


Only Human

by effinsusie



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alliances, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Male-Female Friendship, Sesskag - Freeform, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:20:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 509,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22170931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/effinsusie/pseuds/effinsusie
Summary: [COMPLETE]  Winter is coming, and Kagome is prepared.  A thoughtless wish binds Kagome to Sesshoumaru.
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome & InuYasha, Higurashi Kagome & Sesshoumaru, Higurashi Kagome/Sesshoumaru, InuYasha & Sesshoumaru (InuYasha), InuYasha/Sango (InuYasha), Miroku/Sango (InuYasha)
Comments: 678
Kudos: 744
Collections: Canon SessKag - Classic Canon Divergence, Fics in the Time of Coronavirus





	1. Here We Go Again

“Bye Mom! Bye Gramps! I’ll see you guys soon!”

Her grandfather bid her farewell without deigning to lookup from his paper as he casually pecked at what remained of the meal they had just shared.

Her mother, however, took a break from washing the newly dirtied dishes to ensure that her only daughter was prepared for her latest trip through the well.

Stopping Kagome’s progress as she hurriedly crossed the threshold, her mother called out before she disappeared... literally.

“Are you sure you have everything you need? It may not be too bad here, but it is well known that these parts have endured some terrible winter storms in the past.”

Her mother was right. January was almost over, and the last two winters Kagome had experienced while hunting jewel shards in the past had been rough ones. Snow dumped down mercilessly for weeks on end, trapping them in their huts for days as if an avalanche had barricaded them in.

But the worst part was the cold. Temperatures dropped to well below freezing, and the never-ending assault of the bone chilling winds made it feel even frostier than it was.

The first year, she had been unprepared. Armed with only wool socks and her best winter coat, the nights and days were long ones as fingers, toes, and faces numbed in the elements. The meager blankets they slept under did little to shield them from the brisk temperatures, and were it not for the vast supply of wood they had chopped that previous summer for dinner fires, the results could have been devastating.

After that, she kept a stocked supply of warm wear, emergency food, and anything one might need when trapped in a hut with four freezing companions- and a neko youkai.

But when the chill rolled in, bringing ominous clouds and their first taste of snowfall; Kagome immediately made the trip back home for extra procurements. Her abused backpack was bulging with surely much more than it was ever intended to carry, and she was covered head to toe in toasty attire- newly acquired after a very profitable Christmas with her family.

“I think I’m all set! And even if I wasn’t, I don’t think I could possibly carry any more.”

“Wait! You will need one more thing.” Eager to return to her friends, Kagome huffed as her mother disappeared out of sight, and quickly returned with full arms.

Kagome smiled gratefully as she was handed a lush sleeping bag; never once used and rolled up tight. It was puffy with stuffed down, and had a soft warm flannel inside that was just begging to be nuzzled by rosy cheeks. It would definitely be big enough for two, and Kagome had entertained more than one girlish fantasy about coaxing a certain half demon to share it with her as the chilly winter nights persisted.

“I almost forgot. Thanks mom.”

After strapping the bag to her backpack; she leaned in to hug her mother goodbye, and was given one last lingering look before she took off yet again. Holding her daughter’s arms on each side, Mrs. Higurashi smiled warmly and gave a resigned sigh.

“Please be safe, Kagome. I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you.”

“I always am, mom. Besides, I have Inuyasha and the others looking out for me. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

“I know, dear. But it is a mother’s job to worry.”

Having given as much assurance as she possibly could have; Kagome turned to continue her path to the well house, and without looking back, she jumped through time.

* * *

A shiver tore through her as she scaled the well and landed knee deep in the brutal winter snow. She nearly had to dig herself out of the pile of white freeze as she appeared at the bottom, and the layers of protection she donned were already damp from her efforts.

She hadn’t been gone a week, but it looked like a storm had already taken the village captive. Snow fell and wind whipped with such force that even if she had been able to keep her eyes open fully in the harsh weather, she wouldn’t have been able to see far. She may as well be in a snow globe; thick white air clouded the distance in every direction.

She could barely get her bearings, trying to recall from memory which way would lead her to her friends. She hoped they were okay, but was confident that she had left them with enough supplies to see them comfortable until she got back.

Wincing in several directions before deciding on a path, she was distracted by an alarmed and thrashing aura that appeared to be making its way quickly in her direction.

 _‘Youkai!’_ her senses immediately supplied, and she took a defensive stance in the demon’s direction, preparing to summon her purification if the intruder intended to be hostile.

She recognized the aura just moments before confirming it with her eyes, and she relaxed only slightly at the realization that the youkai was familiar... sort of.

“Ah-Un,” she greeted timidly, not confident that this would be a friendly visit. ‘If they are here, then that means that Sesshoumaru must be nearby. But what does he want? And why can’t I sense him?’

And why couldn’t she sense Jaken or Rin either, for that matter? Sesshoumaru didn’t always travel with an entourage, but Ah-Un was never alone. Whenever she had encountered the two-headed beast in the past, at least one member of the unlikely posse had accompanied them.

But the dragon was on its own, and bucking wildly and haphazardly as it made its way closer. The beast was distraught, that much was clear. But though it had the gait of a spooked and rabid animal, it appeared to have its wits about it enough to recognize the miko, and make its way toward her determinedly, and with reckless speed.

She tensed as they reached her, regarding the dragon as she would an unfamiliar dog, and was relieved when it halted before crashing into her and sending her flying. It was hopping in place and jerking its one neck around harshly, while the other nodded into her back with unsettling urgency.

“What is it? Is something wrong?” she asked, knowing that she wouldn’t receive an answer. ‘It is definitely intelligent...enough. But I don’t know how to communicate with them.’ A frightening thought struck her.

“Is Rin okay? Where is she?” The demon seemed to react to the question, bumping into her with its head with sharper force. Fear set in as she worried for the child. Ah-Un didn’t seem to be an unwilling captive when they traveled with Sesshoumaru. And if the dog demon wasn’t here, it meant something was wrong.

“What happened? Where’s Sesshoumaru?” The mention of the demon lord caused more panic from his steed. And seeming to be at the end of its patience with the useless conversation, it used one of its heads to lift her from the ground, and throw her unceremoniously onto its back.

She had no time to protest- not that she intended to- before the dragon took to the skies, with her as its passenger. She still had her cargo, and intended to keep it; she adjusted her pack on her shoulders and used her hands to grip tight so that she wouldn’t fall off at the intimidating speeds.

Even with incredible demon haste, the journey through the blinding snowstorm took several minutes. A demon could cover ground quickly when properly motivated, and Ah-Un very much seemed to be. She didn’t know where they had ended up, but it had to be far.

She was grateful when they finally landed, and she jumped off before she was thrown to the ground.

Ah-Un's panicked bucking continued, but its attention was now on a crumpled mass in the snow.

Long black hair was all she could make out at first, and that was the first sign that confirmed to her that it was a person. Who was it?

Whoever it was, they weren’t moving; despite being nudged repeatedly, and harshly. The nonverbal beast seemed to be doing its best to relay its panicked plea; to both its target and their audience.

Kagome was finally able to barely make out traces of their immediate surroundings. Only steps away, was a river coated in ice. She wouldn’t have been able to tell, if not for the large hole made by force in the surface.

Ah-Un huffed loudly, commanding her attention, and once it had it, proceeded to nudge and nuzzle the apparently unconscious human in the snow. The person was faced-down, but studying the mass of hair more closely, she could tell that it was wet. She gasped.

This person must have fallen through the ice, and it looked like the dragon had pulled them out.

It was clear that it wanted her to help them, and she would not deny aid.

Making her way over quickly, she dropped to her knees, to take vitals.

At closer proximity, she recognized the attire of the individual.

These were Sesshoumaru’s silks...and his armor. What was this person doing with his things? She couldn’t imagine any scenario in which the dog demon would be robbed and stripped of his clothing, and she rolled the blacked haired human over to investigate further.

It was a man, that much she could tell. And he was heavy. The dead weight of the lifeless being only added to the density of his impressive stature. It took all her strength to flip him over, and she didn’t manage the feat without a few strained grunts and less-than-ladylike epithets.

The very first thing she took in of this pitiful sight was the large black eye that nearly matched the color of his hair. Other smaller bruises and gashes were present on his visage, but the swollen eye stole the show by far. After the shock of the battered face settled in, a double take followed a long, still moment as she immediately took in the resemblance.

This was Sesshoumaru... only, it wasn’t.

He had no markings. Other than the effects of what appeared to be a brutal assault. No crescent graced his noble brow, no stripes... nothing to inform any who would look his way of his aristocratic pedigree.

But she recognized him instantly. This was his face. Even without his demon markings, however, something else was jarringly off. He looked... vulnerable.

She supposed anyone in this situation would. He was frozen, nearly drowned, and defenseless. She couldn’t see his eyes, as they were closed, but she brushed his bangs aside to regard him more completely.

“Miko!” A familiar squawk startled her from her perusal.

“Jaken!” she responded to the toad as he made his way to her with haste. He was visibly shaken, but held none of the disdain that was usual when he greeted her. He stopped at her side to kneel beside the very still lord.

“What happened?”

“You must heal him!” He ignored her question to issue the demand.

They could go over this later. It was clear that Sesshouamru needed help, and fast.

She turned back to him as she placed her fingers to his neck, hoping for a trace of a pulse. The cold feel to his skin was alarming, and she lowered her head to his face for any signs of life. She could detect none at first; she finally found a slow and low heartbeat... but it was very weak.

“Is he...?” Jaken’s tears were barely contained.

“He’s alive,” she announced solemnly, causing the toad to release a very audible breath. “But barely. We need to warm him up fast.”

She turned to address Jaken directly.

“Is there anywhere we can go for cover? We don’t have much time.”

His eyes never left his lord, and he tried to organize through his distressed mind for anything remotely helpful. A thought finally struck him.

“I know of a cave, but the journey will take several minutes.”

It would have to do. There was no time for second thoughts or back up plans.

She moved to lift him then, but could barely prop him up. Ah-Un took charge, using its two heads to easily lift Sesshoumaru onto his back, and Jaken immediately followed suit. Before she could climb aboard herself, the dragon aided her up as well.

The back of the beast was now crowded, but she quickly went to secure Sesshoumaru. Holding him in place was more for her own comfort. She wasn’t strong enough to keep him from falling if the ride became turbulent. Neither was Jaken, but they held onto him still. Ah-Un's steady movements seemed to be the only real thing keeping Sesshoumaru from taking a tumble to the terrain far below.

They traveled without comment; silently assessing Sesshoumaru’s limp form, and pondering how such things could have come to be. Motionless, marred, and mortal; Kagome wondered how, after all he had apparently endured, he could retain that passive expression on his face. She studied it as they flew through the air; half lost in thought, and half willfully distracting herself from some very likely possible outcomes in the not so distant future.

They finally arrived to the mouth of a cave. It was wide enough for the dragon to enter. And when they did, it did its best to gently deposit Sesshoumaru to the hard rock ground below.

Kagome unrolled her sleeping bag as the two demons fussed anxiously over their lord’s comfort.

“We need to get him warm.”

“What should I do?” a helpless Jaken inquired frantically.

“We have to get him out of these wet clothes. Do you know how to remove his armor?” she asked, fumbling with the ties awkwardly. Jaken was hesitant, but only for a moment.

He didn’t want to take any liberties with his lord’s person, but it was clear that if he didn’t, the results could be dire.

Pushing Kagome aside, Jaken made quick work of the straps, but when loose, he needed the miko to aid him in removing it. When she began removing his soaked haori, Jaken hesitated again. He shouldn’t let her do this, but made no move to stop her as he watched on.

“What do I do now?”

She managed not to wince as the answer became clear to her.

She hadn’t taken any of the survival classes that they offered at her high school. Though, with the way she lived, it would have been the smart move.

She did watch a number of television shows on the subject, however. And one of the methods that stayed fresh in her mind was indeed one for warming a person who was in danger of freezing to death.

Though when she pictured this unlikely scenario playing out in her fantasy, it certainly wasn’t like this.

It was supposed to happen with Inuyasha. And because a half demon probably wouldn’t be at any risk of losing a dangerous amount of body heat; he would have been the one to save her.

She would be near death from the cold, and Inuyasha would ask her what to do. She would tell him how to save her life, and he would shyly oblige... and realize his feelings for her in the process.

That’s how it was supposed to go. And in that moment, Kagome decided that the next time she wanted to ask the fates for any favors, she would resort to using reverse psychology.

Because instead, here she was.

Despite all of her selfless acts of kindness, and do-gooding nature; she was put in a position where she would have to attempt to save the one person who probably rather die than accept her aid.

And for her efforts - which had no upside for her, mind you - she would probably receive a push off a cliff, or a snap of her neck.

If she had any longer to mull her options, she might have reconsidered.

As she continued to remove the silks, she only glanced up a moment to regard him.

“I don’t suppose either of you are warm blooded?”

“No. No reptile demon is. I don’t see what that has to do with-”

“Then the best thing you can do is build a fire. I see you have your staff; we just need some wood.”

“The staff of two heads is powerful, but it can’t make fire of water!” he screeched, more out of frustration than anger. “Any wood out there is drenched all the way through. The amount of fire it would require to ignite would burn it down to nothing!”

His lord’s chest now bare, he did his best to ignore the start he felt at watching the miko begin the task of removing his hakama.

“Well, you better find some. We don’t have much time. Take Ah-Un, and go find some wood that will burn. Lots of it. It is the only thing that will save him.”

As Sesshoumaru was reduced to nothing but his fundoshi, she paused a moment to regard the toad demon. She had to get him into the sleeping bag, and she considered leaving his undergarments. But they would do him no favors soaked through. They would get the bag wet as well, and they needed the dry material to warm his frozen body.

She stood to unzip the bag completely, and laid it spread out flat.

“Remove it,” she directed, her back turned to the pair. Jaken obeyed, and undid the last bit of cover from Sesshoumaru’s body. He was somewhat mollified by the fact that the woman did not seem interested in molesting his lord’s nude form. With her eyes, or otherwise.

“Now what?”

“Help me get him onto the bag.” She avoided looking below the waist as she grabbed Sesshoumaru by the shoulders to turn him. Jaken was beside her at his back, and together they rolled him into position. Managing not to sneak a peek, she quickly zipped the bag around him to encase him in it.

When she stood with the drenched clothing in her hands, the freezing temperature of the cave became even more apparent. As it stood, it offered them cover from the snow and a wall from the winds. But little else as far as warmth.

She took to Sesshoumaru’s discarded attire, and stretched it out across the floor of the cave to dry. As she did, she continued issuing orders.

“Get as much wood as you can carry, then bring it back here. And hurry.”

He nodded, making his way back to Ah-Un. He would normally not consider taking orders from a human, but her confidence bolstered his own in her. She appeared to know what to do, even if it was all show. For he, himself, had been at a loss until she appeared.

“What are you going to do?” he asked as he grabbed the beast’s reins and made to exit.

Removing her own coat to lay beside Sesshoumaru’s clothes on the ground, she answered simply.

“I’ll do my best to get him warm. But we need that fire. Go.” She was now removing her sweater, and Jaken barely contained a flinch. With no time to waste; he only nodded once, and without sparing a look over his shoulder, they were off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is a long haul, but i swear i worked hard to keep your interest at every turn. expect a rollercoaster the whole way through, and if i still haven't sold you by the halfway mark, things really start to shift there, so keep reading!!
> 
> i guarantee i will make you laugh OUT LOUD, cry real tears, get angry, become aroused, and feel your heart break IN THE SAME CHAPTER more than once here, or your money back!! but if i do, just please tell me about it. deal? i feed off the emotions i evoke, so let me know which ones you had. but only tell me if you mean it, okay? no hollow pandering.
> 
> i like to make my characters grow, so if you don't like them now, that is because i only want you to like them more later. don't be scared, its supposed to happen.
> 
> if you are a seasoned sesskag reader, or this is your first time, i want you to enjoy yourself! feel free to take a break and read my sesskag one-shots along the way. i have one for every flavor. XD Or if you prefer to binge, just check out my other stuff when you are done here!  
> and leave me a note or two along the way! it makes my day to clock your progress, even if its to tell me i suck lol. i am very secure, so don't worry about it XD Let me have it!  
> ooh, and its my life's goal to convert shippers, so let me know if i do that at any point. come for the smut, stay for the hot sesskag chemistry. come for it...
> 
> lol. I'm aware that i am a tool XD


	2. I Need Survival Skills for my Survival Skills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagome warms Sesshoumaru

Kagome pushed her most trepedatious thoughts to the rear of her consciousness as she stripped herself beside the immobile lord. Time was of the essence, and she refused to let her maidenly qualms endanger the life of her on-again off-again ally.

Momentum aided her in continuing with her task. Once she began removing clothing, adrenaline propelled her forward, not to mention the bite of the cold. Once she was undressed, she would be able to join him in the sleeping bag and start warming them both. Though he was absolutely the priority.

She peeled off her final layer of clothing, exposing herself to the elements, and stretched them out to join Sesshoumaru’s attire on the cave floor.

She entered the bag quickly, though still very cautiously. Her goal was to hopefully get him healthy enough to come to, but her nerves were on edge at what he might do once he did.

She gently stretched herself over him, trying not to cause him any discomfort, or worse, startle him awake. She fought the urge to recoil as she felt the effects of the harsh winter storm on his now human body.

Nipples hardened immediately at the intimate feel of his freezing skin against hers, and at the contact, she held herself still. Her own skin was reduced to gooseflesh the instant it was exposed to Sesshoumaru, and she clenched as she melded herself against him, attempting to will her body to transfer its heat through osmosis.

She could ignore the absurdity of the situation, but not the danger. Fear of what he might do when he woke up kept her deathly still. But after a long moment - a moment in which he hadn’t moved a muscle - she allowed herself to relax, if only slightly.

She grabbed onto his shoulders and pressed her cheek to his chest. His heartbeat was much easier to detect now, and she saw it as progress. She had begun trembling slightly, likely more on account of the temperature than her fear, and she started to finally move as she got used to their position.

She anxiously took the flats of her hands and smoothed them over the soft, stripeless skin of his upper arms. She allowed them to travel experimentally down to his wrists and back, and repeated the motion several times.

She ventured up his chest, to his neck, and ran her calloused palms over the hardened peaks of his nipples. She let each hand linger on top of them a moment, looking for some positive sign that her efforts were helping. She waited for them to soften, but the pebbles remained rigid under her touch.

She rubbed her palms in circles, rolling each point under them a moment more, before deciding to venture onward.

As she let her arms travel the expanse of his upper body, she was amazed at the hardness of his form. Certainly, the unforgiving temperatures he had been forced to endure would have caused his muscles to tighten over, not that he appeared to need much aid in adding rigidity. He felt like he looked; as if he was sculpted from marble, or some other cold stone. But his unresponsive figure appeared deceptive in contrast to the tension of his body.

Every inch of him was ice to her touch, and she reacted to the glaring knowledge by using her hands to quickly cause friction by rubbing him over at a faster pace.

She had heard Inuyasha call him ‘the Ice Prince’ on more than one occasion, but this gave the nickname a whole new meaning. And despite his new found vulnerability, she couldn’t avoid feeling awkward... or scared.

His smooth features beneath her hands often gave way to recently scarred and broken skin. Some of these wounds would need to be tended to soon after he regained consciousness. If he did. And if she survived the process.

His damaged features were more jarring now that she was this close. And she forced herself to focus on that aspect, instead of the fact that she was naked, and effectively squirming on top of him.

His mangled face appeared to be the worst of it, but she now noticed the rest of his body harbored brutal wounds as well. Bruises, abrasions and gashes littered his lean form, and she took note of the deep cuts that may eventually become infected. A particularly grisly wound on his shoulder captivated her attention, and she drew her fingers over it in a feather light, appraising touch.

What had happened to him? Who could have done this? And why?

And more importantly, why did he appear to be a human?

‘How could a full-blooded demon like Sesshoumaru be reduced to such a state? What could have possibly transformed him-’

She stilled her rubbing of him a moment as terror suddenly washed over her. ‘Oh, no!’

_Flashback_

_Kagome was alone in the woods, searching for the herbs that could ease Inuyasha’s pain. Thanks to a visit from Sesshoumaru, the hanyou was with her friends back at the hut nursing some very serious battle wounds._

_She begged him for mercy once Inuyasha was on the brink of death, and was actually surprised that he had halted his assault on her friend._

_He startled her when he let his gaze slide her way. She was relieved she could distract him from his terrible deeds, but she wondered in that moment if he had elected to turn his ire on her for interrupting._

_But Sesshoumaru had a way of cutting his opponent down without ever drawing his sword. His mouth often proved to be just as formidable a weapon._

_"The only thing more pathetic than a hanyou is any weak human that claims to love them."_

_S_ _he was relieved when he left, though it hardly eclipsed the pain she felt. She winced at the insult. But instead of responding to his retreating form, she gathered the battered hanyou into her arms as she did her best to comfort him._

_She cringed at the memory, and began to shake with rage._

_It was easy for him to say! Someone like him could never know what it felt like to be inadequate. To be lacking in anything. He was, by all outward appearances, perfect. Until he opened his mouth, that is. He probably never had a difficult day in his whole life... until she released Inuyasha from the tree._

_She smiled at the thought. How humbling it must have been to lose his arm to his half breed brother. Couldn’t have happened to anyone more deserving. It was still too good for him. For all the pain he caused the one she loved, he was sure due some comeuppance._

_But it didn’t seem like he would ever get it. Despite his setbacks, he was only getting stronger. He would never have to endure what the rest of them did. He would ride the coattails of his superior heritage for the rest of his long life. The universe was so unfair._

_“I wish Sesshoumaru knew what it was really like to be a human.”_

_At the utterance, the completed jewel around her neck glowed fantastically bright for a brief moment, before fading back to its former self._

_Her word choice hadn’t occurred to her, and she paused curiously to see what had her jewel behaving so strangely._

_She waited for something to happen, but nothing appeared to change. Must’ve been reacting to her anger, she surmised._

_“That was weird,” she thought aloud, but dwelled no more on it, as the herb she had been searching for finally appeared in the brush. She grabbed several large fistfuls of the plant, and made her way back to the hut._

A barely perceptible whine from his throat startled her from her memory. It sounded nothing like him. She couldn’t tell what his voice now sounded like, but it the animalistic tint to his language appeared to be affected by the change. Could he even growl now? She was certain he had never before been capable of a whimper.

But she took the noise as a good sign. He must be warming a bit. His chest and arms were accumulating heat, but his legs against hers were still ice cold. She scissored them with his and bent them to cause more friction, but it wasn’t good enough. Resigning herself, she moved lower, purposely avoiding his midsection, and used her hands to rub up and down his toned lower limbs.

When she crossed to the bottom of the sleeping bag, her efforts to grant him a measure of privacy had faltered.

She hadn’t meant to look. But she couldn’t deny that she was curious. She had never seen a naked man before, and she definitely hadn’t expected her first glimpse would be an unconscious former demon who had tried to kill her more than once.

But her first ever look at a man’s penis brought something else to light. She had been intentionally neglecting very important parts of his body, and guilt rushed through her when she realized what it meant for him. In trying to preserve her modesty, as much as she could in this situation, it appeared she may be putting him in danger. What she saw gave the term 'blue balls' a whole new meaning.

The rest of him was warming up, but she had ignored certain parts of his anatomy. Not just for her benefit. She was more than confident that when he came to - if he did - he would not appreciate the knowledge that he was fondled by a human. But he would probably appreciate it even less if he were to lose those particular appendages to frostbite.

Either way, he would not be pleased. There was a good chance she would die no matter what she did now. So, she reasoned, she probably shouldn’t perish without touching a penis at least once. And, she reminded herself, it was the kind thing to do.

Swallowing thickly, she slowly, and very unsurely, moved her hand place it in her grasp. The shock of his frozen manhood against the heat of her hand was so contrast that it burned her to touch.

She just gripped it firmly, letting the heat seep in. She thought it best if she didn’t move around too much. If he were to... _react_... she didn’t know how she would handle that situation. What’s worse, he could regain consciousness any moment. And how could she explain that? She wouldn't get the chance. She would be dispatched in an instant.

She was very grateful that he remained soft as she cradled him, and when she felt him begin to warm, she moved to cup his testicles so that they could get some blood flowing as well.

She marveled in the foreign feeling of a grown man in her hands. It wasn’t what she expected it to feel like. But then, she wasn’t sure what exactly she had been expecting. When she heard her friends in the future talk about their encounters with male organs, they only described the feel when it had stiffened. She hadn’t considered that when she took a man into her grasp, he wouldn’t be very excited by the contact. She wasn’t complaining. She would actually be quite distraught if Sesshoumaru became hard in her presence. But something about the encounter left her feeling somewhat... disappointed.

Another noise from his throat nearly gave her a heart attack, and she quickly removed her hand. He wasn’t awake yet, and she figured she better quit while she was ahead. She hurriedly moved back up to him, and sprawled on top of him once more.

The upper body was definitely safer territory. Though still not at all comfortable. She rubbed a now familiar path across the expanse of his muscular chest. But something was different. Wait!

Running across his nipples for what felt like the hundredth time, she realized that they had softened to an incredible degree. They still held some firmness, but they were a far cry from the glass-cutting peaks she had encountered throughout her endeavors. She was pleased that her actions seemed to finally be taking effect, and she ignored how she missed the feel of the hardness as she traveled over them once more.

Her belly had been pressed to his, and it seemed to be doing wonders. Sweat even felt like it was accumulating between them, but she couldn’t be certain which of them had produced it. She ran her hands down the sides of his torso, and blushed wickedly at the contact.

With all she had been through for him, she definitely shouldn’t still be harboring any modesty. But the firmness of his form, the well-shaped feel of his perfect muscles under her touch... it was pleasing. He felt the way she had imagined a man to feel. The way she had desired one to feel. But though Sesshoumaru was worthy of awe, and desire, she had never considered him in such a light. Could never.

Even though he may be what any hormone-addled girl would be foaming at the mouth to get her hands on, he was not a nice person. And Kagome wasn’t shallow. It had been easy to ignore his attractive face, his pleasing physique. But up close and personal like this, it would be a lie to deny his superficial appeal.

She allowed herself to bask in the sensation as she ran her eager palms over each rippling muscle of his perfectly cut abdominals. She would never choose to do this. Never have even considered it. But here and now, doing it out of purely selfless nature, she was forced to accept the fact that this demon... _human_ , was an arousing sight to behold.

But this wasn’t for her pleasure. She was fondling him to save his life. So, she figured, she could endure a few more passes up and down the taut muscle of his rigid body. Because it was necessary. Because she had to do it.

She still felt immensely guilty at the fact that she, for a moment, had actually been enjoying it. Yeah, she was a real Mother Theresa...

She had been at it for nearly 20 minutes, and Jaken still hadn’t returned with the wood. But when Sesshoumaru finally started to stir, she stilled. Her panic froze her in place as his eyelids slowly began to rise, and because she had yet to formulate a plan for this intended scenario, she could only hold her breath. Though his eyes were now opened, it took him a long moment to come to. Looking through her at first, she tensed incredibly, and awaited her fate - whatever that was.

The few seconds it took him to return to full consciousness felt like a lifetime, and she made not a sound to avoid spooking him. It was almost as if she believed that she didn’t move and alert him to her presence, he wouldn’t notice she was there.

He blinked once. Twice. Ten times, before moving his lips and attempting to speak, but he didn’t. Or couldn’t. She wasn’t sure. When it looked like he might, she nervously beat him to it.

“Um... hi.”

A violent shiver rocked his form, and she grasped his shoulders reflexively in response. He was trembling, and it made her move against him again, to warm his still chilly body.

“Do you know who I am?” she asked hopefully. Though she wasn’t sure if it would help her.

He appeared to be trying with all his might to answer her. Forcing his lips to form any words, she waited patiently for him to speak. He shook as he forced the word from his mouth.

“M-M..Mik-ko.”

She normally found the way he chose to address her very irritating. But she had never been so happy to hear her title spill past his demeaning lips. She was fairly certain of his opinion of her, but his recognition alone told her that at least his brain hadn’t suffered too drastically. She could work with this.

“Yes! That’s good. Do you know who you are?”

“Shhh....Shhesshhs...” his teeth were chattering, and she placed a hand at his chest to stop his efforts. His trembling slowed fractionally at the contact, and he used the soothing touch she gave him as an anchor.

“That’s right. Sesshoumaru.” She allowed him a moment to attempt to control his wracked disposition. She had so many questions, but this was hardly time for the third degree.

“Do you remember what happened?” Giving up on speech, he forced a painful nod.

“That’s okay. You don’t have to tell me now,” she assured him tenderly, trying to get him to relax. “You were nearly frozen when I found you. I am doing my best to get you warm. Do you understand?”

He was still shaking as he looked into her face, and looked down to their touching bodies a moment, before returning his gaze to hers. He only nodded again.

At his admission, she found the courage to resume rubbing him ever so gently as she spoke.

“Okay. I mean you no harm, alright? Jaken is getting us wood for a fire right now. We need to stay here until your body temperature rises. I am going to rub your skin to get blood flowing.” Narrating took the edge off slightly, and he quit attempting to control his form yet again, closing his eyes and laying his head back to the ground.

This was good. He was conscious, and she wasn’t dead. She ignored the possibility that it was simply because he didn’t have the strength yet. Laying her head against his chest to avoid eye contact, she kept up with rubbing her hands across his chest and arms while occasionally moving her legs up and down to warm the rest of him. He allowed the contact to continue, purely by making no move to stop her.

Despite her mortification, she was relieved when Jaken and Ah-Un finally arrived with wood. It wasn’t enough to last but an hour. But it was a start.

“My Lord! You are awake!” Jaken pushed past his discomfort at seeing the naked miko laying on top of his lord to rush to his side.

When he didn’t respond, the toad continued on.

“The miko came to aid you, My Lord-” he started nervously. It seemed like he was trying to explain the situation, so that she wouldn’t be harmed. Or maybe it was so the toad himself would not be killed for allowing this to occur.

“Jaken,” Kagome demanded harshly, “The fire!”

“Oh, yes! Of course!” Piling the wood into a bundle near the bag, he used his staff to set it aflame.

The warm licks were a great relief, and she stretched her face to it welcomingly.

“Take a moment to warm up. Then, you need to get more,” she informed him as she closed her eyes in the face of the new heat.

Jaken wouldn’t argue as he huddled close on the other side of his fire.

Comfortable now that they were no longer alone, she let her exhaustion take over as she finally allowed sleep to claim her by force. She considered that it was entirely possible that she would never wake up. Because; even though the body beneath her had recently been at her mercy, now that he was alert, she was helplessly at his.


	3. In the Bag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sesshoumaru and Kagome together in a sleeping bag

When she stirred from her brief rest and opened her eyes, Jaken was gone. Ah-Un was gone. And Sesshoumaru was... awake.

She refused to start at the foreign set of eyes boring passionlessly into her own. He betrayed no anger or upset as he looked back at her with his listless expression, but it offered her no solace. Because even though he displayed no outward signs to her, Kagome could pretty much guess what was festering beneath his surface. He would leave it up to her to discern his thoughts on their situation, and she was certain that grateful relief was not among them.

She had somehow managed to remain on top of him as she slept, continuing to lend him her warmth as she herself was able to recharge. Despite the rigid feel of his hard, muscular form; her body rested against his comfortably, allowing her to relax completely above him.

She couldn’t have been asleep long, for the fire still had life, and it appeared that the reptile duo had gone back out to ensure that the flames would continue to blaze throughout the night.

Though a long ways from properly heated, it was a great improvement to his previous state. Sesshoumaru was now alert, but by no means himself. He was devastatingly human.

Was that why she was still alive, and allowed to remain in very close proximity?

She pushed her nerves aside to appraise the - once- demon lord.

She felt guilty for nodding off on him. After all he had been through... and as soon as he could talk again, he had been reduced to nothing more than a body pillow.

“How are you feeling?” She finally managed to ask. He refused to look away, but wouldn’t deign a response.

Maybe he wasn’t as different as she thought. Still, she ventured on.

“Are you okay?”

Again, he didn’t answer. She really hadn’t expected him to. And, she supposed, he really didn’t need to. He was about as fucking far from ‘okay’ as she had ever seen him. Pride could be mended. Arms grew back- at least his seemed to. But she didn’t know how to fix this. She didn’t even know if they could.

They could get to that later. But if she was going to help him, beyond simply getting his body temperature to a survivable level, she was going to need at least the most basic information.

“What happened?” she begged.

He remained completely still as she bravely continued her warming motions against him. Slightly relieved by his lucidity, and no longer dreading his pending retaliation, she allowed herself to take in his new appearance more fully.

There was no denying it.

He was absolutely, heart-stoppingly gorgeous.

She had attributed his stunning features in the past to his exotic heritage. Despite the pleasing symmetry of his perfectly aligned bone structure, she had considered that his jarring good-looks had more to do with his dog demon nature.

But seeing him now, stripped of his culture - not to mention his clothes - it was made painfully clear that his youkai blood was not entirely to blame.

As a human, he was perfection. Even donning a black eye and several fresh abrasions, he was by far the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on. She couldn’t be sure with him flat on his back, but his transformation into a human seemed to rob him of some of his height. He was still very tall- taller than most humans, but his stature looked smaller in comparison to his former self.

His frame was still incredibly built - an anatomy professor’s teaching aid come to life, really - but he seemed to have diminished some. He didn’t appear quite as intimidating, but perhaps it was due to his new vulnerability.

And though she found herself missing the gold in his eyes, the violet irises he now wore were definitely nothing to scoff at.

His unreadable mask was still spot on, and he fixed her with it as she caught herself staring, and averted her gaze guiltily.

It appeared that she wasn’t going to get anywhere as far as conversation, so she decided to put her curiosity on hold to keep with her task. As she allowed her hands to run over the hard planes of his chest, she had to remind her self not to enjoy the feel of his body beneath her own.

Heat was pooling low in her abdomen at the intimate contact, and though she felt the urge to, it would not be wise to follow her body’s call to grind her hips into his thick leg. She scolded herself mentally at the inappropriate reaction.

As the miko lay on top of him, doing her best to rub him warm, Sesshoumaru assessed their current predicament, trying to determine his next course of action.

He detested this situation. Having a human touching him so intimately made his skin want to crawl. It was bad enough being reduced to this pathetic state, but now he had witnesses.

The only thing keeping him from snapping her neck for having the audacity to remain in his presence was the fact that she appeared to be making efforts to save his now mortal life.

How he would love to have his poison claws. To summon his deadly toxins to his fingertips and dispatch her for her offenses. But his blunt human nails would hardly break her skin. The downsides to his limited abilities just kept multiplying...

As she let her hands venture downward to rub the sides of his still perfectly cut torso, even his dulled mortal senses could detect her arousal. No, he couldn’t scent it, like he would have in the past. But in his short amount of time as a human, he was becoming aware of the tools he had at his disposal.

Where a dog demon could rely on sharp hearing and keen sense of smell to tell them everything they needed to know, humans seemed to rely more on sight. And touch.

And if the dampness pressing against his thigh wasn’t enough to clue him in to her affliction, the look she was making as she tried to repress the pleasurable feeling of the contact would have been enough to do the trick. It was a disgusting thought, and if she had been looking him in the face at that moment, she would have seen the sneer that slipped past his facade.

She had worried that her actions might stir his male instincts, and she couldn’t deny her relief at the fact that he remained soft throughout her motions. ‘He probably hates this. I’m sure that nothing I am doing is affecting him that way.’

But she was becoming affected. She was grateful that women displayed no obvious outward signs of arousal. She had been at it for hours now, and no warm-blooded teenage girl could be in such a situation without having some sort of reaction to this naked model-material.

But though he was finally beginning to warm nicely, her body was losing heat. She trembled as a shiver shot through her form, and he couldn’t ignore the feel of her hardened nipples as they pressed tightly against his chest.

“Ow,” she winced painfully, shutting her eyes tight as she did.

Finally breaking his silence; he eyed her suspiciously.

“You are injured?” 

He could detect no blood. But then, he wouldn’t, would he? Not that he cared. But if she were to suddenly die, or even become ill, the warmth of her body would cease to aid him in his own recovery. If he could make it through the night, then he should be fine on his own. What happened to her after that was none of his concern.

She was embarrassed at the situation, but they were way past modesty at this point. Her nipples had tightened to an excruciating degree, and she moved her hand to cup them as she tried to alleviate the pain.

‘Was that all?’ he wondered. ‘Minor discomfort? How pathetic.’

He had spent several long minutes in an ice-cold river, and who knows how long after that in a snow-covered bank. And was he complaining?

Even as a human; he continued to display strength beyond even those accustomed to their limitations, meager and unimpressive as it may be.

But, as he was stealing her heat, it was clear that she had taken some of his frostiness in return. And whatever aid she had offered him - for whatever reason - aside, she would do him no good frozen.

He considered her motions only a moment longer, before rolling her onto her back in a swift, albeit awkward motion. She gasped at the sudden movement.

This was it. He had regained enough strength to finally kill her.

She couldn’t find her voice, and her eyes widened in fear as she anticipated his assault.

Pressing his weight on her now, he couldn’t say he wasn’t pleased at the terror that overcame her features. But he needed her body warm, and despite her offenses, she had aided his survival.

She had no time to form an objection as he dipped his head down and took a rock-hard peak into his mouth.

“What are you... Oh!” Her protest quickly morphed into a quite wanton sound. A sound she had never made, and had no idea that she we capable of. His actions were mortifying, but incredibly relieving, as the painfully hard peak began to relax from his attentions.

Her nipple melted in his mouth like an ice cube, and as he moved his hot tongue to lave over the tightened bud; she couldn’t prevent her hand from grabbing the back of his head to pull him nearer. She could have sworn she intended to pull him away, but her fingers tangled into his strands, and once reduced to a smaller pebble; he released it to begin suckling on its twin.

It took all she had not to buck at his actions. She actually might have thrusted her hips once or twice. She was already turned on by their proximity, but this new development was working her into a frenzy.

It seemed to click through the haze brought on by his lust-inducing actions that he was doing this simply for her warmth, and possibly her comfort. And she was grateful that she was probably with the one guy in the world who would not take advantage of this situation. But she couldn’t stop that traitorous part in the back of her mind from wishing that he would.

‘Please don’t stop! Oh kami, keep going...’

But even though it was frustrating, she was relieved that he didn’t appear to be at all interested in progressing things past what was absolutely necessary for survival.

She was startled to realize that if he were to advance on her in that moment, she wasn’t at all confident that she would be able to resist him.

This was a task. A chore. One he saw through with the resigned excitement one would display while watering the lawn or taking out the trash.

‘The shit I put up with.’

Once satisfied that her breasts were comfortable again, he released them, but remained on top of her, looking down into her flushed visage. She was unable to make eye contact for a moment, as she forced her frazzled mind into some semblance of order. But ignoring him forever would not remain an option, so she finally lifted her gaze to meet his own. He appeared to be expecting some sort of signal that his pained efforts had not been in vain; that he had lessened her discomfort sufficiently.

She couldn’t tell if he was waiting for confirmation, or gratitude. So, pushing her bashful mortification aside; she offered him both, wisely repressing her initial instinct to chastise him for his audacity.

“Thank you,” she gifted him shyly, and he nodded once in return.

The weight of the awkward silence became too much to endure, so she thoughtlessly handled it in the way she usually did with uncomfortable situations. An inappropriate, misguided attempt at humor.

“You know, I think my clit is cold too.”

She smiled weakly at the joke, but he was not at all amused.

Fixing her with a cold glare a long moment, he finally responded.

“So is my cock,” he replied angrily, and her face fell. Leaning back down, he blew on her moistened peaks in reprimand, causing them to tighten painfully again.

“Ow!” she complained, and he rolled off of her to turn his back on her, laying on his side to fume in solitude.

Is this how his kindness is to be repaid? With mockery? It appeared that he was right in never accommodating humans. What did he expect?

She moved to embrace him from behind, desperate to regain the warmth she had lost at his departure. His back was still freezing from laying against the cold ground, and she pressed herself closer to trap more heat between them. Fully encasing him from behind; she rubbed her hands across his pecks, and tried to make amends.

“Sesshoumaru, I’m sorry. That was a bad joke.” At his silence, she continued to try and appease.

“Look. This is really awkward. I’m sure you are hating this. I was only trying to lighten the mood. I’m not making fun of you, I swear.”

But he was in no mood for her humor, or her meaningless apologies.

Her increasing arousal had been clearly evident, and he had been waiting for her to make her move. She surely desired him, and he knew it wouldn’t be long before she was begging him to take her. To request payment for her services. He almost hoped she would. He would take great pleasure in refusing her.

Seeing her hopes dashed as she was wrought with embarrassment over his rejection. It would be a minor recompense for the indignities he had endured, but he would enjoy it.

Perhaps a lesser demon would be willing to entertain such advances. Eager, even. But Sesshoumaru was well aware of the dangers of lowering one’s self to engaging in such acts. He briefly wondered how his great father had been lured in by the human who had ultimately caused his demise. Perhaps it started out innocently enough, like this appeared to be. But even though they are weak, it would be foolish for any demon to underestimate the greed and ambitions of humankind. Especially their women.

His honor niggled at him then, as he considered their situation. Like it or not, the miko had saved him. If she hadn’t stepped in to help when she did, his presence in this world would have surely been forfeit.

He owed her his life, and Sesshoumaru hated being in debt.

He would have to make it right with her eventually, and he figured that now was as good as time as any. It wouldn’t do to have this hanging over him any further, and the sooner they were square, the better.

He turned back to face her then, rolling on his side to address her face to face.

Hopeful for forgiveness, she pushed herself past the fear she felt at his sudden movement. She eagerly awaited whatever he had to say as he forced himself to meet his fate, unfortunate as it appeared to be.

He restrained a huff as he trudged through his reluctance.

“This Sesshoumaru is in your debt.” He was clearly very put out by the admission.

“Were it not for your actions, I would have met my death.” The weight of his words hit her with leveling force, and he actually surprised himself with the truth of the statement. But he pressed on.

“As appealing as that option now appears to be, I must offer you payment.” He resigned himself with a sigh, and forced himself to make eye contact. She was captivated by his insistence, and hanging on his every word. But she thought she detected a hint of hesitance in his tone.

He had her complete attention.

“I shall grant you one request. You may have anything you wish. Name your desire, and it shall be yours.”

He wouldn’t enjoy it, but he would offer his body. If he was going to have to lay with a human, he supposed it wouldn’t be as egregious now than if he had been a demon still.

And, he supposed, the friction between their bodies would speed along their collective warming...

Anticipating her inevitable request, he only waited to hear the words.

She wasn’t prepared for the offer, and tried not to look too taken aback.

Anything she wanted? Anything at all?

Oh, the possibilities...

What could he give her that she would want? A short, yet very interesting list began to form in her mind, and she decided not to dwell too long on that question to herself.

What did she want that he could possibly give her? Again, dangerous territory.

She was aware that Sesshoumaru had been a demon of means. But material things did not interest Kagome. And though she was not one to take advantage of such a generous offer, she knew she would do well to not squander this one from the Western Lord. He never offered such things to anyone, and likely never would again. She would need to be strategic, and use the opportunity to extract something from him that he would never otherwise give. But what?

If only he was a real genie; she wouldn’t even have to think about it. In that moment, there was only one thing she wanted. One thing she would wish for. But she was certain that if he were able to make it so, he would have the moment he became human.

No, it was more productive to keep her requests in the realm of things he would actually be able to accomplish. No longer a demon, he was limited further still. But there were still certain things that she was more than confident he could see through. Things he could do to her, if only he were inclined.

She knew what she wanted. She only hoped he would be willing to indulge her.

She nibbled her lip. “Anything?”

Her voice was nervous and unsure, and she looked up at him almost apologetically.

Refusing to allow any weakness into his own tone, he simply answered her quietly. “Yes.”

It must have been his humanity that lent his voice a softness that she had never thought him capable of. Perhaps this wouldn’t be as hard for him as she had anticipated.

Resigning himself, he forced through his trepidation and moved to place a hand on her hip, but her reply halted his actions before he could touch her.

“Don’t kill me.”

He stilled as the words registered. He wondered briefly if he had heard her correctly, and cursed his form again for his slow reaction time and inadequate comprehension skills.

Was that truly her request? Not to be slain by him?

What a waste of a wish.

His honor would not allow taking the life of one who had saved his, and he considered telling her so. Instead, he remained silent. He was getting off easy. But then she tacked on an addendum.

“Or my friends.”

Fuck.

She was cleverer than she appeared. Inuyasha’s life was his to take, but he was counted among her companions. Agreeing would mean that he could never kill the hanyou.

But that didn’t mean he couldn’t occasionally maim him. It offered a mild balm.

He looked scornfully into her eyes for a long moment as he considered her request. Did he really have a choice? He knew the answer.

“Very well.” She released a calming breath at his agreement.

He couldn’t tell if he was relieved or disappointed as he turned to rest on his back once again. She inched closer to him, hesitantly placing her hand against his chest.

“Sesshoumaru. What happened?” She tried again.

But he didn’t seem keen on indulging her at the moment. She wouldn’t press the issue. For now.

He had obviously been through a lot. She could get the details later.

She cautiously moved to sprawl out on top of him once more. He seemed to be allowing it, so she awkwardly climbed back onto him to cover his body with her own.

She did her best to adjust herself more comfortably, without getting _too_ comfortable. As she began to move on him again, he reflexively placed a hand on her hip to steady her against him. But when he realized what he was doing, he removed it just as quickly.

A shiver rolled through her that was not entirely due to the cold. He was not aware of that fact, however. She felt his hands finally lift once more to rest on her back.

Her breath hitched as he began to mimic her motions, rubbing back and forth down the expanse of her form. In lending him her warmth, hers had dropped considerably. And since she had aided him, and not taken advantage of his generous offer to her, he had decided that it was appropriate to return in kind.

He greatly appreciated the woman’s ability to resist her body’s call to him, and was able to drudge up the tiniest bit of respect for her willpower.

He began at a slow pace; stroking her arms, and perusing her back. But as he ventured lower, he noticed how cold her hips and backside had become. His hands were stiff at first as they traveled the expanse of her rear, but as he continued his movements, they naturally began to slightly grab her fleshy mounds.

She would voice no protest as the tension coiled low in her abdomen once more. She closed her eyes as she became wet all over again, and it took all she had not to moan - for fear that the noise might cause him to stop.

His calloused fingers left a burning tingle in their wake as they explored the cold skin of her body. And he was very aware of the way her breasts pressed more firmly against his chest each time he drug them from her rear all the way up to the base of her neck.

He had done well up until this point, but was mortified to realize that now _he_ was beginning to find it difficult not to react. It must be this new weak human form. His control was slipping, and he had to find a way to cool his blood, lest he find himself in an undesirable situation. The way she squirmed pressed his midsection against her stomach in a way that was impossible to ignore.

‘Losing an arm... sitting in a hornet’s nest... unclothed Jaken!’ Unappealing images would temper him briefly, but her continued motions made it impossible to focus.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had lain with a female, but now was definitely not the time for conjuring such memories. Feeling the soft curves of the fairer sex glide over him, or writhe beneath him. The gentle touch of a willing bitch, eager and begging him to encase himself within her tight, wet...

‘Inuyasha... disgusting spider demons... purification... fuck!’

Panic coursed through him as the last of his control slipped, and he did his best to appear passive as his cock finally stiffened between their bodies.

Kagome widened her eyes as she felt it. How could she not? It was pressed against her abdomen very tightly, and the problem was literally too big to ignore.

‘Kami... if this is how big he is as a human, then his demon form...’

She pushed the errant thought from her mind as she tried not to appear frightened. She knew he knew she could feel it, so there was no use in pretending that she couldn’t. But she was loathe to acknowledge it, for nothing else, to preserve his dignity.

He was silently avoiding eye contact, and the tension in the air was thick. When she finally mustered the strength to look into his face, he suddenly felt the need to explain himself.

“These are extenuating circumstances," he bit out angrily. "Were I in my demon form, such a thing would not occur."

But though he wanted to be angry at her - for putting him in this position, and eliciting such an unwanted reaction from him - he could only be angry with himself. He was Sesshoumaru, demon or no. No matter what circumstance should befall him, he should be able to handle it with poise. He was the master of his universe, and everyone else’s for that matter. It was yet another failure to add to his ever-growing list.

But she had a completely different, though not unrelated, set of problems.

She worried her lip anxiously.

Would he impose himself now? Had his control faltered enough to demand more from her fragile body? Would she be able to stop him if he did?

When he spoke again, her fears were put to rest.

“Regardless, This One should have controlled himself more effectively.”

She wisely resisted the urge to smirk in the face of his confession.

It was probably as close to an apology as she was going to get, but it would more than suffice. Relief washed over her as she realized he was capable of some measure of restraint. And she couldn’t deny that she was somewhat mollified by his body’s reaction, no matter how unwilling it may have been.

She knew he didn’t want her, and she didn’t want him. But she couldn’t help feeling insecure that a man could be in her naked presence for an extended period of time without acknowledging in some way that she could be considered at all attractive. Even if it was Sesshoumaru.

As silly as it was, until now, the encounter had left her feeling very unpretty. At least now she knew that she wasn’t the only one who was affected.

“It’s okay. I understand,” she assured him, doing her best not to move in any way to make things worse for him.

“And don’t worry, this will remain between us.” She looked down to where their bodies touched, and smiled weakly back up at him.

“Literally.”

A long, silent moment passed following her statement.

He only stared at her, barely containing his astonishment.

Was she truly making a joke now? Was she a fool? She must not know what a dangerous situation she was in. If he had any less control, he would effortlessly flip her onto her back and remind her of her place.

Whether he had her screaming his name in terror or in pleasure did not matter. He could easily have her subdued beneath him.

He considered that in their current position, it was perhaps not the best time for such thoughts. But he couldn’t deny that he somewhat appreciated her attempting to lessen the tension. At the very least, she saw fit not to mock him.

Any other female in this situation would see it as an invitation to fondle his person. They would grab him, and stroke him, and try to entice him into entering them. They would take his biology as a compliment, and they would be wrong.

He was grateful that this particular human had no intention of laying with him, despite her body’s obvious desire to do so. For, if she were to climb on top of him in that moment and take him into her heat, he wasn’t so sure he would have the will to remove her.

After regarding her dumbly for another long moment, Sesshoumaru let out a huff that was short, quiet... and, despite himself, amused.

* * *

His cock remained hard as she lay motionless on top of him, but her own arousal was becoming impossible to ignore.

He had hoped that his turgid manhood would scare her. Frighten her rightfully at the increased threat he now posed. But to his dismay, and terrible misfortune, his pulsating length pressed against the softness of her belly seemed to only be adding fuel to the fire in her loins.

She had wisely ceased her movements. Offering her warmth via proximity, but no longer supplying friction. But every time she shifted out of comfort or something else entirely, small mewls of desperate need and frustration failed to be kept contained in her throat. It was maddening.

Occasionally she would look up at him. In those moments, he recognized the plea in her eyes. To relieve the tension. To make it stop. To offer to do what she hadn’t the courage to ask for outright. A few times, he thought she finally might. When she would open her mouth, he expected her to put voice to her obvious desires. But she would not find the strength, closing her lips before the words would come. Or perhaps it was strength she had in repressing her burning instincts. He himself was certainly having a hard enough time with it.

The last thing he wanted was to fall prey to his own instincts. He rationalized again that it was his weakened state that had rendered him so. And when she shifted again, reflexively grinding her sopping wet core against the top of his thigh; he decided enough was enough, and made his necessary concession.

If something was not done soon, he was going to take this human woman. So, while still not acceptable, he would surrender to a lesser evil.

He wedged his hand between them, and using his two fingers, began slow, forceful movements against her very swollen clit. She offered no protest; closing her eyes gratefully, almost expectantly as he rubbed pleasurable circles into her heated, wanting skin.

His cock stiffened further at the contact, and he briefly considered giving in and taking the woman right there. 

But he squashed that thought as soon as it materialized.

She hissed as she bucked into his hand, greedily demanding all he was willing to offer her. Her own hands moved to grasp tightly at his shoulders. And when she finally opened her eyes, she found him boring passionless, almost angrily into her own.

She tried to look apologetic, but the fantastic heat he was sending through her only allowed her to express her elation. She reached down to offer to relieve his own tension, but he snatched her wrist with his free hand, preventing her from grabbing onto his hot, throbbing cock.

“No,” he rasped harshly, though he made no move to halt his own movements.

Oh, how he longed for release. But he would not have it here. Not at the hands of this ningen miko. He would give her her pleasure, and temper her arousal. Then, hopefully, he would be able to stifle his own. But allowing her please him in such a way was a step too far for him to travel. And he admitted to himself; if he were to go down such a shameful road, it may in fact lead them to cross even more egregious lines. He may be weak at the moment, but he still had his pride.

She wouldn’t argue. She was really in no position to. All she could do was pant and moan, as she ground her dripping sex into his skillful, talented hand.

“Oh," she whispered wantonly, squeezing her eyes shut once more. "oh...fuck, yes...” 

He increased the pressure against her tender peak, and he knew she was nearly at her end. The tension had been building up for hours. Hell, she had been ready to explode on him well before he gave her any aid. He was relieved when she finally shuddered, announcing her release with a strangled cry.

Bracing herself against him, she rode out the aftershocks as she came down trembling.

She collapsed into him momentarily, but shame filled her instantly, and she forced herself to meet his stare.

“I’m sorry,” she panted breathlessly. "... and, thank you."

He looked back at her coolly, only a hint of ire in his gaze. He was disgusted at having to go through with such an act, but at least she had the decency to be grateful. And ashamed.

“Perhaps now you may focus on warming us, instead of admiring This Sesshoumaru’s wretched human form.”

Apology in her eyes - and a hint of sorrow too - she only answered by giving a shy nod, and smoothing her hands lightly over his shoulders. She knew he didn’t want to do what he did. And she felt bad for not being able to keep herself as reined in as he had. But she was appreciative of his efforts. She only wished that humanity didn’t sicken him the way it did.

Though still affected by her movements, and her nudity pressed against him; he found it much easier to control himself now that her arousal was not so palpable.

She was still somewhat affected by the proximity, but it was not as distracting as it had been before. She could now continue without constantly enduring the images her mind was supplying. Images of him hovering over her, while she writhed in ecstasy beneath him...

Damn.

* * *

Not long after he managed to will himself down, Kagome allowed sleep to claim her once more.

Her comfort in his presence was... concerning.

Maybe it was the promise she had wrested from him to not meet her death at his hands. Or maybe her in depth knowledge of his distaste for her species led her to believe he would make no move to touch her.

Either way, he couldn’t help but feel that her confidence was horribly misplaced.

Despite now being human, he could still easily overpower her. Her only defense against him previously was the ability to purify youkai, and now the attack would do her no service. Not against him.

He could fuck her, or kill her - or both - and none would be the wiser. None need ever know about the indignities suffered in this cave on this night. And he hoped to the gods that no one ever would.

Did she now believe him to be weak? Did she think that; just because he was human, he had softened enough to feel sympathetic to the rest of them?

Possibly.

Or had she been more perceptive than he had given her credit for? Despite being enemies more often than not, was she able to ascertain that he had indeed lived his life by a strict code of honor? Was she able to recognize the convictions chiseled into his bones, if not by his forbears, then etched there by his own hand?

Also possible.

Regardless, he was willing to look past the possible insult at the moment.

Whatever foolish notion allowed her to relax enough to sleep in his company; in that moment, he was grateful for it.

Detaching himself from her grasp and turning his back on her, he relaxed his control and let himself grow hard once more.

He had spoken the truth to her earlier. If he were not trapped in this weak human form, such a thing would never have been allowed to occur.

But the stress of recent events...

The softness of her form pressed so intimately against his...

The way her body reacted to him at just the slightest exposure, and how it called to his to react in turn...

It was too much.

He didn’t know how much longer they would be here like this. He was warm enough now, and once his clothes were dry, he would finally be relieved of this humiliation. But Jaken would be back any minute, and he was in no way eager to test the limits of his mortal version of restraint. It was now or never.

Looking over his shoulder to ensure she was still asleep; he lowered his hand to grasp himself tightly, and began to provide himself some much-needed relief.

He normally would not engage in such shameful behavior. But this form was still very new to him. And he didn’t appear to have the experience necessary to command the actions of his body with much authority.

Human bodies seemed to be not only physically weak, but weak of will and reason as well. He would master himself, if he was to remain as such for any length of time. But the stress of this situation, and the proximity of the soft, supple, and apparently keyed up woman beside him had admittedly taken its toll.

As he tugged on his cock, he did his best to keep his movements from alerting the girl to his actions. He rubbed his thumb across his tip, smearing the precum around his head, and he had to prevent a pleased whine from escaping his throat.

Despite the pleasurable rush he felt at his own attentions; he wanted to make this quick, so as not to be caught. His weakened senses could no longer alert him to the auras of others. If she were to wake suddenly, he would not be able to detect it.

This had nothing to do with her, nothing to do with desire. This was simply maintenance, nothing more.

He was thinking of whatever he could to speed this process along. Voluptuous demonesses from his past... Perfectly proportioned goddesses he had bedded... Anything but the tiny human woman laying naked behind him.

Definitely not her.

He pumped himself into his fist, marveling at the difference. His human cock felt more sensitive, and easier to persuade. He wouldn’t say it felt better... more like simpler. His impressive stamina was reduced to nearly nothing, but perhaps his long-repressed encounter had encouraged his release - which was approaching faster than he had anticipated.

He trembled as he came, releasing a shaky breath as he emptied himself into his hand. Silently righting himself with a few large, needy gasps; he relished in the heat of his cock as it pulsed desperately in his grip. He allowed himself to bask in the satisfying afterglow of his pleasure before giving himself a mental shake to recover from the sensation.

Now he was left with the issue of what to do with his essence. Looking around for somewhere to put it, he had no desirable options. Their clothing was nearly dry by the fire, and they would need every stitch of it soon. He lifted the edge of the sleeping bag and inconspicuously wiped his hand off on the underside of the material, folding it back over when he was through.

He turned to lay on his back, much more comfortable now that he had taken the edge off of an already overly strained situation.

Allowing his eyes to slide to the miko, he was pleased to confirm that she had not stirred at all during his actions.

What was he going to do now? He was ashamed to admit that he hadn’t the slightest idea. Since the moment he transformed; he had been put to trial, with not a moment reprieve to get his bearings.

 _‘Rin!’_ he remembered with a start, and forced himself to calm at the memory.

There was nothing he could do right now. Right now, he needed his strength. If he was to be of any help to her in this form, he could not squander this opportunity to rest and recharge.

As Kagome began to shiver; he turned to face her, and gathered her into his arms.

He could not ignore what she had done for him. Her assistance in this had been paramount, and he would not deny that he owed her a debt.

In promising not to kill her - or her friends - they were supposed to be even. But until he was tempted to do so, it simply did not feel like enough.

Her trembling subsided as he used his hands to rub warming patterns down her arms. This time; the proximity had no effect on him, so he allowed himself to rub her more vigorously.

And what about her? What were her plans for when this was all over? Would she return to her camp, and leave him to his devices? He hoped that she would, but he also knew that this miko had a way of inserting herself into troublesome situations.

It wasn’t like he had any grand plans of his own, to his great misfortune. Hopefully the new day would meet him with a clearer head.

A yawn forced itself through his features, and he allowed himself to indulge in it. He couldn’t remember ever doing such a thing when not in his true form.

He pulled her tighter to him, making them more comfortable as he encased her in his protective hold. The last thing he remembered thinking was how her hair tickled his neck, and his eyelids became heavy shortly before drifting off to sleep himself.


	4. The Cats out of the Bag, and the Dog as Well

When Kagome awoke, the first thing she noticed was the warm body beneath her in her sleeping bag. She allowed herself to revel in the comfort she found in his strong arms for a moment, and let the smallest of smiles to betray her relief as she noted the soft, even breaths he drew and released against her neck. He was out like a light.

The normal Sesshoumaru had little need for rest, but this one had been through the ringer. Weakened by his human state, and brought back from the brink of death; he would need his rest to gain the strength he required to survive the harsh cold night. His body needed to heal, but as warm as it now appeared to be, it looked like he was off to a good start.

Previously unaffected by anyone or anything in his path, human Sesshoumaru would need to adhere to the laws of biology when walking around in his newly acquired skin. He would probably need help from a friend to see him through this, but it looked like she was all he had for the moment. She decided she would take on the task of looking after the former daiyoukai, if not only for the fact that it was her thoughtless wish that had rendered him to such a sorry state.

She blushed as she recalled their intimate actions the night before. She decided it was best left forgotten, and she assumed he would take no issue with her decision.

Confident that he was warm enough to survive a moment on his own, Kagome gently untangled herself from his embrace to appraise his clothing. It had completely dried with the aid of the still roaring fire, so she had no qualms with grabbing her own clothing- long ago dry- and dressing herself with haste.

Jaken had the decency not to look her way as she did so. He simply sat by the fire, poking the fresh log he had added with a stick he had brought for the task. Ah-Un was sleeping soundly in the far corner, also well worn out from their exciting day that had ultimately proved successful.

Kagome realized in that moment that if either of the three saviors had not acted as quickly as they had, Sesshoumaru would likely now be dead.

When she had her coat zipped up, she reached into the pocket to ensure her treasure still remained.

She breathed a sigh of relief as she wrapped her fingers around her completed Shikon. Pulling it from the pocket, she regarded it a long moment with new eyes.

She was straining to find any difference in its appearance. She was pleased to find there was none, if only to affirm that she had not ignored any glaring changes after her wish.

It had been her wish, hadn’t it? But the jewel was still here. Wasn’t it supposed to disappear after a wish was made? Maybe because her wish was far from pure, the jewel would remain. She cringed at the thought of blowing her duty so mindlessly.

It was still whole, and still here. Would the Shikon permit her to make another wish? It was worth a shot.

Sliding her gaze to Jaken to ensure she wasn’t being watched, she grabbed her jewel tightly in front of her and whispered her new wish.

“I wish Sesshoumaru was demon again.”

She waited breathlessly for something to happen... A glowing light, his transformation, anything.

But alas, nothing did.

“So do I.”

Quickly, she shoved the jewel back into her pocket and turned to face Sesshoumaru’s vassal.

Now fully clothed; she made her way to the kappa who was still fussing over his fire, and took a seat beside him. He wouldn’t take his eyes off of the flames as he poked, as it made it much easier to bestow rare praise on one who was not his lord.

“Without your aid, he would never have made it. This will not be forgotten.”

She appreciated the acknowledgement, but couldn’t find it in her to smile.

“What happened to him?”

“We don’t know. One moment he was himself. The next...”

She wasn’t referring to his human form. She had a good idea of what happened there.

“Who did that to his face?”

Jaken was hesitant to respond. Lord Sesshoumaru wouldn’t appreciate him divulging such details. But he conceded that the miko had thus far only been interested in his well-being. Still...

“Did he know him?”

“It wasn’t a ‘ _him_.’”

She looked on incredulously.

“He got beat up by a girl?!”

Jaken scoffed.

“Of course not!”

She wrinkled her brow in confused irritation.

“You just said that it wasn’t a him!”

Jaken closed his eyes and nodded. A snarl somehow playing at his beak.

“Because it wasn’t. It was a ‘ _them_.’”

“Two on one? So not fair,” she offered, rubbing her hands and holding them closer to the fire.

“Try five. Five demons.”

That was more like it. Even as a human, she guessed it would still take a small army to take Sesshoumaru down.

“Who were they?”

“A tiger clan. Unscrupulous scoundrels! They took advantage of milord’s human state, and attacked him.”

He was jumped? By a clan? For what purpose? Sure, Sesshoumaru wasn’t exactly the friendly type. But he wasn’t the kind of guy to go around picking fights for no reason. She wondered what could have warranted such a brutal beat down.

Maybe it was payback. Perhaps his past was had come back to haunt him, and demons who had been wronged by him previously saw their opportunity for retaliation. She didn’t particularly admire it, but she could understand. The guy sure had a way of getting under your skin...

“He had fared quite well when it was only three. But then, the others came. None who are human could have found victory at the hands of such an uneven assault!”

She bit her cheek to prevent herself from pointing out the obvious. Powerful demons battling against a simple human was more than stilted. Even the strongest of humans couldn’t compete against the born strength of a demon, and it wouldn’t be fair to expect such a thing. It actually served him right for testing mere mortals against himself, and condemning them as weak in comparison. She wanted to smile at the irony.

“They stripped him of his swords. And took Rin.”

Rin! How could she have forgotten? Whatever joy she took in Sesshoumaru receiving his due washed away at the mention of the sweet little girl she had grown to adore. Sesshoumaru was her protector, and his current shortcomings would put her in great danger.

“They have Rin?! What do they want with her?”

Jaken grew even more solemn, and closed his eyes tightly to keep his rage in check.

“I do not know. I fear the worst...”

This was bad. This was very bad. They needed to find her soon if there was any hope of recovering her alive. Without knowledge of where the clan had gone to, they would need to retrace their steps.

“How did he get in the river?”

“They forced him through the ice. He traveled quite a distance, for a very long time. Ah-Un managed to extract him, but by then, he was rendered immobile.”

Kagome looked to the sleeping human just feet from them. If it was as Jaken said, Rin was in trouble. Sesshoumaru likely wanted to get to her as soon as he was able, and there was no way she wasn’t going to help. This was her fault, after all. But she decided it would be wise to omit that information until it became necessary. For her sake, she hoped it never would.

“We will get her back. I promise.”

Jaken finally looked to the miko, traces of a smile finally visible on his face.

“Thank you.”

* * *

He was thrashing as he came to, and Kagome started as Sesshoumaru pushed himself up into a seated position as he returned to the waking world.

He had heard that humans experienced ‘dreams,’ and he found he didn’t care for them. Images of the worst he feared Rin may be enduring at the hands of her captors were brutally fresh in his mind, and as furious as he was at his traitorous brain for supplying him such images; he felt great relief at knowing they were not real. At least as far as he knew for certain.

Snapping his head at the miko beside the fire, he hated even more how weak his senses had become in his new form. As a demon, he could see those around him without looking their way. His youki gave accurate reports on distances and demeanors, and his scent provided him with intentions. Now, as a human, he relied on his eyes to confirm that what which he was uncertain... which appeared to be everything.

Seeing the two full-demons asleep near one another on the opposite side of the cave; he fixed his focus on Kagome, who was now completely dressed.

“Your clothes are dry. You can put them on, if you are warm enough.”

As if he needed permission from her to do anything, but he withheld his retort; instead rising awkwardly from the strange blanket, and making his way over.

She turned her gaze from him, and he was grateful. She had no right to admire him. She had taken enough liberties as it was. And though his senses were dulled, he was irked at the absence of a blush from her innocent features as she looked away. He supposed that they had already experienced deeper intimacies, to his chagrin. Why would she bashful now?

After a moment of silks rustling, she regarded him once more. His lower half was covered, but topless he displayed the gashes and bruises she had already seen close up. The one at his shoulder was particularly gruesome, and she winced at the sight. It was puffing alarmingly, and becoming infected.

He probably didn’t know what he was in for. Demons could heal at breakneck speeds, so he likely never had to care much for any wound he had sustained in the past... save for an arm.

“Wait,” she demanded as he made to cover himself in his haori.

He stilled at her request, though he wasn’t sure why, as she made her way over to him; earning a skeptical glare for her efforts.

He allowed her to approach him, and appraise his deep wound.

“It’s infected. You will need to clean it, and cover it, or it's going to get worse.”

He ignored the tingle he felt as her fingers dusted over his gash in a careful, featherlight touch. This damn mortal skin proved much more reactive than the apparently thicker hide of his youkai form, but he refused to betray that to her.

“I feel fine,” he informed her, but she was already rummaging through her backpack.

He watched her for a moment, but corrected his line of sight quickly once his mind began supplying him images of that form from the not so distant past. Though he longed to forget; his human mind was there to remind him of what lie beneath those warm layers of fabric she currently donned, and how soft and pliant she felt nestled his hard, yet broken form. Squirming, and practically writhing on top of him, as she put her very life in danger at just the chance of saving his own.

It reminded him of how reactive she herself had been; moaning and moistening as she failed to keep herself fully in check. How; if he had been properly inclined, he could have easily persuaded her to open herself up to him as he took all he desired for the sake of both of their pleasure. And while she bent over her overstuffed pack of mysteries, he could imagine himself moving up behind her, and placing himself right-

_Stop!_

He visibly winced as he at once commanded his thoughts into safer waters, and willed his newly excited manhood back at bay.

This was proving to be a most troublesome development.

He never recalled having an issue controlling his baser instincts around the presence of a female. That he was reacting so strongly to a simple human woman - _Inuyasha's wench_ , no less - was disconcerting to say the least.

He hoped that it had more to do with him being weakened than being human. For if this was what mortal males had to contend with on a regular basis, his mettle was going to be tested even more harshly than he had initially predicted.

After a moment more of digging, she finally emerged with two bottles; one filled with water, and the other a strange yellow substance.

He remained passive as she returned to him, and used the water to remove blood and dirt from his wound.

He could contain his discomfort at the attention, but couldn’t restrain the hiss he released when, without preamble, she emptied a generous portion of the yellow liquid right into the gash. He was no stranger to pain, but the sensation of it so easily induced by such a miniscule action actually caused him to marvel at it.

Noticing his reaction, she apologized. “Sorry!" she grimaced. "I should have said it would sting. But that means it’s working.”

He wouldn’t react to her attempts to assure him, but he did allow her to proceed.

He became startled when he looked down again to see his wound suddenly bubbling from the inside. Embarrassingly, he was forced to grit his teeth in pain as he appeared to foam from the inside out, and it felt like every raw nerve inside the open wound had been burned with a hot iron.

He refused to show any more discomfort than he already had, and eventually his patience was rewarded as the bubbles subsided, along with the unpleasant sensation.

He was startled anew, however, when in their wake; he saw that his once-perfect pale skin had been horribly stained a hideous yellow. He instantly scowled, and fixed the audacious culprit with his most threatening glare.

Her answering sheepish grin was hardly penance for the atrocity she'd committed. Neither was the large bandage she used to cover the offensive sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been wanting to rewrite the ending to this chapter for a long time, and i finally got around to it! The last few paragraphs are different you noticed any change XD


	5. Small Victories

Sesshoumaru listened with half an ear as the miko before him prattled on about injury aftercare. Ointments and bandages. Cleaning and sterilization. Things he never before had to pay any mind to. Things he should not ever have to. But that appeared to be where things were for him. Currently.

As she continued seemingly endlessly going on about the prudent manner to handle his damaged form, he found that he hated this situation even more. But his hate traversed beyond his unfortunate predicament. Beyond his fragile body, and its limitations. Beyond all that he lost, and was in danger of losing. Beyond his unexplained circumstances, and the complete absence of justice.

As the miko did her best to prepare him for what lay ahead, he found that he simply hated _her_.

He hated how she regarded him as one of her own. He hated how she looked upon him not in fear, but with sympathy and concern.

But most of all, he hated how willing she was to lend him her aid. Despite everything he had done to her, everything he had meant to do; all was forgotten as she was apparently taking it upon herself to do whatever she could to see him through this crisis.

He should not need her help. He certainly didn’t want it. But nonetheless, here she was; letting bygones be bygones as she put their checkered past aside to lend him the aid he so desperately needed.

But letting the past be forgotten meant letting he himself be forgotten. All that he was. He, Sesshoumaru, in all his greatness, was a thing of the past. And she was all too willing to brush aside his attempts on her life, and on the lives of those she loved. His vocal distaste of her species mattered not to her anymore, because now he was one of them.

He was no longer fearsome Demon Lord; the Western Inu-Daiyouki, King of all Demons. No.

Now, he was simply Sesshoumaru. Pathetic human. Weak mortal. Comrade in need. _No!_

He would not be those things. He could not. Not while he had an ounce of fight left in him.

He would have to make her see that. He would make all of them see it.

Despite his current form, Sesshoumaru was not to be trifled with. Not to be pitied. Not to be mourned.

And he would go to any measures to show her the folly of her ridiculous kindness. Of her baseless compassion.

Because most of all, and beyond all else, he hated that he needed it.

But just because he desperately needed help, did not mean that he would accept it.

His hate only festered as she continued on, though he kept it tightly contained.

“... at least twice a day. Sesshoumaru? Sesshoumaru, are you listening to me?”

Finished adjusting his haori, he reached for his yellow obi. He had elected to forgo the bone-plated armor, as it proved far too heavy to be practical. Though in need of protection now more than ever, there would be a good deal of traveling in his immediate future. And as he had been relieved of his swords, he did not foresee involving himself in any battles which would require the cumbersome attire. He would need to find a method of combat which was more suited to his present state. Until then, it was in his best interest to travel light.

Determined to put an end to her meddling, and cease its accompanying, annoyingly compassionate cadence, he fixed her with a condescending glare. And with no swords left to fight with; he aimed for the jugular, using the final weapon left in his arsenal. His tongue.

Luckily, it often proved to be his most effective tool. Particularly where she was concerned.

“It is my hope that you will not run off to boast of our encounter to any who will listen. I do not wish it to be known what indignities I have endured at the hands of a mortal woman.”

As she registered his statement; the disbelief on her features turned quickly into righteous indignation, and Sesshoumaru was quite pleased at the change.

This woman appeared to need reminding of exactly who now stood before her, and his muscles relaxed slightly in relief as that recognition came crashing down on her in an instant.

That was much better. He greatly preferred her ire over her pity.

Kagome, however, was beside herself with rage.

How dare he speak to her that way?

Had she not just spent the night seeing to his comfort? Saving his life?

This demon- _former_ demon- had tried to kill her and all of her friends on several occasions. And the few times he had not made attempts on their lives, he insulted and degraded them.

And even still, despite all that, she took time out of her chaotic life to make sure he was okay.

She took on the demeaning task of disrobing them both, and flew way out of her comfort zone as she pressed herself intimately against him for hours to keep him alive. She had put herself in great danger, from the cold and from his fury, without even a second thought. And now, he had the gall to be offended? To be disgusted? To worry about his precious reputation? The nerve of this guy!

But then, she didn’t know why she expected anything different.

“You think I want anyone to know?” she shrieked incredulously, stepping closer as her fists balled in frustration. He turned his focus to appraise his blunt fingernails, illustrating his complete lack of interest - or concern - at her attempts at intimidation.

“If Inuyasha ever found out, he would probably never want to touch me!”

Yes, she figured both of them would be perfectly fine with never letting the hanyou in on the particulars regarding Sesshoumaru’s recovery. But still, he didn’t have to be such a jerk about it.

“What a shame that would be,” he intoned sarcastically.

His lip curled into something resembling a smile. But no smile Kagome had ever seen before had been lent such a sinister air. The sight caused her to flinch, and she was tempted to retreat a half step.

“You would be denied the incapable fumblings of an inexperienced half-breed.”

The hatred in his eyes multiplied at the mention of his brother. After giving her a haughty up and down, he dismissed her by turning his back in search of his boots.

Retrieving them from the floor, he took a seat on the makeshift bench near the fire and began putting them on.

She fumed as she watched him, and found she couldn’t contain her retort.

“At least he is capable of love.”

All of her compassion was forgotten in a heartbeat. It normally would take more than a few cruel words to strip Kagome of her kindness, but it had been a very rough night. She had barely slept at all, and when she had been able to get any rest, it was on frazzled nerves. Draping her naked body over a certified killer wasn’t exactly the best way to relax, in her educated opinion.

She bent slightly to berate him, though his attention remained on his footwear.

“Have you ever felt love for anyone besides yourself?” she demanded. “Do you think anyone has ever loved you? Inuyasha has experienced both.”

When he finally graced her with his attention once more, the cruel smile at his lips returned full force. And something in his violet eyes had her paralyzed with anticipatory dread.

He turned the tables, firing back a few rhetoricals of his own.

“Has Inuyasha known what your breasts feel like pressed intimately against his naked body?”

She recoiled instantly at the bold question, far too startled by it to respond. He relished her embarrassment.

“Has he experienced how wet you become? Laying on top of him, as you try unsuccessfully to keep your desire for him in check?” He rose now to meet her terrified features with his taunting ones. He knew how badly she had wanted him last night. Just the memory of it made his stomach turn.

He also knew that the hanyou had never taken her. Never even tried. For if he had, he surely could have experienced her by now.

“Has he known how your timid, inexperienced hands feel as they caress every inch of him? The softness of your virgin body, pressed tightly against his hard, throbbing cock?”

He got closer, and lowered to a near whisper. "Does he know how easily you climax, when coaxed by his own skilled fingers?"

She didn’t want to look at him, but she was too shocked to look away. Incredulous and unmoving in the face of his harsh - if not accurate - assessment.

His smirk returned passive, as he turned from her once again.

“It would seem that I know more than he in that regard.”

He was cold, and ruthless. And she was instantly made painfully aware of that fact. Whatever progress she had thought they had made in his rescue had been removed in the blink of an eye, as he reminded her of his true nature with devastating precision. And he continued, attempting to dig in further.

“Yes. We both know the love he has enjoyed at the hands of the clay priestess. The love he held for her. The love he still holds. You believe his feelings for you have nothing to do with your resemblance?”

His words were calculated. Intentional. His motive was to level her with that which would cause her the most anguish. Stick in the sorest of spots. He knew her weaknesses, her insecurities. And he zeroed in on them unforgivingly, and relentlessly. Still, he did not stop.

“She was not his first. Did he tell you that?” She hugged herself tighter, as she allowed him to continue on with his brutal assault.

“This One recalls a demoness in Inuyasha’s youth. How she lamented his inability to give her pleasure as he blindly rooted beneath her clothing. How grateful she was to finally find release as I mercifully took her.”

Her own self-pity was forgotten at the mention of her friend’s plight. She felt awful for him in that moment, and her sorrow for Inuyasha only barely outshined her fury at his cruel older brother.

“You stole Inuyasha’s girlfriend?”

“I stole nothing,” he scoffed, a bit more insistent than he intended. He corrected himself quickly, adopting his mocking tone once more.

“She gave herself to me. She longed to feel pleasure at my hands. She begged for it.” Kagome’s glare hardened as she forced herself to meet his eyes. He answered her unspoken question with disgusted amusement.

“I had no desire for her, and I considered it a gift to lend her my pity. She expressed great relief at knowing my touch.”

She wanted to set him straight. To tell him exactly what she thought of his ‘touch.’ But she refused to be goaded into childish, hurtful taunting. She wasn’t cruel like he was. She only managed to partially force down her upset, and responded through her teeth.

“If you didn’t want her, then why did you take her?” she at least attempted to understand.

He was trying to make her jealous. But all she could feel was sadness on her friend’s behalf.

“Because she belonged to my brother. I will take everything he considers to be his.” He took a meaningful pause to intensify his gaze. “Everything.”

He was trying to scare her. He wanted her fear. She refused to give it to him. He knew her soft spots, but she also knew his. She strengthened her resolve as she stiffly replied.

“Let me venture a guess.”

He was displeased that her tone adopted a measure of mockery. “No demoness would be willing to lower herself to lie with a human. No matter how attractive he may be.”

He wanted to sneer at her assessment, but he would not react. He allowed her to continue. He welcomed her hatred. This was how it should be.

And she didn’t disappoint. She taunted him, passionless.

“If you ever want to know pleasure again, you had better learn to be nice to human women. Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed yourself in your hand last night. It will be the only pleasure you will receive.”

He forced his smirk to remain, but his eyes hardened noticeably. He held no regret in his actions, though he hid his surprise at her acknowledgement. He was certain she had been asleep.

“When you were a demon, you could treat any being however you wished. None could beat you then. But now, you are only human. Even a half breed like Inuyasha could take you down. So you better change your demeanor.” He finally turned away from her; his go-to form of dismissal. But she wasn’t done. She continued addressing his back.

“You better not run your smart mouth if you don’t have the means to defend yourself. That’s what happened to your face, isn’t it? You couldn’t help yourself from insulting those who could out match you.”

She would get no response, but talk of his fight reminded her of something else. Something much more important.

“Look. I know you don’t like me.” His scoff interrupted her, but she would proceed. “And this probably won’t shock you; I don’t like you much either. But Rin is out there somewhere.”

Mention of his ward startled him back to base, and he couldn’t prevent the brief panic as he seemed to just remember the little girl in that moment.

“And you may be too much of an _ass_ to admit it, but I know you care about her.”

Kagome’s face softened slightly, but lost none of its determination. It was hard to tell, but she thought she saw a softening of his features as well, if only for a second.

“And I know that you hate humans. Allying with us is probably very unappealing to you. But I don’t exactly see any of your demon buddies lining up to help you find her.”

She was right.

He’d had servants. And soldiers. And even cronies to do his bidding. But that had been before. None knew of his predicament, save for those present in this cave. And the tigers who handed him his punishment.

But even if he had let any of his demon acquaintances know of this undesirable situation - and he absolutely had no intentions of doing so - he doubted any would come to aid him.

He had no friends to speak of. And any who would serve him, would only do so out of fear of him. And he was not one to be feared at the moment.

He was sure that any who would come to his side now, would only do so out of fear of what may become of them when his youki was reinstated. If it ever was.

The odds were greater that any demon to find him in this form would take their opportunity to see him vanquished, as the tiger clan had. It would be their only chance to defeat him, and the cowards would take it.

No, he was alone in this; save for Ah-Un and Jaken. At least, he used to be.

For whatever reason, despite all that has happened, this miko would offer all that she could for him.

No, not for him. For Rin.

For Rin, she would swallow her contempt, and render her aid.

And as much as he loathed it, for Rin, he would accept. He had no other choice.

Because he knew, that alone, he would not be able to save her. Not anymore.

“You want to be a jerk? Fine. You have to live with yourself. But Rin needs our help. And if I’m going to be able to help you, you are going to have to work with me.”

She rounded on him then, demanding his full attention.

“Can you do that? Can you check your fucking attitude long enough to find your little girl? Because I care about her too. I would work with the devil himself if it would get her home safe. So please, for her sake, spare me the evil brother routine. She needs you. And you may not like it, but you need me. You need all of us. And we are going to help you. For her.”

Again, she was right. He wished it wasn’t so, but she was.

If he wanted to get to Rin quickly, he would have to acquire some help. And it appeared at the moment, the miko was all he had.

Sesshoumaru held Kagome’s commanding stare a long moment.

Finally, and resignedly, he simply nodded once.

Relieved; she let out a pent-up sigh, and turned to face the mouth of the cave.

The blizzard was finally over, and the sun was beginning to improve the temperature dramatically.

Soon, they could take their leave.

The sound of his stomach growling drew her attention back from the outside. She kept her comments to herself about that being the only growling he was likely now capable of.

She made her way back over to her yellow pack, and returned brandishing two granola bars for them each. Her arm remained suspended as she handed him his ration, as he made no move to receive her generous offer.

“I do not eat human food.”

Another, more insistent growl from him elicited her smirk.

“You do now.”

Narrowing his eyes, he grabbed the bars harshly and without thanks.

But when he wrested the first one from its packaging and tested the edge, it was not a moment more before it was consumed in entirety, and he was on to the next.

She expected no gratitude from him, but was pleased with her progress nonetheless.

She had a feeling that when it came to Sesshoumaru, she was going to need to find solace in small victories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone’s overcompensating for feeling inadequate as a human. Hang in there Kags!


	6. Accusations Galore

Sesshoumaru was lucky that Kagome had decided to pack an extra-large hooded sweatshirt in her bag, though he certainly didn’t feel it. Her attire was doing its job in keeping her plenty warm, but the hoodie was and afterthought in case of an emergency. And this situation absolutely qualified.

Sesshoumaru, being the obstinate ex-dog demon that he was, took some convincing to actually don it. But she insisted that her pained efforts to see him warmed would not go to waste. The previous night seemed to deplete a good deal of the fight in him for the time being, so he finally relented and accepted. If nothing else, to just get this show on the road.

The skies were now clear, so it was finally time to make their move. A few more granola bars each would serve as their breakfast, before packing up their little camp and hopping on their trusty steed.

The ride seemed to take longer than the night before. Kagome attributed that to the dragon’s sluggishness this morning. She could understand. With Sesshoumaru’s life on the line, Ah-Un was properly motivated to get them to the cave quickly. Not to mention, they had spent most of the night hunting down wood to keep their master alive. She hoped he appreciated what they had done for him. Jaken too.

She spared the imp a glance from her spot on their transportation. Though they were high and travelling very fast, none of the passengers were touching. She hoped Ah-Un took it as a show of confidence in keeping them safely on board as they flew, but it likely had more to do with the human couple’s need for space. After what they had been through, both were very thankful for some independence from one another. The two had probably had enough contact to get them through this lifetime. She was relieved when the clearing by the bone eater’s well finally came into view.

Watching Inuyasha’s emotions run the gamut was interesting to say the least.

Upon seeing the dragon coming his way, he was defensive.

When he noticed Kagome up there, he became fearful.

But upon finally recognizing his brother in his new human state, a confounded puzzlement washed over his countenance. Briefly.

But it was quick to give way to delighted mockery and taunting, once he was briefed of the situation. Kagome chose to omit her part in the transformation. Instead, lumping herself in with the others that had no idea what happened to him.

Really, Inuyasha looked like he had never had a better time in his life as when he found himself in a position to ridicule his haughty older brother. For his part, Sesshoumaru remained silent. He had expected no less, and refused to let the half-demon affect his still stoic façade. Instead, he allowed Kagome to act as his representation. This was all her idea, after all.

And once those plans were voiced to Inuyasha, he finally was able to settle on rage. And stayed there.

“No fucking way!”

“Inuyasha-”

“No. I don’t care what happened to him. After all he’s done, he don’t just get to come in here and ask us for help.”

The rest of her group had been there for her arrival. And completely taken aback by the confusing situation they found themselves in, chose to remain quiet and let their acting leaders hash this out.

Kagome had expected this reaction from him. But by now, she was well versed in talking some sense into her excitable companion. She knew it wouldn’t be an easy sell, but she met his defiance with her patented calm reasoning.

“He didn’t ask. I offered.”

“And why the hell’d you do that?”

Tetsusaiga resting over his shoulder, Inuyasha kept stealing glances at his half-brother. It couldn’t be helped. He really did make a sight. Particularly with the abuse he appeared to have endured. He was dying to find out what had happened to him. If for no other reason, then to track down the assailants and shake their hands.

Sesshoumaru in his current form was no longer a threat. But his wariness around his brother was a hard habit to break.

“Can I talk to you? In private?” Kagome was polite in issuing her command in the form of a question.

The rest of Sesshoumaru’s crew stayed silent as well. Taking their cues from their lord, they were uncertain how to behave in the situation they found themselves in. If Sesshoumaru were being perfectly honest, he was not so sure himself.

After another long look at the offending group who had delivered his miko, Inuyasha finally turned his attention back on her.

“Keh.”

They walked several paces off in the field. Still very much in view of the others, though out of earshot of the humans.

Facing each other fully, he refused to let her start.

“Ain’t no way I’m gonna let that bastard travel with us. I should kill him right now. Matter of fact, give me one good reason why I shouldn’t.”

She was too tired for squabbling. Sesshoumaru had tested the last of her patience this morning, and she had no interest in going around the block with his brother. She fixed him with a determined glare and dove right in.

“Because you aren’t a coward. And if you killed him now, while he isn’t himself, that would be cowardly.”

They really were so alike. Easily goaded. Obnoxiously stubborn. And proud to a fault. Neither could admit to being wrong, but a challenge to their ego would always be met. It was the most effective way to get them to do something they found distasteful.

But first, they would have to chip away at the goodness of the other.

“It’s what he would do.”

“You don’t believe that.”

He looked at her as if she’d sprouted another head. How could she defend that prick? And why would she?

“Why not?”

“Because, he has honor.”

He turned from her dismissively.

“Feh-”

But she was going on the offensive, and stayed within his line of sight.

“There were plenty of times he could have killed you. When you were in your demon form, he had the chance. And he walked away, because you weren’t yourself. Because he is honorable. And so are you.”

She remembered the occasion clearly. The fear she felt when Sesshoumaru subdued his fully demonic brother was more crippling than it had ever been. She was certain he would take the opportunity to finally kill him in that moment. She was well aware that he had been equipped to do so.

But when he stayed his hand, and walked away from that battle; that was the day she had begun seeing Sesshoumaru in a completely different light.

He had said he didn’t want to kill him when he wasn’t himself. But she could recall instances before that when he had refused to land the killing blow. And she took notice after that day of how the fights between them would always end.

Oh, there would be pain. But the goal seemed to be to inflict the most damage without taking the other out of the game entirely. Cruel mockery was just another form that the non-fatal attacks would assume.

But Sesshoumaru had even gone as far as to inform her how to bring him back from the brink. And the relief and gratitude she felt towards the older inu had been monumental.

She noticed too, that after that day, Sesshoumaru had stopped trying to relieve Inuyasha of his birthright.

There were days when he would appear to be making a play for it. But she had come to realize that each of those encounters had ended with Inuyasha unlocking some mystery of his sword. He always came out stronger for their little tiffs. She wondered if that had been the demon lord’s intention all along.

Maybe he was trying to help. Maybe he really did care. He just had a dreadful way of going about it.

“And now, we are going to grant him the same courtesy.”

It was a demand. One he met with a defiant glare as he plead his case.

“He would never help us like this.”

He was probably right. Even if Sesshoumaru had aided Inuyasha in discovering his strengths, it was obvious that the two did not get along. And if it was she who was kidnapped by tiger demons, say, on the night of the new moon, she very much doubted Sesshoumaru would help his brother get her back. But Inuyasha had something his brother did not. Compassion.

“Maybe not. But you are better than him, and this is your chance to prove it.”

Attacking the other’s superiority was always a successful route to go down. So was the chance for one-upmanship.

It looked like she was starting to get through, so she tried to appeal to his good side. And his ego.

“Sure, you could probably kill him right now. I figure a lot of demons could. And that’s exactly why we need to help him.”

But he remained unswayed. His face adopted a grave scowl that caught her off guard.

“You don’t owe him nothing, Kagome.” He eyed her suspiciously. “Or do you?”

She eyed him back, mirroring his gaze.

“What do you mean?”

He paused a moment, and then finally asked the question that had been fighting to stay buried in his throat.

“You fuck him?”

“Inuyasha!”

He knew he was risking being sat, but he couldn’t hold back. He gestured to the backpack she had left with their friends in the grass, and the bag that was strapped to it.

“His nose might be broken, but mine is sharp as ever. What’d you guys do in that sleeping bag of yours?”

She tried not to sputter as she attempted to form a response. She was somewhere between furious at his audacity, and mortified at his accuracy.

“I don’t-”

“You were both naked," he continued. "You were both aroused. I can smell his... I can smell _him_. If you didn’t fuck him, you wanna tell me exactly what happened?”

He could scent that? She knew his nose was good, but...

It was actually kind of impressive. And terribly annoying.

It really wasn’t any of his business. Not that there was much business to speak of. But she wouldn’t have him thinking she had done something like that.

“It’s not what you think," she insisted defensively. "He was nearly frozen. I had to get him warm.”

He fixed her with a pointed, condescending glare.

“And the best way to do that was to fuck him?”

“Sit.”

The others looked their way as he face-planted into the earth. And she couldn’t tell from her distance, but she thought she saw Sesshoumaru smirk.

“Nothing happened. He was cold. I warmed him up." Then, off-handedly, she offered, "He probably had a wet dream." No need to go into the details. “But I assure you, it had nothing to do with me. He hates me. He made that perfectly clear.”

He pulled himself out of his hole, dusting off dirt as he rose. He reined in his accusations, but still eyed her with suspicion.

“Then how come you wanna help him so bad?”

She approached him again as he stood, helping him is brush dirt from his clothes.

Once clean; she grabbed his arm, demanding his full attention, and consideration.

“Rin is out there somewhere,” she reminded him somberly. “Enduring god knows what, with god knows who. We are the only ones who can help her.”

The kid wasn’t his responsibility. It wasn’t his fault if his brother let her get kidnapped. But he did feel bad for her. And he knew Kagome wouldn’t let him disregard her.

He supposed he could help find Rin. But letting Sesshoumaru tag along was way out of the question.

“Well, we don’t need him for that. I’ll find the kid, but the bastard’s on his own. He’d only slow us down anyway.”

It was probably true. Sesshoumaru was little help to them in his current state. Matter of fact, it was more likely that he could actually do a lot to hinder their progress.

“Maybe you’re right,” she conceded.

“I am.”

But casting him aside was not a palatable option.

She could see where Inuyasha was coming from. Truth be told, she really wasn’t looking forward to enduring the snobby lord for any longer than she already had.

But she had to keep reminding herself that this was all her fault. If she hadn’t made that wish, they wouldn’t be in this mess. Even if it was an accident, this was going to have to be her penance.

She didn’t know if there was anything she could do to fix what had happened. But she had already decided; they had to find Rin. That was the first thing. But she also vowed to herself that she would do everything she could to return him to his former self. Until then, they were all going to have to learn to get along. Somehow.

“You’re right about him,” she admitted. “He is a cruel, insufferable jerk, with few redeeming qualities.”

Inuyasha seemed to be mollified by Kagome’s assessment.

“But the one thing he’s got going for him is that little girl. And if anything happens to him, she’s going to be all alone. Again. We can’t let that happen.”

Her pleas were starting to get through, and she felt her mood lighten. She knew Inuyasha wouldn’t let that little girl stay captured. He was too good for that.

She was proud of her hanyou in that moment. But she could tell he was still very wary. The safety of his pack was his top concern. Luckily, she’d taken care of that already.

“What if he changes back somehow? How do you know he won’t attack us? For nothing else, then for being a witness to his ‘weakness?’”

She smiled reassuringly.

“Because, he promised he wouldn’t. I asked him not to kill us, and he gave me his word.”

He raised an incredulous eyebrow.

“And you trust him?”

"Yes,” she nodded confidently.

“He may be a jackass, but his word is good.”

And she meant it. For all his faults, she believed what he told her. The depth of her faith in Sesshoumaru wasn’t clear to her until that moment.

Inuyasha sighed heavily, turning to regard the others - who all seemed to be content with ignoring each other.

“This is taking a big risk, Kagome. You willing to put us all in danger just to help that bastard?”

She shook her head this time.

“No, not for him. For Rin. We have to do this for her.”

Placing her hand on his arm once more, she went for the close.

“Please?” Her blue eyes shone with eager desperation, and he knew he could not refuse her.

Despite everything, he tried not to sound too put out.

“Fine.” She smiled big, and reveled in the relief she felt at his agreement.

He finally saw fit to sheath his sword.

“But I will be watching him. First sign of trouble from him, and he’s out.”

She raised onto tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. His face tinted pink with a blush as he avoided her gaze.

“Thank you, Inuyasha.”

They walked the distance back to the group. The others looked on nervously, while Sesshoumaru maintained his bored expression. None would be aware how desperate he really was, but the fact he was there at all should have been a big clue.

“Alright, ningen,” Inuyasha said with a smirk, enjoying every last bit shade he was able to throw. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“Bring your crew in and get settled. Sango, you’re gonna be bunking with Kagome for now. Sorry, Miroku. You’re gonna have to room with the bastard.”

The couple had been sharing a hut of their own, but everyone had noticed that there had been issues between the lovers lately. They both actually seemed slightly relieved at the chance for a break.

They all began to head back to their huts, but Inuyasha hung back for a word with his brother. He was very close, and spoke lowly.

“Let’s get one thing straight; I’m alpha here. This is _my_ pack. And if you wanna stay with us, you gotta do what I say. That gonna work for you?”

Sesshoumaru hid no disdain from his features. But he had already resigned himself to a measure of humiliation. If he had a better option, he would have taken it. But time was not on his side. He knew he would need to act quickly if he was going to find Rin alive.

Besides, he was already human. How much worse could it get?

His single nod was barely perceptible, but his brother caught it.

“Good.”

Inuyasha took off after the others, intending that Sesshoumaru follow. He didn’t stop his progression as he turned to look over his shoulder.

“And don’t worry. We’ll find her.”

* * *

It was probably a bad time for Kagome to return to the future. The dynamic of their group had just shifted in a major way, and there was no way to tell what would become of them in the first challenging moments.

But with the new additions to the pack, she was going to have to procure even more winter rations. She figured she better get the trip out of the way, as Sesshoumaru would likely want to begin the search for Rin as soon as possible.

“I better run back home real quick. We’re going to need more supplies if Sesshoumaru is going to be staying with us. Are you guys going to be okay if I leave for a few hours?”

For once, the hanyou was surprisingly understanding. She considered that the brothers probably needed a moment to hash out the details of their new arrangement. She only hoped that they wouldn’t kill each other in the process.

Inuyasha was helping Sango move her things into Kagome’s hut, while Miroku was stuck with the task of making Sesshoumaru comfortable in his new dwelling.

“We’ll be fine, Kagome. Just don’t take too long. You want me to walk you?”

She finished unloading her bag from her most recent trip, and prepared for another. Her mother wouldn’t be expecting her. She had only just left, after all.

“I’ll be okay. You better stay with them. And please, try to be civil.”

“I will if he will.” She nodded in agreement, and began to depart.

“Oh, and Kagome?”

She halted in her tracks to turn back and listen.

“Yeah?”

Inuyasha made a face.

“Wash that sleeping bag. Twice.”

* * *

Miroku made himself scarce while Sesshoumaru inspected his new sleeping quarters.

A spare bedroll was laid out for him on the opposite side of the hut, but there was little else as far as amenities.

It didn’t appear that he had much to his name. At least, nothing he deemed worthy of bringing. He likely had no idea what it was that a human could need on the daily. Rin at least seemed to manage fine with the bare minimum. But then again, he had been there to see to her safety.

Miroku had a feeling that Kagome would bring back anything that may be absolutely necessary. She had been kind enough to do so for the rest of them, and he was kind of her burden for now.

Inuyasha stood at the threshold, and took in the sight his brother made.

He seemed so lost. So out of place. He didn’t even seem like he knew he was being watched. He likely didn’t.

The half demon realized that he probably really could wipe the fucker off the face of the planet right now, if he wanted. But Kagome had been right. It would just be too easy, and that didn’t sit well with him.

Oh, he would take him down one day. Of that he was certain. But doing so now, when he was like this... there would be no joy in it for him. It wouldn’t be satisfying.

He now had a new reason for helping Sesshoumaru return to his demon state. Yes, they were all doing it for Rin, and that was all fine and good. But if he ever wanted to defeat his brother, and prove himself stronger once and for all, he would have to do it when he was himself. Inuyasha vowed to make his brother demon again at all costs. Then, he could kill him.

“How’s it going?”

If Sesshoumaru was startled by his Inuyasha’s sudden appearance, he didn’t show it. In fact, he made no move of showing he had heard him at all.

“We leave tonight.”

“Huh?”

Sesshoumaru restrained a pained huff. “Every moment out of my presence, she is in danger. We must find her tonight.”

He could understand his brother’s urgency. But he wasn’t a daiyoukai anymore. There was no way they could cover the ground to make up for the tiger clan’s day-long head start.

“We won’t be ready tonight. We can make a plan when Kagome gets back.”

A sneer played at Sesshoumaru’s lips as he regarded Inuyasha disapprovingly.

“You require her permission? Are you not alpha?”

“I am,” he insisted. “But that ain’t how we do things here. We work as a team. Each member has input.”

“And my input?” he ventured.

“Is noted. We will talk when she gets back.”

“There is no time for courtesies,” Sesshoumaru informed him. “You and I will leave tonight. The humans will stay behind.”

Unaccustomed to taking orders, Sesshoumaru was finding the notion quite inconvenient.

“Don’t you get it yet? You are one of them now,” Inuyasha reminded him. “Even if we did leave the others behind, you won’t last more than a day without sleep. Without food. Without rest and shelter. I can go for days. And really fast too. But you... I can’t keep up a decent pace while I’m dragging your ass around with me.”

“I may travel along by dragon,” he insisted petulantly. Inuyasha shook his head.

“It don’t matter. You still need all that stuff I said. Look, who's the ningen expert between the two of us? You came to me for a reason, right?”

“Because the miko-”

“Exactly,” he interrupted. “Because Kagome wanted you here. We are going to wait for her to get back, and then we will come up with a plan. But we don’t go tonight, so you might as well get comfortable.”

Sesshoumaru forced himself to remain calm, and attempted to relay the seriousness of the situation.

“Every moment she is out there, she is another moment closer to death.”

He spoke slowly and clearly, and his brother was receptive. But unwavering.

“I’m sorry about that,” he offered. “But it’s the best I can do for now.”

Sesshoumaru considered taking Ah-Un and beginning the manhunt on his own. But he knew Inuyasha was right. As he was, he wouldn’t get far. He was woefully unequipped for such an undertaking. As distasteful as it was, he realized he would do well to stay with this pack for now. At least until he had a better grip on his abilities and limitations. They were going to need a better plan.

Resignedly, and under the assumption that the conversation had ended, he turned from his brother to continue his perusal of the modest hut that would serve as his base for a time.

Inuyasha was reluctant to leave, however; lingering in the doorway uncomfortably. He had something he wanted to ask, and was gathering the nerve to ask it. He finally decided that blunt was the way to go.

“Did you fuck her?”

Sesshoumaru was half-tempted to toy with the obnoxious half breed. Instead, he opted for a raised eyebrow, and answered his question with a question.

“What does your nose tell you, brother? Mine is unable to discern such things in its current state. However, as I recall, the last time I was in your presence the miko’s maidenhead remained intact. Are you saying that has changed?”

“She ain’t lost her virginity,” he admitted awkwardly, shifting on his feet. “But that don’t mean other stuff didn’t happen.”

The boy’s insecurity was amusing. It was clear that the miko desired the hanyou. If he was so interested, why has he not taken her yet?

“Such as?”

A scowl commanded his features, darkening them in an instant.

“I could smell your seed on that bag. You telling me nothing happened?”

“That is what I am telling you, yes,” he supplied with a dismissive shrug.

“I have no desire to bed your miko. Or any human, for that matter.”

“Not even the kid?” The suspicion in his tone was laced with true curiosity. There was no good reason he could think of why his brother would take that girl along with him. And why he would be so distraught over her absence.

Sesshoumaru’s eyes narrowed dangerously, proving he was still more than capable of intimidation.

“What?”

“That girl, Rin. Why else would you keep her around?”

It took all he had not to sputter. He tried to calm his murderous thoughts long enough to respond.

“You insinuate that I am-”

“Grooming her. That’s exactly what I’m insinuating. That’s fucking sick, man. I knew you were a bastard, but I never thought you were such a creep.”

His aura flared dangerously, and Inuyasha was certain that if he could summon youki in that moment, he would have been a goner. Or at least hurt very badly. Despite his brother’s limitations, the hanyou backed up half a step.

“Know this, half breed. Had I not given your miko my word, I would kill you where you stand. Rin is my charge. My ward. I see to her protection. One day, I shall procure her a worthy mate. But it shall not be This Sesshoumaru. Nor will it be any demon. I would not wish a hanyou child on her, or anyone.”

He spit the last bit out harshly, making sure his dig landed. But Inuyasha easily dismissed it. He was used to such comments by now. He was more focused on another part of that statement.

“Feh. So, you really did promise Kagome you wouldn’t hurt us.”

“I promised I wouldn’t kill you. Hurting is not off the table.”

A cruel smile played at Inuyasha’s lips as he reclaimed the space between them.

“Oh, yeah? I’d love it if you tried it. Any time you want to go, I’m all game.”

Sesshoumaru seemed to consider it, but made no move to respond. The thick tension dissipated after a wordless moment.

“So. How did she get such a promise from you?”

“She prevented my death. Honor demands that I offer her something in return,” he relayed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Inuyasha seemed to accept that. But his insecurities still plagued him. He needed a bit more reassurance.

“So she really never touched your cock?” he asked hopefully. Sesshoumaru let the question hang in the air a moment, eyes alight with mockery.

“That is _not_ what I said.”

He tried to remain passive, but a smirk played at the edge of his lips. And he was pleased when the hanyou fumed at the insinuation. But the joy he got from rousing his brother was short-lived, and he deigned to allay his fears.

“She passed over the chance at a night of passion with This Sesshoumaru to ensure that you and your friends shall not die at my hand. Your mistrust in your miko is unfounded.”

“I trust Kagome. It’s you I don’t trust.”

“You may trust that I find all ningens repugnant. Your miko very well may find solace in another, but he will not be me.”

That seemed to be all the assurance he needed for the moment. “That's good. Cuz of all the humans I’ve ever met, believe me, the most repugnant is you.”

Fears put to rest; he altered his focus to his brother’s battered appearance.

“So. You wanna tell me what happened to you?”

* * *

Upon arrival back in her time, Kagome greeted her mother and made a beeline for the shower. She felt the distinct need to wash the previous evening off of her.

Flashes of a hard body lying beneath her were easily squelched, and she instead cursed herself for not bringing more laundry. They had more to do back at camp, and it was much more difficult to clean their garments without use of her washer. Oh, well. It looked like she would have more work to do when she returned.

After she had dried and changed; she made her way to the laundry room to put her sleeping bag in the washer, only to find it missing.

“Kagome, I threw your bag in the wash for you. I think we need to have a talk.”

Her mother addressed her gravely, and Kagome was confused by her tone.

“What about?”

She followed her mother when she made her way to the kitchen, and joined he at the table when she sat.

“I saw the stain.”

Stain? What st-

Oh, no. Kagome’s eyes widened nervously.

“Oh, that’s not-”

“Don't lie to me, Kagome,” she insisted, cutting her off. “Are you having sex?”

The accusation was made of equal part concern and upset. Kagome was starting to feel offended at everyone’s suggestive opinion of her.

“No!”

Mrs. Higurashi reached across the table to grab her daughter’s hands, looking in her eyes as she did so.

“I need you to be honest with me. Did Inuyasha pressure you?”

“It wasn’t Inuyasha. It was his brother. And we didn’t do anything!”

Her mother turned her disappointment inward, looking away from the table.

“I’ve been negligent. I thought I still had time, but I guess we need to have the talk.”

“Mom, I’m 17. I know about sex.”

“Clearly.”

The accusing tone caused Kagome’s brow to crinkle in annoyance.

“And I’m not having it. Certainly not with Sesshoumaru.”

Her usually open-minded mother was being awfully thick-headed. It was like she wasn’t even listening. If she was, it didn’t seem like she believed her.

“Kagome, you need to know that boys your age are going to start to want things from you. Physical things. And you might think you are in love, but some boys will say anything to get what they want.”

“I’m not in love with anyone. And I won’t have sex until I am.”

“Are you telling me that you never have urges?” Kagome faltered, and her mother caught it. “Come on. I was young once too. The truth is, you are going to start to have feelings, down there.” Kagome held her face in her hands in mortification. “But until you are married, it is best to handle those urges on your own. Do you understand?”

“Oh my god, yes. Please stop!”

Oh, she understood. She understood that she was going to kill Sesshoumaru when she got back. Because he couldn’t control himself in the cave, she was now forced to endure this humiliating conversation with her mother. And now everyone thought she was being promiscuous. This so wasn’t fair.

Her mother’s mind was made up.

“I’m going to make you an appointment to get you on some birth control when you get back. But in the meantime, I want to give you this.”

She grabbed a small box off of the counter and handed it to her daughter. Kagome took it, eyeing her mother suspiciously as she did.

“I bought this for myself, but I haven’t opened the box yet. If you get uncontrollable urges, I want you to use this, instead of any handsome young man- or demon- who may try to persuade you.”

Kagome’s eyes widened in disbelief when she recognized what it was.

“A vibrator?” She blanched.

“And I bought you some condoms. I hoped you wouldn’t need them yet, but I want you to take these with you.”

She handed her the box of prophylactics, and Kagome could only accept them dumbly.

“Mom! I don’t need-”

“Just take them,” she insisted. “Then I will feel protected too.” She was speechless. This was not how this trip was supposed to go.

“Please don’t have sex,” her mother begged. “But if you do, you need to use these.”

“Mom, listen to me,” she demanded firmly. “Sesshoumaru was freezing to death. I let him use my bag. He had a wet dream, that is all. I promise! Don’t you trust me?”

For her part, her mother’s features softened.

“Of course I trust you, dear. It is those boys I don’t trust.” She moved to brush Kagome’s bangs aside. Hands now full, she could do nothing but allow it.

“You are a beautiful young woman, and I need to prepare you. And if you have any questions about sex, I want you to feel comfortable coming to me. Do you?”

“Not really,” she confessed honestly, and her mother frowned at the admission. “But I will. I promise.”

Mrs. Hirgurashi brightened at the concession.

“Just please, don’t buy me any more sex toys, okay?”

“To be fair, I bought it for me,” she reminded her with a smile. Kagome was mortified.

“Oh, god! And please don’t ever tell me that again.”

She didn’t know how, but Sesshoumaru was going to pay for this. The rest of her visit was plagued with thoughts on how to exact her revenge.


	7. Plans

Supplies replenished and embarrassing conversation over, Kagome made haste in returning to her companions in the past. She couldn’t wait to get away from her suddenly- and very unjustly- overly-concerned mother. But once she passed through the portal, she became reluctant to return.

Sure, she was very eager to find Rin, and hopefully rescue her from her captors before anything terrible happened. But things were suddenly very heavy in the village.

She’d vouched for Sesshoumaru to the rest of the group. And though she was confident that he wouldn’t hurt her friends, she was less convinced that he would be a pleasant addition to the pack.

She felt responsible for bringing him into their midst, and maintaining any sort of status-quo seemed like an insurmountable task. It was a lot of pressure.

She wished Shippo was here. Her little kit could always lighten the mood, and made her feel better when times got tough. But the boy had grown a lot in the last couple of years, and the time had finally come for him to go to kitsune school to hone his skills. Her little boy was growing up, and the pride she felt was bittersweet.

She allowed herself to drag her feet as she became lost to memories of the small fox demon. So consumed in her musings was she, that she almost collided with the newest member of the team, who had apparently been awaiting her return rather impatiently.

“You certainly took your time,” Sesshoumaru accused, startling the poor girl back to present. She was so caught off guard by his appearance, that she hadn’t the time to respond before he laid into her again.

“We must wait on your return to devise a plan to recover Rin, yet you seem to find this an appropriate time for a vacation.”

She looked around for any sign of Inuyasha. Or, literally anyone else to protect her from his assertions. She was disappointed to find they were alone. But as his words registered, she quickly forgot her distress.

Inuyasha never failed to give her grief any time she left to go to the future. But there was no way she was going to put up with both brothers whining about the trips she took home. Particularly not when the journeys were made for them in the first place.

Taking in his bored expression, she remembered her anger immediately.

“Don’t even start! Do you have any idea how much trouble you’ve caused me? My mother just-”

“And have you any indication what your dallying has wrought?” The ice in his tone caused her to slowly withdraw the scolding finger she'd placed only inches from his face. “Hours were lost awaiting your return. And the victim of your negligence is a small human child.” She faltered at his assessment. Was she really delaying Rin’s rescue? He recognized her uncertainty, and relished it. He took the opportunity to pounce. “This One foolishly believed that you harbored a measure of compassion. However, it appears that you are either cleverly deceptive, or dangerously ignorant.”

Her nerves were shot. What was supposed to have been a reprieve for a very difficult night had turned into her second humiliating affair in as many days. And with the catalyst for both standing not paces before her, it took all she had not to explode with rage.

If he were Inuyasha, she would have sat him. But unfortunately, the elder brother would require a different tactic. She was not one for cruel words, but something about him brought out the worst in her. With no other recourse, she leveled him with an impressive withering glare that would make... well, _him_ proud.

“Oh, it is _my_ negligence she is the victim of? I thought she was in _your_ care.”

She wanted to find the little girl just as badly as he did. But that didn’t mean she was going to take his abuse lying down. Letting him come in and throw his weight around now would set a dangerous precedent. They were doing him a favor by letting him stay with them as far as she was concerned, and he was going to have to do things their way.

But he was not fazed by her attack on his ability to protect. Though she was certain her cutting remark had gotten through, his transformation had done nothing to hamper his ability to appear stoically unaffected.

“Time is of the essence, miko. I had thought that would be more than clear to a pathetic mortal with only decades to spare. Now return to the village at once. We must devise our plan immediately.”

Nor had it affected his ability to offer insults and hand out orders. She supposed she shouldn’t really be that surprised. He had probably spent centuries making more commands than concessions. It would take longer than a few days to correct his behavior.

But hopefully, if they found his young ward soon, he would be out of their hair before it was necessary. At the moment, Rin’s rescue seemed much more attainable than 'the great Sesshoumaru' having any life-changing epiphanies.

“Yeah, where do you think I was going? Jesus, I’d already be there by now if you hadn’t stopped me to be a jerk.” She looked around again. “Where is Inuyasha?”

“It is not This One’s duty to keep tabs on your packmates. Gather your companions and bring them to my hut. I will explain my expectations once all of you have arrived.”

With his demands issued, he turned and left the sputtering miko alone in the field.

When Sesshoumaru was at his worst, she cooled her temper by reminding herself that he was like this because of her, and the result that he would travel with them was all her fault.

And his world had only been completely torn asunder a few days ago. She vowed to show grace, and give him a little time to adjust to the new way of things.

But if he didn’t soften his approach soon, she would be forced to confront him.

She stomped back to her hut to find it was empty. Grateful for that fact, she took the opportunity to mutter a few words under her breath which she refused to allow in the company of others.

She set her bag down and removed a few items, when Inuyasha finally appeared.

He greeted her warmly. But noticing her temper, he approached with caution.

“How’d it go with your mom?”

It was usually safe territory, but he appeared to touch on a sore subject.

Kagome flinched and shook her head, as if trying to rattle the memories from her brain.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She continued unpacking some of her cargo, and threw a glance over her shoulder. “Did anything happen while I was gone?”

He shrugged, leaning against the wall informally while he watched her.

“I caught a bunch of fish for dinner. Sure do miss the brat right about now. Shippo might be annoying, but he sure was useful when it came to finding food. We should have more than enough though. Sango is cleaning them right now.”

Mention of her kit caused an ache in her heart, but it was easily repressed. Their group had had their fair share of rough times. But lately everything seemed to just click. They all knew each other so well at this point, and each would do anything for the benefit of the others.

Even Inuyasha had been taking on his share of the chores without needing be asked. They all knew their part, and everyone played it wonderfully. She smiled inwardly at the knowledge of just how much they all cared about one another. It was a shame that his brother had to come along to disturb that.

‘My fault,’ she reminded herself, yet again. Speaking of him...

“I meant with Sesshoumaru. Did he do anything?”

“Keh, nothing.” He pushed himself off the wall to step closer to her. “I tried to ask about his face, but that fucker won't give anything up. Just took those demon followers of his and sat under that tree over there the whole time you were gone.” He gestured out the window as he spoke. “Did he tell you what happened?”

He tried to get Sesshoumaru’s version of what was sure to be a great story, but the icy bastard was tight-lipped as ever. He would never share personal things with him anyway, and he surmised that the tale of his humiliating defeat would not be easy in coming. But Kagome had a way about her. Hell, just last night she had probably gotten closer to the fucker than almost anyone ever had. Literally.

He did his best to ignore the jealousy the reminder stirred.

“No,” she admitted, turning from her half-emptied pack. “But I got it out of Jaken that it was those tigers that took Rin. Speaking of which, his highness is demanding an audience with all of us right now in his hut. Did you guys come up with a plan?”

“I told him we had to wait for you. Didn’t want to decide on anything until we were all together again.”

She smiled at the admission. He really had come such a long way from when they had first met. He was being so thoughtful lately, and it caused her heart to flutter in excitement. It was like he finally realized how important she was to him. Was he like her, and hoping to finally explore the unspoken something between them?

But now wasn’t the time for such thoughts. Getting Sesshoumaru to allow her to help him was as far ahead as she’d thought. Now that he was here, they needed to figure out what they were going to do.

“Do you have any ideas?”

“Feh. It’s his brat.”

She finally scowled. She refused to make Rin pay for her guardian's unfortunate demeanor. And she didn’t have to look too deep to know that Inuyasha didn’t mean to be so dismissive towards her.

“But we are all going to help,” she reminded him. “What are we going to do?”

That seemed to snap him out of his funk, and he flicked his gaze to the door. He was anxious, but determined.

“Probably should hear him out. It ain’t like him to be unprepared.”

As much as he hated his brother, he couldn’t deny that the guy had a mind for strategy. Sesshoumaru had spent his whole life waging wars, tracking enemies and dishing out punishments. He almost felt sorry for the poor saps who crossed him in this manner.

Just because he was human, he doubted he had lost his touch when it came to his capacity for vengeance and spite. And with them to help him, he was sure he could locate the offenders. Whatever Sesshoumaru had planned for them when they caught them, it wouldn’t be pretty.

“I don’t think any of us were prepared for this. Even him.” Inuyasha couldn’t contain the chuckle that escaped him at her assessment. If you ignored the severity, it really was pretty funny. Kagome’s smile showed him that she shared his sentiment.

She stepped closer, and placed a hand on his arm. He smiled warmly in return.

“All right, let’s go see what he says. I’ll get Sango and meet you guys there.”

She brushed past to lead the way out of her hut. He let himself enjoy the fact that she was finally back home for a moment, before heading out to what was sure to be an unpleasant encounter.

* * *

Kagome entered the hut with Sango to find the others in a circle on the floor, facing one another on their knees. Sesshoumaru spared her a somewhat accusatory glance, which she pointedly ignored to take her seat on Inuyasha’s other side. It was obvious that they had been waiting for her.

Without preamble, Sesshoumaru unrolled a map - one of the few items he appeared to bring with him.

“The tiger clan abducted Rin near a river on the northern border to This One’s lands.”

He pointed to the area which Kagome recognized as very close to the spot where Ah-Un had taken her on the evening she had found him in the snow.

The accuracy and beauty of the map had her captivated. Not to mention the vastness. The Western Lands were clearly outlined, as well as the territories far beyond. She had no idea he controlled so much land.

Most of her contact with Sesshoumaru had amounted to exchanging insults and blows from the sidelines while he battled his half-brother for usually petty purposes. She never really actually saw him as a ruler; simply the cruel pest who occasionally crossed her path to berate the hanyou she loved. Even though she was aware of his title, the enormity had not clicked in her brain until this moment. Briefly, she wondered what his new human state would mean for those who lived within the areas he saw over. Or everyone else, for that matter.

But while she was marveling over his map, it seemed that everyone else was assessing the Western Lord with poorly concealed awe. None were given the opportunity to study him up close since his arrival. In such close quarters, it was now impossible to ignore. Miroku and Sango wisely saw fit not to comment, but he was not unaware of their silent perusal of his new form. He wondered if it was his humanity they gawked at, or the unprecedented mangled state of his features. He supposed it didn’t matter. He only hoped that after today, everyone will have gotten their fill and moved on.

For once, Inuyasha seemed to be the only other one of them able to focus on the task at hand. Though he was likely more concerned with getting this whole episode over with quickly, and getting his brother out of his company.

“Do you know them? Do you know where they went?”

Pleased with his priorities, Sesshoumaru turned his focus on him to answer.

“I have never encountered that clan specifically. However, tigers occasionally venture to wreak havoc near my boarders.” Inuyasha nodded, accepting the information and obviously filing it in his memory.

“I have never known of them to reside anywhere other than deep in the Northern Lands.” Sesshoumaru pointed to a spot on his map that was much further up from where Rin was abducted. “The best course of action is to pursue them there.”

“Are you sure that’s where they went?” Kagome decided to chime in. Just because tigers typically congregated in one area, that didn’t mean it was where they were headed. In fact, if Sesshoumaru knew where they lived, it was likely they wouldn’t be there.

“There is no way to be certain. I am simply using logic to determine the best chance for success.”

With no intimate knowledge on where they could have gone, one guess was as good as another. They didn’t have the resources to split up in every direction, which was unfortunate. Inuyasha seemed to share in her sentiment.

“Well, you know these lands better than the rest of us, so I guess _north_ it is,” he conceded. He shot a quick glance to the others in his pack for their approval, though he didn’t expect any push back. And he would receive none. He accepted the counsel of every member of the group. But he was their alpha, and everyone recognized that.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a tiger demon before.” She had encountered countless varieties of demons in her travels ever since making her first journey to the past. But other than Kirara, the only ones of the feline persuasion had been the panther tribe that had seemed to have some sort of vendetta against the dog demons in the past. If she recalled, they had hailed from the North as well. She wondered if it was of any significance.

“Unsurprising,” Sesshoumaru informed her. “Tigers wisely steer clear of This One’s lands. It is uncommon for them to venture so far West.”

Then why were they here now? And why would Sesshoumaru leave his territory while in such a vulnerable state? Kagome had so many questions, but she focused on the most important.

“Why did they take her? Can you think of any reason?”

“I can only surmise that those pathetic fools saw a chance for retribution and seized on it.”

She raised an eyebrow at his statement.

“Retribution? I thought you said you have never met them before.”

Sesshoumaru turned his focus to his brother for a moment. He was the self-proclaimed alpha of this oddball little pack. So why was the miko seeming to take charge of these negotiations? And why was the hanyou allowing it?

When his silent question appeared to go unanswered, he deigned to respond. So long as planning was underway, he supposed it did not matter to whom he offered his information. Though if it were him, he certainly wouldn't allow any other to show dominance in front of others.

It was clear that the miko would be a larger presence to contend with than he had initially anticipated. He was beginning to grow weary of indulging her, but he kept his opinions to himself for the time being.

“Not them specifically. However, I have been forced to teach their kinsmen their place on more than one occasion.” Kagome wasn’t certain if he intended to boast, but it definitely came off that way to her. She resisted a very unladylike eye roll in favor of letting him continue.

“Though I do not know them, any would no doubt be aware of the Lord of the Western Lands.” This time, her eyes did venture heavenward for a brief second, and it did not go unnoticed. He nearly faltered in confusion, but pressed on regardless. “Their motives are their own, though it is likely they saw an opportunity to strike in a moment of weakness.”

It was probably as strange for them to hear him admit his shortcomings as it was for him to say it. But there was no point in avoiding it. His inadequacies were painfully clear.

“So maybe you hadn’t handled the tiger clan as tactfully as you could have?”

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes at the miko for her commentary. But his disdain was soon followed by an arrogant lift of his chin, and a haughty lowering of his lids. She knew without a word she was being terribly patronized.

‘He’s still got it,’ she admitted to herself, and hated that he even managed to look regal as he replied dismissively.

“I rule as I see fit. When there is a threat on my lands, I extinguish it. I make no apologies for that.”

“And now Rin is paying the price.”

She wasn’t sure why she was baiting him. It was her idea to help. But something about him just grated so terribly on her nerves. And she managed to find pleasure as he fixed her with an annoyed glare once more. If he insisted on being condescending, she would match it with petulance.

Maybe this whole ‘no killing her’ oath was going to her head. Still, she couldn’t resist.

Inuyasha decided to interrupt the tense exchange.

“So what do you propose we do?”

When had his brother become the sensible one in the group? It seemed like the whole world had turned upside down at the moment. But Sesshoumaru was grateful for the reprieve. Finally, he could get down to business. He returned focus to his map.

“All demons present will accompany This One into the Northern Lands. Inuyasha may take your fire cat,” he gestured to Sango, who was watching on intently. She nodded quickly in agreement. Then he indicated to the imp at his side. “Jaken and I shall ride Ah-Un. We shall scour the lands northbound until Rin is found.” He ran his fingers over the areas he was referring to. “Or, at the very least, until any of the tiger clan is located and information can be obtained.”

Inuyasha didn’t miss the tone Sesshoumaru carried. He knew exactly what he meant. Any tiger they would come across would be tortured, and eventually killed. Even those with nothing to do with this had their fates sealed by association.

Sesshoumaru probably couldn’t do much to them until he changed back. And Inuyasha hoped that would be soon. Otherwise, it was implied that the unsavory deeds would fall to the half demon. Though he wasn’t opposed to putting evil demons in their place, he didn’t like the idea of doing Sesshoumaru’s dirty work. Hopefully Jaken would be up to the task.

“Okay. What about the rest of us?” Sango finally ventured, apparently eager to offer whatever help that she could. Sesshoumaru slid his gaze to her only briefly.

“Humans are of no use to me,” he informed her matter of factly. “You shall all stay behind.”

“What?!” He was beginning to predict the miko’s indignant reactions. He refused to acknowledge them, however.

“There is no time to cater to the needs of humans. You will only stifle This One’s progress.”

“What about you?” she demanded, well past tolerant of his insulting behavior. Sesshoumaru resisted a sigh at her response. He never thought he would long for his brother’s interference. “If you go with the demons, they will have to stop every few hours for you to rest, or eat. You can't even use your scent to track anything down.”

“She’s right. It ain’t much of a plan.” Turning to regard his brother, Sesshoumaru spoke to him as if he were speaking to a child.

“And what do you propose, little brother? Charging around blindly with Father’s sword will not see to her rescue, and from what This Sesshoumaru has witnessed; it is your only course of action.”

“We should go North, if that’s where you think they are,” he replied confidently. “But you will only slow us down. I can take the demons up ahead, and we can cover ground more quickly without you.”

Inuyasha wasn’t goaded by his insults, and Sesshoumaru was actually annoyed. His brother’s reasonable response was offered with a maturity that he wasn’t expecting. He was aware of how childish it had made him appear in comparison.

“You propose that I stay behind?” Inuyasha shook his head.

“No. We all go together.” He took a moment to make eye contact with each one in his pack before regarding his brother once more. “But humans are welcomed in the villages, unlike us. There, you guys can ask around. Network. See if anyone has seen or heard anything. While you are doing that in the next village north of here,” he pointed on the map to show them the neighboring town, “us demons will spread out and go ahead to see if we can catch a whiff. We will come back at the end of the day for you. If anyone has found anything, we will all go together. If not, we will take you to the next village up and start again.”

Sesshoumaru took a moment to consider his proposal. He had to admit, the idea was not without merit. He would never have considered consulting other humans on the matter, mostly because he didn’t want to. He normally worked alone. Allowing this pack to aid him was already demeaning enough. He certainly didn’t wish to include any more people in this than was necessary.

“I do not see the point in wasting time in a human village. The tiger clan will not be there.”

“Maybe not,” Inuyasha conceded. “But humans talk to each other. They see things. They are usually the ones who get attacked by travelling demons, and they will be able to tell us if they have heard about any problems. If these tigers were willing to beat you up and take your brat, I’d say the chances are pretty good that they have ruffled some feathers along the way. It would be stupid not to use every resource available, and humans can be useful this way.”

Sesshoumaru hid his discomfort in being reminded of how he lost his last battle. He certainly didn’t appreciate how Inuyasha brought it up so casually, and in front of the others. But the boy spoke no untruths.

When had Inuyasha begun acquiring fortitude in these matters? He could have sworn that the last time he encountered him, he was as brash and ignorant as he had always been. Perhaps being rendered to this human state had bolstered some untapped confidence in the hanyou. It was not necessarily a comforting thought.

“But hey, it’s your call,” he offered informally; almost tauntingly. “It’s your kid out there. You really want to slow us down so you can tag along, it ain’t no skin off my nose. But when they eat her alive, or whatever they plan to do, it will be ‘cause of your own damn pride, not ours.”

Yes, he was hating his brother’s confidence at the moment. Hating how comfortable the boy felt in his own skin. A half-breed should be the one to feel out of place, not The Lord of the Western Lands. Certainly not him.

But most of all, he hated that the whelp’s plan seemed to hold more water than his own. It was a good idea. It was his best course of action.

“You would leave your pack unprotected?” he tried; a last-ditch effort to render Inuyasha’s plan unacceptable. The half demon scoffed.

“Keh, they ain’t weak. Kagome and Miroku can protect themselves. And Sango is a hella good fighter.” The others perked up at the praise their leader offered; smiling and blushing slightly at his acknowledgment of their abilities.

“Are you guys okay with that? If I go, I mean?”

They appreciated him placing value in their input, though none would hesitate in nodding their approval. Their trust in him was as palpable as his in them.

“What do you think, Sesshoumaru?” Kagome asked hopefully. Teasing aside, she wanted to help him. She wanted to find Rin. And Inuyasha’s plan sounded like the best way to do it, considering what they had at their disposal. She only hoped he would see past his pride, and his feelings about his brother, and reach the same conclusion.

Sesshoumaru eyed her contemplatively for a moment, before addressing his half-brother.

“It is acceptable. We shall leave tonight.”

“It's pointless.” Inuyasha shook his head, but Sesshoumaru was tired of being countered. He needed a win, and leaving immediately was at the top of his wish list.

“The miko has wasted enough of our time with her own traveling.” He thought he noticed Jaken flinch, but he easily ignored it. “The time for waiting has ended. We must act now.”

“We won't make it to the next village before dark,” Inuyasha informed him firmly. He turned to address his pack. “The rest of you won't be able to see nothing, and when we get there, there won't be anyone to get any information from. Not to mention, we haven’t eaten or prepared for the journey yet. The best thing to do is stay here tonight. We will get everything ready, and leave first thing in the morning.”

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes at him again, but he knew he was beaten.

“I do not wish to wait-”

“Yeah, well I am alpha here,” the half breed interrupted, enjoying his status more by the minute. “I gotta make sure my pack stays safe and healthy.” His grim countenance took on a more jovial one. “But I am a fair leader, so I’ll put it to a vote. Everyone who wants to leave in the morning, raise your hand.”

Only Jaken joined Sesshoumaru in remaining still, and loathing every moment of this democratic process.

“That's a majority,” he announced with a smirk, and rose from his seat. “It's decided.” Kagome stood when he did, and Sango and Miroku slowly followed suit.

She had never been so proud of the half demon she had grown to love. And honestly, had never been so attracted to him. Leadership suited him, and she was elated to see him finally taking charge of his role. Maybe, when this was all over, she would find the courage to tell him so. Maybe, she hoped, he would beat her to it. The prospect excited her.

Before exiting the hut, Inuyasha gave a friendly dismissal.

“I’ll see everyone at dinner.” He smiled, looking to Kagome. “We’re having fish.”

* * *

After the meeting, Sesshoumaru returned to take purchase under his chosen tree. Though he had resigned himself to joining forces with his brother’s pack for a time, he decided he needn’t spend any more time around them than absolutely necessary.

The harsh winter cold was somehow easier to endure than the uneasy smiles and forced conversation of the humans he had allied himself with. Not to mention his brother.

But surprisingly, Inuyasha hadn’t been the most insufferable member of the little group to withstand.

The miko had never registered significantly on his radar. Not since the day he first made her acquaintance in his father’s tomb.

Her ability to pull the sword had been irksome. However, after that, she merely served him as a device through which to taunt and torment the halfling. Insinuating that his brother would indulge in a relationship with a human had obviously been a sore point for the boy, at one point. But with time, it became clear that he had accepted the place the girl had held in his heart. Which was funny...

For at first, he had only done it to amuse himself by watching Inuyasha embarrass and fluster at the implied romantic association. It was now clear that he refused to deny that he did indeed have love for the girl. To a degree, at least.

The miko’s protectiveness of her pack was obvious, but her affection for the hanyou was of a deeper claim. Sesshoumaru wondered why it was that their relationship seemed to only be that of a friendly nature. Kagome clearly wanted more from him. So why was he holding back? Not that he cared.

What was also irksome was how he had dismissed the woman outright after the tomb incident. She clearly had power, of that there was no question. So why had the demon lord written her off as no more than a nuisance to his purposes? Sure, her childish attitude and clumsy demeanor made her easy to discard. But by no means duplicitous, her manner was clearly deceptive. He considered it a fault in his judgment to ignore the sway she held over others, or the threat she could pose.

Though certain it had been unintentional, she had officially now made his radar. He was sure she would live to regret rising herself above his notice. In fact, he vowed it. If nothing else, he could spend this time as a temporary – and it _would_ be temporary - member of this pack to study the strange female and assess her abilities. It would be an experiment. The thought distracted him from the overall unpleasantness of the situation.

But in the meantime, he would sit. The cover the tree provided allowed his clothing to remain unsoaked from the otherwise snow-covered hill. And though out of earshot - thankfully - he was still very much in sight of the others.

Ever the loyal followers, Jaken and Ah-Un joined him to rest nearby. It appeared more like when the two packs were forced to meet briefly, instead of now being one.

As the others prepared dinner, Sesshoumaru sat lazily against the base of the tree. Looking passively off to the distance, he didn’t acknowledge the irritated miko holding a basket of laundry at her hip.

Her patience in demanding his attention was short-lived, as she was apparently running low on it. In regards to him, at least.

“I’m going to start washing clothes.”

He spared her an assessing glance only a moment, before finally making to remove his haori. Once aware of what he intended, she flushed briefly, before halting his actions to clarify.

“And you are going to help me.”

He scoffed dismissively.

“We all pull our weight around here. Inuyasha caught the fish. Sango is cooking the meal, and Miroku will wash the dishes. The only one not contributing is you. And if you want your dinner, you are going to have to work for it.”

She held out the clothing and paused for him to stand, but he didn’t.

He waited for her to take the hint and leave. A powerful aristocrat such as he did not perform menial chores. Certainly not one who could wink out her existence with the flick of his wrist.

He acknowledged that he currently no longer possessed his impressive and terrifying abilities. But even though not a demon, he still was a lord. Such tasks were beneath him.

But she didn’t appear to be moving.

He regarded her coolly a long moment, trying to convey his obstinance. When it failed; he huffed internally, and turned his head with an order.

“Jaken. Aid the miko-”

“No,” she interrupted, fully prepared for his resistance. He faltered a moment, violet eyes widening slightly at the disrespect. “ _You_ will do it. Jaken did his part by starting the fire. Staring off into space all day feeling sorry for yourself is not work.”

Stunned into momentary silence, his brain was working overdrive in how to respond to the demand. He knew what the appropriate action to take was, but his oath to her in the cave prevented him from seeing it through.

He was still larger than her. She couldn’t _make_ him do anything. But how could they proceed as travel companions if she were suddenly to take issue? Would she withhold her aid to Rin at his refusal? The aid of her packmates? Somehow, he doubted it.

But what he didn’t doubt was that the wrong response could make his life much harder than if he simply complied. He was unaccustomed to being in such a precarious position. How should he proceed?

Just then; Inuyasha approached the couple, interrupting the stare down whether unknowingly or not.

A large axe hung casually over his shoulder in a way which reminded Sesshoumaru of how he occasionally brandished Tetsusaiga - on the rare instances when not simply aiming it in his face.

He seemed to be aware that he had intruded upon a tense scene. And when neither party greeted him; he inserted himself cautiously, looking from packmate to new packmate.

“I got some time before dinner, so I’m gonna go take care of that firewood,” he gestured to the nearby trees he had leveled recently. “I figure it’ll save us the trouble for a while.”

She grabbed the axe from his hand, as he looked on curiously.

“No. You have done enough work for today.” She turned to Sesshoumaru.

“If you don’t want to help me wash clothes, then you can go chop wood. I’ll let you make the call.”

It was another intense stare down for a long moment, and Inuyasha watched uncomfortably, but wisely, in silence.

After a moment Sesshoumaru finally stood, and finished removing his haori. Kagome tried not to flush as she averted her eyes. Though she wasn’t certain why she did. It was nothing she hadn’t seen up close. Nothing she hadn’t felt.

Perhaps her intimate knowledge of his body is what made so uncomfortable to witness.

He took it off at threw it over Kagome’s head, earning a high-pitched indignant scoff. He then proceeded to grab the axe from her hand roughly, before the scolding that was sure to ensue.

“I will chop.”

* * *

As it would have been easy to become distracted watching the shirtless Sesshoumaru chop his large pile of wood from her nearby spot at the stream; Kagome elected to focus on washing the laundry, and nothing else. The temperature had warmed with the help of the lasting sun, but she still worried that his ignorance of a human’s susceptibility to cold could render him ill once again.

She was tempted to demand that he cover himself - not just for his benefit - but she conceded that at the rate he was chopping, he was likely keeping warm enough. Besides, she didn’t want him to think that he had any sort of effect on her.

Sango made her way to the miko, and crouched beside her to assist.

“You already did your part, Sango! You don’t have to help.”

“And miss the show? No way!”

The taijiya's eyes never left Sesshoumaru as she fumbled with the clothing uselessly in the stream.

After splitting another log, he stopped his progress a moment to wipe the sheen of sweat off of his brow.

Sango all but moaned at the sight, biting her lip as she wrung the clothing in her hands.

“Get a grip! It’s only Sesshoumaru,” Kagome reminded, not at all distracted from her duties.

“There’s no ‘only’ about him. That is, hands down, the hottest fucking guy I’ve ever seen!”

Now Kagome’s progress was halted, as she stared dumbly at her honorary sister.

“But it’s Sesshoumaru! He’s such a jerk!”

“Mmm, pointless details...” she informed her. “When you look that good, you can act however you want.”

Kagome fixed her friend with a glare that was both scolding and unamused, before turning her attention back to the laundry in her grasp.

“That is exactly what he is banking on. I’d hoped that being a human would knock him down a few pegs. But it is clear that he is just as insufferable as ever. Maybe even more so.”

Sango wasn’t listening, as Sesshoumaru had resumed his task, and his perfect muscles flexed deliciously in the sun’s gleam.

“I mean, you’ve heard the way he talks. Everything out of that man’s mouth is either horribly cruel, or pompously demanding.”

“I don’t care. Speaking isn’t required for what I want with him.”

Kagome was nearly speechless at the confession. She couldn’t tell if she was more disgusted or mortified with her friend’s statement.

“But... what about Miroku?” She stammered. Sango snorted.

“You think I’m worried about him? The last village we were at, he hit on half the girls, and slept with at least two. That was the last straw,” she insisted, visibly irritated. “I’m sick of his philandering. It’s time I taught him a lesson about what cheating does to those who care about you, and Sesshoumaru is the perfect tool.”

She couldn’t exactly argue. Everyone was aware of Miroku’s extra-curricular activities. Though she didn’t admire it, she realized that this was a different time. And because Sango obviously knew what was going on, she dumbly assumed that she was somehow okay with it. Though she _had_ picked up on some tension between the couple lately. Still...

“Don’t let him hear you call him a tool,” she suggested, in no small way trying to sidestep the uncomfortable topic. Sango only smirked, and leaned in close to whisper.

“He won’t if you don’t tell him. Human hearing, remember?”

She returned her longing gaze to him, and continued making her case.

“Besides, I doubt he will mind. If he is like any other human man now, some casual sex won’t offend him.”

“You just said he is like no other man...” Kagome tried, offering whatever she could to dissuade her.

But she only sighed dreamily, “And how.”

She shouldn’t be so bothered. Sango was a big girl, and she apparently knew what she wanted. But she couldn’t help the feelings that caused her discomfort in Sango’s reaction to him. It must be because she didn’t want her friend to get hurt... and didn’t want the former demon to reap any rewards for his awful behavior.

She finally sighed in resignation, and refocused on her task.

“Do what you want. But I am going on record as totally against the idea.”

“Noted. Just don’t say anything to the guys. I don’t want anyone else trying to ‘talk some sense’ into me.”

As Sango swooned over the intolerable, albeit handsome, sweaty, shirtless dog... man, Kagome continued her washing, trying to temper her tense annoyance at her friend.


	8. Understanding

Sesshoumaru had always been an early riser. As a demon, he could easily go days without sleep. Weeks, if he was pushing it.

His superior body was always at work, healing and mending, if not improving, even when he was at rest. All demons had this ability to some extent, but he was exceptionally adept at achieving perfection, and once reached; he enhanced even further. It was perpetual; setting the bar at the top, and seeing to surpassing it. It occurred naturally, and with minimal effort.

So when a snake demon tore through the village with the force of a hurricane in the wee hours of day break, being startled from his sleep was a very new experience.

He had been the first to bed, opting to forgo unpleasant conversation with his newly acquired pack mates in hopes of rising early and getting a start on his search for Rin. But as much as he hated to admit it, he badly needed the rest as well. Everything hurt.

Never had his body ached as it did at present. His muscles were sore. His bones felt heavy. And the bruised skin at his face in particular throbbed incessantly, and without respite. He had never much considered what a human body would require to get itself back to an acceptable state. He always knew they were weak, but had never mulled over what exactly it entailed to recover, or how long it would take.

But he had been through pain before. He could endure. And he vowed to never allow any pathetic mortal to be privy to his discomfort. He could compartmentalize, and push past it. It was mind over matter. And with a few days rest, he hoped to be beyond the worst of it.

But not two hours into his slumber, he awoke with a start. Another nightmare.

Much like the one he had the night before, he was given visions of Rin being tortured and abused by that pack of malicious tiger demons. The pool of sweat he marinated in was nothing compared to the discomfort of the crippling new emotions he found himself riddled with. Namely guilt, and inadequacy.

She was his to protect. His to care for. She relied on him for her safety. She trusted him.

And he had failed her.

The prospect of returning to sleep and enduring the sights his mind supplied him with was an unappealing one. So he elected to remain awake. One night of lost sleep would not be consequential. He kept himself up until the dawn broke.

Though the monk’s even breathing from his bedroll across the hut tried to tempt him in joining in sleep throughout the long winter night, he resisted.

He spent the hours productively. Over and over, he walked himself through the plan. Assessing and reassessing. Playing out every possible scenario in his mind, and the best way to handle them. A million things could happen over the next few days, and he would be ready for all of them.

But despite his best efforts, sleep did eventually claim him. The last thing he remembered was seeing the sky lighten as the sun began to make itself known. He was relieved to finally be able to ascertain his surroundings again. He was unused to the darkness hampering his senses, and found the limitations disconcerting.

When the snake crashed through the village not long after succumbing to slumber, he rose in a flash. Slightly disoriented, he took a moment to realize where he was. What he was. And who he was with.

Despite not having his weapons, he instinctively exited his now empty hut and made to take his place before the offending demon, only to find Inuyasha in the midst of battle.

The boy’s movements were clumsy. Unrefined. Imperfect. But he seemed to be handling his own quite well.

Even though the snake was several times his volume, with the help of his father’s fang, his half-brother had the situation well in hand.

That didn’t stop Sesshoumaru from judging, correcting, assessing the half breed’s moves as he fought.

This is what he should have done. That is where he would have struck, were it him fighting.

He should have lingered longer here. He would have withheld a moment more there...

A little more force would have made a greater impact... A little less effort would have saved him from further exhaustion. Simple things. Basic moves. Things father would have shown him, if only-

“Sesshoumaru!” Kagome yelled, once aware of his presence.

Across the way, the rest of the pack was braced for battle. The slayer had her weapon poised to strike, and the monk held his cursed hand in front of him. Neither were fighting. Everyone seemed to be content with letting Inuyasha take care of the demon. But they were ready. Should the snake get the upper hand, and it did not appear at the moment that it would, the others were prepared to step in and eliminate the threat. Even Ah-Un and Jaken took their positions among the pack, poised to fight if need be.

The miko ran over to him, bow in hand. And he contained his disgust as she took stance in front of him, apparently with the intent of protecting him. Never had he felt so impotent.

Everything within him was screaming at him to break away. To charge into the battle and show his brother, and the snake, and _everyone_ , who was in control here. But his logical mind supplied that such an act would be foolhardy.

He had no weapon. No powers. Nothing to contribute.

He strained for purpose, for a scenario in which he could use his perfect skill to kill as he had done thousands- if not millions - of times before. But even if he had a weapon, he was uncertain as to whether he could wield it effectively. Moves he had made so effortlessly in battles past were no longer at his disposal. He would need practice to learn what capabilities- if any- he possessed. He could no longer rely on his lifetime of training to see him through a fight with even such a low-level demon as this. He was furious.

But as much as he wanted to send the miko away, to refuse the assistance she offered, he remained silent. Not because he needed, or even wanted her help. If he were to meet his end at this moment, it would not be an entirely unwelcome outcome. He simply knew it was useless. She would not abandon him, even if he asked her to. Even if he incentivized it.

So he watched, helpless, as his little brother protected them from danger.

His fingers itched at his side, yearning to act. More than once his hand lifted to his hip where his swords should have been, only to be met with emptiness where he would have once found his hilt.

Not that it mattered, he told himself. Even if his swords were there, he was barely able to lift them, let alone use them.

A scream from the miko at his side tore him from his lament. He snapped his head to her in a start, just in time to watch her release the arrow she had ready to let fly at the snake.

The demon barely avoided purification, using his serpentine movements to slither out of harm's way. Only when the offender scurried did Sesshoumaru’s inferior eyes finally see the fallen form of the hanyou he begrudgingly called brother.

Inuyasha was alive. That much he could tell, from the way that he twitched painfully from his position flat on his back. Sesshoumaru hadn’t witnessed the strike, but the large gash in his chest and the amount of blood on his clothing told him he had suffered a devastating blow.

The miko left his side to run to her alpha. Taking her bow with her, she kneeled when she finally reached him.

Her hands roamed his form, assessing as they attempted to comfort the dazed half dog demon.

Drawing her face closer, she murmured things to him which were unintelligible to Sesshoumaru’s rounded ears.

He watched as she stroked his cheek, uncaring of the blood which smeared on them both at the action.

He couldn’t tell if the boy was reacting coherently, or responding reflexively to the woman at his side.

She noticed the snake’s return too late. By the time she readied her arrow; a long, disgusting tongue hissed out to knock her weapon from her hold.

A second swipe of the slimy appendage wrapped Kagome up in it, drawing her dangerously close to the demon’s mouth. But before she was ingested; Sango’s boomerang whizzed by, severing the forked mass and dropping Kagome to the ground with a wince inducing thud.

She was not harmed by the fall, but the snake was not terribly injured either. Poised to strike with its jaws, it seemed to briefly consider which of the two fallen comrades to take as a meal.

Decision made; it hovered over Inuyasha, and drew itself back for its final strike. But before it completed its journey; the boomerang sliced through the air again, cutting the demon in two with impressive urgency.

Both ends of the snake wiggled on the ground. It wasn’t clear if it was trying to become one again, or multiplying into two entities. But Miroku wouldn’t wait to find out.

“Get back!” he demanded, readying his hand to unleash his signature attack.

Sango was first to Inuyasha’s side, lifting him by his armpits to drag him out of the way. He seemed aware of what was occurring, but unable to react. Perhaps it was poison. Perhaps crippling pain.

Seeing what her friend intended, Kagome joined in trying to lift him by the legs and cart him away. But he was too heavy. Though quite slim in appearance, the hanyou harbored a density that neither woman expected.

The snake was gaining more power, and would be back at them soon.

A spray of Jaken’s fire staff halted the demon’s recovery, but did nothing as far as eliminating the threat.

With no time to waste, Sango turned to Sesshoumaru.

“Help me lift him!” she ordered. And to his surprise, Sesshoumaru complied. He took orders from no one, least of all human women. But the helplessness he felt throughout this battle was debilitating, and he found he would stoop to great depths to alleviate the useless feeling of watching from the sidelines.

Running to his brother’s side, he grabbed Inuyasha’s legs from Kagome and helped Sango hurriedly rush him away from the snake demon.

Once out of the line of fire, Miroku unleashed his wind tunnel.

Sesshoumaru had seen the move before. Upon first encountering the monk, he had used his cursed hand to swallow half of his ogre minion while it still lived. He would have completed the task, were it not for Naraku’s poisonous bees which the vile hanyou had supplied him with.

But without the harmful insects, there was nothing to stop him this time. In a matter of moments; both halves of the snake were sucked up into his hand, and the battle was finally won.

Sango stayed crouched over Inuyasha. His eyes were barely opened, but he looked up at her gratefully.

“That was incredible, Sango. Thank you.”

Impressed and relieved by the save, he saw fit to tell her so.

“You’re hurt. Are you alright?”

Her eyes raked his form, trying to determine how serious his sustained injuries had been.

He smiled weakly up at her. “I think I’ll live.”

She smiled back down at him, scolding him tauntingly. “Just don’t scare us like that again, or I’ll kill you myself.”

“Sorry.” He tiredly replied. He was still smiling.

Once upon a time, he would have been embarrassed - and angry - that he was not the one to take down the threat. But he took great comfort in knowing that his pack was strong, and would protect him as feverishly as he would them.

They had all done their part. They were strong.

He could rest easy at the thought. Closing his eyes in relief, his smile never left him.

He was proud.

* * *

The miko’s hut seemed to serve as a makeshift infirmary. It had been half an hour since she had taken him to her futon. Cleaning his wounds and wrapping him in bandages, he now rested off the battle’s tole on his form. Sesshoumaru remembered the lecture he received as she treated his own wounds in the cave, and he didn’t envy his brother for the fussing he was surely enduring.

The snake’s timing couldn’t have been worse. The sun had been up now for over an hour. They should have left by now. When the miko exited the shelter of the hut, he did not like the nervousness in her features one bit as she regarded his impatient gaze timidly.

“The time has come. Is he ready to depart?” He tried to conceal his uncertainty with his authoritative demands, but his anxiety was palpable.

Determination dominated her features, though the guilt in her tone was more than obvious.

“We can’t leave.”

He expected her assessment as much as she expected his defiance.

“We have waited long enough. Too long, in fact. I shall not tolerate further procrastination.”

She knew Rin was out there. And she was well aware that time was not on her side. But she had seen Inuyasha withstand terrible injuries before. As the one to usually tend to them, she was well acquainted with various battle wounds, and what they meant for him.

This one was bad. Not the worst she had seen. Not by a longshot. But it would take more than a few hours for him to regain the strength required for their mission.

“He’s really hurt, Sesshoumaru,” she strained to convey the seriousness to his less-than-sympathetic brother. “He is in no shape to travel. He is strong, so he will heal in a couple days tops. But until he is better, we have to put the plan on hold.”

His sneer would normally strike fear in her, or anyone unlucky enough to receive it. But with how many times she had seen it at this point, it was losing its effect. She was becoming immune to Sesshoumaru’s threats.

“Had we left yesterday when This One suggested, we never would have encountered that demon. We may have even found her by now.”

“We had no way of knowing that was going to happen!” She was defensive. But she had call to be. He was attacking her.

“Had I not been transformed as such, I could have easily detected its presence last night.”

He was defensive as well. Though her attacks were more subtle; seeping, from days past. Barbs meant to disarm marinated in his bones until he threatened to crack.

“Yeah, but you didn’t.”

“The half breed should have scented it.” Perhaps true. But he never had high expectations of others. Only of himself. Perhaps he held none to his high standard because he grew weary of disappointment. His own in himself caused him to lash out unjustly.

“What about Jaken? Why don’t you blame him?”

And she was offering excuses. But really, she wasn’t wrong.

If a full-blooded demon could not detect a threat, how could he expect a ‘lowly’ half breed to do as such? Perhaps because he was his father’s son, more would be demanded from the younger brother. Sesshoumaru had always carried the weight of duty and expectation. It almost seemed as if now, in his weakness, he was finally demanding that his brother take the mantle in his stead.

“It was a good plan,” she insisted. Still defending him to no end. “It still is. We just need to wait-”

“This One is through waiting,” he informed her sharply. If he had fangs, they would have snapped. Another sneer met her eyes. “I never should have allowed myself to be swayed by your pack. By you...”

His meaning was more than clear. He hated his brother. Hated his weaknesses, and inadequacies. Hated his inability to rise to the occasion when he needed it most.

Memories were quick in coming from a battle long past. The panther tribe sought him out alone, looking for retribution against the famous son of the powerful dog demon who had fought them ages ago.

He didn’t need Inuyasha then. He could handle the tribe well enough on his own. But any with a soupcon of pride in his heritage, or respect of his great father would have deigned to make the journey to fight in his stead. Once the dog general had fallen, it was up to his sons to uphold his legacy. But Inuyasha would never come. The duty, and burden, was left to him alone. Again.

And now, it seemed, that history would repeat itself.

He was a fool to even consider that the half breed could, or would, be capable of lending him aid.

But this female obviously held sway over the boy’s actions. He took her counsel to heart. And he was certain that is was she who was insisting that he remain at camp to heal. Just as much as she had encouraged the boy to include the humans in Rin’s rescue. It was shameful. No self-respecting demon - even by half - would allow a mere woman to dictate his actions. He’d had enough.

“I will take my leave. Your aid is no longer required.”

He turned from her in dismissal.

“Sesshoumaru-” she tried, but he was well past being receptive. He generously looked over his shoulder, to illustrate his refusal.

“Nor is it desired.”

She stilled. The certainty in his tone and the coldness of his eyes relayed very effectively the finality of his decision. Unsure of what to say, she could only allow him to leave.

He made way to his hut, and gathered his sparing items.

Rage consumed him as he readied for departure, mixed with no small part relief. He was glad to be going, but only wished he would have taken action sooner.

It would be a trying journey. He was woefully underprepared. But it had to be done. These humans were only holding him back.

He exited his hut to find Jaken and Ah-Un waiting for him, and made his way over.

But his progress was halted yet again by the irritating miko. Her aura raged wildly, and he could not help but acknowledge her determined countenance.

“Don’t go,” she pleaded. He would not grace her with his gaze.

“If you do, you will regret it.”

If it was supposed to be a threat, he was in no way intimidated.

“I shall regret not taking action. I already do.”

He continued on his path, but she rushed ahead, blocking him.

“I’m sorry we delayed you.” Her words were genuine, but not helpful in the least. He easily ignored the large, trembling blue eyes which sought to relay her own regret. “ _So_ sorry. I know you wanted to leave sooner.” He didn’t need to affirm it. They both knew she was correct.

“But you can’t let one little setback upend our whole strategy. We have to stay with the plan.”

He still wasn’t looking at her. He maneuvered around her, undaunted.

“I shall. The plan was to leave at daybreak.”

He walked slowly. She followed, pleading with his back.

“The plan was to leave together.”

“Inuyasha has been incapacitated. He is of no use to This One any longer.”

“But he will be,” she insisted. “If you just give him a few days-”

“She will be dead by then.” He finally turned, stilling her with his certainty. He was chillingly calm, and ruthlessly sure. “I cannot wait any longer.”

His statement caused her to falter. To question her own judgment. He gave her an assessing once over, nearly paralyzing her with his sudden intense scrutiny. What he suggested next shocked her.

“Leave him,” he commanded curtly. “Come with me.”

The weight of his words and his attention nearly made her forget herself. The man she so easily detested was somehow now a man she longed to appease; to aid. He requested her assistance. Demanded it. And everything within her clamored to obey. But...

“I can’t...”

It wasn’t true. Both of them knew it. She could go. Could help him. She knew she was able, but she never would have guessed that he recognized it as well.

“You can. You are not useless,” he admitted, almost uncomfortable. “Nor are your friends. We may still scour the villages, with the demons venturing ahead. This One is... unaccustomed to humans. You may assist me in acquiring information. Do you desire to aid Rin still?”

It was a cheap shot. A low blow. He was aware of her compassion, no matter how he accused her of being disingenuous with it in the recent past.

But asking her to leave Inuyasha behind was something she could never do. Not even for Rin.

“Of course I do,” she insisted. She needed him to know that. Though, she was certain that he already did. She was almost angry at the insinuation. “But I won’t leave Inuyasha. And you shouldn’t either.”

Yes, he knew she would refuse. Why even ask?

Perhaps, it was simply to force her to choose. Between the hanyou she loved, and the little girl who it would be evil to deny. He wanted to make her evil. Have her aware that she would selfishly choose love over the life of an innocent.

“You know how badly I want to help find her,” she accused. “Do you trust that?”

But it backfired. She was making him assess her then, and he would.

He studied her a long, breathless moment. The desperation in her eyes. The determination in her stance. Even as a human, her power simmered noticeably to him just above the surface of her skin.

He recognized the flare. When he was a demon, the sizzle of her reiki set his instincts on edge. The hairs at his neck would stiffen involuntarily at the threat she so obviously posed.

What a fool he had been, to ignore such a thing. To write her off as weak and inconsequential. His will to disregard her had blinded him to her ferocity.

But seeing her now, aura flaming not to fight him, but to aid him; desire to help the ones she cared for so palpable that it would cause any who meant harm to flee at the mere sign of her purity... It was humbling. Unavoidable.

Irresistible.

He turned to address the kappa. “New plan,” he informed him. The little toad was at attention. “You will take Ah-Un and go on ahead.” His icy cadence left no room for argument. Not that Jaken would attempt it. He nodded violently.

“Of course, my lord. Perhaps you would like to eat something before we depart-”

“This One will not be traveling with you. You are going alone.”

Two sets of eyes widened at the declaration.

“My lord-”

“Enough time has been wasted. I will not sacrifice more catering to human inadequacies.” It was clear from his tone that he was talking about himself as well.

“Sesshoumaru-sama, you are not-”

“Do not question me.” The toad startled at the insinuation. “You are aware of the decided upon route?”

They had poured over their travel plans meticulously the night before. He nodded again. “Yes, my lord.”

Pleased, Sesshoumaru accepted his response, nodding once in return. “You will go now. And make haste. Do not stop unless absolutely necessary. And do not return without sight or knowledge of her, or of any tiger demon.”

“But what about-”

“When Inuyasha is well, we shall continue on as planned. In the meantime, I am relying on you to make up for the delay. I require your speed and endurance to cover as much land as quickly as possible. Do you understand?”

Sesshoumaru had issued countless demands of him over the years. But never had he expressed such faith, or need of his dutiful retainer. Jaken fought the tears of pride that threatened to fall, though the shining in his bulging eyes left no question of his plight. He puffed his chest. “Yes, sir.”

Sesshoumaru spoke lowly to relay the importance. Though he ignored the miko’s attention, he was aware of his audience. “Without a lead to go on, you are to head to the tigers’ compound in the Northern Lands. You know where it is?”

“I remember the vicinity only vaguely.” They had crossed those lands a time or two in their travels together, but it had been decades. “However, the map was more than clear as to where we are headed.”

“Excellent,” he accepted his response. “Do not hesitate to return with any information This One need be made aware. Otherwise, you are to continue on until your destination is reached. You recall the village path which the rest of us are headed?”

Jaken nodded. “I do.”

“Retrieving her is your only priority, at all costs. However, it would please me to deal with her captors myself. I would like them alive if possible, though her safety is not to be compromised. Is that clear?”

He wanted her back. But the Sesshoumaru was not a merciful being. Second only to her recovery, he would ensure her captors realized their folly. He must make examples of them, to leave no question to others the results of slighting the Lord of the West in any way. But more than his duty called for their blood. Revenge would _please_ him. Jaken was all too aware.

“Yes, my lord.”

“Good. Is there anything more you require before making your journey?”

“No, my lord. This Jaken is ready.”

“Then go.” The imp rose determinedly, and went to get the dragon ready for departure. But before he got far, Sesshoumaru halted his progress. “And Jaken...” 

He turned nervously. He knew that tone well.

“No mistakes.” ‘Or I’ll kill you,’ was the end of that sentence. It need not be said.

With a gulp, he nodded, and continued on his path.

Making eye contact briefly, Sesshoumaru saw the relief which shone in blue eyes. A hint of gratitude was there as well.

Without further comment, he stalked passed the miko.

* * *

He returned to his hut alone, most grateful for the solitude. Normally left to his own devices, Sesshoumaru was finding it unbelievably taxing to endure the presence of ‘comrades’ at seemingly every turn.

He was peerless. Matchless. He required no counsel but his own. He could not recall speaking at length since, well... _ever_ in his life. He could swear his throat was growing sore from overuse.

But unfortunately, that wasn’t the only part of him that was growing at the moment. And his unexplainable hardness from seemingly out of nowhere was just as perplexing as it was disconcerting.

In the cave, he could understand it. Even forgive it.

Though in no way attracted to the human miko who pressed herself against him, it was understandable that he would react while in such a weakened state. Her soft, wanting body proved tempting as it rubbed against him. Coaxing, inadvertently, though neither of them desired it to.

But why now? Fully clothed, and alone, and having endured nothing remotely titillating; what could possibly be provoking this vessel to become suddenly overcome with need?

Perhaps it was stress. Yes, that must be it.

Anxiety and urgency were drawing his instincts to the forefront. It appeared that mortals may use their baser urges to distract them from the troubles they faced in their meager existence. How inconvenient.

But Sesshoumaru was more than eager to prove mastery over this pathetic form. He would be faced with adversities while trapped in this state. And, like he had always done, he would prevail impressively.

Looking down to see the evidence of his arousal through his silks; he regretted discarding his armor, at it could serve to shield - if not stifle - his maleness from view.

His cock strained, pulsed as it pressed greedily against his clothing. The cool feel of the fabric was in pleasing contrast to the blazing heat of his erection.

When Jaken entered his hut suddenly, his desire was immediately snuffed out. Though annoyed by his presence, he was pleased at the respite his vassal’s appearance allowed. It seemed the imp could prove useful in this manner. It was almost too bad he was going.

Relieved by his servant’s tempering effects, he decided to ignore the disrespect of him entering his hut without permission.

“Jaken, should you not have left by now?”

He had been given his orders. It was not like his retainer to waver once instructions were issued. But the way the kappa picked at his robes nervously garnered Sesshoumaru’s unyielding interest.

“Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama. However, I have one last matter to see to before this lowly Jaken departs.”

Though his duties to Rin were usually met with annoyed resignation, the Western Lord was aware that the toad regarded her fondly. She had, at one point, been no more than a pest which must be endured. But as the years passed, Jaken’s concern for the girl was impossible to ignore.

As Sesshoumaru had eventually recognized the child as a member of the pack, Jaken had as well. Perhaps, even more so. Her devotion to her lord was in tune with his own. And though he protested differently, the imp would stop at nothing to see to her rescue.

Therefore; the fact that he had yet to depart was unexpected, and Sesshoumaru was more than a little curious as to what could be delaying him.

“And that is?” he inquired impatiently. 

With no small measure of hesitance, Jaken finally found his courage. “I have a request.”

Sesshoumaru lifted an eyebrow. The only visible sign of his incredulity. “Of me?”

He nodded bravely. “If I may, milord.”

Once in a while, very rarely, Jaken’s curiosity would see to him thoughtlessly questioning his lord’s will. Not out of resistance. But his curious nature was just that- curiosity. Sesshoumaru explained himself to no one. He had no need to. And among his small following, his command would simply be done.

He needed no reason to do, or demand, anything. Their trust in him was proven by seeing his will accomplished without question. If the great Sesshoumaru commanded it, who were they to take issue?

So the fact that his most loyal follower would put a halt to his most urgent of desires, was truly something to behold. If Sesshoumaru was able, he would have appeared awestruck. He was actually dying of curiosity himself.

“By all means,” he implored condescendingly. “I am fascinated.”

Jaken fiddled with his robes again, trying to gain the courage to proceed. But he had already come this far. Garnering a bravery he had ever only fantasized about possessing, he finally lifted his gaze to meet the unfamiliar violet eyes of the most brutal and accomplished murderer he had ever encountered. It took all he had not to stutter.

“I would request that no harm to come to the miko when I am gone.” Steeling himself, he elaborated to convey the importance. “In fact, I’m afraid I must insist.”

“Insist?”

He wanted to flinch, wanted to retreat. To go back on his statement and grovel and beg for forgiveness of his insolence. He was nothing compared to this demon- even as a human. He was _nothing_.

But his mind had been made up. He put his life on the line to continue, and took a deep breath.

“The miko went to great pains to ensure milord’s survival on that night in the cave,” he reminded, confident that he wasn’t imparting new knowledge. “Putting herself in great peril to do so; would you not agree?” It was rhetorical. For demanding answers from Sesshoumaru was a foolhardy endeavor. “Such a gesture must not result in punishment.”

Sesshoumaru’s eyes narrowed, unsure of what to make of his retainer’s bold address. “You suggest that stripping bare and pressing into This One’s nudity amounts to ‘great pains?’”

He was trying to change the subject with accusations. Or at very least, to lessen the gravity of his assessment. But Jaken would not be deterred. “Such an act could have a high potential for death; could it not, sire?” he ventured.

“Under normal circumstances,” Sesshoumaru conceded, cutting his gaze to blunt nails for just a moment. “However, she cleverly saw to it that no death shall befall her at my hands. You are aware of that.”

“Yes, milord.”

Trying to ascertain his motives, Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes again. Despite his humanity, he somehow managed to look incredibly intimidating still.

“You question This Sesshoumaru’s honor?”

“Never, milord!” he insisted, nearly shrieking in his assurance. “This lowly Jaken would never dream of it!”

“Then why endanger your own life by assuming to make such demands of This One? And for a human miko, no less.”

Desperate to relay his point, the kappa ventured onward. He had come this far. There was no point in backpedaling now. He looked Lord Sesshoumaru right in his eyes.

“Though on your honor she must never be killed, it still would not prevent other injury to occur. And while certainly less permanent, humans are susceptible to damage that would not harm any demon. Injuries of perhaps, a less physical nature.”

Sesshoumaru eyed him icily, menacingly. Jaken had witnessed that condemning glare many times, and the recipient of it had never been given more than a moment to live. Every fiber in his being told Jaken to flee as his lord inched closer, unrushed, though powerfully sure of his movements. Somehow, he remained still. Unwavering.

“You are already speaking quite freely, Jaken. It would behoove you to speak plainly as well. What is your point?”

His annoyance was as clear as the threat he implied, and Jaken was more than inclined to make himself clear as well. As quickly as possible.

“The miko is sensitive, as human women tend to be,” he informed him, no uncertainty in his tone. “If I have learned anything from watching over Rin, I have learned that cruel words can hurt them just as badly as any weapon. And milord is quite clinical in his administration of both.” Flattery was second nature, when aimed at the great Lord of the West. Though he could not recall a time when he ever saw fit to pander. 

“Asking that her life, and the lives of her packmates, be spared is no great reward for saving a magnificent life such as yours. Some may argue that it is even insufficient.” He met his eyes sternly, looking for any signs of disagreement. He was not at all surprised to find there were none. “I am quite confident that milord would have granted her as much anyhow, had she not made the request.”

The imp was correct, though Sesshoumaru would never have him know it. He recalled the discomfort he had felt in the cave when she had made her request.

Killing the miko was no longer an option, and he had almost told her as much. But he withheld. Her actions on that night had more than earned her life. And as much as he loathed it, he was aware that he still owed the woman a debt. But he had appeased his honor by allowing her friends to be included in his oath to her. However, he could not deny that the terms did not completely satisfy him.

Though she had definitely been using his agreement to her full advantage. Her abrasive behavior tested his word to her at every turn. It made it very easy for him to speak at her with disdain.

But Sesshoumaru was apparently not satisfied at the toad’s assessment. Jaken continued to beseech.

“She saved your life, milord. And in doing so; she has given this Jaken the greatest gift he has ever received, thereby earning his respect, and a great debt of him as well. I am sure you agree that your normal manner of address in regards to her is no longer appropriate. Cruelty towards the miko would be dishonorable.”

Sesshoumaru was beginning to discern his minion's intentions, but he wanted painful clarification.

“What are you implying, Jaken?” he demanded dangerously. It took all the imp had not to falter at the scrutiny.

“You must treat the miko with kindness.”

“I _must_?”

Sesshoumaru didn’t blink. Neither did Jaken. Instead, he replied confidently, very sure of his words.

“Yes. She saved your life. She is worthy of your respect. Therefore, I am asking you... No,” he shook his head, averting his gaze to draw a long, painful breath and release it; a form of self-placation. He met his angry, incredulous eyes again. “I am _telling_ you to treat her as she deserves. As honor demands she be treated.”

Sesshoumaru’s eyes widened noticeably. He nearly sputtered in response, but he kept in control; pausing only a moment to articulate himself calmly. His voice was very low, and very slow. “Do you realize what you are saying?”

“I do,” Jaken nodded grimly. Sesshoumaru forced himself not to react. “And I would have you realize that in failing to do so, my lord would be relaying that he no longer wishes me to continue in his service.” With his lord stunned silent at the declaration, Jaken took the opportunity to press on.

“I will go find Rin, regardless of whether you command it. But know that upon my return, if I find the miko is in a worse state than I have left her, and it is your doing, I shall consider my servitude terminated. I shall return to mudhills and resume my leadership position among my brethren. For there, I would know I could serve among honorable demons. Do you hear me, milord?”

In all his years of service, no matter how unpalatable the situation, Jaken had never spoken to his master as he had now. Would never.

Sesshoumaru wondered what had changed to inspire such rare confidence, and yes, defiance in his most loyal and trusted servant. But he didn’t wonder long.

Were he not currently human, there is no way the imp would find the courage to address him in such a disrespectful manner. And though he expected a degree of insolence from every other being in existence, the last thing he would have considered would be for _Jaken_ to make demands of him. It wasn’t as if he still couldn’t end his life in a heartbeat. And it was not unlikely that he wouldn't now. But still, the audacity...

But perhaps it was not simply his human form which inspired such confidence. Despite his temerity, Jaken’s loyalty was true. In fact, he was quite confident that even if rendered a helpless insect, the imp would grovel and bow endlessly, and obsequiously. Sesshoumaru’s knowledge of this made his retainer’s request that much powerful. The imp desperately wanted to find Rin. Of that, there was no question.

No. The reason Jaken risked his hide to confront him so boldly was for the miko’s protection. Something about the young priestess inspired a devoted awe which was a mystery to the Western Lord. What was it about this woman, that would cause otherwise self-preserving demons to stick out their necks so recklessly? He simply could not understand it.

Jaken was weak. A fool. And apparently just as sentimental and pitying enough to be taken in by her ‘caring’ nature. But he would not be taken in. He would not be fooled. He would also not compromise Rin’s position further by arguing at length with his vassal, and teaching him his rightful place.

Oh yes, the time would come for such glaring offenses to be righted. But that time was not now. There were more important tasks at hand. Human eyes darkened on par with his distaste. 

He issued his last demand harshly, his word not to be questioned. “Go.”

Convinced that his point got across, and amazed to still have his skin, the toad demon turned on his heal and made to rush to his duty with his life intact. But he was halted.

“And Jaken...” That tone again. The one that needed no elaboration. He turned quickly, already resigned to his fate.

“If you do not return with Rin, or news of her whereabouts, you do not return at all. Do you understand?”

Still buzzing from his unprecedented courage, he nodded assuredly. “Hai, my lord. I will bring her home, or I will die trying.” His promise. _His_ oath.

Surprised to make it out of his lord’s hut alive, he shut the door, only to lean his back against it. The breath he released was dramatic, and relieved. Smiling to himself, almost in disbelief, he enjoyed his brief moment of victory. But only for a second.

Gathering himself quickly, he made haste towards the dragon.

* * *

After Jaken had taken to the skies with Ah-Un, Kagome returned to her hut to tend to her alpha.

Inuyasha could converse, but she could tell it was zapping his strength to remain lucid.

She had done all she could for him for the time being. But when much needed rest quickly claimed his battle-weary form, she remained a while longer to watch over him as he healed.

When she finally left his side to emerge from her hut, she found Sesshoumaru at his normal spot beneath the tree he had apparently claimed.

He was a picture of serenity, but she suspected it was deceptive. The Western Lord was certainly quite tense, and with good reason. But years of practice made it all but impossible to discern.

Had she not known him so well, she would swear he looked relaxed. But subtle differences in his demeanor alerted her to his agitation. She wondered how after only a matter of days, she could claim to ascertain his moods. Simple common sense likely played no small part.

The closer she got to him, she realized that he was meditating. Perhaps these sparing moments of solitude allowed him to keep tight rein on his emotions. She briefly considered leaving him be, but her feet kept moving toward him.

He still wore the hooded sweatshirt she had lent him that first day, and she had to bite her cheek to keep from snickering at the sight he made.

Despite the centuries she knew he had lived, he looked no more than a broody teenager in the modern era clothing. He could have passed for a senior at her high school. She amused herself with the thought that if she were to bring him to class, he would be quite popular with the girls at least. Her squealing friends, for certain. Just the thought of his pained reaction to the unappreciated attention had a giggle threatening to escape through her lips.

While she was entertaining ridiculous fantasies, she imagined her status rising among her classmates were she to bring him along to a function as her date.

Where were these silly thoughts coming from? She must be losing it.

But how often would she get to see him like this? His haori was still wet, drying at the speed paint in the cool winter weather after its washing. She decided to enjoy the sight while it lasted.

He was aware of her approach, but did not open an eye until she had been standing before him for a long, patient moment.

When he did crack an eyelid, sliding his gaze to her wordlessly, he noticed her holding a bag in her hands. The oddness of the material told him it was not from this era.

“This is for you,” she informed him, holding it out for him to take. He eyed it curiously, but made no move to accept it. He managed to look mildly offended that she would even consider he might appreciate a gift.

“What is it?”

“Just a little care package. I brought these things for everyone in the group. Since you’re staying with us now, I thought you should have them.”

The slightly clipped manner in which she spoke told him that it was not simply a friendly gesture. ‘Another favor,’ he surmised contemptuously.

He was dying to know what she had procured for him, but he resisted his impulse to take anything from her. He prided himself on being self-sufficient. And he was not inclined to accumulate any more debt when it came to the young woman. He closed his eyes again to resume his meditation.

“Unnecessary.”

She wasn’t deterred. Inuyasha had been just as welcoming at taking her things from the future. But after trying ramen for the first time, he forgot his convictions easily. She would just have to find Sesshoumaru’s version of ramen, to tempt him into sampling the conveniences from her time.

“Maybe for a demon,” she smirked, trying to sound more friendly despite her feelings towards the unpleasant man. “But you’re human now.”

As if he needed reminding. Why must this woman persist in stating the obvious? Particularly when the obvious was something he longed to forget, if only for a brief moment in his day.

“And humans need a little help taking care of themselves.”

There was no point in ignoring her. When her mind was set on something, the miko was impossible to dissuade.

Resigned to the fact that his concentration had been broken, he finally reached out to accept his gift. Resisting would only draw this encounter out longer.

She seemed to know how to get him to indulge her, simply by way of her annoying determination. Curious, he began pulling items out of the bag.

“That’s a toothbrush,” she informed him, as he studied the strange item in his hand. “I’m sure as a demon you didn’t need to clean your teeth. But as a human, if you don’t, they will become unhealthy. I can show you how to use it after dinner if you want,” she offered generously. But his disinterest couldn’t be more clear.

“I am certain I can fathom how it works.”

She took no offense in his refusal. It was fully expected, and she vowed not to get invested in his interest- or lack thereof- in her era. “Suit yourself.”

He returned it to the bag, and pulled out the next item for inspection. He held the strange container to his nose for a sniff, more out of habit than anything. Though he seemed more interested in the odd encasement than the viscous substance inside.

“I noticed your hair doesn’t keep as clean as it used to, either. Wash that through it when you bathe. The other one will make it smoother. And I got you a hairbrush too.”

Feeling no need to respond, he continued to rummage.

“There is also soap in there. It’s not the kind Inuyasha likes, but I figured you wouldn’t want to smell like him anyway.”

“You surmise correctly.”

She ignored the implied insult, and continued with her spiel. “We eat breakfast every morning together, and dinner every night. There are a few snacks in there if you get hungry in between. I suggest rationing them strategically. If you think of anything you want, you can let me know, and I will try to find them on my next visit.”

Growing bored with her orientation, he halted his perusal of the bag of strange items and placed it down at his side.

“I keep the first aid supplies,” she continued. “If you need them at any time, just ask for them. But you need to tell me. I can’t read your mind.”

“Probably for the best.”

She refused to be goaded into any further arguments with him. She wasn’t sure if he was trying to shake her. But she conceded that he simply was unused to being civil. He wasn’t the only one who could pretend to be unaffected. She refused to let him win.

“Unless you are injured, everyone helps at mealtimes. After breakfast today, you can take the dishes to the stream to wash them.”

Trying not to appear put out, he chose the path of least resistance. The purpose of her visit was clear, and he was in no mood for proving dominance at the moment. He just wanted her to go, and allow him a moment of peace.

“Anything else?” he nearly sighed out.

Pleased with her progress, she got to the heart of her intrusion with a confidant nod. “Actually, yes.”

He had suspected as much. He gifted her with his attention, and actually waited politely for her to say her piece. “We treat each other with kindness around here. Inuyasha is our alpha. You will treat him with respect.”

Her request was not wholly unexpected. But he would not give her any misleading responses. “You cannot force one to feel respect.”

“That may be. But you will act respectfully nonetheless.”

Unable to help himself, he challenged her claim with a defiance that came all too naturally. “If he is your alpha, why is he not the one barking out orders?”

And he really wanted to hear her answer. She, as the other humans had, named Inuyasha as their alpha. And though it was clearly an unconventional pack, he was fascinated at the dynamics between the comrades.

A traditional pack had a clear leader, whose word was law. For some reason, the hanyou allowed this miko to challenge him endlessly. And the others would often take sides with her against him. To any observing demon, it would appear that the miko was fighting him for dominance.

But the girl didn’t seem to have any interest in being the one in charge officially. She seemed more content with asserting her will from her place at the boy’s side. She had the makings of a supportive bitch, but none of the submissive quality. He quickly disregarded the errant thought, not willing to acknowledge that he had just compared her to the females of his kind in any way.

Instead, he waited for her to once again state the obvious. To tell him that Inuyasha wasn’t issuing orders because he was injured, and currently unable. That he was healing, and in his place, she would be the one to whom all must adhere. But she didn’t.

Clearly holding her tongue, she only fixed him with a tight smile. “Breakfast will be ready in an hour.” And with that, she turned and left him.

‘Finally,’ he rejoiced internally.

It annoyed him that the remainder of his meditation became plagued by thoughts of the strange woman from the future, and her vexing place in this pack.


	9. Consultation Fee

Breakfast came and went without excitement. Inuyasha wasn’t there, as he remained in Kagome’s hut to heal while his meal had been delivered to him. The miko was still with him, likely keeping the boy company, and Sesshoumaru was grateful for the silence. She seemed to be making small talk when she wasn’t making demands of him. And now that his true packmates had departed on their mission, he preferred to be left to his own devices.

The monk had left after the meal, but none had spoken of where he was going. As Sesshoumaru didn’t care, it was of no consequence. Uninterested in returning to his own hut, he simply sat beneath his tree, and allowed his mind to wander; if only to pass the time. He tried to be productive, considering more possible scenarios for when they could finally see their plans through. But he admitted that it was not of much use to predict when so much remained uncertain.

He noticed the slayer approaching him in his periphery. But he elected to ignore her, as he was wont to do. That is, until he couldn’t.

“Mind if I sit?”

He hadn’t any contact with the woman since joining forces to aid his dimwitted brother against the snake demon early that morning. In fact, he had taken no time to acquaint himself with the seemingly lower-status members of this pack ever since his reluctant addition. Why should he?

But she would be his ally in battle. From what he had witnessed, her fighting skills were acceptable... for a human. Any female who could give your average demon a run for his money was certainly deserving of the smallest hint of acknowledgement. So he dug deep within himself, and trudged it up.

“Do as you please.”

“Careful, I might take you up on that.”

What did she mean by that? Humans had such a strange way of speaking to one another. But he discerned from her smirk that she intended to be friendly. Rather than encourage elaboration, he simply remained silent. If she were anything like the miko, she would explain herself without prompting.

“Just kidding.”

He didn’t understand human jokes. He couldn’t for the life of him understand what was so fucking funny to them, when their very lives threatened to end at nearly every moment.

Though, to be fair; he rarely understood the jovial tones demons possessed, on the rare occasions that they did. Even as a pup, his father - and father’s comrades - put his sense of humor into question.

Undeterred by his persisting silence, she took on the task of filling the great chasm between them.

“Thanks for helping me back there this morning. Your brother is a lot heavier than he looks.”

The statement rang true. One of the worst things about being human was the depletion of his strength. Even among demons, Sesshoumaru could perform awesome feats even one-handed. When he had gone to lift his brother, he was startled at the actual effort he had to display to complete such a simple task.

He was disappointed to acknowledge that he would have tired very quickly if forced to carry him on his own. It was a wonder that mortals were able to survive at all with such limitations.

It made the slayer’s praise of him perplexing.

“But you probably didn’t notice. You’re so strong, after all. Great job with all that wood chopping, by the way.”

He barely heard the woman as he mulled over his physical weakness. He recalled his appointed chore, and how taxing it had been. It was amazing how such a simple thing caused an ache in his shoulders which he had only attained previously after his most challenging battles. He restrained the urge to rub at his knotted muscles.

“You really are in great shape. How do you keep your body so... well, perfect?”

He wanted to scoff. He was as far from perfect as he had ever been. But it pleased him still that she recognized at least his superiority among humans. Though his pride was quickly kept at bay when he reminded himself that he was only being compared to weak human men. It was nothing to preen over.

When he errantly realized that she had asked him a question, he somehow saw fit to answer. At least this woman was not as disrespectful as the other.

“The art of the sword is a demanding skill to maintain. I practiced every day, when I had them in my possession.”

He hated the sympathy in her eyes at the mention of his stolen items. He briefly wondered if the thieves had managed to unlock the secret to wielding such great weapons. But those fears were quickly disregarded. With how difficult it had been for him, he greatly doubted that any other could ever use the swords. He only hoped that they would be recoverable, once tracked down.

“It's so awful that they were taken. I know you got one from your father. And I was there when you got your other one, remember?”

He vaguely recalled her being present. Though he was understandably preoccupied. And even if he weren’t, he doubted he would pay much heed to the presence of an inconsequential human. In fact, it was her great privilege to witness such a feat, as far as he was concerned. It seemed she agreed.

“That was really amazing,” she gushed. “Your power is really incredible.”

Finally, some recognition. Not that he craved it. Certainly not from her. But with how abrasive the miko had been toward him, it was nice to know that at least some were aware of his greatness, and respected it. He was growing weary of not receiving the acclaim that he knew he deserved. Perhaps not all mortals were so oblivious.

Therefore, he deigned to agree.

“Hn. It was.” Emphasis on the was.

Sango was pleased at finally earning a response. She knew that Sesshoumaru was a _tad_ narcissistic. It became clear that if she wanted his attention, or participation in conversing, that the topic of him was a fine one to stay with.

“You will get it back. Your swords too,” she assured him. She was trying to flatter him, but she realized that she meant it. It just seemed so impossible that Sesshoumaru could be beaten. If there was a way, this man would find it. It was kind of satisfying to be on his team for once. He made her feel like victory was all but assured.

Still, she wanted to offer her aid personally. To be sure that he knew that it was not only pack ties which assured him her loyalty.

“Just know that I will do anything I can to help you, so don’t be shy to ask, okay?”

Equating Sesshoumaru with ‘shy’ sounded ridiculous as it left her mouth. No, shy was not the word. But perhaps reluctant, or unwilling, were better suited.

She doubted he would ever voice any desire of her aid in his cause. So she wanted to make it as easy for him as possible. It was clear that whatever was to become of the two of them, would be for her to initiate.

Luckily, Sango was not shy about proclaiming what she wanted.

“I mean it. If there is anything I can do for you - _anything_ \- please let me know.”

He didn’t react to her statement. He didn’t even look at her.

She huffed internally.

She was used to Miroku turning everything into a sexual innuendo... Even when it wasn’t intended. Now that it was, it appeared that Sesshoumaru was not picking up what she was laying at his feet. This was going to take more effort than she was used to.

“Like, now that you can't train with your sword, I bet you need another method to keep yourself fit...”

Not one to speak at length, he still found this conversation acceptable. Keeping in practice with his physical training was one of the few pleasures he was able to find as of late. They kept him sane, and indeed in top form. As much as one as he could currently claim to be.

“Indeed. Kata is an acceptable substitute. This One practices his formations daily.”

The idea of him working out his body caused a pleasurable pressure between her thighs. If he was working his form, she would need to begin rising early enough to witness it. But maybe she could convince him to give her a private showing...

“Maybe there is something else you can do.” She inched a little closer, though his focus remained on the horizon. “Something with another person. Something you can do with me...”

He still wasn’t grasping the meaning of her statement.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t been hit on countless times by demonesses. He had. But he had never entertained the idea that a human might desire him in such a manner. He didn’t consider them the same species, because, well... they weren’t. To him, it was the equivalent if a cat rubbed against his leg.

More confused than he cared to admit; he finally turned his gaze upon Sango, to find her regarding him with an intense, yet somehow bashful countenance.

“Or maybe you would prefer to do something _to_ me...”

He blinked.

The only thing he had ever desired to do to a human was to wipe them from this plane of existence. He was fairly confident that that wasn’t what she had in mind.

The way she bit her lip nervously was enticing, however. And he couldn’t help but engage further in this strange exchange.

“Such as?”

She smiled softly, and shrugged slightly.

“I'm just saying, it’s so cold around here lately. At times like this, sometimes the best physical activities can be performed indoors. In your hut, or, in mine...”

He had no idea what humans did to keep warm within their huts, as he had never been privy to the experience.

When he was around them, all he ever noted was the rightful fear they felt in his presence.

He was curious as to what she was referring. Perhaps later, he would indulge in asking what it was that humans did to keep their meager forms fit in the confines of their homes.

He tilted his head at her in assessment, and she found the action unbelievably adorable.

“You share your hut with the miko. Perhaps it would be more prudent to perform such activities with her.” His advice was offered innocently, though it seemed to elicit a more salacious reaction.

Sango did her best to appear scandalized, though in no way offended. A giggle escaped her, as a large grin overtook her features.

“Oh, you’re bad!”

Oh, he was more than bad. He was terrible. The worst. Particularly where any human was concerned. So why was this woman so relaxed around his terrifying presence? Surely, even as a mortal, she was aware of the devastation he could inflict. Had inflicted...

She lightly pushed against his shoulder, though obviously intended him no harm. He could only watch the spot where she had dared to make brief contact, completely unaccustomed to anyone touching him so familiarly, and without fear.

He should be affronted, but he could only watch on with an unexplainable interest.

“I love Kagome, but I don’t want to engage in such things with her. Only a man can perform such acts satisfactorily. And you seem like a man who knows how to... satisfy.”

Satisfy?

Yes, there were still many things Sesshoumaru could perform satisfactorily. He could maim her. Kill her. Break her beyond repair. Just because he held a human form, did not mean he had forgotten how to render a human useless.

He wasn’t sure what feats she was implying that only a human man could accomplish. But he was more than certain that if assigned such a task, he could excel beyond any other.

“I may appear human, but I still possess a demon’s soul. I assure you, I am no man.”

That smile again, packed with both promise and threat.

Never had a human woman regarded him so boldly. And something in her eyes called to him to rise to the challenge... whatever it was.

She gave him a very assessing once over, approval more than apparent in her gaze.

“Well, you sure look like one. Quite a good one, I might add. And as long as you have all the parts, I won't be complaining.”

Parts? There, she was mistaken.

Sesshoumaru was a minimalist by nature. But even the few items he valued enough to carry with him were no longer at his disposal.

Whatever he might need for such activities, he would need to borrow. Should he agree...

She registered his confusion, and placed a bold hand on his upper arm.

He didn’t know why he allowed it. But he made no effort to prevent turning his head to watch her hand as it softy touched him.

“It must be really hard for you. Going through all this, I mean. Transforming, and losing Rin... it’s got to be very stressful.”

For the life of him, he couldn’t offer a response.

“We all need a little relief sometimes. I think that the comfort of a woman could do you a world of good.”

She was still stroking his arm, but he tore his gaze from it to look her in the face again - a face he could swear was closer than it had been a moment ago.

“Would you like that, Sesshoumaru? Would you like to blow off some steam with me?”

He raised a thin eyebrow.

“By way of physical activities?”

“Exactly.”

“Within the walls of your hut?”

“Or yours. Now you’re getting it.”

He really wasn’t. His mind only supplied him with kata moves, though he had no idea how such things could be better enacted with the help of a partner. He had only ever practiced such things alone. But humans did tend to rely more on one another for support...

“What of the monk’s interference?”

He only meant that the monk’s presence in his hut would prove disruptive for their training. But of course, she assumed he had meant in regards to their complicated relationship.

“He’s gone one village over, probably visiting a girlfriend. He won't be back until late.”

Yes, Miroku had girls in every adjacent village.

Sango had always been aware of them. As it was, the monk had made it no secret.

In her foolishness, she had professed that she didn’t mind his wandering eye. She was more than confident that she would have him as hers in time.

But when time came, and he still sought other women; she had become bitter.

She conceded that it was her fault. It is naive to believe you can change a man like that.

As she began to understand that he would never be monogamous, they had begun growing further apart.

“This One was under the impression that you were his intended.”

“So was I,” she admitted. “But things change. And if he wants to spend time with another, I see no harm in doing so as well. An eye for an eye, don’t you agree?”

Realization was finally beginning to dawn on the Western Lord. Somewhat scandalized that he had been considered in her plans for retaliation, he pressed them down as not to appear caught off guard.

He only shifted his eyes sideward.

“Perhaps.”

“You understand then.” She finally removed her hand from his arm, and he was grateful. He would never admit how uncomfortable he suddenly was.

“Look, you don’t have to decide right now. I know this is a lot to take in. Just think about it. And whenever you’re ready, we can get together and... train. Okay?”

But he was more uncomfortable with the fact that he was actually considering the proposal.

His human body wanted contact. It _strained_ for it many times now, ever since his transformation.

And though the idea of laying with a human was still distasteful, he was considering the benefits of allowing himself an outlet for his frustrations.

Could he do it? Could he live with himself if he did? And, less importantly, would the poor girl survive the experience?

She was an accomplished warrior, after all...

She seemed to notice his hesitation. And not wanting to scare him off, she lessened the tension a bit.

“You know where to find me. Just let me know.”

He remained speechless as she rose to leave him with his thoughts.

“I’ll be waiting.”

She winked, a shy blush adorning her features - along with a smile - and made off for her hut.

* * *

Without a weapon to practice with, Sesshoumaru had been keeping up with his physical training in the form of martial arts. Watching his perfect form for a moment, Kagome considered that perhaps she should take him to visit a human market.

There had to be a human sword he could wield that he would not completely disapprove of. And though he was an excellent wood-chopper; he might be more comfortable if he was able to help them by fighting, particularly with Inuyasha’s injuries preventing him from eliminating any threats at present.

The thought caused her contempt for him to wane to more of a sympathy. Her thoughtless wish had taken everything from him. His swords, his heritage, Rin... Maybe she was being too harsh on him. She knew that he must badly want his young ward back. And this was all her fault, after all. She should cut him a little slack.

He noticed her approaching him, but didn’t stop his movements until his latest form had been completed. When it was, he stilled, and she handed him his newly washed haori.

He moved to grab it. He did not thank her for her efforts, but she wasn’t expecting him to. He remained silent, and he regarded her with no disdain. She hated that she took it as a compliment.

His bar for pleasantries was really quite low. Perhaps if others required more of him, he would begin to offer it.

She turned to leave, but the sound of his voice stopped her progress.

“The slayer came to speak with me.” Oh no.

She turned back to listen.

“Human colloquialisms are still lost on This One. However, I believe she has invited me to tryst.”

She certainly hadn’t wasted any time.

She looked at him uncomfortably, though her curiosity caused her to pry.

“Are you going to do it?”

He shrugged a shoulder.

Well, she hadn’t expected that. Mr. ‘I hate all humans’ suddenly wasn’t opposed to climbing on top of one? Her incredulity came upon her features unbidden.

“You mean to tell me that you are actually considering doing - _that_ \- with a human? Do you even like her?”

“I have no opinion either way,” he offered casually, though he couldn’t seem to look her in the eye at the admission. “Under normal circumstances, I would never consider it. But this new form I have taken has been rather... _demanding_ as of late. I do not know how you mortals can endure your biology. It is very distracting.”

She had become slightly irritable. It appeared that at the end of the day, men would be men after all. Even if they used to be dogs. Though she could draw parallels there too.

“So basically, you want to get laid.”

“It is nothing I want,” he insisted, annoyed at the insinuation. Why did he feel the need to explain himself to her? “I fear it is something I may need, if only to clear my head.”

She wanted to roll her eyes.

Sure, she was the only adult in her pack that was a virgin still. But how could everyone view such intimate things so casually? Maybe she was naïve, but she was still holding out hope that there was a bit of romance left in the world.

When she finally decided to sleep with someone, she hoped there would be more to it than simply sating her base desires. Or his.

“That’s not really a good reason to have sex,” she opined somewhat scoldingly. She was beginning to feel a bit like her mother. Or like a sex ed teacher, pleading with her students to keep it in their pants.

“It’s not like it will cure you, you know? It might feel good for a minute, but your urges will come roaring back in an instant.”

She didn’t expect that her opinion would be of any consequence to him. That’s why she was more than a little shocked to find that he actually seemed to be taking her words into account.

“What should I do?”

She was taken aback, nearly stilled stiff with disbelief. “You’re asking me?”

He nodded, passive mask in place.

She shook herself from her stupor, and cut her gaze downward. “Do whatever you want. It’s not really my business.”

“It is if I make it so.” He ventured a step closer, and fought the urge to tilt her chin up to him and demand her focus.

“As unpleasant as it may be, you seem to understand the workings of your race better than any mortal I know. Your advice in this matter would be of value.”

She was... flattered. That was by far the nicest thing he had ever said to her, not that it was much of a competition. She couldn’t understand how pleased she was at the unexpected admission.

If her words held any weight with him, even a miniscule amount, she considered it her duty to steer him in the right direction. She took on this newfound responsibility earnestly.

“Well, then I guess my advice is not to do it. She may think she wants this now, but I only see it causing trouble... for both of you. It would be best not to take part.”

He was almost relieved at her assessment. He had come to the same conclusion himself, but he was glad to have his reaction seconded. He feared that he was resisting on account of some sort of trepidation. He would never back down from a challenge.

He still regarded humans as unworthy of his attentions. Though, something about the slayer’s offer had piqued his interest.

But demanding biology aside, he agreed that it was a bad idea.

After considering her words another moment, he finally nodded once at her counsel.

Kagome released a quiet breath. She didn’t know why she was so relieved.

Matter decided, he simply returned to his kata practice.

The surreal conversation was still swimming in her head, as she absentmindedly watched him perform his graceful movements.

She envied his discipline. His motions were flawless. The way his muscles reacted as he fluidly moved from one position to another clearly displayed his strength and agility. It almost looked like he was performing a dance, while fighting some invisible opponent.

She continued to watch in awe, admiring his perfect form no small measure of jealousy. ‘How does he do that? So unfair.’

He didn’t seem to mind that she was watching him. At least, he hadn’t indicated that she should go. If he would allow her to remain, she wondering if perhaps he would extend his generosity a bit further.

“That’s pretty good. I’ve always been interested in kata.” Her statement earned no response, but she saw an opportunity to make use of the resource she had in former dog demon. It didn’t hurt to ask.

“Would you be willing to teach me sometime?” she asked hopefully, somewhat nervous that he would refuse.

He had made no secret of his dislike of her. And though the feeling was mutual, she still desired to be cordial. He was a reasonable man, if nothing else. Perhaps he would indulge her. They would be pack, after all. At least for the time being.

They had to trust each other enough to look out for one another in their travels, in battle or otherwise. It would behoove him to see that she was in as good of condition as she could be.

“I have nothing but time, it would seem,” he offered, never halting his movements. "We may begin now, if you like."

His dislike of her aside, Sesshoumaru appreciated one’s desire to find ways to bettering themselves. If she wanted to improve in this way, he would not deny the assistance he could offer in that regard. There were far worse ways to pass the time, especially now that the slayer’s suggestion had been rendered unacceptable.

“Oh, I’ve got more chores to do.” Unprepared for his immediate acceptance, she gestured back to their sleeping quarters. But she didn’t want to blow the opportunity. “How about later?”

“As you wish.”

She watched him a moment more, before shaking herself again. She didn’t know what had changed, but ever since Jaken left with Ah-Un, he had been noticeably less prickly with her. Maybe the knowledge that the demons were actively searching for Rin put him slightly at ease.

Was that all he wanted? She supposed it made sense. Maybe there was a chance that once the rest of them joined the search, his mood would lift even more.

For the first time since he had joined them, Kagome felt optimistic.

* * *

Once immersed in the human village, Sesshoumaru was furious at the ease with which he was received. He had not spent much time in the presence of mortals, but he felt he preferred how they previously reacted to him: with well-placed fear.

Now, he could walk through the town unnoticed. Well, mostly.

The women of the village were fixing him with lingering glances, and the males that accompanied regarded him with a loathing he had never known. His first impulse was to shut down their hostility by way of his silent intimidation. However, a stipulation of his being brought along on this excursion was his promise to the miko that he would ‘be nice.’ So, he settled on the next best thing: ignoring them completely, to show how unaffected he was. He managed to make his aloofness seem almost aggressive.

Once the monk had returned from his visit in the neighboring village, the miko had proposed that the three of them embark on this little outing to a nearby market. Apparently, it was a place that was patronized quite frequently by this pack when provisions were in order, and they felt comfortable enough to travel there with less of an arsenal at their disposal; her bow would be left behind, and the monk himself would serve as sufficient protection.

Sango was tasked with the duty of watching over Inuyasha as he healed in the miko’s hut, and she had announced that she would spend her idle hours reinforcing her weapon.

The shopping trip had been the miko’s idea. She seemed to believe that arming the Western Lord with a weapon suited to his new abilities would serve each of them well. She seemed to be aware of his desire to fight alongside them during the battle with the snake demon, and each of them was more valuable to the rest of the pack when they were able to participate. On top of that; once finally able to set out on their journey to find Rin, it was more than likely that they would encounter hostile forces, and everyone agreed that Sesshoumaru would need a means of protecting himself. Particularly with his ability to rub almost everyone the wrong way.

She also seemed to believe that in addition to adding strength to the pack, practicing with his weaponry would serve as a fine distraction of his current troubles. He found that he could not disagree with the sentiment.

He also got the feeling that this trip was meant to serve as a reward; to placate him, for his agreement to remain with them while his half-brother slept off his injuries.

Though never venturing far from one another, he had been allowed some freedom from his chaperones to peruse the small shop which sold a variety of weaponry.

The one size fits all offering of murder tools was not ideal.

The best weapons were commissioned; specialized, with the wielder in mind, to be fine-tuned to his personal needs and abilities. And though one such as Totosai could most likely create something suitable for even his human form, such an undertaking would take time that they did not have.

Not to mention, the old curmudgeon was insufferable enough when he was terrified of him. Sesshoumaru had no desire to withstand the old man’s insolence were he to be made aware of his current state.

Way up ahead; he could see the monk patronizing a shop which sold edible handmade delicacies, though from the looks of it; he seemed more interested in the pretty young daughters of the older woman who manned the shop. Not that he held back in his flirting with the older woman as well.

The miko was several stands down, admiring the various fabrics of another shop, and speaking amicably with the owner about the prices of some of the already fashioned clothing. From the friendly banter occurring between the man and she, it appeared that they had already made each other's acquaintance.

Distracted from his inspection of another less than impressive sword; he let his eyes wander once more to Kagome, to marvel at her own choice of attire.

He was aware of her strange manner of dress. The scandalous green skirt she wore was nothing he hadn’t seen before. Only a select few times had he ever seen her in more traditional miko clothing. And more recently, she had been wearing much more covering attire to compensate for the bone-chilling weather as of late. The material from her time was strange, but he recognized that it was well stitched, and appeared to be of high quality. It had served its purpose, at least.

But for this trip, she had changed back into her usual ridiculously revealing outfit. The only difference was that she had some odd, transparent covering on her usually bare legs. They did nothing to obstruct the view, but he assumed they served as further protection from the elements.

But if she was so concerned with the cold, then why subject herself to such exposure?

By the way that the shop owner shoved more items in her hand with a less than innocent smile, Sesshoumaru thought that perhaps he had his answer. Where the monk made up for his low fundage by charming others out of their offerings, it seemed that the miko was able to trade by way of visual access to her body. He nearly scoffed.

He turned back to the vendor, placing his sword down and picking up another. He talked shop with the arms dealer a moment more, and tried to decide for which he would put aside his normally discriminating eye, and settle.

Weak and unimpressive as they may be, these appeared to be his only options for the time being. He had not the strength nor the ability to wield a weapon fit for a demon, so he would have to make do.

At the shop keep's behest, he was inspecting a freshly sharpened ninja star when he heard a familiar shriek in the clothing shop across the way.

“Pervert!”

The miko was rubbing her ass from the pinch she had endured, and now was waving an accusing finger in a very large man’s face.

“Show some respect!”

It seemed that another customer who had braved the elements to visit the market had been eyeing more than the clothing at the stand, and made no effort to resist ‘handling the merchandise.’

“I do respect that ass. You should respect me.”

Pulling her against him by force, she strained to push herself from the man's grasp as he held her against him tightly.

The older shop owner beside her looked concerned, but the offender was twice his size, and half his age. Not to mention, had a small entourage of two companions for back up.

Though large, the men carried no weapons of their own. By their appearance and manner of dress, they appeared to be no more than simple farmers, likely of the lands nearby.

Kagome struggled, trying to pry herself from the man’s grasp. She pounded her fists against him uselessly as the man’s cronies laughed.

Trying to stick his tongue down her throat, he wasn’t expecting an assault from behind.

Before he knew what hit him; Sesshoumaru had closed the distance between them, grabbing the man’s arm and twisting it painfully behind his back.

The man was not as tall as him, but nearly twice as wide. He was not pure muscle, but his stature was suitable for toiling long hours as a farmhand in the adjacent fields.

The element of surprise gave Sesshoumaru the upper hand. And without a moment to brace himself; his arm had been pulled away from its offending spot on the miko, and clinically pulled up behind his back.

Forced painfully upward, Sesshoumaru did not stop until the crack of his bone rang loudly through the marketplace. The resulting scream was deafening, and with the miko successfully released from his grasp, Sesshoumaru threw him to the ground harshly. He grabbed his broken arm, wailing pathetically in pain as he writhed on the dirt ground below.

Once the initial shock wore off; one of the man’s buddies lunged at Sesshoumaru, and pushed him roughly to the ground. Kagome could only watch as he landed on his back next to the other man who was still screaming in pain, but Sesshoumaru was back on his feet in an instant.

Ninja star from the weapon shop still in hand, he cocked his arm back threateningly as he steadied his aim. Two other men approached as they faced a standoff. The man who pushed him down scoffed.

“You can’t hit us both with that,” he observed, challenge present in his tone.

“Correct,” Sesshoumaru agreed. “Only you.”

The man considered that a moment, before taking an apprehensive step forward. Sesshoumaru responded by taking a step back, and readied himself to throw the sharpened weapon at the man, effectively stopping his progress.

Resigned, the man relaxed his pose, and turned to address his friend.

“Keh. She’s not worth the trouble.”

Sesshoumaru remained poised to throw, as the two men helped their still wailing comrade to his feet. The man screamed as he was lifted, his arm swelling from the attack.

Kagome moved to stand beside Sesshoumaru, along with Miroku who had finally noticed the skirmish breaking out.

As the men turned to leave, Kagome placed a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go,” she demanded, sensing the danger as Sesshoumaru’s aura flared angrily. She knew all too well that retreating from a fight was not in his nature, and she wanted to leave before any more trouble occurred.

But Sesshoumaru was unsatisfied. There was no honor in attacking a retreating opponent. But there was also none in allowing those who disrespect you to walk away with their lives.

He watched them go, his rage in no way subsided, but he finally lowered his arm. Kagome sighed in relief, and she and Miroku turned to make their way back to the village. But once they did, Sesshoumaru readied his hand again, and threw the star perfectly at the man who had pushed him.

With an aim that Kagome could only envy as an archer; the star had effectively sliced right through the man’s throat, severing his jugular. He dropped to the ground, gurgling horribly as he bled out in seconds.

Miroku and Kagome could only watch on in horror, shocked into stillness at the events that just occurred. Sesshoumaru only stood still, resigned, as the third man made his way toward them with great haste.

The man with the broken arm used his other hand to press on his friends wound, but with the fantastic rate which he was losing blood, it was obvious there was nothing he could do.

Before anyone could protect him, the third man’s fist made devastating contact with Sesshoumaru’s nose. The force of the blow knocked him on his back again. And once down; he straddled him, and rained more punches on the Western Lord’s face.

Sesshoumaru didn’t make a sound as he withstood his punishment, all the while Kagome and Miroku were doing their best to pull the enraged man off of their pack mate.

Unable to remove him, Miroku took the sharpened end of his staff to press menacingly against the man’s neck. The act caused a small cut, as only a warning amount of pressure was allowed.

Aware of the threat, the man only looked at the monk with angry eyes. He made to remove himself from Sesshoumaru, but not before delivering one last blow to his head.

The fight caused a panic in the market, as business owners and shoppers frantically clamored over what to do.

Sesshoumaru’s companions helped him to his feet, and began pulling him off to the direction of the village.

“We have to go. Now.”

Miroku’s tone left no room for argument.

* * *

“Oh kami! What happened?”

Sango moved to approach Sesshoumaru, intent on assessing the blood which was pouring freely from his nose.

Kagome only brushed passed her, irritably dragging her new patient by the haori sleeve into her hut.

A recently washed haori sleeve, that was already ruined once again by the blood of more than one man.

Sango turned to Miroku, still awaiting an answer, and he took on the task of explaining the violent incident.

Inuyasha was on her futon, still sleeping soundly as he mended himself from his previous injury.

Infirmary filled to capacity, Sesshoumaru was forced to sit on the floor. Once her items were ready, she sat on her knees across from him and began cleaning up his face.

She used a wet rag to remove the blood, and was at least pleased to see that the hemorrhaging had stopped. But that was the only thing she was pleased about. Her irritation at him was palpable, and she was doing her best to temper it in order to act as an effective nurse.

A pile of icicles from the roof had been smashed into small pieces, and she secured them into a sandwich bag. She placed the bag gently against his eye, and instructed him to hold it in place for her.

Damn. Just as his other eye had seemed to begin healing, now the other one was damaged. He looked like he had been in a car accident.

“It will turn black like the other one, but at least now it won’t swell.”

He accepted her assessment silently, as she perused his face for more injuries. Finding no more treatable damage, she joined him in silence. But only for a moment.

“That was stupid,” she finally informed him, before cutting her gaze to the slumbering hanyou in her bed. At this rate, they were never going to start their journey.

“Would you like to try again?" he asked haughtily. "I believe the words you intended were ‘thank you,’ miko.”

She hadn’t expected a response, and the one he gave did nothing to quell her irritation at him.

“Like, ‘thank you for killing a guy right in front of me?' Or, ‘thank you for getting me banned from my favorite market?’" she asked, her tone not wanting for sarcasm.

“Or, how about ‘thank you for putting Miroku and I in danger by picking fights with burly farmers?’”

The one eye not obstructed by a bag of ice narrowed in annoyance.

“Thank you for preventing your inevitable assault,” he insisted matter-of-factly. At her displeasure, he looked away imperiously. “Or perhaps This One interfered presumptuously. Did you desire the advances of those boorish oafs?”

“Of course not,” she bit out. When Inuyasha stirred in his sleep, she lowered her voice. “But there are better ways to handle those things. Civilized ways.”

“Those men were anything but civil.”

She reached out her hand to adjust the bag of ice so that it rested on the bridge of his nose as well. She couldn’t tell if it was broken, but it was starting to turn purple.

“True. But I like to think we are better than them.”

He allowed her to fuss over the bag, and held it steady once in position.

“You are telling This One that the next time such a thing occurs, you would prefer that I stay my hand?”

He raised an eyebrow, and he decided that the action hurt way more than it should.

“I'm _saying_ , you should give me a chance to handle it on my own. I’m not totally helpless, you know.”

He wasn’t insinuating that she was. He knew the contrary to be true. But in his opinion, she allowed others to take far too much liberty with her person. Perhaps that was a reason she saw fit to touch others so freely in return.

“Besides, what makes you so sure there will be a next time?”

To avoid eyebrow pain, he settled for a humorless glare. “You’re manner of dress, for one.”

She tried to sound offended, but it wasn’t like she hadn't heard it before. “What’s wrong with my outfit?”

“Nothing, if you are a prostitute,” he replied dismissively, casually shrugging a shoulder. He discovered the pain in that act as well. How was he supposed to chastise others effectively when all of his signature moves caused him discomfort?

“In such case, I cannot fault those men for assuming you to be welcoming of their attentions. How confusing for them.”

Indignant, she closed her eyes defiantly. He couldn’t help but be amused by the haughty response. He contained his smirk.

“I’ll have you know, that this is what every girl my age wears to school in my time.”

He watched curiously as she began tearing up small bits from a roll of soft paper which he recognized as similar to the one she had added to his care package.

“Then it is a wonder they are able to complete an education. Every woman in such attire could surely find herself with child prematurely.”

Though annoyed with his assessment, she elected not to inform him that he was not entirely off base. Plenty of girls in her school failed to make graduation for that very reason.

“I can dress however I want. It doesn’t give anyone the right to touch me like that.”

“Agreed. However, if you wish to protect them from retaliation, you would find more success with a more appropriate wardrobe.”

She heard what he was saying. And she admitted that it did have some merit. Inuyasha had beaten more than one man to a pulp for misconstruing her dress as a desire for attention. She never really considered that she could avoid such encounters if she only dressed more modestly. She just didn’t like the idea of changing her style up just because others got the wrong idea.

“It would also save your friends from constantly defending your virtue, if you are as concerned with their safety as you say.”

“I shall consider it,” she replied mockingly. For some reason, he was more amused than offended.

She instructed him to place the torn bits of toilet paper into his nostrils to help clot the bleeding. He complied, perhaps more distracted with their conversation than he realized.

“Really. Your legs are so shamelessly exposed, that one could view your choice of undergarment every time you bend to retrieve a spent arrow.”

“Oh, _one_ could huh? Well, why would _one_ be looking in the first place?”

He looked away haughtily, unaffected at the accusation.

“It is unavoidable.”

She gave a lopsided smirk, trying unsuccessfully to sound condemning.

“Yeah, well one should try to avoid it a little harder. Pervert.”

He didn’t know why, but he decided her smirk earned one in return.

“Very well. The next inevitable occurrence which sees to your ‘unwanted’ attention, This One will stand aside and simply allow it to transpire.”

She bit her cheek to prevent a giggle at the nasally tone he now produced.

“I didn’t say that. Just, give me a chance to diffuse the situation myself.”

They both contemplated her request for a moment. Then, she tacked on an addendum. “After that, if they are still being aggressive, just knock his lights out. No need to kill anyone.”

He watched as she gathered the remainder of her supplies. “You are a strange human,” he observed, and earned another smirk.

“Likewise.”

Thoroughly put out by her assessment, he saw fit to correct her. “As I informed the slayer, This One is no man, despite his outward appearance.”

At his steadfast rejection, she saw an opportunity for teasing. “Well, you are obviously a human now. So if you insist your aren't a man, then you must be a woman.” He glared at her mockery, but not hard enough to scare her. “Really, I know you are having an identity crisis, but I never expected-”

“I may not be a man, but I assure you, I am very much a male. And a demon, whether I appear it or not.”

She couldn't deny the male part. She had been made painfully aware of that fact in the cave. Trying to ignore the implications of his statement - and hoping he wasn’t also recalling the night she saved his life - she geared her thoughts towards the latter part of his proclamation.

He still considered himself a demon, despite how he looked. Perhaps she shouldn’t peg him with labels that he didn’t appreciate. If she was being honest, she didn’t see him as very different as he had been before. Maybe he still was a demon, deep down in there. The thought gave her hope. If he really was a demon inside, maybe there was a chance he could be one on the outside when all this was over.

She hadn’t had any luck coming up with a way to change him back yet. But she would see her vow through to do all she could to help him return. She would think more on it later. But in the meantime, she could allow him this small concession.

“If it's any consolation, I never really saw you as a human. Despite appearances.”

He deemed her assessment acceptable, and offered a concession of his own. “And This One had never truly regarded you as a prostitute. Despite appearances.”

Fully expecting retribution, he was surprised when she laughed. “You know how I know you are terrible? Coming from you, that actually sounded like a compliment.”

As shocked as he was, he couldn’t deny that she was accurate. “Then you perceived as intended.”

“That's my point! You are normally so cruel, that I actually appreciated hearing something from you that would sound like an insult coming from anyone else.”

“Perhaps that should be construed as a compliment even further still. For one who rarely bestows them, the sentiment should hold more weight.”

She eyed him dubiously as she weighed his words. “I guess.”

“And in contrast, one who too easily bestows compliments could not offer one of much value.”

Satisfied with her patchwork, she rose from her kneeling position. She intended that he follow, as to leave his brother to rest in silence, but he remained seated.

“So you’re saying that just because I am nice to everyone, that my kind words are meaningless?”

“I am _saying_ ,” he inflected, imitating her previous comment, “that if you offered them less freely, the market would not be saturated. They could be seen to mean more to those who received them.”

His statement hung in the air as she contemplated it, and he finally rose to join her in leaving the infirmary. She offered a hand to help him, which he pointedly refused.

Sighing internally at all the blood she would have to wash out of his clothes, she considered that it would probably save her a lot of work if she taught him how to do the chore himself.

“I know it will take some getting used to, but you can’t just throw yourself into fights with men who are bigger than you.” She knew the suggestion was falling on deaf ears. Sesshoumaru would do as he pleased, even at great detriment to his own well-being.

When he moved to brush past her, she touched him gently on his arm. He wasn’t sure why, but he halted at her silent request.

Looking down at her beseeching features, she regarded his battered ones in return. It began to look like she would say nothing, so he moved to leave again. But before he exited, he heard her soft compromise.

“But thanks.”

* * *

The wood Sesshoumaru had chopped previously had been covered to protect it from the elements, so as not take overly long to burn. Kagome was retrieving some logs to get ready for dinner, when she was distracted by the angry aura of her fast-approaching fried.

By the time Sango reached her at the edge of the clearing, the rage in her eyes was enough to cause the young miko to start.

“Sango, what’s-”

“You just couldn’t keep out of it!”

Sango could often be emotional, but Kagome was rarely the source of her displeasure. Normally, it was Miroku who had earned such ire from the young woman. Her distressed state caused Kagome more concern than fear.

“What’s wrong?” She stepped closer to her friend who had her hands accusingly on her hips.

“Sesshoumaru told me that you advised him not to sleep with me. What the fuck, Kagome?”

Oh, right.

She supposed she should feel guilty, but she was only vaguely annoyed. Really, it was all Sango’s fault that she had been placed in such an awkward position.

She answered with a shrug. “He asked my opinion, and I gave it.”

When the miko moved to grab some more logs, Sango was annoyed at the apparent dismissal. She rounded on her.

“You ruined everything! I thought we were friends!”

She was kind of surprised that her friend was so upset. Surely, she must realize what a bad idea the whole thing had been. Actually, she should be thanking her for preventing her from making a horrible mistake.

“We are! Why do you think I am against it? It’s only going to cause trouble-”

“For who? For you?” Kagome scoffed, turning back to her task. “Why do you care who I sleep with? It’s none of your business! Unless...” Understanding dawned on Sango’s features. At least, she thought she understood.

“Oh my god, you want him for yourself, don’t you?”

Stilling in her tracks, Kagome couldn’t speak. She sputtered as she tried to find a way to respond to the ludicrous accusation.

“That’s it! You act like you don’t like him, but you would have to be insane not to notice how gorgeous he is. Admit it!”

She had conceded long ago that Sesshoumaru was attractive. But she apparently wasn’t as shallow as her friend. Personality was more important to her than looks, and his was among the worst she had encountered.

“Do you know how crazy you sound? I have no interest-”

“You sure protest enough... too much, in fact. You already have Inuyasha-”

“And you have Miroku!”

Sango scoffed this time. Done with the conversation, she gathered herself to leave. “Do me a favor. The next time you get the urge to talk a guy I like out of spending time with me, keep it to yourself. In fact, you can stay out of my life all together.”

Kagome couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Sure, she was used to such things from her school friends back home. But Sango was more mature than the group of giggling school girls. At least, she thought she was...

She also thought that the two of them had a bond that was too strong to be broken by some man. Albeit, an incredibly attractive man. But regardless, a man that Kagome had absolutely no interest in pursuing.

This was all Miroku’s fault. If he wasn’t such a slut, Sango would be satisfied with him, instead of entertaining ridiculous Sesshoumaru fantasies.

It’s a good thing Inuyasha wasn’t awake. He’d be having a conniption if he knew what was going on around here lately.

“Sango-” she tried, intent on placating the irate woman, but she was gone in an instant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a reminder, since this is where i lose some people: if you don't like them now, trust that my characters will grow. relationships evolve in this story, all the way around. everyone gets a little depth, so don't freak out lol.


	10. No Apologies

As imparted to him previously by the miko, the entire group gathered together for their dinner.

With very little frame of reference, Sesshoumaru could not be certain that the experience was always such a tense one.

He conceded that perhaps it was his doing. Their discomfort in his company was justified, and appreciated. But his reliable instincts told him that the pack’s unease was not completely the result of his presence. Not directly, anyhow.

On account of his injuries, Inuyasha’s meal was brought to him in the women's hut. But not by Kagome, who had been caring for him thus far.

The slayer seemed quite disinclined to take her required sustenance among the rest of them. And though he offhandedly considered that his refusal of her attentions left her unwilling to endure his own company, Sesshoumaru couldn’t help but recognize that she seemed somewhat displeased with both miko and monk as well.

After some clipped comments, Kagome demurred as Sango took the hanyou his food, and remained to keep him occupied while the rest of them ate in relative silence around the prepared fire.

Sesshoumaru could care less about their inner workings, and elected to simply enjoy the quiet he was afforded. And when the Sango finally left her hut after eating, she grabbed her large boomerang and departed without comment.

Kagome politely excused herself then, and set to replace her companion in keeping an eye on Inuyasha.

Long after dinner had passed, Sesshoumaru and Miroku remained near the bonfire for warmth.

Not necessarily comfortable in one another’s presence, the two had come to an unspoken understanding in regards to their current living situation.

The monk, ever amiable, afforded the Western Lord his privacy, solitude, and much welcomed silence. In return, Sesshoumaru agreed to act as if the pest in his presence did not exist. It was a courtesy that most men would be more than happy to withstand. If Sesshoumaru acknowledged your existence in any way, it typically did not bode well for you.

When Inuyasha made his first appearance since that morning’s battle, he staggered out of the hut stiffly. He had to stifle his laughter at the sight his brother now made. Partially because it hurt to laugh, but also because he knew why he’d gotten beat up. He did it for Kagome.

And Inuyasha couldn't help but be grateful that Sesshouamru was watching out for her, while he couldn’t be there to protect her himself.

“He lives!” Miroku joked, and Inuyasha took a pained seat beside the men, attempting - and failing - to suppress a groan as he lowered himself to the ground.

“Feeling better?”

His freshly wrapped bandages could be seen peeking through the slightly disheveled opening of his fire rat haori. And the fact that no blood could be seen seeping through could be taken as a sign of improvement.

Sesshoumaru allowed himself hope that the boy would be well enough to travel soon. Though he still considered his healing abilities weak, he was in no position himself to offer such commentary.

“Hella better. I bet by tomorrow, I’ll be good as new.”

Though neither man fully bought his projected over-confidence. He seemed to struggle to speak comfortably, let alone move. And though he silently appreciated his brother’s willingness to press onward, the fact that he may yet be able caused Sesshoumaru some anxiety.

He let it be known by announcing his doubt, with all the tact he normally afforded the half demon. “Is that so? Because you look as if you have been trampled by a herd of wild boar youkai.”

And he felt like it too. But seeing as he was trying to rally for his older brother’s cause, he felt no need to keep his insults to himself. Not that he ever had before anyhow.

In a stunning replica of what was apparently a family trait, he raised a mocking eyebrow as he gave Sesshoumaru a dramatic up and down. “Keh, like you’re one to talk. Not so pretty now, are ya?”

Though he never considered his brother at all pleasant to look at, he was aware of - and hated - the way females often regarded the snobby lord. In Inuyasha’s eyes, all he saw was a total bastard.

“I am faring better than my opponents, I assure you.”

Kagome told him what Sesshoumaru did to the men in the market.

He wished he had been there. If anyone disrespected Kagome in any way, he felt it was his duty to put them in their place. And he would have enjoyed it, too.

He was upset that his brother got the pleasure of sticking it to those morons. Though he hadn’t exactly come out of it unscathed.

In bothered him that he had not been with her to defend her honor. But he was pleased - and in no small way, shocked - that Sesshoumaru had intervened on his behalf, whether or not he was aware that he had.

“Am I to assume your presence means you are healing sufficiently?” His impatience was poorly concealed.

Inuyasha closed his eyes and shifted to settle more comfortably in his seat on the ground.

“Keh, it'll take more than a wimpy little snake to take me out. I’ll be back to normal in no time.” Which was more than could be said for the elder of the two.

“Rin’s survival may depend on it.” Sesshoumaru frowned, assessing his brother more carefully. He hated how difficult his weakened senses made it for him to accurately discern the boy’s state. “How long does a half breed require to recover from poison?”

He had never before had to trouble himself with the recovery of another. Save for Rin, and the few times she had become ill with common human ailments during their travels, the effects of such things on other beings were never a concern to him. It was uncommon for him to rely on someone else’s recovery for his own advancement.

Inuyasha put his hands in his sleeves, and considered the question. “I don’t know. The only other time I’ve taken poison in me was...” he cut himself off as he grew reflective.

All three men were suddenly transported back to the day Sesshoumaru had run his claws through Inuyasha’s chest.

The dog demon’s powerful attack had rendered his brother incapacitated instantly. And were it not for the protection of their father’s great fang, Sesshoumaru would have succeeded in finishing him off right there. Instead, he was forced to flee. And when he returned...

Sesshoumaru let his eyes drift to the sword resting against his shoulder. Even though he probably hadn’t the strength to wield it, the boy still kept it by his side. Still relied on father’s protection to aid him in his endeavors.

Sesshoumaru had long since unlocked the awesome power of his own capabilities. Though he had not seen fit to discard his unwanted inheritance.

He placed his hand at his own hip, missing the feel of his formidable weapons which had not been absent from his side since their procurement. He made up for his deficiency with his arrogant tone.

They really were more alike than they realized...

“Hn. And somehow you lived. The poison of a lowly snake is nothing compared to This Sesshoumaru’s.” The underlying message in his statement was glaring: No apologies.

Even though he was relying on their aid, Sesshoumaru would not offer any undue considerations. He didn’t feel the least bit bad about what he had done to him. Even now. And he would never profess such offerings of remorse until - and unless - he actually meant them.

And though disgusted at his older brother anew for the reminder of his previous misdeeds - of which there were many - Inuyasha for some reason simply appreciated not being pandered to. In a world full of liars and con men, the last thing his brother could claim to be is disingenuous. At the very least, he had that going for him.

“And I was over that in no time,” he assured him proudly. “I am practically better already. I’d be surprised if we ain’t on the road in a day or two.”

And though Sesshoumaru was more than willing to capitalize on the half demon’s confidence, Miroku was all too aware of the younger brother’s propensity for bravado. Inuyasha was always very eager to prove his worth to anyone and everyone. He supposed that constantly being tested and attacked by those around him for what he was caused him to always push himself to his limits to show others of what he was capable. 

And he never strove to prove himself more aggressively than when in the presence of his half-brother. Sesshoumaru’s appearance made him even more willful to push himself through the pain. And now with his brother’s current shortcomings, he surely saw a rare opportunity to show up the haughty lord. Sesshoumaru seemed all too willing to take advantage of that fact.

Although also eager to help find Rin, Miroku recognized that he would need to do what he could to keep his alpha safe, for all of their benefits. If he were harmed any further, all of them would be in danger.

But he would need to be tactful. He could not show to be doubting the boy’s strength, for he would then only attempt harder to prove otherwise. Not to mention, going against Sesshoumaru’s will was always a terrible plan. He kicked his mediation skills into high gear, and spoke gently.

“Kagome-sama has been taking great pains to see to your wounds. You should not undo her work by testing yourself so soon. Perhaps returning to her hut for further rest would be wise,” he heavily suggested.

Though already looking on the mend, he obviously still had some healing to do. He wanted to steer him back to his sleep, as he considered he may be trying to appear better than he was for their own benefit. But Inuyasha’s determined countenance was nothing the monk was unfamiliar with.

“If I’m in there, then the girls won’t have nowhere to sleep,” he reasonably explained. “I’m good enough to be back out here.” So that was it.

He knew the girls - Kagome in particular - valued their privacy terribly. Much to the monk’s great dismay.

Inuyasha was putting himself out for their comfort, much like a good alpha would do. But though Kagome surely would not allow such a thing if she thought he was worse for the wear; it was likely that the hanyou was playing up his recovery for her benefit. Miroku just couldn’t understand him.

He knew how Kagome felt about his good friend. And if it were he, and he was laid up in a pretty girl’s bed who adored him as much as Kagome did, he would certainly take the opportunity to remain there as long as possible. Maybe even convincing the young girl to join him for comfort...

Perhaps being attached to that tree for 50 years had stunted his growth somewhat. It seemed like a male his age should be more interested than he was in the physical comforts a woman could offer. The boy must still have some maturing to do.

He pitied Kagome. For it seemed like she was more than ready for such attentions. He just couldn’t bear the thought of a willing woman going untouched. On that note...

“Perhaps I have a solution.” Inuyasha recognized that tone. Gifting him with a half-lidded, less than thrilled glare; he awaited what was sure to be an unacceptable suggestion. “Seeing as the two of you have agreed to a truce, what better way to celebrate your new found brotherly acceptance than to share sleeping quarters.” Oh, here we go.

“Inuyasha, you may take my space in the hut with your brother, and I shall graciously put myself out by staying with the girls. It will be rather crowded, but anything for their protection.” He looked to his friend innocently, though the beginnings of a smile played at the corners of his mouth.

“Nice try houshi.” Miroku grinned. He in no way expected his friend to agree to his generous offer. “The girls get their hut back, and I'm staying outside.”

But his playful look turned serious once again, as he regarded the injured hanyou with genuine concern. “Are you certain you’ll be okay? It is still awfully cold. I’m sure Sesshoumaru-sama won't mind if we make room for you in our hut.” He didn’t chance a look at his roommate as he made his presumptuous offer.

Inuyasha did, however. “No offense, but I’d rather take my chances out here with the elements.”

“You’re sure?”

Though the blizzards had stopped, the since-persistent sun had yet to melt the layers of ice and snow which covered the grounds around them.

Even though he was a half demon, the circumstances were less than ideal. It was a particularly bad time to be embarking on a manhunt. But, he conceded, that his alpha was more equipped to take on the weather than any of them, at the moment. 

He scoffed. “I’ll take snow storms over the Ice Prince any day.” And that was that. It was clear that the hanyou would not be deterred.

Sesshoumaru seemed unaffected by the very intended slight. He supposed it was usual - even expected - banter between the two at this point.

Inuyasha grew concerned, even appearing slightly uncomfortable as he asked his next question. “Speaking of which, where is Sango at? Kagome said she took off, but she wouldn’t give me any details.”

Miroku schooled a humorless smile at the mention of his girlfriend. Former girlfriend, now perhaps. Though the two of them have yet to admit it aloud.

“I’m afraid she confides in me less and less by the day.” The two had obviously been growing apart, though none had seen fit to mention it. Everyone thought that they just needed some time to work it out. But it appeared as if the couple was beginning to come to terms with the fact that it was over, if only to themselves. Though they may be apprehensive about finalizing it, that band aid would be coming off soon. “She left a few hours ago, and I don’t know where she is, or when she is to return.”

Inuyasha proceeded cautiously. It was his duty as leader to maintain tranquility within his pack, and be aware of the ongoing dynamics in the group. But as such, he also yearned to keep the peace, and not stir the pot.

With Sesshoumaru there, things were delicate enough as it was. Also, he didn’t want to appear to not be in control with his brother’s judgmental eyes upon him. He needed to show him that he could run his pack successfully. “Is everything alright between you two?” he ventured carefully.

But this was neither the time nor the place. Miroku did not want to get into this now. Especially not until he and Sango had hashed things out between them privately. He turned to their newest member. “How about you, Sesshoumaru-sama? Have you any idea what caused her to flee?”

Inuyasha let the obvious change of topic occur. Maybe it was better if they spoke about it alone.

Sesshoumaru was looking away as if not listening, but he did deign a response. “The workings of your females are of no interest to This One.”

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, but Miroku kept the conversation going by addressing his alpha. “Where is Kagome-sama?”

“Getting ready for bed,” he informed with a shrug. “I left to give her some privacy.”

It was getting late. And with the surprise attack early that morning, he himself was eager to get to rest. Maybe if he went to bed now, he would be asleep before Sesshoumaru’s daunting presence within the hut made it more difficult to relax.

“I see. Not a bad idea.” Standing with a dramatic yawn, Miroku stretched his arms widely over his head. “Excuse me, gentlemen. I should retire as well.”

Inuyasha bid him goodnight, and Sesshoumaru, of course, didn’t respond. His reply came with his eyes, however, as he narrowed them suspiciously while he watched the monk depart.

But while Sesshoumaru watched Miroku, Inuyasha’s attention never strayed from his half-brother. “Kagome told me what happened in the market.”

Sesshoumaru was torn from his perusal by the accusatory tone. He turned to his side to look at him, to find the boy worrying distractedly at his sleeve.

“You cut a human’s throat, and broke his buddy’s arm.”

Since when did Inuyasha care a whit about violent behavior? So long as it wasn’t aimed at him, he hadn’t expected him to mind either way. The hanyou’s human blood must be encroaching upon his youkai tendencies. Humans let their compassion cloud their reasonability far more than was prudent, in his opinion.

But it wasn’t affecting him. Even now with full human blood, he felt nothing for the men he had harmed. Why should he? Perhaps his demonic soul was still there after all.

“If you mean to scold me, the miko already-”

“Thank you.” The unexpected gratitude cut his lament short. His brother finally disregarded his sleeve in favor of looking him in the eye, quite seriously. At Sesshoumaru’s confusion, he elaborated. “For watching out for her I mean.”

He scoffed, and looked away. “It had nothing to do with her,” he insisted. “Those men were vile. Someone had to put a stop to their obnoxious behavior. It seems This One must yet again do the work none others see fit to accomplish.”

He supposed he didn’t have to do what he did. But it had bothered him that none were willing to show those vermin their place. He had no duty to her, he just always did as he pleased. And in that moment, it simply pleased him to wipe the entitled grins off of their dirty, uncouth lips.

Just because he was no longer demon, it did not mean others would be getting away with displeasing the Lord of the West. Even if he was forced to endure some pushback, his honor would not be compromised.

“She also told me about what the other guy did to you, not that she needed to. I thought you were ugly before, but that second black eye makes you look even more sorry.”

The reminder of his latest beating caused an involuntary frown. Being struck down by a pathetic tiger clan was humiliating enough, but now he had met defeat at the hands of a human. An unimpressive human, at that. Not that he was terribly impressed with any he had encountered thus far.

What’s worse, he had witnesses. The others had at least deemed fit not to mention the incident. Until now. His brother had always been outstandingly dim.

“Why’d you let him do it?”

Sesshoumaru cocked an eyebrow. “I hardly invited the assault.”

“It sounded like you did,” he accused. “At least you didn’t try too hard to stop it. She said you just stood there. Like you were waiting to get creamed.” So, she had noticed. He had hoped that in the chaos, the specifics of the fight would sail beneath their observation. These humans were more perceptive than he had realized. At least, the miko had been.

“Why didn’t you fight him off? I know you ain’t like you were, but that don’t mean you gotta just stand there and take it,” Inuyasha insisted. Then demanded, “So, why did you?”

He was used to Sesshoumaru not offering any answers. The youkai usually didn’t feel that he needed to. But from the look on his face, Inuyasha could tell that he was gathering his thoughts. So he waited patiently. But when he finally spoke, he didn’t get the explanation he was hoping for.

“Do you dream?”

He creased his brow at the man’s odd question, his confusion evident. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

It sounded like he was trying to change the subject, but his brother was not one to side-step any issues. Sesshoumaru was blunt, and direct. There must be something there he wasn’t getting.

“Nightmares,” he clarified. “Are you susceptible to them?”

Not so much these days. But as a pup, they had been a regular occurrence. They increased after his mother died, then subsided. After awakening from his 50-year curse, they returned full force.

But ever since Kagome had starting coming around; they had waned back down to nothing, save for the occasional vision after a particularly traumatizing battle. Ones in which he came far too close to losing her.

“Sometimes,” he admitted with a shrug. “Not too often. Not really anymore at least.” He eyed him uncertainly, but unbelievably curious. “Why?”

“Rin had them frequently,” he confided. “At first, at least. They seemed to taper as the years passed. But This One recalls her fretting at night often.”

He felt sorry for his brother’s kid. He heard about what that shitty wolf Kouga and his pack had done to her and her family. It wasn’t personal. Wolves were just bloodthirsty like that. They were known to wreak havoc throughout the lands, attacking humans and demons alike for whatever meal they could get their paws on. It wasn’t until meeting Kagome that they had put a stop to that behavior.

But what did that have to do with anything? Why bring it up now?

“Since her abduction, I have been having them constantly. I cannot get through a night without images of her... the lack of suitable rest has been taxing.”

It seemed like a poor excuse. Just because he’s tired, Sesshoumaru would never just lay down his arms. He would fight with everything he had in him until he took his last breath. The damn dog was just too proud to do any different.

His response earned a skeptical once over. “So you ain’t sleeping? That still don’t explain-”

“This body seems to require rest at much more frequent intervals,” he interrupted. “The inability to receive it appears to have affected my strength.”

That was for sure. He knew the change had affected his brother’s abilities. It was so weird to see him like this, that he almost forgot that all this was new for him. Sesshoumaru never knew what it was like to be weak. To not be able to just take everything thrown at him as if it were nothing.

“Additionally, I have yet to heal from the assault I had endured the day she was taken, and the near drowning that followed. I have never felt so depleted.”

His candid admission shocked him. His brother was coming to terms with his limitations on the fly. It probably took every ounce of strength he had to give those other two chumps what they deserved. Before that, he probably gave a lot of what he had to those tigers who took Rin.

He was learning the hard way exactly how difficult it was for a human to survive within these lands. He saw fit to offer some advice.

“Humans take a lot longer to recover from things,” he informed him. Then, for some reason, felt inclined to reassure him. “You ain’t the only one. You need to sleep more if you are going to heal right.”

His brother’s pity was upsetting. But furthermore, Sesshoumaru hated how he seemed to be so understanding of his plight. As if they were at all comparable.

“I did not see the point in expending my energy in the market,” he explained himself further, obviously somewhat defensive for his unimpressive performance. “I expected retaliation. Had I engaged, it may have led to a much longer recovery.”

And he was right. It was something Inuyasha knew all too well. When you put up a fight, it just makes those going after you lay into you harder. It makes them put even more into taking you down. And gives them more satisfaction.

He learned at a young age that when you roll up into a ball early, they will claim their victory and go. It wasn’t the most admirable way to do things, nor the most satisfying, but it did save you some pain.

Sesshoumaru didn’t have to do what he did. He knew he wasn’t strong enough to take on the world in that moment. But still, he had. For her...

“Sometimes, taking a beating is easier than fighting back.”

Sesshoumaru didn’t respond. He seemed to be looking inward while his brother inspected his appearance.

He really did look like hell. He was beginning to lose some of the enjoyment he previously felt in seeing the proud man rendered as such. Sure, he deserved it. His comeuppance had been a long time coming. But something about it did not sit right.

The likelihood of what would have come of him if Kagome had not happened upon him in the snow was almost unbelievable. He thought he should share his sentiment.

“You’re lucky she found you that night. I don’t know what she did to help you, but not many people would have done it.” Kagome said she warmed up his body, though she had been very elusive as to the particulars. Not certain he wanted the details, Inuyasha had not pushed the issue.

Whatever it was, it worked. She _was_ from the future. They must have some tricks she was able to use with her superior knowledge in such things.

Sesshoumaru shrugged. “Not many would have intervened with those men at the market.”

Though not intentional, Inuyasha read between the lines. 

He owed her a life debt. That was all that it was.

He had only promised not to kill her, but he couldn’t sit idly by while the woman who had brought him back from the brink was harassed by a couple of assholes. It appeared that in saving Sesshoumaru, she had bought herself a measure of protection. What little he could give.

She probably wasn’t aware of the considerations she would enjoy at the time. She just saw a man in need, and did what she could to help him. She was just like that. 

But Sesshoumaru wasn’t the only one who felt inclined to keep her safe.

“All of us would have. Next time, just ask us to help. We are all pretty protective of Kagome. It ain’t just you.”

Sesshoumaru didn’t know which part of that statement offended him more. Implying that he would ever ask any of them for help, or insinuating that the debt he owed her amounted to a personal desire to protect her. He quickly decided.

“I was not protecting her. Those men displeased me, and I let it be known. It is that simple.” He was a little too insistent, and defensive in his denial. But Inuyasha decided to let it pass. If he was helping Kagome, there was no need to dissuade him.

“Well, getting your clock cleaned ain’t gonna do you any favors. Or us. You should spend a little energy to protect yourself next time.” His suggestion was met with silence, so he offered him another. “Try to get some sleep tonight. I don’t think your face can take another pounding.”

Did he not think that he would if he could? He hoped he was tired enough now to get through the night peacefully. He really needed it.

Speak of the market incident had him replaying the events in his mind. He couldn’t help from voicing his realization as it hit him. 

“That onna certainly knows how to find trouble for herself.”

Inuyasha’s lopsided smirk eased them back from their serious conversation. “Man, you ain’t kidding. I’m always pulling her sorry butt out of this or that.”

Back when they had found themselves on opposite sides of the battlefield, Sesshoumaru had been well aware of the miko’s propensity for danger. He had even lashed out at her more than once himself. It was amazing that she had been able to survive multiple attacks from the demon lord. And had it not been for his brother’s quick work in protecting her, he surely would have been successful.

The loyalty she inspired no doubt aided her in her preservation. Others were all too willing to jump to the young girl’s aid. But that wasn’t all they had been willing to do to her, which seemed to lend reason for most of her predicaments in the first place.

“Her attire leaves something to be desired. And little to the imagination. I warned her against wearing such a thing in public.”

The hanyou’s mischievous grin was foreign to Sessshoumaru’s eyes, and he marveled at it. He wasn’t even aware that his brother could pull off ‘playful.’ He certainly hadn’t ever seen fit to do so around him. “Now why would you go and do something like that?”

Despite himself, Sesshoumaru betrayed the tiniest of smirks. He must be even more exhausted than he realized.

Inuyasha turned serious again. “I really mean it, man. I appreciate you looking out for Kagome like that. I would have warned you about the attention she gets if I was awake.”

Considering his words, Sesshoumaru’s countenance turned grim, as already blackened eyes seemed to darken further still. Inuyasha was going to ask what was wrong, but he stood suddenly in that moment. Making his way to his hut, he left Inuyasha on his own.

Apparently, their conversation was over. Sesshoumaru had never been one for pleasantries.

“Feh. Icy bastard.”

* * *

With a stealth he hadn’t accomplished since transforming into a human, Sesshoumaru entered the hut he now shared with the lecherous monk. His poor sight was able to discern no more than Miroku’s back as he hunched curiously into the far wall.

Soundless footprints allowed him unacknowledged access. And once inside, he stood deathly still to study the strange man, and discover what he was up to. After a moment of labored breathing, and appreciative groans, Sesshoumaru decided that enough was enough.

So close now that he was near enough to touch him, Sesshoumaru cleared his throat, causing the monk to startle, and turn, and look the threat in his eye. Raw fear was soon replaced with unjustified relief. Followed by a very guilty, nervous grin; only ever employed by a man who had just been caught.

Though he was sure it was nothing good, the Western Lord was yet unable to discern what his offense actually was.

“What are you doing?” the older male demanded, deep tone authoritative and menacing. And though the monk made to obstruct his view of the wall, Sesshoumaru could plainly see that a wide crack in the hut’s side was indeed the subject of Miroku’s attention.

“Oh, Sesshoumaru-sama! I hope you are faring well this evening, my lord!” He was palpably nervous, though he hid it better than most men would likely be able to. His uneasy grin begged to be looked past. But though his senses had been hampered, Sesshoumaru was still remarkably perceptive.

“What is that?”

The monk held both his hands suspiciously behind his back. And though he hadn’t seen what he was holding as he entered the dwelling, it was clear that Miroku had meant to keep it from him.

Recognizing the futility in lying to the former demon; he sheepishly removed his arms out from behind him, and did his best to casually explain the unfamiliar item to the lord.

“Oh, these are called binoculars!” he announced, holding them out for inspection. “Kagome-sama was kind enough to bring them from her time. She is aware of my love for bird watching. Such a considerate woman.”

Looking down to the strange object he had never before encountered, Sesshoumaru returned his gaze to the monk, and lifted an eyebrow in suspicious assessment.

“There are no birds out at this hour.” And even if there were, a human would not be able to make them out in the dark night.

Sesshoumaru knew this because he himself could see nothing without the aid of the lanterns, much like the ones kept in the travelers’ huts. And if he could not make out the offerings of nature in the night, there was no way that this human would be able to.

For his part, Miroku didn’t stammer. Stutter, or hesitate. It seemed this man had an easy answer for everything, and was quick enough to offer it confidently. “Not true!” he insisted. “Why, I often see the most beautiful owls-”

But a hard glare from the Lord of the West stopped his explanation in its tracks.

Unable to continue in the face of such devastating scrutiny, he watched as Sesshoumaru held out a hand expectantly. And, resigned to his fate, he appeased the intimidating lord by handing over the object in his hand so that he might inspect it himself.

He turned the binoculars in his hold with great interest. And, seeing how they would likely be used, he put the glass up to his eye. It took a moment to adjust his vision. But once he relaxed his eye to discover how it worked, he inspected the hut with his new advanced sight.

Things were too big, too blurry to discern. There were set to peruse things at a slightly longer distance. Realizing what he had intended, Sesshoumaru placed the magnifier up to the crack in the wall, and moved to place his eye on the lens.

With how dark it had been outside, only one thing was allowed to be seen. Not too far - but far enough - in the neighboring hut, lanterns lit from within as he looked into the unobscured window of the ladies’ sleeping quarters.

It was foolish of them to allow an uncovered window to face the same side as the hut of the males. But his window faced out the opposite way, and he supposed the homes were far enough apart to allow for the illusion of solitude. They probably thought they were safe, but the large crack in the back of his hut - accompanied by the magnifying eyepiece - allowed a very good view of the goings on in the enclosed room.

And, fully expecting privacy, the miko within the hut apparently saw fit to wander about within her walls wearing absolutely nothing.

Nothing he hadn’t seen before, the shock of witnessing Kagome’s bared form had more to do with the unexpectedness of simply seeing a naked woman, seemingly out of nowhere. He offhandedly realized that the last nude woman he had been privy to had been this particular girl as well.

Facing away from him, the dip of her back gliding into the curve of her hips appeared far differently to him than it had the other night. Back then, her body was close - near enough to be very intimately pressed against his hard frame. From this range, he was more able to take in the overall completeness of her womanly figure. It was nothing he desired. Only something he realized he could now appreciate begrudgingly from a distance.

“Quite a sight, is it not my lord?”

When the monk ventured closer with a seemingly knowing grin, Sesshoumaru’s eyes slid over to him disapprovingly. He scowled as he removed the object from his eye, and turned to the offender.

“The women would not appreciate this being brought to their attention.” The threat lacing his tone caused Miroku to sober. And recognizing the insinuation, he adopted a grave appearance. 

“You are correct, my lord. I strongly suggest not telling them.” His poorly concealed plea was met with only silence, and he took the opportunity to try to bargain with the displeased man in his hut. “There are many amazing sights to behold often at this hour. Perhaps you would like to indulge...”

In making him an accomplice, his silence on the matter could be bought. Unlucky for Miroku, Sesshoumaru did not share his interest in peering at unsuspecting girls in the nude. Pity.

“Even if I did desire to gaze upon mortal women, such an act is dishonorable.” He eyed him up and down. “You are depraved.”

His accusation caused the monk to hang his head slightly, though Sesshoumaru was certain it was all for show.

“You are not wrong, my lord,” he conceded almost too easily. “In fact, I must go now to pray for forgiveness from the kami for my impurities, and I shall not return until I can forgive myself as well.”

Totally not buying his remorse, Sesshoumaru made it more than clear in his condemning glare. But the monk continued his performance anyhow, and quickly.

“It should be quite a while. Have a good evening, Sesshoumaru-sama.” All too eager to make his exit, Miroku maneuvered around his roommate to make for the door. But as he reached the threshold, he froze. 

Turning around, he reached into his robes, and held something out for him. “I almost forgot... here.” 

The ninja star had been washed of a certain farmer’s blood. The monk must have pocketed it in the midst of the commotion he had caused at the market. 

Considering the gift a moment, Sesshoumaru finally held out his hand to accept it, and tucked it in his clothes. He glared at Miroku as he rushed from the hut.

‘Fool,’ he thought disdainfully, the second he was out the door.

Studying the binoculars in his hand another moment, he lifted them to look around the modest dwelling. 

He played with the settings. A quick study; he immediately taught himself how to adjust them, and practiced looking at items around the room at various distances. He had to admit, the object was impressive.

‘Much better,’ he conceded. It was almost as good as his eyesight had been before the transformation. He missed his superior senses, and took some pleasure in the brief reminder of what he had once been. What he would be again, he assured himself.

After taking a moment to inspect various items throughout the hut with his new toy; he quickly became bored again, and lowered them.

His eyes drew back to the split in the wood, and he frowned. He wondered if the monk had created the gap for his own perverted purposes. But after stepping closer to inspect it fully, he reached the conclusion that is was simply a manufacturing error.

He studied the crack for a long, thoughtful moment. Then, he ventured a look at the girls’ hut with his naked eye, noting the difference without the use of his tool. Finally, he looked again to the binoculars in his grasp.

‘Just once more, to test out the distance again,” he decided. But after a moment of self-doubt, he rationalized further. ‘Surely the miko will have covered herself by now.’ He lifted it slowly to his eye, and peered into her window.

‘Wrong. Foolish miko. How long does she plan to wander naked around her hut?’

And she was the one scolding him for allowing himself to be exposed to the elements? First the skimpy skirt, and now this? He should have a word with her about her own choice of wardrobe, but he quickly realized he couldn’t without exposing his own shameful deeds.

She was still facing away from him, giving an unbidden view of her glorious backside. She appeared to be readying items for herself for the next day; laying out clothing, and pulling various items from her strange pack.

When she bent over to place her bag on the floor, it felt like every last drop of his blood rushed to his groin. She was, however unknowingly, currently presenting herself to him as a willing bitch who desired a rut. He reasoned that it was why his body was reacting so strongly. Despite being human, years of inuyoukai instinct could not be snuffed out entirely.

Reflexively, moved his hand downward to grab his throbbing shaft. With distracted haste, he simply adjusted his cock so that it would rest more comfortably against his sculpted belly while in its engorged state, and released it again once trapped securely in his waistband. The tip poked out above his clothes, sitting well above his navel.

That’s enough, he decided. He shouldn’t be watching her. Only a pathetic fool like the monk gazed upon women without their knowledge. He was not in the same class as one such as he.

But he couldn’t seem to tear himself away. He continued to watch Kagome move aimlessly about her hut, with the magnifying lens pressed firmly to his eye.

The new technology was just simply very fascinating...

Seeing her bared back, exposed throat and shoulders; he thought back to the night in the cave. How she had spread across his form. Completely nude, as he had been. He remembered every shift, every caress. The sounds of want that escaped when she-

His thoughts were derailed when she finally turned to face him. Rosy tipped peaks greeted his hungry view. He followed them down past the dip of her navel to the small patch of finely groomed curls at the juncture of her hip.

He remembered how she felt, as he placed his fingers between her slick folds. How she wantonly she moaned, as she readily took the pleasure he so generously offered her. How wet she had been, as she bucked shamelessly into his hand.

He remembered how she tasted. How sweet even her sweat had been as he used his formidable tongue to warm the icy peaks of her heaving chest. How he hovered over her. How she appreciated it...

His hand moved timidly, as he pressed it to rest against the chiseled muscle of his hard stomach. He licked his lips as he willed himself to stay still, but slowly - so slowly - his traitorous appendage began to move of its own accord.

He wanted - _needed -_ so desperately to feel relief. To find release. And as he watched her, still standing naked before him - unbeknownst to the voyeur who shameless raked over her tempting form - he traveled lower; tortuously steady, continuing on a journey that could see to ending this painful desire that coursed through his blood.

As he watched her, his mind continually supplied him with reminders from that night. He knew what she felt like, and he imagined her beneath him once again. Panting, moaning, reacting to him so shamelessly until finally screaming his name at the height of her pleasure.

And though he knew how wonderful her soft body felt pressed against his own, he wondered - _imagined_ \- what it would feel like wrapped tightly around him. Gripping him. Squeezing him. Milking him of all he was worth, while he pumped into her wildly. Recklessly.

His hand continued its brutally measured movement, giving him a last chance to retreat. To come to his senses. To save himself some shame.

And once he nearly made contact with the tip of his throbbing manhood, dripping with seed as the shaft pulsed with the ache to be touched, he somehow found the will to stop himself.

He removed his hand in an instant. Breath ragged, he panted harshly through dry lips, and felt the sheen of sweat that had accumulated on his brow.

With something resembling a growl, he pulled the binoculars away from his eyes, and stuffed them beneath a pile of blankets left for his use beside his futon. He would not allow the monk to reclaim this item, knowing what he intended to use them for.

He grabbed his bag of ice - still frozen thanks to the weather and intended for use on his eye - and smashed it roughly against his throbbing erection.

The bite of the cold was painful, but effective, as his stirred-up manhood shrank slowly, until finally back at bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there’s more. But this chapter got so huge, I decided to split it up into two chapters to make it easier to digest, and also to edit XD 
> 
> I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has been reading and reviewing all my stories lately. Your response really gives me a lot of encouragement, not to mention the fuel to continue onward. 
> 
> SessKag for life! Don’t you just love them?


	11. Wet Dreams May Come

_He’s back in the cave._

_The fire procured for his warmth just barely illuminates the darkened dwelling, as he lies on his back with her atop him._

_There is pressure. Wonderful, pleasing pressure, as her thigh grinds his dick into his belly, causing him to thrust upward in response to the friction._

_His hand - placed intently between her thighs - is rubbing purposeful circles into the swollen bud, puffing impossibly large in reaction to his expert attentions, and becoming wet. So wet._

_The juices coat his long, nimble fingers from tip down every knuckle as he glides them against her throbbing heat. She’s sopping in the way a woman needs to prepare for taking a male deep within her._

_And she would need the assistance._

_His cock, straining nearly beyond its limitations is desperate to replace his hand in its dutiful work._

_“Sesshoumaru.”_

_Its breathy. Needy. Demanding. At once begging and commanding him to help them both reach incredible peaks yet unknown, but seemingly inevitable._

_Her hair is disheveled. Haphazard, as it covers her face to sprawl out around her flushed chest and shoulders._

_She takes his busy hand from her wanting core, and leaning forward to place it back beyond his head, trapping to the ground with her own. He allows her to guide him._

_Sparkling blue eyes are only inches from his face, and staring right into his own. And she smiles. He smiles back, both seeming to know exactly what pleasures await them as soon as she juts her hips backward._

_And she does._

_In a fluid, impossible movement, and with seemingly minimal effort; he is inside her - completely inside her - and she begins rocking her hips in a soothing yet maddening rhythm, still keeping herself very close._

_There is no doubt._ _It’s the miko._

_Its Kagome._

_He lifts a gentle hand to tenderly brush hair behind her ear in order to grant an unobstructed view, but he knows it’s her. And it doesn’t bother him. It isn’t wrong. Its right._

_And good._ _So fucking good._

_She pushes herself back from him, all the while keeping her movements in perfect time with his greedy thrusts._

_His own hands aid her in her ascent, supporting her arms as she moves to sit back atop him fully. She needs the leverage, so that she may lift herself, and drop, and continue to bounce on his aching cock._

_They share a smile, comfortable and loving, only a moment before her own falters._

_It’s too good. She can’t take it._

_His cock fills her so perfectly, hitting the spots deep inside her which no other man - demon or human - could ever hope to reach._

_He is happy to give her pleasure. He is grateful that he can._

_For a woman who selflessly risked her life, put herself out and humiliated herself to save his own, was certainly deserving of such considerations._

_She arched herself back and moaned. But instead of rutting violently upward, as his beast was wont to do, he moved slowly. Gently. And his thoughtfulness was rewarded by the tight, almost torturous feeling of her walls clenching and clamping around the entirety of his girth._

_His hands rested on her hips, grabbing and holding as she continued her rocking movement on top of him. And as he splayed them at her flat stomach, and began a journey upward to finally feel her waiting breasts, he took note of his hands._

_Claws._

_Stripes._

_He was a demon again._

_Looking to his side, tendrils of silver cascaded around him. And all he could think was how pleased he was to be himself, so that he may fuck this woman properly, with no inadequacies or limitation._

_“Fuck me,” she demanded. She begged, looking everywhere but him, but still very focused on her task._

_‘Yes,’ he agreed, more than willing to comply._

_He rose up to sit, keeping her working pelvis in place by way of his very much demon hands._

_He thrust upward again, meeting the rolls of her hips in perfect time. Their noses were almost touching._

_He could feel her hot, shaky breathing against his striped cheekbones, and she wrapped her hands behind his shoulders, to steady herself. To pull him nearer._

_They looked into each other's eyes, all the while still bouncing from the copulation._

_It was her. He had to know it was her. And he did._

_He allowed the pleading look in her eye to linger only a second, before pressing himself forward, and taking her lips forcefully with his own._

_Her hands raked through his hair, and he decided he wanted to do the same. Grabbing through her thick locks with his clawed hand, he held her tightly to him to lend his kiss more power._

_The other was on her hip, and she moved to grab his shoulders._

_Pulling her tongue away from his, she pushed away from him. He was desperate to reclaim her soft mouth with his own, but she resisted. There was something she needed him to know._

_“I’m coming,” she informed him, voice barely above a whisper. And she repeated,"_ _I’m coming.”_

_And then she did._

_Wordlessly, her face contorted as it could barely contain her pleasure from his entranced gaze. Her mouth opened in a silent scream while she screwed her eyes shut. And he reveled in it._

_The sight of her climaxing was wonderful. And he watched it, as he felt it as well._

_Her walls were gripping down on him incredibly tight. And as he continued to pump into her for her pleasure, all he could feel was the wet heat of her quivering pussy around his sturdy cock._

_And then he came._

_Pleasure ripping from his body was an unexplainable relief. And as he ejaculated, only one thing consumed his mind..._

_Kagome..._

* * *

He awoke with a start. Sitting upright in bed, reality came upon him slowly.

He uncomfortably realized he was now stewing in his own juices. But more than the physical discomfort, he was horrified to recall what it was that exactly brought him to such a state.

“Are you alright, Sesshoumaru-sama?”

His eyes drew to the monk who was meditating on his own roll across the hut.

No. He wasn’t alright.

He couldn’t hide the distress in his features, made all the more glaring by the thin sheen of sweat which covered his entire form.

It had felt so real.

“Another nightmare?”

The monk looked upon him with well-guarded concern. But Sesshoumaru couldn’t deny how accurate he was. Slowly, he only nodded.

But what else did the perceptive lecher pick up on?

“It must have been a doozy. You were whining and moaning quite pitifully in your sleep. Was it Rin again?”

About the farthest thing from it. But though he was grateful to have finally gotten some reprieve from the terrible visions of monsters harming his pup, he wasn’t so sure what he had just experienced could be considered much better.

And if he had let a few noises escape him last night, what else might the monk have heard?

“I do not remember,” he lied, perhaps letting his guard slip somewhat in his disorientation. “Did you hear me say anything?” He hoped he hadn’t given voice to the thoughts in his dream.

Shocked by actually getting a response, Miroku’s eyebrows shot up into his bangs. “Nothing.” Sesshoumaru relaxed slightly at the news. “But it sounded like someone was really giving it to you.”

He deserved a medal for the way he schooled his stoic mask into offering no reaction. After a moment of silence, he thought he was off the hook, until the monk proceeded... carefully.

“I am certain you have realized by now how demanding a man’s body can be. If only our women had such insatiable appetites.” Miroku’s cautious approach did well in hiding his intent with concern. Mostly.

“I am aware of my reputation,” he easily confessed. “And I admit, perhaps I am less able to restrain myself than most. But ours is a powerful biology.”

Adjusting himself in a - slightly - more comfortable seated position, Sesshoumaru made a point in avoiding the man’s gaze as he spoke. Though he could do naught but listen.

“Men have a physical need to procreate. I certainly do,” he admitted with a small grin that lacked none of his seriousness. “And I much prefer the intended way of handling my body’s call, by inviting a woman to join in on the pleasures it affords.”

No kidding. It seemed that everyone was quite aware of the monk’s various exploits. Were all human males as impossibly susceptible to the pleasures of the flesh as the one beside him? He was beginning to wonder.

“Other men seem more able to restrain themselves. I do not recommend it, but hey, to each his own. More girls for me, you know?” He finally earned the Western Lord’s attention, as an eyebrow was raised at the monk’s declaration. He only shrugged in response. “But if you do not find a method to expel the desire from your body, I’m afraid that the kami will step in and do it for you. While you sleep.”

He supposed he was being as tactful as he could be, while being as direct and obvious as was called for. Sesshoumaru couldn’t help but appreciate the blunt explanation, as well as the roundabout method of delivery. At least a portion of his dignity could remain intact.

Miroku followed his lesson with a piece of advice. “Kagome-sama has pulled a lot of washing duty lately, what with your propensity to bloody up your clothing. Perhaps it would be kind of you to take on those chores yourself today, and wash whatever of yours might need tending.”

...And save yourself the embarrassment. Damn. It looked like he had earned himself another chore.

Miroku smartly awaited not response, and graciously left Sesshoumaru alone to clean himself up and prepare for his day.

He took only a moment to justify why his mind would deliver him such images. He decided that perhaps it was his penance. Justice, delivered directly by the kami for looking upon the woman last night while she had been unaware.

But perhaps, if he had taken further measures to see to his desires, things would not have gotten so out of hand. Either way, he would place the blame at the monk’s feet. For had he not been exposed to such unseemly behavior, he was certain he never would have considered such things.

* * *

Despite being given a free pass from the miko on account of his injuries, Inuyasha demanded he do his part by starting the mealtime fire.

Once breakfast had been eaten and supplies were cleaned up, he annoyed Sesshoumaru by taking a seat against the tree which his brother had been using for solitude from the group. Come to think of it, that was probably why he did it. But for some reason, Sesshoumaru wasn’t dissuaded from completing what had become his usual routine.

If Inuyasha was surprised when he sat cross legged not a few feet to the hanyou’s side, he didn’t show it. Neither were acknowledging the other, instead just taking in their surroundings, and the pack mates within them.

They sat in silence for several long moments. Inuyasha watching the slayer practicing moves with her Hiraikotsu, while Sesshoumaru’s contemplative gaze was upon the miko at the stream- who was on day two of her mission to get the blood out of his normally pristine haori.

Finally, and uncharacteristically, the elder broke the silence. “Do you prefer the company of males, brother?”

Not willing to give him the satisfaction of riling him, Inuyasha only smirked in response. “Sorry to disappoint you.”

His watchful eye never left his pack, but Sesshoumaru tore his from the scene to assess his brother more openly. “I have only inquired in regards to your attentions towards the miko... or lack thereof.” But that earned Inuyasha’s complete focus.

Crinkling his brow in confusion, he slid his eyes to Sesshoumaru only a moment, before returning them to his friends. “What are you getting at?”

“You are dense, but surely you must be aware of the feelings she so obviously harbors for you. Though the attraction remains a mystery to This One.”

It was plain as day to everyone with eyes. Even human eyes. Even before officially joining forces, Sesshoumaru had been aware of Kagome’s great affinity for his half-brother. The way she defended him; her fierce, protective loyalty. Her steadfast, unyielding devotion...

And he had always thought that the whelp harbored such affections for the girl as well. He had even taunted him over it in battle.

But now, living among them and seeing it up close, he noticed how Inuyasha responded to her obvious romantic regard with reluctance. Almost avoidance. So why?

“Keh, so? Why do you care?”

Sesshoumaru lifted his shoulder, and looked upon the miko once again. “I do not. I am simply curious.” If he’d had his demon hearing, he was certain he would have been privy to some very interesting language from the woman currently scrubbing his badly stained clothes. 

“You do not exactly have females storming your hut for their chance at an awkward, unsatisfying rut. Beggars cannot be choosers, so I wonder if the reason you have not taken advantage of the situation is that your proclivities lie elsewhere.”

Miroku had eluded to the same thing with him more than once. But it was different when he did it. They were friends, and he was giving him a hard time. Sesshoumaru only flipped him shit because he was wanted to hurt him.

So, it seemed very weird when his accusations were not tinged with his usual flavor of cruelty. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say he almost sounded concerned. But luckily, he knew better.

“Not everyone is an amoral, opportunistic prick like you,” he informed him. “Kagome is my friend, and friends don’t take advantage of each other.” Inuyasha’s eyes cut to the school girl briefly upon mentioning her, but Sesshoumaru noticed how his gaze quickly traveled back to the taijiya and her boomerang practice. 

Inuyasha watched as she aimed, and threw, and caught her formidable weapon with a skill earned by years of grueling discipline. But Sesshoumaru was watching his brother. Noticed the respect in his eyes. The pride in his posture, the... oh.

He had seen that look on a male’s face before. Some pathetic beings take to yearning for that which they cannot have. Sesshoumaru wouldn’t know anything about that personally, but he could recognize it now in his brother’s features. Longing.

“Ah. Now I see,” he announced with superiority. “You lust for the slayer.”

Inuyasha sputtered. “What? You’re crazy!” he accused with a blush.

“Now I know I am correct,” he supplied with great confidence, straightening his posture in his seat. “I do not need my youkai scent to see your untruth. It is written all over your face.”

And though decidedly uncomfortable with his brother’s declaration, he wasn’t able to tell him he was wrong. After so many years of enduring Sesshoumaru’s ability to discern lies by scent alone, he had never acquired the skill set to mislead the demon.

“She is the reason you have not pursued the miko. You prefer her.”

Seeing no point in arguing, he still felt the need to defend himself. “That ain’t It!” he insisted, but the way his brother’s eyebrow arched, it was clear he wasn’t buying it. He backpedaled. “Well, not completely.”

Sesshoumaru waited surprisingly patiently for Inuyasha to elaborate.

“I wanted Kagome at first,” he admitted with a sigh. “Who wouldn’t? She’s beautiful, and sweet... but that’s why I can’t be with her.” He adopted a grim countenance, as a wave of regret seemed to wash over him. “Every time I see her face, all I can see is Kikyo.” He dropped his gaze, as if in shame as he continued his confession. “I told myself that it wasn’t fair to always be comparing them, but the truth is, it hurts too much. Every time I look at her, all I can see is what I lost. No matter how much I tried to ignore it.”

Inuyasha regarded his brother, to find himself being watched intently. “I could never be happy with her if I have to be reminded of Kikyo every moment.”

Sesshoumaru knew about his former lover. He had even encountered her a handful of times before she sealed the boy to the tree. He had always thought her a useless novelty. Though at the time, he was amused at her ability to render the pup so helpless. The 50-year vacation from his annoying little brother had been at the behest of her arrow, after all.

He was also aware of Kagome’s affiliation. She was supposed to be her reincarnation, or so he was told. But he had never noticed the two bearing any sort of resemblance. Aside, of course, from the fact that all humans looked more or less the same to him.

“What is it about the slayer that captivates you so?”

The hanyou gave a look which betrayed incredulity.

“You blind? Look at her! She’s strong, and compassionate...” He got a dopey grin on his face as he watched the woman continue with her training. “A great fighter and a loyal friend. And look at her curves in that outfit, fuck!”

At his brother’s request, he did take in the form of the warrior. He supposed, for a human, she could be considered attractive. If you liked that sort of thing.

Sesshoumaru decidedly did not, and was never unwilling to tell anyone so. “All humans are filth in This One’s eyes.”

“Yeah, have fun with that,” he mocked with a sneer. “Trust me, even though you’re a pretty boy, ain’t no demon gonna touch you now.” He smiled then as something occurred to him. “I hope you like jerking off.”

Both brothers were all too aware of how demon kind viewed humanity. They were weak, lowly beings. Totally unworthy of any consideration. Such affiliations were considered quite scandalous. It was why their father’s indiscretion had caused such an uproar. Even the most powerful demon in the world couldn’t normalize such a union in the eyes of his own kind. Even in the eyes of his subjects.

The familiar reaction had Sesshoumaru turning inward. “That is precisely what the miko surmised.”

In the cave, before they had left for this village, she had less than tactfully informed him that his attitude toward human women would ensure his need to take care of his desires himself. And that was fine with him. Considering the alternative, he would happily see to his own needs.

Of course, he hadn’t expected them to come on as strongly, or as often, as they had been.

“Well, you might not need to fuck, but the rest of us do.” He watched Sango intently as she stretched high to catch her weapon. Her long, lean form nearly caused his eyes to hood in appreciation. “It pays to be nice.”

‘Not worth it,’ he decided. Though he still couldn’t help but ask, “In that case, why have you not approached her?”

His brother’s sudden scrutiny was becoming awkward. But Inuyasha sighed, and attempted to explain things to his cold-hearted brother. “Because. She is Miroku’s woman. Guys don’t do that to each other.”

“The monk will lay with anything with two legs and a pulse.” After considering his declaration for a moment, he amended. “I am not even certain the two legs is a requirement.” 

Inuyasha couldn’t help but snort at that. 

“He cannot be that serious about her.”

Despite his disinterest, Sesshoumaru was surprisingly insightful. He had always been perceptive; he had just not been compelled enough to involve himself in their dealings, or waste his valuable time considering them.

But now, with a painful amount of time to kill waiting for the hanyou’s recovery, his only form of entertainment seemed to be to poke holes in this pack’s dynamic, and study for his education. And perhaps, his amusement.

Inuyasha didn’t appreciate his sudden scrutiny, but he hated even more how accurate he appeared to be. 

It was hard to watch Sango have to deal with Miroku’s infidelity. He could care for her so much better than he did. 

But it also didn’t seem right to feel such things about another man’s girl. And a packmate, at that.

As much as he wanted them to break up for his benefit, it would hurt the pack, and his first obligation was to them. The burden of duty weighed on him heavily, yet took precedence over his romantic infatuation.

He crossed his arms in his sleeves, and resignedly leaned back against the tree, closing his eyes in contempt. “Keh, so you are an expert all of a sudden?”

But he could hardly claim that. Sesshoumaru was undoubtedly perceptive. Even in his human state, his instincts were excellent, and supplying him with information that his dulled senses now could not. But when it came to humanity, and those who dwelled within in, he had almost no experience in matters pertaining to their hearts.

Perhaps that was why he was so inquisitive. He was learning in real time. He supposed it would work to his benefit, now that he was living in their skin.

Speak of the monk inspired Sesshoumaru to ask a question. He thought to this morning. And last night. And really, every day since his transformation, and did his best not to sound awkward.

“Are all humans cursed with an uncontrollable lust?”

Still referring to Miroku, Inuyasha cracked an eye at his brother. “Well, he is, for sure.”

Sesshoumaru slid his gaze sideways, careful as not to seem too interested. “And you?”

Inuyasha shrugged. “I dunno. Sometimes. But I wouldn’t say it is uncontrollable.” An amusing thought struck the hanyou then, and he smiled. “Why? Having problems?”

The mockery in his tone only fueled Sesshoumaru’s reluctance to divulge. The last thing he wanted was to talk about his carnal woes with his younger brother, but he was decidedly short on resources at the moment. He had hoped that with time and healing, his issues would begin to subside. But they didn’t seem to be going anywhere. If confiding in the hanyou could bear any fruit, he conceded he would do well to take him into his confidence. 

Perhaps this was one subject where he could actually provide some insight. Asking the monk was out. That particular man did not have an enviable grasp on such things, and there was no way Sesshoumaru was going to start emulating him.

Looking into the distance - at nothing in particular - he begrudgingly gave voice to his troubles. “The urges I now feel are powerful... and constant.”

Inuyasha’s eyes widened a fraction in surprise that he actually received a response. He was only teasing him, but he found he couldn’t interrupt as his brother spilled his guts.

“In my demon form, such feelings were brief and easily extinguished. This weak body’s reaction to even the slightest...” He lost himself to his thoughts for a brief moment, but corrected himself quickly. “It is unacceptable.”

After the initial shock wore off, Inuyasha sifted through this new information. Was it really so different for demons? Sure, he remembered coming of age - years ago, long before Kikyo - when his body started demanding things he had yet to understand. His noticeable reaction to females suddenly went from nonexistent to a raging, full on war within, as instinct constantly demanded he find a mate and take her, regardless even of suitability.

But Sesshoumaru was much older than him. As much as he hated to think about it, the demon must have withstood similar occurrences as he went through youkai puberty... whatever that was.

There must be something about his human body that was terribly different for him. Maybe he’d already mastered his demon calling, and the effects it had on his body. But this human form was still very new to him.

Perhaps there was something about humanity that demons just didn’t ever have to contend with. He supposed it made sense. Compared to demons, humans were incredibly short lived. However, their populations seemed to multiply exponentially in contrast to their youkai counterparts.

After taking two human females into his pack, Inuyasha was quick to learn that they become fertile each month, opposed to a demoness’s annual cycle. Perhaps the males’ bodies were made to keep up with such demands of their species.

Their race appeared to constantly clamor to reproduce, before their lives flickered out, seemingly before they even began. It would explain Sesshoumaru’s current predicament.

Funny, he always just thought that Miroku was a pervert. But being the only man Inuyasha had ever befriended, maybe it was something all mortal men had to deal with.

Sesshoumaru was trying not to look uncomfortable as his brother seemed to contemplate what he told him. And he was shocked to find the boy actually intended to be helpful.

“Well, you could always do something about it,” he suggested simply. “Why don’t you take a trip to the nearby village with Miroku? He could introduce you to some of the girls he knows.”

He wanted to scoff. If it was female companionship he desired, he could have taken the slayer up on her lascivious offer. Never mind that he very nearly did. But the miko advised against it, for fear of causing unrest within the group.

If he wanted to seek out a woman, he was sure he could handle such an undertaking on his own. That wasn’t the advice he was looking for. He was hoping the hanyou had a method of controlling his desires without succumbing to them. Herbs, or something...

“Rin is my priority,” he imparted haughtily. “I haven’t the time to engage in courting.”

It wasn’t exactly true. While waiting for his brother to heal, he had very little to occupy him while he passed the drudging hours. Perhaps being in the company of a woman would be preferable to enduring the goings on of this obnoxious little pack. But it still didn’t sit well with him. It felt too much like giving in. He preferred to find a way to control his base urges.

“Keh, what he does down their ain’t courting. There are plenty of girls who are willing to help relieve you of your stress, for a price. If you know what I mean.”

Sesshoumaru only looked at him with a blank expression. This had to be a contender for the most surreal conversation he’d ever taken part in.

Sensing his assessment, Inuyasha broke eye contact. “I'm just sayin, maybe a little distraction real quick would help ease your pain a bit. Not to mention, help you sleep. Maybe a good rut will solve your nightmare problem, even if it's just for a night.” He couldn't believe he was encouraging his brother to go get laid.

“Are you speaking from experience?” Sesshoumaru asked hopefully. An educated opinion was far better than a speculative one. But what's more, he was surprised to realize he was actually interested in his answer.

The brothers had never been close, to greatly understate things. And outside of familial ties, and the swords that sliced them asunder, neither could claim to know very much at all about the other. He wondered about Inuyasha’s habits suddenly. His conquests. But for the life of him, he could not discern why.

And for some crazy reason, the hanyou saw fit to answer. “I’ve only gone with him a couple times,” he admitted with a shrug. “But I ain’t a fiend like the lecher.”

It was doubtful that any could claim such a thing. He didn’t know if the monk was particularly insatiable, or perhaps Inuyasha’s demon blood kept his appetites more reasonable. Either way, Sesshoumaru had no desire to emulate either male.

He thought of the monk’s advice to him that morning, and the dream he’d had before it. Perhaps there would be benefits to engaging in such a thing. He certainly did not want today’s events to be repeated. But nothing about his brother’s idea sat right with him.

“I should not like to risk it. Even the chance of being touched by a woman who has pleasured a half demon is enough to begin a whole new round of unpleasant dreams.” And with that, the friendly brotherly exchange was over. 

Perhaps he didn’t know how to be anything other than nasty to his closest remaining kin. Old habits die hard, after all. Or perhaps it made him uncomfortable to erode the shores of their palpable disdain for one another.

Seeing his brother return right back to full asshole mode, Inuyasha was suddenly hit with a painful reminder of his past.

“Never stopped you before. You didn’t seem to mind Kara touching you when we were younger.” 

Inuyasha’s first. A young demoness who began paying him visits after a chance run in with her father. He had claimed to know his old man, and sought him out to make the acquaintance of the younger son of his fallen comrade. Unlike other demons, that particular inuyoukai seemed to harbor no ill will toward the outcasted half breed.

Apparently, their fathers had fought side by side during many a war in their youth. He would come by from time to time, to check up on the general’s youngest son and ensure he was faring well enough. He brought his daughter along on occasion, and a mutual attraction had developed.

She was never terribly serious about him. A half demon was no legitimate prospect for a full blooded inuyoukai with noble heritage. If anything, her interest in him seemed more a morbid curiosity than anything else. But at least she wasn’t disgusted with him outright, as most demonesses tended to be.

She’d let him fuck her a few times, but those trysts were over fairly quickly. He didn’t know if it was her intention all along to get her hands on his famous brother, or if Sesshoumaru simply swooped in to take yet another thing from his claws. Perhaps it was both.

“I did mind,” he informed him with a sneer. “I could not find a spring hot enough to cleanse me of your residual stench after laying with her. It seems my generosity never fails to go unpunished.”

Inuyasha’s scowl never left him as he released a short, humorless laugh. “Yeah, you’re a real saint.”

“It shall not be repeated,” he assured him. “You have my word that I shall never again touch any female you have had.”

But it wasn’t for the sake of pack loyalties. Inuyasha knew that his brother was implying that he did not wish to be sullied by any woman who would have him. Luckily, he would not come across one easily.

Quite finished with the Western Lord’s most unpleasant company, Inuyasha stood. He had better things to do, like sorting rocks. Sesshoumaru made a point to look away as his brother addressed him with his parting words.

“Not that you could. Look at you. Just another weak human, with a bashed-up face.” He could tell that his insult left his brother unaffected. Sesshoumaru was a cold bastard, and he didn’t feel anything.

Inuyasha decided he would do well to emulate him in that.


	12. Training Day

Sesshoumaru frowned as he noticed the miko determinedly making her way over to him. Each purposeful step she crunched into the receding snow caused the foreboding in his being to increase exponentially. She was the last person he wanted to see at the moment.

Ever since his raunchy dream that morning, he had been doing his best to avoid contact, and when it was unavoidable; he kept his comments clipped and icy, so as to dissuade her from prolonging the encounter any more than was necessary.

He didn’t know why he expected that to work. It was the same tactic he had employed ever since the two had first become acquainted, and it had never worked back then either. 

It had with every other soul he had ever encountered, but not with her. For some reason, the miko remained immune to his cruelty and standoffishness.

She seemed to pick up on the displeasure he was doing his damnedest to project. Because though her steps never faltered, he noted the increasing apprehension in her features the closer she got to him.

But, par for the course, her determination won out, and he realized she wouldn’t be frightened off. He would have liked to believe it was his humanity which inspired such courage in the woman, but her audacious tenacity in response to his constant threat was admittedly nothing new.

The image of her riding his cock was still very fresh in his mind. The unfortunate dream had occupied his thoughts throughout the morning, but they were absolutely impossible to ignore with her standing right in front of him.

He had seen her face so clearly in his head while he slept. There was no use trying to convince himself it had been anyone else, so he hadn’t even attempted it. Lying to himself had never been a skill he had knowingly possessed. In that moment, he wished he had the ability.

And though the memory of her nude body - from both the cave, and from the night before - allowed him to recall her with impeccable accuracy, it wasn’t what plagued his thoughts when looking upon her in the flesh. ‘Those eyes.’

The passionate need that burned there. The unyielding acceptance. And so uniquely blue. Though much different now than they had been in his dream, they were quick to draw him back to those intensely charged moments within his slumber. It was easier to just look away. So he did.

Turning his head slightly, he fixed his gaze onto one of his many chosen spots on the distant horizon. When she stood before him awaiting acknowledgement, she would not receive it. Just as expected.

She kept her annoyance at his rudeness under rein. It was nothing she wasn’t accustomed to. Besides, she was here to ask a favor, and Sesshoumaru did not take kindly to disrespect. Actually, he didn’t take kindly to most anything.

And for some reason, despite her unusually submissive demeanor toward him today, he was being especially short with her this morning.

But she was becoming increasingly familiar with the ex-dog demon’s infuriating dismissal. It had been somewhat irksome before, but now, it was just offensive.

It took all she had from going off on him right there, and demanding he explain himself for his unpleasant behavior in the face of her undeserving accommodation.

When she realized he would not acknowledge her arrival, she decided to speak to the side of his head. She had not come down here for nothing, after all.

“I was thinking,” she began, and thought to demur to his - obviously pressing - schedule. “if you have the time, maybe we can practice those kata moves you said you would show me.”

With chores all done and hours to kill, she decided it was as good as time as any to take him up on his unprecedented kindness, in his offer to show her some of his formations. Kagome believed that everyone had their strengths, and Sesshoumaru’s were of a physical nature. At least, they had been.

But this was probably her best chance to get his watered-down version of skills fit for a human. She’d decided she better take advantage of the opportunity while she had the chance.

He answered faster than she expected, though he had still not seen fit to regard her openly. In fact, she was rather surprised he had responded at all. Though she couldn’t help but assume his quick reply had everything to do with his desire to be through with this exchange as soon as possible.

“I have already practiced today.” And he had. He preferred to start his day off training his body as best as he was able. As a demon who required almost no sleep, he still chose the wee hours of the early morning to train with his famous and formidable weapons. The ones he once had.

Sunrise was superior for many reasons, but the solitude he enjoyed while the rest of the world slept may have been his favorite benefit. Though he had never been one to keep in the company of others, his youkai senses made him more than aware of every being within a reasonable distance, and he took great pleasure in his ability to act and exist beneath their notice. Despite his overwhelming and intimidating presence, he was a master of stealth.

He found his current - and constant - proximity to others quite unreasonable, but he was incredibly resilient. He would make do with what best was available to him.

Of course, she didn’t need to know that he often took to his training several times throughout the day, or that he had even been considering leaving to do exactly that right before she had approached him. But now, it appeared that he couldn’t. Not alone, anyhow. This woman was impossible to shake.

“Come on, you’re just sitting there,” she accurately accused. “Aren't you bored?”

Boredom couldn't begin to define how he had felt in this camp while awaiting his brother’s long-suffering recovery. But with how things had progressed, he found that boredom was an acceptable alternative to the discomfort he felt in tallying and assessing his current social woes.

When she got no response, she continued her plea. “You can take 20 minutes to just show me a few basics. After that, I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the day. I promise.”

A tempting offer. She was learning quite well how to persuade him. But even 20 minutes seemed like a life sentence at present. What he needed now was space, from her in particular. And plenty of it.

He continued to avoid looking her way as he answered. “Not now, miko. I haven’t the patience for you at the moment.”

The lack of snow crunching beneath her feet told him that she wasn’t moving. He didn’t know why he wasn’t being crueler, to encourage her retreat. And he could not fathom the relief he felt when she didn’t immediately respond with upset. He had prepared himself for her incredulous outrage. But she surprised him again with the softness in her tone.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Something about her insecurity inspired an unwelcome discomfort in his chest, but he pushed it aside to dredge up an answer for her. Existing in his presence seemed like an egregious enough offense at the moment. But as he wracked his brain for a sufficient slight, he came up empty. In fact, the usually disrespectful and inappropriate woman had been uncharacteristically meek today.

Figures. The one time he needed an excuse to be cross with her.

But he was Sesshoumaru. He was unaccustomed to requiring a reason to do anything.

“You’ve been particularly pissy with me all day. I was just wondering if I had done something to deserve it.” Her voice was sturdy, and sure. And she had a reason to be. She wasn’t wrong. He supposed it wasn’t her fault that he had dreamed about her.

Well, she could have dressed herself sooner last night when he watched her in the hut. But then, he really shouldn’t have been watching her in the first place.

He was going to find a way to get even with that lecherous monk.

But he couldn’t tell her the real reason he wished to avoid her. So, when an acceptable excuse popped into his head, he finally turned his gaze on her, making a point to focus on her forehead, and not those distracting blue depths.

“Is it not possible that I simply am having difficulties with my new form?” he tried, appealing to her compassionate nature. It seemed to strike a chord, so he quickly continued on. “I require a bit of time for personal reflection, yet you somehow assume my demeanor has everything to do with you. Such vanity.” There. That should do it.

This woman had an annoying habit of inserting herself in the dealings of everyone she came in contact with. She took it upon herself to try to find a way to help even those who didn’t wish for it.

He surmised that the miko must garner some personal satisfaction in feeling she was able to make a difference in the lives of others. It must be how she obtained her worth. So really, her generosity was a very self-serving act. Sesshoumaru refused to play into her hand. None would receive any enjoyment from attempting to assist him in any way. He refused to give them the satisfaction.

But as his accusation seemed to land, the falling of her features for some reason caused a heavy ache throughout his form. He wanted to stop her before she responded, yet he could not. He wasn’t sure if she was too quick in her reaction, or if he was too hesitant in his recant.

“You’re right.” Her sorrowful agreement was not what he was expecting. But she seemed to realize her offense, even though he kind of made it up on the fly.

Regret was a strange and unfamiliar reaction for him. He marveled at how the look on her face was an accurate representation of how he himself currently felt. Though he was much better at containing it. In contrast, she didn’t appear to even be trying.

This woman wore her substantial heart on her sleeve. And though it was not an intelligent move on the battlefield, he couldn’t help but feel like he was the fool, for being the only of the two to be working to hide his emotions from the other.

Why did he seem concerned with masking his discomfort, when she did not? Was it simply because he was far better than she with matters of strategy? What use did strategy have in matters such as this?

She hid nothing. She was laid bare. It was a foolish thing to expose one’s self so to their opponent.

But they were not opponents. Not anymore. Not now, anyway.

His stoic mask had always been considered a great skill. Why now, with this vexing young woman, did he feel the lesser for keeping himself from her view? Why did he have so much to hide, when she appeared to hide nothing?

But with her, he did not feel deficient in his demonic abilities to dissect another’s motives though his heightened senses alone.

For he had no need to. Everything this miko felt and thought were plain as day. Exposed, unbidden, by way of her aura and facial expressions. When he looked at her, he felt as if he could read her mind. But not because he was all knowing or all powerful. It was at her allowance. She concealed nothing. And his ability to discern every thought and motive made him feel even more capable than when he had his awesome strengths readily at his disposal.

All she gave was all that he needed. There was nothing duplicitous about this woman. And just for a moment, he felt like himself again. But it had nothing to do with him. It had everything to do with her.

And yet, he allowed nothing. Gave her nothing to work with. That was his intention, after all.

How must it feel for her? If he felt so comfortable in knowing her every emotion, so freely offered; did it mean that she felt equally as terrible, in being unable to discern anything about him? But that was the point. That was what he wanted.

For some reason, it was not at all a pleasing thought.

And all the while, the regret and sorrow on her features persisted. He suppressed yet another action- a frown. For he knew she would speak. And he somehow knew her words would displease him.

“You must be going through so much,” she forced her gaze from the ground to regard him bravely in the eyes. He knew she wished to shy away. He was an intimidating presence to endure. But yet, she did. “but all I have been thinking about all day is how your attitude has been making me feel.”

That was good, wasn’t it?

He should be satisfied. It worked. He got her out of his hair, and even removed that sparkle from her eye in the process.

That magnetic, captivating sparkle, that he was definitely not supposed to be looking at...

So why did his little victory feel so hollow?

Perhaps it was the fib. Sesshoumaru didn’t lie. Yet it was a habit he seemed to be adopting more often as of late. And not one he was particularly proud of. He should be doing and acting as he pleased, and making no apologies for how others perceived it.

“I’m sorry, Sesshoumaru,” she offered further. She was giving him exactly what he wanted, yet her acquiescence was like a blade through his gut. Her resigned self-loathing was yet another feeling that made itself overly clear on her soft features. And he wanted it gone.

“I’ll leave you alone.” She forced a tight smile. He didn’t know which of them it was for. “Just know that if I am doing anything to upset you, you can tell me about it. I might not realize that I am offending you, so we can talk about it, and I’ll do what I can to correct it. Okay?”

Stay out of my dreams? Maybe cover yourself more appropriately?

There was nothing she could do, short of staying out of his sight. But he conceded, that her absence hadn’t prevented him from thinking about her anyway. Even if it only was to curse her existence, and attempt to discover why it had happened in the first place.

Something was stuck in his throat. Though he didn’t know what, he had a burning desire to fix- whatever it was he seemed to break in the girl. But he couldn’t get it out.

She sadly turned, intending to leave him, when his brother appeared from out of nowhere to stop her retreat. He could never recall being so relieved to have the half breed in his presence.

‘Good. The hanyou is her keeper. She is his duty now.’

Throwing Sesshoumaru a brief, assessing glance for good measure, Inuyasha turned his focus on Kagome.

Startled at first; her mood changed on the turn of a dime, and a wide, genuine smile stretched itself across her gentle features. She looked incredibly relieved. For some reason, he felt the same way.

“Hey, Kagome. I’m feeling good enough to finally take a dip in the hot springs. I really need a wash.” No argument there. 

The smell of the snake’s poison dispelling itself from his body emitted a foul odor that was discernible even with mortal senses. Until now, Sesshoumaru decided that the only upside to his lack of scent was that he didn’t have to endure the putrid smell of humans in constant decay. Worst of all, his hanyou brother.

“But I’m all out of that shampoo you bought me. You think I can borrow yours?” She hid her annoyance once again.

She was _just_ in the future. He should have said something. But she decided not to scold him. In fact, she was more than a little eager to have some time alone with him. The hours she had spent with him in her hut had been mostly while he was unconscious, sleeping off his terrible wound.

“Sure! Just let me go get it.” She made to leave quickly, but his hands on her biceps stopped her in her tracks.

“That’s okay. I can just go take it from your hut if that’s alright with you. I think Sango is in there to find it for me.”

Sango was in the hut, which was a reason Kagome was not. She was still upset for her friend's interference with the Sesshoumaru debacle, and Kagome was giving the woman her space.

If she knew how badly her advice would have affected her, she would have just left it alone. Maybe she should just tell him to go for it after all.

She shook off her confusion at Inuyasha’s suggestion to make one of her own. A sly smile overcame her features, and now it was Inuyasha’s turn to look confused.

“Tell you what. I can go change really quick and I’ll join you.” His eyes widened slightly, causing her to blush at how it sounded. She elaborated, backpedaling a bit. “You are still looking pretty stiff. I bet you’d like some help washing your hair.”

When his injuries called for it, Kagome would often assist her friend in bathing. Mangled arms and hands made washing his long hair especially difficult. And though her hot spring time was typically reserved to share with Sango, she would occasionally throw on her swimsuit and join the guys as well. When the situation called for it.

But girl time had been put on hold for the time being. And she was finding herself very eager to come up with ways to get closer to the boy she had been crushing on for years. She seemed to never get the moment right.

“No, that’s okay.” Her hopeful face fell. His refusal was like a punch in the gut.

Why didn’t he seem like he wanted to spend any time with her? Wouldn’t most guys jump at the chance to be in a hot spring with a nearly naked girl? She was wishing he was more like Miroku at the moment. There was a man who would _never_ turn down an opportunity like this.

Was she really that unappealing? It seemed like no one wanted to be around her lately. She was starting to get self-conscious.

Inuyasha seemed to notice his error, and squeezed her arms reassuringly in his hands. “I’m feeling much better now, really. I was kind of hoping to just relax on my own for a bit.” His explanation did little to cure her sadness, but she did her best to appear otherwise. That tight smile returned.

“Oh. Okay,” she said softly, and not at all confidently.

She supposed she should be happy. If he was well enough to start moving around on his own, then he must be getting better. With his rapid healing abilities, the chance for embarking on their mission to find Rin soon seemed like a good one. Sesshoumaru would be pleased.

But when she chanced a look at the man watching the entire exchange from his spot under the tree, she could have sworn all she saw was disapproval in his countenance. It caused her to glitch for a moment. He was so silent and still, she had almost forgotten he was there. He was probably annoyed that they were interrupting his peaceful brooding.

But she tore her gaze from him to regard Inuyasha again, who had just released her from his grasp. “Well, how about you come find me when you are done?” she suggested, hope returning to her pleading eyes. “We can take a walk together. We haven’t had some time just you and me in forever.”

With all that had been going on lately, they had barely had a moment to themselves- when he wasn’t sleeping. She missed him. Did he feel the void of her absence, as she did with him?

“It’s probably better if I don’t push it. I think I’m just gonna relax tonight. Do you mind?”

Maybe he didn’t feel it. He sure didn’t seem at all interested in being with her right now. But perhaps she was taking it too personally.

Sesshoumaru had just gotten through berating her for taking the actions of others and making it all about her. Maybe he was just tired. He was recovering from a very nasty injury after all. She should just take people at face value, and stop being so sensitive. It wasn’t personal.

But it still didn’t make her feel any better about it.

“Whatever you think is best,” she finally relented with a sigh. She waved her hand in the direction of her hut exhaustedly. “Yeah, you can borrow my shampoo. Go ahead and take it. Sango knows where it is.”

A grateful smile was her reward. “Thanks.” And in a flash of red and silver, he was gone.

As soon as he was, she deflated a bit, and finally continued her interrupted exit.

What was she going to do now? Maybe she could try her hand at talking to Sango again.

Then again, maybe she could just take that walk on her own.

“Meet me in the clearing.”

That smooth, commanding voice halted her in her tracks. How did he do that? Demand obedience so seamlessly, and effectively.

“What?” She turned to find him standing now, brushing the dirt from his clothing. He was still looking away, but his words were aimed right at her. 

“Do you not wish to practice the kata?” He didn’t know why he did it.

Watching the exchange between she and his brother was incredibly off-putting. The boy knew how she felt about him. He was certain that was why he refused her offer for company.

He didn’t want to lead her on. But he really should have a more direct conversation with the miko. She obviously wasn’t taking the hint. It seemed a cruel thing to do to a packmate. To allow them to believe something you know not to be true.

Why was he putting this off? Couldn’t he see it was only going to get worse for them?

Maybe the hanyou liked the attention she gave him. It was possible he wanted to enjoy her infatuation to inflate his very damaged ego. It was a shameful thing for an alpha to do.

Or, perhaps, he simply was being a coward about it. He cared about the girl, that much was clear. When he finally informed her that he did not return her affections, she was going to be hurt. It was unavoidable.

Sesshoumaru considered that maybe he should do it himself. He could put an end to this poor girl’s torment right now, by informing her of their previous conversation. It would cause her some brief anguish, but in the long run, she would be better off for it.

Again, it was on the tip of his tongue. Caught in the back of his throat, with no hopes of escaping.

Not when those shining blue orbs finally brightened once again, the gratitude a welcome change from the despair they held only moments before. This time, her smile was not forced, or tight.

Maybe he would tell her later. For now, he would allow her a moment of respite.

She took a step toward him. “I’ll just come with you.”

“No,” he insisted firmly, causing her brow to crinkle. She thought he had changed his mind for a moment. But the disapproving up and down he gave her had her feeling very scandalized. “You will change into something more appropriate. I will not accept any limiting attire as an excuse for not accomplishing your stances properly. Now, make haste.”

She wanted to bite back at his rudeness, but she couldn’t find it in her. He was giving her what she wanted, and she decided not to push her luck.

Besides, he had a point. Her skirt would do her no favors when trying to learn her new moves.

She had just the thing. Her smile never faltered. “Okay. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” He nodded in agreement, and she raced back to her hut.

With an audible sigh once out of her presence, he turned, and made his way to their agreed upon destination.

He forced his mind to blank. He only hoped he could keep it that way.

* * *

The yoga pants she donned were a vast improvement. They allowed her freedom of movement, without exposing so much skin to anyone willing to look.

Though the way they plastered against her curves still left very little to the imagination.

A section of the clearing had been scraped of the snow already; a task taken on by himself previously, to kill time and offer more steady ground to practice within. It had served as his own personal mini-dojo.

He hadn’t been kept waiting long, and he wasted little time in getting started with his improvised lesson plan. The 20 minutes she had quoted him had long since passed, though he didn’t seem to mind the session running longer.

For a guy with a famous lack of tolerance in every other facet of his existence, Sesshoumaru was a remarkably patient instructor. He seemed to have an endless capacity for understanding when it came to the abilities and limitations of a novice, which was the opposite of what Kagome had been expecting.

She was prepared to endure his mockery and insults, his exhaustion at wasting his precious time and energy on one who could not very quickly grasp what he was so generously explaining to her. But instead, he endured her lack of grace and poise with amazing forbearance.

When she made a mistake; he would step in, and correct her firmly, yet gently, before retreating and insisting she attempt again. It reminded Kagome of how one might teach a child something they had never learned before, but were eager to attempt.

Somehow, she doubted that he employed these same methods when training his soldiers to battle in his armies. But perhaps this was more akin to how he may show Rin how to do something she was excited to try, but that he understood was far simpler for him to execute.

And as he demonstrated his moves; he effortlessly explained each pose, and what she should be doing to achieve them. For added benefit; he also threw in helpful metaphors here and there to aid her in understanding why and how each stance was performed, as if trying to help forge the connections in her brain which would aid her in remembering each purposeful transition.

As frustrating as it was to continually fail in her attempts; his calm, silky voice washed over her nerves and helped anchor her to her task. But his tone worked too well in commanding her attention. For, several times she found herself marveling at the way he captivated her focus, to the point of actually distracting her from the words he was saying.

“Are you listening, miko?” Caught once again, she blushed, and offered a sheepish nod. He forced a small frown, and his determination to continue inspired her own. “Again.”

They had been through the simple routine several times now. It was a basic set of steps, each punctuated with a different strike or block, combined with a purposeful turn or pose. 

Each position required a bit of multitasking, contemplating the next move while executing the current one. And though she was sure it would become second nature to a seasoned pro like him, she had to put a great deal of thought into training her muscles to move in the unfamiliar pattern.

She had gotten the first three down well enough, but she kept biffing it on the fourth. The transition involved a sudden spin, accompanied by a strike down to the side that seemed anything but natural to her untrained body, not that he didn’t make it look seamless in his various demonstrations.

After failing yet again; she let out a frustrated huff, and broke from her pose to adopt a very undisciplined stance, causing him to straighten in resignation. “This one is too hard. I’m never going to get it.”

He lifted his chin condescendingly. “I have never known you to accept defeat so easily.” She huffed again. “Even when battling This Sesshoumaru - where your success actually _was_ impossible - you would not allow yourself to concede defeat.”

She knew he was baiting her, but she simply couldn’t resist. When the Western Lord offered himself up so easily, she could do naught but pounce on the opportunity to knock him down a peg.

“Impossible, huh?” she questioned defiantly. “I seem to remember a certain dog demon leaving one of those battles with noticeably less appendages than he came in with.”

Such blatant disrespect could earn her nothing but a threatening glare. But unlike her, he refused to be riled. And the sly smirk she offered, for some reason, caused him to fight with some difficulty to keep his own at bay. “You mean to take credit for the hanyou’s hard -earned victory?”

She hid her shock at the easy admission. She didn’t think he had ever attributed Inuyasha’s successful attack against him as a win the boy had earned. It had always been a lucky shot, or a lapse in his own estimation of his brother’s strength. She had the feeling that in admitting such a thing to her, he was likely admitting it for the first time to himself. Out loud, at least.

But then again, he was trying to get results. He seemed to be coming more aware of what buttons to push to get her to respond in the way he wanted her to.

But luckily, so did she.

“Well, who pulled the sword in the first place?”

Her taunting smirk faltered as he closed the distance between them with a menacing step forward. His hardened gaze elicited a sharp intake of breath from the priestess, and it took all she had to not stumble backwards at his looming advance.

His promise not to kill her had been the only thing keeping her in place, but when he got close enough to touch; the hint of a sparkle in his eye betrayed his amusement, and renewed her confidence in her uncanny ability to survive dangerous situations. Not to mention her confidence that the old demon lord appeared to only be attempting to bring out her talents.

But the edge in his voice gave no room for argument. “Again.”

She began to obey, and he stood back to assess her. But once she took her first stance; she let herself relax again, and fixed him with a pleading look.

“Can you show me one more time?”

His eyes narrowed. “I have already demonstrated several times. Now you must emulate.”

Totally breaking form, she took a step toward him, and clasped her hands together. Her voice adopted an overly-sweet tone. “Please, just let me see it again. I just want to watch how you get into that fourth stance.”

When he seemed to consider her request, she boldly stepped even closer still. And in a stunning act of true bravery, she placed a gentle hand upon his forearm. His gaze immediately drew to the spot where they touched, though he made no move to pull away. “Let me watch the expert. I want to see perfection.”

He lifted his eyes to her again, and gave an exaggerated lift of his eyebrow at her obvious pandering. “You think to flatter me into complying?”

Her smile was wide as it was shameless. “It’s never failed before.”

His responding glare held no amusement, but regardless; he stepped away from her touch, and got himself into position.

Very pleased with herself, she stepped back to watch the captivating sight. Her smile did not waver, until he finally began. She became awestruck at his fluid, effortless motions.

Quickly, smoothly, and without error, Sesshoumaru performed the routine she had been struggling with for damn near an hour. But though she felt inadequate in comparison, she couldn’t help but consider herself privileged to behold such a sight.

She was certain that many who had witnessed Sesshoumaru making such motions had met their deaths not long after. When he hit the last mark with a customary bow, she nearly crumbled.

“So unfair. That was flawless!” He inspected himself for dirt specks as he relaxed his form. He would find none.

“I have had centuries to perfect my form as it is now. It is impossible for a novice such as you to attain such a thing so quickly. Such things take time, and dedication.”

He began to return to her side, but was stopped at her thoughtless utterance. “I just wish I could skip over all the years of grueling training, and get right to the part where I’m graceful.”

“Foolish.” The hard edge to his tone caused her to falter.

Their somewhat playful exchange was extinguished in an instant, and the narrowing of his eyes stopped her dead in her tracks. He tilted his head.

The dark, dangerous way his aura swirled around him then warned her to tread very lightly. “Do you wish to know why your race is so weak?”

She defiantly refused to divert her eyes. “I’m sure you are going to tell me.”

“You want everything handed to you,” he spat disdainfully. He seemed to be reminded in an instant why humans were so inadequate in comparison to his own kind. “You would like the world placed at your feet, yet you are unwilling to put forth the effort; commit the time, and energy, and discipline it takes to achieve such greatness.”

When he advanced on her, every muscle in her body screamed at her to back away. She wasn’t sure if it was fear or bravery which kept her feet rooted to the ground. “You think to blink your eyes, and have all of your desires come to fruition without lifting a finger to earn it.”

He stopped himself before he got too close. A sneer played at his lips. “You are so short-sighted, that you do not even realize that the things you desire are not what will offer you worth.”

Her ire at his dressing down lessened somewhat. It seemed like he was correcting her again, like he had during her routine. His desire that she improve was more apparent than his blatant distaste in her race, though it was difficult to discern from the way he was scolding.

His frame remained hard, and looming. But his violet human eyes softened in that moment. “It is not the end result that makes you strong, but the path which you take. The road to perfection is never-ending, and arduous. But it is on that path which you discover _how_ to achieve all that you will ever need, could ever want. That is where character is built.” He was still speaking at her, but he appeared to be turning inward.

He was speaking to himself, of his own experience. And though he appeared to know exactly what he was talking about, she couldn't help but feel that these particular epiphanies were quite new to him as well.

“Performing a perfect kata routine does not make you any stronger or more formidable. But pushing yourself, demanding more, desiring improvement... these things show you how to achieve everything you wish; grant you the knowledge of what you are capable.” His dilated pupils finally focused once more, as if he suddenly remembered there was another person in the vicinity. She was the lucky being who won the aim of his gaze.

“Youkai understand this. Understand the sacrifices one must make. Unlike pathetic humans, who only wish for the world on a silver platter.” The way his lip curled in disgust drew her from her stupor. Fists clenched at her sides, and she reflected the defiance in his eyes.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she insisted confidently. “I’ve fought off countless demons who were after the jewel in hopes of making all their wishes come true, just like that. Where is the sacrifice in that?”

He bared his blunt human teeth at the perceived insinuation. “I have never desired that jewel.”

“I know.” She was slightly taken aback. It was unlike Sesshoumaru to completely miss the point. To need further explanation. “You understand that there is no victory in having your desires just handed to you. You are one of the only ones.”

Maybe even _the_ only one. Every demon she had ever encountered - even friendly ones - had initially come after her with Shikon-shaped pupils in their eyes. But not him.

He never needed the jewel, never even wanted it. To him, such an acquisition would be a blow to his towering pride. Would insinuate that he needed any aid at all, beyond that which he already possessed, to become the most powerful demon alive.

Whatever he would acquire, would be gained by his own strength and fortitude. Even accepting his father’s blade was unacceptable to him now.

“But you can’t lump yourself in with the rest of your kind. Just because you have integrity, it doesn’t mean all youkai are like you.” Her easy acknowledgment of his deep-rooted ethics caused him pause.

Yes, he always knew he was far beyond other youkai in respect to his principled convictions. But he was surprised that a human would ever accept that a demon could behave as such. Let alone admit it aloud.

To most humans, demons were considered mindless, amoral beasts. And he could not disagree that often times they were correct. But those he existed beside - those he was raised by - where a cut above the rest of his species.

He often forgot that many demons out there were no more honorable than the mortals they claimed such disdain for. But in that moment, it seemed that the miko did not wear the same blinders in regards to her own race. In fact, she seemed quite aware of humanity’s many shortcomings.

He supposed that being in love with a half demon would allow for shades of grey to appear in such departments.

She adopted a ferocity then that commanded his elusive attention. Even though she meant to defy him, he could not find it in him to interrupt.

“And just because other humans aren’t willing to earn their stripes, it doesn't mean I’m like them.” With renewed resolve, she moved back into the starting position.

“Stripes?” At his lifted eyebrow, she only shook her head.

“Never mind. Let's start from the top.”

He was pleased at her determination, and he simply moved aside to let her dive right back into her routine. But when she blew the fourth stance yet again, he finally decided to step in.

With a speed quite impressive for his human body, he was behind her in an instant. By the time the ‘eep’ escaped her, his right hand had ahold of her right wrist. He bent it at the elbow, and crossed it to press her fist against her opposite shoulder.

Then, using the force of his offending arm; he pulled her back flush with his torso, and leaned to speak very clearly in her ear. “You keep trying to turn before you block. Block first.”

To demonstrate, he pulled her wrist down to lock her elbow straight at her side. She could do nothing but mindlessly allow it. He bent her arm again to repeat the motion.

“Keep your elbow still.” He reached his left arm around her body now; and placed his fingers gently inside her elbow, to remind her to keep it in place. “Only move your fist as you strike down.” He moved her again.

She was about to try it herself, but his confident hand on her left hip stopped her cold. “Then turn.”

He adjusted her hip forward, while using his own - which were pressed into her very firmly now - to guide her in turning to the side.

She was speechless; unable to form words or thoughts as the Killing Perfection cradled her body with his own, and used himself as a template to guide her through the motions. But she followed as he put them back into position, and showed her the whole move at once.

He moved her wrist down once again, and immediately followed up by moving her hip - still held in place by his hand - and using the force of his own pelvis to turn her.

“Do you see?” His voice was very low, and very soft.

The shock of his actions kept them both painfully still. And she became very aware of his heart pounding against her back, perhaps a bit faster than it should have been.

Though her own heartbeat within her chest had increased its speed as well. Was that why her knees suddenly became less stable?

She soon realized she’d had a very long moment to consider such things.

The move had been completed. Then demonstration should have been over. But instead of releasing her; he used his grasp around her wrist to cross her arm over her chest again, and hold her tightly against him.

His grip on her hip had lessened, but he still had not moved his hand. And he just... held her there.

The heat radiating from his rigid form was in stark contrast to the chilly winter air. It felt welcoming, beckoning her closer with unspoken promises to keep her snug, and secure.

She could faintly make out his heavy breathing, as his lips were still right beside her ear. But she was so distracted by the proximity - and his hands on her person - that she barely registered it.

She should move, she should step away. But all she could think was how nice he felt pressed against her like this. How nice it felt to be held by him.

It was a safe, comforting feeling, which exuded protection, and assurance.

She wondered if he felt it too. He certainly wasn’t moving. He seemed almost... reluctant? Perhaps even needy...

Many long moments had passed before she vaguely realized he had asked her a question. Maybe he was simply waiting for an answer.

She only twisted her neck; turning her head towards him, and tussling her hair in her own face even more as she did so, as several thick strands were trapped hopelessly between them.

As she turned; her hairs brushed his cheek too. He was so close, and she didn't realize until she intended to speak that her own breathing had become heavy as well.

“Yes,” she replied, more breathily than she had intended.

Nodding, he finally released her. As he slowly backed away, she only remained still.

He turned and stepped a few paces away before stopping. She didn’t realize until she turned, and cleared some locks from her face, that he appeared to be gathering himself. But she could only see his back.

She couldn’t stop the next request from forcing their way past her uncertain lips. “Do you... think you could show me again?”

She was mortified as soon as she said it. But she wouldn’t take it back.

She had been very distracted by his nearness, but she didn’t completely feel the need for another demonstration. She just wanted to feel that feeling again. To be close to someone. To feel wanted.

He was silent for a moment, seeming to think it over. But he didn’t turn as he answered.

“It is enough for today," he told her. His voice had returned to normal. "This One has some clothing he must wash.”

The proximity had given him a painful reminder of the chore he had earned himself earlier that morning.

“Oh,” she remembered, breaking from her daze. “If it’s about your shirt, I managed to finally get the blood out. It’s drying on the clothesline. It should be ready by tomorrow.”

When he began removing his inner haori, she froze still again. He peeled it off his body quickly, exposing pale skin and perfect muscle to her starving gaze.

He finally turned slowly, and looked her in the eye. “This needs washing. As well as a few other things.”

He supposed he didn’t need to make such a show of it, but he had no desire to explain why he suddenly needed to wash his clothes. Seeing as he had little to his name, he wanted to show her a believable diversion from his true intent.

“You could have given them to me earlier,” she scolded, earning a slight shrug. “Would you like me to help you?”

"No," he responded quietly. "You have done enough.”

Now that he was facing her, his bandaged shoulder stole her attention. She had helped him clean and cover it in the cave, but ever since then; she had been too busy to follow up with him. She supposed it was time for a checkup.

“Oh, your shoulder.” He looked to it as she approached him. “Let me have a look.”

He allowed her approach. Once to him, she peeled back the bloodied bandage. “Have you been taking care of it like I told you?”

Her fingers on his skin caused his heart to speed its pace once more. He was forced yet again to do his best to purge the memory of his dream from his thoughts.

“I have kept it clean, and wrapped, as you suggested.”

Upon inspection, she accepted his words as truth. It was no longer gaping, though it had to be painful for him.

She hated the thought of him hurting all this time. And what’s more, she hated the thought that she had been ignoring his plight, simply because he chose to appear unaffected.

“It is so much better,” she marveled, testing her fingers against the wound. Her tender touch sent a course of fuzzy pleasure through his chest, which he pointedly ignored. “We really dodged a bullet with that one.” She removed the bandage completely, and he simply allowed it.

She was the expert here. It was her hut in which the injured sat to recover. As strange as it felt, he would allow her to nurse his wound. It is what pack was for, he supposed. Though he still didn’t feel as if he needed such attentions, he conceded that he would do well to follow this human’s lead in regards to properly caring for a human’s body.

“We can take this off for now. It seems to have closed up, and it needs to breath a bit. Just be careful. And if it opens up again, let me know, and I’ll rewrap it for you.”

He nodded silently as she raked her gaze over his form. She appeared to be assessing his various other - less severe - injuries. She did a poor job in ignoring how the shape of his body pleased her senses in a way she couldn’t explain, or understand.

“All the others are looking a lot better too,” she informed him, still appreciating him secretly under the guise of tallying injuries. “Just go easy on yourself.”

Assessment complete, he prepared to leave for his chore. “May This One use your washboard?”

She was looking right at his abs when he said it, causing her mind to make obvious comparisons.

‘Looks like you have one. Kami, I could have been washing clothes on that stomach all this time...’

“Miko?”

With a blush, she shook herself. “Oh, of course. It's in my hut. Sango should be in there. Just ask her to give it to you.”

He wasn’t particularly interested in conversing with the slayer, but he certainly wasn’t shy about it. He was more surprised that she hadn’t offered to go fetch it for him herself. Not that he necessarily needed her to.

“Do you not intend to return?” She shook her head, and stepped away from him.

“I think I’m gonna stay and practice a little longer.”

He looked her up and down, and cocked an accusing eyebrow. “Do not expect to achieve perfection overnight.”

She smiled. “I know. I’m just going to enjoy the path for a bit longer.”

She thought she saw approval in his eyes, before he brushed past her to leave. But after a few steps, he stopped himself, and turned again.

“Have you anything that needs washing? Something you forgot, perhaps?” She was confused by his question.

She wracked her brain, trying to think of what she could have possibly forgotten, that he had noticed.

Coming up blank, she shrugged in resignation. “I give up. What?”

Her question earned a confused glance of her own, paired with the dubious narrowing of his eyes.

“I do not know. That is why I asked.”

Shock overcame her as realization slowly dawned. Then, she felt awful.

He was only asking. No, he was _offering._

It was so out of character, that she never even considered that he would try to do anything nice, or helpful at all.

To be fair, she couldn’t think of any other time that he had.

“Uh, no,” she stammered out. “But thank you.”

Nodding once, he turned again to leave.

“But you can ask the others, they might have something,” she suggested as an afterthought; speaking to his retreating, muscular back. But he did not pause his steps.

He hadn’t even considered it, and he realized he still would not.

But he couldn’t help by wonder why his offer only extended to her.

* * *

That was a close one.

But really, it had been his fault.

He wasn’t quite sure what possessed him to hold her so close for so long. But once he had her in his grasp, he had the overwhelming urge to revel in the proximity.

Do all human’s desire such nearness from one another?

He was aware that Rin had. He felt guilty in that moment for all the times he had been forced to refuse her attempts at prolonging touch. He had no idea the call was so strong.

But he had never felt it before. It certainly wasn’t a need that youkai possessed. 

But once she was close, he had only intended to keep her there for a second longer. And when the appropriate time came to release her from him, his body simply would not obey.

But it did obey another order, and he was much more thankful for that particular act of submission.

He had been forced to discard his fundoshi back at the hut. Soiled as it was from his dream, it was in no condition to be worn. So the only thing separating him from the miko had been the thin layer of his hakama.

The feel of the cool silk pressed against him was an instant reminder of the chore he must see to as quickly as possible.

When pressed against his manhood so tightly by the tiny woman, it took every fiber of his being to prevent him from reacting in a way which she would notice. He was surprised he was able to contain himself. With how his body has been behaving as of late, he was grateful that the traitorous appendage finally chose that moment to listen to his pleas to remain dormant. For a moment at least.

As soon as he released her, and turned away, he relaxed enough to let himself stiffen momentarily. Not to full mast, as he was worried he would not be able to get it down before she noticed, but enough to allow his body some of the freedom it desired.

He would have to remember not do indulge in such a thing again. But thinking back to that morning, he wondered if it was not time for him to finally do something about his unsated lust.

Both his brother and the monk had suggested he take measures to alleviate himself of his burning desires. They suggested he find a woman outside of the village to see to his needs. But he wondered why he would do such a thing when he had a willing woman right here?

The miko had advised against laying with the slayer. But really, what harm would it do?

She feared it may cause some unrest within the small group. But Sango’s reaction to his refusal seemed to be causing a rift as it was. Not so much with him, but between the women for some reason.

And then there was the matter of Inuyasha’s desire. He wanted the taijiya for himself, but he was too cowardly to make his move. Sesshoumaru harbored no such fears. And how sweet it would be to take her right out from under him.

He could use her, and discard her, and be able to hold his victory over him for the rest of their lives. Now that his vow prevented him from claiming the life he had pledged to take, he would need to be more creative in giving the hanyou his due.

He may even be doing the boy a favor. It might temper his desire for the girl once his hated brother has had her.

So then, it was settled. And not a moment too soon. 

Reminder of the miko pressed against him was awakening his desire anew. Luckily, Sango was said to be in the hut he was traveling to.

Perhaps a quick rut, then he could head for the stream to wash his soiled clothes. Hopefully, for the last time.

When he knocked, he received no answer. “Taijiya?”

He pulled the door back, and called her by title again.

Only to find it empty.

She must have gone off to practice with her weapon again. She had been doing that a lot lately.

‘Her loss,’ he thought with a shrug. He supposed it could wait until later. But that wasn’t going to prevent him from grabbing the washboard he had come for.

After a moment of looking around, he found it resting on the floor, propped against the wall. He reached to grab it, only to take notice of the ugly yellow monstrosity the miko always took with her during her trips through the well sitting right beside it.

He was very curious of the thing. It always held so many strange, and unknown items of which he was unaware. Things from a time where he had never been. ‘Yet.’

Without hesitation, he pulled open the zipper, and reached inside. It was mostly empty. She had unpacked most of her things upon her return. Mostly items for himself, and food and supplies for the rest of them. But she had elected to leave a couple of items in the bag, and he wondered why.

The first thing he pulled out was a box. There was a weight to it, and he noted the strange object portrayed on the top. He had been able to make out a few words on the cover.

‘Massager? Strange.’

He removed the lid and took the pink wand-like item to hold in his steady grasp. After inspecting it a moment, he was able to discern how it worked. With a twist of the base, it started vibrating violently in his grasp.

His shoulder had been killing him ever since that day he chopped all that wood. It was the miko’s fault he’d had to perform such a task, so he felt well within his rights to make use of her futuristic massager.

Using one hand, he held the wand over his back and dug the tip very harshly into his aching shoulder blade. After experiencing the buzzing sensation for several seconds, he decided that the item did a rather poor job at alleviating his pain.

What a pity. He had hoped that with 500 years, the humans would have been able to make great strides in various technologies. So far, he was unimpressed. He turned the item back off, and replaced it in the box, taking to care to be sure it appeared undisturbed.

Placing it back in the bag, he took out the second item.

This was a much lighter box. But this one would not be able to be opened by him without destroying the packaging beyond repair. He shook it, before reading the side. This box offered much more explanation, and he was taken aback at the insinuation.

‘Prevents disease and pregnancy? How, I wonder?’ After reading further, he was enlightened.

As a demon, he had no need for such a thing. His sharp nose could discern a demoness’s fertility, as well as hygiene. He had never even considered that a human would have no way of knowing what may befall them while engaging in such acts.

But, he had also always thought that a female would desire to become with child as soon as she was privy to sexual acts. It was very interesting to him that the miko in particular would be planning to have sex simply for pleasure.

He had always considered her very virginal, which was strange for a woman her age. But Inuyasha had said she was still intact. And with how the boy told him of his feelings, he now knew why.

He almost felt sorry for the poor girl. Did she think that the hanyou would use these items with her? He wondered briefly if he should offer to engage, but the thought was quickly snuffed out. He was certain that the woman found him as unsuitable as he found her. Certainly as distasteful.

No. Whatever reactions their bodies were having to one another were not to be acted upon. It was only the result of these weak human’s biology. They could hardly stand each other, let alone truly wish to become so familiar.

Putting the box back, and zipping up her bag; he grabbed the washboard and exited the hut.

After the short trip to his own hut to reclaim his discarded clothing, he made his way to the stream to begin his shameful chore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fought me. But your reviews provided the encouragement I needed to get it finished. So, thank you!! 
> 
> Also, I don’t know if Sesshoumaru would be able to read modern japanese, but lets just say that demons have that ability XD


	13. Expelled

Though they still took their meals together as decreed, the gathering around the campfire seemed to becoming noticeably sprawled out lately.

Sesshoumaru always elected to eat alone. He seemed resigned to the fact that he now required human nourishment to heal his broken body and retain some much-needed energy.

He would assume a place around the fire that - though very detached - still managed to illuminate his passive features, while allowing him a measure of warmth from the residual heat the makeshift stove provided.

But he was no longer the only one who seemed to desire solitude from the rest of the pack.

Now that Inuyasha appeared well enough to join them, Sango had begun assuming the spot by his side that was once reserved for this evening’s chef - Kagome.

It seemed that every other member of the group had earned a reason for the slayer’s scorn recently. So she now preferred to take her meals with him - if only by default.

On another corner of the campfire, Kagome and Miroku took amiable pleasure in each other’s company. Both very social and friendly by nature; their comradery was effortless, as they easily ignored the obvious new tension within the group, and allowed much needed space to their packmates who seemed to now require it.

As they finished dinner loosely gathered around the flames, Sesshoumaru was beginning to reconsider his plan.

In the hours since his training session with the miko, his excited form had calmed down considerably. And without the persistent reminder of why he felt the need to lower himself to allowing a human to defile him, he was finding it easier to talk himself out of it.

He spooned the last of Kagome’s stew into his mouth distractedly, when his brother’s voice from across the fire drew him from his musings.

“Hey Sesshoumaru...” His eyes slid across the camp to take in the softened features of his only sibling. “Is your face hurting you?”

Inuyasha’s concern was uncharacteristic. And as such, his tender tone earned the complete silence of the rest of the camp, and a suspicious glare from the one it was aimed at.

When a smile played upon the half demon’s lips, Sesshoumaru’s scowl only increased.

“Cuz it’s killing me!”

Kagome rolled her eyes at her friend’s immature antics, but the other two nervously averted their attention back to their food.

The laughter that followed came only from the hanyou, who was apparently quite amused at his own joke. Sesshoumaru made up his mind on the matter right there.

Inuyasha was about to see what his brother thought was funny.

The cruel, diabolical smile which spread across Sesshoumaru’s battered face was enough to wipe the smirk off his half-brother’s.

When Sesshoumaru smiled, it was never good. What did the bastard have in store?

He placed his bowl down at his side, and rose silently. Everyone watched him without comment as he left for his hut.

“Can you not antagonize him, please?” Kagome asked, slightly peeved. “It’s probably not a good idea.”

“Yeah? What's he gonna do about it?” Inuyasha replied with a smirk. His eyes flicked in the direction his brother had departed off into. “I'd love it if he tried to start somethin’ with me now.”

“I'd say he's been behaving himself pretty well…” Her eyes also cut to where the man had exited off to. “Well, for him at least. Besides, you never know when he might change back to himself.”

At least, she hoped he would. She didn’t know if she could live with the guilt if he ended up being human forever.

What if they couldn’t find a way in time? By the time they discovered how to change him back, he could be an old man by then. At least the silver in his hair would return.

Worse yet, he could be dead. If not by a million things that can kill a human, simply from old age.

She decided she would have to start dedicating more time to trying to find a cure for his current predicament. And the sooner, the better.

When he returned a moment later, he was holding the towel Kagome had given him, along with the bag of his various soaps for bathing.

Kagome had been doing an excellent job ignoring the dirty looks Sango had been throwing her throughout the meal. Apparently she still hadn’t been forgiven for foiling her plans to get some private time with Sesshoumaru. But she chose to remain confident that with time, the woman’s anger at her would pass.

They were practically family after all. Surely, the demon slayer would soon realize how ridiculous she was being.

She was so caught up in her mean-mugging that she hardly registered Sesshoumaru approaching very closely on her left. His silky voice drew her from her violent fantasies.

“Sango.” Her name poured from his lips like liquid velvet, and left a tingling sensation as it ran down her spine. He had her full attention.

“I require a trip to the hot spring. Would you care to accompany This One?”

Still hurt by his previous refusal, she barely offered him a glance before quickly returning her sour gaze to the ground beneath her.

“What for?” she muttered, stirring the last of the stew around in her bowl.

He was undeterred by her icy treatment, and he paused only a moment before answering calmly and assuredly.

Leaning a bit closer, he lowered his voice only slightly.

“To _train_.” He allowed just enough inflection to clarify his intentions. But it still took a couple long seconds for his words to register in her brain.

He earned himself a shocked gaze, as her eyes widened and mouth hung open in a less than dignified manner.

The sparkle in his violet pools and the smirk playing at the corner of his mouth told her that he didn’t mind it. Truth be told, he was actually expecting a reaction like that.

Inuyasha was startled by his brother’s audacious suggestion. But his surprise increased tenfold at Sango’s excited response.

“Yes!” She placed her bowl down in an instant, no longer interested in the remainder of her meal. When she stood to meet him, he retreated a step to allow her eager movement. The huge smile on her face was a complete 180 to the expression she had been wearing all night.

“Right now?” Sesshoumaru was about to reply, but Miroku inserted himself hopefully.

“I could use a wash myself,” he announced, not at all liking where this was going.

Sango cut him a warning glare. “Three’s a crowd, monk.” She returned her mooning awe to the taller male beside her. “Right Sesshoumaru?”

Still calm as ever, his eyes never left hers as he responded. “Indeed. I only wish for the slayer to join me.”

They shared a knowing look, and she could barely contain her excitement as she took a few steps away.

“Just let me get my stuff. I will meet you there!” she assured him.

With a nod, Sesshoumaru straightened, and moved to depart ahead of her for the springs. But not before shooting his brother a taunting smirk, which was only met with a pained incredulity.

Inuyasha had no idea what was going on, but before he could force his mouth to make the proper words, Sango was already rushing off to her hut.

Looking for answers from his friends, Inuyasha turned to Miroku first, to find the monk trying his best not to look somber. The disturbance he felt was not well concealed, as he now decided his own bowl of stew had become very interesting.

Finding no help there; Inuyasha turned his focus on Kagome, who was also stirring at her food. However, she wore a look more akin to mild annoyance.

He was about to begin demanding answers, but Sango was back with her towel, purposely making her way through the camp to follow the trail his brother had made.

“So you’re really going through with this?” Kagome asked, as the woman brushed by her quickly.

She had learned her lesson about meddling in her affairs, but she thought she would give the woman a chance to reconsider before taking off with him.

“I am,” she declared with certainty, a victorious grin playing at her own lips now.

Inuyasha stood, and questioned her softly. “Sango, you’re really going to go with him?”

He had not been made aware of the woman’s previous plans. But with the way things were rapidly progressing, he was able to put together what the couple apparently intended.

She was looking distractedly off in the direction Sesshoumaru had disappeared to, still moving after him, but slowing a moment to answer her alpha.

“I know you two don’t get along, but I really need this right now.” She threw a longing look over her shoulder. “And your brother is really attractive.”

It was like a punch in the stomach, and he didn’t know what to say. This couldn’t be happening. He had no idea Sango felt that way about Sesshoumaru.

Apparently, that was all the explaining she was willing to do, and she turned to jog off to the hot spring.

Desperate to put a stop to this insanity, he turned back to the monk who had just finished his meal. “Miroku, aren’t you going to do anything?” he tried desperately. “You need to stop her.”

“I am afraid that our arrangement goes both ways,” he informed him with a sigh. “Sango allows me my many indiscretions. It would not be fair for me to stand in her way.”

It took all the hanyou had not to sputter. “But, doesn’t it bother you?”

“I can’t say that I am happy about it,” he honestly replied. “But they are two grown adults. If this is what they want, it would be hypocritical to insist they refrain.”

Miroku stood then, and walked to Inuyasha. Handing him his empty bowl - as the hanyou was on dish duty tonight - he forced a tight smile.

“I believe I will go into the village tonight. It seems like a good evening for me to make myself scarce. Excuse me.” He made his exit quickly, as if he couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

Kagome remained seated, in no rush herself to finish her stew.

“Kagome, did you know about this?”

“I told her not to do it,” she informed him with a defeated shrug. “But she’s a big girl. She got so mad when I stood in her way last time. Maybe she will lighten up after this.”

Last time? How long had this been going on? He was alpha of this pack. He should have been made aware of this recent development. Or, at least, he should have been able to pick up on it.

But his recent injury had left him somewhat isolated from the others for the past couple of days.

‘I’m gone five fucking minutes, and everyone loses their damn minds!’

He was enraged. Enraged at his brother for taking what he wanted... again. Enraged at his friends for letting this all happen. And enraged at Sango for going. How could she?

He was feeling increasingly impotent as he watched Kagome ignore him, and continue on with her meal as if Sango wasn’t about to go bang his brother.

He wanted to go stop them. To tell them of his displeasure. He tried to think of a way he could pull rank and return some semblance of order to a pack that had suddenly delved into chaos. But it didn’t appear that there was anything he could do.

He wanted to go kill something, but he hadn’t the strength yet. If he got injured again, it would be bad for everyone. So he did the next best thing.

Frustrated with the whole situation, he jumped up into a nearby tree to pout.

* * *

Sango came upon the hot spring to find Sesshoumaru already disrobed, and sitting inside with his head resting back against the edge.

His eyes were closed, and he looked very relaxed. More relaxed than she had ever seen him, and definitely more at peace than he had appeared ever since joining forces with their ragtag little group.

She couldn’t help but be awed by his beauty as she took in the delicious sight of his naked form. Or what she could see of it from the waist up. The perfect, rippling muscles were even more tantalizing up close than they had been when she watched him chopping wood off in the distance. The sheen of his sweat had been nothing compared to the enticing manner the moisture from the springs caused his chest and abs to glisten.

She couldn’t decide if the nerves she felt were due to his overwhelming presence, their dangerous history, or the anticipation boiling in her veins.

She conceded that she had spent more time brooding over his rejection - and the events that led up to it - than she had actually spent pining over the handsome brother of her alpha. Not that she didn’t want him.

Oh, she wanted this. But she was feeling much like the dog who caught the... ox cart.

So much energy had been spent mulling over how to obtain him. And now that she had, she almost wasn’t quite sure what to do with him. Almost.

She was a grown woman. Even before Miroku, she had not been without experience in regards to entertaining a male. The life of a warrior was less sheltered than most. Even in this time.

When death was constantly lurking around the corner, those in its crosshairs were more prone to spending their rare free moments taking advantage of life’s pleasures, and enjoying them while they lasted.

You never knew which battle would be your last. This was likely something Sesshoumaru knew as well.

Though, to be fair, his likelihood of meeting his end was far less than her or any of the warriors she had grown up with and fought alongside.

But whatever she had been denied from males in her slayer village, were more than made up for in the attentions of her amorous lover. Now former lover, most likely.

Miroku was a very experienced man. More so than any other she had come across. And with death constantly stalking him as well, he wasted no time in making each of his desires come to fruition. And as often as possible.

Nothing she hadn’t agreed to, and to be honest, thoroughly enjoyed. But by now, she doubted that there was any aspect of sex she was no longer privy to.

Well, except one.

She had never been with a demon.

As a sworn enemy and raised killer of such beasts, the idea of laying with one was considered sacrilege. She conceded that the only profession more opposed to such a union would be that of a miko.

But Sesshoumaru wasn’t a demon anymore.

Inuyasha had been the first with demon blood who she had even close to called a friend and ally. Save for Kirara, who was really more like a pet.

And though she had been raised with certain prejudices against her sworn enemy, she had come to realize that such traits did not belong to all in his race.

Inuyasha was a good man. One she was proud to call her alpha. And Shippo was like a brother to her. She no longer felt the same disgust toward youkai that she had been raised to feel. If her family could see her now, they would probably be rolling over in their graves.

At one point, the fact that Sesshoumaru had ever been a demon would have rendered him entirely unviable. But she had changed. And so had he.

There was nothing unappealing about the gorgeous male that sat in the hot spring, waiting silently and patiently for her arrival.

He cracked an eyelid. “Are you afraid?”

His question seemed to shake her from her musings - and ogling. 

He watched silently as she began removing her own clothing. A blush stained her cheeks as she stripped. She smiled, and shook her head. But it wasn’t entirely the truth.

Even though Sesshoumaru held a human form, he had spent centuries living, fighting, and fucking like a demon. She had no idea what to expect from him. But the unknown inspired more arousal than fear. You don’t get to be a successful huntress without a certain attraction to dangerous things.

When he arched a brow, she stepped closer to the edge. “Should I be?”

He admired her generous breasts as she made her way to him. But his attention was quickly drawn to the thick mass of curls at the juncture of her hips.

From his seat, her pussy was right at eye level, and he marveled at how there appeared to be no difference between the species in regards to appearance. His time in the cave with the miko had been more felt than seen, so this was really his first good look at an unclothed onna.

Though he didn’t know what he was expecting. If Inuyasha was successfully created, there could not be that much variance.

But still, he had been anticipating something to tell a naked human woman apart from a demoness. The fact that there wasn’t only added to the argument that perhaps their races weren’t so different after all. The thought was unsettling.

But he was willing to consider it a good thing. He was happy not to have to encounter anything unseemly while traversing into this new territory. Quite the opposite, in fact.

His gaze lingered on her as she began to enter the spring. She briefly sat on the edge across from him, and lowered herself in the heated pool.

“As a practice, it would be wise.” He continued appraising her assets as she joined him in the water. “However, I do not intend you any harm tonight.”

She waded closer, while he remained seated. He did not appear affected by her nudity or her presence. But he did not appear offended either.

“Maybe not. But I am sure you are more than capable of doing some damage,” she responded coyly as she took another purposeful step forward. “Are you going to be rough with me?” She was close enough to touch him now, and she did.

Her hand rose to his arm, and she enjoyed the firm muscle as he allowed her to peruse him. She braced herself on his shoulders as she boldly straddled him on the submerged ledge, and he put his hands on her hips to steady her against him.

“I do not know what this human body is capable of,” he admitted. Her tits were right in his face, and he drug his eyes from them for a moment to take in her flushed expression. “Though a good deal of soreness is expected. I will attempt to be gentle.”

When he shifted beneath her, she pressed herself against him. Drawing her face very near, she stopped only an inch from his temping mouth.

“I won't.” Her mouth was already opened as she crashed her lips onto his. He accepted her advance by matching the ferocity of her kiss. As his tongue welcomed hers, his hands flew to her back to pull her closely against himself.

The feel of a soft woman against his needy cock was a great relief. This is what he had been badly requiring, and he was more than happy to finally be able to answer his body’s call for attention.

The time he had spent with Kagome in the cave was the only experience his human form has had, and sexual gratification was certainly not the goal there. The reminder caused him to stiffen painfully, but he pushed those thoughts away to focus on the present - and willing - woman who plastered herself into his lap.

She ground into him as she kissed him deeply. And while one hand found purchase on the back of her head, in order to assert some measure of dominance and keep her affixed to his greedy mouth, his other traveled beneath the water to grip tightly at her hip while he thrusted himself upward.

She gasped in shock as she felt his throbbing erection digging harshly into her thigh.

He was right about making her sore. Miroku was on the high end of average in size. She’d had men who were larger, but not noticeably so.

Inuyasha’s brother would put all of her previous conquests to shame. She knew in her training and battles that demons fared much larger than human men in this particular department. But even as a human, Sesshoumaru appeared to be more than equipped to thoroughly ravage a woman of any race.

A smirk graced his features as he noticed her reaction to him, and he gave a smug grind up into her as he pulled her firmly against his arousal.

“I apologize. We must make do with my mortal deficiencies at the moment.”

That arrogant jerk. He knew he could upstage any man in his current form. But he couldn’t help but insinuate that as a youkai, he was much larger even still.

But she was not lacking either. This woman’s chest was impressive for a human. He had been with alluring demonesses who did not possess breasts as large and as lovely as the ones pressing against his throat at the moment.

He could not pass up the opportunity to drag his hand from her hip and give one a rough, demanding squeeze.

Her joyous smirk at his comment turned into a pleasurable moan. She tilted her head back and bared her throat to him. Her years of youkai training may have informed her of what such an action would mean to a demon. But then again, it may have simply been instinct. Sesshoumaru had a way of reducing those around him into crippling submission.

He leaned his face forward, and began licking and nipping at her bared throat; creating a sizzling trail of pleasure with his mouth as he made his way down to her clavicle. She leaned into his touch, grinding into his cock as he rocked himself upward. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders to pull him nearer as he began his pleasurable assault on her body.

“Mmmm. Oh, Sesshoumaru...” she groaned lowly, and aimed at the treetops. She didn’t exactly want the others to hear, but they weren’t at the forefront of her mind at the moment. This is what she had been waiting for, and she was going to enjoy herself.

As soon as the words left her lips, however, he froze in place.

He had heard several females moan his name in such a fashion over the years. But for some reason, the way this human called him threw him back in time, to a day many, many years ago. About a century, to be exact.

Kara, Inuyasha’s first partner, had been one of the many to utter his name in such a pleading manner. One which begged for his continued attentions. It had been in a hot spring as well, when he took the girl that had first been his brother’s.

She was leaving the premises of the fortress. The one he had allowed Inuyasha to reside in after his mother’s death. Their father was of course long gone, and The Western Lands, and all that dwelled within it was under Sesshoumaru’s protection. The fortress he had grown up in, that once belonged to his father, was now his. And for a time, Sesshoumaru had allowed his brother to take up residence in his childhood home.

Sesshoumaru had been outside the walls. Still on his territory, the hot spring was away from the bulk of his property. He had elected to dip in for a soak. After a long day of patrols, the last thing he wanted was to endure the pathetic sounds of a demoness faking orgasm for the benefit of his inexperienced half-brother.

On her way home from the visit, she happened upon the dog demon. Though, now that he thought about it, she would have surely sensed him there. He made no attempts to mask his presence within his own home.

She had stripped, and joined him in the spring. And he had not discouraged her.

He had granted Inuyasha sanctuary out of duty and familial obligation. But he made no secret of his disdain for the boy. His father’s indiscretion was a stain on his house, and the hanyou was a constant reminder of that.

It was probably more spite for his brother than pity for the girl, that when she straddled his cock as he sat on the submerged ledge, he responded by entering her and finally giving her the release she had long been denied.

He felt no regret at the time. Nor, at the pain it had caused the half demon afterward when made aware of the incident. In fact, he had never felt the least bit bad about what he had done.

So why now, with this human woman offering herself to him in a similar fashion, was he struck with a certain hesitance? His cock inexplicably softened at the memory.

Looking down at him questioningly at his sudden delay, she said his name again, bereft this time of the passion her tone had held just a moment before. “Sesshoumaru?”

The address snapped him from his daze, and he looked up at her confoundedly, loathing the doubt in her eyes. “Are you okay?”

Growling at the insinuation - or as close to a growl as he could muster - he flipped their positions. And with an excited shriek, she allowed him to bend her over the side of the hot spring, and place his weight at her backside.

But as he took his soft cock into his hand, and tried to stimulate himself as best as he could, all he could see was Kara. Bent over the edge of the pool, wiggling her ass enticingly.

He kept stroking himself. Trying through sheer will and physical stimulation to make his cock hard again so that he could enter the wanting woman. But after a moment of pressing himself to her core, trying to shove his limp dick into her folds, she threw her head over her shoulder to see what the hold up was. She was becoming impatient.

“What are you waiting for?”

He wanted this. He wanted to fuck this woman. To expel his desire, and rid him of the complications of unsated lust.

He wanted to put an end to his wet dreams, and his spontaneous hard-ons.

He wanted to show his brother once again who the alpha truly was. Which of his father’s sons was most impressive and worthy, despite being a pathetic human at the moment.

But all he could see was the demon he had taken from his brother back then. The one who had wanted him more.

And he saw this new human. The one that Inuyasha now desired more than any alive; one he had yet to sample, but felt such strong feelings for that he was willing to jeopardize the reincarnation of his former love to pine over.

One he would not pursue, because of duty. Because pack came first.

Resigned, he retreated from her presentation, and sat silently back on the ledge beside her.

She was confused by his sudden retreat. “What’s the matter? I thought you wanted to-”

“So did I.” He closed his eyes, unable to look her in the face, as he rested his head back against the ledge.

Incredibly frustrated, Sango became annoyed. “Can’t get it up?”

At her accusations, he calmly turned the blame on her.

“I cannot perform adequately without proper enticement. It appears that you are not sufficient.”

The sudden change of tone was jarring. He had switched from burning hot to ice cold again in no time flat.

She sputtered, and straightened.

She wanted to scream. Wanted to put him in his place for his rudeness and cruelty. But humiliation prevented her from expressing herself accurately. All she could do was flee.

She scrambled to get out of the water, to put as much distance between them as quickly as possible; while he simply sat there, closing his eyes and leaning his head back to enjoy the heat of the spring.

Totally nonchalant. As if they hadn’t been all over each other just a minute ago.

He should be upset. Frustrated with his body for refusing to react the one time he needed it to. But for some strange reason, all he felt was relief. He didn’t have to go through with it.

He thought he was doing what he needed to do. And any trepidation he felt in the matter was only considered weakness, as far as he was concerned. But with his body resisting the advances of the human woman, he recognized the easy out.

She began drying herself off quickly, and reached for her discarded clothes. As she began to redress; he cracked an eyelid, becoming introspective as he watched her boredly.

He had been eager to take his human cock out for a test drive, but more than that; he wanted to hurt Inuyasha. This would kill his brother, and the thought had brought him pleasure.

But apparently, not physically.

He contemplated the woman as he watched her dress with haste, and he couldn’t prevent the question in his mind from escaping.

“Tell me. Is revenge against the monk your goal? Or are you simply seeking physical pleasure?”

Her back was to him as she put on her clothes. She was unwilling to look at the infuriating lord. And though she felt no obligation to converse with him, she also felt no apprehension.

“If all I wanted was sex, I could have just slept with Miroku. He’s not exactly stingy with his affections,” she vented, slipping the last garment over her shoulders and tying it tight. Very tight.

She was more than a little annoyed. She had just made a show of leaving with Sesshoumaru to the rest of the camp. Now, she would have to suffer the consequences of declaring herself, with none of the benefits of engaging in the act.

“So a retaliatory rut it all you are after?” he pried further. “You are not interested in forging deeper bonds?”

He spoke so conversationally, as if nothing had just happened between them. He took his long hair in his hands, and began working through the tangles with his fingers.

When she finally turned to watch him, she startled slightly at his nonchalance. With the rifts in the group lately, she had no one really to confide in- accept Inuyasha. And he had been down for the count lately.

Despite Sesshoumaru’s rejection, she was receptive to the outlet he provided. He was giving her an opportunity to vent. And, whether genuine or not, he appeared somewhat interested. She was willing to take advantage of his curiosity.

“Of course I want more. What woman doesn’t?” she confided, eyeing him suspiciously. Despite his projected distraction in caring for his hair, he seemed to have an open ear for her.

“Decent men just aren't so easy to come by.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, which he did not look her way to observe. Though he knew he was included in her assessment, he did not appear affected by it.

He reached for his soaps, and began making use of the spring by granting himself a much-needed washing. If only he could wash the stench of human from him completely. “Perhaps you should proposition my brother.”

Where did that come from? Her curiosity had her venturing a step closer.

“Inuyasha? Why would I do that?”

“He desires you.”

He dipped beneath the surface to wash the lather from his hair. In the long moment it took him to emerge, a thousand questions raced through Sango’s mind.

“What? But he has Kagome.”

Pleased to be thoroughly rinsed, he raked his fingers through his dark strands to straighten them as best he could. He had really taken his youki for granted, in how it allowed him to keep so effortlessly pristine. How did humans have time for anything else, with how long it took them to appear even the least bit presentable?

“He has no interest in the miko,” he informed her, finally deigning to make eye contact. When he did, he was greeted with a shocked expression. “He told This One as much. It is you he wants.”

Nearly floored by the news, she didn’t know how to respond to that. She knew Inuyasha cared about her. But he cared about all of them. They were pack. And though she had definitely counted her alpha as attractive, and a man she admired, he was Kagome’s. It had never even occurred to her that he was up for grabs.

Everyone knew how Kagome felt about the hanyou. And though it seemed strange that it was taking so long for things to progress between them, everyone pretty much expected that the couple would eventually end up together.

But there was only one acceptable answer she could give. “I could never do that to her.”

She looked down, and in doing so, missed the raised eyebrow Sesshoumaru shot her way. “Did she not upset you by meddling in your plans?”

Yes. And she had been pissed. Probably more that she should have been at the miko who was her best friend.

And now with Sesshoumaru turning out to be every bit the ass Kagome had warned her about, it appeared that she owed the young girl an apology. Damn.

“Yes, she did,” she answered solemnly. “But she is still my friend. And friends don’t do that to each other.”’

And she supposed, she could begin making things right with her by not approaching the man the miko was in love with. The silent treatment was one thing. But it was quite another to steal the guy she loved right out from under her.

But then again, if Inuyasha had wanted Kagome, he would have acted on it by now. Wouldn’t he? She couldn’t deny she was interested in pursuing this new development.

Would it be fair to them both, to deny their mutual attraction?

Would it be right to indulge, knowing Kagome’s feelings for him?

Either way, someone would get hurt in all this. What was the right thing to do?

What a mess.

Sesshoumaru considered her statement briefly.

Inuyasha had said something similar in regards to removing Sango from the monk. Humans sure had strange priorities when it came to their loyalties.

“Do as you wish,” Sesshoumaru shrugged, lathering up is taut muscles with the soap he had been provided. He was rather enjoying the feeling finally being clean once again. It was no wonder the miko was so prone to her baths. “It would seem that my brother is too cowardly to inform you himself. However, if you desire him in return, it is left to you to initiate.”

And that was all he would say on the matter. It was of no consequence to him what this incestual little group did with themselves. He was merely an observer, and kindly offering his outsider opinion on the issue. He wasn’t sure why he bothered. He certainly didn’t care.

But as she began to leave, head swimming with this new information, he gave one last demand.

“Whatever you decide, do not inform my brother of this conversation. He would not be pleased to learn of my interference.”

Considering his request, she nodded once, though she wasn’t certain why Sesshoumaru wanted the secrecy.

And truth be told, neither was he.

* * *

When Sango emerged from the forest, she found that Miroku was gone. She was relieved at that.

It was clear that the two would be having a pivotal conversation the next time they were alone. But she was hoping for a little time to gather her frazzled thoughts before they had this talk.

Kagome was the only one who remained. She had finished her meal, but was still huddled by the fire to enjoy the last of the heat before it petered out.

“That was quick,” she quipped, not making eye contact as she rubbed her hands together. “Was it worth it? Was it everything you were hoping for?”

Sango didn’t appreciate the mockery. But Sesshoumaru’s words were at the front of her mind.

What was she going to do? It appeared that Miroku was not the only one that was owed a conversation. Kagome and she needed to hash out a few things as well.

But she figured she better talk with Inuyasha first. She had to find out if Sesshoumaru was speaking the truth. And find out what Inuyasha wanted to do about them, before involving the others.

Ignoring her friend’s accusatory glare, she flicked her gaze around the campsite. “Where is Inuyasha?”

Annoyed, but still unshakably accommodating, Kagome only pointed upward. And Sango walked to his favorite tree, and shouted up to the branches.

“Hey, Inuyasha! Will you come down here?”

After a moment, she got a response from the top. “Keh, what do you want?”

She understood his moodiness at her. But she and Sesshoumaru hadn’t done anything. Not really.

Determinedly, she attempted to persuade him. “I need to talk to you. Would you take a walk with me?”

A moment of silence ensued, but she was feeling confident he would indulge her.

A rustle of branches later, the hanyou was down from his tree.

This new information allowed her to view him in a much different light. He really was handsome. And the possibility that he might want her so badly caused a giddiness to race through her that was enthralling, and not entirely unwelcome.

She offered him a warm smile before turning back towards the forest, though in the opposite direction she had arrived from.

He regarded her curiously, before shooting Kagome a questioning glance. When she only shrugged in response, he finally turned, following Sango’s lead to the tree line.

Once more left to her own devices, Kagome found herself incredibly curious, and more than a little miffed.

What was going on? What did Sango need to tell him that she didn’t want her to hear?

And why was he willing to take a walk with her, when he had turned down Kagome’s invitation earlier?

She decided she was being too sensitive again. Sango obviously needed to talk to someone. And Inuyasha was alpha. It wasn’t personal.

But it didn’t stop her chest from hurting as she watched them disappear from her sight.

Once again, she was left alone.

* * *

About 10 minutes later, Sesshoumaru re emerged from the hot springs as well.

His hair was wet, and he was freshly washed. And, he seemed quite refreshed. It made Kagome’s stomach turn just a little.

Sango was still gone with Inuyasha, and she hadn’t divulged any details about their little tryst. But knowing what they had intended, she had assumed the two had gotten down to business. And very efficiently, at that, if the time they were gone was anything to go by.

She was dying to know, but she tried to appear uninterested.

“Did you have a good time?” she asked moodily, sliding her gaze at him sideways. “Get it all out of your system?”

He knew what she was implying. And if his body had cooperated, she would have been accurate.

But alas, it had not. And though incredibly frustrated, he was not entirely displeased to have still never bedded a human.

He sniffed, looking off into the distance as he replied. “We simply had a conversation.”

Kagome arched a brow dubiously. “A conversation naked in the hot springs?”

He cut his gaze to her. “Yes.”

It seemed very unlikely, but she had no reason not to believe him. Now, she was really curious. “Why didn’t you do it?”

He considered not answering, but decided to throw her a bone. He was being unusually generous tonight, in his opinion.

“Apparently, it is not something human pack mates do to each other.”

What wasn’t? Sharing women? Or taking them from one another? Was that something youkai were prone to?

She briefly thought to Inuyasha, and what his thoughts on this topic might be. She shook it off, however, and pried further.

“What did you talk about?”

“It does not concern you.”

She bristled. He was right.

But it was very uncomfortable to be out of the loop. Normally, she was the one whom everyone trusted with all of their secrets. It was so strange to be the one they were keeping things from.

How was she supposed to help if she didn’t know what was going on?

“Where did they go?”

“It also does not concern you.”

Kagome became very irritated. She’d had just about enough of this guy.

He came in here, and after a matter of days, seemed to have turned their whole camp upside down with his burdensome presence.

Sure, he was there at her insistence. But she was doing it for his benefit. For Rin’s. And all she seemed to get for her helpfulness was him successfully driving wedges between she and the rest of the group.

At her wits end, she stood; darkness adorning her once gentle features.

“You just come in here, stirring up trouble,” she accused, stepping closer as she did.

Sesshoumaru stood his ground, making a point to ignore her advance, to display how completely unconcerned he was with her.

“Don’t forget you are here because you can’t find Rin on your own. You are helpless without us.” That finally earned hit attention. He narrowed his eyes at the insinuation, yet he allowed her to continue.

His intimidating scowl did nothing to derail her menacing approach.

“You better stop antagonizing everyone if you ever want to find her again. Because without our guidance, you are totally useless to her.” She was so close now, that he could reach out and throttle her. And he should, with her disrespectful behavior. Promise be damned.

If the circumstances warranted it, he would break his oath and kill her. Or any of them. If the offense was egregious enough; his honor could be preserved, while still offering her a swift death. And she was approaching dangerously close to the border of his patience.

His eyes nearly crossed at her increasing proximity. He was shocked at her boldness, to the point of nearly being impressed. But not quite.

“You should be doing whatever you can to help us, so we can help you find her.” She was right in his face now, without an ounce of fear. It was foolish on her part.

He should strike her down right now. He would be justified to do so. But for some reason, he held back.

And so did she. For she had the overwhelming urge to poke her boney finger into his chest at the moment, to accentuate her point. But she wisely refrained. Whether she had suddenly come to her senses, or she found regret in her accusations, she softened a bit.

He marveled at her shifting moods. But he was so thrown off by her uncharacteristic frostiness, he found it difficult to insert himself appropriately.

This woman must be enduring an incredible amount of stress. The prospect helped keep his temper at bay.

She retreated slightly. Still determined, her tone saddened just a fraction. Her eyes never left his own, and seemed to implore him with their sincerity.

“The more trouble you cause everyone, the more it's going to set us back. You are standing in your own way here. I just hope you realize that it's your little girl who is paying for your behavior.”

He refused to let her rile him. He was far more disciplined than that.

This woman would get her due. If he was correct in his assumptions, his declaration to the slayer would see to that.

So he swallowed down his urge to lash out, and opted for an annoyingly calm retreat.

He fixed her with a long, cold glare. But she was more upset by the hint of mockery she thought she detected there.

“You may not want to wait up for them. I would imagine they shall be a while.” She bristled again, and he wanted to smirk. But he didn’t. He only stared at her intensely a moment more, before simply brushing past her.

“Good night, miko.”

And when he made for his hut, she was alone once again, trying her best to make sense of his meaning.

* * *

Inuyasha was pleased of what his nose informed him. Sango hadn’t done anything particularly obscene with his brother.

But he was less than pleased at the circumstances. And was more than a little curious as to what had actually transpired.

“So, what were you guys doing?” he demanded. But his discomfort was very apparent. So was his curiosity.

She blushed. “Oh, we were just talking.”

The look he gave her proved his disbelief. “Okay. It was a little more than that,” she admitted, and he sunk. “But we stopped things before they got too far.”

Her assurance seemed to lessen his pain a fraction. He couldn’t help but pry. He was alpha after all. This could be considered his business. “Why?”

Their stroll had taken them far from the camp. The snow on the ground made it difficult to get around, as the white slush concealed dangerous branches and stones which could prove hazardous.

Inuyasha couldn’t risk injuring himself further. If something happened to Rin because they had to wait any longer for him, he could never live with himself.

But he also noticed how Sango was having trouble navigating around the cluttered trail. An overturned tree at the edge of the lake seemed like a good enough place to stop.

So he gestured, indicating that she sit. She seemed willing enough to abide, offering a gentle smile that dulled the ache in his heart that had been there ever since she had left with his brother.

She blushed slightly when he helped her to sit. And once she was safely in place, he joined her at her side. “We just don’t feel that way about each other.”

Her smile faltered when she noticed him moan slightly in pain as he sat. The wound from the snake was apparently still hurting him.

“I thought you said you needed it.”

She was making a point to judge his reactions. She noted the scowl on his features at mention of the incident. She shrugged. “I thought I did. I was wrong.”

She also noted the way his breathing hitched for a second when she placed a hand on his arm. And the way his eyes widened slightly, and his cheeks took to pinkening.

And he was assessing her in return. He looked down to where they touched, and intently back into her eyes once more.

“What’s going on with you and Miroku?” he finally decided to address the elephant in the room. “It seems like you ain’t even a couple anymore.”

He had hoped that when he split up the huts, it might have eased the tension between the two a bit. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say.

But the pair seemed quite set on avoiding each other now. He felt negligent. He should not have let things get so bad before addressing this with them.

Just with Sesshoumaru joining them and all, he had gotten distracted.

His brother never would have allowed such a thing to occur in his own pack. He seemed to always have control, to know what to do.

‘Except now,’ he conceded. He shook himself mentally at the thought.

He should stop comparing himself to him. They were not the same. No matter how much at one point he had desired to emulate his impressive older sibling.

“We’re not. At least, I don’t think we are.”

He was drawn from his self-loathing by her sad utterance. Eyes downcast, she lowered her head to study the ground beneath her.

“Haven’t you talked to him?” She shook her head.

“He’s always so busy with his other girls. He doesn’t even make time for me.”

It would be so easy to indulge in a Miroku-bashing session with her now. He could take her side, and make himself look better in comparison. Maybe, in her sorrow, he could even convince her that he was a superior choice.

But he would be a pretty rotten alpha if he did something like that.

He still had his honor. And he would do right by them. It was important to him that they knew they could trust him.

“Well, you don’t make time for him either. It seems like you are always taking off.”

It was hard to hear, but she knew he was right. “It just hurts too much to see him,” she admitted. “I think we both know that it’s over. But neither one is brave enough to have the conversation. It’s just easier to avoid each other.”

The the relief he felt at her confession was quickly replaced by guilt. He should not take pleasure in the dissolution of the relationship of his pack mates.

But maybe, there would be a chance for him.

He pushed that thought away. It wasn’t the time. Not yet.

“You guys really need to talk. It is better for everyone if you address all your concerns, instead of bottling them up.” Tired of her sad expression, he attempted to lighten the mood. His boyish grin was disarming. “I mean, it must be bad if you were willing to mess around with the Ice Prince. What were you thinking?”

She let out a short laugh, and wiped a rebel tear away from her eye. “I wasn’t. I see that now.”

“I mean, he’s such-”

“A jerk?” she finished for him, earning a large smile from the hanyou.

“Yeah.” She leaned in just enough to touch shoulders, and he bumped her back in a friendly manner.

“I know that now. I mean, I always knew. But I guess I was willing to look past it.”

“Why?” He became serious once more. He really wanted to know.

This was awkward for her, but she owed him her honesty. Besides, maybe he could help. Of everyone she knew, he was probably the only one she felt comfortable talking to at the moment.

“I was so desperate to have a little attention; I was willing to settle for less than I deserve.”

She was right about that, and he was happy she could see it. Then again, he wouldn’t wish his asshole brother on any woman.

His genuine smile was a very welcomed sight. She couldn’t draw her eyes away from his handsome features in that moment.

He was so close, still touching her shoulder as she spilled her guts to him. She reveled in the comfort she felt in his presence. How easily he brought it out in her. How safe he made her feel.

And she loved him like this. With no fronts or walls put up. All he wanted was to help her. But in that moment, she decided she wanted more.

She wanted to ease his pain. To lift his spirits. She wanted to see this tender and caring side of him, and she wanted to be the one to bring it out.

She made her decision then, and smiled at him softly. “Then I realized, there was someone better for me all along right here.”

He froze when she touched his hand then. Before he knew it, their hands were clasped together, and she brightened incredibly.

He could barely form words. The poison must be going to his head.

But when she began stroking the back of his hand with her thumb, he decided he should probably try to say something, instead of sitting there stupidly with his mouth open.

“Sango-”

“Inuyasha. Do you have feelings for me?”

She was in no mood to mess around here. She needed to know where they stood. The sooner she did, the sooner she could see to getting on with her life.

“So, you did notice,” he looked down nervously. “I thought I was hiding it pretty good.”

She remembered her promise to Sesshoumaru, and kept her mouth shut. She would let him believe that she picked up on his feelings herself, instead of telling him his brother had anything to do with it.

Just as well. Adding Sesshoumaru to this situation any more than he already was, clearly was a poor idea.

“I don’t understand. Why didn’t you say anything before?”

He lifted his other hand to their already clasped ones, and cradled hers between them. He found it easier to make his confession when he could focus on their fingers instead.

“Miroku is my friend,” he explained. “He is pack. And so are you. The health and happiness of the pack is most important. I would never hurt any of you.”

He finally found the courage to look her in the eyes, and she was startled at the raw pain she saw there.

“Besides, I never thought you would ever want me. I’m a half demon. I’m used to being looked over.”

She wanted to comfort him. To tell him that didn’t matter to her. It didn’t.

Well, not anymore.

She would be lying to suggest that his demon blood had never played a part in her feelings toward him.

When they first met, she had indeed written him off as unacceptable. But that wasn’t her anymore.

And he had a large part in removing her prejudices.

Still playing with her hands in his, he found the courage to venture a burning question.

“Were you really gonna- you know. With Sesshoumaru?” She blushed, and looked away. “Do you really like him that much?”

He didn’t really want to know, but he had to ask. If there was going to be anything between them, they could not have secrets. It was best to get everything out in the open right away.

“Your brother is a good-looking guy,” she admitted honestly. Then she smirked. “But he is a total jerk.”

He always hated how females seemed to fall at his brother’s feet. But at least she could see what a bastard he was. A lot of girls were not willing to look deep enough to see that about him.

But Sango wasn’t like other girls.

“And good looks run in your family,” she pandered shamelessly. “I would much rather be with someone like you.”

He wasn’t expecting the kiss. Her lips met his so quickly he barely had time to react.

He savored the sweet taste of her lips against his own.

It was something he had fantasized about countless times over. But she had never felt as incredible in his wildest dreams as she did here, in the flesh, pressing herself willingly and wantingly against him.

In his fantasy, things had gone a lot further a lot faster. But now, with her actually here, and unbelievably receptive, he found himself too shocked and overwhelmed to do much more about it than relax, and revel in this rare moment of victory. Of acceptance.

Good things did not happen to him. He was well acquainted with how it felt to want things; to need them. Yet, to be resigned to going without. Such was the life of a half demon.

And now that he was simply being gifted with that which he wanted most in the world, he feared that pushing for more would be a slap in the face to the kami. All he could feel was gratitude to whatever great forces were allowing him this moment, even if it was only a brief occurrence on his otherwise tortured existence.

He placed a gentle hand at the back of her neck, boldly yet respectfully attempting to deepen the kiss. And in turn, she gripped his haori and pressed herself closer to him.

But when she attempted to undo his clothing, he grabbed her hands to stop her. She only looked on confused. And she could tell he was warring with himself.

“I can’t,” he breathed out between ragged pants. “Not yet.”

She huffed angrily, and turned away. She was getting pretty sick of having her advances rejected.

The demon slayers she had experienced had never offered her any resistance. And Miroku certainly hadn’t. Maybe she had been spoiled.

“Sango, I want you more than anything,” he tried to explain. When she turned her head away, he grabbed her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him again. “But it wouldn’t be right to do this before you talk to Miroku. We need to get this all squared away before we get any closer. I have to do what is right for the pack.”

She sighed. He was right. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t frustrated with the situation.

Regardless, she offered him a small smile. No matter what her hormones were telling her, she couldn’t fault him for putting the wellbeing of others above his own urges.

Urges she definitely knew were there, if what she had felt pressed against her hip a second ago was any indication.

At least he was superior to _someone_ in that regard. If not in size, then at least his ability to perform...

“I will talk to him,” she assured him, and he smiled gratefully. “But you need to talk to Kagome as well.”

He wasn’t expecting that. He furrowed his brow in confusion.

“Kagome and I ain’t-”

“I know.” Now her hand was on his cheek, demanding his attention. She had succeeded in silencing him at the unexpected action. “But she wants to be. She expects that you two will be more. And you know that.” He looked down guiltily.

He knew how Kagome felt. And he admitted that he had not handled her properly. He had intended to talk to her about it eventually, but he was really hoping that she would come to the same conclusion on her own. The longer things went, the harder it became to bring it up. He had been a coward.

But he was afraid that when he turned her down, she would not want to be his friend anymore. It would kill him if she removed herself from his life. But the worst thing would be if he hurt her. He was trying to avoid that at all costs. Now, it seemed, that the time had finally come.

“This is going to hurt her. But you have been stringing her along for way too long. You need to tell her, and let her move on.”

Despite their current issues, Kagome was still like a sister to her. Sisters fought, but they still cared about each other.

She cared about Kagome. She could even say she loved her. And she was not looking forward to how this new development would change things between them. She only hoped that the pack was strong enough to withstand it.

He nodded determinedly. “I will. But I have to wait until the moment is right.” At her look, he elaborated. “I swear, I will tell her tomorrow.”

His determination inspired her to act as well. This was a long time coming anyway. “And I will tell Miroku.”

She went in for one more kiss. It was still somewhat awkward, and she accepted that it would take time to get used to. But the happiness she felt when taking his lips with hers would be more than enough to assuage any weirdness in the new feelings. And any guilt. When they parted, she rose to leave.

But his grip on her hand was strong, and he yanked her back down into her seat.

“Wait. Don’t go yet.” His strong arms pulled her easily into his lap. He ignored the pain he felt at the sudden action, but enjoyed the giggle she emitted at the unexpected movement.

“Just because we gotta wait, it don’t mean we can’t still talk.” She smiled as he rubbed his cheek against hers. She was way too easy to persuade. “Sit with me awhile.”

* * *

When informed that the trip to the hot springs had been innocent - as innocent as a co-ed trip to the hot springs could be - Miroku had no problem engaging cordially with Sesshoumaru once more. He wouldn’t have held it against him if he had messed around with the woman; they were all but broken up by now anyhow. But it would have been admittedly more uncomfortable.

“I’m going to spend the night in the next village over,” Miroku informed his roommate as he packed a few things into his sack. It was one he used when making overnight excursions. “I have a woman I like to visit there. And she has several beautiful friends.” He waggled his eyebrows at the imposing male. “Would you like to come with me?”

Sesshoumaru had no trouble garnering attention from the ladies. Miroku considered he would be a good man to have around when he wanted to attract females.

Whatever women Sesshoumaru rejected would be prime for the taking. He was going to make it his goal to turn him into his wing man.

Sesshoumaru only watched him silently, as the monk prepared to leave their hut for the evening.

“Come with me, Sesshoumaru,” he beseeched. “Us bachelors need to stick together.” It was his first time admitting his bachelorhood out loud, and he couldn’t get over how strange it sounded. But also, how right. “Don’t worry about your face, they are going to love you. Girls like a rugged man.”

Sesshoumaru considered it for a moment.

The way things had turned out at the hot spring had him decidedly frustrated.

But his conversation with the miko had left him unsettled.

There were other matters he had to tend to. And he refused to be distracted by the infuriating call of his body.

Perhaps another time, if his issue persisted.

“The offer is appreciated. However, This One must rise early tomorrow. I refuse to give half of my morning away to this night.”

“Just stay up all night,” he suggested, offering his mischievous grin. “Trust me, these girls will keep you very busy.”

“I decline.”

Miroku sighed in defeat. He knew when to push the issue, and when it was a losing battle. Maybe next time.

Packing the last item in his sack, he flung it over his shoulder and prepared to exit.

“Suit yourself. But remember what I told you about expelling your desires. We wouldn’t want another repeat of last night, would we?”

Sesshoumaru scowled menacingly, causing Miroku to release a nervous laugh.

If the monk knew what was good for him, he would desist bringing that particular matter up.

* * *

It had been hours since Inuyasha had left with Sango; braving the snow laden forest which surrounded their camp, in order to obtain a small measure of privacy. For some reason.

The suspense was killing her. And Kagome wished more than ever in that moment that she and the taijiya were on better terms. If these were the good ol’ days, Sango would confide in her friend as soon as she returned from her walk, making sure not to skimp on every last juicy detail.

But then again, if things were as they had been before, she probably wouldn’t have deemed it necessary to insist on any secrecy in the first place.

A single lantern dimly illuminated the small hut the women shared. And Kagome had spent the last few sleepless hours gazing at the empty bedroll on the other side of the room.

Sesshoumaru had said they only talked. And now she was having a private talk with Inuyasha. Was she next? She desperately hoped that she was.

The two had a few things to sort out. She had hoped that after a tryst with Sesshoumaru, Sango would calm down enough to put their little tiff behind them.

But he insisted that they hadn’t done anything lewd, and she was only left to wonder what was discussed. She hoped, whatever it was, it would be enough to help Sango get over her testy attitude with the rest of the group.

But then, Sesshoumaru seemed to inspire more aggravation that placation lately. She would just have to wait and see.

This whole ordeal was incredibly frustrating.

Tensions were high, and as such, the young time traveler was finding herself far too wound up to sleep.

Sango and Inuyasha still weren’t back yet, and each minute that passed only caused the muscles in Kagome’s body to wind even tighter.

She should just enjoy the solitude.

Everyone was in such close quarters, that a moment to one’s self was a rarity. She should really be taking the opportunity to enjoy the quiet, and try to clear her head. But she was anxious. She had been trying to sleep for hours, but both mind and body were grossly overtaxed.

The stress was starting to have an effect on her.

Kagome knew of a few methods to deal with her tension. One in particular was only possible when she was alone.

As it had been some time since she was afforded full privacy within her hut, she decided now was probably a good time to dust off her old standby and put the method to use. Though she now had a new tool at her disposal.

She rose from her bedroll, and made her way across the room.

* * *

In his own hut across the way, Sesshoumaru was having trouble sleeping as well.

His reaction to the slayer had been troubling. He had never had a problem getting his body to perform for him in the past. So why now?

He had been more than ready, with a naked and willing - very willing - woman in his lap. Then, when the time came...

He nearly smiled at the irony. In the past, he would have been mortified that he ever _could_ have a reaction to a human woman’s body. Now he was loathing the fact that he couldn’t.

He wondered if he would ever get control over his human form. With any luck, he would not be in it long enough to need to.

And why had he encouraged the slayer to consider entertaining the half breed? His brother’s love life, or lack thereof, was of no interest to him. After his embarrassing failure in the springs, he could have just sent the woman on her way without interfering. What had possessed him to suggest such a thing?

Perhaps he was attempting to embarrass the boy. Yes, that must be it.

His first plan of laying with the girl Inuyasha desired had fallen through. So perhaps the next best thing was to inform the woman of his brother’s feelings.

Surely, no woman would consider a romantic relationship with a half breed. When she refused him, the boy would be humiliated, and that would bring Sesshoumaru pleasure. Wouldn’t it?

But he had yet to hear the couple return.

With his human hearing, it is likely he would have missed it. But it had been hours. And surely the woman would not take this long to reject him. He needed to see for himself.

Rising from his bedroll, he approached the split in the wood which granted him access to the females’ hut.

He could see the light in the window. It burned clearly in contrast to the encompassing darkness of the rest of the forest. But without his superior sight, he could not make out who was inside.

He fetched his binoculars from beneath his pile of blankets on the floor, and focused again on the window across the way.

He could make out the miko, who appeared to be very much awake. She was clothed this time - thank kami - though she only donned an overly large t-shirt which covered her down to mid-thigh. Thin, muscular legs poked out from beneath the hem, and he tried not to focus on them as she busied herself in her strange yellow pack.

He recognized the box she removed as the one which contained the pink massager. His snooping already alerted him to its purpose, and he surmised that the woman must have some tension of her own to work out.

‘Too bad the item is a piece of junk.’

He continued to watch her as she removed it from its case, and made her way back to lay down on her bedroll.

It became clear that the slayer had yet to return. He errantly began to wonder what was keeping her and his brother so long, but his mind became blank when he saw Kagome turn on the device, and place the buzzing item beneath the edge her shirt.

Between her legs, in the apex of her thighs, she pressed the massager firmly onto her clit.

A small moan escaped her as she ran it in small circles, while thrusting herself upward in rolling, suggestive movements.

He stilled stiff as he watched her, too stunned to move an inch.

‘Hn. I suppose if used in that regard, perhaps the item is not as useless as This One perceived...’

With the miko’s spirited demonstration, he quickly became aware of the massager’s true intended purpose.

She pressed the pink wand harder into her heated flesh, and placed a hand over her mouth to muffle the sounds of ecstasy she was eliciting from herself.

As she continued bucking upward, she used the hand on her mouth to run temptingly down her neck, and take hold one of her breasts. She was still covered by the oversized shirt, but when she grabbed harshly onto her own generous offering, he could make out the size and location of her feminine curves perfectly.

Every ounce of blood in his body rushed to his throbbing shaft.

He bit his lip at the reaction, before sending a withering glare down to his pulsating manhood.

‘Where were you when I needed you?’ he thought disdainfully. ‘When I could have done something about it.’

He supposed he still could. In fact, he would do well to. The monk’s warning before his departure was ringing in his ears.

He had no interest in enduring another disturbing dream this evening. And he certainly had no interest in washing his seed from his clothing again as well.

He’d already decided he would be sleeping commando tonight to prevent such an occurrence. But taking care of his desire now would hopefully aid him in his persisting issues throughout the day as well.

Gripping his binoculars in one hand, his other made the journey downward, to finally take firm hold of his aching cock.

His thick, angry length burned hot in his hand. And he took his time to savor the feeling as he pulled himself from the base of his shaft, all the way up to his perfectly formed tip. Precum was already accumulating there, and he collected it with a strategic pass, and spread it around himself as a form of lubrication.

All the while, he was watching her.

She seemed to find her rhythm, that was for certain.

Both her legs were bent. And she used the leverage she had to pointedly hump herself up and down into her toy. Clenching her sexy ass in a way which lifted her slightly from the mat on the floor, and into the vibrating pink wand which was aiding her in receiving pleasure.

Her other hand was roaming everywhere. Grabbing one fine, ample breast, to squeeze and rub, before tweaking the hardened peak of a taut nipple; before switching to the other, and giving it equal attention.

She ran it through her thick, shiny hair. Tangling itself in her ebony locks, and occasionally pulling in a tantalizing way which seemed to arouse more pleasure from the slight pain it caused her.

And finally, as her breathing became more labored, and her movements more frantic, it moved below her navel, to join the other in working her swollen clit through the fabric between her legs.

She was rubbing the wand harder over her mound, when she took her free hand and used her two fingers to venture beneath her finely made undergarments. Going through the hole in leg, she pushed the material aside. She wasted no time in warming herself up- she was already quite stimulated from her vigorous actions- as she entered herself to the knuckle with both fingers at once, and began the sinful motion of pumping them in and out of herself over, and over again.

He was stroking himself furiously at this point.

What began as slow, savory motions up and down the length of his cock were now speedy, violent and desperate attacks.

His mouth hung open as he watched the miko pleasure herself, to aid his heavy, ragged breaths from entering and exiting his overworked lungs.

An especially erotic movement from her would evoke extra tingles of pleasure at the base of his spine. Pulling the feeling through his cock would occasionally stir a strangled, choking gasp to pass through his needy lips.

He did not attempt to push aside the images his mind supplied, as he pictured himself on top of her, giving her the pleasure she was now giving herself.

But he could do so much better, offer her so much more than that pathetic little massager she was so incredibly enamored with.

He could see her very clearly, on her back, thrusting shamelessly into her own working hands. Eyes closed tight and mouth open in a silent scream.

But in his mind’s eye, it was him there.

His perfect, skillful movements were taking her to heights she had never known.

His incredibly long, perfectly rigid member was burying itself deeper inside than she had ever experienced. Ever thought possible.

At a speed so reckless, so inhuman that she thought she might perish from overstimulation. She didn’t think she could take it; but she would. Oh, yes she would. He would make certain of that.

By the time he was through, she would be begging him for more. Despite the impossible exhaustion and need for rest and hydration, she would demand he perform again, because she simply couldn’t live another second without him giving her the unbelievable pleasure she had only just learned was possible. And now, could not do without.

And he was picturing her beneath him.

Her satin soft skin was heaven against his hands. His lips. His bare, continuously flexing stomach.

He would help himself generously to every last bit that she offered, as he would indulge himself fully in the banquet of this woman’s body.

And her walls were clamped around him so tightly. Squeezing him so firmly, that with each retreat of his cock from her tiny, quivering form, he feared that his outstanding girth would not have the strength to pry her apart again, so that he may enter once more.

But he would.

And she would more than allow it.

Despite seeming to force him from her impossibly tight heat, each time he pressed forward, she welcomed him warmly. No, more than that.

She _demanded_ he enter her. Give her the pleasure that only he could give, and take whatever he could plunder in return.

He could feel his climax approaching as he pounded furiously into his fist.

And when a sharp, strangled cry alerted him to her own fantastic release, the sound caused him to still, and stiffen.

Still holding onto his binoculars, he removed them from his eyes. He braced himself against the wall with his forearm, and buried his face into the crook of his elbow.

He was still pounding his dick as his seed shot from him powerfully. Spurts of white painted the wall in front of him, as he gasped a hushed, broken breath into his arm.

He continued stroking until nothing was left. He could feel the sweat on his forehead as he removed it from the inside of his elbow.

He fought to regain his choppy breath as he finally opened his eyes. When he did, he could see the evidence of his pleasure dripping down the wall in long, viscous gobs.

When he raised his naked gaze back to the crack in the wood, still righting his breathing as the spots cleared from his eyes, he could see that her lantern had been extinguished.

It indicated that she had finally gone to bed, and he found himself hoping that she would be able to now rest well.

As for himself, the Western Lord found sleep not long after returning to his mat.

And for the first time since his transformation, he enjoyed a peaceful, dreamless slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ve still got a long ways to go with this story, but I needed to get through a lot of leg work and set up first. This chapter helped me with that. So if you think its going slow, that’s why. But we’re just getting started, and we’re gonna have some good pay offs coming up. So stay tuned! 
> 
> On a side note, have you read Stripped Bare yet? It’s a pretty long one-shot I wrote, and it’s been getting great feedback. So if you haven’t had a chance, check it out and let me know what you think! It might be some of my best work so far... 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	14. Motives Uncovered

Kagome was always a dreamer. And not just in the fanciful sense.

Every night, when she would rest her head to get respite from her - to put it mildly - hectic life, her imagination would run rampant; either distracting her from her difficult, dutiful existence, or strongly suggesting she analyze recent events without the limitations of her consciousness. Or both.

As a child, she dreamed of fantastic things. Creatures that did not exist, and lands that never were. Confusing and often nonsensical adventures would carry her from the dark nights through to the early dawn.

Ironically, when she actually began having such adventures in her real life, those light, and exciting dreams stopped coming. Perhaps it did make sense.

Now that her waking hours were full of unbelievable and unexplainable things with increasing regularity, her mind did not see fit to supply her with such whimsy.

She didn’t have nightmares, per se. Perhaps she had experienced enough horror in real life to remove those things from her slumber as well. Dreams were not supposed to resemble the waking world too accurately, after all. Throughout her time in the feudal era, her dreams had been coming more stressful.

She would often be chased, though she did not know by who.

A looming threat always seemed to linger and nip at her heels, but she could never be certain of what. Its presence was strong, and inspired her flight. But after all this time, she could never discern what it was that she was running from. She’d accepted that it was likely her brain supplying some kind of metaphor. But there had been so many threats to her safety and her sanity over the years, she had trouble narrowing down what her subconscious thought she was afraid of.

Intricate, and involved dreams would leave her weary upon waking. Though she usually couldn’t remember the details, she simply had the feeling that she had just been put through the ringer. And for a long while, at that. When you stress in your dreams, it is hard to wake up feeling rested.

That was why this morning, when the sounds of movement within her hut stirred her awake, she initially was pleased to be coming to peacefully.

As per the norm, she could not remember what dreams she’d had. But the calm rejuvenation she experienced as she opened her eyes told her that perhaps for once, she had dreamed nothing. It was a welcome break. Especially with how things had been.

But her relief was short lived. Someone was in her hut.

She had fallen asleep alone, waiting for her roommate to return. And she certainly wasn’t expecting Sango to be up before her. But apparently, she was. And she was relieved anew at the appropriate presence in the room.

Kagome yawned with a stretch, and plastered a cautious smile across her sleepy face.

She still wasn’t quite sure how to handle the woman now; How she would be received. But she was nothing if not persistent. And tactful. And polite.

“Sango.” The demon slayer seemed startled as she was distracted from dressing. She appeared to be getting ready for the day. Clearly, she had somewhere to be. Kagome was no longer so privy to the busy young woman’s daily schedule. But really, there were only so many things to do, unless she had joined some sort of secret society nobody else knew about.

“You sure got in late last night,” she began timidly. “Did you have a nice talk with Inuyasha?”

She was dying to know, so she prompted. But she refused to pry.

Sesshoumaru’s cutting words to her the night before were still fresh in her mind.

He was right. It wasn’t her business. She didn’t need to insert herself into every little thing. But the two of them used to share everything with each other.

She hoped she would at least get her turn at a heart to heart, just as everyone else was seeming to get with her friend.

Her hope swelled when Sango regarded her sympathetically. It was the first time in days she had not looked at her with anger, and she was optimistic that things could finally start mending between them.

And when the demon slayer crossed the room, to pull her into a hug, she smiled in relief. She sighed as she melted exhaustedly into the embrace; ignoring the awkward feeling of battle attire digging into her shoulder.

She was enjoying the warmth of the renewed comradery, until the woman’s confession caused her to falter.

“I’m so sorry, Kagome.”

They were the words she had been waiting to hear. What she felt she was owed, to be honest. But she wasn’t expecting them to come so freely.

Sango grabbed her tightly, nearly squeezing the breath out of the much smaller woman as she explained herself.

“I haven’t been myself lately, and I have been taking out on all of you. You most of all.” Kagome ignored the discomfort at being handled so roughly. Because despite the pain of being crushed against the muscular huntress, the apology removed the large weight within her chest. She would have hugged back, but her arms were pinned to her sides, with no hope of escape. “The way I have been treating you is inexcusable. I hope you will forgive me.”

Finally. She knew Sango would snap out of it eventually. The resentment dragged on longer than she had predicted, and was far harsher than she felt she deserved. But they were all under a great deal of stress lately.

She was more than willing to bury the hatchet. She just wanted this whole mess over and done with.

She smiled again as she gripped her back the best she could.

“Of course, Sango. We should never let a man come between us.”

But when she made to extract herself, Sango held her tighter.

“I’m glad to hear you say that.”

Sango removed herself only enough to look her straight in the eye, drawing more attention to how strong she had gotten recently. She really had been training a lot.

Kagome met her friend’s intense, imploring gaze, and was mesmerized by it. Pulled into its orbit seamlessly, and for a moment, it rendered her incapable of reaction.

“I’ve always thought of you as a sister,” she admitted. “And I hope you know that I would never do anything to hurt you.”

The statement wasn’t all that strange. But something about it just seemed off. Confusion, and suspicion was creeping into Kagome’s aura, but the sudden appearance of the monk distracted them both from their reconciliation.

“Ladies,” Miroku ventured cautiously from his place in the threshold.

He was trying his best to contain it, but neither could ignore the somber air about him.

Usually, the sight of the two women embracing would garner some lewd comment from the monk, or at least a suggestive joke.

But there was no mirth in his features, and Kagome could guess why.

Sango had declared her intentions with Sesshoumaru last night. Even if they did not come to pass, her motive was loud and clear.

And even though Miroku probably had it coming to him, Kagome still felt bad.

They used to be in love. Or at least it had looked that way.

And now the honeymoon appeared to be over, when it never really got to begin.

But in the end, Miroku had been exactly the man he had always declared himself to be. And as much as Kagome did not admire it, Sango should have seen it coming.

Maybe she loved him so much that she would do anything she could to make it work, to try and change him. Maybe she was just naïve, though it was hard for her to assign such a trait to the worldly demon slayer. Sango was only a couple of years her senior, but she seemed so much older than that. Living in these times tended to do that to you.

But Miroku had never made secret, or attempted to deny his lecherous ways. He had declared himself quite accurately, in fact. And when someone tells you who they are, you would do well to believe them.

Sadness blanketed Kagome at this realization. It seemed that Miroku was next in line for a one on one with Sango. And this would be the conversation that finally put their relationship out of its misery.

She only hoped that the couple could find happiness without one another. That the pack could endure this heartbreaking shift.

She hoped that even though they were not romantically involved any longer, they would still have each other as friends. As she hoped they all always would.

Sango spared a look at the man she had planned to grow old with, before turning back to Kagome, who was still in her arms.

“I need to talk to Miroku,” she told her somberly; determinedly, commanding her full attention. “When I get back, I am here if you want to talk to me. I hope that you will.”

“Of course,” she assured her. Why wouldn’t she? She would probably need a friendly ear after this.

Maybe that was why she was so eager to make up. She would need her best girlfriend to get her through this rough break up.

But Kagome didn’t care what the reason was. She was only happy that they could be close once more, just like they had always been.

Sango pulled her in again for another crushing hug.

“I love you Kagome.”

She didn’t realize until then how badly she needed to hear that from someone. She had felt so isolated lately. So unappreciated. It looked like things were finally starting to turn around for her. She held in her tears as she smiled.

“I love you too.”

With resignation, Sango finally retreated. She flashed Miroku a weak smile as she approached him, which he solemnly returned, and they walked off together.

Kagome watched them go sadly, before giving herself a shake. She had gotten a late start today, and there were a million things to do.

If she hurried, she could have breakfast ready for them by the time they got back.

She just finished getting dressed when Inuyasha alerted her of his approach, and entered her hut. She perked up at the sight of him.

“Good morning Inuyasha!” she greeted cheerily, and welcomed him inside. “You guys were sure out late last night.” There was no accusation in her tone; it was merely observational. But she missed his nervous countenance as her curiosity got the better of her. Maybe her best friend would clue her in on what the hell was going on. “What did you guys talk about?”

Maybe it wasn’t her business, but there was no harm in asking. If it was something she should know, Inuyasha would tell her. They were a team. And their investment, and concern in one another’s happiness and safety left very little to secrecy.

But when she looked at him hopefully, she finally noticed his sad appearance. He was stiff, and his arms were crossed in front of him in a defensive stance. Sorrow, and nervousness radiated from his aura which was poorly contained. And in his eyes, usually so confident and sure, she saw fear.

Worry washed over her, and she instantly became very concerned.

She was about to ask what was wrong, but before she could, he interrupted.

“That’s kind of why I’m here.” He shifted on his feet, forcing himself to meet her gaze. “Can we talk?”

* * *

It's funny how the brain works.

You spend your whole life speaking, hearing, reading and writing a language fluently.

Yet when someone puts words you know very well in an order your brain does not expect to hear them, it can sound like a foreign language.

That’s how it was at first. Inuyasha was speaking Swahili.

But once the initial shock wore off, and the words he used finally registered, a whole new wave of shock short circuited Kagome’s system.

He was blunt, yet gentle. And apologetic. Very apologetic.

Eager to get his words out, and with a tact not often employed by the brash young hanyou, he waited with baited breath for his best friend’s response.

She couldn’t give one.

She was stuck. She didn’t know what she was supposed to be feeling; what she was supposed to say.

Was she angry? Most likely.

Upset? Yeah, that’s a given.

Heartbroken? Absolutely.

But there were so many emotions bottlenecking, clamoring for dominance, that she actually had time to consider the appropriate way to react.

She was outside her body; floating high above. Watching herself in slow motion gave her plenty of time to analyze her situation with a detachment that was oddly calming.

Should she feel hurt? Betrayed?

She now understood Sango’s behavior just moments earlier.

She wanted to be angry at her, but logically she knew she couldn’t really blame them for their feelings. The heart wants what it wants, after all.

Was it fair to condemn them for having a mutual attraction to each other?

She felt like she’d been led on, and she had been to a degree.

But she and Inuyasha had never really talked about their future together. Not with any certainty.

And though he had never told her that he didn’t see a relationship being possible between the two of them, he hadn’t told her that he had.

But she had been sure there was something there. She thought things between them remained unsaid, because it went without saying. Apparently, she had horribly misconstrued their deep bond - which absolutely they had - for a romantic one.

Her own hopes had perhaps forced this seemingly inevitable scenario to go further than he had intended. And he cared too much about her to dash those hopes to pieces. Though that would have been the kind thing to do.

She had been presumptuous. Naïve.

Did she feel stupid? Blind, for not seeing what was right in front of her? And what would she do now?

Had she only agreed to stay with the promise of having a life with him that was more than they had? Was that the only reason she came back anymore?

Inuyasha, and her friends, were the reason she came to the past. With Naraku defeated, there was nothing holding her here any longer. It was no longer a duty to find the jewel which caused her to return, but her duty to her friends. And it was more than duty. It was her choice. This is where she had wanted to be. But with the life she had envisioned; she and Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango, growing old together just like she had always imagined they would, crumbling before her eyes... did she even want to stay here?

Should she feel shallow? For hinging her future and her happiness on the preconceived notion of what things would be. For considering that without the promise of her desired romantic future, she might pick up and bail on the life she had fought so hard for...

She felt so much at the moment, that she actually felt nothing. So, she said nothing. It tended to typically be the wisest thing to say. She could think of a certain former dog demon who employed this tactic to perfection. She had the presence of mind to keep her reaction guarded, so as not to say anything in the heat of the moment which could not be unsaid. She needed time to think, and sort all this out.

So, she asked him to leave. And he did. Though very concerned about her wellbeing, Inuyasha recognized her need for some space.

She sat alone quietly for a moment, trying to soak it all in. Trying to make a plan, any plan, to get her from this moment to the next, and what she should do after. But she was overwhelmed. It was too much all at once.

She wished she could cry. Scream. Release some of the horrible tension that was building in her sternum. But she was empty. Dry. So she just sat there.

And after a while, in which she was unsure if minutes or hours had passed by, she decided she wanted to move. She didn’t want to sit and wallow, or stew. Her feelings would come, she was certain of it. But for now, her friends needed breakfast, and it was her turn to cook. It would probably be easy to pawn off her chores today, but she needed the distraction. Needed to keep moving. Needed... to feel needed, even for such a simple thing. Her worth, and necessity in this world was understandably fragile. So she went to start the fire.

Only to find, to her surprise - and yes, irritation - it had already been started.

The flames roared impressively in the center of their little clearing. Perhaps one of the others, anticipating her despair, sought to lessen her burden. But the gesture was not appreciated.

As she approached closer, she noticed several fish had been scaled and skewered. The sharpened sticks were impaled firmly into the ground, and the fish were roasting to perfection around the perimeter of the flames.

“There you are, miko. I was just at your hut.”

She was too distracted to register the implications of his statement, or startle at his sudden, unexpected appearance behind her.

“Hi Sesshoumaru,” she offered dismissively, still staring at the result of another’s labor. “Who started breakfast?” She was curious of whose pity was throwing a wrench in her plans.

So curious, that she forgot to feel embarrassed at their biting exchange last night.

She kind of blew up at him, she had recognized that. She had been under a great amount of stress due to - among other things - Sango's aggressive behavior. And even though he hadn’t followed through - for reasons of which she was still not made aware - and even though it wasn’t any of her business what two grown adults wished to do in private - not much anyway - she still took out her frustrations on him; basically laying the blame at his feet for all of the distractions and disarray of the camp. And though there may have been a kernel of truth to her words, his dressing down was not entirely merited. She felt shame later - and yes, fear - for going off on the Western Lord the way that she had. She had not looked forward to their next confrontation. But with her crazy morning, her concerns regarding him got moved to the back burner. And apparently, even out of her cue entirely.

But it seemed that he didn’t see fit to remind her. He didn’t even appear to have been affected whatsoever by her harsh assessment of him. He was cool, passive, as he had always been. Moving in and out of frame with a serenity that she would have admired, were she paying attention.

“Who else but I would have done it?” he demanded rhetorically, as she scanned the camp for the culprit. “Your pack seems to have made themselves scarce.”

He gracefully made his way to the fire, and began plucking the skewers out of the dirt ground below in a predetermined order.

She wasn’t expecting that. And her incredulity showed.

“You?”

His focus was on his work, replacing the sticks in the ground at a greater distance from the flames to prevent them from drying out.

It was funny how unrecognizable he was from his former self, yet somehow, she managed not to fully register the change in his appearance.

The difference should be jarring. From the lack of facial markings, to the black hair. From the absence of his swords and armor, to the unprecedented appearance of bruises and abrasions on the usually flawless face.

Most of the marks she had found him with were nearly healed. Still visible, but not as glaring as they had been when she had discovered him that day in the snow.

His most recent black eye was not as damaging as the first had been. But it was now his most prominent injury that she could see. Other fresher marks graced his stoic face, from his most recent beating. But he appeared to be more or less on the mend.

The difference in his usually untouched features should be shocking to her. Should command her attention at every interaction. But he was just so... him. Even still. So much so, that all she saw when she looked at him was... Sesshoumaru. His appearance didn’t even register anymore. Though perhaps, she was a little bolder with him now that she had been when he was a demon. And before she had secured his promise not to kill them on a whim.

But maybe he was different. In the past, Sesshoumaru would never have entertained, or accepted, or cared about her opinion. But if she didn’t know better, she would say he had finally taken her words to heart.

She had told him to stop stirring the pot, and instead do what he could to help them. And maybe cooking breakfast was his way of contributing. But she couldn’t be certain. It was just so out of character.

But then, he was a human now, wasn’t he? Maybe simply being human altered enough within him to accept the counsel of others. Maybe he didn’t have a choice.

Either way, the prospect had her thinking.

She thought to that day. To the wish that had reduced him to this somewhat approachable, or at least less terrifying, being before her. What were her exact words?

She wished that he knew what it was like to be human.

Maybe, in being human, he was coming to learn some of what that entailed.

Maybe, they really were different enough to warrant some realizations - or at least some capabilities - that he was not aware of previously.

His smooth baritone hadn’t changed, however. And the sound of it drew her from her silent ponderings.

“With all of your useless distractions, it is a wonder anything gets accomplished around here.”

She couldn’t really blame him for having that perception. Everyone had been acting particularly crazy ever since she had brought him here, and she had the decency to be slightly embarrassed. They all probably looked ridiculously pretty, and childish to him.

She watched as he continued to transfer the sticks in the ground. When all but two remained, he removed the fish from the skewer in his hand, taking care not to mangle the cooked meat, and handed them to her.

“Why did you do all this?” she couldn’t help but ask, too discomfited to consider how rude she probably sounded.

She reached out robotically, accepting his offer. He paused a moment as his gaze lingered on her. His sudden scrutiny caused her cheeks to heat, but she didn’t know why. He seemed to be assessing her for a moment, but quickly returned to his task.

“We all must eat, correct? I arose early and caught an acceptable amount of fish.”

He said it so casually, as if feeding her was not the strangest thing in the world. Seeing as it was, she just couldn’t play along.

“You know how to fish?”

He pulled the final stick from the fire, and took the portion for himself.

“It was my first attempt. But as you can see, I excelled. There is nothing overly difficult about it.”

It wasn’t until he sat in one swift motion, and began biting into his food that she remembered to do the same.

This day was just too weird. And her confusion led her to express less gratitude than usual. Forgetting her manners, she finally focused on her meal.

She was all in her head. But after a few bites, she finally thought of something to say.

“I don’t know when the others are coming back.” Not that he asked. Or appeared to care. But he cared enough to cook for them, so she was kind of out of her element here.

He shrugged, seemingly more interested in finishing his food than conversing.

“Then their meal will be cold. I am also not opposed to you eating their share, if you wish.”

He was under the assumption that if they were not present for meals, then they must not be hungry. It didn’t matter to him. He had provided, and that was all that was required of him.

Though it would be best if they kept up their strength, for all of their benefits. But that was on them.

“No, I’ll save it for them,” Kagome announced gently. Then, finally remembering herself, she finally offered her gratitude. “Thank you.”

He was already finished with his portion before she was halfway done. She couldn’t tell if he was busy, or if he simply wanted to get through the humiliation of eating human food as quickly as possible.

“Where are you going?” she asked as he turned with purpose toward the forest. She was somewhat surprised when he answered her.

“To check the traps I had laid out. Our dinner is sure to be there by now.”

Already? They hadn’t even finished breakfast, and he was already onto dinner? He was being extra ambitious today.

Feeling slightly inadequate in comparison, she strove to make herself useful. Not to mention forget her troubles.

“Oh. Uh, I guess I can go get the laundry then.”

“Already handled,” he informed her. The information stopped her fish on its journey to her lips. She stared at him, perplexed. At her incredulous look, he simply elaborated.

“I found what you had left hanging on your clothesline, and took the liberty of sorting and folding it. I placed your things inside your hut.” At her prolonged silence, he decided to elaborate. “I hope it was not an imposition, however I assumed you did not wish for your clothing to become dirty laying on the ground outside.”

Okay, that had her forgetting her breakfast entirely. ‘hope it was not an imposition?’ When had he ever been concerned about that?

“I also took the liberty of sharpening the arrows in your quiver, along with the slayers and monk’s weapons. I offered to do the same for Inuyasha, but as you could understand, he is wary of placing his sword into my care.”

“What are you doing?” she demanded. She was grateful at first, if not entirely pleased. But now she was suspicious. What was he up to?

“My part,” he insisted, catching her eyes with his own. “You have informed This One that he is useless in finding Rin on his own.” She flushed, finally recalled their heated exchange the night before. Shame washed over her anew, as his intentions finally dawned on her.

“I have no power, no weapon, no experience fighting in this form. Therefore, I shall complete all of your duties so that you might be freed up to help me find her.”

That wasn’t what she had been implying. Well, not exactly. And while feeling guilty of her brutal assessment of him, she was also relieved that he saw fit to entertain her notions. And not to retaliate. She hoped.

She was instantly reminded of why he was here, and what they were waiting on. He had probably been worrying sick about his ward, and she hated to admit that the little girl had barely been in her thoughts at all. She had been more concerned with pack drama than fulfilling her promise to help save Rin, and felt disgusted with herself. But it wasn’t entirely up to her. She regarded him with genuine sympathy.

“I’m sorry. I know you want to leave, but Inuyasha-”

“Inuyasha just sped out of here on an extended constitutional,” he accurately recounted. “And spent all night walking about, cavorting with your good friend deep in the forest. He appears to be enough healed to ride on the back of your fire cat, in This One’s view.”

She couldn’t tell if he was trying to spin her up; trying to manipulate her. But she couldn’t deny any of his claims. She remained silent in the absence of an argument.

“Inuyasha may be alpha, but the pack listens to you. You hold more power than you realize among your companions, whether you acknowledge it or not. I believe finding Rin would be a prime opportunity to use it.”

So that’s it. He was trying to persuade her to use her sway with the others to get what he wanted. He knew his opinion held very little weight here. But when Kagome talked, the others listened. It was a power she only used in the most necessary moments. Usually when Inuyasha was being short sighted, and she needed to tip the scales.

“We all must leave together,” he grudgingly acknowledged. “And ill-prepared as you may be, even the hanyou recognizes you as a leader. By all means, miko. Lead.”

He held her gaze for a long moment. Violet, where gold had once been, held her captive with his demand. His challenge.

He may not have his great power anymore, but he had a way of cutting right through the shit and forcing you to look at things - and yourself - through his no-nonsense lens.

Demon or no, Sesshoumaru was incredibly resilient. No longer able to simply slice through his obstacles, he was forced to use whatever remained at his disposal to see his will done.

In appealing to her compassion for others, and her need to prove her worth, he was clearly laying out how she could be of use. To him, and to everyone.

She was his best shot at getting this show on the road. And in doing so, she would not be reduced to sitting on the sidelines. She could help him. She was needed.

He left before she could respond. Off to check the traps which presumably already had their next meal. He sure did work fast, when properly motivated. She surmised that he had several lifetimes of practice hunting and catching game. Though she couldn’t be certain how much of that training involved using methods that didn’t require demonic abilities.

She considered his words long and hard as she finished her meal alone, and set the rest aside for the others’ return.

His sudden helpfulness wasn’t coming out of the kindness of his heart. His motives were more than clear. And completely understandable.

His extremely limited options left him at the mercy and mobility of the pack.

They were only staying behind so that Inuyasha could heal, and the hanyou was well enough to travel. But the real question was if he would be well enough to fight, in the highly likely scenario that they would run afoul of a demon or fifty.

He may not be in his best form. But with his powerful sword, and the help of his friends, not to mention rapid demonic healing abilities, Kagome decided that it would be worth the risk. Particularly considering what was at stake.

With that matter decided, all that was keeping them back now was preparedness. They had been all set to go before Inuyasha had gotten injured. So it wouldn’t really take much to get them off and on their way. And Sesshoumaru seemed to be doing all that he could to eliminate the burden, and any excuse that might delay them.

She was guessing that his actions had more to do with that, than any inadequacies he may feel in his inability to fight with them, resulting in overcompensation. But there was likely some of that there too.

She should have been more focused on their goal. But with all the recent drama in the camp lately, everyone seemed to have let themselves become distracted. She felt a little shame in that.

But she allowed herself to inwardly beam just the slightest bit at the acknowledgment.

She was aware of the influence she had over her pack. That Sesshoumaru recognized it so easily gave her a renewed sense of importance at a time when she really needed it. But then, he had always been incredibly perceptive.

It wasn’t until the others returned to eat their now-cold breakfast that she realized her new responsibility had distracted her completely from the life altering conversation she’d had less than an hour ago. In mulling over what to do next, she hadn’t thought about her relationship with Inuyasha once.

“It's time to leave.”

Her announcement broke the uneasy silence as her companions began to eat.

“What are you talking about, Kagome?” Inuyasha asked nervously. He was afraid she was intending to leave them. It was his biggest concern in admitting his feelings to her, and he didn’t know what he would do if she did.

“Rin. We’ve waited long enough. We need to find her,” she answered clinically. She wasn’t being cold. She just didn’t want her emotions to cloud her judgement for the worse.

She hadn’t spoken to Sango since her talk with Inuyasha. She just wasn’t ready yet. But no matter what uncomfortable things were going on between them, they still needed to function as a team.

Sango began to voice her concern.

“But Inuyasha-”

“Inuyasha will be alright,” Kagome insisted, turning to him. “If he is able to take long walks in the middle of the night, then he is well enough to ride Kirara ahead of the villages. It's time to leave.”

He tried not to wince at her accurate assessment. And he pushed aside his fear that perhaps she no longer cared for his welfare. But in addition to knowing that fear was ridiculous, he agreed with her.

“She’s right,” he assured them, making brief eye contact with everyone present. “I can get around just fine now. If we’re going to track her down, we need to leave as soon as possible.”

Miroku nodded.

“Alright. We can get things ready today, and leave first thing in the -”

“No,” Kagome interrupted, catching him by surprise with her sure tone. “We leave now. Finish your breakfast and pack what you need. If we leave soon, we can get there before sunset.”

Kagome was usually content with simply going along with what the others suggested. She would throw in her two cents often, but this was their world. They had lived in it their whole lives, and knew how to navigate it far better than she. So her confident demand took them all a little off guard.

But out of all of them, Sesshoumaru had a hundred times more experience than everyone put together. And his faith in this plan gave Kagome the courage to speak with certainty. He knew what to do, and she had their ear. Between the two of them, she knew that no one would argue.

“The miko is correct,” the until now silent Sesshoumaru announced from his place at the edge of the fire. “We have wasted enough time. We must depart.”

She felt oddly validated, having his support. Even though she knew it was his own idea he was agreeing with. But really, she should have thought of it herself.

It seemed that everyone was willing to concur.

If they left soon, they could reach the first village before dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m relieved to finally be getting them out of the camp. Now we can go find some trouble XD 
> 
> Keep staying safe y’all, and employ healthy practices. what a great time to hole up and consume fanfics!!
> 
> i also wanted to take a moment to say, we are almost at the halfway point.


	15. One On One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my longest chapter ever. I was gonna break it up, but I needed everything that occurs to remain in the same chapter. 
> 
> I hope I at least kept things entertaining for you. Enjoy.

Riding on Inuyasha’s back just wasn’t the same.

It felt awkward now. And as they flew through the trees on their way to the first village, she found herself cringing at her previous behavior.

All those times...

Enjoying the thrill of him squeezed between her thighs...

Wondering if perhaps he felt it too...

Imagining his cheeks pinken and his thoughts run wild as she purposefully, yet subtly squeezed just a little bit tighter...

She had been so stupid.

It was so embarrassing. And really, she felt ashamed.

She thought he shared her feelings. That her intimate contact was wanted. But she hated the idea that all of this time he had only been enduring it for her benefit; sparing her feelings. She felt like she had been sexually harassing him. It probably just made him uncomfortable.

But they had always traveled together like this. Since... forever.

Miroku always rode with Sango on Kirara. Only now, a very human demon lord sat between them, cradled into his unfamiliar position between the seasoned pros for safe keeping.

Kagome wondered who among them actually was the most uncomfortable in that moment. At least they were all going through it together.

Thanks to their speediest companions, they made it to their destination well before dusk.

The first village they met on the tiger clan’s likely trajectory was unexpectedly sparse. That was a shame.

The point of this plan was to let the slow - yet socially acceptable - humans network around the mortal dwellings and see if they could dig up any gossip or firsthand accounts regarding Rin and her captors. Hell, any old demon sighting would do. The clan was several days ahead of them by this point, and probably not anywhere nearby. But with no solid leads to go on, they had to be as thorough, time-sensitive, and resourceful as they could manage.

While the humans poked around the village, those with demon blood would be going on ahead. Searching greater areas in faster time, and scouring the more youkai-friendly destinations.

They would meet up the next morning, and compare notes. Any leads would be investigated, or else they would move onto the next town and start again. Hopefully, they would not have to be traveling blind for long. Troublesome demons tended to make a name for themselves rather quickly. So hopes were high that someone would have heard something.

Unfortunately, this village seemed to be a bit spread out. They had not seen a single person since they landed, and the only inn for miles was not exactly in the middle of the action.

There appeared to be a modest market a ways up the road. But seeing as how huts were few and far between, it did not look like the people were incredibly neighborly.

“I sense an ominous presence. We would be happy to exterminate it for you. All we would require in return is a place to stay for the night.”

Miroku’s easy charm betrayed none of his nervousness. Too bad the innkeeper wasn’t younger. He tended to have more success with inexperienced women.

“Weren't any ominous presence until you brought that half breed filth in here with you. Be gone!”

The way she eyed them from the moment they entered pretty much told them how this was going to go. Though down a few demons from normal, tolerance levels were always hit or miss. It was why Inuyasha had planned to go on ahead with Kirara. But seeing as it was their first stop - and seeing as it would be the first time he left his pack alone with his wildcard brother - he decided to remain until he knew they were settled.

“Keh, I won’t be staying. I’m only their escort. These humans can take care of that demon for you, and I will get outta your hair.”

That they were wary of demons was both good and bad. It meant they would likely not be welcoming of their kind, nor sympathetic to their plight. But it also meant they may be eager to employ some demon exterminators to take care of the pesky threat.

The old woman squinted at him disdainfully.

At least she didn’t seem to be afraid of him. If anything, her beef appeared to be with youth in general. Never mind that he was older than she was.

“Ain’t no demons here. Coulda used you a couple days ago though.”

Bingo. Now that was why they were here. Kagome took a hopeful step closer as she gripped the straps on her shoulders more tightly.

“What happened?”

The woman closed her eyes in some form of exhaustion while the group eagerly awaited what they hoped was good news. Well, good enough.

“Had a whole group of ‘em come through here. Killed some town folk, and a few of our best soldiers.”

“Were they tiger youkai?” Sango asked eagerly. Demon attacks were not exactly rare in these parts. As a demon slayer, she had seen more than her share of villages torn apart and destroyed by vicious youkai. Decimated and overrun. But even a brief visit from the wrong demon could cause immense trauma and upset. She knew it was lofty to hope for a bullseye on the first shot.

The woman shook her head.

“I wasn’t there. But I heard they were some kind of clan.”

It sounded promising, at least. If they could find out anything about the attack from the townspeople to steer them in the right direction, it would save them a lot of time and useless searching.

“Did they have a little girl with them?” Kagome asked, shooting a quick gaze to Sesshoumaru. The quiet man stood in the back of the group, seemingly resigned to allowing the rest of them to handle the interaction. His usual method of ‘threaten and demand’ would no longer be effective. And he had zero experience engaging with mortals cordially. He didn’t want to blow it before they got what they needed.

“Like I said, I wasn’t there. They ransacked the home of our lord. His house is a few miles east of here, what’s left of it anyway. I think they are still rebuilding if you want to go ask them.”

Ah. Maybe that was where everyone was. It would be ideal if they could just get their information and go. But it was already getting late, and even if they did hear something helpful, they would need a place to sleep. The woman seemed pretty eager to kick them down the road.

“Please,” Kagome begged, putting on her best puppy eyes. “They took our friend’s, uh, daughter. We are trying to get her back, but we need a place to stay for the night. You are the only inn for miles, and if you turn us away, we will be sleeping in the snow.”

Finally, streaks of sympathy began to worm through the old woman’s weathered face as she looked down at Kagome. They were 4/5th acceptable, provided she hadn’t noticed Kirara.

“Alright. You can stay for one night. But your half breed has to go.” She met his eyes sternly, to which he remained indifferent. “The villagers are especially wary of his kind at the moment. I doubt they will be very helpful if they were to see him with you.”

Though she recognized the friendly warning cleverly masquerading as gross bigotry, Kagome couldn't stymie her attempts at making even one person understand.

“Not all demons-”

“It's a deal. Thank you.” Inuyasha grabbed her shoulder and quickly ushered them outside before the innkeeper could revoke her momentary kindness.

Before she could protest, the alpha issued his orders.

“You all go ahead.” He stood beside his brother as he addressed the others in his pack. “Sesshoumaru is going to stay here.”

Everyone else nodded in understanding, but the Western Prince finally spoke his first words since leaving the village. He turned sharply at Inuyasha’s unexpected command and scowled dubiously.

“Why?”

Sesshoumaru was not used to sitting idly by and waiting for others to do what needed to be done. He was not used to taking orders either. And though he had little interest in shaking down a bunch of pathetic humans for whatever scraps they could muster, he did want to be present. How else could he be sure he was getting the correct information? What if these humans he traveled with were not thorough enough? He could not risk it.

Inuyasha turned to face him as the others prepared to depart.

“What is your plan when you get there?”

Though he already knew the answer. Sesshoumaru got the feeling that he did too, but he still lifted his chin confidently and told him the truth.

“Demand they tell me where the tiger clan went to.”

Inuyasha raised a brow.

“And if they refuse?”

The older brother offered a casual shrug.

“I will kill them.”

Knowing moral reprimand would get him nowhere, the hanyou opted to pick apart his logic.

“With what?”

Damn. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. Normally, he didn’t have to. Even a pathetic human sword would be something. His nails were shamefully short at the moment. And he doubted his puny ninja star would prove very threatening. It did have one kill under its belt already. But from what the old woman had said, this village had soldiers. He hated how mortal armies could stifle him even a little.

“Getting information without your intimidation takes a much more tactful approach. You need to be charming and personable, so I don’t think you should go with them.”

Miroku nodded. And seeing that Sesshoumaru did not have an immediate response to that, he decided to weigh in.

“I see your point, but we can’t just leave him here by himself.”

No.

As bad as it would be for an impatient warlord to try his first hand at social etiquette, it could easily be worse to turn him loose on the rest of the town unsupervised.

He had no experience dealing with humans that wasn’t violent or demanding. And if he caused a stir while they were gone, they could easily find themselves sleeping in the woods.

“I’ll keep an eye on the bastard while you all go ahead. When you get back, I will take Kirara and move on as planned. Unless you get any better information.”

The others seemed pleased with this arrangement. Inuyasha appeared to have his eyes on the prize. And that it was Sesshoumaru’s mission, he was unlikely to cause any unnecessary trouble for them.

Still, he felt the need to interject.

“I do not need a keeper.”

“Just shut up, will ya?”

The small group made to leave. They did not know how much time they had before the brothers were completely at each other’s throats. They had best make this quick.

Sango finally approached him, and he softened.

“But you heard the innkeeper. You can’t stay here.”

She hated that that’s how it was for him. As a demon slayer, she was not shielded from the prejudices held toward his kind. She had even been guilty of harboring the same beliefs not long ago.

Now, she just felt ashamed, and sad for him.

But he was used to it. And he only smiled in the face of her concern.

He put his hands on her upper arms to assure her gently, and Kagome hoped she didn’t visibly wince.

“We will get away from the village while you are gone. I need to go over the plan with him again anyway.”

The pair looked like they may kiss in that moment. But both seemed uncomfortably aware of their audience, and resisted.

Kirara would have made the trip to the lord’s home much faster, but they could not risk being booted out for bringing a demon. Even though Kirara was especially cute, and usually an exception among most humans. She would remain with the dog brothers, and wisely kept her counsel.

The three walked in silence to a nearby field. It was on the edge of the woods, and appeared to be deserted. Woods tended to be demon territory. So even in villages where youkai were scarce, all but the bravest humans tended to steer clear.

Once they arrived, Kirara grabbed a seat off to the side and proceeded to give herself a much-needed bath. Felines required several per day as it was, but she was acting as main transportation to at least three passengers for the duration of this little quest. She would enjoy her grooming, and her alone time where she could get it.

The brothers went over the plan easily. It wasn’t really needed; both knew what was expected. They had been over it at length several times before their departure. They were just supposed to sit and play the waiting game now. Normally, both would be content with ignoring the other, if not pretending he did not exist in his company at all.

But Sesshouamru didn’t need a babysitter. He was several hundred years old by this point. And even though he had no experience existing alongside humans as anything other than their better, he refused to subscribe to the idea that he could not handle a couple of hours left to his own devices. Besides, he had an errand to run anyway.

“Where are you going?” Inuyasha demanded at his back, as his older brother silently began to walk ahead in the clearing.

Not normally one to explain himself, he found that option decidedly less taxing than enduring the hanyou’s whining.

“Into the village. I must procure a sword.”

He was worried about that. The market was up that way. And though it looked pretty empty upon their arrival, it was likely the place where most humans could be found around here.

Inuyasha followed his measured steps.

“But they said no demons in the village,” he reminded him. Though he had a feeling his brother hadn’t forgotten. Hell, it was likely why he decided he suddenly needed to go there.

Sometimes, the company several humans was preferable one half breed.

Sesshoumaru turned slowly, and Inuyasha could have mouthed his reply in unison.

“Then I suppose you must stay here.”

Oh well. What was the worst that could happen? He didn’t even have a weapon yet. He certainly wasn’t in the mood to start fights... unnecessarily.

And, Inuyasha surmised, he had to get his sea legs somehow. They were going to be visiting a lot of villages on this journey. Best to get him assimilated as soon as possible.

He just wished he could be there to supervise.

And he would, he decided. The trees were tall, and he could find a good vantage point to keep an eye on things. If his brother started any shit, Inuyasha would sweep in and break it up.

Knowing there was nothing he could say, he only waved him off passively.

“Don’t cause any problems. If you piss them off, its gonna hurt our chances at finding Rin.”

Sesshoumaru wouldn’t respond to that; only turn on his heel and continue his path.

Inuyasha considered telling him his plan, and decided it was for the best.

“I’ll be keeping an eye on you. Just stay out of trouble.”

* * *

This human market didn’t seem nearly as bad as the one he had visited in Inuyasha’s village. Maybe he was just a little more prepared this time.

Or maybe it was because it was simply less populated. Crowds made him uncomfortable, but not due to fear. He just never felt so terribly out of place.

It helped being on his own. Adding himself to this pack had ensured that any moment of solitude was few and far between. And not nearly long enough. But wandering the stalls on his own let him feel like he was stretching his wings a bit. Nobody here knew him, or what he had been. The only looks he got were from hopeful shopkeeps looking to make a sale, or the occasional approving glance of the young females in the area.

He decided that his preference must deride from the scarcity of human life, because upon visiting the shops, he found them incredibly wanting. Most appeared to be closed, and the ones that remained open had hardly anything worth looking at. If there was indeed a weapons shop, he could not discern it.

It occurred to him that any weapons that had been available may have been claimed by the soldiers who apparently had demon invaders to now ward off. As if any youkai worth his salt could succumb to such a meager threat. He supposed they could; he had vanquished more than his share of weak opponents. But such demons had no business waging war in the first place. All that they took would be his in due time.

Hn. Perhaps it was those demons who raided these shops bare as well. How he hoped it was those tigers. He would follow their pathetic path of destruction right to their deaths. Their slow, tortuous deaths. Just thinking about it lifted his mood exponentially.

Deciding he desired nothing from these people other than information, he opted for trying his hand at some easy back and forth.

He did pretty well, he considered. Finding the least offensive mortals at his disposal, he approached a couple of them here and there and fired off a few questions.

They seemed startled a bit by his curtness, though he thought he was being generously polite. He was just a blunt man, and hated wasting anything; especially time. Perhaps on the next go, he would build up to his interrogation. The idea was unappealing.

Regardless, none had been able to tell him anything he didn’t know. They were aware of a demon attack, but did not see it occur. They could not tell him which kind of demons they were, or what they wanted, or where they were going. He saw fit to inform them of where he was staying, and if anyone learned anything, to please bring it to his attention. That a little girl’s life was at stake seemed to soften their regard, as he figured it would.

Tired of this expedition, and resigned to the fact he had probably gotten as far as he was able without the aid of his ‘charming’ companions, he finally opted to leave. Sans a weapon, unfortunately.

He had the clearing in his sights as he breached the edge of the market when three men headed his way came into view.

They were large, but not like the farmers he had encountered on his previous outing. These men were taller. Leaner. Their musculature obviously had been put to specific use. These men were soldiers. After all this time, he could recognize one a mile away. Even without uniform, he could tell by their posture and gait, and that foolish confidence he had witnessed so many times before removing them effortlessly from this plane. But they were only human.

He supposed they could be considered more honorable than most. At least in that they had chosen a noble path for themselves, and in addition a shorter lifespan.

But though coming his way, into his path, their sights were not on him. They were focused on each other, laughing and boasting and speaking crudely. He recognized a soldier’s cadence as plainly as day, though if he ever witnessed his own men behaving as such in his presence, he would remove the stain to his house as permanently as possible.

He didn’t look at them either, keeping his gaze ahead of him. His confident stride kept him moving down his predetermined path. Which it became increasingly obvious was their intended path as well. Or so they thought.

In his form, and dressed plainly, Sesshoumaru was smaller than these men. As a demon, he would tower over them. His very aura would evoke fear.

But these soldiers were accustomed to seas parting for their arrival. They were probably expecting a certain level of deference from any they encountered. Though Sesshoumaru couldn’t fathom why. It was clear they had done a poor job in protecting even this tiny village. He wanted to smirk.

They continued their banter, not paying any mind to the man approaching them. A former demon, who was also accustomed to moving for no one, as was not about to start now.

In the end, only one man had grazed him. Perhaps it was slightly more than that. But by the way he startled at the contact, it appeared to be unintentional.

The soldier stopped for a moment, as Sesshoumaru continued passed without a glance up. The man looked confused, but seemed to shake himself out of it. He prepared to continue on ahead.

“Watch your step, cretin.” All three men stopped this time, and turned to the source of the low, but very clear demand.

But all they got for their troubles was the sight of a retreating back. A man walking away with no real concern, but confident in his course.

“What the fuck did you say?”

Sesshoumaru stopped at the incredulous man’s question. He only considered for a moment if these vermin were worth his trouble. He threw his head over his shoulder to get a better look at them.

Brows knit together, they appeared angry and expectant. They were offended, but they shouldn’t be.

If they didn’t want to be referred to as scum, then they shouldn’t exude it so forcefully. What did they expect? Probably not to be cut down by some random, unarmed stranger. And a human at that.

If these soldiers thought they were fit to take on invading demons – and perhaps they were. They may have taken down a few of lower stature than his previous self – then they certainly would assume to be more than a match for your average mortal.

They were probably regarded as some sort of heroes among their kind. That or feared. And by the way they had been bragging just before the unfortunate contact, they were likely constantly itching to validate that treatment.

Sesshoumaru didn’t have his demon sight, but he sized them up in an instant. They wore no armor, foolishly. But each had a sword at his hip.

Nothing impressive, but made well enough to have survived several battles. Recently sharpened, but they could use a good polishing. He would have considered them too small, and too light for him in the past. Not to mention unworthy. But compared to his current ‘nothing,’ he decided he was probably outmatched. The odds were low that he could relieve even one of them of their weapon at the moment. Perhaps if he had thought of it as they were passing... maybe next time.

But he didn’t fear these men. It wasn’t in his DNA. He had looked down the edge of far too many blades, gone nose to nose with much more fearsome opponents, even visited death’s doorstep in the most literal sense. And what did they do?

They kneeled.

They all kneeled to him. Unlike these men, he had earned his indignation.

“I said that if I desired to be touched by a lowly human, I would simply make eye contact with your women.”

His face moved not a muscle as he turned back around. And even after allowing these brutes a moment for sputtering, he was not surprised to find his path suddenly blocked.

Their rage was apparent, but they also seemed somewhat amused.

Their leader stood between them, and right in front of Sesshoumaru. None of them seemed concerned enough with him to draw their weapons, or even finger the hilt.

But Sesshoumaru wasn’t concerned either. He certainly didn’t appear it. This seemed to perplex them somewhat. Though still very confident, they were sizing him up meticulously. It was like they were trying to discern what it was they were missing.

“What? You think you’re better than everyone?”

Men of power carried weapons. And those not strong enough to fight traveled with guards. There was nothing about this stranger that screamed privilege to them, aside from his haughty tone. And then there was the way he looked at them, as if they were nothing but insects.

“Not everyone,” Sesshoumaru admitted magnanimously. Not in his current state, at least. “Certainly you.”

Anger and amusement warred until finally there was a winner. The two cronies could do naught but laugh to themselves in disbelief, while their spokesman smiled wide, and turned to his buddies.

“The balls on this guy!” He turned back from his giggling comrades and looked at Sesshouamaru again. He was almost impressed. Almost.

But his smile faded as he looked the lord over once more.

His clothing was the one thing about him that just didn’t fit. Literally and figuratively. It was clear that it was made for royalty. He didn’t recognize the crest, but it sat proudly upon his shoulders to signify he was of a powerful house. The material was well made, and incredibly expensive. And the size and style told him that it was fashioned for a demon to wear. This was what an advanced youkai would don, if he had significant standing.

So how did this human get ahold of it? It did not seem likely that he had vanquished some powerful demon and taken his clothing as a trophy. He had a feeling that the answer to this question would account for this strange man’s behavior. Because if there was some hidden talent festering within this simple form that could take such a demon down, he knew he would do well to suss it out.

But the longer he looked at him, the more confident he became in his assessment. And then, absent of any threatening feature, another scenario occurred to the soldier as to how to get a youkai out of his uniform.

“Well, he is wearing nicer clothes than us, I’ll give him that.” The soldier reached forward to test the material at his collar with a smirk. Sesshoumaru did not move, only narrowed his eyes slightly and committed this face to his memory. “Those are a demon’s silks. Do they belong to your lover? Or do you just like playing dress up?”

As the last word was uttered with more force, he used both of his palms to push Sesshoumaru harshly at his shoulders.

He was slowly becoming familiar with how his new body reacted to force. It was a given that having his strength and senses reduced to nearly nothing affected the way he interpreted, and reacted. But even his muscle memory - the way his body had been trained perfectly over the years to move at its own accord, automatically and effortlessly through eons of trial and error, improvement and finally perfection - was now failing him.

His judgement was always off. He couldn’t account for the difference. He felt like he was wearing a robe made of sand while someone threw a rock at him from a close distance. If he was going to survive, he desperately needed recalibration.

He would get used to this body. It was just going to take some time. But for now, he was flat on his back, with a man on each arm to pin him down.

He gave an experimental jerk forward for good measure, to test his strength against his opponents. As expected, he wasn’t able to move much, and he was above kicking his feet. So he watched with a scowl as the lead soldier crouched over him casually.

“Those are some nice silks.” Sesshoumaru’s frown deepened when the man reached forward to touch him again. He fingered the material at his lapel as he admired the fine quality of his tailor-made garment. His mocking tone took on a harder edge as he lifted his eyes to match the death glare he was receiving. “Too nice for you. And you appear to be swimming in them.” A wicked smirk graced his battle-worn features as he determined his next course of action. “I believe they would fit me better.”

From his vantage point in the trees, off at the edge of the village, Inuyasha watched the scene unfold with a grimace. He inwardly cursed when he saw the parties begin to interact. And his demon hearing left him privy to the tense exchange.

He didn’t want to jump in too quickly. Showing his face to a soldier could blow their whole arrangement. If anyone was eager to pick a fight with a demon, it would be these guys. And then he would have to kill them. Killing soldiers beget killing more soldiers, and whipping the recently attacked town into a pitchfork wielding frenzy. Not only would they be forced to sleep outside, they would have to run. Or kill. Probably both.

And he could do fine if it was just him. God knows he’d been through all this before. But the rest of his pack couldn’t move as fast; couldn’t handle the cold. No, the best thing to do was let Sesshoumaru handle this on his own. Inuyasha sighed, and continued to watch.

When they pinned him to the ground, he tensed. And when they began to tear the haori off of his subdued brother, his claws twitched at his side.

He nearly leapt from his branch to take on all three of them. But he held back.

No punches had been thrown yet. No swords had been drawn. And if the price to be paid for his condescending demeanor was to get his shirt stolen, Inuyasha figured he could live with the guilt of remaining put. For now.

Sesshoumaru started it. And he didn’t feel too great about racing down to help his brother bully some humans who were basically minding their own business. He had told him several times before, but if his brother needed to learn the hard way, then that was fine with him.

He watched on intently to see how far this was going to go, and said a prayer in his head that the men would just take their prize and leave.

When his haori was untucked, the man on his left released his arm so that they could pull down his sleeve. As soon as released, Sesshoumaru took the opportunity to land one good punch in the lead soldier’s face. He was able to knock him slightly off balance, but the soldier didn’t fall. He didn’t have much room to wind up, so the force behind the hit was lacking. He more caught him off guard than anything else.

But he did connect, and the soldier became furious at the perceived lucky shot. But before he could retaliate, the man at his left regained control of his arm and twisted it violently.

The pained yelp that reached Inuyasha’s ears was nothing he had ever heard from his brother before. Even when he had taken his arm, all he seemed to get was an angry roar for his trouble. But when the lead guy used his boot to stomp harshly on his offending limb, the cracking sound that followed made his stomach turn.

He prepared himself to leap as he watched them remove the shirt the rest of the way without further resistance. Sesshoumaru didn’t make another sound, but his face was scrunched up in obvious pain.

While he continued to watch on anxiously, something kept Inuyasha’s feet from leaving his perch.

The man held up his new acquisition proudly, admiring the garment and judging the size against his own frame. The other two had released their captor; who rose to a seated position, but only to better cradle and prod his damaged elbow.

They kept him in their periphery, but no longer considered him a threat. Not that they had to begin with. The laughing and boasting resumed, but now he was the subject of their mockery.

When the man threw the silk over his shoulder and made to leave, Inuyasha exhaled in relief. It was over. But he found he celebrated too soon.

As the three began to walk away, on to the marketplace as intended, the leader stopped.

He turned and walked back to Sesshoumaru when he noticed him begin to stand. And once on his feet, he was taken right back off them. A forceful blow to his mouth had his back hit the earth once again.

This time, Inuyasha finally jumped. But by the time he reached the clearing, the men were already on their way. Their crude voices could be heard as they merrily sauntered off, but Inuyasha waited until they were out of sight before he finally approached his fallen brother.

He had resumed his seated position, but was making no move to stand. Inuyasha grimaced when Sesshoumaru turned his head to spit blood past his lips with a disgusted look on his face. The copper in the air was strong, and upon closer inspection, the hanyou could see the split that ran down the center of both lips.

Sesshoumaru still hadn’t acknowledged him when he finally deigned to speak.

“Thanks for your help,” he accused bitterly. Inuyasha frowned.

He reckoned that had he helped him, Sesshoumaru would have resented him stepping in. Sesshoumaru didn’t need help. And even if he did, he certainly didn’t want it.

To offer assistance was to imply weakness. And the stubborn bastard would rather get thrashed around or even die before admitting he needed aid. Especially from someone like him.

And normally, that wouldn’t have mattered. Inuyasha didn’t listen to his brother, and even against all protests, he would pitch in when he felt he needed to. If anything, to only piss the fucker off.

But it was different this time.

Sure, he was weaker than he had ever been. More vulnerable than he had ever seen him. But he would survive. He would have been there in an instant if the men had drawn their swords, or even handed down a more vicious beating. But from what he’d witnessed, the whole encounter seemed pretty justified. Maybe even merciful.

As he watched the scene play out, and flexed his claws indecisively, a montage ran through Inuyasha’s mind.

Insults and beatdowns. Tetsusaiga and Kara and the Unmother. Hell, even how he’d treated his real mother when she was alive. This wasn’t even close to penance.

He would help him find his brat, because it was the honorable thing to do. And he would even be gracious enough not to engage in turnabout now that he was the stronger one. But he would not be there to pull him out of every scrap of his own making. Unless it somehow benefited the rest of the pack.

Because Sesshoumaru would never do that for him. Had never, even when he was a child and desperately needed it.

Nope. Sesshoumaru had never considered him his brother, so he wouldn’t be. Inuyasha was duty bound; had a familial obligation. Beyond that, he was just a busy guy with too much on his plate at the moment.

Perhaps some turnabout was in order.

“Come on,” Inuyasha replied dismissively. Sesshoumaru lifted his gaze to find his brother looking down the path that would lead them back to the inn. Watched him scent the air, with mounting envy and longing. “Let’s go.”

They retrieved Kirara and travelled back in silence. Sesshoumaru still had an under layer, luckily. It protected Inuyasha’s gaze as much as it protected its wearer from the rapidly chilling cold.

The sun had just gone down, and the temperature along with it. By the time they reached the inn, it was very dark.

Inuyasha was relieved to scent his packmates in the wind, with one notable absence. When asked of Miroku’s whereabouts, Sango rolled her eyes and informed him that the monk was off ‘investigating a lead’ with a young woman in the village.

Kagome ran outside to welcome them back, but her relief turned to horror when she took in Sesshoumaru’s mangled appearance.

He had blood on his undershirt, and all over his mouth.

“Oh my god! What happened? Where you attacked by a demon?” Kagome stepped closer to inspect, but without making eye contact, he brushed moodily past the women and went inside to find their room.

“What happened?” Kagome demanded. The hanyou averted his eyes and shrugged.

“He got into a little scuffle. It’s no big deal.”

“No big deal?” she asked incredulously. “What happened to his shirt?”

He began to walk past her, unwilling to feel guilt. He stood by his decision, and she didn’t need to know the specifics.

“He started a fight with the wrong guys, is all.”

Even Sango picked up on his evasive behavior, but she opted to remain silent. Kagome was becoming irritated.

“And where were you?” she asked his retreating form, causing him to halt.

“I couldn’t enter the village,” he reminded her. “I was waiting for him.”

But it sounded strangely convenient. Kagome knew justification when she heard it. She crossed her arms impatiently over her chest.

“Did you see it happen?”

At his silence, she grew angrier.

“Inuyasha! What were you thinking?” she chided. But Inuyasha felt more put out than ashamed. He fought the urge to roll his eyes as she rounded on him. “I know you two don’t get along, but he needs our protection right now. He’s got a new body, and poor social skills-”

“What he’s got is a smart mouth and a shitty attitude!” His sudden outburst took her by surprise. “We aren’t always going to be there for him, Kagome. Protection is the last thing he needs right now.”

And this argument was the last thing he needed. He had a long night ahead of him; traveling in the dark and scouring the land while the rest of them slept. All for that bastard, by the way. He was in no mood for a lecture.

But Kagome didn’t like his answer. She was worried Inuyasha might take advantage of his brother’s predicament eventually and dish out some cruel, if not undeserved, payback. But they were on the road now. They had to work together, not against each other. This was a bad way to start the mission.

She sharpened her glare as she moved her hands to her hips.

“Oh yeah? Well, what does he need then?”

To be left out to dry? To get kicked out of the pack? A sharp fucking stick to slay enemies on his own? She did not like the many options their alpha may be considering at the moment.

But when he let out an amused scoff, her defenses dropped a smidge.

“He just got it.”

The cocky grin he flashed was unappreciated. And in her exasperation, all she could do was go chase after her new patient. Her supplies were in the room, and she hoped he would be too.

Inuyasha began to follow after her, but Sango’s hand grabbing his stopped him in his tracks.

When he turned to see her smiling at him goofily, he returned it and allowed her to pull him back to her.

They were still getting used to the new dynamic between them. With all the chaos going on, they hardly had time to start this new relationship out properly. It had only been last night that they’d confessed their feelings, and they departed for their mission the very next morning.

And then there was the matter of privacy. It was hard to find a spare moment alone. And now Inuyasha would be spending every night for the foreseeable future traveling ahead while she slept; it looked like they were going to have to squeeze in little moments together whenever they could.

They were going to be busy looking for Rin. And between Kagome and Miroku, neither felt comfortable even displaying the smallest gestures of affection toward each other. Flaunting their relationship in front of them was not a classy move.

It was just a shame. He had been dreaming of this for years. And now that he had her, he didn’t even get to see her. She deserved better. She deserved his full attention.

As she pulled him to her lips, all he could do was wish that the innkeeper had given them a room of their own.

The kiss became more heated as they ran their hands all over each other. Finally, they pulled apart panting.

“Come with me. I need to show you something.” She began to lead him away from the inn, but he dug in his heels.

“What is it?”

The coy smile she gave him sent a thrill through his spine. Her hand never released his as she moved closer to him again.

“I found a nice little spot, and I think you need to see it.” She pressed forward and he surrendered to another kiss.

“It’s cozy, and secluded. And private.” When she smiled at him suggestively, a grin crept up his lips.

“Right now? What about the others?” Not that he really cared at the moment, but he felt obligated to ask.

“Kagome will take care of Sesshoumaru. So I can take care of you.” Yes, she was busy playing nurse to his brother at the moment, and it wasn’t like he could go in the room anyway. But he was supposed to be getting ready to leave. He had a long night ahead of him.

When she rubbed him through his clothing, however, all the fight left him. He groaned lowly.

They’d stayed up very late last night talking. Well, mostly talking. He didn’t want to go any further before they’d broken the news to the others.

But now they were in the clear. Nothing was stopping them from exploring this relationship to the fullest. Except time and opportunity.

“You’re going to be gone a lot, and lodging is going to get pretty cramped.” He closed his eyes in pleasure as she continued to touch him.

“We are going to have to get very creative, and flexible with our time together.” When she stopped, he opened his eyes to take in her lustful gaze.

“So before you go, I need you to come with me. I’m tired of waiting.”

This time, when she led the way, he followed.

* * *

They hadn’t gotten much by way of information from the townspeople.

When the three had gone to visit the damaged home, the lord wasn’t there. Apparently, he had assembled a few allies and taken off after his attackers. But any able body from the village was put to work restoring his property. Others had their own huts to see to.

They got enough information to know that this was not the work of the tiger clan.

They’d conducted several interviews, and took notes on every demon sighting, or rumor that had spread. So far, nothing helpful had been acquired.

But the word was out. If any had news of tigers or a little girl traveling with demons, they were to be notified at all costs.

They were also informed helpfully that most of the villagers who were not aiding in restoring the lord’s home were recouping across town. The attack left many injured or displaced, and the more fortunate residents offered their homes as havens until they were back on their feet.

This news initiated a change of plans. They were going to stay an extra day to meet the rest of the town, and that meant Inuyasha would have time to cover more ground while they networked.

Another useful piece of information Sango obtained was that one of the soldiers that had been killed lived alone in his hut, and had no family. After a bit of exploring, she had tracked it down, and was pleased to find it was thus far unclaimed.

She didn’t feel guilty keeping this news from the others. The inn was comfortable enough, and the old woman had even been kind enough to set them up with an extra room. So she saw no harm in whisking Inuyasha away for a short while so that they could spend some time together before he left them.

Finally, they had been free to unleash their pent up desires. After a vigorous love making session, they were pleased to confirm that they were indeed sexually compatible.

Sweaty and naked on a dead soldier’s futon, Sango curled up to her new lover. Smiling in contentment, he wrapped an arm around her and gathered her close; both wondering if they had time for one more round before he needed to go.

“So, what happened to Sesshoumaru?”

He smirked as he recalled the earlier events.

“He mouthed off to a few soldiers and got his ass beat.” Crinkling her brow, Sango looked up to him.

“Why would he do that?”

Inuyasha gave an indifferent shrug as he continued combing his claws through her tangled strands.

“He’s a jerk. Why else?”

The woman at his side smirked as she smoothed her hand across his chest.

“Yeah, he is a pretty big jerk, isn’t he?”

She’d been willing to overlook it when she was trying to get some action, but his treatment of her in the hot spring was a bucket of cold water. She was sure glad that they didn’t end up going through with it.

“Oh, the worst!” he agreed emphatically. “He’s always been like that. And it’s so perfect watching him eat shit for once. With how he treats everyone, I can’t think of any fitter punishment.”

Nope. As far as Inuyasha was concerned, this whole thing couldn’t have happened to anyone more deserving. His faith in the Kami and karma had been restored. “Just too bad his kid got taken. If it weren’t for that, I'd just be sittin’ back to enjoy the show.”

He put his free hand behind his head as he looked dreamily up to the ceiling. Sango propped herself up to look over at him curiously.

“Really? If it weren’t for Rin, you wouldn’t be helping him?”

“Fuck no! His high and mighty ass has nothing but disdain for everyone. Especially me. If you only knew some of the shit he’s done.” His features turned dark as he appeared to be recalling something, before shaking it from his brain. “No, he is a world class cocksucker who’d never lift a finger to help no one ‘cept for himself.”

“And Rin,” she supplied helpfully, frowning a bit as his assessment. Inuyasha scowled.

“Yeah, and I don’t even know what that’s all about. He’s a fucking creep.” She knew the brothers’ relationship was complicated, and she was not privy to all of the specifics. But it had looked for a moment like they had formed some sort of truce.

She settled back into his side and smiled as something occurred to her.

“Oh, he’s not all bad. I mean, we wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for him.”

Inuyasha scoffed, and then smirked down at her.

“No, we’d be back home having a marathon fuckfest instead of on this stupid mission.”

She smiled into him again when he squeezed her tighter, before shaking her head.

“No. I mean, you and I wouldn’t even be in a relationship if it wasn’t for him. Not yet at least.”

Inuyasha’s jovial attitude was gone in an instant, and he looked down at her dubiously.

“What do you mean?”

Realizing her slip, she chided herself and smiled sheepishly.

“Shit. He asked me not to say anything.”

He didn’t like the idea of she and his brother having secrets. Unwilling to let it go, he scooted up in a sitting position, forcing her to do the same.

“Say what?” he demanded with a scowl, and her cheeks reddened at being caught.

They’d more or less been over what had occurred between them in the hot spring. The part she left out was Sesshoumaru’s bean-spilling regarding Inuyasha’s feelings.

His request for discretion didn’t make sense to her, but she easily agreed. She didn’t think it was important how she found out, as long as they both wanted the same thing.

But there was no point in lying now. She pulled the blanket up to her chest for cover as she began her confession.

“Well, the other night, in the hot spring, we he and I almost...”

Her blush deepened furiously, and Inuyasha became incredibly uncomfortable. It wasn’t something he wanted to think about.

“Yeah, what about it? What did he do?” As possibilities bloomed in his mind, he began to panic. “Oh, tell me you didn’t-”

“No!” she assured him. “No, we didn’t.”

He exhaled visibly in relief. They hadn’t gotten into the nitty gritty about their quick rendezvous in the spring, but he believed both she and Sesshoumaru when they insisted they didn’t fuck.

Of course, other things could have occurred. It seemed unlikely that the two would be naked together without something going on. He was afraid of that answer, so he decided it was best not to ask.

But the way she was acting now made him nervous.

“We were about to,” she admitted, but he already knew that. He tried not to react too much to the distasteful thought. “Then, I don’t know, he just stopped. He changed his mind, or something. And he told me I should talk to you.”

She didn’t know what ended up turning him off in those final seconds. He alluded to it being her appearance, but he could have just been being defensive. She chose not to analyze it beyond that.

“He did?” Now he looked perplexed. Something didn’t sound right. But Sango nodded.

“Yeah. He told me that you wanted me, and if I wanted you too, I should go talk to you. So that’s what I did.” She smiled happily and kissed him on the cheek, but his concern remained.

“So when you came to me after that, it was because of him?”

“I had no idea you felt that way. I mean, I thought you wanted Kagome, so I didn’t even consider us as a possibility. But then when he said that... things changed. I wasn’t even going to go through with it, because I was afraid of hurting Kagome. But he kind of talked me into it.”

Puppy ears flattened to his head and he deflated a bit.

“Aw, shit.”

“What?”

For a moment, he began to feel guilty. He thought he was being gracious by taking his brother in, and helping him with his cause; even though the way he behaved proved that he still wanted nothing to do with him beyond that.

He was being a pain in the ass, and Inuyasha had decided not to let Sesshoumaru’s toxic personality infect his pack.

But something like this was so terribly out of character for him. Was it possible that he was trying to get along better? Maybe humanity had blunted his edges a bit.

It would have been a pretty nice thing to do for him, considering what he got out of the deal. And it made him feel kinda shitty for letting him get beat up just now.

But there was another possibility.

“We gotta go. I need to talk to him before I leave.”

The hanyou stood and began putting on his clothes. Sango followed suit.

“Why?”

“Cuz what’s in it for him if you and me are together?”

She thought about it for a few seconds. What did Sesshoumaru have to gain from setting them up?

“Nothing, I’d imagine.”

“Exactly. So then why would he do that?” He finished putting on his fire rat robe and moved to grab his sword.

“Maybe he just wanted to help.”

She sat down to get into her boots while he waited for her; clearly distracted by his troubled thoughts.

“The reason he got into that hot spring in the first place was to hurt me. He knew that I wanted you, so he was going to take you from me. That’s what Sesshoumaru does.”

“But he didn’t,” she reminded him.

“I know. So that means that unless he’s got some evil plan I’m not seeing, he actually did something nice for me. It just doesn’t fit.”

“We’re helping him get Rin back. Maybe he wanted to return a favor,” she rationalized. “Remember when Kagome saved his life, and he demanded that he pay her back somehow?”

“By not killing us?” he scoffed sarcastically. “Yeah, nice favor.”

“I appreciate it.” The unamused glare he sent her had her smiling even wider.

“He couldn’t even if he wanted to now anyway.” It was true. And the thought had Inuyasha wondering if his brother had pulled a fast one. If he wasn’t even able to kill them, it wasn’t a super great favor to promise them that he wouldn’t.

“He might change back someday. Nobody knows what happened to him. And then, you’ll be glad you got that favor.” He supposed that was the point, wasn’t it? Kagome wasn’t stupid. She knew the risks of bringing him in the group. As long as he was human, none of them were in danger. Once – _if_ – he ever got to be demon again, was a different matter completely.

“I guess.” He watched as Sango strapped on the rest of her armor, and couldn’t help his thoughts from returning to the hot spring.

“Speaking of favors, I need one from you.” With a mischievous grin, she sauntered back over to him. Now fully dressed, she slid her arms around his waist.

“You think we have time to go again?” she asked, before pulling him into a kiss.

He was happy to indulge, but it was clear his mind was elsewhere.

“No, not that.” She was confused when he released her. He looked to be arranging his thoughts, so she waited patiently for him to speak.

“Look, whatever is going on with Sesshoumaru now, I was right when I said he’s done a lot of bad things to me in the past. One of the worst was when he fucked a girl I had been seeing. My first, actually.” He eyed her cautiously, judging her reaction. He knew that bringing up exes was a dangerous move. He’d just gotten Sango, and he didn’t want to blow it by reminding her that he had been with anyone else. But Sango was a grown woman, and Kara was a long time ago. At least that was one ex he was certain he’d never see again. To his great relief, the woman beside him didn’t seem upset, so he pressed on.

“Our rivalry didn’t start with swords. That’s just the latest trophy he’s tried to claim for himself. Ever since I can remember, he has found the thing I wanted most in the world and taken it; just to prove that he can. It’s like a fucking game to him.” He started getting angry as old wounds resurfaced, but when she looked at him with mounting concern, he forced himself to calm.

“So when he found out I wanted you, that’s what he was doing. He was gonna show me once again than everything I have can be his in an instant. That everything I have is only mine because he allows me to keep it.”

“So you think I’m only with you because he _allowed_ you to have me?” The thought of being some sort of prize did not sit well. Inuyasha could sense her growing irritation, and became defensive.

“You woulda fucked him in that hot spring if he didn’t stop you, right?” Her eyes flew wide at the crude accusation, until she realized he was right. She thought she was making a point to Miroku when she announced she was going off with Sesshoumaru, but now she was really wishing she hadn’t made such a scene of it. Now everyone knew, and she really wished they didn’t.

Her silence relayed her shame in that moment, and Inuyasha immediately regretted bringing it up.

“Look, I ain’t tryin’ to make you feel bad about that. I never told you how I felt and Sesshoumaru is a master manipulator. I don’t know why he sent you to me, I just know I’m glad that he did.” When he gathered her back into his arms, she let him.

Though both could sense the new tense air in the room. It was a noticeable shift from the lightness that had been there a few minutes prior. But there was a reason Inuyasha brought all this up. He pushed her away slightly, but kept a firm grip on her upper arms.

“But if he changes his mind... I just gotta know that if this turns out to be another sick game to him, and he’s just dangling my happiness in front of me just to make it hurt twice as bad when he takes you...”

She saw his determination; saw him struggling for the right words. It really was Inuyasha in a nutshell.

“Promise me that you’ll never sleep with him. I need to know that if he suddenly decides he wants you again, that you aren’t going to do it.”

And there it was. The crux of his insecurities, all laid bare at her feet.

It was hard enough growing up hanyou. Living life as an _other;_ something undesired and unacceptable to both races he was born from. A pariah.

But the hardest part of it all was living in the shadow of what many believed was the most powerful youkai of all time. He never expected to be better than him. He’d long ago given up trying. And he could have lived with the knowledge of his brother’s superiority, if it was just that.

But even though he’d denounced him as kin, Sesshoumaru always seemed to make time for popping in and out of his life if only to remind him of what he couldn’t have. What he felt he shouldn’t have.

No, his brother would never stop beating it into him. Never stop taking what he wanted. He doubted being human would put an end to his torment.

He always found a way. And it didn’t help any that the women in his life seemed more than willing to help him prove his point. He loved Sango, but he’d already decided; if she was going to do something like that to him, he couldn’t be with her. He couldn't take the pain. He couldn’t let that bastard win again.

“If he wanted to hurt me right now, taking you from me would be the worst thing he could do. He knows that. And if I lose you to him, even for just a quick fuck, I can’t handle it.” He was still holding her; still looking into her eyes with that ferocity she found so captivating. “So please, promise me that you will never go to him.”

Sesshoumaru couldn’t kill him, but it was only on technicality. And now that he couldn’t, Inuyasha was more than certain he would be looking for the most effective ways to do some non-lethal damage.

He’d rather he just bat him around a bit, and he was sure Sesshoumaru preferred that too. But in his current state, he was going to need to make do.

“I promise. Inuyasha, you are the one that I want.” A gentle hand on his caused his grip to slacken, and he was pleased to find acceptance where he’d worried there would be pity. “Your brother might be handsome, but you’re right. He’s a fucking jerk. And I don’t want to be with someone like that. Even for a ‘quick fuck.’ Okay?”

He couldn’t help but smile at her assessment.

“Nothing he can say will ever take me away from you. But I really don’t think he wants that. You know him better than I do, but it seemed to me like he was just trying to help.”

And that was another thing that bothered him. If Sesshoumaru wasn’t trying to hurt him, then it could mean that he was actually trying to help.

It seemed unlikely, if the past was anything to go by. But then, he never would have asked for his help in the past either, and here they were. Sesshoumaru didn’t know how to be in debt. Maybe this was a clumsy attempt at paying him back for helping find Rin.

“You told him you wanted me, and I told him I wanted to get over Miroku... He had the inside information to solve both our problems and he did.” Sango sure seemed to think he had helped them anyway. But Inuyasha didn’t know which option was worse. For if he really did help bring the two of them together, it made _him_ the jerk for not lending a hand in the market earlier. It sure took the fun out of watching him suffer all of a sudden.

“I’m sorry for what he did to you. I can see why something like that would make you distrustful of him. But that was a long time ago. Maybe he’s changed. Maybe humanity has softened him up a little bit.”

“Feh, very little.” His moody demeanor shifted when she smiled at him, and pulled him into one more kiss. He continued to hold her a moment after they parted.

“So, are you only with me because you wanted to get over Miroku?” he inferred, hating his insecurity. She held his gaze meaningfully to reassure him.

“I always wanted more,” she admitted. “I just didn’t think there was anyone out there who wanted me like that.” He took on a sympathetic air, and immediately felt guilty for keeping his feelings hidden for so long. Maybe if he told her sooner, she wouldn’t have been hurting all this time. “And I know how much it hurts to get cheated on. I will never do that to you.”

Yes, if anyone understood the pains of infidelity, it was Sango. He realized then that she would be the last person to ever commit such a sin herself, knowing the hurt it caused.

One more affirming kiss later, they were finally ready to go. With a last glance around to ensure they had everything, he moved for the exit.

“Alright, let's go see if Kagome’s got that bastard patched up yet. I kinda feel bad for leaving her alone with him for this long.”

* * *

After a quick trip to the girls’ room to retrieve her yellow pack, Kagome was graciously granted access to where the guys would be sleeping. She entered to find Sesshoumaru already cross-legged beside the low table his room was furnished with. With a cushion placed readily at his side, he seemed to be expecting her. Kagome sighed.

And without a word, she folded her knees beneath her upon the offered padding, and simply began removing her items. She was trying to push down her annoyance as she pulled out a stack of cloths and placed them down in front of her. She’d hoped they would be at least a few days into their journey before she needed to use these.

She peeled the top square off of the pile, and after unfolding it, used it to rest her small handful of icicles on top of.

Sesshoumaru watched with guarded interest as she pulled out a water bottle next, and raised his brow slightly when she placed it in front of him with a thud, perhaps more forcefully than was necessary. But his attention quickly drew to the large bottle of pills now in her hand.

Kagome winced internally as she recalled the day her ligament had torn. At least she had been in the future where she could get the proper care. She just couldn’t believe that she’d been able to survive so many vicious battles during her time in the past, yet something as simple as a soccer game at school was enough to put her out of commission for weeks.

She was a little foggy after that. The insanely strong medication had done wonders for her pain, but in return she was forced to live the rest of her recovery in a haze. She could see why people could get so addicted to the stuff, and was grateful that she never seemed to develop a dependence. She was relieved when she could walk again without them, and eagerly set them aside.

But she didn’t get rid of them. She knew she was supposed to, but in a world of terrible occurrences, she was desperate to pluck a silver lining from the darkness. She decided that the one good thing to come from her injury was that she could now offer her packmates something stronger than aspirin for their pain. They called it her magic potion.

Sesshoumaru eyed them skeptically when she handed him two large white pills, and finally accepted after a brief explanation.

“Magic herbs? You made them?” he asked, but popped them into his mouth before she could answer.

“No, but I- No!” The rest of her explanation was cut short at the unmistakable crunching sound. “You aren’t supposed to chew them.”

Oh, well. At least it would probably work faster now. But the look on his face told her he did not appreciate the taste. He finally picked up his water bottle and took a cleansing swing.

She used this distraction to pull the sleeve of his juban back, revealing a swollen and slightly discolored left elbow. She gently poked and prodded to assess the damage. After a moment of that, she turned back to her gathered ice.

She wrapped up the ice in the cloth and bashed it against the table until it could rest in there securely. When she placed it in the crook of his bent arm, she ignored his slight flinch.

“Keep that there while I make you a sling,” she ordered, and his other hand moved to replace hers on the bag. But before she got started, she emptied the rest of the water onto another fresh cloth.

She’d considered boiling some, but decided that it wasn’t really necessary. He allowed her to wipe up the blood that had run down his chin and neck, before folding the cloth in on itself. Gently, she dabbed the clean side of her rag against his lips. The split was puffy and angry, but seemed to have stopped bleeding.

“You want to talk about it?” she asked while still cleaning him, after a long moment of silence had passed.

More silence was her answer, and he did not make eye contact.

“Didn’t think so. We will get your shirt back; they can’t have gone far.” They still had another day here at least, so they could look for it while they were asking around about tigers.

“It is of no consequence.” His soft, almost defeated tone startled her somewhat, but only strengthened her resolve.

“We will find you something else to wear in the meantime. I can pick you up a hankimono at the market tomorrow.”

This time, she would receive no answer. But as she continued to tend to his bloody lips, she couldn’t help but muse aloud.

“You know, we have a saying in my time. ‘Don’t let your mouth write checks that your butt can’t cash.’”

Hints of confusion peppered themselves into his glare as his eyes cut unamusedly to hers. But though he didn’t fully understand her language, he had a pretty good feeling he was getting the gist of it.

“I know you are used to saying whatever want to people. But until you get your strength back, I suggest keeping your comments to yourself. Especially when you are outnumbered.”

With a shrug, he turned his head from her, forcing her to lean a bit closer.

“I spoke no untruths.”

“Hm. That may be, but it won’t get you any less beat up.”

“I don’t care.” His lack of concern caused her to frown.

“Then do it for my sake. You are going to run me out of first aid supplies at this rate. I’d rather save them for when we really need them.”

When she once again got no response, she removed her rag from him with a frustrated huff.

“Actually, no. I’m going to have to insist.” He turned back to her in time to see her toss the stained rag down on the table. “When you go around starting useless fights, you put us all in danger. You never know what a man may be capable of. As alpha, it is Inuyasha’s responsibility to see all of us safe. I won’t have you putting him at risk with your unfortunate mouth. Do you understand?”

He seemed to consider her for a moment, but she was relieved when he answered with a single nod. She thought she did well at hiding her surprise.

Next, she pulled out a tube of something. She squeezed the thick goo onto her finger tip, and he sat in mild surprise as she tenderly smeared it on his lips.

But before he could protest, she was done.

“Try not to lick that off. It doesn’t taste very good.”

He tested the texture by pursing lightly, so he was distracted as she began assessing him where he sat.

“I’m gonna need to remove your juban to see to that arm.”

If the request made her uncomfortable, she didn’t show it. After their time in the cave together, he supposed that it shouldn’t.

When he placed his ice on the table, she took it as permission to continue. She tried her best not to be awkward as she carefully relieved him of his remaining garment.

“You are becoming quite practiced at undressing me.”

She stiffened at the suggestive comment, but relaxed when she saw the corners of his damaged lips lift ever so slightly. It was the first time he had mentioned the incident in the cave since they had left it. At least the first time with her.

Both had been quite satisfied with acting like it had never happened, especially pertaining to certain parts. But she would be lying if she said that images of Sesshoumaru’s naked body beneath her hadn’t attempted to creep into her conscious more than once. It was work to keep those memories at bay.

She was pleased he had seemed to come to terms with it. At least he seemed comfortable enough to joke about it. She smiled back.

“I know. What will people say?”

She missed the way his brow drew together as she was making quick work of fastening another cloth into a sling.

“What people?”

She shrugged, more focused on getting her knots just right than explaining it to him.

“I don’t know. It was just a joke.”

He remembered how she made jokes to lessen tension in the past. She had done the very same thing when they were together in her sleeping bag. Was their proximity once again making her uncomfortable?

“Oh.” But his reply seemed distant. In fact, he was beginning to notice that he felt strange. It was as if his mind was attempting to separate from his body, leaving him in a mildly detached state. It was making it difficult to think clearly.

But when she threw her homemade sling over his head and used it to cradle his arm, he remembered the potion she had given him. His arm, which had been killing him ever since it had been damaged, had almost ceased hurting. Even while she handled it, he found the pain was mostly gone.

She had warned him he might feel a little loopy, but it would be worth it in easing his discomfort. So far, he was inclined to agree.

She continued to adjust him in it, while doing her best to ignore the hard muscle of his chest that was now bare to her view. When her arms accidentally brushed against his toned form, those images of him in the cave threatened to consume her traitorous thoughts.

“They have, like, a bathhouse type thing here,” she began, doing her best to keep her tone even. “I'm recommending everyone take advantage of it while we can. You can let me know if you need some help washing your hair, you know, with your arm and all.”

She tried not to sound too embarrassed at her offer. It really should be Miroku’s duty to assist his fellow male, but the monk had been increasingly unreliable as of late. Besides, it wasn’t as if they hadn’t seen each other naked already.

He seemed startled by her suggestion however, if not a little offended.

“I will manage,” he assured her darkly, only frustrating her with his stubbornness. Inuyasha was just the same way; never willing to accept help when he needed it.

“You really think you can do it with one...”

Stupid. She was so stupid.

Of course he could take care of himself one-handed. He’d been doing it for years.

He saw that she caught herself, but decided to answer her anyway.

“Positive.”

No other comment was made on the matter as she finished. Satisfied with her handiwork, she released him to assess his comfort level on his own.

But something else had been bothering her, and she figured that now that she had him alone, she might as well ask him.

“So,” she began casually. “What did you say to Sango in the hot spring?”

He had told her before that it was none of her business. And for the most part, he was right. But now that she’d done him a solid, and now that the pills she had given him were appearing to take effect, she thought he might perhaps indulge her.

“That if she desired the attentions of a male, she should proposition Inuyasha.” He wasn’t looking at her as he flexed his fingers experimentally in the sling.

“Why would you do such a thing?”

He shrugged his good shoulder, causing the woman to scowl.

“You did it to mess with me?”

“What?” Her bold accusation had finally earned his attention

“To punish me, for demanding you pull your own weight. You are very petty, Sesshoumaru.”

His eyes narrowed dangerously at her audacity.

“Is that so? If you want to see petty, perhaps you should find a mirror.”

“Excuse me?”

She didn’t think she’d ever get used to his rudeness. Even when people were trying to help him, he couldn’t seem to find it in him to display the smallest hints of gratitude. Here she was, tending to his injuries – again – and once again, he seemed to go out of his way to insult her. She didn’t know why she expected any different.

“Listen to yourself, miko. You assume that my actions were intended to harm you? They had nothing to do with you.” She turned her head away from him, but it didn’t stop his assault. It seemed that painkillers made the Western Lord much less reticent. “Inuyasha informed me he desired the slayer. It would appear that she desires him in return. None of it has anything to do with you.” He offered a condemning side-eye. “And you accuse This One of vanity.”

But she didn’t want to hear it. That wasn’t the point. This was all his fault, not hers.

She couldn’t bear to look at him; turning away from his angered, accusatory glare to begin cleaning up the remainder of the supplies.

“Why do you care? You never showed any interest in your brother’s happiness before.”

“And it appears you only had interest when it served you as well.” Supplies forgotten; he had won her attention once more. Her obvious incredulity did nothing to temper his biting assessment of her, and like the predator he was, he zeroed in. “You are a hypocrite. You claim to want the best for your pack. But when the wants of others do not align with your own, your interest wanes down to nothing.”

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing! No one ever spoke to her that way.

She was the most selfless person in this whole group. Everything she did was for the benefit of others. Even her life’s mission was to save the world at the expense of her own happiness.

He was wrong.

“He does not want you. He told me so. Can you accept that, miko?”

He was wrong. She wanted to tell him that. Wanted to scream how off base he really was. But she couldn’t find the words.

He was the selfish one. He was the one who used people. All she ever wanted was for her friends to be happy.

So why couldn’t she articulate that to him?

He was very good with his words; one would have to be when he used them so sparingly. That was the only reason he was always able to win his arguments.

He lifted his nose haughtily, somehow looking admonishing and regal with his arm hanging helplessly in a sling.

“The matters of humans and half-breeds are of no interest to This One. Perhaps that you are no longer distracted by your misplaced feelings toward that whelp, you can focus on finding Rin instead.”

The statement managed to make her even angrier.

They were here for Rin. Here for him. And he seemed all too willing to cut them all down despite that fact.

He just came into their nice, cozy little lives and after a manner of days, claimed to know how all of their hearts and minds worked perfectly. He thought he knew them so well.

He didn’t know anything.

Words still escaped her as she felt her anger grow. In the absence of anything coherent to say, she only managed to stare at him, completely aghast.

Several long seconds drawled on, and the sight of him only made her more upset.

He seemed confused, then annoyed at the fact that she was making him wait for her reply. He was done waiting.

“May I put on my clothes now, or do you prefer to admire my form a bit longer?”

Finally, she snapped. That cocky little-

“You know what? If you think you’re so hot, why don’t you go fuck yourself? You seem to be pretty good at it.”

Finally. He seemed relieved, if not slightly amused to at last garner a reaction.

He wasn’t entirely pleased that it referenced that night in the cave again, however.

That wasn’t the first time she had deemed fit to mock him regarding his momentary lapse in control, when he had believed her to be sleeping.

She seemed to like to poke him for that particular moment of weakness she had been privy to. But he wasn’t a timid little creature like her. Such things did not embarrass him. Her on the other hand...

“Hn. Unlike you. Do you require my assistance once more?”

He was of course referring to their time in the cave. He actually was quite aware of her proficiency in self-stimulation. But she didn’t need to know how he knew that.

He smirked as he saw the realization begin to dawn on her as to what he was referring, and relished as she tried her best not to appear mortified.

She succeeded, somewhat, and managed to gather herself.

“Hey. You did that on your own. I didn’t ask for that.”

“Not with your words,” he conceded. “You begged for it with every press of your hips, and each whine from your throat. Each time you abused your lip, and fluttered your eyes. Oh, yes. You more than asked.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. He wasn’t wrong, but he wasn’t right either. She was tired of letting him get the better of her.

She gathered her strength and raised a suspicious eyebrow.

“You sure seemed to be paying pretty close attention.”

“Indeed. You stripped us both bare, and pressed yourself to me.”

He couldn’t explain it, but he had been pleased once she began participating in this little war of words with him. Suddenly, however, he felt defensive. He had no need to explain himself.

“I saved your life.”

And with that, she had managed to temper his assault. He couldn’t exactly dispute that, and frowned at the reminder.

“Yes. You did.” Damn. Why did that inconvenient fact seem to always elude his memory? Perhaps because he almost never found himself in the position of requiring aid. The last time he could remember doing so was when Rin...

Rin.

That was another fact that was annoyingly true. Not only had this woman saved his life, but now she had put her life on hold to help find his ward. Even enlisted the aid of her pack in the endeavor.

To make matters worse, here she was currently tending to his wounds even as they fought.

Why did he constantly feel the need to go to blows with this woman? After all she had done, could he not simply hold his tongue?

It seemed the more she tried to help, the more he was inclined to prove he didn’t want it. At the very least, it seemed to distract him from his discomfort. He would rather be hated than pitied.

“And in return, you made me promise not to kill you. Or your friends. Probably the wisest decision you ever made. Not that it was much of a competition.”

But the snide remark did not have its intended effect. The short, sarcastic laugh took him completely by surprise, and he raised an eyebrow at her.

“What did you think I would do? Beg you to fuck me? You are not as desirable as you think you are.”

“Oh, no?” He grew irritated at her reaction, and even more displeased when she finally turned from him. With her focus back on gathering her medical supplies, she was being dismissive.

“Nope. In fact, I am sure I could have you any time I wanted. I just don’t want you.”

She tried to stand, but his hand on her shoulder jerked her to him roughly. He pulled her lips to his almost violently, dominating her mouth with his abused flesh.

He was still somewhat strong, but shock rendered her completely immobile. When she gasped upon the unexpected contact, he didn’t miss the opportunity to invade her mouth with his tongue, and demand her submission.

His hand on her shoulder reached for the back of her head, and forced her stunned face to remain in position as he angled himself to devour her completely.

Her short-circuiting brain had her unresponsive for several long, terrifying seconds. Shaking herself from her stupor, she finally was able to lift her hands to his chest and push.

But her resistance was unsuccessful. Even with only one hand, she was unable to move him, or herself from his iron grip.

When her lips began to move with his, she swore it was of their own accord. An automatic response to being commanded so forcefully. His tongue played with hers, and finally coaxed from its dormancy in a way that resembled more a battle than a dance.

The taste of copper was strong, but easily ignored as she focused on the warmth and comfort of his offending cavern.

She relaxed in his hold; finally relinquishing her restraint as he continued to control her aggressively. Wide, indignant eyes became hooded. And for a moment, it felt like relief to give up the fight, and allow him to guide her in his confident and insisting movements.

But it only lasted a moment. After giving in to his demand, she became unsatisfied with complacency. Defiantly she pressed forward, forcing him back in a way he had not expected as she attempted to control the kiss.

His eyes widened briefly as he was shamefully displaced by this small human woman, and he answered her by responding in kind. With angry determination, he reclaimed his place of dominance as he continued to plunder her mouth. Only to have her match his ferocity.

His lips stung where they were split, and freshly closed wounds broke open once again to resume a very light bleeding. But still, he pressed onward. He was sure it was no accident when she forced her tongue onto the wound, and applied a harsh pressure that actually had him wincing.

His mouth burned at her touch, but he refused to pull back. He had posed this challenge, and he would not concede defeat. The pain was an addictive torture from which he could not turn away.

Having her knowingly hurt him, to even be capable of such a thing was exciting. And he was enticed at the thought of this sweet little miko, who mourned the idea of causing any unnecessary pain, zeroing in on his weakness and exploiting it so beautifully.

And the fact that each painful glide of her lips against his was only further proof of their sinful digression had his heart thundering in his chest, and his blood calling for more.

She was tired of his bossy behavior, and his bratty attitude. Even from a position of weakness, thoroughly shamed and vanquished again and again, he still managed to walk around with an air of perfection. Like nothing could touch him.

He had no gratitude for their aid. He acted like he owned them. Like he owned the world. But she wasn’t going to be pushed around. She refused to obey him. She was not intimidated.

She kissed him petulantly. He didn’t scare her. She wouldn’t run.

He had her back against the edge of the table when he broke the kiss, and he leaned forward to use his good arm to swipe what remained of her medical supplies onto the floor. The unexpected action startled her, and she fought off a gasp when he cradled under her ass to lift her onto the cleared table.

Eyes were large again, and she was breathing heavily with him as he positioned himself to hover above her. He propped himself up with his one arm. And though he had one foot on the floor, his hips pressed her firmly into the low table beneath them.

Both of their chests continued to rise and fall dramatically from both the recent lack of air, and the palpable charge of excitement crackling between them.

After regarding her a moment, something finally occurred to him

“Do you not intend to stop me?”

He was sure he could get her to respond to his kiss. If their time in the cave together was any indication, the woman did indeed find him desirable. Physically, at least.

But he was more than certain that after a moment, she would come to her senses and put an end to his display before things got too far. Then again, he never expected to take it this far in the first place.

But here she was beneath him, yet making no moves to escape. He studied her face; expecting fear and disgust, but finding only impressive determination, and... something else entirely.

“Do you not intend to stop?” she asked huskily in return.

Neither said a word. His threatening, assessing gaze bored down into hers and was awestruck at what he finally recognized there. A challenge.

There was not the fear, or embarrassment, or even rage he had been expecting. She was daring him to proceed. She was calling his bluff.

And they were at a stalemate. What could he do now?

For he had also called hers. He had proven his point. She claimed not to want him; insinuated he could not have her if he so desired. It appeared that he could. But what was he to do with that information?

To simply declare her undesirable was not an option. Because with the way his stiff cock was pressing obviously into her hip, he could not convincingly claim such a thing.

What was his intent with this? He had foolishly placed himself in a lose/lose situation.

Had she denied him, he would have been proven unworthy. But allowing this...

He supposed he hadn’t expected it to come to this. He was supposed to subdue her enough to affirm her attraction, and then cruelly inform her such a thing was not desired... like he had done with the slayer. But instead of stopping himself, he allowed this indulgence to continue far beyond what was appropriate.

He should have known better. With how his body had been behaving as of late, he should not have overestimated his ability to control it. Nor underestimated her ability to arouse it. She had been doing it an awful lot lately.

But they couldn’t proceed. Could they? He’d already determined the miko an unsuitable partner, though at the moment he couldn’t remember why. He had been willing – if only briefly – to lay with the slayer to satiate his lust. Had considered finding a random human to take care of his increasing need.

So why was the miko off limits? She was a constant bane to his existence. The endless thorn in his side.

Annoying and silly and just downright strange.

But that fire, that defiance he had just witnessed urged him to continue. It drew him near. Things he thought he hated about her had suddenly become intriguing. Piqued his interest.

Maybe this was worth investigating. It would be horribly convenient. That, or perfectly disastrous.

But he couldn’t just fuck her on the table with her friends right outside. Could he?

“The medicine tastes funny.” Her unexpected declaration startled him from his thoughts, and he was grateful for the distraction. He watched her lick her lips with a displeased expression, and he actually smirked.

He didn’t need to follow suit to know she was right.

“Yes,” he agreed in slight amusement. To his surprise, she smiled back.

Her hands on his chest only rested there ambiguously. He wondered if he leaned forward, if she would push him away.

If he retreated, would she pull him back in?

There is only one way to find-

“Kagome! Are you in there with Sesshoumaru?”

Sango’s voice from outside stopped his impending descent, but he did not retreat. Neither moved, nor tore away from the other’s gaze at the interruption.

“Yes. We’re almost finished,” Kagome finally called back through the door.

Saved by the bell. It seemed this game of chicken would end in a draw. For now.

“Inuyasha is leaving. Come say goodbye.”

When she pushed up on her elbows, Sesshoumaru finally pulled back. Kagome straightened herself up on the table’s edge, simultaneously looking about at the mess they’d created.

Medical supplies were strewn across the floor, but she decided she could clean them up after seeing Inuyasha off. Noticing the tube of ointment at her feet however, she retrieved it and crossed back to her patient.

He watched as she stood before him, and squeezed another small dab onto her fingertip. She paused a moment, communicating wordlessly, and he offered no protest when she gently reapplied the medicine to his tender flesh.

The taste of him was fresh, and she recalled what it was like to feel those swollen lips on hers not a moment ago. It was a hell of a time to put them to use; they’d probably never been in worse condition.

But finding nothing wanting from the impromptu exchange, she couldn’t help but wonder how they would perform when they were in better shape.

He pursed lightly when she withdrew, and took her by surprise in the split second she lowered her eyes to screw the cap back on.

Her heartrate quickened when he took her jaw in his hand, but she didn’t make a sound. Her eyes, large and alert shot to his face, looking for any indication of his intentions.

He appeared to be studying her lips very intently, and she found her gaze straying to his mouth again as well. But his injury was fairly distracting.

She was waiting to see what he would do, refusing to be the shy little teenager she had always been before. Whatever life had to throw at her, she was ready to catch it. She could handle herself; she was strong. She was... eager.

Recognizing that in her eyes, seeing the defiant fearlessness there; finally, he smirked. He moved his thumb over her plump lower lip, slightly swollen itself from his unexpected assault. Her lips parted slightly as it made several passes, and after repeating the act in a few nearby areas around her mouth, she finally realized what he was doing.

Her breathing calmed, and she wasn’t sure if she was relieved as he removed the small amount of his blood she had acquired.

She repressed the urge to thank him. It was his fault it was there, after all. Instead, she opted to watch him retrieve his under kimono and try to don it with one hand.

Sure, he had experience in the matter. But his arm wasn’t gone, just awkwardly affixed to his neck. He got through one sleeve okay, but was struggling to wrap it around the other side. She bit her cheek.

Couldn’t he ever ask for help?

Stepping in, she got him into it well enough. His slung arm rested beneath the clothing, and once again he was cursed with an empty sleeve. He offered neither protest nor thanks at the assistance into his clothes, or when she opened the door for them to bid his brother farewell.

“Are you sure you have everything?” she asked Inuyasha, who had just finished loading Kirara up with supplies. He assured her he had. He didn’t need much, after all.

“Since you guys are staying an extra night, I won’t be back here tomorrow. Unless something happens, I’ll see you the morning after next, okay?”

With all the action in the village recently, and seeing as they arrived so late in the day, they would spend all of tomorrow speaking to the townspeople for hopes of a break. Inuyasha could make it days on his own, so he would have no trouble taking some extra time on his search.

“Please be careful. I know you’re strong, but don’t push yourself too hard.”

Having already bid her farewells, Sango stood aside to let the others have a turn.

Inuyasha noticed Kagome’s somewhat disheveled appearance, but opted not to comment. He had put her through a lot lately, and he didn’t want to make her upset with him right before he left.

“You too. Stay close to Sango. I need you guys to protect each other. And if that useless monk comes back, tell him the same thing, alright?”

This was goodbye. She wanted to hug him, but she didn’t know if that was welcome any longer. He noticed her hesitance, and hated that it he harbored some himself. He exhaled dramatically.

“Come here.” He smirked as he pulled her to him, and she finally relaxed in his hold; returning the embrace and burrowing into his shoulder.

“Take care of yourself. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.”

“Same.”

He held his best friend tightly to him, hating that he had to leave her behind. Kagome had always been his responsibility, and his greatest fear was something happening to her in his absence.

When he opened his eyes, he saw his brother’s dispassionate gaze a few paces away, and glared.

“And don’t let this bastard push you around. You’re the leader when I’m gone.”

She finally released him, and he crossed over to Sesshoumaru.

“You have the maps. Just do as we have discussed, and I foresee no problems.”

Though no other would have noticed it, the desperation in his tone was plain as day to Inuyasha. Even in the form of an order, he knew how much was riding on him.

The scent of Kagome all over his brother was jarring, and very disconcerting. But he knew she was only tending to his wounds, so he forced his protective instincts at bay.

“Yeah, hey. I need to talk to you real quick. You guys mind?” Bidding a final farewell, the two women returned to the room to let the brothers talk.

“How’s your arm?” he began causally enough once the girls were back inside. Sesshoumaru shrugged.

“I have had worse.”

Obviously uncomfortable, the hanyou winced as he lifted his clawed hand to scratch the back of his head.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.”

“Which one?” Sesshoumaru lifted an eyebrow, somewhat amused at his brother’s sheepish cadence.

“Well, both of ‘em. All of ‘em really.”

He didn’t really know what to say to that, so he decided on nothing.

“Look, Sango told me it was you who told her that I wanted her.”

Though his face remained passive, Sesshoumaru cursed internally. He did not want his brother privy to anything that occurred in the hot spring that evening. Most especially that.

He hid his discomfort with some light mockery.

“Did you need her to tell you that? Was it not obvious when immediately after you disclosed such information, she and This One had a private conversation which led her directly into your arms? Your obliviousness continues to astound me.”

Ignoring his uncharacteristic chattiness, Inuyasha refused to take the bait this time.

“Yeah about that. It ain’t exactly your style to insert yourself into other people’s problems. Especially mine, and especially not to help me.”

“So?”

Inuyasha frowned.

“So why’d you do it? Are you trying to fuck with me?”

“You as well?” Sesshoumaru scoffed, startling the half demon with such an expressive reaction. “Perhaps you and the miko are better suited for one another after all.”

“What?”

“I am offended that you believe I have the slightest interest in your affairs, or that I would waste even a second engaging in foolish games. To do so would imply that I care enough to sway your happiness in either direction, and I assure you I do not. Whether or not you are miserable is of no interest to me.”

Honestly, why did everyone seem to think that he, Sesshoumaru, would go to such lengths just to toy with them? He, who was famously apathetic and disinterested in everything, wouldn’t waste his valuable energy on anything of the sort.

He couldn’t understand why he had the reputation of being a narcissist, when everyone in this little pack seemed to think everything he did revolved around them. Ridiculous.

“Then why’d you do it? Why’d you tell her to come to me?” When Sesshoumaru turned away dismissively, the younger moved back in his sights yet again. “Far as I can tell, you either did it to help me out, which I just cannot believe.” Sesshoumaru lifted his eyes to find his brother’s intense, imploring stare. “Or else you did it to get my hopes up just so you could swoop in and take her away from me later. So what is it?”

Sesshoumaru actually huffed. He just wasn’t going to drop it, was he? Very well.

“Did she tell you everything that happened in that hot spring?” The hanyou’s eyes darkened into something dangerous, and his older brother smiled cruelly in return. “She didn’t, did she? Well, allow me to educate you.”

And he did.

Sesshoumaru proceeded to enlighten his younger brother over what exactly had occurred on that night.

There were points in the story which had his claws piercing the insides of his palms. But as much as he wanted to stop him. Throttle him. Kill him for what he had done, he refrained.

He needed to hear it, as much as he didn’t want to.

In the end, he was pleased enough to confirm that what Sango had told him was the truth. She had only spared him a few of the more graphic details, which honestly, he could have done without.

He considered that was the point of his brother telling him his side of the story. He wanted him to know what he had done, what he could have done.

But he assured him that in the end, he couldn’t go through with it because he simply couldn’t lower himself. And to get her out of his hair, he sent her off in his direction.

“Keh, so that’s why? You felt bad leaving her all hot and bothered so you sent her my way?”

“I felt nothing. It was simply my obligation.”

He wasn’t looking at him, but Sesshoumaru got the feeling he wasn’t entirely buying it. Oh well, it wasn’t his problem.

“Huh. And it just so happened to give me the girl I’m in love with.”

It all seemed so terribly convenient. But this was Sesshoumaru we were talking about here. Would he really do something to help him like that? He was more inclined to believe he was having problems getting it up. Maybe he was using Sango’s ‘unsuitability’ as an excuse for that.

That scenario was much more entertaining.

“Purely a coincidence. You were merely the only other male in the vicinity. Do not think that has nothing to do with her attraction to you either.”

“Maybe so,” Inuyasha smirked, but quickly became serious again. “Just know that if you do try to fuck her again, she ain’t havin’ it. And if you even try, I’ll kill you.”

He placed his face only an inch from his older brother’s, and Sesshouamru nearly sighed in exasperation.

He wondered if he would ever reclaim the fear and respect he was so rightfully due.

“Now you question my word as well? Did I not already vow to never again touch any woman you have had?”

That caused him to pull back. Sesshoumaru was a lot of things, but a liar wasn’t one of them. If he said he was going to do something, he’d do it.

“I don’t doubt that you keep your word,” he conceded, adopting a far less intimidating stance. Sesshoumaru lifted his chin haughtily.

“Hn. I wish I could say the same.”

“Hey. I keep my word too!”

“What of your word to keep watch at the market?”

He recoiled from his indignation at his brother’s accusatory tone.

“Didn’t think you’d want my help,” he muttered lamely, and shifted his gaze guiltily to the side. But he could still feel those violet orbs piercing through him.

“I do not. Did you not still vow to give it?”

“I’m sorry about what happened,” he admitted. “You have my word now that it will never happen again. Okay?”

“We shall see.”

“And if you were tryin’ to help, with Sango and me, I just want you to know that I'm grateful. It’d be about the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

“Why would I do that?” Inuyasha smirked at how offended he seemed to be.

“I dunno. Maybe the reason you couldn’t go through with it in the hot spring was because you do have a conscious. Maybe you didn’t want to hurt me like that again. Maybe you felt obligated to make up for the last time.”

And by the way the Western Lord appeared to grow uncomfortable, he considered he might be on to something.

“Ridiculous. I simply found her unsuitable.”

“But not at first, right?” Sesshoumaru bristled. He was right. He certainly had no problems finding her desirable at the start of the encounter. He had chosen not to examine that little fact any further, and he was annoyed that he was being forced to now. When had his brother gotten so astute? It was very irritating.

“So what changed?”

“It was a momentary lapse.”

And that was all he was willing to say.

Inuyasha decided to let it drop. It really didn’t matter, he decided. If he was uncomfortable admitting he would help him, he wasn’t going to make him.

The whole idea had him feeling a bit uncomfortable as well.

“Keh, whatever. Just don’t be a huge pain in the ass while I’m gone. They got enough to worry about without having to deal with your bullshit, alright?”

“And do not waver out there. Remember the mission. I am relying on you to succeed.”

Inuyasha straightened. That was all that really mattered.

The brothers were not big on words. Actions were way more important, anyway.

If they were going to do anything at all for each other, the results were all that mattered.

He had Sango, whether Sesshoumaru meant to help him or not.

And his brother would get his kid back. He had already vowed to himself that he would.

“I will do my best. And keep an eye on Kagome for me. She attracts trouble like you wouldn’t believe.”

But he did believe it.

And he had already made his own vow of sorts. He would definitely be keeping a closer eye on the miko.

* * *

It was almost time for bed, and the two women had taken to their respective mats inside their room.

It was the first time they had been alone ever since Inuyasha had declared his feelings for Sango, so it really should have been more awkward. Due to the day’s events, however, each was too caught up in her head to remember to feel uncomfortable.

Sango had been in a daze; a euphoric daydream as she recalled the evening she had just spent with her new boyfriend, and she fleetingly hoped that Kagome didn’t figure out why.

But Kagome was in her own world; thoroughly distracted herself at the strange turn her own night had taken.

What had that been about?

One moment she was defending herself from a barrage of insults being cruelly hurled at her by the snobby Western Lord, and the next she was forced to ward off an attack of a completely different nature. And she’d had about the same amount of success preventing both.

All that stuff he had said... Why was he being so mean to her? She was only trying to help him. That was all she had ever tried to do. How could he accuse her of such selfish behavior? He was the selfish one. It just bothered her that she couldn’t come up with anything to say in her defense.

She had never been very good at thinking of things on the spot. He was much better at arguing on the fly, so it wasn’t really an even match.

But now that she had time to think about it, she found she still didn’t have any satisfactory excuses to give. But that was fine. She didn’t owe him any explanations.

And then there was that kiss...

She should have stopped him. No. She should have slapped him. How dare he force himself on her like that? What was he trying to prove anyway?

That he was stronger than her? That he was handsome? That he was an incredibly good kisser?

Never mind that he was. She shouldn’t have let that happen.

So why did she? It must have just been shock. She wasn’t good at thinking of things on the spot.

He had no right to handle her that way. But why did he even want to? She thought he hated her.

It sure didn’t seem like he did then. When he was on top of her... He looked like he actually wanted her for a moment. Whatever he was trying to prove, it didn’t look like he was planning to stop.

If Sango hadn’t interrupted them, would he have? And what about her? She couldn’t deny, there was something thrilling about the way-

“How’d it go with Sesshoumaru?”

“What?”

The slayer’s sudden question startled her out of her musings. it was the first thing she had said to her all night. At least, she thought it was.

“His arm. Is it broken?”

Of course. His arm. She released a relieved breath at not having to explain herself any further.

“It’s hard to say. It might be fractured, but if we’re lucky it’s just a sprain. Either way, I’ve done all I can. We’re just going to have to keep an eye on it.”

She pushed herself up to sit and found Sango already doing the same. The lantern in their room helped her see while they spoke.

“Not off to a great start, are we?” Sango asked with a wry smile. “He’d better learn to control that mouth of his, otherwise we’re gonna be in for a long journey.”

That mouth. Yes, his mouth was causing her all sorts of problems. She couldn’t stop remembering how warm it was despite his cold demeanor. How unexpectedly soft-

“That’s what I told him,” she agreed, bent on derailing that particular train of thought. “I just hope he listens to me this time.”

The women shared a comfortable smile, but as the seconds wore on, their ease with each other slightly diminished.

They still hadn’t had a meaningful talk about Inuyasha. Sango was waiting for Kagome to bring it up, but the younger woman didn’t seem ready to breach that topic. Until she was, things would remain a bit delicate.

Finally, Kagome’s curiosity got the better of her.

“So, where’d you guys go?” She tried to sound casual, but she wasn’t sure if she succeeded. “Kinda dark for a walk, isn’t it?”

Sango reddened a bit, and the miko didn’t like what that implied.

“Oh. I saw a hut on the way back that I wanted to check on really quick. I was told that a soldier lives there.”

Her reply was nervous, and Kagome creased her brow in confusion.

“And you took Inuyasha? Aren’t you worried that-”

“Actually, I lied. There was a hut, but the soldier who lived there is dead. I took Inuyasha there because it was abandoned.”

Still confused, Kagome pushed further.

“Why would you...”

And then it dawned on her. It was abandoned. They went there to be alone.

Seeing her words register on her friend’s face, Sango rushed to explain.

“I was afraid it might upset you, so I didn’t want to say anything. But I don’t want to lie to you. We really haven't talked about it yet.”

“You slept with him?” she asked incredulously, the words sounding strange as she said them. “Already? Isn't that kind of... fast?”

She thought she had more time. Not that there was anything to do about it. They were going to do what they were going to do. She just felt like she needed more time to prepare.

By the way her heart twisted painfully in her chest, she clearly wasn’t ready for this news.

Unaware of the extent of her friend’s pain, Sango smiled.

“I don’t think so. I mean, we have already known each other for years.”

“I just thought you might want to... I don’t know, court for a bit. Or something.”

Couldn’t anyone keep it in their pants in this era? Miroku was bad enough. Even Sesshoumaru seemed unable to control himself. And now her and Inuyasha?

She always considered sex to be something meaningful. Something you didn’t just throw around so easily.

She really hoped that once she began having sex, she wouldn’t be so careless about it.

“We were both pretty eager to just jump right in. We’re not going to have a lot of time together coming up, so we decided to take advantage while we had the chance.”

She could see Kagome’s disapproval, and she couldn’t say she wasn’t disappointed.

She didn’t want to hurt her friend, but she also wanted a girlfriend to talk about these things with. Apparently, she wasn’t ready.

“Are you mad?” she asked hopefully, and Kagome honestly considered her question.

“I... don’t know.” Sango deflated a bit, but was glad she was at least being straight with her. “It’s your business, obviously. Everything's just happening so fast. For me, at least. I just think people should take the time to get to know each other, and see if they can even work as a couple before jumping into bed together.”

Sango smiled sadly at her young friend. She often forgot she wasn’t from this time. She also forgot how naive she could be.

Kagome was always there with them, through even the roughest of times. But compared to the rest of them, she had lived a very sheltered life.

She had grown up protected from a lot of the hardships the rest of them faced in this time. Even now, they all did their part to ensure she was afforded an extra level of protection.

Maybe it was time to enlighten her a little.

“You know I turned 20 this year?” she began simply, earning the young woman’s attention. “That’s older than most people got in my village. Even before Kohaku...” Mention of her brother caused them both to falter, but Sango shook away the terrible memory that always threatened to do her in. “Even before that, the average life expectancy of a taijiya was pretty low.” Kagome knew that was true. Even in these times, those who took on a warrior’s role usually didn’t expect to live to meet their grandchildren.

“When you know you’re going to die, you don’t waste a lot of time overthinking simple things. Every day with your loved ones could end up being your last. Everything you do could be the last time you do it.” The far off look in her eye, something dreamy and sorrowful, turned intense the moment she focused on the enraptured young miko again. “If something were to happen to him out there, I know I’d regret it if I didn’t do all I could to enjoy him while I had him. I know he feels the same way. He also understands.”

Kagome heard what she was saying, even if she didn’t want to hear it.

The idea of the two of them sharing things; understanding, physical intimacies, anything... it was difficult to accept.

It was hard to know they shared things that she could not be part of. That she could perhaps not understand.

“I know you loved him. And I am sorry for how things worked out for you. But I didn’t want to be like you; wasting precious time pining away without doing anything about it. If things don’t work out between us, at least we’ll know we went in giving everything we had. That is the only regret I would ever have.”

Sango knew it sounded harsh, and she wasn’t trying to be rude. But life was too short for many things, and tip toeing around your closest friends was one of them.

Kagome needed to grow up a bit, and that came with learning some tough lessons.

She only hoped they could come out of this with their friendship still intact.

Inuyasha wasn’t the only one who was important to her, after all.

“Are you going to be okay with this? With us? Or do you resent me?”

It was hard to hear. But despite everything, Kagome did appreciate her straight forwardness.

And if she was going to treat her like an adult, and give her complete honesty, she decided she could grant her the same treatment.

“I feel no resentment. Or betrayal.” Sango released a relieved breath. “You can’t help who you are attracted to, and who you aren’t. And Inuyasha and I were never a couple.” Sango smiled at her, but it fell when she saw the pained look on Kagome’s face. “But it still hurts. He hurt me. You hurt me. And it doesn’t make it easier to see the two of you moving along so quickly. I’m sure after some time I will get used to the idea. But for now, I’d appreciate it if you kept the details of your sex life to yourselves. Is that fair?”

It wasn’t what she hoped for, but at least it seemed like they could move forward. It was going to take some time, but if they could respect each other and be honest, she was confident they were going to be okay.

"Yes,” she answered softly, and watched as Kagome settled back down in her bed. After a moment, she added, “I’m sorry.”

For a moment, there was no response, so she laid down herself. But once she closed her eyes, a quiet reply hit her ears.

“I know.”

It was a lot to unpack, but they had a busy day ahead of them tomorrow. Finding Rin was the most important thing right now.

* * *

Sesshoumaru considered taking a bath. He wanted to wash this day off him quickly; scrub his failure away until it was gone, and start again tomorrow in new skin. But the miko’s medicine had his head in a fog. And though not entirely unpleasant, he considered that perhaps he was not in the best position to be slipping around a bathhouse with one working arm. On top of that, getting himself in and out of his sling seemed like a terrible chore at the moment, and he’d already made a show of refusing the miko’s aid in washing him. So, he would wait until morning when hopefully his senses returned. What was left of them anyway.

The medicine really was working quite well. The terrible pain he had endured at the hands of those soldiers was a distant memory. And not only that, but the effects of her magic pills had him feeling light as air. The weight he had walked around with since his transformation had lifted, and his worry-plagued mind was now free to entertain more enjoyable thoughts.

Like the faces of those soldiers. He had memorized them well. He casually fantasized about the numerous ways he would exact his revenge at the very first opportunity. It could take years, but he vowed to get his due. He was making a mental note of all who had wronged him during this unfortunate escapade. And whether he returned to his former glory or not, he decided he would find a way to make each and every one of them pay for their crimes on his person.

An easy smile graced his lips as he envisioned a particularly gory scenario; involving a steel wire and several gallons of salt, when another errant thought forced its way to the front.

It began as praise for the miko and her wonderful job with the potion. He started thinking of nice ways to kindly ask her for more when he saw her next.

Those thoughts were dangerous, and had him remembering the heated kiss they’d shared earlier that evening. That had been... interesting.

He did not know what possessed him, but one moment they were arguing over her childish behavior, and the next she was pinned beneath him; unaware of how dangerously close she was to getting deflowered right there on the table.

Or maybe she was aware. She certainly didn’t seem to be fighting him then. That was also interesting.

He had meant to subdue her; to teach her her place. But somehow, she had managed to at once defy him as well as spur him forward. She did not submit; she accepted. She did not retreat; she encouraged. She appeared to have welcomed his invasion, while at the same time daring him to proceed.

He remembered the challenge in her eye, the fire. She was fearless against the threat he posed, yet seemed excited at the prospect of him posing it.

She wasn’t exactly inviting pursuit, but she had made it more than clear that she was not intimidated by it. And while he had not intended initially to instigate such a thing, the fact that she would rise to the challenge had a baser part of him yearning to see it through.

Most intriguing perhaps was all of the uncertainty surrounding her. Now that she’d matched his kiss, he wondered how she would fare going forward.

If he had pushed for more, would she have still matched his moves? Would she have dared him to continue if he had removed her clothing, and imposed on her person? Would she have responded in kind? Or would she have eventually relented, and ran?

How far could he push her until she either submitted or retreated? He suddenly found that he very much wanted to know.

It had been so long since a female had challenged him; had put up any sort of fight.

Made even more exciting by the fact that now he was human, and that changed the game a bit.

It added a new layer of difficulty in that he would need to navigate challenges in besting a woman in his human form. They played by a whole different set of rules that he would be forced to at once discover and excel at.

But he was up to the task. Was she?

They would soon find out. That was the game, after all.

Finding Rin was his first priority; he would not detract from that. But in his spare time, so long as he was human, he would pass his idle hours seeing just what it took to get this stubborn miko to falter.

The medicine had him fuzzy, but even now he could recognize the strange effect the pills were having on his thoughts. Perhaps he shouldn’t ask for more, lest he lose his wits completely.

Matter of fact, he was feeling increasingly strange all of a sudden.

At first it had simply killed the pain, and the pleasant effect on his mood and his nerves was soon to follow. He had not kept track of the time since he had returned to his room, which was still absent a very lecherous monk.

But since then, he had simply been content to relax and enjoy his mostly violent fantasies without the pain in his arm to distract him.

But now the pills were having another effect on him. Was this normal? Maybe he should go ask her.

But before he could stand, his entire body went numb; save for the intoxicating feeling of blood rushing through his veins. It felt like the valves had been open, and the pressure to surge encouraged his life force to flow freely at intimidating speeds. There was something familiar about it.

His fingers and toes tingled, and several sections throughout his body began to follow suit. The tingling soon turned to burning; hot and angry and insistent. It was not altogether unpleasant.

He shot up from his futon, and ears and face and scalp seemed to throb in tune with his rapidly beating heart. He tried to touch himself there, but his burning fingertips allowed for no sense of touch.

Everything within him seemed to thrum. He briefly considered that he should go to the miko, and ask about this previously undisclosed symptom of her magic, but something unnamed kept him glued to his seat.

He couldn’t shake that the feeling was familiar, and when all the tingling and buzzing and surging began to warm him, he simply basked in the increasing pleasure of the welcomed feeling.

As the burning subsided, he looked down to his hands. His breath caught.

Sharp, deadly talons gracing the tip of each digit.

Attractive cuts of magenta slicing their way across his skin.

Frantically, he pulled open his shirt, and began to inventory his heritage faster than his brain could follow. So far, everything he had been missing seemed to have returned to him.

He recognized his beloved youki as he lifted his claws to his ears again, and felt the elfin tip that had just moments ago been round. He couldn’t see the marks on his face, but just by touching them he could tell they were there, and just as sensitive as they had always been.

Finally, he lifted his hair in his fingers, and let out a relieved, and elated sigh, before quickly reining in his excitement.

Even his control over his form had returned, and for just a moment he worried that he might be dreaming again.

If the miko walked through his door and began to undress, he was going to be very disappointed. For the most part.

But he was soon convinced that this was real. The medicine he had been enjoying had lost its effect completely, but he no longer needed it. He closed his eyes to focus on the bulk of his youki. He had missed this.

But as he called forth his powers, something was wrong. It wasn’t all there. Parts of him were still missing, but what couldn’t be put into words. He just felt... incomplete.

Never matter. He would have it back in due time.

For now, he needed to run. He hadn’t a second to squander now that he had returned to himself... mostly.

He allowed a sinister grin to grace his features. And with unshakable intent, he was out his door in a flash; thoroughly relishing the speed which he could finally achieve once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trust me, i'm not just trying to torture sess in this fic. i love him too much for that.


	16. Neither Hyde Nor Werewolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im crankin em out now, boi

“What do you mean he isn’t here?!”

Kagome began to panic as her eyes darted frantically around the guys’ room.

She had woken a bit late this morning; so after getting dressed in a rush, she took Sango next door to hand out her emergency ration of breakfast bars to the others.

She had half expected to find Miroku still MIA from the night before, but she was shocked to find that though they did appear to be missing a group member, it was not the amorous monk.

“Like I said Kagome-sama, I returned last night and the room was empty.”

Dropping her heavy backpack with a thud, Kagome rubbed her hands down her face in utter frustration.

She felt a headache coming on, and hoped to ward it off early by massaging her temples with her fingers.

“Why didn’t you come tell us?”

With her eyes closed, Kagome missed his dismissive shrug. That was probably for the best.

“I thought he was with you.”

That casual statement caused her to crack one very impatient eyelid in the monk’s direction.

“And what would he be doing in our room?”

Both women found his answering grin incredibly inappropriate, for several reasons. Kagome managed to resist rolling her eyes heavenward. Sango did not.

“Living the dream,” he finally implied. “I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“This is bad. This is really bad.”

Sesshoumaru was not ready to be traipsing around town on his own yet. The two times he had been taken out in public since becoming human had ended terribly.

And Miroku claimed to have come back to the inn hours ago. What would Sesshoumaru possibly be doing out there alone for hours? Kagome could think of several possibilities, none of which were good.

Why would he leave without telling them? What if something happened to him?

Maybe he had been taken somewhere against his will. What if he’d been killed? It was entirely possible.

At any rate, this changed their plans. Again.

Now, instead of interrogating townspeople about tigers, they would need to form a search party for their unpleasant travelling companion.

But where to begin? Kagome began thinking about likely places for him to have gone.

“Where could he be?” she asked aloud, more to herself than the other two. “We need to leave immediately and see if we can find-”

Her rambling was cut short when at that moment, the man in question let himself in through the door.

He was greeted with a stunned silence by everyone in the room. Partially because of the way he was carrying himself. There was something confident, and dangerous in the passive glare he produced.

But the other reason was because of what he was wearing.

His silk haori, which he had been relieved of just last night, was on his back once more. He wore it proudly, and looked just like he always had... aside, of course, from being human.

The other difference was the blood.

Large, still damp stains of dark red blood blotched, and stained his normally pristine garment. Against the white of the silk, it was very obvious and striking.

He just stood there in silence, putting them all on edge with his chilling stillness as he simply looked at them coolly.

After a moment of this, Kagome was the one to break the tension. Her eyes never left his face; she seemed to be regarding him with a sort of cautious awe, as she addressed the others in the room.

“Sango, will you and Miroku fill that washtub up with cold water for me? Like, ice cold.”

But the two only shared an uncomfortable glance before turning back to the miko, whose intent focus was only on the former demon in front of them.

Something in Sesshoumaru’s aura was different. A far cry from the awkward human they had grown accustomed to over the last few days. This one seemed scarier. More dangerous.

And they did not like the idea of leaving him alone with Kagome in that moment.

“Kagome, are you sure you are going to be-”

“Halfway is fine,” she interrupted; more no-nonsense than either had ever heard her. “Or three quarters. You don’t need to fill it all the way. Thanks.”

They could tell by her tone that she would not accept their refusal.

Kagome knew what she was doing. She had spent more time around him than any of them, and he hadn’t hurt her yet. Then they remembered his promise, and finally acquiesced.

With a look over their shoulders, the couple left the room in search of the wash tub, as requested.

When finally alone, they remained silent for a long moment. Each, with their chin held high, searched the other’s face... looking for hints.

Once again, it was Kagome who broke first.

“Are you injured?”

As still as he was, she thought he might not answer. Then, with a subtle shake of his head, he generously replied. He never dropped her gaze; the intensity of it held them both captive.

“No.”

His eyes widened fractionally when she released a heavy breath, as if relieved.

“Good.” She relaxed her posture, and crossed over to her book bag. He, however, remained still. Standing tall, with his chest puffed a bit, as if standing at attention. “Take that off.”

He faltered at her casual command. For everything he had expected her to say to him, that was certainly not a contender.

Sensing his reluctance, she threw her head over her shoulder as she crouched to dig through her bag.

“I need to wash it. We can’t have you walking around today covered in blood.”

She did have a point, he supposed. If they were going to be spending the day with villagers, having blood on his clothes might raise a few eyebrows, and red flags. It was hard to be charming when you were up to your neck in blood stains.

He removed his reclaimed garment, and held it out to her silently as she approached him. He recognized the hooded sweatshirt in her hand as the one she had lent him before. But she also had another smaller shirt in her hands, likely to be worn underneath.

She grabbed his haori from him, careful not to touch the bloody parts; but when he grabbed for the other items in her hand, she pulled them out of reach.

“That too.”

He followed her line of sight to his juban, and answered her request with a delicately lifted eyebrow.

“It’s still got blood from your lip on there.” She gestured her full hands to his chest, where the reminder of his encounter the night before still remained. “I will give you these in the meantime.”

With another long, considering look at her, he finally relented, and began undoing the ties. Holding his gaze suddenly became too difficult a task, so she averted her eyes to the side with a faint blush staining her cheeks.

She didn’t see it when he smirked; divesting himself of his remaining layer, and bearing his impressive upper body to her view. He held the shirt out to her for a moment, and she tried to keep her eyes on his face when she went to grab it.

But when she pulled to claim it, his grip remained tight. After a moment of surprise, she realized what he was doing, and furrowed her brow impatiently.

His earlier smirk was gone, but there was amusement sparkling in his violet eyes, and then he finally let go.

She didn’t appreciate his games, and as far as she was concerned, he had no call to act playful. He’d had her worried sick. The least he could have done was to leave a note, or something.

Oh well, she figured. Too late now, and there was no harm done. At least, not to any of them.

She finally caught sight of his broad, strong chest as she hastily plucked his ruined clothing from his grip. It couldn’t be helped; he was close enough to touch, after all. Close enough to touch, and half naked.

She remembered the night before, only a few short hours ago. She felt his hips, felt _him_ pressed so insistently into her hip; keeping her pinned to the table beneath them with the threat he posed. The promise of things to come.

She remembered that muscular bicep, right beside her cheek as he planted his good hand to the side of her head for support.

His bare, heaving chest was close enough to touch then too, and she did.

Her hands pressed against him, but lightly. For some reason, she didn’t want to give the impression that she would push if he advanced. But she didn’t know if she would have. She supposed that now she would never know.

She remembered how, just for a fleeting moment, she’d had the urge to move her hands lower. Give into temptation, and trail her inexperienced fingers over each well-defined cut of muscle along his taut stomach. Trace the valleys between each one, and create a scorching path around the outline of every perfectly shaped abdominal.

In her momentarily lust-fogged mind, she’d wondered how they would feel if she dragged her tongue across them; how they would taste. Would he taste even a little salty, or just as clean and rich as he appeared. How he would react if she moved her mouth on him lower?

She realized she was staring now. And for his part, he didn’t appear to be offended. He only watched on curiously as she appeared to meticulously rake her gaze across his beautiful form.

But as she took him in now, as she fully absorbed him, she suddenly noticed a jarring difference from last night.

His body, once littered with bruises and abrasions, was now flawless.

Even where there should be - at the very least - scars, was only perfect, unmarred skin.

The most notable had been the wound at his shoulder; the first one she had tended to in the cave. Now, there was no evidence of any attack on his person.

She lifted her hand, and he watched in mild surprise as she actually touched him. Feather light, and almost too soft to feel, she traced her delicate finger tips over the spot that only yesterday had been an unsightly gash.

He allowed it to continue another moment more. Her touch became firmer, and she stroked his skin back and forth, as if transfixed.

He allowed her to explore. But when he started to warm, and revel in her gentle caress, he willed himself at last to put an end to it.

Finally, he grabbed her, forcing her to stop. In his left hand, he held her fingers tightly, and pulled them back just an inch.

She wasn’t startled when the action drew her gaze back to his face. She only looked up at him curiously; seemed to be studying him. As he was doing to her in return.

All those marks; the cuts and bruises, the remnants of _two_ black eyes, all that had once blasphemously disrupted what was an otherwise impossibly beautiful face... they were all gone. He looked as if he had never been touched. Mint condition.

“Speaking of your lip, it looks to have healed up.” It came out breathier than she had intended. She was staring at his perfect mouth again, now in much better shape than when she had been more intimately acquainted with it last night. “How is your arm?”

He released her hand, and they both observed his previously damaged left elbow.

“Also healed.”

She took a step back to get a better overall look at him, and to even out her breathing. She was still a bit off kilter as she questioned him.

“That was fast. What happened?”

He paused thoughtfully, and she waited on baited breath for his answer.

He kind of liked having her unrivaled attention, but decided not to drag out her suffering overly long.

“I am not certain.”

She was back inside her head, trying to make sense of all of this. While she thought on it, he got himself into his borrowed clothing. She couldn’t decide how she felt about that.

She watched him peel the t-shirt over himself with an immense sense of loss. She had bought the boy’s style shirt from her high school to sleep in, but it fit him only perhaps a size too small.

The hoodie was much larger, and hung off of him comfortably. Still, she fought the urge to pout.

“Well, seeing as you got your shirt back, I don’t think I need to ask what you were doing all night.” She held up the haori in question, and he offered no dispute. “Did anyone see you?”

He only stared at her, and she lowered her arms with a frustrated huff.

“Will anyone out there be able to recognize you if they see you today?”

“There is no one alive who saw my face last night.”

She read between the lines of that tidy little statement, but all she felt was relief. They had enough going against them without being wanted for murder as well.

“Good.”

But that was not the response he was expecting. He raised his eyebrow at her again, but she was busy placing his clothing down on the table to her side, so she didn’t notice. “Then we should be able to move on as planned. If anyone asks, we don’t know a thing about it, okay?”

He just continued to look at her; perplexed. But as she stared back at him, obviously expectant, this time it was he who relented. A slow, almost dumbfounded nod was enough to satisfy her, and she looked back over to his clothing at her side.

“How many?” she asked casually. His response was just as plain.

“Three.”

“Three soldiers?” She looked up to him to verify, which he did with a sharp nod.

“Yes.”

That was good, she decided. Nobody innocent got hurt.

“And their bodies are-”

“Never going to be found. That, I promise you.” That cold, convincing tone of his rarely did not instill fear. That was something about his transformation that hadn’t changed; his voice. He still had liquid honey rolling off his tongue and into her ear, in a way that on any given day, in any given second, straddled the border of scaring you out of your pants, or seducing you out of them.

This time, however, she was simply pleased. If he promised no one would find his victims, she absolutely believed him. In her relief, she smiled.

“Well then, I guess we’re done here. We can soak your clothes when they get back, and they should be ready to hang by the time we return from across town.”

But while she mulled over how long his clothing might take to dry, or how much longer Sango and Miroku would be with her laundry water, Sesshoumaru stood amazed. And confused, over how this woman could change topics so quickly, and turn off her heavy thoughts like she was simply closing a spigot.

It wasn’t at all strange for him. He could compartmentalize beautifully. But in his experience, the miko had always been decidedly less rational with her emotions. Had she changed? Or did he not know her as well as he thought he did.

“Have you eaten?” she asked, crouching again to get into her pack. “I have some granola bars in my bag if you-”

“Are you not upset?”

She paused her rummaging to look up at him over her scrunched nose.

“With what?”

“With me. I killed those humans without mercy. I had expected your dissatisfaction.”

Truth be told, he was not looking forward to the reception upon his return to the inn. His clothing had not made it out of the soldier’s quarters unscathed, and he knew it would be no great mystery what he had been doing.

It didn’t matter at the time, as he thought he was back to being a demon for good. But when he transformed back into a human in the wee hours of the morning, he had come to terms with the fact that he was beholden to these mortals he traveled with once again.

He had heard her berate the hanyou; foolishly lament any killing she viewed as ‘unnecessary.’ He had more than expected her to demand he explain himself, and he had a nice short speech planned to inform her of why killing those soldiers was indeed necessary.

But to his surprise, her incessant nagging had never commenced. He was pleased to avoid it, but he also did not like being taken by surprise.

She got what she needed out of her pack, before zipping it and standing again. He watched her intently; predatorily.

Studied her features carefully when she offered the smallest of smiles, and began a slow approach.

“Sesshoumaru,” she began simply; almost deceptively so. “While I do prefer only to kill - and even use violence in general - as a last resort, there are things about the world that I have come to understand while living in the Sengoku Jidai.”

She took another step closer, so that she now had to tilt her head a bit to look up at him.

“One of those things being; if you cross the Lord of the Western Lands, you must be prepared to die.”

As practiced as he was at schooling his features, he could not prevent the briefest flashings of shock to make themselves known.

But her wry, almost mocking smile, quickly caused a smirk of his own to curl up the side of his lip.

“Now, are you hungry or not?”

It was a comfortable silence, as she held out the breakfast bar to him expectantly. While he shook his head in refusal, his smirk remained.

“No.”

With a shrug, she put in in her pocket for later.

There was something he was hiding, but she wasn’t going to press him. She was confident that once he felt comfortable sharing it with her, he would.

Maybe whatever happened to him last night replenished all his strength. It seemed to at least heal all of his wounds up very nicely.

It was the first time she had seen him as a human without those bruises tarnishing his good looks.

He looked... incredible. Especially with that little smirk he was wearing. It made him almost look happy. Was that because of her?

“Did you get enough rest?” she asked, willing her blush to recede. “We have a long day ahead of us. I hope you didn’t waste all of your energy last night.”

He sure looked well rested, especially considering he was up all night performing ungodly acts on those foolish soldiers. Whatever happened must have definitely recharged him.

He looked about the best she’d seen him since the change.

“I am rested.” She smiled at his assurance, and peered out the window for her friends. She considered going to see if they needed any help carrying the water up.

“Miko...”

When she looked back over, his troubled countenance gave her pause. Giving him her full attention once again, she inched closer and waited patiently for him to speak.

“Last night, I became a demon.”

He hadn’t said it, but that was pretty much what she had assumed. She couldn’t think of any other way for him to heal himself so quickly. But why, or how he changed back was still a mystery to her.

“You changed back to your old self?”

He shook his head. With a frown, he ran his fingers through his hair in apparent frustration.

“No. I transformed back into a demon, but... I was not me. Not entirely.”

He rarely had trouble articulating himself, so his current loss for words was new to him. Seeing her obvious confusion, he tried his best to explain.

“I looked as I once looked,” he gestured broadly to his own body, “and I had all of my power once again. But something was missing. Something I cannot name.”

Last night, he had been a demon. That was indisputable. But he was not as he had once been. Part of him was still gone, though he could not explain what.

The first thing to cross his mind was that it was some form of magic. Perhaps the miko knew more about her powers than she let on.

“Your potion... did it do this?” He didn’t even try to hide the hopeful note in his tone.

He would not have appreciated consuming dubious potions under false pretenses. Though a part of him wished that was the answer. If she had that ability, then perhaps they could work on the cure together.

As displeased as he was to have possibly been tricked, he knew it would have been out of a misguided notion to help him.

“My potion? You mean the pills?” At his nod, she frowned. “No, they are nothing magic, just painkillers.” She tried to think of a way to help him understand. It would not do to have him thinking she placed a spell on him or anything. She didn’t want that kind of reputation. “It’s like opium, but in pill form. Nothing that would trigger transformations. The only thing it could turn you into is a drug addict, but two little pills aren’t going to hurt you.”

He could no longer discern deceit with his scent, but he was becoming accustomed to using his other senses to aid him in this endeavor. After a lengthy once over, he decided as best as he could that she was telling the truth, and sighed. That would have been too easy, wouldn’t it? Can’t have that.

“Then I do not know what triggered the change. Had I known I would revert back within a few short hours; I would have used my time more... wisely.”

Frustrated with himself, he turned from her. Kagome tried her best to reassure him.

“What could be a better use of your time than sticking it to those guys who robbed you and broke your arm?”

Kagome didn’t understand his raw need for vengeance. She herself had been wronged, but even then, it did not seem worth it to spend so much of yourself seeking out your enemies. To her, it just seemed like that made them win.

If you waste all your time obsessing over someone, doesn’t that consume you? Isn’t that what they want?

Sure, she could understand. When it was Naraku, she could understand. He was an unrepentant, evil man and he really needed to die.

But he was impossible to ignore. He forced himself onto them.

These soldiers... they were nothing. This was a vanity project. An ego thing.

But she wouldn’t fault him for it.

He was a proud guy, and not used to getting treated badly. And, seeing what they did to him, she couldn’t say they didn’t deserve... well, at least a little of what they got.

But the Western Lord was a bit touchy about these things. He refused to accept a certain kind of treatment.

So why did she? Why did she accept lesser treatment from her enemies? Was she more forgiving? Less vengeful?

Or did she allow others to get away with a bit too much?

She reckoned perhaps she could learn a thing or two from Sesshoumaru. If only they could meet somewhere in between...

He paused a moment, doing his best to calm himself. With his eyes still closed, he threw his answer over his shoulder.

“Finding Rin.”

She approached him slowly, but his back was still to her.

“I could have scoured half the country in my demon form last night. I could have killed those men quickly, and been on to more important things.” He cringed angrily, and nearly spoke through his teeth. “I thought I had time, so I took my time with them. Their deaths were slow.”

It was nothing she didn’t already know. She neither needed, nor wanted the specifics of his night on the town.

When she was close enough to touch him, she reached out and did just that. When she placed her hand gently on his bicep, he didn’t react.

“The time wasted on my revenge would have been better served on other matters.”

“That’s the problem with revenge.”

He instantly opened his eyes, to see her looking up at him sympathetically. He would have despised that look in the past. He would have mistaken it for pity. But she didn’t pity him.

She understood. At least, it looked like she did. Though he couldn’t imagine how.

He briefly wondered if she had ever lost someone. If it had been her fault as well...

“But now you know. If you get to change again, next time you won’t squander it, right?”

No, he wouldn’t. That was for certain.

If he ever found his way to becoming a demon again, even if only for a night, he would dedicate his time to tracking and finding Rin. The revenge could come after.

After holding her gaze a long moment, he looked down to where she was touching him, and remembered something else from the night before.

Then, as if he was a hot surface – which, to be fair, he was – she removed her hand quickly. Suddenly, she felt very nervous around him.

When he looked back into her face again, she took a step back, and started babbling.

“This is a great sign!” she announced, almost too cheerfully. “You changed back, if only for a little while. At least we know that you can do it.”

Relieved to see the others finally making their way up with the washtub, she immediately rushed over to help. But she turned to him before she got to the door.

“The only thing we need to find out now is how you did it. But don’t worry. We’ll help you.”

He was devastated when he had changed into a human again. He thought it was over, but it had just been a tease.

But now, thanks to the miko, his hopes had lifted once more.

She was right. He had been able to change back. For the most part, at least. Even if he would never fully be himself again, it was at least better than not being a demon at all.

Last night breathed new air into him. Nurtured his nearly broken spirit, and reminded him of what it was like to be Sesshoumaru again... and why it was worth fighting to reclaim him.

He’d bathed in the healing pool. If only for a night, all of his injuries had been soothed, and his weary muscles had been rejuvenated. He was a new man.

And vanquishing his enemies had been... beyond sweet. That was perhaps the best feeling of all.

He couldn’t help but think of the tiger clan, and what he vowed to impart on them the second they were located. it was the greatest motivator he could receive.

He watched as the others brought in the tub, and placed his bloody garments in the water to soak. The deep red from the soldiers instantly bled from his priceless clothing and into the freezing creek water they floated in. The last remaining traces of those vermin would soon be out of his clothes, and thus out of their lives forever. It was a comforting notion. If only a simple bath would wash out his own filthy blood; return him to his former glory. Cleanse him through and through.

But for now, he would make do.

He didn’t know if these humans could help him. But he could not deny, returning to them in his mortal skin felt much more comfortable than going out on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not much of a torture porn person, but I love sess for doing it. 
> 
> Are you disappointed that I didn’t describe his misdeeds... or relieved?? 
> 
> This chapter was def shorter than the last, but quicker, eh?


	17. Foreign Tongue, or Domestic?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not one for trigger warnings, cuz I don’t like to ruin the surprise (which is why I also don’t give too much away in my summaries). But to cover my bases, I felt an urge to warn you that this chapter has some mildly racist language/stereotypes that i do not condone. 
> 
> I kinda hate using it in my stories, not because I oppose it’s use in an artistic setting, but cuz it is such a softball pitch to make my villains unlikeable. However this is the way the scene played in my head, so it shall be.
> 
> ENJOY!!

* * *

Their trip across town proved a bit more fruitful than the day before.

While most able-bodied men were put to work rebuilding, the wealthier lords generously offered up their homes for the injured to recoup in. It was also a haven for the women and children of the town, most of whom had lost their protector to either the battle, the army, or the reconstruction effort.

They were given a safe place to stay, as well as jobs providing services such a laundry, cooking, or tending to the sick. As such, the female to male ratio in this part of town was certainly to Miroku’s liking.

As these people tended to have been more directly affected by the recent demon attack, they were able to offer first-hand accounts, and therefore more valuable information than had previously been acquired through simple hearsay.

It turns out that the youkai responsible was actually an elemental. A water demon, who came up from the sea in the south to wreak havoc further inland. Such demons don’t usually come up this far, so it was a strange attack. But elementals do not have clans, so the small group wasn’t sure why the innkeeper seemed to think it had been the work of one. They probably weren't used to a single youkai causing so much damage on its own.

So, while it was disappointing and more or less a dead end, it was at least good enough to satisfy the travelers that this demon had nothing to do with their tigers, and therefor required no further investigating.

Their questioning had led them to Lord Takashi’s mansion. The biggest in the area, he had fashioned the whole first floor into sort of a makeshift den for the displaced townspeople.

There were a few men littered about who were nursing some very serious injuries, but they seemed to be on the mend. Other than that, and a few children running around, the home was filled with mostly women.

Several tables and seating had been made available for them, as well as a plentiful supply of sake, apparently. It probably helped soothed a lot of their pain- both physical and emotional.

So after the group had made their rounds, getting all the information they could out of everyone present, they were offered a seat at their own table – complete with complimentary bottle of sake.

The last female they had questioned was still at the table with them. Because despite having told them all that she knew about the attack, Miroku had questions for her of a more personal nature.

She had been a little on the ditsy side, but Kagome was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and blame it on her age.

She was of age, but likely not by much. When Miroku offered her some of their sake, however, it did not help her case.

“In your hand?” she asked incredulously, as he held up the appendage in question.

“Yes, I'm afraid so.”

His wind tunnel was still covered up safely, and Kagome mused that if the thing ever got cured, he could probably still claim to have it for his own purposes. It wasn’t like he could open it and show them.

She’d venture the thought had crossed his own mind a time or two.

“Oh, my. That’s awful!” the girl screeched in an annoyingly high tone.

Kagome and Sango’s eyes met, then rolled at one another at the monk’s familiar antics.

“Indeed. But the very worst part is that I may not live to see my family line passed down.”

His fake sorrow seemed so obvious to them, but they had heard him use this schtick a million times. It was totally shameless, but they couldn’t deny how often it actually worked.

“You poor man.” The girl put her hand on his shoulder and offered her sincerest sympathy as he hung his head dramatically.

“I could go at any time. The only way to ensure I am allowed to pass on my legacy would be if I started fathering children right away.”

She didn’t seem to be catching on, as she only continued bestowing him silent comfort. He met her eyes earnestly.

“Of course, you could help bring an end to my lifetime of torment if you wished to aid me in this endeavor.” Sango lifted her sake to her lips, but Kagome’s had been drained well before the start of this agonizing display.

They often felt that they should jump in and save these poor women themselves, but then they would be plagued by a very disgruntled monk for the foreseeable future.

No, as long as he didn’t do anything too dastardly, they wouldn’t stand in his way. But they weren't going to help him either.

“Oh, I don’t know...” At the girl’s reluctance, he took her hand in his and pulled out the big guns.

“I would consider it a great honor, and service if you would be willing to bear my child.”

Another eyeroll, and the two women turned away from the couple across from them. It was just too painful to watch. They opted instead to have their own conversation. Sesshoumaru, who was on the monk’s other side, seemed more preoccupied observing the other people in the area; the ones they had already interviewed.

“Well, I think that’s everyone,” Sango announced, draining the rest of her cup and setting it on the table in front of her.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“It looks like it wasn’t our guys, and no one around has heard a thing about any tigers.” Sango scanned the room again for anyone they might have missed. It was a large floor, with dozens of people, and not particularly well lit.

Kagome dropped her gaze to simply stare at her hands in front of her, thinking.

“Too bad. I guess that means we move on to the next town in the morning.”

“All that hard work, and all we’ve gotten for our troubles is a few cups of sake.” Sango had grabbed the bottle, set to pour herself another serving. But at the last moment, she remembered her manners.

“Do you want another?”

Kagome scrunched up her face and shook her head.

“No. And I don’t think you should either. Kind of early, isn’t it?”

Not really. The sun was still up, but they’d had an early start, and a busy morning. And after a hard day of work, if some kind soul offered you free alcohol, you took it. Sango shrugged, and topped herself off.

“What else are we going to do? It might help get me to sleep early tonight, and then we can get up early and leave this village for good.”

Kagome looked across to Sesshoumaru to garner his reaction, only to find him staring off somewhere in the distance, completely ignoring them. Looking down, she saw the cup in front of him remained untouched.

“At least Sesshoumaru has the right idea. We do not want hangovers tomorrow.”

A loud, obnoxious giggling from across the table pierced Kagome’s ears, before her gaze drew over to the bottle once again.

“Maybe I _should_ have another. It will spare me the pain of listening to Miroku work his magic on the poor village girls.”

If Miroku, or his young friend heard her, neither of them showed it. That con artist smile told them he was well into his little routine, but it perhaps was not going as well as he would hope.

Maybe this girl wasn’t so dim after all.

“Come now! I may be a lowly monk, but you can’t deny these striking good looks. Don’t you want your children to be attractive? You will get no finer offer.”

He leaned into her, grabbing the bottle back from Sango and pouring the girl another glass. But as he did, she was looking around him at the stoic figure to his right.

“Oh, I don’t know. I think your friend there is much cuter.” She smiled intently over at the man who seemed to be doing his best to tune out everything that was going on at his table.

“Him?” Miroku asked incredulously, sticking his thumb in his direction. “He is in his element as the strong silent type, sure. But talk to him for 10 seconds and then tell me how you feel.”

It appeared he _was_ listening, because he turned long enough to shoot the monk a dangerous glare, which caused him to laugh nervously and scratch the back of his neck.

“Eh..heh heh...”

“Come on, Miroku. Let's get out of here,” Sango begged, fully through with his antics. “We have to go back to the inn now.”

“Just a few more minutes, ladies. I beg of you.”

He argued a moment with the two women, who were increasingly warming to the idea of simply leaving him behind, when the girl he had been talking to leaned around the monk to try her hand at getting Sesshoumaru’s attention.

“Hi. What’s your name?”

But he was much more interested in the party that had just walked in through the door.

Two men decked out in very strange clothing entered the den, each with a young woman in tow.

The men were tall, cocky, and definitely not from the area. These men weren’t even from this country.

Their coloring was strange. Their facial features, exotic. They were foreign, but somehow familiar to Sesshoumaru. He had seen their kind before, but he just couldn’t place where.

Letting themselves in confidently, they took a seat at a table nearby, and it was not long before one of the residents made haste over to them brandishing a bottle, and a cup for each of them.

These men must have some sort of business with the lord of the manor.

The women with them were quiet, but that in itself wasn’t strange. He just noted that they appeared to be unhappy to be there. He couldn't necessarily blame them.

“You see? Not very personable. I, on the other hand...”

Miroku reclaimed the young girl’s attention as he continued to make a case for himself. Kagome and Sango were doing their best to get this show on the road, but Sesshoumaru was still staring at the odd group across the room.

Only a few minutes in, and they seemed to have already downed their bottle. With a deep, demanding shout, another was quick on the way.

When the young woman rushed to their side with more sake, one man grabbed the bottle from her, while the other one reached out to grab her unsubtly on the ass, earning a shriek for his efforts.

This caused them to laugh, but when the woman ran off, they simply turned their crude attention to the women sitting with them.

The girls twisted awkwardly when the men reached over and began grabbing their chest. They were groping them openly, but because of their size, there was little the women could do to ward off the attention.

They only squirmed with mortified expressions, shifting uncomfortably and trying to get the men to remove their hands from them, but their resistance only seemed to encourage firmer groping.

The other members of Sesshoumaru’s party were too wrapped up in their separate conversations to notice what was going on across the room, but the newcomers now had the Western Lord’s undivided attention.

One of the women gasped incredulously when the man beside her tried to grab between her legs, and her reaction only incited more drunken laughter.

Cursing his human hearing, Sesshoumaru had to strain in attempt to discern what the men were saying.

After a few minutes of struggling, it had finally occurred to him.

He thought them unintelligible at first, for he could not understand a word. Then, as he focused more intently, he began to realize that he did know this language.

He was right when he had assumed they were from another country.

As a boy, his father had taken him on many a journey to lands outside of Japan.

Some of his fondest memories were taking trips with his father; flying from country to country to see what lie beyond his doorstep.

The Western Lands were his, he told him. But there was much more to take, if only he had desired it.

He liked the idea of one day expanding his territory. For now, however, he was content with the land he had. Besides, ruling was such tedious business at times. Why would he want to cause more work for himself if it wasn’t necessary?

But he recognized this language. His father demanded he become fluent in several tongues over the years. And though he hadn’t heard it since he was a pup, he found he still knew it well.

“You see any more that you like?” he heard the one man say to the other.

“No. These girls are putrid.” He wore a disgusted look as he scanned around the room and answered his companion. “I think this is as good as we’re going to get for today. Let's just get them back to the ship and get out of here. I'm bored.”

“Ah, hold your horses, jackass,” the other demanded, reclining in his seat and bringing the sake to his lips. “We don’t set sail ‘til tomorrow, then we will be stuck on that boat for weeks. You’ll be begging to stand on dry land again by then. So just relax. Let's enjoy ourselves.”

The statement caused a cruel smile to play at his friend’s lips, and he threw a lascivious look over to the female at his side.

“I’ll be enjoying myself more when I get this one on the ship.”

To illustrate his point, he went to grab for her chest again. She shied away from the attention but had apparently given up on trying to stop him.

This earned a laugh from his buddy, who followed up by filling his cup for him, and then one for the girl.

“Have another drink. Give her one too, it will make her more fun.”

The threatening grin he gave her seemed to cause her even more discomfort.

Accepting his offer, the man lifted his newly replenished sake to his lips. After some coercing, he managed to get the women to follow suit. She didn’t appear to understand him, but the way he gestured, and insisted made his instructions clear.

“I'm surprised they are going to pay us so much for these island monkeys.” He looked down at her disdainfully as he continued to drink.

“I know. By the time we make it back home, they are going to be pretty used up.”

“Just tell the boss you found her that way.” The drink must have been taking effect, because though initially loud, the man was now practically shouting to his friend. And apparently, he noticed.

“Keep your voice down. What if someone hears you?”

“These stupid mongrels don’t speak our language,” he assured him. To prove his point, he turned to the rest of the room and shouted even louder. “Fuck all you slope motherfuckers! I'm going to fuck all your mothers!”

The entire room seemed to have stopped whatever conversation they were having to have a look at the odd men doing all the shouting. But he was right. Nobody there could understand their strange tongue, so they were quickly disregarded and ignored.

Kagome, who up until now had been going back and forth between talking to Sango and trying to convince Miroku to give it up and leave with them, finally looked over to the other table. She could immediately tell that they were speaking another language, but she couldn’t put her finger on which one.

‘It kind of sounds like Spanish, but that’s not Spanish. Huh.

Long way from home, eh boys? I wonder what they are doing here...’

But she thought little of it, instead opting to comment on their obviously inebriated state.

“I guess those guys have had enough.” Sesshoumaru turned to the miko at her utterance. “It's getting kind of rowdy in here. Maybe we should go.”

She was sure he would want to leave, and hoped to rally the troops into finally getting out of there.

But to her surprise, Sesshoumaru didn’t take the bait. Instead, he turned to Miroku’s latest victim for the first time since her arrival, and leaned in.

“Who are those men?” he asked, and gestured over.

She seemed to light up at finally gaining the aloof man’s hard-won attention. With a wide smile, she was doing everything she could not to blow this opportunity to speak with him.

“Who?” she began, then managed a peek to the other table. “Oh, you mean the traders? They come from overseas, to trade with Takashi-sama... He owns this manor.”

Yes, that made sense. In his youth, those trips abroad showed him how many of these countries traded with one another. Those with the best ships and most useful goods tended to fare better among their race. They obviously did not have the benefit of flying as he and his kind did.

But those countries hadn’t made it as far as Japan the last time he was there. There must have been advancements. He must remember to keep better eye on these humans, and their achievements in the future.

“What do they trade?”

The girl thought for a second, trying to recall as best she could. It wasn’t really her expertise, but she had been there long enough to know the basics around the manor. Though not entirely sure she’d ever seen these particular traders before, others who looked and spoke just like them were constantly in an out of the village.

“Mostly weapons, I think.” She tapped her finger to her chin. “Sometimes other things, but I know they have brought guns before.”

Guns? This could be a problem.

But looking over to the men again, he was able to discern that neither was carrying one. Each man had a large hunting knife strapped to his belt, but that appeared to be all.

What they had on their ship, however, was a different story entirely.

“Do weapons interest you, my lord?”

He heard her question, but to her dismay, did not see fit to answer her. He was too busy sizing up those foreigners once again.

They brought guns from their land. Sometimes other things. But for what did they trade? Money?

Perhaps.

But he was also aware of a recent scourge among the humans on his lands.

Females had been going missing lately at a much higher rate. Young ones in particular.

He’d heard tale that men from overseas were trading their goods to wealthy lords, and in return being given young girls as slaves for the men to take back with them.

Seeing as a woman of any standing would be missed, they tended to scour battle-worn lands looking for girls who had been displaced. Ones who were unmarried perhaps but lost their fathers, so they had no protector.

There were others, sure, whose protectors were too weak, or too poor to keep them, so they traded them away for whatever riches they could acquire. But for the most part, it would not be too hard to find women whose fathers or husbands had simply been killed, and thus had no autonomy.

Sometimes they would be told they were going overseas to work for a new master, but by now they must be aware of what was truly in store for them.

He wondered which manner of female these girls were. Were they traded away by their unfit protectors? Or were they simply without family at all? He wondered if the recent demon attack had taken their fathers from them, thus leaving them ripe for the plucking. And briefly, only briefly, he wondered if those soldiers he’d killed last night had any daughters who were now on their own.

It wasn’t his fault. If those brutes had cared for their families at all, they would not have put him in the position where he would be forced to eliminate them.

His thoughts were starting to drift to Rin, and how she was now faring without the aid of her protector...

“Wow, how did I miss that one?”

At the belligerent man’s utterance, Sesshoumaru was drawn from his musings and looked over to the men once again... to find one of looking directly at them. Well, at one of them.

“Where?” The other man was searching the room, to see what his friend was talking about.

“There.” When he pointed in his direction, Sesshoumaru had a pretty good idea who he was talking about. “Look how she’s dressed. So sexy.”

The other man was looking their way now, but had more of a dubious look than a hungry one.

“She looks strange.”

“She’s exotic. Something different.” The man was practically salivating, and it made something inside Sesshoumaru burn with undomesticated ferocity.

“You want my dick, baby?”

This time, when he yelled at her in his language, Kagome looked up to find both men staring directly at her with wide grins.

The other man was laughing into his cup, and this only seemed to spur his cohort on.

“Come wrap those legs around me, and I will have you _squealing.”_

This incited more laughter. Confused, and not in on the joke, Kagome only smiled weakly and turned back to her friends.

“I don’t know that language. Do any of you know what he said?”

A combination of shrugs and head shakes was her answer.

Her dismissal seemed to anger the man now, so he raised his voice again.

“Do you yellow bitches really have sideways pussies?”

This time, since he changed from jovial to apparently angry very quickly, Kagome looked back to him again. She didn’t know what she was missing, but didn’t want to offend him.

She looked around briefly for anyone who might know what he was saying to her, but everyone else seemed just as oblivious as she was.

“Huh?” she finally asked, when it didn’t appear he was going to let up.

“Does your pussy run side to side?” He spoke slower, and more clearly, and even louder this time.

“I'm gonna find out!” he declared, and then both men indulged in a huge laughing fit.

Just writing them off as drunk, and no real threat, Kagome turned from them again, set on ignoring them if possible.

Brushing it off as weird, she and Sango went right back to their attempts at getting Miroku to leave; an idea to which he was increasingly resistant.

Sesshoumaru still had his eyes – and ears – on the foreigners.

“Ah, forget her,” the quieter of the two men said. Then his eyes flicked to their table again. “Her companions might be a problem. Let’s just take these two and leave.”

Taking his suggestion to heart, the man drunkenly reached for the nearest girl’s ass again, while she squirmed uncomfortably to get him to stop.

“You want me, don’t you?” he asked mockingly. His face was redder, and his words perhaps a bit sloppier than when he had arrived. Having gotten no response, he angrily stood, and stepped closer to her, causing her to become more afraid. He pulled her up from her seat and put her face within an inch of his own. She flinched when he dragged his finger languidly along her cheek, and he spoke clearly, and cruelly, because he knew she couldn’t understand him.

“After a few more drinks, we are going to take you onto our ship and turn you into real women.” Then, with a large grin, he reached between her legs and grabbed her roughly. She tried to push him away, but he still declared to his friend, “I think she likes me.”

The next thing he knew, his legs were being kicked out from under him with a speed that would have caught him off guard no matter how much he had been drinking.

A large barrel beside their table was close enough to hit his head on; and seeing that Sesshoumaru guided his face there on his way down to the floor, that’s what happened.

Shocked, but still with his wits about him enough to react to the threat, the man who was sitting rose to lunge while his friend lay on the floor still reeling from the unexpected assault. But before he could get up, Sesshoumaru’s fist made sharp, painful contact with his throat, causing him to double over while he choked for air.

This gave Sesshoumaru enough time to pull the knife from his belt in one fluid movement, successfully relieving him of his only apparent weapon.

The man on the floor was beginning to stir, but Sesshoumaru stopped his ascent by placing his foot strategically on his neck and stepping down. This kept the man in place very effectively, and the newly acquired blade kept the violently coughing man still as well. But just to be certain he couldn’t get away, he grabbed him by the hair and held him firmly against his knife.

Leaning forward added pressure to his victim’s neck, causing him to groan out in pain. Simultaneously, he pressed the tip of the knife into the throat of the other man, who was now doing his best just to cease coughing.

Wide eyes betrayed the fear he felt as the knife pressed even closer, finally drawing a prick of blood near his jugular. But there was a spark of rage in there too. It was that small amount of rage, marring his otherwise fearful submission that screamed at Sesshoumaru to dispatch of him now.

He must only know fear in his presence. Anything short of that he considered disrespect.

He forced his blade closer.

“Sesshoumaru, no!!”

The monk’s firm command stopped his momentum; and seemed to pull him out of his trance.

He didn’t have to look up to know that his traveling companions were now out of their seats behind him, and that everyone else in the den was now likely watching on terrified.

Looking down to his right, the two women at the table probably embodied the feelings of every other soul in the room at the moment. Eyes wide in fear. Hugging each other for comfort, while awaiting to learn of their fate.

“Perhaps you should take your leave,” he suggested simply in his bored monotone.

And then he turned back over to his hostages, leaving the shocked women a second to gather themselves.

For a moment, he thought they might remain. But luckily, they didn’t need to be told twice. At his command, the two women got up and bolted out the door.

“What’s your problem? What did we do to you?” The man on the floor apparently caught enough breath to finally speak. The one at his knife’s edge either hadn’t the breath or the courage yet.

His Japanese was very good. But Sesshoumaru was in no mood to pay compliments.

When he spared the man under his boot a glance, he pressed the knife even closer to the man’s throat, causing more blood to stream down his throat.

“You insulted This Sesshoumaru,” was all he said, and then returned his glare to the other man.

“How?” he demanded; his reply almost muffled by his boot.

Then, trying out his first Portuguese in centuries, he answered the man.

“You insulted my companion. Therefore, you insulted me.” He must have done pretty well, because fearful look of men who have just gotten caught accompanied a long silence in which they offered no retort.

“Don’t kill him!” Kagome pleaded. “They will run us out of town.”

She didn’t know what these men had done to offend him, but Sesshoumaru usually had his reasons. Though sometimes those reasons were terribly petty.

This whole episode was bad enough, but it could be forgiven. If they started killing people, they were going to have the entire village after their heads. And without Inuyasha, she wasn’t so sure they could take them.

Sesshoumaru considered her request. They were leaving in the morning. It didn’t really matter what they did.

They got all they needed from these people; they would lose nothing by having to flee.

But they had a nice room at the inn for another night. It would be a shame to put that to waste.

Leaning closer to the man, he slowly removed his blade.

“By her mercy, you live. But leave here quickly.”

When he released him, the man backed away, holding the spot at his throat that now harbored a very thin but incredibly sharp cut.

Sesshoumaru bent down, and before removing his foot, he reached out and removed the second knife from the other man. If he let them walk away, he could not have them armed.

Now holding two blades, he leaned close to his ear, and spoke the man’s native tongue once again.

“The next time I see you, you will die.” That was a promise.

When he lifted his foot, the man scrambled to his feet, and wasted no time rushing terrified out of the den alongside his cohort.

Sesshoumaru didn’t watch them leave. He was too busy comparing the two blades, deciding which one he was going to keep. In the end, he settled for both, but only tucked one into obi sash.

Finally, some weaponry. And he was pleased to find them sufficiently sharpened. He stood admiring the blade in his hand when Miroku approached him with a disturbed look.

“We need to leave. Now.”

He looked to the monk, and then to the women. And then around the rest of the den, to find the inhabitants staring at him, stilled in shock by uncertainty and fear.

A part of him reveled in it. This was what he had been missing. This is how men should regard him. How they used to. He could soak this up all day, and was tempted to.

But the monk probably had a point. With a nod, he made for the exit, with the others not far behind.

“Damn it Sesshoumaru. What were you thinking?!” he was asked as soon as they got outside. Miroku was almost pacing, and he wondered what it was that had the normally cool-headed monk suddenly in a tizzy.

“I was getting somewhere with her!”

Ah. That was is. What did the miko call it? Dick blocked? Dick barrier? Something with a dick...

“You weren’t getting anywhere, houshi.” Sango informed him, sounding incredibly annoyed. Though he was inclined to disagree, Kagome had to side with Sango on this one.

Sesshoumaru was mentally working on some retort which effectively cut down the monk’s perceived success rate with village girls, when a couple of said village girls started making their way over to them.

He recognized them immediately as the girls he had just liberated from their captors, but he was regretting his decision at their approach.

He told them to run. They were ducks in a pond. If they didn’t make use of his interference, perhaps becoming a sex slave was the only slate they were suited for.

But they’d at least tempered the monk’s increasingly perturbed demeanor.

Something akin to hope graced Miroku’s features, but it dropped a smidge when they continued passed the group to stand in front of Sesshoumaru. He stood a little straighter at their audience.

“That was incredible, Hero-sama. Thank you.”

He offered nothing. Not even a nod. But that didn’t appear to matter. That they had his attention seemed to be enough. He kind of liked these girls.

The second one spoke next.

“If you didn’t step in, I don’t know what would have happened.”

He looked down on her and offered an upraised eyebrow at her statement. The action caused them to squirm in the most pleasant of ways.

“I believe you do,” was all he had to say to that. He thought he detected a smile when they shared a clandestine glance between them.

The second one spoke again.

“Yes. It would bring my family shame to be defiled by that filth. Such pleasures should be saved for those who are worthy.”

These women were attractive.

Too attractive for the vermin they rode in with. He could see why those men captured them for their pleasures.

They let off an air of innocence, but by the way their eyes were raking him over, he was certain that they were not.

They seemed like they knew... things.

Looked like even though not privy to his particular brand of pleasures, they were experienced enough to recognize when a man was in their presence who could give them what they wanted. What they needed.

He was not a man. But he was still a male, the last time he checked. And this was a long time coming.

It was not his intent to impress these women into giving him their favor, but at the moment it was sounding like a nice benefit of his heroism.

The miko would not be so free with her physical affections, though he was certain he could crack that code when the time came.

For now, perhaps he could cool the fire in his blood a bit with the help of some grateful young villagers.

He saved their lives, hadn’t he? Saved their ‘virtue,’ as they claimed.

It was about time someone recognized all he could offer. It had been too long since someone had, and he felt it was his due.

Perhaps it was time to finally receive what it was a warrior like he had coming to him.

“You are staying at the inn, right? You are those travelers asking about our demon attack.”

The first girl had regained her boldness and addressed him once more. While the others in his pack scoffed dismissively, he entertained her request.

“Indeed. Have you any information regarding tiger demons or the like?”

“No, I'm afraid we don’t,” she admitted sadly. “But perhaps, given some time to think about it, we will remember more. We could come to your room tonight and... see if anything comes up.”

Kagome rolled her eyes, as she had done when Miroku spouted his lame pick-up lines. Only this time, it had not panned out as she expected.

“That is acceptable.” Her eyes drew incredulously to Sesshoumaru. Was he so oblivious?

“Not too late, however. We must depart in the morning.”

The first woman smiled coyly, very pleased with her progress.

“So little time,” she all but pouted. “But we will do our best to make it worthwhile for you.”

All were openly listening to this suggestive exchange, and none could believe what they were hearing. But all for different reasons.

The two women shared another glance, then turned their attentions back onto the man that had rescued them from a most terrible fate. They offered him a grateful smile.

“Until tonight then, Hero-sama.”

A soft giggle was heard before they turned and scurried off out of sight.

The group all watched them leave with varying degrees of incredulity.

Once out of hearing rage, Miroku stepped forward, and approached Sesshoumaru with a big dopey grin on his face.

“That was incredible!” So excited he was, he forgot himself, and clapped an audacious hand on the Western Lord’s back. For which he earned an incredulous eyebrow of his own. “Great job, my friend. And one for each of us, too. How fortuitous.”

Looking back menacingly at the spot the monk had touched him, he was drawn out of his stupor when the miko approached at his side.

“Yeah, um, Sesshoumaru... those women don’t want to come over and talk about demon attacks.”

“This One is aware.”

This incited a pause, in which Kagome tried to understand why he would agree to such a thing.

“But they won’t be able to help us.”

“Perhaps not you,” he began, sticking his nose in the air where it was comfortable. “But This One may benefit from female attention.”

She had nothing in the chamber for that response. She turned her thoughts inward, and eventually gave up on answering him altogether.

Seeing her difficulty, Sesshoumaru ushered her along. He was tired of this location.

“Come along. Let us continue our search.”

And when he boldly took off ahead of the pack with a confidence he hadn’t displayed since his transformation, she wondered what being a demon last night had done to him... and what she could do to correct it.

* * *

She waited the rest of the day for him to tell her he was joking.

That this was all some elaborate hoax, intended to punk those ditsy females into thinking he was interested, and then dash their aspirations to bits.

It wasn’t necessarily funny. But then, he wasn’t really a funny guy.

But he was also not the type of guy to hook up with human randos while on a serious quest to save his ward.

Still, she worried.

Because Sesshoumaru never joked. Even if Inuyasha may have insinuated that he was capable of duplicity, he never promised to do things he had no intention of seeing through.

And the sun was setting.

Soon, those women... those _girls_ would be coming over, and then what was going to happen?

The prospects made her sick, though she wasn’t entirely sure why.

He had been holed up in his room with Miroku ever since dinner. And instead of waiting rather impatiently for a couple of floozies to show up, Kagome finally decided to take charge and see herself into the guys’ sleeping quarters.

Deciding last minute against barging on in, she opted to announce her arrival through the thin front door.

“Enter,” was all she heard, and she obeyed.

Miroku sat quietly upon his futon. Legs crossed, he appeared to be in a deeply meditative state.

Across the room, she’d spotted Sesshoumaru, doing something she... had definitely not expected to see him taking part in.

Long, black hair in hand, he appeared to be about halfway through going all Brittney Spears on her and chopping off the majority of his impressive mane.

Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration. But he did have his midnight locks in one hand, with his newly acquired hunting knife in his other, slicing through the hair near the top of his neck.

“What are you doing?” she demanded, rushing over to his side.

“Cutting my hair,” he replied simply, not pausing in his actions as he successfully sawed away the rest of what trailed behind him.

She turned again to Miroku, to find him still meditating.

“Shouldn’t you be helping him, at least?”

“I offered. He rejected,” he informed her with a shrug. “I saw no need to press the matter.”

Stepping closer, she fought the urge to touch his short, if choppy new haircut.

If it was still silver, she might have cried.

“Why?” was all she could ask him. He managed not to show his amusement at her apparent, unjustified sense of loss.

Something occurred to her in the time it took him answer, and it made her irritable.

“Getting ready for your _date?”_

He shook his head, and felt through his strands, judging the uneven sides with a sigh.

“Long hair is reserved for the powerful. It taunts your opponent. Gives them an extra opportunity to best you. One strong pull could easily see your throat cut. I no longer can afford such indulgences.”

She supposed he had a point, though she never thought of it that way.

What had happened that made him think of this? That made him admit to it?

As much as she’d always secretly admired his gorgeous hair, she never considered how good he might look with a more modern do. And where the black version of his long hair made him look like an underwear model, this short, cleaner cut made him appear more like a movie star. Or else, it would have if he’d done a better job of it. But with no mirror to work with, she decided he hadn’t done half bad.

Despite her frustrations with his evening plans, she couldn’t ignore the part of her that was dying to give him a makeover.

“Well, at least let me clean you up,” she offered eagerly. “I have some scissors in my pack, I will be right back.”

And before he could protest, she was out the door and back. A short, quick sound escaped Miroku in her absence, but as soon as Sesshoumaru looked over, he was already back to his meditation.

She stood behind him as he allowed her to even out his very crude haircut. She left a little on the top, while taking the back and sides down about as much as she could without a razor. For a moment, she wondered what he would do to her if she screwed it up, but that was the nice thing about cutting a man’s hair; if it looked terrible, you could always just cut more.

She went along, trimming and snipping about his head, and found the process surprisingly soothing. With a task before her, she felt like she could relax, as if his dome was a bonsai tree. Or a rock garden, maybe.

As it came along, she mused that it wasn’t her worst haircut to date.

When money was tight around the shrine, she had been forced to cut Souta’s hair on several occasions. She had gotten a bit better since then. Too bad she didn’t have a bowl, though.

She remembered how nervous he was right before his first date with that girl from his math class. She was nervous herself about fucking up his hair that night, but both were relieved when she had given him an acceptable cut. And if she remembered correctly, he had received his first kiss that night as well. Not that she was taking full credit for that.

It only reminded her of what Sesshoumaru had planned for the evening, and she considered fucking up his hair on purpose.

“It just doesn’t seem wise,” she offered after she was mostly done. She was just finishing up the small chunks of hair she had missed on the side. “We have an early day tomorrow, and you are going to spend the night with two women?”

She tried to come off as admonishing. But as she said it, it sounded like she was offering him up another simple challenge right on a platter. A challenge which he more than likely was up to achieving.

His haughty response confirmed it.

“Even in this form, I am certain I can handle myself.” He shifted his pupils upward, to try and judge her reaction as she put on the final touches. “You are welcome to join us if you like. I can easily pleasure all three of you.”

She paused at the insinuation, ignoring the choking sound from the man across the room. She was sure he was joking. But it wasn’t funny. None of this was funny, as a matter of fact.

Good thing she was done cutting hair, because she was done humoring this strange conversation.

He could see how upset she was getting. But even though she gave away much, he gave up nothing.

Though he had to admit; it did take some work to restrain the amused smirk that threatened to crack apart his flawless mask. She was just too easy.

“Those condoms in your bag,” he started, hoping he pronounced the word correctly, “may I have one?”

It took a moment to settle in. But when it did...

“What?!”

He tried to put on his most innocent façade. Though, that one usually ended up making him look the guiltiest.

“In this form, I cannot detect if a female is fertile. Nor can I discern any disease she might carry. Despite their claims, those women appear less than virtuous, and This One would not like any afflictions as a reminder.”

There was just so much to unpack from that statement.

He pretty much confirmed that he planned to have sex with those girls, which was... not what she wanted. But how did he know about condoms? How did he know that she had them? She nearly forgot that she did.

There was only one explanation.

“You went in my bag?!”

He figured by now, that the haircut was over. So he stood and brushed the remaining black hairs off his shoulders and chest.

“Hn. I was looking for your washboard,” he explained casually, not making eye contact. He had a feeling that wouldn’t fly.

She was still holding the scissors as she sputtered. Perhaps he should have relieved her of them first, as she had only grown angrier since their conversation started.

“You knew that wasn’t in there! How could you invade my privacy like that?”

He shrugged. But as far as offenses went, she was shocked to find that was not the most egregious of them.

She could have forgiven him for going through her bag. But that he now planned to go off with some horny village girls... that was what made it unacceptable. Asking to use her prophylactics with _them..._

“And how can you even think of doing something like this? You are supposed to be focused on finding Rin. You have all of us going way out of our way to help you. And you decided you are going to man whore it up when we are supposed to be focused on our mission? You’re a pig!”

When he narrowed his eyes and took a step forward, he was a bit perturbed, and excited to find that the miko hadn’t considered taking even a half a step back. His façade remained icy, however.

“It does not concern you. And why is it of any consequence? You do not bat an eye when the monk constantly womanizes.” Neither noticed when the monk in question made a show of acting offended. “Why should it matter to you unless...” When he paused, she simply waited quietly, expectantly for him to continue his argument. But it seemed like in that moment, he just realized something. She was more than eager to learn what that thing was.

Unfortunately, he remained as tight-lipped as ever. With a small, knowing smirk, he regarded her with it for a long moment, before finally giving his cryptic reply. “Ah,” he began condescendingly as he pulled back, “now I see.”

He turned his back to her, seeming now more interested with fussing over his new hairstyle than conversing with her further. This annoyed her to no end.

“What?” she demanded. She couldn’t see his smug grin, as his back was still to her.

“You want This One for yourself.”

“Oh, fuck you.” She responded in exasperation. His smile never faltered, however. It was exactly the reaction he was expecting.

“Hn. That is your desire, is it not?” He wished he could turn around. He had visions of steam shooting out of her ears in a way that was no doubt priceless. But he had to keep his cool.

“You have got to be, the most self-centered, egotistical dog I have ever met! I don’t want you. I can’t even stand you.” She had been approaching him slowly throughout her mini tirade. But when she was not a hands breadth away, he turned sharply on his heel and took her by surprise.

“Then why do you care whom This One patronizes?”

He wondered if she was more startled by her dangerous attempt at threatening him, or the implications, and possible answers in respect to his pointed questioning.

Either way, he noticed how she sputtered a moment before answering his condescendingly expectant demand.

“Because, we are on a mission to find Rin,” she finally responded, “not a mission to get you laid.”

This time, when he stepped closer, she did retreat... If only slightly. But he was slightly put off that when he drew his face uncomfortably close to hers, she did not waver.

Searching her with his eyes, he would have been taking in her entire scent if he was a dog demon still. His voice was low, and slow as he responded, as if wanting to ensure she understood every word.

“Are you certain you simply cannot stand the idea of me ravishing a woman who is not you?”

She did fairly well at reining in her outrageous reaction to his statement... until he kept going. “Perhaps your little pink massager is not sufficient to your needs?”

She couldn’t hide it anymore. If he knew about the condoms, then he knew about the vibrator, and that was just... unacceptable. It was disturbing, and unacceptable and surreal.

She didn’t owe him any explanations. She didn’t owe him anything!

And for a guy who claimed to hold honor in such high regard, he was sure taking an awful lot of liberties going through a young woman’s- a young _human_ woman’s- personal things.

But she couldn’t let him win. He wasn’t going to get the better of her.

She hated how amusement danced in his eyes while a plethora of emotions washed over her normally sympathetic features. She was ready to blow.

“You know what?” she asked, much more calmly than he had been expecting. He watched on curiously as she crossed back over to her bag and pulled out the unopened box of condoms her stupid mom had bought for her. She shoved them into his stomach, and he could do nothing but accept them. “Here. Take all of them. God knows I don’t need them.”

When he took them from her, she threw her hand up into the air and turned away, flustered. “Go, fuck your way up to the Northern Lands for all I care. Just don’t come complaining to me when you are exhausted tomorrow.”

Did men ever complain about being tired the day after having copious amounts of sex? Would being a human render him to such a whiney state?

Before he could formulate an answer, she had reclaimed her backpack, and stormed out of his room in a snit. He chanced a look over to Miroku, who only offered a casual shrug, as if it were something he encountered on a regular basis.

* * *

When she got back to her room, she found that Sango was already out like a light. Apparently, the sake did help aid her in getting to bed early. Kagome would come to envy that decision.

Seeing no reason to remain awake, the miko decided to follow suit. After getting ready for bed, she tucked herself in tight and bunkered down for the evening.

But she was too upset to sleep. Her mind was racing a mile a minute at what the night held in store for her neighbor. Funny, even though Sesshoumaru wasn’t a demon anymore, it didn’t stop him – and Miroku for that matter – from behaving like total dogs.

She tried to shut the world out; ignore everything so she could get some rest because really, it shouldn’t be affecting her this much. But when she heard the two giggling females from the den walk past her door and be given access to the guys' room, she physically felt ill.

She wanted to sleep; to believe it was possible for nothing to be happening in there. But when she started hearing... noises; obvious noises from at least one of the girls, she knew it was foolish to believe that anything else was occurring.

Soon, the sounds of the other girl reaching pleasure hit her ears, and she took her pillow and shoved it over her head. At least _they_ were having a good time. It sounded like the two girls were taking turns all night long reaching orgasm after orgasm.

She guessed Sesshoumaru wasn’t lying about being able to pleasure all of them easily. But then, when did he ever lie? This went on late into the night until, much later than she would have hoped, the miko was finally able to treat it like white noise and fall asleep.

She woke up even more upset.

It was one thing if he wanted to struggle through the day in exhaustion because of his inability to control his most basic urges. But just due to proximity, he had made her an unwilling victim to his night of incredible pleasure as well.

Well, that’s fine. If he wanted her to be a bitch all day, he had succeeded. And she knew who was going to bear the brunt of her displeasure.

Sango was still asleep when Kagome woke, and she decided to get breakfast started as long as she was up. Her reeling thoughts and imagination made it impossible for her to get back to sleep.

But before she finished getting dressed, she heard the door next to hers closing, and the two females who had so rudely kept her awake with their pleasure were tip-toeing back outside.

She decided to exit her room because, well, a little humiliation was in order. She heard them bidding a very giddy goodbye to their host just as Kagome was leaving her room. But when they eyed her shyly as they began their walk of shame back to whatever hole they crawled out of, she found that her superiority didn’t make her feel any better.

Thinking it best to keep herself distracted, she left to fetch water to boil and began doing just that as she readied the oatmeal cups for her companions to consume.

When she made it back to the fire pit, she noticed Sesshoumaru already standing there. Still in his clothing from the night before, it appeared. Never much one for breakfast, she figured he must have worked up quite an appetite last night, if the noises he induced were anything to go by.

But she wouldn’t let him see how upset she was. She decided to play it cool.

“Well, you look like shit.”

He raised an eyebrow as he watched her struggle to put the heavy pot upon the already started breakfast flame.

“Good morning to you too, miko.”

She might have been biased, but she wasn’t wrong. For as rested as he looked after his night as a demon, he looked twice as bad now. Not as bad as when he had been beaten up, but the dark circles under his eyes almost made it look like he had taken a couple more shots to the face.

Maybe he had; she didn’t know what weird kinky shit he was into.

And she didn’t want to know. She avoided eye contact as she worked on breakfast, totally not enjoying how amused he appeared to find this whole situation. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of acknowledging it.

“Like I said, I'm not putting up with you slacking today. So if you are tired, you are just going to have to deal with it.”

With his focus fully on her, she expected his biting response. But before he had the chance to give it, a very tired, but very happy Miroku made his way out of the room; dressed and bright-eyed and bushy tailed as she had ever seen him.

When he drew closer at a very quick speed, she was worried he was about to grope her. She hoped he would try, as she was in no mood today. She was looking for an excuse to put a male in his place as physically as she was able.

But, to her surprise, he bypassed her completely and made a beeline for Sesshoumaru.

He both seemed to expect the audacious bear hug he was consumed by, and to be shocked the incorrigible monk would have the nerve.

“Thank you! Thank you so much, my friend.”

To his own surprise, all he did was peel the grateful man off him, instead of pounding him unconscious. He probably knew that in his current state, the monk wouldn't have minded in the least.

“You enjoyed yourself then?” he asked, doing his best to create some distance. Kagome only watched on, thoroughly confused.

“Giving me one was generous enough, but both of them?” His dazzling smile was entertaining. And the look on the miko’s face was enough for Sesshoumaru to forgive the friendly arm being slung around his shoulders by a monk who seemed by all accounts ready to die in that moment. Accenting his point, the lecher squeezed him tighter. “Best night of my life! Your brother can take a hike, you are my new best friend!”

This display was too surreal, and Kagome was too tired to assemble this strange puzzle.

“What?” was all she asked, praying someone would make sense before she lost it.

Miroku was happy to oblige.

“Our wonderful ally here made himself scarce all night long so I could enjoy those beauties to my heart’s content.” At his declaration, Kagome turned to Sesshoumaru just in time to see him finally remove the monk’s offensive arm from his person. That didn’t stop him from issuing praise.

“They were disappointed at first to learn that Hero-sama would not be joining us. But they were more than happy to pass on their gratitude to this handsome young monk in your absence. This guy is amazing!”

“Where did you go?” She hated that pleased little smirk on his face, as if he had gotten the best of her again. But as he tried to act nonchalant, she could read his excitement in informing her of her misinterpretation.

He studied his nails casually as he deigned to respond.

“I went to inspect the ruins myself. The dark made it difficult to detect, but This One was able to discern that it was indeed a water elemental which attacked this village.” At her dumbfounded silence, he continued. “Thus, the tigers must indeed be travelling northbound, as cats and water are constantly at odds. And that Jaken is headed primarily north, I will suggest to Inuyasha that he focus his search to the east, to cover the most ground possible.”

So, that’s what he was doing all night? Following leads? She didn’t know what to say. Why, then, did he let her believe-”

“If you will excuse me, I am exhausted.” Miroku’s gleeful declaration interrupted her thoughts. “I am going to try to get some shut eye before Inuyasha gets back. I love you, man! Enjoy your breakfast!”

She was happy to be rid of that lecherous monk for a time. But watching him go, she couldn’t deny the foreboding she felt at being left alone with the self-important, gloating former daiyoukai.

Maybe if she just ignored him, he would go away...

“Are you pleased?”

Damn. She knew it was too much to hope for. You know what they say about assuming. And Kagome had a feeling he was going to make her feel the burn of her scandalous presumptions... and how they affected her so.

Still, trying to save some face, she responded casually.

“I am glad we are heading in the right direction.”

But as she tried to brush past him, he called after her, stopping her in her tracks.

“You know that is not what I am referring to. Does it please you that I did not lay with those females?”

Oh, she knew what he was talking about. And for all her accusations, he deserved to get his own answers. So graciously, she stopped, and turned back.

His pleased smirk was just too much. He gave himself away, though she had the feeling he wanted to. He had nothing to hide anymore. But did she?

She couldn’t help but smile weakly in the face of her own misstep.

“Well, you were out all night anyway, so you are still going to be exhausted.” But all he had to do was lift his brow expectantly, and she caved. She really was a victim of her own conscious. She relented with a sigh and finally gave him what he was looking for.

“But yes, I am relieved that you didn’t do it.”

Taking a predatory step forward, she only backed up halfway.

“Why is that?”

His remaining, admonishing upturned eyebrow became a heavy weight to bear. He seemed to tower over her, and she began to buckle under the great pressure of him.

She turned again, returning her attention to the oatmeal cups she had been preparing.

“Why do you suddenly care about my opinion? Are you actually starting to take my feelings into account?”

She tested the water with her fingertip. And though not yet boiling, it appeared to be more than hot enough to use. She withdrew her finger from the scalding hot water and put it into her mouth to sooth the pain.

“Perhaps.”

She turned from her food preparations as she continued to blow on her burnt fingertip. Seeing the earnestness in his gaze; hearing it in his voice, she realized she believed him. Realized he meant it.

From where she crouched before the fire pit, she regarded him seriously over her shoulder for several long seconds, while he patiently waited.

Coming to a decision, she stopped blowing cool air onto her finger long enough to give the answer he was waiting for.

“Hm. That’s good.”

She put the tip of her digit back between her lips, wetting it again so the cool air had more affect.

As she did this, she gave him a nice long up and down, seemingly scanning everything he currently was into her memory, and smiled.

“Very good.”

As she blew more cool air onto her scorched skin, she relished as she watched him smirk in return. And then, she found herself answering in kind.

Pleased with her response, he finally was satisfied enough to leave her be. With his signature air of highness, he declared,

“If you don’t mind, I believe I will also attempt to get some rest before the hanyou comes to retrieve us.”

He made to leave then, and she appeared ready to let him. But something inside him was left unfulfilled. And before he made it out of there, he decided that he simply could not help himself. He had more to say.

“You know, miko. If you wished to stand in those female’s stead, you need only have voiced it.”

He watched her back stiffen as she paused again. But that wasn’t his intended goal this time. Before, he had relished how obviously discomfited she was when forced to examine her recent behavior. And while gratifying, he desired more than to simply force her to acknowledge his desirability.

He waited for a reply, and she did not disappoint.

“Trust me, that is not what I wanted.”

That was what she insisted. But her back remained to him. Sure, she had chores to do, but to him it seemed like she couldn’t look him in the eye and say such a thing. He was going to make her.

“If that is so, then I still fail to understand you taking issue with my associating with those women. And do not say it is because you worry about me simply being tired.”

He was creeping back to her, and she must have been aware. For before he reached her, she turned to face him, almost as if to ward him off. But from what?

At her silence, he pressed further.

“You do not wish me to lay with them, yet you do not offer yourself up to me either.”

This had started as some sort of game to be won between them. Maybe it was only he who viewed it as such, he couldn’t be certain. But as things progressed, he found he only accrued more questions regarding her. And loathe as he was to admit it, she was the only one who could sate his curiosity.

Facing him fully once again, he watched with unobscured intent as she slowly produced her tongue long enough to wet her parched lips. He couldn’t tell if the move was for him, or because of him.

“So you’re saying that I need to sleep with you to keep you from sleeping with anyone else?”

He could tell she was curious. But mostly, she voiced incredulity.

“Precisely, yes.”

Not the answer she wanted. And recognizing that caused his enjoyment to soar yet again at her reaction.

“Oh, that is just so-”

“Just so what? Rational?” In her distraction, she had foolishly allowed him to draw dangerously close.

If he were a demon, she would be close enough to bite. To kill. But now, for the first time, he didn’t know what he wanted to do with her. All he knew was, he wanted her right there.

He gave her a moment to gather herself. She was working with an obvious handicap, and it was no fun to play the game with one so incredibly outmatched. He liked the sport, so he gave her time. He was patient.

Finally, with a sigh, but never dropping her intense blue eyes from his own, she answered him.

“Look. Maybe I'm curious,” she admitted. He preened. “But I won't be blackmailed. You aren’t going to give me an ultimatum.”

“That is exactly what I am doing.”

He was fascinated. Captivated by her.

The deepness of his eyes, even though not occupied by a demon, still were enough to scramble her brain upon intense scrutiny.

“What?”

He had the urge to lift his nose, for his explanation required a deep delve into his regal pedigree. But he didn’t want to look away. All he was willing to do, was continue looking her straight in the eye, holding that piercing gaze he couldn’t believe he’d never noticed before, and tell her the truth. So, he did.

“I am a highly sought, highly desirable male, apparently even in my human form.” His hubris urged her to roll her eyes, but he didn’t give her the opportunity. “It is ridiculous for you to demand I remain celibate on the off-chance you may one day deign to lay with me. If you will not, there are many who will. You overvalue your worth. I suggest you assess your value to me. Assess your value to society while you are at it.”

It was strange to hear him speak this way. It was beyond strange to hear him talk about sex. This incredibly weird subject matter was enough to put her brain on a path to insanity. Likely aware of his effect on people, and having said his piece, he turned on her again, intent to leaving her his cocky little message to stew in until she saw him next.

But her brain did work. With a clarity she hadn’t been expecting, or hadn’t ever tapped into, she was able to see exactly what he meant. What he wanted.

And because of that, what she wanted was as clear as day to her. Well, at least what she knew of what she wanted.

Finally, she felt she could articulate herself. And she wasn’t going to let him leave without doing so.

“Okay wait.” Surprised by her command, he absolutely halted in his tracks. Only a small measure of shock was enough to show how affected he was, and he didn’t attempt to hide it. He turned again, and she had his full attention.

“You’re a blunt guy,” she began. And she wasn’t wrong. She had his undivided attention. “While you may not be tactful, I know that you are honest. And I know that just because other guys aren’t as _rude_ as you, they also probably aren’t as truthful. Many of them may in fact feel the same way as you, but you are straight up with me, and I appreciate that.”

She was babbling, but she was brave. He respected that. So despite her ineloquence, he deigned to grant her his audience, for as long as she wanted it. He simply listened, devoid of any reaction.

“And because you are straight up with me, I’m gonna be straight up with you. You have earned that much.”

When she took a step closer, close enough to touch him, he didn’t back away.

“The truth is, there is something about you that interests me. I don’t know what it is, but I can’t deny that it’s there.” He smiled at her admission. Just as he’d suspected.

“But I’m not going to be rushed, and I'm not going to be pressured into doing anything that I am not ready for.”

Her honesty intrigued him. This was the most upfront the miko had ever been with him about anything. That it centered around her feelings towards him was... gratifying.

“And _my_ ultimatum is this: You’re a big boy. You can do whatever you want, and I am not going to stop you. But if you go off and mess around with other women, I am no longer interested.” Her forward declaration shocked him, and he actually had to work at keeping his famously stoic mask schooled in place.

“That will be it for me. And I'm not promising anything is going to happen. Like, at all.

“But if you even want a shot at being with me, you are going to have to resist the advances of any other woman who may throw themselves at you. Maybe you can’t, I don’t know.”

Oh, she knew what she was doing. In challenging his will, she was setting him up to fail if he was not up to the task. She really was a crafty little thing.

“But that’s how I feel. Maybe it isn’t fair, or strategic, or whatever... but that is my red line. And if you don’t want to do it, that’s okay. But that is my requirement to even be in the running.”

No female had ever spoken to him this way. Not even the most high status of female within his own youkai circles had been so bold.

Here she was, this small, human miko, making demands of him... he’d never seen anything like it. It was... beyond exciting. All he could do was listen to her.

“If you go around screwing other women, you can just forget it. It’s up to you. That’s all I'm going to tell you.”

And then, she turned from him.

 _She_ turned from _him_... He didn’t know if it was because he was human or what, but this woman’s gall had his mouth absolutely dry.

He wanted to rise to her challenge.

He wanted to meet her requirements. Meet his match.

In a daze, and watching her go, he could do naught but turn to do the same.

But as soon as he did, she surprised him again. Stopping him with her captivating voice, he refused to turn back to her. For if he did, he wasn’t certain that he couldn’t return to his room with his dignity. Or even with his honor.

“But if you can restrain yourself, I just have to say... your chances aren’t as ‘off’ as you might think. That’s all.”

But with that, he snapped his neck around back to her so fast, he nearly injured it. Only, it wasn’t fast enough to catch her eyes before they set back on her path to head off to her room.

He decided he couldn’t go back there. He needed some space from the miko, for as long as he could manage.

* * *

It was only another hour before Inuyasha finally returned. Seeing as everyone else was still tired, no one objected when Sango suggested the two of them take a nice long ‘walk’ while letting the others rest a little longer before heading to the next village.

Sesshoumaru was still napping when Miroku finally emerged. It wasn’t close to enough sleep for him, but seeing as how his night had gone, he would not be complaining.

In fact, Kagome had a feeling he would not be complaining about anything for a very long time. Maybe that was part of Sesshoumaru’s plan.

With the girls’ room packed up and ready to go, all that was left was for Kagome to wait on her friends to return.

Miroku exited his room to find her sitting on a rock, and apparently taking in the scenery of the inn one last time before they ventured out. He joined her at her side, sitting down as well.

“Are you alright, Kagome-sama?”

If she turned to him then, she would have only caught the sight of his contemplative face staring out into the distance. But she didn’t.

“Are you upset with them?”

She didn’t have to ask who he was talking about. He probably noticed how she was staring off in the direction the two lovers had disappeared down.

He didn’t know if she was going to answer. And to be honest, it didn’t matter if she did. He just hoped she knew she could confide in him.

To his relief, she did respond. And thoughtfully, at that.

“I am upset, but not at them. Not really. It's just, this whole situation...”

He waited patiently for her to continue. Waited for her to find the right words. He didn’t want to rush her with his scrutiny, so he kept his gaze as distant as hers was. “I feel like my life just got turned upside down in an instant. I was so sure we were going to be together, and then... I guess I'm kind of mad at myself for being so stupid.” With an ironic smile to herself, she continued. “But I can’t really be mad at them for how they feel.”

When she looked up, she found he was already staring at her, full of sympathy and concern. It only made her smile linger.

“What about you?” she ventured softly. “I mean, I know you were seeing other girls, but... you were in love. And now she is with your best friend. Don’t you hate him?”

With a genuine smile, and not a moment’s hesitation, he shook his head.

“No.”

“How can that be?” She really wanted to know. How could he not feel any resentment for what happened? With all that had happened, how could the precious relationships in his life remain untainted? Maybe it was a Buddhist thing...

“One day, my wind tunnel is going to open up, and swallow me whole.” His blunt statement startled her, and she regarded him with a startled sadness at the reminder. “I have known this my entire life. And though I have always proclaimed that I wished to create many children to leave behind a legacy, the truth is, I simply wanted to enjoy my time while I had it.”

This conversation was starting to sound achingly familiar, but she didn’t interrupt.

“When you know for sure you are going to die, you don’t want to waste your life living in regret. You don’t want to miss out on anything. I wanted to experience everything I could in this life. That was my mantra, and I remain true to it.”

She realized in that moment why he and Sango had gotten on so well before. A shared understanding of their likely fates gave them something big to have in common. Was she the only one who didn’t live like she was going to die tomorrow? Was that a mistake on her part?

“I thought when we killed Naraku, that my wind tunnel would disappear. We both know now that it didn’t.” As he wriggled the fingers on his cursed hand, both sets of eyes were immediately drawn down to it.

His plastered, forced smile did not hide the pain in his features. And she didn’t even try to hide her own. “And for a brief moment there, I thought that maybe I could be a normal man. Have a normal life, with a beautiful wife and children.” His fake smile finally fell, and he looked sadly down to the ground beneath his feet.

“But even if my curse was removed, I know now that it never could have been.” Finally lifting his gaze to her, she was floored at the normally lighthearted, joking monk’s deathly serious expression.

“I am not a one-woman man. I never have been. And even if I began this lifestyle out of fear of meeting my maker prematurely, that is just who I am now. I am _that_ man. And as much as I love Sango, that was never going to change.”

He was pouring his heart out to her, and it was difficult to endure. He was admitting that in his mission to find purpose in a life that could be taken at any moment, he had lost the part of himself that could ever have had what he had once considered a normal happy life.

In living a life where he was forced to keep others at a distance, it rendered him now incapable of that closeness he had once yearned to achieve.

It was too late for him now. He could never go back.

“But honestly, I am glad she left me.” And with his casual smile, she felt like he meant it. But at the same time, she wanted to tell him that he was wrong. That he could still have that life, if it was what he wanted. But he was reserved. She didn‘t have it in her to interrupt the worldly man who had taught her more than she had even realized, until now.

“Because one day, not terribly far from now, I will meet my fate.” And she immediately knew what he meant. Even if she could forget his fate for days on end, she knew that he never would.

“Even if she is not in the vicinity when I go, she would still be harmed by the fact that her husband - the father of her children - was gone. I do not want that for her.”

This was making her horribly depressed, and he seemed to have realized that. Because when gazing on the young miko once again, he smiled. Only this time, it was genuine.

“Inuyasha is a good man. He will care for her well. And as much as it does bring me pain, it brings me more pleasure to know that she will be loved, and cherished. So no, Kagome. I do not hate Inuyasha.”

All this time, she thought he had been being a cad. Been careless with the heart of the one he loved most, and who loved him in return. But now she could see that it was that love for Sango which ultimately forced him to drive her away.

He cared for her so much, that he did not want her to endure the pain of ever losing him. And sure, he wasn’t a total altruist. He slept around because he enjoyed doing it. But in the end, he really wanted what was best for Sango. What was best for all of them.

And as much as it had to hurt, he was happy that she found someone who could treat her as she deserved. He was happy enough that she was happy, and it seemed to give him peace.

Could she do the same thing? Did she love Inuyasha enough to let him be in love?

She could.

She wanted him to be happy. And if he was happy with Sango, then she was happy for him.

She thought she couldn’t approve of it because she loved him too much to do so. But it was that very love which allowed her to let him go.

She thought she might cry, but she really didn’t feel like breaking down. To hide her pain, she tried her best to lighten the mood.

“But maybe all those women you see helps to ease your pain a little?”

At her accusatory glare, he chuckled.

“Indeed it does. Perhaps you should try it. A wild night of passion might help you get over your broken heart.”

And now he was back. His large, boyish grin and his waggling eyebrows got her smiling again, and she was grateful for it.

“Pfft. No thanks. Inuyasha and I weren’t even a couple. We never even had sex.”

She completely expected it when he grabbed her by the hand and looked deeply into her eyes.

“Know that all you need to do is ask, my lady. I would be more than happy to aid you in getting through this grief process.”

She yanked her hand away from him.

“That sounds like a terrible idea.”

“It is a fabulous idea!” he declared, throwing an arm around her shoulders and leaning closer. “The loves of our lives have gone to each other. It only seems fair that the two of us could indulge in carnal pleasures as well.”

When she shifted her gaze uncomfortably to the ground in front of her, he regarded her thoughtfully.

“Or perhaps Sesshoumaru-sama would be able to assist you.”

“Oh, god.” She finally shoved his arm off her dramatically.

“Talk about a great guy! That man is my new best friend,” he reiterated. Suddenly, his grinning face turned serious, and he wagged a condemning finger at her in warning. “On second thought, stay away from him! I need him free and clear to help me get girls. I don’t know how he does it, but that man is a genius.”

The gears were turning in the monk’s head, as he thought of all the ways he could use the fairer sex’s apparent attraction to their newest member to his benefit. Kagome scoffed.

“The only women you are going to get using Sesshoumaru as bait will be shallow harpies. His looks are his only redeeming quality.”

He scowled in her direction.

“Do not talk about my best friend like that.”

She rolled her eyes and looked away.

“Whatever.”

She didn’t see the knowing smile he bestowed her with in that moment.

“You admit that he is good looking. Though I wouldn’t say he is any more attractive that me.”

“He is. Quite a bit.”

She laughed at his frustrated huff.

“You women are crazy. Don’t know a good thing when you see it.”

At her continued laughter, he couldn’t help but join her.

* * *

Inuyasha and Sango returned a short while later, looking a bit more disheveled than when they had departed. His rumpled clothes, and the twig in her hair were telling, but instead of mentioning it, the rest of the group simply did their part in containing their laughter. This seemed to confuse them a bit, but they elected to let it drop.

After Kirara was all packed up and ready to go, Inuyasha approached Kagome, and asked if she was ready to get on his back.

“No, that’s okay. You should take Sango.”

Her suggestion surprised him, and he floundered a moment.

“Are you sure Kagome? Cuz I really don’t mind if-”

“Nah, its more appropriate.” Her gaze shifted to Sango, who was acting like she wasn’t listening, and she smiled. “Miroku can take the reins on Kirara, right Miroku?”

The monk grinned his charming grin and hopped up onto the fire cat.

“Absolutely. But only if I have the pleasure of you sitting behind me.”

Waggling his eyebrows suggestively had the half demon scowling, but he made no moves to prevent the new traveling arrangements. He was excited at the prospect of carrying Sango with him, but he silently communicated that the monk better watch his hands.

Kagome hopped on behind him and lightly grabbed onto his robes.

“Hold onto me tightly, Kagome. It can be a bumpy ride.”

“You better not try anything, pervert.” But she had a feeling she was in for some turbulence.

Sesshoumaru got on last. Situating himself in the back to keep Kagome protected between them, he made himself comfortable behind the miko in the middle.

She turned shyly to him just in time to see Inuyasha take off out of the corner of her eye.

“Hold onto me, Sesshoumaru. In case the monk tries anything stupid, we don’t want you to fall off.”

He rested his hands gently on her hips. The way her legs were spread on either side of Kirara had her feeling much more sensitive to his touch.

She tingled as he leaned into her. And when he lowered his head to speak lowly into her ear, she shivered.

“I must warn you, miko; once I’ve got you, I hold on tight.”

She felt as much as heard every word. His lips brushed her ear with every syllable, sending a jolt of excitement through her entire form. Aware of his effect on her, he smirked in smug satisfaction.

As promised, it was a somewhat rocky ride. It might have been partially due to Miroku not being quite as practiced at steering Kirara as Sango was, but she was willing to bet money it had equal part to do with him trying to get her to grab him out of fear.

One particularly harsh jolt seemed to take Sesshoumaru by surprise. And in reaction, he wrapped his arms snugly around her middle, causing her breath to hitch in her throat.

She wondered if he had really been worried he’d fall, or if he too was taking advantage of the bumpiness of the voyage... She decided it didn’t matter as he gathered her more closely against him.

Hours had passed soaring through the air. The next village on the itinerary was very far away. And due to being out all night last night, Sesshoumaru somehow managed to actually fall asleep while they flew.

Kagome marveled at that. She couldn’t even fall asleep on an airplane.

She felt when he slackened behind her, relaxing his weight to press against her back. His chin was on her shoulder, and she let his even breathing sooth her haywire nerves.

His grip on her hips loosened, and his hands started to find their way down her thighs. She thought he was doing it on purpose at first, but each twist and turn in the air had his fingers moving across her legs in time with Kirara’s movements.

His hands were slipping lower, getting dangerously close to the juncture between her thighs. She felt the heat pooling down there, and she found herself wishing he would move his fingers just a little closer to touch her more intimately, and satisfy her increasing, burning desire.

Another jolt in the air had the pad of his index finger graze her swollen pearl, which was incredibly puffy from his maddening, teasing touches.

“Careful Miroku. Sesshoumaru is sleeping.” Her command sounded husky to her, and she hoped Miroku didn’t notice.

She felt herself almost coming undone at these jerky motions, so against her baser wishes, she finally put an end to her torment and placed her hand on his wrist, shaking him awake.

He finally came to, lifting his head off her shoulder, and righting his hands so that he was holding her hips again like he had been before. Not that it wasn’t any less enjoyable.

“Did you have a nice nap?”

He seemed a little embarrassed that he had been caught sleeping. He shouldn’t allow himself to get so vulnerable where so many people could see.

Wanting a distraction, Kagome remembered something she had been wanting to ask him.

He never did tell her what made him attack those men with the knives yesterday. So, with the others distracted, she finally asked.

“What did those men say before you attacked them?” she asked quietly. But she knew he heard every word. “Yesterday, in that den...”

Damn. He thought she had forgotten. He didn’t want to have to explain it to her. Such things were not fit to grace her eardrums.

He remembered how angry he had been, when they had disrespected her. His feral reaction had bothered him. But not as much as it bothered him when she demanded they be spared. That was something else he didn’t want to tell her.

He was recalling the night before, and what he had really been doing.

He said he was at the ruins, but that was a lie...

_Last night, while Miroku was reaping his spoils, he was in search of a ship._

_And he found it._

_No, he hadn’t returned to his demon form again last night, but that was why he needed to get his revenge._

_He could not waste any time spent as a demon on petty things like revenge. That was why he needed to settle his scores in his mortal skin._

_He’d found their docked ship, tracked those foreigners down._

_When he found them, they were passed out drunk. That was no surprise. And he first took the opportunity to locate all the other women being held prisoner on their ship, and set them free._

_A harsh kick to the ribs then roused one of the men out of his stupor. He still had the wound he had given him in the throat with his own knife._

_The pained yelp woke the other man up, and they both stood up in a flash, preparing to defend themselves._

_They recognized him immediately, and he reveled once more in the fear he was able to incite when just simply recognized. He smiled maliciously._

_He still had the knife he had taken, and he held it out in front of him menacingly. The men raised their hands in defense._

_“What do you want?” he asked, his voice shaking in fear._

_“I want to ask about what you said to my companion,” he told him calmly. “What is it that you asked her?”_

_Trembling, the man thought for a second._

_“I-I don’t remember.”_

_Sesshoumaru pressed him further, unsatisfied._

_“Something about her pussy, I believe. What did you ask her?”_

_He never repeated himself, so it was a very bad sign for them that he did._

_He could tell by the way his eyes widened that he suddenly remembered what he had said. But he was afraid to tell him._

_“Come on. You asked if it ran a certain way. Which way was that?”_

_Backed against a wall, there was nowhere for him to go. All he could do was give the terrifying man what he demanded._

_“S-Side to side?” he all but stuttered. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow._

_“Like this?”_

_With a quick, powerful motion, he slit the man’s throat crossways with his own blade._

_He gurgled as he bled out in seconds, while Sesshoumaru only watched. The other man looked on terrified, too afraid to speak. But Sesshoumaru wanted to wait until he was dead before he started in on the other one. So they watched, and waited in silence._

_When it was clear he was finally dead, he lifted his gaze and began to slowly approach the second man._

_He seemed to know his fate. He knew there was nothing he could do. So, he decided, there was no point in groveling._

_“I don’t see what the problem is. Their pussies do run side to side.”_

_Though his evil smile remained, his eyes narrowed dangerously as Sesshoumaru continued to stalk forward._

_“Have you had a look at it? Maybe she will show you.”_

_And with another quick cut from side to side, another throat was slit. He finished the job he had started in the den._

_He watched that man bleed out too, which an immense sense of satisfaction and accomplishment._

_Then, after wiping the blade off on the dead man’s clothes, he turned around to head back to the inn._

Kagome was looking over her shoulder at him expectantly as they flew atop of Kirara, hoping to get her answer. But he would give only one.

“Nothing.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal Rising anyone? Anyone? 
> 
> Now and then I pay an homage to a movie, and this was it. Let me know if you liked it. It’s usually a mixed bag when I do something like that... 
> 
> Also, most people seemed to appreciate me not getting too gory with Sess’s murder scenes, and I agree. It’s just not that fun to write. 
> 
> But for those of you who wanted some... here was a little, I guess.. Not terribly graphic, but I hope that appeases you a bit, lol XD


	18. Four Letter Words

It was still light when the travelers reached their next village, but the sun would soon begin its descent; rushing rapidly upon the land until finally getting swallowed up by the horizon in the west. With it too would go the warmth that had sustained them generously throughout the day’s journey, and offered respite from the freezing winter cold they had left eagerly behind them. 

They were pleased to find this village was not ravaged by storm so mercilessly as theirs had been. Roads and roofs were bare of snow, and only sparse spatterings of white were visible in the treetops that lushly covered the surrounding land. 

Quite fond of sunsets, and desirous of soaking in the last remains of daylight before another long, dark night was upon them; the miko of the group found her way to the gardens alone and claimed an unoccupied stone bench which granted an unobscured view. 

General Yakimoto was the revered leader of this village’s army. As such, he was accredited with much of the success the large town had enjoyed against the threat of numerous foe - human and demon alike. 

Apparently, he was compensated well for his efforts. For the mansion he shared with only his housekeeping staff was the nicest Kagome had ever seen in this era. Maybe in hers too, if you didn’t miss technology or plumbing. 

The garden was beautiful and well-kept and large, and she was looking forward to later when she would be granted a more in-depth tour. 

Inuyasha had really outdone himself this time. While he had been out and scouring the lands on his own, some light networking and his dog demon nose led him to the General who was somewhat of a local hero. 

He’d never met the man before, nor had he ever heard of him. But some youkai he had encountered in his solo search for Rin had pointed to him as a promising resource. 

If a demon caused any problems in his village, General Yakimoto was the one who took care of it. If a youkai even set foot in this town, he was immediately informed. But the General was an anomaly in that despite his lifetime protecting his people from the youkai threat, he harbored no ill-will towards demons in general. 

He was only interested in removing the trouble makers; he had no quarrel with peaceful demons passing through. In fact, a good deal of his success was likely attributed to the valuable alliances he had made with them over the years, and the treaties they begat. 

His study was home to very detailed catalogues, accounting where any attacks near his village took place, and when, and any known reason behind it. He took extra interest in the breed and families of those he’d done battle with, so that he may recognize any patterns and predict future incidents. 

It was a well-made connection on Inuyasha’s part. Very well-made. Because luckily for them, the General was also an incredibly generous man. Inuyasha had come to his door simply looking for information on the tigers. And though nothing had yet come to mind, he insisted on having the determined half demon’s group stay with him as his guests. While there, he promised to comb through his notes and see if he found anything they may consider useful. It was a huge stroke of luck. 

The rare opportunity to live in such luxury made it a fine time for Inuyasha to take a break. He would sleep there tonight to recharge, and enjoy a good meal before heading off tomorrow and venturing ahead as planned. 

From Kagome’s place on the bench as she prepared to take in the view, she could see across the gardens that she wasn’t the only one with this idea. Bent on enjoying every spare moment allowed them, Inuyasha and Sango had claimed a seat on a low, sturdy branch protruding sideways from one of the trees. She was tucked into his side as they huddled close, and waited to witness which colors nature would be providing. 

Kagome sighed wistfully as she watched them happily chat, wondering what kind of things lovers say to each other. Inuyasha and she used to sit in trees together all the time. And even though not romantic – at least, not on his end – those were some of the best times the two of them had shared. Trees made him sweet. Something about them lowered his guard, and opened his heart quite a bit. 

When they leaned in to kiss, an involuntary gasp escaped Kagome’s throat. 

She still just wasn’t used to it. Seeing him with someone. She didn’t disapprove, but it was just going to take some time. 

A good minute into the kiss, it was still ongoing. Getting deeper and... more involved, and making Kagome blush. 

She hadn’t meant to keep watching. She knew it was rude. But the graphic display was like a car wreck, and she just couldn’t look away. The couple threatened to steal the show from the disappearing sun. 

She was so engrossed in the private moment between her two packmates that she barely even noticed when another claimed the seat to her side. 

“I didn’t know you liked to watch. A woman after my own heart.” 

It took a moment for the words to register, and that’s when she finally acknowledged the incorrigible monk. 

“They weren’t doing that when I sat down,” she justified, turning back to watch the show. “I don’t think they know I am here.” 

“I don’t think they care.” 

She responded with a small, sheepish grin as his smile reached his eyes. “They’re sure moving fast, huh?” 

Miroku gave a noncommittal shrug and settled back in his seat. 

“It's what happens when you’re in love.” 

Of course Miroku wouldn’t consider their progression anything out of the ordinary. He earned a cocked, mocking eyebrow from the miko at his side. 

“Then you must fall in love every night.” 

“Sometimes twice,” he confirmed with a wink. 

She had to laugh just a little. It was exactly what she had expected. She turned back to the enthusiastic kissers and continued to voyeur wistfully. 

“That doesn’t sound like love to me. Love takes time. It grows slowly. Needs to be nurtured.” 

“Not always. Sometimes you just know.” 

But while she was watching the lovers, Miroku was watching her. 

There was so much she didn’t know. So much she had yet to understand about the world. He worried that if she continued to shelter her heart from the elements, she may not ever learn to let someone reach it. 

“I think the sex clouds the judgement. They’re so eager to hop in bed that they are willing to believe what they feel is love.” 

And then there were her views regarding sex. She seemed to believe it was a roadblock to the love she desperately craved. And she in no way entertained that it could actually be the bridge to it. No matter how often he tried to relay that simple message. 

He smirked. 

“Says the woman who has never had sex, or been in love.” 

She blushed at his accurate assessment. She thought she was in love, only a few short days ago. But that turned out to be a misjudgment on her end. And quite a big one. 

Not wanting to examine that little fact at the moment, she tried to change the subject. 

“So, that General Yakimoto seems nice,” she began casually. Miroku, a gracious and perceptive man, was willing to let it drop. 

“Indeed. It was very generous of him to offer to let us stay at his home, particularly such a nice one as this.” 

And it was nice. It was such a treat not to have to sleep on the dirt, or weasel their way into an inn. They were given everything they needed. They didn’t have to find food, or use up their precious rations. It was the main reason Inuyasha decided to use this night to get his rest. 

“Yeah, I gotta give it to Inuyasha. I hope he has the foresight to find us a place to stay every time he goes out. It would save us a lot of trouble.” 

“And afford us greater luxury,” Miroku easily agreed. 

It would be so nice to get this kind of treatment everywhere. But both travelers had a feeling that this was not going to be a common occurrence. So they would enjoy the comfort while they had it. 

“Speaking of which, where is the General?” 

Kagome leaned back, and finally removed her attention from the still aggressively making out couple in the distance. Miroku, however, was somewhat distracted by the display. 

“He has Lord Sesshoumaru sequestered away in his study. When he realized who he was, he was quite eager to get some professional advice regarding his military strategies.” 

“And Sesshoumaru agreed?” 

It was Sesshoumaru’s intention to keep his identity on a very need to know basis. If word got out that the Lord of the West was suddenly human, there would be many after his title. Not to mention his life. 

If this knowledge began to spread, the results could be devastating, so it was agreed upon not to mention it. 

Luckily, his lack of markings and silver hair made him unrecognizable to the majority of humans. It was only for his clothing, and the General’s elevated position in the military which allowed him to put the pieces together. And he had sworn to keep his mouth shut in return for assistance should his village ever require it in the future. He was a rather good negotiator. 

“Of course. The General is doing us quite a service allowing us to stay here. Not to mention, I believe in return he had offered up some scrolls that may help us on our mission.” 

“What kind of scrolls?” she asked curiously, only to receive a casual shrug in return. 

“You will have to ask him. I am but a humble monk.” 

That was another thing. The General had valuable information at his disposal. They’d hit the jackpot as far as records regarding any attacks in recent history. 

And if all he wanted in return was a little advice on waging war, they were certain Sesshoumaru found the terms perfectly acceptable. 

“I think he has a little crush on you.” 

The comment out of nowhere startled Kagome from her leering. Wide eyes seemed to inquire how perceptive the monk really was. 

His knowing smile was telling, and Kagome relaxed a bit at the chance to share her burden. 

She hadn’t told anyone else yet, and she really needed some advice. 

“He’s definitely interested,” she agreed with a sigh. “I just don’t know how serious he is.” 

“He already spoke to you?” Now Miroku was finally compelled to tear his eyes away from the other entertainment. His incredulous reaction had Kagome shying back a bit. “But we’ve only been in his home for an hour! I have to say, this is my kind of fellow.” 

Realizing her mistake, she tried to backpedal quickly. 

“You meant the General? Oh, I-” 

“Who did you take me to mean?” 

But it didn’t take a genius to figure it out. Her blush said it all, and the lecher did his best at keeping his reaction passive. 

He didn’t want to embarrass her; then she wouldn’t tell him anything. He had perfected methods of extracting this kind of information. 

Plus, she looked like she needed a sympathetic ear. 

“I see. What did Lord Sesshoumaru say to you?” 

There was no use denying it. She hadn’t planned on telling anyone because really, there wasn’t much to tell. And she didn’t want to inform others of what was occurring in her love life until she knew herself. 

She gave an exaggerated sigh, slinking in her seat and turning her troubled gaze to the freshly cut grass below. 

“Pretty much that I needed to figure my shit out. He told me to ‘assess my value.’” 

Miroku frowned. He would have wagered Sesshoumaru was not the sweet nothings type. But he wondered if the inexperienced woman might have been assigning connotations that perhaps were not intended. 

“That... doesn’t sound incredibly romantic. Are you certain you interpreted him correctly?” 

“Well he kissed me.” She eyed him mockingly. “How else would you interpret that?” 

The monk was smiling wide. Now this what he was looking for. His response to her bold confession returned the pink to her cheeks. 

“Did he now? That changes everything.” He shifted his whole body to face her, and indulged in one eager clap. “Okay, details. Where did he kiss you?” 

“Back at the inn.” His face dropped in a way that told her she had missed the point completely. 

“No, I mean _where_ did he kiss you?” 

Waggling his brows for emphasis made his sly grin appear even more suggestive. He earned a short laugh for his efforts. 

“On the lips, of course. Where else would he kiss me?” 

Leaning in slightly, he locked his gaze with hers. 

“Which lips?” 

Those eyebrows waggled again, and she finally huffed indignantly. With an incredibly large eyeroll, she stood and prepared to leave. 

“I can’t even talk to you.” 

A defeated chuckle escaped him. He knew he had a problem. He just couldn’t help himself. 

“Sit down, I’m sorry.” 

She glared as he tried to stifle his enjoyment, but her threat was only half-hearted. She needed someone to talk to, and Miroku operated with more discretion than most. 

When he grabbed onto her arm, she let him pull her back and guide her to her seat once more. 

Though he’d gotten his amusement under control for the most part, a small smile still played at the corners of his lips as he watched the young miko nervously resituate. 

She was so woefully underprepared, despite her desire to be desired. 

It was strange for her age, but her innocence was endearing. 

“I take it you enjoyed this kiss?” 

“Not at first,” she admitted all too quickly, and began picking at her sleeve as a form of distraction. She furrowed her brow a bit as she forced herself to recall the less pleasant portion of that evening. 

“He said some awful things to me. He made me say terrible things too. I was so angry at him, and I definitely didn’t want him touching me like that.” She stopped her fiddling as she recalled how the incident had progressed. “But then halfway through it, yeah. I was enjoying it.” 

It had really been bothering her, and she didn’t know how to interpret her reaction to him. 

She knew she didn’t want to feel this way. Not for him. But she refused to lie to herself and insist there was nothing exciting, or enjoyable about the way that kiss had turned out. 

She wondered if there was something wrong with her. Something with her judgement. Because when looked at logically, she knew the smart thing to do would be to just ignore her stupid hormones and write them off as a superficial attraction to a very attractive man. 

Like, ridiculously attractive. 

That had to be all it was. She’d once prided herself as not being as shallow as a certain other female member of the group, so she shouldn’t let herself be blinded by his handsome face and impressive physique. 

But yet, she couldn’t get that kiss out of her head. 

The way his tongue commanded hers. Giving orders and encouraging obedience. 

But at the same time, he was permissive. He seemed slightly astonished when for a moment she tried to take charge of the encounter. And in that brief instant, it appeared that he was willing to let her. That he was eager to hand over control for once, and would even know pride if she could manage such a feat. 

And then there was the way his lips felt. The way they moved in time with hers, and told without words exactly what he wanted from her. Despite being horribly mangled by an opponent, it did not hinder their power, or her ability to enjoy them. 

How the taste of him was not deluded by the traces of blood they wept, but accented fantastically in an unforgettable concoction that was not only unique to him, but unique to that night. To that specific experience. She could still taste it. 

How his hard body pressed into hers with obvious need; trapping her unnecessarily, and reminding her of the night she had saved him. Forcing her to remember bare skin and deft hands. 

But how did they get there? How did things escalate so quickly? 

“It’s the strangest thing. One minute we were screaming at each other, and the next...” 

Miroku smiled knowingly at her distant expression. He was patient as he waited for her to return from her reverie. 

She mentally shook herself, and fixed her troubled expression on her good friend. 

“I don’t know what to do. I can’t deny there is something there, but I just don’t know if he’s good for me. He brings out a side of myself that I really don’t like. I think he brings out the worst in me.” 

Wide, imploring eyes turned helplessly to the experienced monk. “Should I really be around someone like that?” 

She looked legitimately distraught, and all mirth in her predicament washed away as Miroku took on the role of a therapist of sorts. 

“What do you believe he brings out in you?” She seemed to struggle a moment as she tried her best to articulate. 

“I mean, I’m a pretty compassionate person, right? I feel like I can be kind to just about everyone.” 

He nodded in agreement, though he got the feeling the question was rhetorical. 

“But when I’m around him, he seems to enjoy making me lose my patience. It’s like he’s always pushing me into saying the meanest thing I can think of. I feel like he is trying to drag me into the gutter with him; prove that I’m not as nice as I thought I was.” 

Miroku noticed her knuckles turn white as she clenched her hand tightly into a fist, but chose not to comment. 

“Lord Sesshoumaru can be... very blunt.” 

“That’s exactly what I told him! But I like that about him. I find his honestly very refreshing.” 

Gripping his own chin between his fingers in contemplation; he was trying to assemble everything she had told him into an accurate, if not simple, problem statement. “Then, you like that he tells the truth, but maybe you just don’t like what the truth happens to be?” 

By the way she deflated, he thought he might have biffed it. 

“Are you saying you really don’t think I am a good person?” she asked timidly, earning a warm smile from the monk. 

“Of course not. You are the kindest soul I have ever encountered, and I am sure the others feel the same. You are an angel in a world of demons.” 

She seemed to relax at his assessment. And though still deeply troubled, she appeared grateful for the compliment. 

“But Lord Sesshoumaru _is_ a demon. In his heart he is at least. He isn’t used to dealing with anyone as selfless as you. I would wager that any kindness he is shown is generally out of fear, or with the intentions of receiving something in return.” Putting his arms in his sleeves, he tried to drum up what his travels and teachings had taught him. Kagome listened to the scholar with undivided interest. 

“The youkai world is transactional. Nobody does anything out of the kindness of their heart. Everyone has an agenda. Maybe he is just trying to suss out yours. He may not yet conceive that you are helping simply because you wish to help him.” 

She hadn’t considered that, and the prospect saddened her a bit. 

Did all demons really only help each other simply for reciprocation? And didn’t he know by now that she didn’t want anything from him? She’d promised to help, so that’s what she was trying to do. 

Though to be fair, he still didn’t know exactly _why_ she felt so inclined to help him. If he knew about her wish, it might be easier to understand her motives. But that, she’d already decided, was not a good idea. Not yet, anyway. And maybe even not ever. 

“Whatever you think it is he brings out in you; it appears that he likes it. He did kiss you, after all.” 

She fought off another blush as he resisted the urge to smile at her. Neither was faring well in their endeavor. 

“Well if he just wants me to be a bitch, he can find someone else to spin up. I don’t want to be mean all the time. I don’t like to feel hatred.” 

Yes, he would imagine being cruel did not come easy to the girl. It was probably even painful for her. 

She never offered a harsh word to anyone, even if they deserved it. The thought gave him an idea. 

“Maybe he just wants to know what you really think of him,” he tried with a shrug, and elaborated at her puzzled expression. “Lord Sesshoumaru is a great leader because he leads by example. He expects nothing of anyone he does not also adhere to. He can demand brutal honesty from others, because he practices it himself. In his eyes, the worst thing a leader can be is a hypocrite.” 

She still didn’t understand. Just because he acted like a jerk, he wanted everyone else to as well? 

To what, validate his awful behavior? Did it make it okay as long as she did it too? 

Was that how he elevated his status; by bringing everyone else lower? 

“It is possible he is using drastic measures to force you to be straight up with him.” He smiled sympathetically as she still tried to comprehend. “You are kind, Kagome-sama. But in showing kindness, you tend to gloss over the traits in others that would perhaps be considered unpalatable. I don’t know if you simply don’t see them, or if you downplay them to be polite.” 

She sunk a bit at his gentle accusation. 

She knew how others saw her. Knew how her upbeat optimism and unshakeable cheer made her appear naïve to the people in this time. 

But with all the tragedy they seemed to encounter on a near daily basis, she thought it was important to keep everyone’s spirits up. 

“I know not everyone is 100% good,” she conceded. “Nobody is. I just don’t see the need to point out everyone’s shortcomings. Even flawed men deserve to be treated with compassion. Especially them.” 

“Perhaps, but I’m willing to bet Lord Sesshoumaru does not appreciate the courtesy. He would rather someone be cruel and honest than kind for politeness sake.” 

He was a bit taken aback by her abrupt, unladylike scoff. 

“Yeah right. Let's just ask how many of his servants back West are encouraged to pop off at him.” 

“Maybe you’re right,” he agreed with a chuckle. Actually, he was quite certain of it. “But maybe he has a different set of standards for those he considers his peers.” 

“You really think he considers me a peer?” she asked dubiously. “I’m just a ‘lowly human’.” 

“At the moment, so is he. And he did kiss you. I doubt he goes around doing that with just anyone.” 

Her thoughts turned sour as she remembered their last conversation. 

“He might if I didn’t tell him not to.” 

Miroku hid his surprise at that confession. Both that she would demand such a thing, and that the handsome lord would oblige her. 

He’d seen the man in action. He certainly had no trouble garnering the right kind of attention for himself. If he was willing to give up all that for Kagome, then perhaps his interest was deeper than she seemed to realize. 

“You expressed doubt in his intentions. If he is avoiding contact with others just to please you, that sounds serious enough to me.” 

“Is it though?” she asked, and gestured to the – wow, still going at it – couple in the tree, and hoped her dog-eared friend has been too distracted to eavesdrop. “I’m not like you, and Inuyasha and Sango. I can’t get involved with someone just because I am attracted to them if I am not positive they are going to stick around. I get attached. And something like that is going to be a big deal for me. What if,” she looked away shyly, “ _something_ happens between us, and then he gets bored. Or decides he doesn’t like me-” 

“Or changes back into himself,” the monk supplied helpfully, suddenly attuned to her reluctance. 

“Exactly. Or finds Rin and goes home. I just don’t know him well enough to judge his intentions yet.” 

“Then get to know him,” he suggested, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. “I don’t think we are finding young Rin tomorrow, unfortunately. And we aren’t any closer to figuring out how to change him back to the way he was. We’re all going to be spending a lot of time together, so use it wisely. He’s a patient guy. I’m sure he can control himself.” 

As uncertainty swirled and accumulated in her aura, his sly grin returned. 

“Unless, it’s not _his_ control you are worried about.” 

That earned a glare, and he backed down immediately. 

“And of course, you could always just ask him. You just said you trust him to tell you the truth. Ask him what he wants to do.” 

He could understand her conundrum, and it only betrayed her inexperience. But he fought off the urge to tell her what was obvious. 

There is no certainty in things like these. There is no way to be positive that someone you grow to care for is going to stick around forever. It’s the chance everyone takes when falling in love. And even when two people promise to stay together, he was well aware it was often not the way things worked out. 

But her situation was admittedly an unusual one. Everything regarding her tended to be. 

She was just going to have to figure out what she was willing to risk to give things a try. And how much trust she was willing to put into a man who was occasionally their adversary. 

“You’re right. Thanks, Miroku,” she said with a grateful smile. 

He bowed his head in reply. 

“Any time.” 

With one last look at the couple in the tree, she decided she’d seen enough. She’d already missed the sunset while the two discussed her problems, and the pinks and oranges that remained would soon yield to the dark winter night. 

She turned back to her friend, and clapped her palms dramatically on her thighs. 

“Well, I’m gonna go find the General. He said something about a tour. You coming?” 

But he was already turned from her. 

“No, I’m going to stay and watch a bit longer.” 

She shook her head as he continued to leer into the tree as if he were studying a painting. 

“Such a pervert.” 

‘But a helpful, well-meaning pervert.’ 

Before she began to stand, however, the subject of their conversation was spotted approaching on their side; coming out from the mansion. 

Kagome flustered a moment, and Miroku used the opportunity to rise before she got the chance. He used her shoulder to aid his ascent, and prevent hers. 

“There’s Sesshoumaru-sama!” he announced once the man in question joined them at the bench. “That must mean the General is free to give me that tour. You may take my seat.” 

Miroku gestured insistently as he got out of the way. And before Kagome could object, Sesshoumaru was sitting beside her. 

“But you-” 

“I will send him your way when we are through. Tah-tah.” 

He turned so fast to make his way out of the garden that he never got to see the impressive glare she was leveling at him. And that was a shame. 

“I had no idea you were a such glutton for punishment, miko.” 

She tore her gaze away from that damn monk to look at the man beside her inquisitively. 

But he was not looking at her. His eyes were across the garden, watching on distastefully as his little brother made a fool of his father’s blood right out in the open. 

“Why else would you subject yourself to such torment?” 

She thought he was referring to the feelings she had for his brother. But the way his lips curled in unconcealed disgust told her that maybe it was the torment they could share. 

She smiled, enjoying his objection, and turned to watch with him. Somehow, with him there, it made the whole thing a little easier to stomach. 

“Oh, I’m not. Actually, I was thinking it’s kind of cute.” 

The scandalized expression she glimpsed out of the corner of her eye made it well worth the effort. 

His eyes shifted to look down on her, and he found it was easily a sight he preferred. 

“In that case, you and I have severely different definitions of what could be considered ‘cute.’ I find the display repulsive.” 

“I’d be interested to hear what the Western Lord considered cute.” 

She turned to smile up at him, and he managed to hold her gaze for several heart-stopping beats. Ironically. 

When it became too much, she turned back just in time to see their connected tongues venturing outside of their mouths, and blanched. 

“Okay, maybe it is a bit sickening.” 

“Hn. Indeed.” 

She turned back to him fully, intent on ignoring whatever else was taking place in her periphery at the moment. 

“But still, it's kind of sweet. In times like these, with all those two have gone through... It’s nice that they are able to carve out a little love for themselves. Its romantic.” 

She was still coming to terms with their relationship. But she decided that since there wasn’t much she could do about it, she might as well be happy for them. Her talk with Miroku earlier in the last village had helped put things in perspective. 

“I will never understand you humans’ obsession with love, and romance.” 

She smiled back sadly, because it wasn’t exactly a surprise. 

“Demons must fall in love too. It can’t just be a human thing.” 

“Perhaps not,” he easily conceded. “Though it is something that tends not to be thrown about so frivolously.” 

She supposed she could see his point. At least demons didn’t appear to put up any pretenses when it came to their feelings. Lying to themselves, or their partners was useless, and considerably more difficult. 

“Weren't your parents in love?” she wondered. She could have sworn she heard the regal man snort. 

“Hardly. Like most demons of power, their union was strategic. Carefully constructed to foster powerful alliances, and breed strong, powerful children. I am the result of such a union.” 

She looked on sympathetically, and tried to decide if that was what his folks had told him, or if it was just how he had observed them. She hoped he had a loving upbringing at least. But by the way he acted, she kind of doubted it. 

“That doesn’t mean they didn’t love each other. Don’t you think it was possible?” 

He continued to cast down at her suspiciously, trying to discern her motives. Or why she would possibly care. 

“My parent’s attraction to one another was never in dispute. Being the strongest and most desirable of their species made it biologically impossible not to be drawn to one another. And with time, affection was borne as well. But love is something rarely sought after in youkai circles, and even more rarely found.” 

Falling in love tended more often than not to be a hinderance to more logical ambitions. You couldn’t get ahead if you let your emotional attachments guide you away from acting in your own best interests. 

It was why it was seen as a weakness. You need to be able to control your petty desires in order to see your kind and your family line flourish. He knew first-hand what could be wrought if this well-known plight was ignored. What was the point of being in love if you were not strong enough to protect it? 

“My father loved Izayoi.” He wasn’t sure why he offered that information. Something about the way she was looking at him made him want to throw her a bone. 

Her sympathetic smile took on a more fawning quality. 

“Aww. He told you that?” He tried not to shift uncomfortably as he was forced to recall that relationship. 

“He did not have to. There was no reasonable explanation for that ill-fated attraction. I find in such cases, matters of the heart often play a role.” 

His attention returned to his brother as he spoke. It was hard to ignore the fruits of that union as he spoke of it. 

“And still, he had to step outside his race to find another foolish enough indulge him. Love is an affliction of humanity for the most part. I still fail to understand it myself.” 

It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear. Having a man who she was considering starting a relationship with tell her he thought love was silly and wanted no part of it was certainly disappointing to a romantic like her. 

But she held out hope that maybe things could change for him. 

“It's not a bad thing,” she tried. 

“It clouds one’s judgement.” 

He spoke with such certainty that he earned himself an uneven smirk. 

“How do you know if you’ve never been in love?” she taunted. 

His sideways gaze slid down to her condemningly. 

“Exactly.” 

She faltered. She supposed she was also speaking of something in which she personally had no experience. Just like Miroku had accused, she was projecting her ideals as if she knew what she was talking about. 

But so was he. 

Seeing as she had just about as much experience as him in the matter, she decided to let it drop for now. 

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment. Pink conquered orange as the clouded sky seemed to stretch endlessly across the horizon, and beyond where they could view. 

She looked past the couple cuddling in the tree, and wondered not for the first time what a sunset looked like to a demon with superior vision. Was he missing that right now? Did he even have a frame of reference? 

Or did he not bother with such indulgences back when he was himself? 

She wondered if seeing particular things made him ache for his previous form, and what those things could be. 

“So, how are you doing with the whole humanity thing? Getting some insight to the human condition?” 

He sat up a little straighter, and tried to look offended that she would even suggest such a thing. Despite being a simple mortal, he still knew how to brandish his superiority well enough to make you feel like a bug. 

“I always knew humans were weak and foolish creatures. My time in your skin only confirms it.” 

She pushed down her annoyance at his continued casual insults. He was trying his best to distance himself from the body he was forced to walk around in. But it still hurt to hear him speak of her race like they were nothing but insects. She’d hoped he would have grown a little, or would at least start caring enough not to _try_ and hurt her. 

“Haven't you learned anything? Maybe developed a little more _understanding_?” 

His look said it all. Maybe she was just projecting ideals again. But still, she tried to make a case for it, and it was her turn to straighten. 

“Well, I like you better this way.” 

“You do.” It wasn’t a question. His bored monotone sounded more like he agreed with her. 

“Yes. You’re more approachable. A little easier to talk to.” She paused just a moment to try and regard him coyly. “And it's kind of cute to see your vulnerable side. I wasn’t so sure you had one.” 

He looked thoroughly scandalized, and she had to repress her giggle. 

“Not to mention, you don’t look half bad human. Figures you would wear it better than most of us who have been doing it our whole lives.” 

The compliment seemed to mollify him a bit. He enjoyed the way her eyes took a slow pass over his body. It was nothing compared to its former glory, but he found he took solace in the fact that she seemed to approve. 

And he had to admit, as far as human bodies went, she hadn’t done too poorly herself. The cold weather had seen to her hiding it lately with her longer, more protective clothing. But the mansion was well heated, and the sun had been out. So she had slipped back into the green skirt she for some reason preferred. 

Now that he thought about it, he preferred it too, and seeing her exposed legs once again reminded him of the cave, and all he had seen of her that night. 

He hadn’t appreciated it at the time, and he wished he’d taken a moment to do so back when he had the chance. Perhaps there was still time... 

“So there really isn’t _anything_ you’ve enjoyed about being human so far?” 

Her question tore him from his lament, and he withdrew his longing gaze from her bare skin to distract him from his thoughts. But with nowhere else to look, he refocused his attention to his half-brother in the distance, and the sight of the lip-locked couple brought forth another memory involving the girl at his side. 

“Our kiss... was not unpleasant,” he finally admitted. Begrudgingly, but not exactly with a gun to his head. 

She smiled in triumph at perhaps being the highlight of his misadventure so far. Her cheeks were beginning to match the clouds, and she tried to respond with the same confidence he usually emitted. 

“Of course not. I’m a good kisser,” she bragged, but she really didn’t have much to go by. Still, she gave another coy smile and decided to tease him a little. “You could use some practice.” 

“I am not opposed.” She laughed at his quick response, and deadpan delivery. It was so weird to see him flirt, but definitely not unwelcome. She wondered if he was always this way with women, or if his human side was bringing it out. 

“See, now you’re sounding like a man. Maybe you do need to get laid.” 

“Also, not opposed.” He was looking at her more intently now. But when she flushed, he finally allowed a small smirk to grace his cruel lips, and he granted her reprieve by releasing her from his gaze. 

“Okay, you’re starting to sound like a dog again.” She smiled shyly to herself and tucked a wayward lock of hair back behind her ear. “I think you are spending too much time with Miroku.” 

As she attempted to avoid his gaze, he took the opportunity to appreciate her soft, unassuming profile in the light of the sunset. She really was stunning. 

“Perhaps I am keeping other stimulating company.” 

When he looked at her this time, there was an earnestness in his eyes that doubled her heart’s pace. The way his features softened just a little encouraged her breath to hitch. But she gathered herself, unwilling to flounder foolishly, and tried once again to tap into the confidence he inspired. 

“Did you just say I was pretty?” she asked, trying not to sound hopeful yet yearning for that confirmation. She wanted him to say it plainly, because Sesshoumaru didn’t lie. 

That’s why his word meant _everything_. Why his opinion was so important. She knew she could trust him to tell her exactly what he thought. All he had to do was call her beautiful, and she would know she was. He could make or break her with just a single word. 

“You are stunning,” he gently informed her, causing her heart to soar, “for a human.” 

And then, just as quickly, he dropped it on the ground. 

“And, were back,” she muttered into her chest. Her hopes had never been that high to begin with. 

Disappointed, and a little hurt, Kagome stood. Brushing the dirt off her butt, she tried not to look terribly affected. 

“Where are you going?” he asked. 

She took him in again, recognizing the slightly confused expression he now wore. The sight actually softened her a bit. 

He was trying. She couldn’t imagine how difficult this change must be for him. And really, compared to how he used to be, he was actually coming along incredibly well. She smiled reassuringly. 

“I gotta go. General Yakimoto is going to give me the tour. Later, Sesshoumaru.” 

He nodded in understanding, and watched as she brushed passed and hurried back toward the mansion. 

* * *

“Where’s General Yakimoto?” 

Kagome entered the dining area where the rest of the group was sitting. After showing her the kitchen and instructing the chefs to make whatever his new guests wanted for dinner, the General was surprised when Kagome begged him to let her prepare the meal herself. 

The kitchen was fully stocked with anything she could imagine, and the selection of meats his hunters provided left the possibilities nearly endless. She would never get the chance to cook like this again; not in this time anyhow. Besides, she didn’t feel comfortable making the staff do something she knew they could handle easily on their own. 

The General helped get the meat going before leaving her to it. He had business across town and wouldn’t be back until tomorrow. 

It was clear she knew what she was doing, and he was charmed and amused at her determination. 

And the cooks certainly didn’t mind retiring early one bit. 

“He had some business to go see too. He said we can make ourselves at home.” 

The meat had to cook for a while, so Kagome took a little break and joined the others around the table. 

The three friends were playing a game with the cards Kagome had given them while Sesshoumaru watched on and tried to learn the rules. 

She squeezed in next to Sango, and the taijiya tried not to smirk at the girl. 

“Such a generous man,” she began faux-causally. Deceptively cool. “And so handsome, too. I think he likes you, Kagome.” 

This earned a snicker from the hanyou sitting beside her, and she lowered her eyes in embarrassment. 

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” she asked shyly, still not looking at them. 

“None of us got the _personal_ tour. Did he show you his _bedroom_?” Sango asked, sticking her elbow in Kagome’s side. 

“It was a tour! He wasn’t up to anything.” 

“Uh huh. Maybe you can get him to help us. Just ask him _real_ nice to let us borrow his army. He might even want to come along.” The slayer’s smile grew as she finally played her hand. When she threw the cards on the table, Inuyasha and Miroku groaned and surrendered their cards. 

Pushing the pile aside, Sango dealt Kagome into the game. 

“He’s got plenty to do here. Besides, he’s helped enough.” 

Kagome arranged the cards in her hand, while the other woman seemed to be looking right through her own. 

“But he’s so large and muscular. If I wasn’t with Inu-” 

“But you are, so stop yappin.’” She flashed a grin at his jealous reaction, and tried to peek at his cards before he pulled them against his chest with a scowl. 

They each played a card, and it was Sango’s turn to draw. 

“I’m just saying, maybe after this is all over, Kagome might want to come back for a visit. He looks like he can take good care of you. Look at this beautiful house.” 

Kagome wasn’t really worried about Miroku repeating their earlier conversation to the others. Especially now that he was no longer with Sango. And from the way the new couple was acting, it appeared they had been as distracted in the tree as she assumed. 

“I take care of myself just fine, thank you,” she replied with her nose in the air. “Besides, he isn’t my type.” 

She cut a sly glance to Sesshoumaru, whose focus was purely on the card game taking place. A brief look in Miroku’s direction revealed him hiding his amusement behind his cards. 

“What isn’t? The big strong warrior type? Or the human type?” 

The question posed by Sango had the other two men giggling. Sesshoumaru only seemed annoyed that the game had paused as a result. 

“What’s so funny?” Kagome asked, and Inuyasha took the liberty. 

“Come on. We all know Kagome ain’t interested in human men. She’s sent every one of ‘em packing. But say, when Kouga comes around-” 

“I was _not_ interested in Kouga.” 

Throwing her card angrily on the table put the game back in motion. 

“Maybe not. But you at least let him wriggle on the line for a bit.” She offered no rebut, and the others noticed. 

“Admit it, if he ain’t a youkai, you ain’t interested.” Inuyasha accented his point by throwing his own card down harshly. This ended the round and they pushed the cards aside. 

“I will not admit it. I don’t discriminate like that. I operate on a person to person basis.” 

“Or youkai to youkai.” 

“Exactly. I judge everyone by the goodness in their heart, not the youki in their bloodstream.” 

Miroku was dealing now, and the suspiciously quiet monk finally turned his focus on the young miko. 

“Are there any other organs you judge a man by, Kagome-sama? And what exactly are your requirements in that regard?” 

He seemed pleased with himself for that one, and she refused to reward his suggestive question by altering her expression. 

“Yes, as a matter of fact. And I’m afraid that your _brain_ isn’t big enough for me, houshi.” 

She played her card without looking at him, and the couple to her side laughed in response. 

Miroku’s grin never faltered as he waited for his turn. 

“My brain might be small, but I assure you; I make up for it in other areas.” 

She didn’t bother to look up from her hand to acknowledge his waggling eyebrows. 

“It doesn’t matter. I’m sure they are both diseased, and that’s another deal breaker.” 

“I am wounded!” was barely heard over the eruption of laughter at her side. 

As it died down, Inuyasha looked up to the only man not thoroughly enjoying this display. He continued to watch the cards with a bored expression, and the hanyou realized in that moment he should never teach his half-brother poker. He’d win every single game. 

“So Sesshoumaru... you figure any more about what turned you into a demon? Since you were able to do it once, it must be possible to do again.” 

They all knew about the night he had gotten his shirt back from those soldiers. He never divulged the details, but nobody was complaining about that. The important part was that he had been able to turn back. Now, they just had to figure out how he did it. 

“Regrettably, I have not,” he admitted stiffly. “I was alone in my room when I changed, and by daybreak I had returned to this human form.” 

“Huh, that’s funny,” Sango off handedly quipped. But when two violet eyes narrowed and leveled her with malicious scrutiny, she couldn’t fight the urge to shrink a little in her seat. 

“How?” He demanded, tilting his head to the side as if prepared to analyze her reply. She grew increasingly nervous under his icy glare, and even the reminder that he was now human did little to ease her discomfort. But she forced herself to meet his eyes and answer him. 

“Demon only for a night,” she clarified around a faint squeak; clearing her scratchy throat before turning to the others. “Maybe he has a monthly change, just like Inu-” 

“Just like _in_ that story we heard,” Kagome interrupted curtly, shutting Sango down with her eyes and her urgency. “That Sesshoumaru hasn’t _heard yet_ , and still doesn’t _know about_...” 

Sure, Sesshoumaru was in the pack. But he still hadn’t earned enough trust to be privy to their most guarded secrets. If this journey was going to take any length of time, the odds were good he was going to find out sooner or later. 

But for now, just in case, it was not something he needed to know about. 

Perceptive as he was, he got the feeling they were keeping something from him. But as long as it had nothing to do with him, he supposed he didn’t really care. 

“What story?” he asked Kagome. 

“Just a fairytale about a demon who turns human the night of the full moon.” She hoped that was vague enough to throw him off the trail. “But the moon wasn’t full that night.” 

“No,” he confirmed, his eyes back on the game. “It was the peak of the waning crescent.” 

“Just like your marking,” Inuyasha remarked as he got his new cards in order. “Maybe that’s it.” 

Sesshoumaru met his brother’s gaze for a contemplative moment. 

“Hn. Perhaps.” 

“But if that’s the case, then he has no way to control it. And I can’t think of any way to expand it for longer.” 

Inuyasha was thinking about his own human night, and trying to drum up anything else that may draw parallels. So far, he was coming up empty. 

“Guess we’ll have to wait and see if it happens again next month, or if he changes again before that,” Sango opined. Inuyasha nodded in agreement before looking back to his half-brother. 

“At least you’d have one night a month. Then, you can transform and look for Rin-” 

_“We will find her before then.”_

The room became silent at his sharp, insistent tone. Kagome looked on sympathetically, before determinedly agreeing. 

“Of course we will.” 

They all fell silent a moment while another round was played. 

“Keh, maybe something else triggered it. You said you were just hanging out alone in your room when it happened?” 

Sesshoumaru nodded once. 

“Did anything important happen before that?” 

“It was the night those soldiers broke my arm. I can recall nothing particularly exciting after that. Can you, miko?” 

Everyone’s eyes were on her, and suddenly her cards became incredibly interesting. 

He didn’t seem particularly inclined to broadcast the lapse of self-control they’d recently demonstrated. But then, he also didn’t seem super interested in maintaining secrecy. 

He was leaving it up to her, and it seemed like a no-brainer. 

“Nope, definitely not. Just another boring, totally forgetful night.” She finally lifted her gaze to meet his, but the only reaction she received was a knowing smile from Miroku that nobody else seemed to notice. 

“Maybe Myoga knows something.” Inuyasha’s off handed suggestion is what tore his gaze from the miko. 

“I doubt that old fool will be of any assistance.” 

“He might know something,” he offered with a shrug. “He’s been around a long time.” Seeing his half-brother’s displeased expression made something amusing occur to him, and he flashed a fanged grin. “Keh, you’re just too embarrassed to let him see you like this.” 

Sesshoumaru lifted his chin, and looked down at him disdainfully. 

“I am already forced to endure swarms of humans on a daily basis, why would I want to burden myself with even more insects?” 

“Hey! I’ve _told_ you not to refer to us as insects!” 

His head snapped to the side at the miko’s outburst. Regarding her thoughtfully for a moment, he tilted his head a fraction. 

“I was not referring to you specifically. However, you cannot deny that in general humans are little more than useless pests.” The casual insults were beginning to mount, and she threw her cards on the table before she lost her patience. 

“No, I don’t agree. And I refuse to sit here and be insulted.” Kagome rose gracefully, if not hastily from her seat. “This useless _pest_ is going in the kitchen to finish making your dinner. Is that acceptable, your _majesty_?” She stood, and he was surprised to find that she seemed to be actually waiting for an answer. After a moment, he complied. 

“I suppose.” He sounded more confused than anything else. But as she spun from him, he deduced it must not have been the answer she desired. 

“I’ll come help.” Sango kissed Inuyasha, and got up to follow her friend into the kitchen. 

Down to two players, Inuyasha gathered up the cards from the table. As he was doing so, Miroku boldly leaned in closer to Sesshoumaru who was staring off where the ladies had disappeared. 

“Perhaps that wasn’t wise, my lord. Kagome-sama is very sensitive to such criticisms.” 

Sesshoumaru shrugged his shoulder, and continued to stare after where the women had exited. 

“I only gave my honest opinion. She will get over it.” 

“Of course she will,” he agreed. “She is very forgiving. But in the meantime, her anger may prevent her from being...as _accommodating_ as she may have otherwise been.” 

Sesshoumaru turned to his side at the monk’s puzzling statement. Unaware of his conversation with Kagome, he simply studied his face trying to determine his meaning. He could see that the monk appeared as if he was trying to be helpful, but of what, he had no idea. 

“Feh, he don’t care if she’s pissed off at him. He’s gonna be a bastard no matter what.” 

With a grin, Inuyasha scooted closer and threw the pack of cards aside. 

“Alright. Now that the girls are gone, you need to tell us the rest of that story.” 

Miroku’s eyes lit up as the hanyou eagerly leaned in. 

The men weren’t often left to their own devices. But when they were, Miroku had a deep well of tales involving his personal experiences on the road. 

“The one with the lord’s wife? Or the fisherman’s sister?” he asked, excited to share of his conquests. 

“Lord’s wife.” 

“Ah, yes. Okay, where was I?” 

Sesshoumaru fought off an eyeroll and considered leaving the table to explore the mansion again. But he didn’t want to appear as if he had a weak constitution, and he would not be chased out of a room. So while he didn’t look the slightest bit interested, he remained seated, and silent as the monk continued the story he had not yet been able to finish before getting interrupted. 

“So I’m in this lord’s mansion. His bedroom is on the top floor, and he is gone on business. The wife invites me over-” 

“Yeah, yeah, you’ve already told us that part. Get to the part in the bedroom.” 

Miroku thought for a moment, trying to remember where he had left off. 

“Oh yes. Okay, I’ve got her on the bed. I’m completely naked, and I've got her down to her unmentionables. Just as I’m going to remove her breast bindings, we here a loud noise. The lord is home early, and calling for her. She panics.” 

His audience is enthralled - at least by half - so he continues enthusiastically. 

“She urges me to hide in the closet, but if you remember that story with the fishman’s sister, it did not work out for me in the past.” 

“Yeah, he found you and pounded you to dust,” Inuyasha gleefully recalled. The monk wagged his finger once. 

“Exactly. But there was no escaping the bedroom without running into him in the hall. And this particular lord was the jealous type. Incredibly insecure.” 

“And big, right?” 

“Very big. Mammoth,” Miroku assured him sternly. 

“So with time running short, I decided at the last minute to hop out the window, and hang from the ledge while she quickly got rid of him.” 

“You had time to get back into your robe?” Inuyasha asked incredulously. Miroku shook his head. 

“No! I’m hanging out there, for all the world to see, wearing nothing but a terrified expression. And, it was the middle of the day, so I only prayed that no one happened to be looking in her window in that moment.” 

“Ha! They would have seen the moon at noon.” Inuyasha chuckled at his own joke. His friend smiled in response. 

“So he barges in, sure he was going to catch her doing something indecent, and is surprised to find her alone. Apparently, I was not the first gentleman to have been taken to his wife’s bed. 

“He’s suspicious. But, she’s in her underwear. And tells him she has been waiting for him to come home.” He paused for dramatic effect, but only Inuyasha was leaning in anxiously with a large grin on his face. 

“Before I know it, they start going at it on the bed, and I am left just hanging there. My arms are killing me, but it was quite a drop. So I kept hanging on.” He held his arms up for reference. 

“But it’s over quickly. I can see why she called on me.” The hanyou cackled in reply. “When he’s done, he gets ready to leave, and I think I’m in the clear. But just then, he finally notices my robes on the floor, and starts frantically searching for a naked man. He checks the closet, everything, and I'm not there.” 

Inuyasha waited on baited breath to learn of his friend’s terrible fate. He did not disappoint. 

“I ventured a peek to see what was going on. In that very moment, he sees me, and rushes for the window.” Inuyasha gasped excitedly. 

“With no other options, I let go. Drop, three stories, and into the prickle bushes below.” 

The hanyou groaned sympathetically. “That had to hurt.” 

“Indeed,” he agreed. “Luckily, nothing was broken. But I had to run all the way home in nothing but my skin. That’s how I got the nickname ‘flash’ in my old village.” 

The half demon began howling maniacally, and clapped a few times in appreciation. 

“Oh man, that’s so great! How humiliating.” Holding his stomach, he tilted his head to aim his laughter at the ceiling above. Miroku took no offense to his friend’s mockery. Instead, a devious smile grew on his features and he threw a hand on Inuyasha’s shoulder. 

“It wasn’t all bad,” he assured him shamelessly. “I met a _very_ attractive woman on my way home, who invited me in for cover. She was a soldier’s mistress and-” 

“Hey, where are you going?” 

At the story’s conclusion, Sesshoumaru finally stood. Indulging in a light stretch, he turned from the table and planned his escape. 

“I require some air,” he offered simply without turning around. Inuyasha shrugged, and returned his undivided attention to his favorite storyteller. 

* * *

“Man, nice kitchen.” Sango looked around the room in awe as Kagome checked on her roasting meat. Pleased with its progress, she assembled her vegetables onto the counter and started sifting through the spice rack. 

“I know. It’s the biggest one I’ve seen in this time. That’s why when the General showed it to me, I begged him to let me use it.” Once confident she had all the herbs she needed, Kagome gathered them in her arms and brought them to her little work area. “He really wanted his staff to cook for us, but they had so much great stuff! I don’t know when I’ll ever get the chance to do this again.” 

She absolutely could never prepare a feast like this back at the village. She wanted to take the chance to do something nice for her friends. 

“And he said you can use _whatever_ you want?” Sango asked. 

“Yep! I already have the meat going. Now I just need to make the sauce and cook the veggies, and I’ll pretty much be done.” 

Admiring the large selection of cutting knives, Kagome pulled one from its place and carefully tested the sharpness with her thumb. 

“What can I do to help?” Sango asked, impressed with her friend’s organization skills. 

Kagome looked around, and just gave a simple shrug. 

“I actually have it all pretty well in hand. If you wanted to go spend some time with Inuyasha before he leaves tomorrow, I totally understand.” 

Sango’s eyes flew wide at Kagome’s breezy suggestion. She knew the woman was not completely comfortable with her relationship yet. And she didn’t want to leave her all the work while she was out playing around. 

“Are you sure? Because I really don’t mind helping.” 

“No! Go!” Kagome demanded, waving her off with her free hand. She turned back around to slice her first veggie, and smiled to herself at the slayer’s shocked reaction. “You can help next time. You guys better enjoy yourselves while you have the chance.” 

And she meant what she said. She knew they weren’t going to have a ton of time together on this mission. Tonight was a blessing, and would not be a regular occurrence. The couple should get to take advantage. 

Hugging her suddenly - and unexpectedly - from behind, Sango pressed her cheek to Kagome’s back and earned a sharp laugh from the woman holding the knife. She thanked her heartily, and continued to squeeze until both of them were lost in a fit of giggles. 

“Am I interrupting?” 

The velvet-smooth voice of the unexpected intruder startled the women out of their joyous little moment. They both turned their heads, and then smiled sheepishly at being caught in such a position. Sango smiled wider and released Kagome, before brushing off her front and trying to regain her composure. 

Kagome turned her attention back to the vegetable in her hand, and resumed slicing. 

“Nope, I was just about to work on the meal. Did you need something?” 

Sesshoumaru approached slowly, letting himself into the room and looking about with mild interest. He was clearly not in a rush. 

“A distraction. The monk insists on reliving his least redeeming moments before a small audience, as if I care about his childish exploits.” 

The two women turned to each other and shared a knowing smile. 

“Uh-oh. Sounds like Miroku’s back to hosting late night story time. We’ve already heard most of those, I think. He’s probably excited to have a new listener.” Sesshoumaru continued to scan around while Sango filled him in. 

“I’m sure there are some for the men’s ears only,” Kagome added. 

“I shudder to think what they could be. After what he’s told us, what could he possibly be holding back?” Kagome scoffed in agreement and turned her attention back from Sango to her vegetables. 

“If so, you are not missing much,” Sesshoumaru informed them. “I suspect most of what the man regales is fiction anyhow. Gross embellishment at best.” He’d finally approached Kagome’s side, and watched on as she continued to slice what was in front of her. She threw him a quick smirk without pausing her chore. 

“Yeah, we got that feeling too. But he means well. He’s just trying to lighten the mood.” 

He was so close they were nearly touching. His human form still towered over Kagome’s much smaller one, and he watched in a daze as she made her repetitive movements. He’d never seen her wield such a weapon, but it appeared she knew what she was doing with it. Her motions were hypnotizing. 

“What’s going on in here?” Inuyasha barged in, and his outburst nearly caused her to cut herself. She was about to scold him, but Sango raced across the room and threw her arms around his neck. 

“Hey, I was just going to come find you!” She gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Kagome gave me the night off, so if you’re all done with story time, let's take another tour of the property or something.” 

His eyes lit up at the chance for another date, and his mind started reeling with places they could stow away. 

“Sounds great! Thanks, Kagome.” She began to pull him away by the lapel, but he stopped short and spun back around before they were out the door. 

“Come on, Sesshoumaru, get outta here. We don’t bother the girls when they are cooking.” 

Before he could respond, Kagome threw her head over her shoulder and cut him off knowingly at the pass. 

"It's no bother, he can stay.” He looked down to see the young woman smirking at him. “You wanna help me chop vegetables? I’ll wager you are pretty good with a knife.” 

With a shrug, Inuyasha took Sango by the hand and led her quickly out the kitchen. If Kagome wanted to let him hang around, it was her funeral. 

“I am excellent with any blade.” Stepping aside, Kagome offered him the large knife and indicated he take her place. 

“Alright then, show me what you got.” Their fingers brushed less than subtly as he grabbed it from her, and with an impressive flick of his wrist, the knife made a complete clockwise rotation before becoming secured within his confident grip. 

He always looked happier when he was holding something sharp, and though the muscles in his face hadn’t budged an inch, something in those violet irises told her he was feeling right at home. 

She leaned casually against the counter, watching as he mimicked her previous movements; slicing the vegetable the exact same size and shape as she had been doing. Much faster though, she conceded. 

She watched as he blew through the first couple, and noted how his hands seemed to move perfectly in time with one another; fluid and seamless. Not a motion was wasted as he spent his effort efficiently. 

“That’s very nice work. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear you have done this before.” 

She grabbed another knife and stood beside him, trying to catch up to his quickly mounting pile of sliced produce. 

He didn’t look up; simply continued on with his chore. 

“The task is simple and unimpressive. Nothing worthy of praise.” 

She’d immediately given up trying to race him. The last thing she needed was to slice her finger open competing with a total show off. She was just doing her best to make properly sized morsels, and trying not to bump elbows. 

“That may be, but it is still useful. And helpful.” He didn’t respond. The rhythmic sound of chopping filled the quiet space, and soon seemed in sync with the pattern that they played. 

Another comfortable silence passed between the two. After a few more servings were chopped, Kagome started dicing peppers for the sauce. 

Every time she snuck a look, she found him completely engrossed in his work. It appeared that everything he did was taken very seriously, no matter how miniscule. 

But it seemed to fit. He probably never had fun... Of a non-lethal variety. 

“Did you know that ants can lift one thousand times their body weight when they work as a team?” 

She’d finally earned his attention; though his eyes only shifted her way for a second. Then he was back on task; his wrist never wavered. 

“Fascinating. Does your knowledge know no bounds?” 

He glanced her way again to find her smirking at her busy hands. Chopping sounds filled the void for another couple of beats. 

“I know that us mortals are nothing impressive to you, but our power multiplies substantially when everyone does their part.” She ventured another peek, only to find him still working away as if he hadn’t heard her. 

“You may not think that what you can do is important, but when you take the load off someone else, it frees them up to accomplish greater things. Kind of like how Jaken takes out the lower-level nuisance demons for you, so you can focus on the bigger threats.” 

Of all the difficulties she had seen him encounter during his time as a human, one of the most glaring was his perceived uselessness. He could no longer do most of the incredible things that had set him apart from others. The things he thought defined him. 

But he wasn’t as helpless as he thought. He just didn’t see how valuable he could be without his youki and his strength and his power. She wanted him to know that he had so much more to offer. 

“Do not imply that that imp is in any way useful. I require the aid of no one.” 

She finished her current vegetable and reached for another, using the lull to sneak yet another glance at Sesshoumaru as he worked. He was still very focused on his task. Eyes hard and jaw set, he seemed to appreciate the simple busywork as if it were a therapeutic distraction. 

He had a lot to agonize over lately, and way too much time to do it. Maybe she should try a little harder to make sure the Lord of the West was keeping occupied. Because you know, idle hands... 

She looked down at them, and they seemed to work robotically on his assignment. He had the precision of a machine, but somehow still the flare of an artist. Though she had the feeling making dinner was probably not something he had done often. Or even at all. 

If he was aware of her scrutiny, he wasn’t letting on. 

“Perhaps that _used_ to be true. But not anymore.” She smiled gently as she went back to her own slicing. “When you help out like this, everyone benefits. We get our meals faster. We are less tired at the end of the day. We are more well rested. We can focus on the important things, like finding Rin. Our power as a group is what makes us formidable.” 

He didn’t react to a thing she had said, and she figured he wasn’t going to. She thought he might at least offer some quip about how inconsequential it all was, or how weak they were for needing help. But even the mention of Rin didn’t interrupt his flawless cutting in the slightest. 

Giving up on conversation, she decided to allow him to work in peace. 

Another comfortable silence passed between them, but it was considerably shorter this time. 

She’d noticed several times when his pupils cut to hers, seemingly eager for some sort of reaction. Gaining none, at least not of a verbal nature, it was finally he who was compelled to break the spell. 

“This One thought you did not appreciate being compared to insects.” 

When she turned to glimpse him this time, she found his nearest eyebrow cocked in condemnation. 

She couldn’t contain her smirk. He was testing the waters. He expected her to be mad, or at least considered the possibility. But she wasn’t. 

She hadn’t really even been before at his thoughtless comment. Even though he held tightly to his beliefs, she knew that she was not included in his generalizations. And that shouldn’t make it okay, but it made it better somehow. 

To him, she was an outlier. She was special. It felt good. 

“Well, not the way you did it. I said it much nicer.” 

She was no longer looking at him, but she could feel his gaze upon her. The heat of his stare burned her skin, and made every hair stand at attention. 

“An ant is still an ant, no matter how rosy you wish to tint it.” 

He was not watching his hands now. His chopping had slowed, and she felt the burn on her neck where he scorched the terrain with his scrutiny. 

Pretending she couldn’t feel it, she lifted her chin just enough to portray her confidence. 

“Well, as long as you’re an ant, you may as well be the best ant you can be.” 

“If This One were an ant, he would their king.” 

She laughed, and turned to him just in time to see how his chin lifted as well. Slightly higher than her own had been. 

The pile of unchopped vegetables was dwindling, and the rhythmic sound of dueling kitchens knives began to slow their pace. She grabbed another. 

“Another fun fact about ants, they all defer to the queen. Queen ant is the most powerful in the colony.” 

“Is that so?” he asked, amusement lacing his tone. This time he actually paused long enough to physically turn her way. She responded in kind, and enjoyed how he cocked his eyebrow at her yet again. 

“Yep. Same goes for bees.” 

She started chopping again first, and he slowly followed suit as he seemed to consider the new information. 

“Then the analogy in insufficient. You must find an insect race which acknowledges their lord.” 

His new decree sent her mind reeling, but her insect knowledge was sadly not as vast as advertised. 

“You could be lord of the flies.” She smiled to herself, but this time, when she peered over to him, he was engrossed in his work once again. 

“I know the lord of the flies. He is a distant relative of Myoga.” 

She actually had to stop to process that completely. She had no idea if he was messing with her, and he was giving nothing away. In the end, she decided to take Miroku’s advice and just ask him. 

She turned to face him with a look of pure confoundment. 

“Was that a joke?” 

He never faltered at her accusation, and leveled his steady gaze deep into her own. 

“Have you ever known This Sesshoumaru to jest, Kagome?” 

Oh, her name from his lips should not be affecting her that way. Having that reaction was too fine a reward for something so trivial. He should be respectful enough to deign to call her by her name every time. Not do it so sparingly that it felt like a special treat. 

Still, she felt like she’d earned something. 

“Not in a way that is actually funny. You have an...” she looked him up and down, wanting to irk, but not offend, “ _off_ \- _beat_ sense of humor.” 

She’d managed to swallow her elation. Of course, his demeanor gave nothing away. 

“Perhaps you simply are not intelligent enough to interpret the comedy,” he ventured. 

“Oh, I interpret. I just don’t think it's that funny to go around kicking Jaken, or throwing soldiers into boats. Our senses of humor are completely incompatible.” 

He finally finished his last vegetable just as she began hers. Wiping his knife clean and placing it aside, he turned to lean his hip against the surface and crossed his arms. 

“Not completely.” 

“What do you mean?” she asked, and tried not to falter when he bent low, and put his face within inches of hers. 

“Osuwari.” She faltered. 

But at least she didn’t cut herself. She twisted to scowl, but the sight of his blunt teeth exposed in a dashing smile took all the wind out of her admonishing sails. 

‘I miss his fangs,’ she thought errantly, and quickly resumed her duty. 

“See? That may be funny to you. But I only do that when it is necessary, or to prove a point. Never for a laugh.” 

He leaned closer. Absence of chore left him free to do so while she continued to work. 

“Never?” 

She was making a concerted effort just to keep her composure. She felt hot again as his eyes burned holes in her face, and shoulder, and even further down her body. Damn, she knew she’d hesitated too long. 

“Well...” 

“Hn.” That seemed to be enough proof to please him. 

Finally, the chopping was finished. She took extra time to organize everything into proper piles, and wiped the edges of her knife clean before placing it down next to its brother. 

He straightened back to full height, but continued to watch on as she seemed to fuss nervously around her small work station. She didn’t know what he was waiting for. But then, she didn’t know why she was stalling. She finally forced herself to meet his eyes. 

“Alright. Well, thanks for the help. I think we have enough. You’ve done your part for the day.” 

She flashed a thankful grin and turned from him, and began separating the results of their labor into separate bowls. 

“I wish to stay. I will observe.” 

“Why?” She spun around; a tad more defensive than she had intended. 

Mr. I Don’t Eat Human Food wants to learn to cook it? Why the sudden interest? 

“It would be beneficial to learn to prepare human meals.” She still seemed somewhat suspicious, so he clarified. “For when Rin returns. If it is not an imposition.” 

Kagome’s apprehensiveness melted away to nothing. 

It was an incredibly sweet notion. She smiled softly at him. 

“Of course. She’d like that.” 

She felt for him in that moment. He was probably having a rough time with all this, but not knowing where Rin was had to be the hardest part for him. 

She tried her best to get him to open up to her, but he still wasn’t comfortable talking about his feelings. He had to be having some, despite what he wanted everyone to believe. 

With time, she hoped he would come to her. But until then, she would help where she could, and allow him to process at his own pace. 

She let him observe as she continued to work. She tried to think of how to instruct him further, but it all seemed so self-explanatory. Especially to someone like him. 

“You know, any time you want me to show you this stuff, all you have to do is ask. Anything for Rin.” 

She threw that on at the end because she wasn’t entirely certain he was ready to ask for help on his own yet. If it was for Rin, he seemed willing to accept the human aid. 

“The offer is appreciated. I shall take you up on it.” 

Kagome smiled. She seemed to have the crux of it. 

All the pots were ready, so she turned to him with a smile. 

“Good. Now, what would the Lord of the Ants like to do: cook the vegetables, or make the sauce?” 

She held his gaze impressively. As he stared back into her blue depths, he seemed to be seriously considering her question. But when the smallest of smirks lifted the edge of his mouth, and he bowed his head forward almost imperceptibly, she wondered what he had really been contemplating. 

“I shall defer to the queen.” 

And then, she did her best to behave like a normal person. At least, not a crazy person. 

The sauce was more complicated, so she gave him simple instructions as to which vegetables went where. With him off and running, she gathered the ingredients for her favorite sauce recipe and hoped she wasn’t forgetting anything. 

She mixed everything together one large bowl. The color of the sauce looked just like it was supposed to, and that was a good sign. It meant she had gotten it right. When she stopped hearing noise on his end, she ventured a glance to confirm that he was finished, and everything was going according to plan. 

He simply stood there, watching her stir up her ingredients while the veggies they chopped together cooked. 

“This is fun. You’re actually a pretty good kitchen buddy.” 

His silence was expected, and she took the opportunity to dip the tip of her finger into her creation and test out the results. 

It was good, she’d decided. But something was missing. 

She focused her palate onto the flavors bursting across her taste buds. What did she forget? 

She went in for a second dip, and this time she made sure to savor it while she wracked her brain trying to discern the difference. 

She thought hard, crossing her eyes in a daze as she tried to concentrate on what it used to taste like. 

She had it! 

Rushing over to the spices, the shuffled through the jars until finally, she found what she was looking for. She held it up triumphantly, and with an evil grin, and zipped back over to her bowl and dumped a generous amount of the herb inside. 

A few hearty stirs had it all mixed together, and she stuck her index finger back in the bowl for a third time. 

She lifted her sauce covered digit to her lips, but before it completed its journey, a hand snatched out and grabbed her tightly by the wrist. 

She didn’t know when he had gotten so close. She never even heard him move. But a startled gasp escaped her at the unexpected contact. 

She looked down at where he grasped on; her hand suspended helplessly between them, finger still protruding out with a decent amount of fresh sauce decorating the tip. 

She drew her stunned gaze away from there, slowly panning up to the face of the man who stopped her progress; intent on getting answers with her questioning glare. 

But when her eyes finally found their way to his, what she saw there startled her anew. She repressed a second sharp intake of breath at the ravenous look in those deep violet pools. 

He looked hungry. He looked _starving_. And his gaze was so intense, it seemed to hold them both hostage. 

This was as feral as she had seen him since becoming human, and she worried for a second that he might be transforming. But he didn’t. He just kept looking back at her with that haunting, paralyzing stare. 

She started to worry she’d done something wrong. Was he angry? What could she have- Oh no! 

She double dipped! 

Maybe the Lord of the West has strict rules against getting human spit in his food. It was a habit she’d picked up over the years because no one in this time seemed to notice or care. 

But hey, if he was so picky, he already sampled her saliva right from the source, and he wasn’t complaining then. 

She said nothing. Moved nothing. Because she was not certain what it was he wanted. Every instinct in her told her to remain silent and still, so she did. 

So much for fight or flight. Suppose that instinct doesn’t kick in when facing off against former demon lords who look like they haven’t eaten in decades. 

Was that it? When was the last time he’d eaten? Maybe his blood sugar was running low. 

The sauce was very good. And she noticed how his attention flicked down to the viscous material that was beading at the tip of her finger, and threatening to drip down to the floor at their feet. Maybe one of the ingredients was having an effect on him. 

He seemed to be imploring silently for permission. And scared stiff as she was, she was not able to give it. But she didn’t refuse him either, and that was enough for him. 

After all, what do they say about permission and forgiveness? 

He never broke her gaze. She was pretty sure he still hadn’t blinked yet. His grip on her wrist tightened, but he did not pull. 

Instead, he dipped his head low, almost an act of deference. 

Realization dawned somewhere in her foggy mind, but she could not react. Before his lips reached her body, he continued to lock eyes for a long, meaningful beat. Then, her digit was slipping past his lips. 

This time, her gasp reached his ears. But he was not dissuaded. 

And she did not pull away, though with his firm grip on her dainty wrist, it likely would have been a fruitless endeavor. She relaxed in his grasp, and continued to simply hold his stare. 

Her eyes were wide and curious and scared. But his were needy and unrepentant and sure. He seemed resigned to his task, and she could only stand there and gawk as she allowed him to suckle on her skin suggestively. 

At first, he simply licked her clean; removing any remnant of flavor from the tip of her finger. His tongue was so warm and wet, and caressed her in a way she had not expected. 

His tongue was strong. It had purpose. She remembered getting acquainted with it the other night after he’d fought those soldiers. Before he transformed. 

He’d subdued her with it. Was that what he was doing now? Did he have that power? She had to admit she was feeling pretty helpless. Morbid shock had rendered her completely immobile. 

The sauce was removed quickly, and he still held her eyes. She refused to tear those sapphire orbs away as well. If he was testing her, she refused to back down. 

She thought it was a game. Some weird sort of challenge. But when he finally closed his own piercing depths, she no longer knew what to think. So she just didn’t. 

His lids slid shut, and with his lips wrapped tightly around her protruding digit, he proceeded to take her entire finger into his mouth. 

That tongue was a flurry of activity. Its strength and speed and maneuverability were all showcased, and she felt that warm, wet appendage slip past each knuckle and caress every part of her that it touched. 

She couldn’t help but think about that tongue being in other places. She was sure that was the point. The suggestive way it rolled around the small part of her body it possessed was obviously supposed to be advertising its capabilities, and she could not say she was not imagining how it could be put to use. 

His tongue was still working her, eyes still closed as he seemed to savor the taste of her in his mouth. And she just let him, just stood there while he got his fill, and made her burn between her thighs with what he implied he could- he would- do for her. 

And just like that, he withdrew. 

Suddenly, the finger he had been catering to was exposed to the elements, and the cold rushed in to magnify the loss. 

She held it up, gaped at it, trying to make sense with her mouth slightly ajar and that mild astonishment still in her eyes. 

He straightened. He refused to betray anything, but he was a mess. 

The way she was looking down at the finger he had just molested quiet expertly with his talented mouth made him want to recoil in shame. 

She was disgusted. And she should be. 

He didn’t know what came over him, but he recognized the bestial urge as it commandeered his form, and he welcomed it. 

That was his demon side. That was a part of himself he had been denied for far too long. He was all too willing to let it consume him and roam free while it had the chance to surface. 

But she was human. 

The way she was looking in disbelief at her freshly dampened skin highlighted that fact. 

She was frightened. And she should be. 

He wore the skin of a man, but he was a youkai. It was still there, he felt it possess him just now. And even if he was stuck in this form forever, there were still parts of him that would always clamor to resurface. That’s how strong he was. 

But as much as he rejoiced the familiar feeling deep within him gnashing to be freed, he loathed that look in her eye. He did not want her frightened of him. He did not want her disgusted by him. 

Even though she absolutely should be. 

“H-how is the sauce?” 

He hid his surprise. Still refused to break her stare. If she could maintain, he certainly could. 

“Exquisite.” 

Her gaze flicked nervously over to the bowl beside them. 

“Can I have some?” 

His eyes flew wide. He knew she saw it. But he only burned them into hers long enough to assure himself of her certainty. Once obtained, he quickly leaned over. He took his index finger, and dipped it into the sauce she’d so thoughtfully prepared. Only he made sure the entirety of the digit was dripping with the substance. 

Then, with more care than urgency, he lifted it to her lips. The moment they parted, he breached her entrance and slid himself insistently inside her waiting mouth. He was eager to watch himself disappear inside of her. She closed her eyes blissfully while wrapping her pink lips firmly around him and letting him invade her orifice. His eyelids threatened to fall as well. He easily could have given over to the sense of touch and let her lips and her tongue become everything in that brief moment. 

But he couldn’t tear away. He had to watch her close her eyes in pleasure as she tasted what he gave her. Enthusiastically, she made sure to clean all she could off him. He felt the heat of her mouth. The texture. The willingness to please. As if the sight of her wasn’t enough, the thinly veiled tease of her capabilities had him marveling in awe, and absolutely burning in need. 

He just watched her. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak. He was good for little else than simply enjoying the moment, and letting her match his moves. Allowing her to repay him in kind. 

She finally pulled back. He made no move to escape her while her lips retreated, and slid tightly over his tip before leaving him cold and exposed. 

He was beyond thrilled. He was certain he had put her off with his beast-like tendencies. But still, even now, she was up to the challenge. She refused to yield to him. He was pleased. 

“You’re right.” She paused, licking her lips sensually. “It’s exquisite.” 

She made quite a sight. Frightened, yet not. Uncertain, yet not. Satisfied, yet not. 

She straddled that line between desire and defiance that drove him absolutely insane. If only she would pick a lane, he could sleep at night. But she waffled, warring with herself as well as he until they were so tangled up neither knew which way was out. 

They both thought they knew, but they were wrong. At least they had that in common. 

And there was something humbling, and exciting, and even spiritual about jumping into the lake with someone else who hadn’t the faintest idea how to swim. 

He finally focused enough to take her in... all of her. And he couldn't help but smirk. 

The way he’d less than subtly penetrated her mouth with his finger had caused some of the sauce she'd so painstakingly constructed to accumulate in the corner of her oblivious grin. 

She was used to his mockery by now. At least she had finally learned how to confront him outright, as opposed to disappearing within herself to search for an answer. That was his job. 

“Have I got some on my face?” 

His smile widened. She was always self-conscious under his attention. Now she displayed it full force, and though she was technically correct, it was not the source of his scrutiny. She attempted fruitlessly to use her own tongue to try and tidy herself. He’d seen enough. 

Stepping forward, he grabbed her jaw in his hand, and sharply forced her face to the side. He leaned in, and languidly lapped up the mess he’d helped create at the corner of her mouth with one long pass. She grabbed his arm in reflex, but made no attempts to resist as his hot tongue removed any traces of imperfection. 

She went limp in his hold. But it only took the slightest turn of her head right in time with his for the wet muscle to slide seamlessly into her mouth as he slanted his own; covering and consuming in one fluid and effortless and thoughtless motion. 

He pressed her against the counter’s edge with his eager hips. Trapping her with his might, his hands flew to her waist as he explored her pliant mouth like it was the first time. 

This kiss was nothing like the last. 

Last time had been about dominance. About power. 

This was not a forceful exchange. 

Neither would dominate or submit. Command or retreat. 

This was simply about surrender. 

This kiss expressed the need, and want, and desire of the other. 

And it showcased what there was to offer. To freely give. 

Nobody was in control here, that was painfully clear. 

Her hands rested against his broad chest, but did not push away as he leaned in closer. He gripped her hips more tightly when she moaned into his mouth, and invited his tongue to play with hers while they explored each other free of any worldly expectations. 

His fingertips ascended her ribcage covetously. She tingled as he reached her underwire, and he paused a moment to inspect the foreign material. 

“Oh my. Sorry to interrupt.” 

Sesshoumaru’s growl was impressive for a human, but it still sounded comical to her. Despite being earnest, it was a poor imitation. 

Miroku had broken their kiss, but neither was willing to remove themselves from the embrace. Their hips were still pressed tightly against one another. And their hands remained as they were, unwilling to relinquish their progress. 

“Leave.” 

With faces close enough to be touching, the intruder barely registered as they disappeared in each other’s eyes. 

Miroku watched them appear to lose themselves, drawing near by way of some magnetic force of which he was not privy. 

They looked about ten seconds away from jumping on top of each other. And the last thing he wanted to do was stand in the way of physical pleasure. 

But he shook himself free of the captivating sight, and hated himself for what he had to do. 

“Of course. It's just that Sango’s back with your brother, and he’s starting to get cranky for his dinner. If you are too much longer, I expect he will come looking for it. Just thought I’d let you know.” 

And then he zipped out as fast as he could. His job was done, it was up to them whether or not they wanted to listen. 

But the mood was ruined. The fog had lifted. The world came crashing down as coherent thought returned to them. 

At her gentle coaxing, he reluctantly backed away. The sounds of pots boiling over with water told them the meal was ready, and Kagome went to remove the meat before it burned. 

* * *

The meal was a hit. The food was delicious, and kept the others oblivious of the real excitement in the kitchen. 

Miroku hadn’t said a word of what he’d seen, and the couple had managed to cool down enough to present themselves at dinner without arousing suspicion. 

They’d communicated silently, using heated gazes to relay intentions of keeping what had transpired between them. And Miroku. 

But after the food was served and light conversation filled the dining hall, the intensity of the moment lessened dramatically. Soon, they had settled into the comfortable atmosphere and it was like the whole thing had never happened. 

Except when they would make eye contact, a current would spark and flow between them, and they’d linger long enough to show that they did indeed remember, and they would have the other know it. 

The sake was perhaps not helping matters. The table was already on their second bottle, and the slightly reddened faces of each group member was proof. 

“Thanks for dinner, Kags,” Inuyasha nearly slurred, and threw an arm around his woman’s shoulders. “And thanks for giving Sango the night off. Since there’s only two rooms the General could spare us, we won't see much of each other tonight.” 

Not that they hadn’t seen plenty of each other throughout the day. Since their arrival, they’d managed to sneak away together for most of the evening. But the relationship was still new and exciting. Inuyasha leaned in to touch his nose her hers. 

“Say, I have an idea,” Miroku began, calmly and innocently. “Instead of splitting up the sexes like usual, why don’t you and Sango take a room tonight. The three of us can share the other.” 

He kept his smile at Inuyasha friendly, and ignored the suspicious glance Kagome nervously shot his way. 

“Nice try, houshi,” Inuyasha immediately dismissed. 

“Come on, it isn’t often you will be able to stay the night with us. You must take advantage of this luxury.” 

Inuyasha frowned. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the sound of it, but he knew is friend was a con artist. And when it came to sharing a room with a girl, he knew enough to know the lecher could not be trusted. 

Kagome might not be his woman, but she was his to protect. And there was no way he was going to lock her up with that pervert overnight. 

“It ain’t the luxury you’re trying to take advantage of and we all know it.” 

Miroku placed a hand over his breast as if any suspicion was completely unjustified. 

“You injure me, old friend. I would never try anything with Kagome-sama. Not while Sesshoumaru-sama was there.” 

He kept the mischief from his smile as he let his gaze slide to the woman in question. She looked concerned, but remained quiet. Sesshoumaru, of course, appeared to not even be listening. 

“There’s no way I’m lettin’-” 

“No Inuyasha, it’s okay.” 

Sesshoumaru joined the other men in turning to regard the miko. Her unexpected agreement was mildly surprising. 

She blushed under the scrutiny, but that might have been the wine. Inuyasha worried that it might be affecting her judgment as well. 

“It’s a good idea. You guys should spend some time together. I can handle these two.” 

She wasn’t worried about it. It wasn’t like either would try anything sneaky with the other man in the room. 

And Inuyasha was rarely going to be allowed to stay overnight with them. He deserved to spend time with his girlfriend. 

Not really in a place to argue, and not incredibly inclined to do so, he easily acquiesced after ensuring Kagome really didn’t mind. She assured him she didn’t, and Miroku was obviously all for it. 

Just to be sure she wasn’t being presumptuous though, she turned shyly toward the other man whom these arrangements would affect. 

“Is that okay with you, Sesshoumaru?” 

As they shared another long, meaningful glance, the electric current sparked to life once again to rekindle some of the intensity that had dissipated since leaving the kitchen. 

With a single, silent nod it was settled. 

* * *

After thanking Kagome and threatening both of the men, Inuyasha left their room to go be with Sango next door. 

It was a very nice room. Definitively large enough for the three of them. The lone futon that was raised on a platform was very spacious and comfortable. Kagome took a seat on the edge, and noted that they could all probably sleep in it without touching each other... not that she would agree to such an arrangement, 

The floorspace was incredibly spacious, and Inuyasha had set them up with two extra bedrolls, placed strategically on opposite sides of the room. 

After what happened with Sesshoumaru in the kitchen, she had to admit she felt a little anxious about sharing a bedroom with him. She went back and forth between being grateful for Miroku’s presence, and disappointed by it. 

But all in all, it was a good thing he was there. Things were happening so fast; it was almost like she couldn’t trust herself to behave around the former demon. Come to think of it, all the sake definitely hadn’t been a good idea. 

Oh, well. For once, having Miroku around would ensure there was no funny business. As long as he was there, she would be alright. 

“Alright, I’m outta here.” The monk grabbed his staff and made for the door. 

“What? Where are you going?” Kagome’s eyes widened in panic as Miroku apparently prepared to leave. 

Sesshoumaru remained in his spot on the floor, his arm draped over a single bent knee and looking for all intents and purposes like he was ignoring the other people in the room. The t-shirt Kagome had lent him was just a tad on the small side, and in stark contrast to the baggy hakama pants he continued to wear. 

“While the two of you were busy in the kitchen,” she blushed as his suggestive inflection, “I made the acquaintance of the housecleaning staff. One lovely young maid in particular was incredibly charmed with me, and invited me to her room for dessert.” 

He already had a date? Man, this guy worked fast. 

“I anticipate a wonderful evening, but you have my word regardless that I shall not return to this room until morning. So just make sure you are decent by then... that is, unless you want me to see.” 

She was beginning to regret telling him how she felt about Sesshoumaru. Not that the kiss he’d walked in on left it a huge mystery. 

“But-” 

“I’m sure the others are busy, so no use disturbing them.” 

He caught a glimpse of his reflection and made sure there was nothing in his teeth. He fiddled with his hair for a second, and once satisfied, he snapped his fingers, and reached down into his luggage. 

“Oh, I almost forgot. I found a couple bottles of wine while I was poking around.” And just like that, he produced the two bottles he had apparently nicked from their gracious host. Studying them both for a moment, he gave up trying and walked over to where Sesshoumaru still sat on the floor. 

“You’re a cultured guy, which one of these is better?” 

With a lazy glance at each of them, he pointed to the bottle on the right. 

“That.” 

As soon as he gestured, Miroku held it out to him. 

“Then I shall leave it with you. I will drink anything, though they both look very fine.” 

Kagome was surprised when Sesshoumaru actually reached out to accept his stolen gift. But from where she still sat on the bed, she focused her ire at the original thief. 

“Which is exactly why you shouldn’t have taken them. We’re guests here,” she chided. 

Not to mention, they’d already helped themselves to more than enough. The General gave them the wine they drank at dinner. If they had too much more, Kagome feared it would not be a pleasant day of searching tomorrow. 

Miroku just threw on his most charming grin, and stretched his hands out widely at his sides. 

“The General told us to make ourselves at home! Besides, he is obviously well off. He won’t even miss them.” 

Sesshoumaru stood, but Kagome just helplessly remained put. 

She got the feeling Miroku thought he was helping, though who was up for debate. He was always a big advocate for sexual activity, and after Sesshoumaru had slid those two women his way the other night, she wondered if this wasn’t a little bro payback. 

She highly doubted Sesshoumaru had anything to do with this. 

“Have a good time, kids.” He was halfway out the door when he paused contemplatively. “I guess you two can fight over who gets the bed.” 

And with a wink, he was gone. 

And then it was just the two of them. 

“What are you doing?” 

Sesshoumaru had located a couple of glasses in the room. She tensed as he approached the nightstand to her left and deposited them. 

“He’s right. The wine will not be missed. And this is a good batch.” 

He’d gotten the bottle open with little difficulty, and dutifully poured a serving for each of them. 

She really shouldn’t. She’d had enough, and this was setting up to end disastrously. But knowing all this, she still reached forward and accepted the glass he held out for her. 

He lifted his own, and when he took a seat beside her on the bed, she forgot how to breath. 

She was obviously tense as she kept her eyes forward, and felt the addition of his weight as the futon shifted to accommodate him. She sipped her wine, and her brain failed to function while she simply waited for him to say – or do – anything. 

She didn’t know what he expected of her. She didn’t even know what she expected. What are you supposed to do when suddenly left alone in a room with a man you’d just been making out with... and had been interrupted? 

As the minutes rolled on and he neither said nor did anything accept drink his wine, she slowly began to relax. The wine might have helped with that as well, for before she knew it, he was refilling her glass and helping himself to another. 

The continued silence was anything but comfortable, but that was because the voices in her head were being especially loud. 

She was thinking about everything the two of them had been through together in just the last couple of days, and one particular incident wouldn’t stop niggling at her. 

He seemed to be waiting for her to speak first. Or maybe he was just being as silent as he always was. Either way, the alcohol gave her the courage to finally breach the topic. 

“I wanted to ask you about that kiss.” 

“Which one?” She blushed when he lifted his brow, and smiled as he brought the glass up to his lips. 

“The first one. Why did you do it? And please be honest with me.” 

Now it was his turn to smile. The way it reached his eyes made everything in her chest feel weightless. 

The way he paused for a moment, like he seemed to be fighting with himself, almost made him look guilty. Like he was about to confess to something, and he wasn’t sure he should. 

But she knew he wouldn’t lie to her when asked outright. The worst he would do was not tell her. 

“Initially, to have you submit,” he finally admitted, never dropping her gaze as he swirled his drink in his hand. “You challenged me. And when a female challenges a male, or puts his manhood into question, a kiss is the...” he searched for the right word, “kindest way to prove your dominance.” 

“So you did it to be kind?” she asked, almost as if she didn’t believe him. 

He held his glass suspended in front of his lips again. 

“I am not certain you would have appreciated the other methods.” 

She willed away her embarrassment and attempted to pull off a smirk. But as he continued to stare at her while taking another drink, she finally gave in and averted her gaze. 

He watched her try to avoid him by studying the glass she held in both hands. He wondered what she was thinking as she reached up to tuck a lock of fallen hair back behind her ear. 

Was she recalling the moment he had her pinned beneath him? That certainly hadn’t gone as planned. Not that much planning was involved in the first place. 

What had been going through her mind back then? Because just like him, he was sure her own motivations had altered drastically in mere seconds. 

In the art of full disclosure, and to more completely answer her question... and because he’d had entirely too much wine tonight, he continued to indulge her. 

“The other reason is that you are irresistible when you are angry.” 

“What?” Perhaps his timing needed some work, as she nearly choked on the sip of wine she was taking. 

His countenance became excited, as if giddy to inform her about herself. 

“You get a wild spark in your eyes,” he began, the memory causing his lips to quirk up a little further. “Your voice becomes bold and confident.” But then, just like that, that pleased look on his face was gone. She was confused as he seemed to be regarding her now with a guarded kind of condemnation. “And it is the only time you are completely honest with me.” 

She was indignant and confused as he drained the last of his glass, and placed it on the floor near his feet. 

“What are you talking about? I’m always honest.” 

He scooted closer to her, and paralyzed her with that intense, calculating, always considering gaze of his. As the moment dragged on, she couldn’t help but yearn to know what he was thinking. 

“In that case, perhaps you could entertain a question of mine.” 

He pressed forward, crashing his lips into hers and taking her by surprise. 

Well, she wasn’t that surprised. She had been expecting something like this, but she still wasn’t prepared for his boldness. She froze in place, allowing him to thaw her nerves with those warm lips she had tasted not two hours ago. 

She would remain shocked still until he reached up to grab the half full glass of wine in her hand. It was a smart move on his part, as her grip was suddenly precarious at best. She released it, and began moving her lips with his as he bent forward to place it on the nightstand behind her. 

The action had her leaning back, and now that her hands were empty, she took advantage by using them to rub the plane of his firm upper chest. 

By the time his tongue found hers, she was laying comfortably on her back while he leaned over her imposingly. His hand was on her bare thigh, dragging its way greedily up the leg she still had dangling over the edge of the futon. And just before he breached beneath the hem of her skirt, she slid her hands behind his neck, and ran her fingers through his new short hair. 

The feeling of her nails scratching against his scalp made him groan appreciatively into her mouth. He rewarded the attention by sliding his hand up to her ass, and squeezing the flesh beneath her panties firmly. 

She half moaned, half squeaked at the unexpected rough treatment. It made her push herself into him, smashing their chests together as she instinctively tried to pull him in closer. 

He got up on one knee, still kissing her deeply as she clung to him while he moved his hand to hold her jaw possessively in his grip. 

He felt like he could just sink into her. If he let himself relax, he could let her absorb him and he could disappear forever. She was so soft, so welcoming, so receptive to his attentions. He couldn’t tell if it was his humanity or simply her that made forgetting everything else in the world not only possible, but preferable. 

And that mouth of his. It had been causing her the most pleasurable torment with alarming regularity. When it wasn’t on her, like it was now, it was all she could think about. And when it was...it only made her yearn for more of him. More of this hard body pressing insistently into her soft one. Much like he was doing now. It felt so good, and so right that she should probably be terrified. But her nerve endings had taken over and ordered her not to think. 

Finally in need of air, he pulled away slightly. They were both panting heavily, eyes searching the other in hopes of uncovering intentions. 

His weren’t too hard to figure out. His heated stare perfectly showcased the determined predator that he was. But there was something contradictory burning within those violet depths. Something that implored her to not be afraid. 

But her fear was quite apparent. Quite palpable, in her shining blue eyes. But of what, he wasn’t certain. Because to his continued torment, this woman had never been afraid of him. Foolishly so. And though he would normally relish inspiring rightful fear in the young woman, he found the reaction was not one he desired. 

But that wasn’t all he saw there. She was afraid, but she was excited. Eager. She wanted to proceed. But something held her back. She was tentatively willing. He found that did not satisfy him. 

“Sorry what was the question?” she asked once she caught her breath, in something like a husky whisper. Her hands were still clinging tightly to his shoulders, and he enjoyed the way her chest continued to rise and fall dramatically with each labored breath. 

And he still held her jaw in his palm. His fingers traveled over her ear as he moved his face close to hers once again. 

Her breath caught when their noses almost touched. She prepared for another kiss, but felt a pang of disappointment when he stopped his descent. 

“Kagome, I am asking without words,” he informed her in a deep, gravelly tone. “Now, pay attention.” 

When he took her lips again she moaned, as if in relief. Her hands were back in his hair, and she pulled him into her again like she did not appreciate the separation. 

He startled her when he placed his other knee on the bed, and she gasped when he hooked his hand under her thigh, and pulled her all the way up to join him. 

Now she was completely on the bed. On her back, with him kneeling between her legs. She felt very exposed in her little green skirt, but the position caused the flesh between her legs to become very sensitive. And warm. 

He stole her eager lips again, and resumed stroking her leg as he relaxed some of his weight to settle on top of her. She decided it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. 

He moved his lips to her ear, and she trembled when she felt his tongue travel lightly along the shell. 

“Do you know what I am asking?” he whispered, before making a trail down the side of her throat. 

Lips, and tongue, and teeth scorched a tingling path down to her collarbone. Along the way, drawing attention to nerve endings she was unaware she possessed, and setting them aflame. 

It made it difficult to answer him, but eventually she managed. 

“I - I think so,” she whispered back, sighing with gratitude and incredulity as he kissed his way to the other side of her throat, and repeated the process there. 

His mouth was so warm, and it felt so good. 

‘Mn. Especially right _there_. Kami...’ 

“And what is your answer?” 

Thinking was hard. Especially with the things he was doing to her. 

She didn’t know what to do. She knew that she didn’t want him to stop. But also knew what was going to happen if she let him continue. 

Was she ready for that? 

Physically she was. She was getting more ready by the second. 

Mentally, she was ready too. She was at an age where she could handle the ramifications. 

Emotionally was up for debate. That was where she would admit that she might not be prepared. But that’s how you get prepared, right? With practice? 

But when she felt his fingertips graze tender flesh through the thin cotton of her panties, she suddenly remembered why she couldn’t do this. 

“We can’t.” 

He stopped toying with the skin at the base of her throat just long enough to reply. His eyes remained closed as he seemed to lose himself to his task. 

“We can. Right now.” 

Now he was sucking at the juncture of her neck. He could feel the rapid beat of her pulse hammering against his tongue. 

She was losing her will to fight as he seemed to have found a button on her shoulder that shot arousal to every feminine place on her body. 

But when he went to graze her panties again, she reached forward and blocked his access with her hand. 

This sobered him up a bit, and he withdrew. He fixed her with a puzzled expression. 

“No. I mean, I want to.” 

That only furthered his confusion. She wanted this. He could tell that she did. Why would she withhold? 

“Then what is stopping us?” 

She scooted back in the bed just a little while she had the opportunity, and the presence of mind. He remained where he was, but pushed himself up on his palms. 

Then, she confused him even further when a look of utter embarrassment dominated her flushed features. 

She had nothing to be ashamed of. If anyone should be feeling inadequate at the moment, it was him. 

His continued silence forced her to elaborate. He deserved a reason, so she was just going to have to admit it. 

“It's just kind of a bad time... of the month for this.” 

He tilted his head to the side and she just wanted to die. Gods, she really hoped she didn’t have to explain it to him. Demonesses have periods, right? 

“You are fertile?” 

“Well, that’s actually another thing we have to deal with.” Maybe she should make sure he still had those condoms. “But the point is, I’m bleeding. Like, a lot.” 

She felt her face heat up as he just kept staring at her with that bored expression. 

“I don’t care.” 

“What?” 

“It will not prevent my enjoyment.” He attempted to close the distance she’d created, but his advance only had her retreating again. But she was running out of room behind her, and he was still between her legs. Otherwise, she would have definitely closed them. 

“Well, it will prevent mine! I don’t want to do it when I’m... this way.” 

She was doing her best to avoid the stern look he was fixing her with. 

“Miko-” 

“No. It's going to be my first time, and I don’t want to remember it as being a gross mess.” Then, as an afterthought, she gestured to the futon. “Plus, this isn’t even our bed. It would be rude.” 

He did not understand her reluctance. It was foolish, not to mention very inconvenient for him. 

He tried to think of how to allay her fears, but it didn’t appear the stubborn woman was willing to budge. 

If she felt so strongly about it, he would be forced to appease her. 

“Very well,” he acquiesced, earning a relieved sigh from the young woman. 

“Thank you.” 

“Then let me taste you.” When she scooted back, she had put her womanhood conveniently close to his face. Relaxing his weight completely had his mouth hovering over the front of her skirt. He had yet to lift it, but a hand on each hip held her in place, and with a grin he looked up into her mortified features just waiting for the greenlight. 

“What? No way! That’s even worse! You’d really do that?” 

He looked up into her still mortified features, nonchalant as always. You wouldn’t know he had his head between a woman’s thighs at the moment. 

“What kind of male would deny his female pleasure for such a foolish reason?” he seemed to genuinely want to know. She had no answer to that. “Besides, have you ever known This One to shy away from bloodshed?” 

Wow, he really wasn’t squeamish. She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. But still... 

“What if I died tomorrow? Then the only memory you would have of me down there would be that one.” There. As long as everyone was pushing their ‘live like there’s no tomorrow’ mantras, how about that one for ya? 

“Much preferred to having none at all.” She scooted back enough to sit up, and hugged her knees tightly to her chest. 

“I’m just not comfortable. It is a little too much right now.” 

He released a sigh, and sat back on his knees in resignation. 

“Alright,” he relented, slightly exasperated, “as you wish.” Relaxing again, she loosened the death grip around her legs. 

“You may taste me instead.” 

“What?” In one quick motion, he spun around and laid on his back. Stretching out the length of the bed, he folded his arms behind his head. He accidently hit her in the leg with his elbow as she watched on incredulously. 

“Your cycle should not prevent your ability to perform on me.” 

He continued to look up at the ceiling, but she thought she saw the corner of his mouth twitch just a little, and glared at him flatly. 

“Now I know you’re joking. There’s no way you thought that was going to work.” 

His pupils slid over to her, and she finally smiled as she deemed it safe to stretch out on her back beside him. 

“Well, it appears we know who cares more for the other’s happiness.” 

“I think we just know who’s more desperate to get laid,” she retorted. 

“To think, of the two of us, I am perceived as the cruel one.” 

He turned on his side so he could face her. She did the same. They slipped back into an easy silence as the previous excitement and tension dissipated. She smiled as he lifted his hand and began fiddling with her haphazard locks. 

‘Maybe he misses his hair.’ 

“You had me excited. For a moment there, I truly thought you would give me what I wanted. I am such a fool.” 

His crass statement killed the tranquil moment, and she became annoyed that he would blame her for putting things off. 

“ _So_ sorry to disappoint you,” she intoned sarcastically. “You’re just going to have to be patient if you-” 

“Not that. I meant that I was fool enough to think you were actually going to be honest with me. I should have known not to get my hopes up.” 

She crinkled her brow in confusion. Was he drunk? Was the wine making him loopy? 

She got up on her elbow, and that stopped him from playing with her hair. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“It’s an excuse.” He rolled onto his back again, and folded one arm behind his head. The ceiling had won his interest once more. 

“What?” 

“Your cycle. I asked for an honest reason, and you give me excuses. You are lying again.” 

He really thought she was lying about it? What, did he want her to prove it to him? Was this some kind of sick game? 

"I was being honest.” She pushed herself up to sit again. She wasn’t really certain where he was going with this, but accusing her of being a liar definitely signified that the make out session was over. 

In a flash, he was sitting up too. 

“That is a lie right there,” he accused, startling her just a bit. “You forget, I used to have the ability to detect deceit by scent alone. Back then I had crossed your path on more than one occasion. You reeked of dishonesty, but for when you were furious, and it left you. I can no longer scent it, but I am learning to pick up the other signs as I observe you.” 

She scrambled off the futon and stood, crossing her arms and glaring down as he shifted to sit at the edge of the bed once again. 

“Well I’ve mostly only been furious when speaking to you, so who did you smell me lying to, huh?” 

He shrugged, and looked off to the side. 

“Mostly yourself, I’d imagine.” 

“What?!” she demanded incredulously, as he reached to the floor to retrieve his empty wine glass. 

“You walk around with this air of ‘everything is grand. Everyone is basically good, and everything is going to be alright.’ You tell lies to yourself and everybody else to lessen the harsh blows of reality, or perhaps as a shield from pain.” He placed the glass on the nightstand, and proceeded to top himself off again. “But pain is how you improve. It is through pain which you learn, and grow, and excel. If you want success in this life, you must drop that rosy tint though which you view it.” 

She was beginning to understand that alcohol made the Western Lord annoyingly chatty. She was wishing the old, stoic, quiet Sesshoumaru would come back right about now. No such luck. 

“You do neither me, nor you, nor anybody else any favors by distorting reality to your liking. It is how you never saw it coming when Inuyasha finally admitted he chose your friend over you.” His cold assessment floored her, nearly giving her whiplash from the dramatic change in his cadence. Where was this coming from? 

“You told yourself he loved you, and he was just waiting for the right moment, and everything was going to be wonderful for you because you did not wish to believe anything else. I had been there a matter of days, and simply by observing him for five minutes, I knew he wanted her, and he did not want you, and that you had no idea.” 

She didn’t understand why he was getting so angry. But he seemed hell-bent on tearing into her, and from her experience, there was very little she could do to prevent that. 

Maybe that was what he wanted. Did he really think she would throw herself at him just to stop him from yelling at her? Was this some kind of foreplay for him? Because it was not working for her. 

She just continued to glare as he took another sip, though he really didn’t appear to need it. 

“You think me cruel for the harsh manner I choose to speak. But is it not even crueler to give false hope where there truly is none?” 

She couldn’t make him stop, but she didn’t have to look at him. Arms still crossed, she turned her back on him and tried to tune him out. 

“If you think I like to see you walking about so delusional, trust that I do not. It is why I do my best to tell you what is true. To show you. I do not want you to endure the pain when you finally, _finally_ learn of the way things really are. I would much rather you hate me now for my ‘cruelty’ than yourself later on, when you tear yourself apart for not seeing what has always been there.” 

But she couldn’t ignore him. He would never let her. As what he was saying started to soak in, she dropped her arms slowly. 

“But when you are angry, much like I see you becoming now, you finally drop the tint. You forget your foolish need to be polite and upbeat and kind, and you tell me what you really think. How you really feel. Whether or not what you have to tell me accurate, it is the best truth you know. It is without flowery distortion.” 

She slowly began to turn around. When she did, she could recognize the subtle differences in his features. The glaze in his eyes, and the flush in his cheeks, and the uncontrolled twitches in his facial muscles all spoke of the wine’s effect on him. 

But when she turned to fully face him again, just as hurt as she was angry, she noticed him begin to soften. A small humorless smile took some of the bite out of his language. And when he spoke again, it was slightly gentler than before. 

“When I see you like that, it gives me hope. And I enjoy every second when you finally tell me what you think of me, and how you feel about me and what you perceive of my intentions. It is you finally granting me the respect I am due, not attempting to play me for a fool. I don’t like it when you hide from me, Kagome. I want to see all of you.” 

There was something dark, and desirous, and threatening in the way he was looking at her. But to what end, she could not exactly say. And she refused to run from him, no matter how terrifying he attempted to be. 

“What’s wrong with being optimistic, huh?” She fought to keep the tears at bay, but she hadn’t managed to keep the tremble out of her voice completely. 

“You’re right. The world can be a terrible place. And that’s why you need people like me. Sometimes, just a little bit of faith will keep a person going. Sometimes, things can be just like you want them to be if you try hard enough.” 

His eyes turned hard again in a second. 

“But not always.” 

“No,” she agreed, shaking her head slowly. “Not always. But I’ve got to try.” He frowned in reply, actually averting his eyes as he indulged in another long gulp from his glass. 

She was trying to appeal to him, trying to plead by softening her own approach some. “I’m not lying to you when I’m being kind to you. I’m not disrespecting you when I try to inject some cheer to a hopeless situation. I never meant to patronize you. But if you think I’m lying to myself you are wrong. Because I really do believe things can be okay. I believe good outcomes are possible.” 

Suddenly, she thought she understood why he was so upset. He was frustrated, and taking it out on her. 

She took a seat beside him, and noticed the tense muscles of his shoulders and the way he clenched his fist tightly into the sheets at his side. 

He watched suspiciously as she gentled her approach, and turned to him. She placed a hand on his arm. 

“I believe we will find Rin, and she will be just fine, and she can go back with you just like she was before. And I truly believe you will be yourself again one day. You will go back to being Sesshoumaru and everything will be how it was.” 

But her reassurances didn’t have their desired effect. He sized her up with a dubious scowl. 

“Is that so?” 

Stroking his arm up and down in an attempt to be soothing, she nodded. He reached over and set his glass back down on the table. 

“Tell me, Kagome. Why are you so apprehensive about laying with me?” 

And then she stopped, and removed her hand from him. She was annoyed again. 

“Is that what this is about?” He was mad about the sex? She couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe a strong, honorable guy like him would be such a pouty baby about getting rejected. And she didn’t even reject him. Not yet at least. Right now, she was seriously considering it. 

“Answer me,” he demanded. “Honestly this time.” 

“I told you, my cycle-” 

“Is an excuse, and a rather poor one. I asked for the reason, and I asked for your honesty. You claim to be truthful? Now is your chance. Tell me why.” 

She wanted to scream at him. What did he want her to say? Sesshoumaru usually had a method to his madness, so what was he getting at? 

He wanted a reason. That was what he said. Apparently, hers wasn’t good enough for him, so what was another reason? 

“Because, I’m just not ready.” 

“Why?” 

She clenched her fists, and tried to come up with an answer. 

“Because, I want to get to know each other better first.” 

“Why?” 

She used her tight fights to pound the bed angrily at her sides. 

“Because I want to make sure you aren’t the kind of guy who is just going to take what he wants from me and leave.” 

“Why would I not be?” 

“What?!” Every time she thought he had made her as furious as she could get, he managed to surprise her and take her to another plane. 

“If you truly believed that I would return to myself, and collect Rin, and go back to the way everything was, why would you expect me to remain?” 

His question stopped her cold. He didn’t bother waiting for a reply. 

“Do you presume to come to the Western Lands as my lady?” he asked condescendingly. She responded with petulance. 

“No.” 

“Would you like me to move to your village after the transformation?” 

The thought seemed to worry her. Knowing he could tell, she tried to appear apologetic. 

“No, I would assume not.” 

“Is that what you want?” she asked dubiously. He scoffed, as if offended. 

“Of course not. If I am to be demon again, you and I cannot endure.” 

She couldn’t help but feel rejected by his declaration. But she conceded it was something she hadn’t even considered until now. 

He was right. If - _when_ – he became demon again, how were things supposed to work between them? She was a little ashamed that it had not crossed her mind. Well, it had. But she hadn’t exactly given much thought to what she planned on doing about it. 

This had been moving rather fast, to be fair. But how had she been considering a future with this man when she vowed to ensure he would not remain a man forever? 

He noticed how distressed she had suddenly become, and gentled his tone; though he maintained his sternness. 

“I can remain by your side for the duration of my humanity, but no longer.” 

And there it was. That was all he was willing to give her. 

On brand as ever, he made no bones about his position. He was as brutally honest as she had come to expect. No flowery distortions; no sugar coating. 

But how did she not see it? Maybe he was right about the rosy tint. She could see his disappointment in her for overlooking that important fact, and she felt rightly ashamed. 

She had been ignoring a painful outcome to support her own desires, while at the same time ignoring his own, and the promises she had made him. 

But there was another outcome that he seemed to be willfully ignoring. She couldn’t look him in the eye as she softly gave voice to it. 

“What if you don’t become demon again?” 

The fury in his aura was fleeting, and palpable. By the time she turned to regard him, he had straightened his back, and was looking down at her with his patented indignant superiority. 

“I do not plan for failure. And I refuse to engage with a woman whose happiness is contingent on it.” 

It wasn’t! 

Was it? 

The way he put it made her sound like a terrible person. 

She didn’t want him to fail. In fact, she had vowed to help return him to youkai at all costs. But then, what would that mean for them? 

There was a chance that he might never change back. But he seemed unwilling to accept that outcome as a possibility, and offended that she would even consider it. 

So then, what were they doing? 

“I am not my brother. I will not wish myself human to appease a miko’s heart.” 

He was right. If she meant what she said, she would do anything she could to help him become demon again. But if her intentions were earnest, she would be working towards a conclusion that would eventually spell the end of their relationship. After all, she couldn’t expect him to hang around forever after he changed back. They might be compatible right now, but once he was youkai again, that might no longer be the case. He seemed not to think so. But could they? 

Was it possible for them to continue seeing each other after he’d changed back? Would being a demon really change how he felt about her? Or was he just not willing to entertain the idea? 

She couldn’t exactly expect him to drop his whole life to live with her in a human village. So what was she willing to give up to make things work? 

“Why couldn’t I come back with you?” 

He seemed startled by the question, and couldn’t contain the mockery in his tone. 

“Despite the risks to your safety and the possible destabilization of the West?” Her crestfallen demeanor had actually rendered him sympathetic. 

She was so naïve. So young. So untainted by reality that he just wished he could gather her close, and protect her from the harsh winds that threatened to pervert her. 

But he couldn’t. 

So the next best thing was to prepare her for what was in store. Being cruel was kindest, and there was no man crueler than he. 

But it was a lie not to admit that tarnishing her pristine heart took a toll on his own. He wished he could lie to her, give her false hopes. But he vowed he never would, and he stood by his promises. 

His ironic smile was haunting. In sharp contrast to the obvious pain, and barest hint of spite in his gaze. 

“Because you won't want to come back. Not with the cold-hearted daiyoukai who killed your human lover.” 

His icy statement left her aghast, as well as the confidence behind it. She wanted to tell him he was wrong. 

She wanted to tell him that she didn’t care what race he was, that it was him she wanted to be with. 

But for some reason, she couldn’t. 

No, she didn’t care if he was demon. That wasn’t important to her. But he was right. 

She’d grown to have feelings for this human man sitting beside her. He was the one she was interested in. 

Could she feel the same way when he turned back to himself? Would he even want her to? 

“You’re not him,” she insisted, as much to herself as to him. “Not anymore. You are the real you. People change.” 

His sharp, humorless laugh had her jump in her seat. 

“Some more than others, apparently. I could not be more different from my previous self.” He looked himself over with unconcealed resentment, before turning the attention to her. “Perhaps that is why you enjoy _This_ Sesshoumaru so much.” 

He wasn’t wrong. Nothing about the way he was in the past held any sort of appeal to her. If he’d had any redeeming qualities back then, he’d done a fine job of hiding them. Though it was possible that perhaps she didn’t know him well enough then to see them. But he wasn’t like that anymore, and of that she was pleased. 

“I like the way you are now.” The flat look he gave her had her squirming just a little. He was far from perfect, after all. “Well, mostly. What is wrong with that?” 

She was desperate to rationalize her attraction. To justify making it okay. 

But he couldn’t let her do that. He needed to make her see. 

“If I were not human, I would not be here. Not with you.” 

And that was how it was. It was more than just the circumstances that had brought them together. The only reason they could work was also the only reason he was willing to allow it. 

There were a hundred reasons why his demon self could not take a miko, she was free to take her pick. It wasn’t like he wanted to hurt her. He certainly derived no pleasure from crushing the gentle woman’s spirit. A fact that was amplified at the dejected look in her eyes and defeated slump of her shoulders. 

He huffed, frustrated with himself and the whole situation, and took her cheek tenderly in his palm. He forced her to look at him as he removed any trace of anger or upset from his façade, and spoke to her gently, as if trying to protect her from any further pain by his hand. She looked back at him sadly, leaning into his touch, and trying to absorb every bit of warmth he was offering. 

“As I am, I care for your safety. I have respect for you. I am attracted to you.” She was aware he was trying to mollify her after his harsh declarations. And though she believed him, it did little to console her. For she could hear what he wasn’t saying. That it would all change when he was a demon again. 

“What else do you want from me, miko? We may both indulge in a moment or two of pleasure, but it can be nothing beyond that.” 

He was being as honest as he could be with her. He wouldn't give her false hopes or promises, but rather lay it out just as it is. 

Now the question was, could she accept that? Could she indulge in a relationship that wasn’t a sure thing? 

Perhaps she could. Perhaps she could involve herself in something that might not last forever. But only if he could involve himself as seriously as she could. 

“So tell me, what are you waiting for? What do you want before we can proceed?” 

He could not promise her tomorrow. But he did seem willing to promise her the duration of his humanity. That could be enough for now, but he had to be all in. 

She steeled herself, and tapped into that honesty he so desperately craved. 

“I want to be in love. And I want you to love me.” 

Really, that was all she wanted. It didn’t matter if couldn’t last. If she could know love, if only for a little while, she could deem the whole thing worth it. 

His light scoff, however, was not promising. 

He eased himself back down on the bed, one had bent behind his head as he seemed to like to do, and she couldn’t help but feel like she had been dismissed. 

“In that case, I'm afraid you are in for quite a wait.” 

And with that, she felt the last fibers snap, and her heart was officially in two. The actual pain in her chest was somehow sobering enough to keep her more chaotic emotions beneath the surface. 

She looked down at him in disbelief, only to have him ignoring her again in favor of staring up at that fascinating spot on the ceiling he seemed to like so much. 

“Are you saying you could never love me?” she asked, not much more than whispered. 

“I am not certain I even know what love is.” Ah yes, she remembered now. Their conversation on the bench that evening made no secret of his regard toward that emotion. No more than a silly nuisance, as far as he’s concerned. At least he was consistent. 

But to her, he seemed overly dismissive, almost resistant, even resentful of the idea. 

She’d hoped that it could change for him. Was it foolish to hope to change him? 

“I think you know it when you feel it,” she tried. But she only earned a pitying look for her efforts. 

“Then I am afraid that should tell you something.” 

Okay, ouch. But it wasn’t like she expected him to be in love with her already or anything. She wasn’t in love with him yet. She'd only just realized that she liked him. 

But she didn’t disregard that it was possible, down the road. It seemed like he already had. 

“Do you feel anything for me?” 

He smiled warmly at her, and that stupid, annoying hope fluttered again in her stomach. 

“I do. And I have already detected what.” 

But she had learned her lesson. She would never let her hopes soar so high again. From now on, she vowed to keep her expectations reasonable. It hurt way too much to see them crash and burn. 

“Okay, well... what would you call this?” she asked guardedly, and gestured between them with her hand. 

Before she knew it, he was sitting up again. She hated how her pulse sped up when he put his face close to hers. And she hated how instead of pushing him away, she wanted to pull him closer, and make him sooth her with his mouth in a way his words just couldn’t. 

He used a single finger to retrace the path on her throat his lips had made mere moments ago, as if trying to reignite the fire he’d set and simply walked away. 

He didn’t exactly succeed, but she had to repress a shiver that sought to recall his trespass. 

“Infatuation.” He said it like it was a good thing. Like it was some wonderful, magical sin that they were lucky to behold. But she was not impressed. In fact, she felt a little insulted. 

“That’s it? You’re just infatuated?” It sounded so superficial. Something inconsequential and petty. 

A passing fancy, not to be taken seriously. 

It was exactly what she was afraid of. 

He withdrew, seeing her incredulous temper rising, and narrowed his eyes condemningly. 

“Hn. And so are you, miko. Do not forget, only days ago you still had hearts in your eyes for my half breed brother. You thought that was love as well, but you were merely infatuated with him. And now, you are infatuated with me. At least, this human version of myself.” 

He spared a moment to give his current form another disgusted once over. When he looked up at her again, he saw her regarding him as well. She looked confused, like she did not see what he saw, and was trying at least to understand his displeasure, his discontent with his own body. 

But she would never see what he saw. That was the point. 

“Earlier in the gardens you told This One you preferred him in his human form, and you were being truthful. You have been able to mold me into something acceptable for yourself. You cut my hair to your liking and dressed me in your era’s clothes.” 

He pulled at the shirt he was currently wearing to accent his point. 

“This human who is here, whom you helped create, whom you wish to give your heart to, is not the real Sesshoumaru. The real Sesshoumaru will not acquiesce to your wishes. He is strong and powerful, and he will no longer be to your liking.” 

She continued to look on helplessly as he was stuck with the task of reminding her exactly with whom she was dealing. Perhaps he was reminding himself as well. 

“The real Sesshoumaru was the one you met in Father’s tomb. The vicious, bloodthirsty beast who attempted to melt you with his poison, and strike you with his sword.” 

He could see in her eyes as she seemed to recall those events. She truly had forgotten. That did not sit well with him. 

“And when he has returned, he will be the bastard who killed your human lover, and took him from you forever. When I change back to myself, no matter what may transpire between us, all you will see is the demon you hate, who tried to take your life. And this me, will be gone.” 

He made a gesture with his hand as if something were disintegrating into thin air. Because really, that was how it would be. 

The second he was demon again, this human he was masquerading around as would be cease to exist. Never to return, he would make certain of it. And he would do all he could to erase any reminders of this whole undignified debacle. 

She must not grow terribly attached to the man who sat with her on this bed, for the demon lord would soon return to put him out of his misery. And demon lord Sesshoumaru had no affinity for humans. 

It’s not to say he would harm her. The vow he made would carry over to his demon form. But any feelings he may accumulate regarding her would not. This time he spent as human was all he was willing to give her. 

“So what, we should just sleep together right now because we don’t know how long you’re going to be like this?” 

He knew she was aggrieved at the notion, resentful of the situation. But at least she understood. And he hoped after giving it some thought, she would agree that it was for the best. 

“Exactly,” he confirmed with a smile. He scooped her hands into his. “We must live only in these moments, for tomorrow is uncertain.” 

The advice all her friends had given her over the past few day were racing through her brain. 

It seemed to be a common theme: we all could go at any minute, so live like there’s no tomorrow. 

She thought he might be different. Surely, someone so powerful, who has lived so long would not subscribe to the idea that he could go at any moment. Every decision that he made; he would need to live with for a very long time. He had time to be strategic... time to plan ahead. At least he used to. 

The humanity must have changed him. Made everything inconsequential. 

But then what’s the point of even trying? Why even hope for a future if there isn’t one? 

“If we don’t know what’s going to happen, why can’t you live this moment like you could love me in the next?” 

That seemed to catch him off guard. He didn’t appear to have an easy answer ready for that one. 

All she wanted was hope. Just the chance, the possibility that after getting to know her, he could grow to love her. But he didn’t appear willing to give it. Perhaps he really wasn’t able. 

And if he wasn’t, then maybe no one was. Maybe Miroku was right. Maybe there really only was one way to a man’s heart. 

“You know what, fine. I give up.” 

The perplexed look he’d been wearing turned to one of impotent shock when she grabbed the hem of her shirt and peeled it quickly over her head. She tossed it carelessly to the floor behind her as she got up onto her knees and without preamble, grabbed onto his waistband and began searching for the ties on his pants. 

He was frozen stiff at the unexpected action, and words escaped him as he could do little else than admire the flattering breast bindings he had only begun to examine with his fingers in the kitchen. 

“Sex appears to be the only way to get close to someone. Without it, I guess love just can’t exist. So let's do it. Do you think you can love me then? Will you at least pretend?” 

Her erratic outburst snapped him out of his stupor, and his hands flew to hers to halt her clumsy progress. 

She fought him off, but he was stronger. She struggled as he grabbed her wrists firmly, and tugged them away from his person. 

“Let go,” she demanded angrily, fighting her own tears now as well. 

“No. You’re being foolish.” She continued to struggle fruitlessly until he finally had her back pulled flush against him, hugging her tightly with a wrist in each hand. 

Thoroughly trapped and rendered immobile, she finally gave up. Tears started to roll down her cheeks, but he was committed to holding her firm until she wore herself out. 

“I just want someone to care about me,” she admitted quietly, unable to restrain her sorrow any longer. He leaned in, squeezing her tighter as he did so, and put his lips right next to her ear. 

“I care for you.” It helped to hear him say that even more than she'd expected. She sniffed, and managed to cut off the supply of salty liquid in her eyes. 

“But you’re going to leave me.” 

He only paused a moment, and then relaxed his hold. 

“Eventually, yes,” he confirmed softly, but with as much certainty as always. 

“You saved a human that night in the cave, and his life belongs to you. It may span fifty years, or be gone tomorrow, but I will never stop searching for a way to end it and return to the one I had before.” 

His grip on her was so loose now that she could easily escape it. But she chose to remain, and feel his warm breath tickle pleasingly across her neck. 

“I can promise to stay by your side for as long as I am in this skin, but if you require promises of forever, that is something I am unable to give.” 

When she turned to look at him over her shoulder, he lowered her arms, before finally dropping them. 

“You have to decide if the risk of pain outweighs the possibility of pleasure. I can give you my word that I shall do everything in my power to make our short time together worth the pain of having to part. But the choice is yours to make.” 

She finally turned around to face him, both now sitting on their knees. He fought the urge to touch her. He did not want to sway her answer towards something she might grow to regret. He understood her position, and she would be forced to live with whatever she decided for herself. 

“You are not alone. It is a choice all of your kind has to make.” 

He hoped that brought her at least a little solace. Humans did not mate, therefor nothing tied them to one another accept their word. Knowing what the word of a mortal was worth, he could see how it was by no means a certainty. No wonder she was so apprehensive to trust her potential partners. 

He hoped that whatever male she ended up with was worthy of her trust. He vowed to drop in on the young man when the time came and ensure himself of it. The idea of her with another was not a pleasant one, however. 

“I saved a human’s life that night, but I saved a demon too. Can’t you see that?” 

She’d torn him from his increasingly violent thoughts, and not for the first time that evening rendered him speechless with a simple question. 

She of course was right. If she hadn’t taken him out of the snow that night, demon Sesshoumaru wouldn’t even be a possibility. She knew that by helping him, she was helping the real him too. And still, she saved him. 

But the man she pulled into that sleeping bag with her was not a demon. If he was, she would not have survived the night. If he was, he would never have needed her help in the first place. 

He looked down at those large, pleading blue eyes and knew what she was asking him. But he couldn’t. 

Even if he wanted to, he could not promise that once returned to himself, he would feel the same way he did now. He had been himself as a demon before, and that youkai had no desire to be with a human woman. 

The real Sesshoumaru could never be with a mortal. Because the second that he was, the real Sesshoumaru would cease to exist. And that time, it would be forever. 

He didn’t have to answer her. She could see his answer in his eyes. She looked down regretfully, and tried to be satisfied that he was at least being honest with her. 

“If there is no future in it, then I don’t want to get attached. I’ve had my heart broken enough.” 

It was not what he had hoped. He hoped he could make her understand that the time you get with someone is well worth the pain it is to lose them. It was a conclusion he himself had finally come to, after grappling over his own questionable choices. 

Losing Rin to those tigers was the most painful loss he’d ever experienced. One he continued to endure. 

Forget that it was his fault, and she would have been better off if he’d just left her in a human village, or even just left her dead where he found her in the woods. 

If only he’d never revived her, he would not have to go through the seemingly endless pain of having her taken from him. He could sleep at night, and the ache he felt all over would not persist to torture him every hour of the day. 

He often had asked himself if he could do it again, knowing what he knew now, if he would have brought her back. 

But if leaving her for dead would have meant that he would never have known her, never experienced any of the wonderful things he had seen and felt in his time with her, then he would not be the great demon he was... had been. 

It was she who taught him to master Tenseiga, and she who helped him reclaim his arm, and create his new sword. Those experiences shaped him into who he was, and he would not trade them for anything, particularly not for something as pathetic as not wishing to feel pain. As he told the miko, pain improves you. 

But the choice was hers to make, and she had made it. She was walking through the woods with his father’s sword, and he was Rin, laying there dead from a wolf attack. She’d run the risk/reward calculation and ultimately decided to stay her hand. He wasn’t worth it to her. 

He knew she was wrong. He could have taught her things, showed her things about herself that would have changed who she was for the better. He would have left her, but he would have left her in better condition than he had found her in. But she will never know it. 

The pain was not worth the risk, and he couldn’t fault her for her choice. She’d certainly been through enough of it to make an educated decision. 

“Very well.” He resigned himself, and with a single nod, he stood up off the bed and began to walk across the room. 

“Are you leaving now?” she asked, sounding more than a little hurt at his abandonment. At least she knew she was right. It was only the possibility of sex that kept a guy around. 

He stopped. She watched him bend over, and flushed with embarrassment when she saw what he had in his hand. 

He turned back, and saw she was getting redder with each step he took back to her. He reclaimed his seat on the edge of the bed, and handed her the shirt she’d frantically removed a few minutes ago. Nothing was said as she snatched it from him and hurriedly put it on. 

Once she was dressed again, he took her chin in his hand, and looked into her eyes so she could see his sincerity for herself. 

“I have already told you. As long as I am human, I shall remain by your side.” 

His human life belonged to her; he’d already decided it. His loyalties wouldn’t change just because she didn’t desire any further physical contact between them. It would have been nice, but it was not a requirement. 

She vowed to help locate Rin, and assist him in finding a way to return him to his demon self. In return, he would remain her companion in whatever capacity she deemed fit. For as long as he was human. 

He started to stand again, intent on claiming one of the bedrolls and granting her the space she most likely desired after such an emotionally draining evening. But her gentle touch on his arm prevented his ascent. 

“Will you stay?” she asked hopefully, and when he did not immediately reply, “Please?” 

How could he resist? The bed was much more comfortable than the floor. But he acknowledged that was not the only appeal of her offer. 

He nodded, and won a shy smile from the young woman before she scooted over to make room. She laid down with her back to him, hoping he would take the hint. 

Ever perceptive, he did. Laying down behind her, he pressed himself against her back, and threw his arm around her middle, gathering her tightly to him. 

She sighed in relief, and laced her fingers with his where they rested upon her stomach. His hot breath on her neck was soothing, and helped lull her into a pleasant sleep. While his protective embrace comforted her with the knowledge that she wasn’t alone. 

* * *

“I am so disappointed.” 

“I’m the one that’s disappointed, houshi. How could you leave Kagome alone with that bastard all night? You’re supposed to watch out for her.” Inuyasha was less than pleased when he heard about the stunt Miroku pulled the night before. He’d been grumbling about it all morning, and continued to scowl at him as he loaded up Kirara for his next journey. 

“Nothing happened,” Kagome assured him for the millionth time. “Sesshoumaru was a perfect gentleman. I wasn’t in danger.” She smiled warmly at the man in question, and he graciously returned the favor. 

“I am so disappointed.” 

Miroku was less than pleased for an entirely different reason. When he’d returned after his date with the housemaid and found the couple locked in an embrace, he giddily jumped to the wrong conclusion. 

She supposed she couldn’t fault him. Sometime during the night, she had turned in her sleep so she was facing the former dog demon. He had not relinquished his hold on her however, and she clutched him tightly to her in an act that could not be blamed entirely on sleep. 

She must have looked pretty cozy nuzzled up against his neck, and she could not confirm or deny recalling exactly where his hands were resting. 

But she made sure to set the monk straight, and he was not pleased to hear the news. 

“Then how come you guys were in the same bed, huh? Miroku says he found you asleep in each other's arms. Explain that.” The last of supplies were affixed to the fire cat, and now the only thing keeping him from leaving was awaiting answers from his troublesome packmates. 

“It was cold. He was warming me up.” Inuyasha had heard that before, and the flat look he gave her told her he wasn’t buying it this time. The mansion was well heated, and he himself was forced to sleep atop the covers. Though to be fair, there had been quite a bit of activity to help heat up his room. She tried again. “Plus, the bed was better than the floor. None of us wanted to sleep down there.” 

“Eheh. Sure.” She put her hands on her hips, and sent him an impressive glare. 

“Use your invasive nose then, if you’re going to be nosy. You can tell nothing happened.” 

The bold suggestion surprised him, but he did relax his posture. 

“Yeah, I guess she is on her cycle. No man in his right mind would try to mess around with that going on.” She met Sesshoumaru’s eyes, and saw the amusement dancing in them. It took all she had not to explode with laughter. 

“I am so disappointed.” One last glare at Miroku would have to be enough to tide him over. Then, just to be safe, he sent a bonus one to his half-brother as well. 

“Alright, well. I won’t be back ‘til morning so the girls can take my room tonight. You and Miroku can cuddle up if you get cold this time, bastard.” 

The suggestion garnered no reaction from Sesshoumaru, but the lecher suddenly had a devious grin on his face. 

“Perhaps the ladies would like to do the same. And if you are still cold, I will of course be happy to add my heat to that delicious sandwich.” Inuyasha began to take a menacing step forward, but Sango strategically threw her arms around him to keep him in place. 

“Just try it and I’ll make sure you can never be with a woman again, monk.” He turned to kiss Sango goodbye. “Feel free to kick his ass while I’m gone. Ready Kirara?” 

The fire cat meowed the affirmative, and he hopped on his trusty steed. 

They watched them fly until they were out of sight, which was only a matter of seconds. General Yakimoto had given them several points of contact to investigate throughout the day, and everyone was eager to get started. 

“Alright, guess it’s time to move on. Is everybody ready?” Sango and Miroku began to march ahead, and before she joined them, Kagome shared a brief glance with Sesshoumaru. 

He seemed to be waiting for her; ready to go on her word. The picture of patience, he appeared content with letting her take her time as she adjusted her pack more comfortably on her shoulders. She smiled widely at him. 

“I’m ready.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You weren’t imagining things, this was an incredibly long chapter. at 60 pages and over 27k words, it is my longest of any fic ever (so far, haha.) I'm getting out of control here. 
> 
> tell me what you prefer: Really long chapters that take longer to update, or shorter chapters that update more frequently? Inquiring minds want to know. 
> 
> LOL, oh yeah, idk what ants can really lift. Sounded good tho, yeah? 


	19. Heart to Heart

More than a week had passed since they left General Yakimoto’s mansion. And though they had covered quite a bit of ground as far as distance traveled, they still hadn’t made any progress locating the tiger clan. 

The General had referred them to his contacts in the next four villages. And this one, just like the last three, turned out to be a dead end. 

It wasn’t all a wasted effort. The last three towns were on their map, and they had planned to pass through them anyway. Mentioning the General’s name ensured the group seamless cooperation, and even afforded them a place to stay while they questioned the villagers. 

The fourth village however, the one they were currently at, had not been part of the original plan. Sesshoumaru had originally opted to skip it, as it was slightly off course and did not appear entirely promising as far as gathering any information. But the General was very insistent, and claimed that his allies there would likely be of great help to them. They weren’t. 

As that became increasingly apparent, the Lord of the West had become particularly snippy; deeming the entire excursion a complete waste of time. 

That’s not to say he had been a total pleasure to travel with until that point... 

Miroku had expected the dynamic to shift a bit, after what he had witnessed back at the mansion. But to his dismay and confusion, Sesshoumaru and Kagome seemed dead set on acting like the whole thing never happened. 

He tried to press Kagome for details, and offer his encouragement of the pairing. But she had been dismissive; brushing the kiss off as a fluke, and insisting they decided they were better off as friends. Any attempts to find out what may have changed their minds was met with vague denials and unsatisfying excuses. Sesshoumaru, of course, was no more forthcoming. It seemed they were united in pretending nothing had occurred. 

The others had been oblivious of anything going on between them. So once it was clear he would be getting nothing out of the couple, Miroku eventually relented and let the matter drop. 

He did notice that the pair had become a bit more hostile towards each other than usual. They had taken to bickering even more than they were before. Where they typically used to clash heads on only matters of some importance, it seemed that now any little disagreement was enough to get them going. 

At times, it almost seemed like they were itching for something to argue about. The monk couldn’t help but wonder if there wasn’t a little pent up frustration that was perhaps to blame. 

“I’m just saying, that was stupid,” the miko reiterated as the group made their way across town. 

“It was necessary.” 

To make matters worse, they had just been ejected from their lodging. The General’s ally in this village was the sister of one of his soldiers. She had a very nice home, and was willing to let the search party stay with her while in town. 

“It was _so_ not necessary. You didn’t have to break his nose.” 

Unfortunately, the woman had another brother staying with her who was not as upstanding as Yakimoto’s soldier. It did not take long for Sesshoumaru to lose his patience with the young man, and the results saw them – respectfully – ordered to vacate the property. 

“He threatened you,” Sesshoumaru deemed fit to remind her, growing increasingly weary of her dismissive behavior. And selective memory regarding the incident. 

“He was only flirting,” she justified, ignoring his pointed glare. “The poor guy just wasn’t very tactful.” 

“He threatened to assault you, did he not?” 

And to be fair to Sesshoumaru, the man had been particularly crass. But to be fair to the man, Kagome was looking particularly fetching today. Like, amazingly fetching. 

And not just today. 

In the feudal era, Kagome had never been wanting for attention. Her clothing alone was enough to ensure every eyeball in the vicinity was aimed straight at her. 

The winter cold had caused her to start covering more of herself lately. But for some reason, ever since leaving the mansion, she had decided to slip back into her old green skirt. She wore a variety of different tops nowadays, but the most jarring difference was the sudden addition of makeup. 

Nothing excessive. Just a bit of eyeliner; dark black or else midnight blue. And depending on her shirt, she would apply a light layer of lipstick that ran the gamut from bright pink all the way to burgundy. Today, she had chosen to go with more of a red. 

But that was all it took. Miroku immediately noticed how eager the village men seemed to become when they began to make their rounds. At first, it seemed like a great way to collect more information quickly. But as the days wore on, it started to become clear that what the village men had told them was very likely fabrication. Invented, for the purposes of chatting up the pretty young woman in the group. 

But the miko did not seem to mind the attention in the least. And of course, the monk had been enjoying the view himself. 

“He said he _wanted_ to do things to me, he wasn’t really going to do them.” Her assurances, as they walked together down the main road through town, did little to convince the former dog demon that he was in any way in the wrong. 

“You would take that chance? Hn. Perhaps you would have liked that.” 

And Sesshoumaru was on a roll. Despite having several tense confrontations, he had not lost a fight since the soldiers broke his arm. 

Perhaps it was his growing confidence, or perhaps he was becoming more accustomed to his new form, but the few times he had actually needed to prove himself in a challenge, he’d managed to walk away from the crumpled human without a scratch on him. 

But they had not encountered a demon as of yet. 

His recent fights had been warranted, and garnered no objection from the pack. But this last one was a little grey as to whether the force was really necessary. 

Not to mention, thrashing the young man had seen to them getting kicked out of his sister’s home. Now, they had to scramble for a place to sleep tonight, or they were going to be camping outdoors. Not that anyone else saw fit to gripe at him about it. 

In fact, Kagome was the only one who seemed comfortable calling Sesshoumaru out. Not only comfortable, but eager. The others were used to their constant squabbling by now, so rather than get involved, they simply marched ahead, and let the pair duke it out until a winner had been declared between the two of them. 

“Of course not. He was _so_ not my type.” She was a little rankled that he would imply such a thing, but knew he was trying to get under her skin. And the way to get under _his_ skin, was to act like she didn’t mind. “But if you are going to beat up every guy who wants to sleep with me, we are never going to find Rin.” 

Apparently, Sesshoumaru was not the only one who had seen a recent bolster of confidence lately. His eyes slid flatly down to the woman walking at his side. 

“Someone certainly has a high opinion of herself.” He earned a short, incredulous burst of laughter for his comment. 

“Look who’s talking! Mr. God’s Gift to Female Kind.” He simply kept his focus on the tree line ahead, and the rest of the traveling party who was beginning to gain distance between them. 

When she quickened her pace to catch up to them, his smooth baritone succeeded in slowing her steps. 

“There are two things wrong with your comparison,” he began. Though she slowed her speed, he didn’t bother increasing his to meet her. “First; I do not entertain the advances of those who seek to sully me.” 

Experience told her that his condescending tone would result in an insufferable end to his statement. Nonetheless, she stopped in her tracks, and waited for the Western Lord to reach her side. 

Once he did, she looked up at him impatiently. 

“And the second?” Her demand had the man halting abruptly beside her. But her annoyance did not irk him, as it had endlessly in the past. Instead, he relished it. 

He assumed she was aware, yet she continued to bait him still. It seemed she enjoyed it too. The girl really was a glutton for punishment. 

He turned his head, despite his rigid form remaining forward, and held her gaze a moment just for dramatic effect. 

“In my case, it is the truth.” And then he continued ahead without her. She really was a masochist. 

His stride was long, but his steps were slow. It didn’t take long for her to catch him. 

“I thought the kami put you here for war, not to arouse women.” The miko fell into step beside him, glaring up expectantly to receive his retort. She mimicked his form out of mockery, folding both arms behind her back. But when she realized she hadn’t won his attention, she bent forward to try and encroach on his line of sight. 

“Alas, my duties are numerous and tedious,” he all but sighed in faux-exasperation, keeping his gaze forward. 

Kagome relaxed her stiff posture with a huff, and shot him another glare. 

“Are you sure you weren’t put here to annoy the eff out of me?” 

“As I said, I have several functions.” 

“Is one of them to shut up?” she immediately asked. He answered just as quickly. 

“It is my most practiced and perhaps most enjoyable duty. It is you who insists on picking fights, after I so generously prevented yet another assault on your _‘irresistible_ _person_.’” 

The sarcastic tint at the end caused Kagome’s face to scrunch in offense. 

The last of the huts were in view as they approached the end of the dirt road. The others, who had been allowing them space to indulge in their most recent squabble, were waiting up ahead at the entrance to the forest. 

Without transportation, they decided it was faster simply to cut through the dense woods. And seeing as it was only mid-day, it was not an outrageously dangerous expedition. 

All members of the party were now armed, and not exactly novices at battling demons, should any attempt to impede on their progress. And after trudging through miles of dull farmlands, a change in scenery was not unappealing. 

The remainder of the town which rested on the other side was where they would conclude their investigation for the day. And seeing as they had been forced to vacate their previous host’s dwelling prematurely, they had hopes of locking down a warm place to sleep over there as well. 

“I could have handled it myself,” she insisted petulantly, causing him to cock an eyebrow at her. 

“Then why didn’t you?” It was actually something he very much wanted to know. Now it was she who refused to look his way. 

“I was working up to it. We need to network to get our information, and to network you need to be nice. You still have a lot to learn.” 

He curved his lips to frown. “I will never be nice.” 

“Well then, if you want to find Rin, you better settle for being quiet. Just let us take care of the talking from now on.” 

“At last. Something you excel at.” They finally caught up to her friends, who had graciously waited their arrival. But Kagome refused to let him have the last word. 

“That’s right. And it would help me a ton if you could keep your fists in your pockets until we get the information we need.” 

A large, fallen tree was blocking the path into the woods. Sango, who had been taking the lead, was preparing to scale over the downed, branchless trunk. But Miroku’s gentle hand on her shoulder gave her pause. 

He turned to his two bickering companions, and slid his easy, diplomatic smile into place. 

“Perhaps we should rest for a bit. Cool our tempers.” His suggestion finally earned their attention, as they turned from each other immediately. 

“ _No_!!” The monk flinched at the angry reply in unison. 

“We just got started,” Kagome reminded him. 

“Yes. To rest is to lose daylight. We continue,” Sesshoumaru agreed with her, perhaps for the first time that day. 

With a defeated sigh, he turned back to Sango who offered a passive shrug before resuming her previous attempt at getting over the tree. She easily scaled to the top, and reached to aid Miroku in doing the same. 

“Finally, you are using your head,” Kagome quipped, unwilling to leave the argument at that. She brushed ahead of Sesshoumaru, and reached up to grab Miroku’s outstretched hand. The Western Lord stood by patiently, leaning against the dead bark and watching her scramble to make her ascent. 

His position allowed for an unobscured view of her backside as she climbed atop the fallen tree. If she was aware that he now knew she’d chosen pink undergarments this day, she didn’t seem concerned about it. He considered giving her a push, to help her achieve her climb. But the thought came and went as she did not appear to be having any trouble without his assistance. 

Miroku jumped down to join Sango on the other side, and before Kagome could offer a hand to him, Sesshoumaru had already found his way on top to join her. 

“And what is it you use, miko, to get the attentions of every male in leering distance?” His tone was low, and dangerously close to her ear. The unexpected heat of his breath was not unpleasant, she decided. 

Before she could respond, he leapt down to join the others. But as the pair continued on ahead, Sesshoumaru waited to offer his hand. 

Kagome was neither surprised nor thankful of his assistance. She merely accepted his aid, grabbing on tightly while she jumped to the dirt floor below. 

When her balance was assured, he released his grip to allow her to gather her bearings. She pressed the wrinkles from her clothes, and they followed after her friends together. 

The couple ahead seemed to be keeping a knowing distance, however. 

“Was that another quip about my skirt? You need some new material.” 

He flashed his gaze down to said garment, and considered perhaps she was correct. His barbs regarding such did not seem to have the same effect they once did. Nonetheless... 

“Perhaps enough to fashion you a more decent covering? Not that it would take much.” 

He smirked when he noticed her eye twitch, and hands ball into fists at her side. Then again, maybe he could still get some mileage out of that thing. 

“Oooh! Sorry we can’t all have fancy pants... pants and... stuff.” But his victory was short-lived, as he was forced to stop and try to decode her bewildering statement. He could usually put her strange manner of speak into context, but this one left him reeling. Finally, he gave up. 

“What?” His brows knit together in unconcealed confusion. Not willing to explain herself, Kagome refused to even turn around as she kept pressing forward. 

“Never mind. Just, shut up. And stop looking at my legs.” 

She heard him scoff at the same time as she heard his footsteps pick back up behind her, somewhat faster than they had been before. 

“Gladly. I prefer to look at something less boring. I think I see a cow pasture in the distance that will suffice.” 

She looked about, but could not see the pasture he was referring to. All there was were trees. Trees in every direction. Most of them bereft of their branches, likely from the winter weather that had at least seemed to become less traumatic the further north they traveled. They hadn’t seen any snow in days. 

The lack of branches made the rows of trees look funny though, and something amusing occurred to her. She didn’t have to slow her paces long before he was back at her side. 

“You sure you wouldn’t prefer to stare at those bare trees over there? You notice how phallic shaped they are?” 

“I would not. And I do not,” he insisted, completely unamused. Her mocking smile only grew wider. 

“No?” she coaxed. “Nothing _exciting_ about that to you?” He refused to even spare a glance at her childish behavior. 

“I am afraid you are projecting, miko.” 

Kagome smiled and leaned in to tease. 

“Please. I’m not wanting for offers. In fact, that’s why we were fighting in the first place. You had to protect me from all the attention I get.” 

If possible, he became even less amused, and twisted his lips into a scowl to prove it. 

“I was not protecting you.” 

“Ah, so you _were_ jealous. You can have him, Sessh. Like I said, he wasn’t my type.” 

“Your idiocy never ceases to amaze.” She had been angling to agitate him, and it seemed like she was well on her way. Inwardly, Kagome preened. 

“To attack, or even address a member of my party is to be openly disrespectful to the Lord of the West. Even if I am a human, my honor will not be put into question.” 

She rolled her eyes dismissively at his haughty reasoning, but that only seemed to make him more upset. 

“By inviting such advances, it not only puts into question my ability to protect, but to rule as well. With each challenge you incite, you put my very lands at risk. Least of all you, and your foolish companions.” 

Despite the fact that she had stopped goading him, his ire appeared to be steadily increasing. Normally, she relished the ability to mount his frustrations, but it seemed she had hit a nerve. She just wondered what it was. 

“Your pathetic desire for attention places us all in danger. For once I am seen fit not to rule, a coup will not be long in coming.” 

Though typically very annoying, their banter usually resembled something akin to playful. But the sudden stern accusation in his tone was beginning to zap the fun out of her taunting. He always ruined everything, and she pouted in response. 

“Most people can’t even tell it's you,” she insisted defensively. “They don’t know what happened.” 

“Yet.” He stopped in his tracks, causing her to do the same. The shade of the forest chilled the air around them, and darkened the ambiance instantly. Sesshoumaru’s features also became shadowed, making him appear much more menacing than in the bright light of day only moments ago. 

“With each encounter, we create another story to be gossiped about. How long until a few astute individuals are able to put together what has occurred?” It was hard to meet his eyes as it began to sink in, and she hoped that he was just being dramatic. “You forget those tigers are already aware of my predicament. They have Rin as proof. And if Jaken is spotted, or captured without me, it will not be long before all are aware that the West is ripe for a challenge.” 

She folded her arms in front of her chest and tried not to react when he drew his face very near to hers, lowering his tone to a grave, threatening effect. “You may think This One is cruel, but just wait and see what demon takes my place. My indifference towards your kind will seem like a love affair in comparison to what they have in store for you.” 

By now, she was certain that his affinity for mankind was miles beyond indifferent, but decided it was not the time to make that point. Instead, she chose to mull what he was telling her. She was beginning to worry that he might have a point. 

“I didn’t think about that.” She lowered her arms slowly, letting guilt wash over her as he retreated her personal bubble and continued ahead without her. 

“No. You did not,” he announced imperiously. “That is your problem. You do not think. Not about anything important. All you think about is how presentable you look, and which males are looking. And how far do I need to bend to let him see my-” 

His steps barely faltered, but Kagome was too inwardly distracted to notice. He caught himself in time to redirect his thoughts and steer back to his original point. 

“All the while, your pathetic cries for attention do nothing except put us all in danger. I hope the simpleton who wins your virtue is worth the risk for you, because it certainly is not for me.” 

The perilous weight in his tone put a knot in her stomach. She hated how easily he could set her nerves on edge. He knew just how to make her feel about an inch tall, and at the same time shame her for shrinking. 

She stood there watching his retreating back as he followed off after her friends, and the forest felt a good fifteen degrees colder. She’d managed to disappoint him again, and that cut her just as badly as the possibility she’d endangered her friends. 

“I don’t do it for attention.” Sesshoumaru scoffed, but halted. He wasn’t aware until she’d spoken that she had not been following behind him. 

“The way I dress, and make myself up, I do it for me. Everyone around me is pairing up, and settling down. Even in my era, the girls make fun of me for never having a boyfriend. I mean, I have never even kissed anyone until...” 

His eyes widened a fraction, but luckily she hadn’t been able to see it. 

She’d never been kissed until him? He knew she was untouched, but... 

He couldn’t help but feel guilty. Their first kiss had been anything but gentle. It was a power move. And what it almost resulted in... She deserved better than that. He should have known. She was so terribly young. 

He was actually glad she had refused him back at the mansion. She should find some kind mortal who could handle her gently. Even if he would no doubt be some unworthy fool. 

“My duties made me put my life on hold, and I gladly did it. Because the fate of the world was more important than my happiness.” He noted the somber turn her mood was taking, and was regretting accusing her so harshly. But he still refused to turn, opting to remain still while he heard her approach him once again. 

“I miss out on a lot doing all this stuff. Between fighting evil and saving the day, there isn’t any time for myself. That’s why I appreciate the little things: hot springs, sunsets, make up...” 

He was certainly aware of her affinity for hot springs. Even in the worst of times, access to one was all it took to make her whole week. 

He supposed he couldn’t fault her for that. As frivolous as those things were, they were small considerations to ask for. The miko seemed to live her life for others. But that’s what mikos are supposed to do, isn’t it? If she didn’t want to live a selfless life, then why did she choose it for herself? 

Then he remembered, that she didn’t. She was chosen. Burden of duty was one thing the Western Lord could appreciate. 

“I dress like this because I like it. It makes me feel good, just a little, to look nice once in a while.” 

And now he was trying to take that from her. Why? What did it truly matter what this woman did? 

“I’m not trying to get any attention. I get enough of that on my own. But when no one loves you, when you don’t have anyone to share your life with, it's nice to hear it from strangers sometimes.” 

He couldn’t help but suspect that last bit was aimed at him, even if she hadn’t meant it to be. 

And while it had not been her intention, she couldn’t deny that the sudden surge in appreciation had been flattering. With all the rejection she had endured recently, it was a bit of an ego boost to actually feel desirable. 

“And it's nice to be appreciated, even if it borders on inappropriate. I don’t have anyone to tell me I look nice. I guess I needed to hear it.” 

But she decided that wasn’t a good enough excuse. If it was as he said, and she was giving him too much exposure, then it really wasn’t worth it. 

Was she really so hard up for affection? How pathetic. 

She looked intensely apologetic all of a sudden, but he found it did not suit her. 

So what had he intended? 

“I never meant to put us in danger. I guess that I was taking for granted all you and Inuyasha and everyone does to keep me safe.” Then, she forced a smile. He hated that fake contentment even more than her sadness. She was lying again, and doing a terrible job of it. 

But he wasn’t angry at her for it. She was just trying to appease him. Trying to allay their concerns. 

Still, he would much rather that she didn’t. He didn’t want her to have to. 

Annoying guilt was gnawing at him, telling him it was his fault. Telling him that he should have been the one to ensure she was aware of her importance. That she was worthy of admiration. 

Worse yet, he was certain that he had. Had he lacked in that regard? The strangeness of human etiquette continued to confound him. 

“So thank you. And I will try to blend in a little better from now on. Okay?” 

His dismissive scoff was not what she had been expecting. She thought he wanted her compliance. 

“Miko, you could not blend in if your life depended on it. And it very well might.” She deflated, but continued to gaze helplessly into his admonishing eyes. 

“But it is not necessary. I am more than capable of defending your virtue. And your friends would clearly lay down their lives for yours.” 

She looked ahead to see that the friends in question were nearly out of sight, and frowned. 

“But they shouldn’t.” 

“Perhaps not,” he agreed. “But if the price of their safety is their miko’s contentment, then I’d imagine the cost is too great.” 

Well, it was hardly a fair trade as far as she could see. She vowed to take more care when it came to the protection of her friends. It was one thing if she wanted to throw herself into danger for her petty indulgences, but the others shouldn’t have to pay for her mistakes. 

Still, it was a very sweet notion. 

Sesshoumaru followed her gaze up ahead to her packmates, and decided that as far as comrades went, she certainly could have done a lot worse. Loyalty was a rare trait even among demons, but these humans had it in spades. Their fidelity to this young woman was beyond satisfactory. 

“It is not my intention to alter my behavior to appease anyone. I would have my pack follow the same mantra.” 

She looked up to see him still staring off in the distance. 

“But-” 

“Do as you wish, miko. And I shall take care of the rest. With all you have given up for this world, surely you deserve your scrap of happiness.” He returned his gaze to hers again, but it only lingered there a moment before traveling south, and resting upon her green skirt. “If it takes the form of that scrap of clothing, so be it.” 

He began to march forward before his thoughts strayed far enough to recall flashes of pink... for any longer. But a few paces out he stopped again, and threw his head over his shoulder to the troubled young woman lingering behind. 

“Do not change yourself just because of what one fool says. If anyone has a problem, that’s exactly what it is: their problem. And if they harass you about it, they will have another problem. Understood?” 

He had vowed to protect the miko, and he would continue to do so. But it appeared he must include himself as a possible danger to her. Neglecting to acknowledge her attributes seemed to cause just as much detriment as pointing out her shortcomings, and those were both crimes he was certainly guilty of. It was an unpleasant thought to consider as he resumed walking. It was not long before she had jogged to his side. 

“So, I’m really not causing you too much trouble?” she asked hopefully. He regarded her again as they walked in step. 

She seemed eager to please. But more than that, she seemed desperate to confirm that she hadn’t caused any harm. To her, that would be her greatest sin. Funny, as at times it seemed all that he was created for. 

“The only trouble I find with your clothing is keeping my eyes in a more appropriate location.” He paused, and indulged in another glance for good measure. “And the unfamiliar feelings they arouse within me. If you are comfortable with that knowledge then by all means, continue.” 

If she was so desirous of male attention, he was more than happy to give it to her. He had simply assumed such comments were not appreciated; her reaction to the monk’s various attempts certainly didn’t seem favorable. Then again, that man tended to take things to the extreme. 

“I knew you were looking!” she announced, and out of reflex, he snapped his gaze forward again. But the smile on her face told him she wasn’t terribly upset about it. “And you know what? I don’t think I care. Look all you want.” 

She confirmed his suspicions as she preened, and he decided that perhaps her ego was something that needed to be tempered after all, not fed. 

Or maybe having permission took some of the fun out of it. Either way, he removed his gaze from her entirely. 

“Don’t flatter yourself. I only prefer the shape of your legs to the dirt farms we pass,” he looked about the forest, “or the phallic shaped greenery.” 

“Whatever you say.” 

Her large smile was telling, and for the first time since departing the last village, she looked genuinely pleased. As much as he enjoyed spinning her up with his taunting – and he still maintained that she enjoyed it too – seeing her actually happy was very much preferred. 

“Kagome.” The rare use of her name earned her complete and instant attention. She turned to see him looking intently at her. She couldn’t explain it, but something in his eyes made his entire face soften; even though he hadn’t moved a muscle. And suddenly, the forest didn’t seem so cold and dark anymore. 

“I may find your strange clothing inappropriate for travel. It does not mean I find you unappealing.” But she already knew that. Just because he never said anything, she knew. Though it was nice to hear him say it. With a thankful smile, she returned her gaze forward. So did he. 

“But you are not all together unappealing without it. Just know, it is not required.” 

That did her in. She couldn’t remove her dopey grin if she tried. 

But after running the line through her head a few times, she stopped herself cold. 

“Wait.” At her insistence, he stopped as well, and threw an inquisitive look over his shoulder. “Are you saying I’d look good in anything? Or wearing nothing?” 

This time his long, assessing look caused her cheeks to heat. Then he smirked at her. 

“Yes.” 

* * *

With a curse, Kagome slumped her shoulders and made her way silently over to the barren tree. 

She wanted to stomp over angrily, and let out just a fraction of the tension that had been building within her for the last hour. The whole day. The whole fucking fortnight. 

But that would be counterproductive. She needed to keep her composure for now; her pride was on the line. 

Maybe she shouldn’t have volunteered. Out of the group she wasn’t hailed as the best hunter. But that’s why she did it. 

She had the bow. She’d caught an animal before. Though usually, when taking her shot, it was at a rabid demon hurdling itself towards her. Not the other way around. 

Without demon speed or stealth, patience and perception were her only allies. When she’d spotted the deer within the first five minutes, she’d thought she had gotten a lucky break. She was wrong. 

That damn deer was so easily spooked. Just the sound of her reaching into her quiver was enough to send it running. She kept her arrow in her hand after that. 

But it wasn’t her only opportunity. For as scared as the deer was, it did not see fit to run far. Three times Kagome had a chance at a shot at it, and three times she had missed. A moving target is much harder than a stationary one. 

With a scowl, she wrapped her callused hand around the shaft and yanked her arrow free from the naked tree she had put it in. 

If only there was another animal around. Something slower, with less self-preservation. But this forest was practically barren. The next critter she came across was going to be sacrificed for her pack. But since she’d only seen that deer, she scanned for her again. 

And she would have to find her soon. The forest was dark enough in the daylight. But with the sun almost ready to retire for the evening, this was going to literally be her last shot at winning a meal for the campers. 

They could make due. If she failed in her mission, she still had plenty of rations in her backpack. But they still had a ways to go before reaching the compound, and it would be best to save them for when needed. 

And also, her pride was at stake. She promised she could hunt something. 

A rustle of tan in her periphery alerted her of her little’s friends' whereabouts, and she stilled. Turning her head, she hardly dared to breathe as she observed the gentle doe taking a drink from the stream. Probably one last refreshing sip before scurrying off to bed. 

It was just a bit out of her range, and she realized she would need to move closer to hit it. So never removing her eyes from her target, she slowly moved forward. 

Each step was torture. Each sound of twigs snapping beneath her sneakers was the sound of certain loss. But so far, the deer hadn’t noticed. 

Just a couple more steps should get her in range. Preparing for the moment she reached it, she brought the arrow to her bowstring. Nocking it low, below the bush line, she readied her aim. She nearly faltered when the deer snapped her head to the side, as if it heard something. She was sure it would flee, and Kagome froze. Stick still. 

But after a suspicious glance, the deer bent her head to resume slaking her thirst. Kagome prepared to take her final step. Arrow still nocked from before, she aimed, and lifted her foot. 

And before she knew it, she was on her back. She screamed when a hard body careened into hers. Wrapping his arms around her middle, he tackled her just in time to send her arrow sailing into a high arc somewhere into the thicket. 

She managed to avoid landing on her quiver, but her bow had been knocked from her hands. Now, she lay sprawled on the dirt, with a deceptively heavy man trapping her beneath his weight. 

“Dammit Sesshoumaru! You just cost us our meal!” 

She had no idea what kind of games he was playing, but she was beyond pissed. She pushed him harshly at both his shoulders, prompting him to gently unwrap his arms and release her from his hold. She wiggled to escape him, but he only moved just enough to let her sit up, and no further. 

“Let me up! What the hell were you thinking?!” Her breathing became heavier in her rage. Exhaustion was beginning to claim her after a frustrating hunt, and her eyes looked black the way her pupils had dilated. 

Still trapped beneath his thighs, he propped himself up with a hand on each side of her, and held her gaze meaningfully, in that passive way he does. 

“That you may not appreciate becoming ensnared.” 

She was ready to explode. She was in no mood for his riddles. But before she opened her mouth to ask what the hell he was talking about, he pointedly turned his head to the side. She followed his gaze. 

There, not a foot away, lay a fairly large, very sharp, and absolutely activated animal trap; poised and ready to tear through the first thing that breached it. And if Sesshoumaru hadn’t dove when he did, that thing would have been her. 

It was a nasty one too. It might have taken her leg clear off below the knee. She turned her frazzled, slightly horrified frame back to him, and let her wide eyes take in stoic features. Still stoic, even while lying in the dirt after rescuing her from a possible amputee situation. 

He said nothing, probably waiting for her to calm down enough to thank him. And that’s what she did. 

Nearly in tears from the stress, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and squeezed him as tightly as she could to her chest. 

He didn’t move. His hands were still supporting him in the dirt, but she wasn’t certain he would have returned the gesture if they weren’t. Still, he didn’t rebuff her. Didn’t scold her for her audacity or make an attempt to escape. He just sat there, saying nothing, until she felt her hug was sufficient. 

When her trembling subsided she pulled back, a slight blush on her face; both from their proximity, and the foolishness of that very literal misstep. 

“Where the hell did that come from?” she asked him, looking cautiously at the trap again. His focus remained on her as she marveled over the sharp, gnarly blades. 

“Hunters. The Northern wild is littered with them. You must take more care.” 

He was trying to sound reprimanding, but his concern was more than clear to her. 

“Would have been something good to tell me earlier.” She waited for him to tell her that it was up to her to be more observant. That it was not his job to babysit her at every turn. 

“An oversight. It will not be repeated.” Instead, he simply assured her. It almost sounded apologetic. 

But she was in no mood to chastise him. Not anymore. With a thankful smile and a slight nod, she shifted to rise, and he got off of her. Before she could join him, he reached for her with both hands, and pulled her to her feet by her arm. 

She brushed the dirt off herself, and he did the same. He was tempted to aid her, but opted instead for gathering the scattered arrows that spilled from her quiver during his dive attack. She lifted the quiver, and followed after as he collected them up for her, and replaced them. 

Last, he retrieved her bow for her. She reached out to grasp it, and they shared another meaningful glance. Hers filled with gratitude, and his with cautious relief. He relayed his concern as he delayed letting go for some reason. Just long enough to let her see. They both seemed still somewhat shaken by the experience. 

“That’s all of them.” 

“Except the one in the brush,” he reminded her. But she hadn’t forgotten. She thought she saw where it ended up. 

“Yeah. I better go find it. Can’t spare a single one.” 

“I will assist you.” She offered no argument as he fell in step beside her. They made their way across the forest, slipping past bushes and dodging trees to get where they needed to be. 

“So what, were you following me?” she asked, checking each bush as they closed in on their destination. He was searching as well. 

“You had been gone some time.” He’d actually been following her for a good ten minutes before making himself known. He saw the fierce determination she displayed, and he was certain she was going to claim her prey. He very much wanted to bear witness to her successful kill. 

So engrossed in her hunt he was, that he himself actually hadn’t noticed the trap until it was almost too late. If he had been just a moment later... 

“Stupid deer keeps giving me the slip. Sorry, I guess it’s granola for dinner tonight.” She was on her knees now, perusing a cluster of bushes. He bent low a few feet away to search through another set. 

“There is still time.” The sun was still out. And she was so close. He wanted this for her, but the miko sounded thoroughly defeated. 

“No, it's over. I give up. She’s earned her life.” 

With a pleased exclamation, she located her spent arrow and held it in the air as proof. She put it in her quiver, ready to call it a day. But Sesshoumaru was obviously scanning about for her deer. Making a decision, he took off in the opposite direction of the camp. She had no choice but to follow. 

“I told you, I can’t do it,” she mumbled at his back. But he kept moving to take them deeper into the woods. 

“Clearly. But _we_ can.” 

“You’re gonna help me?” she asked, but she didn’t really know what he could do. He no longer had his demon senses. Still, after a lifetime of hunting, he must have a few tricks up his sleeve. 

They traveled on together in silence for several minutes. He took her this way and that, abruptly changing directions often and seemingly arbitrarily. But she trusted he knew what he was doing. She couldn’t tell what he was looking for to lead him, but he moved with rapt purpose. 

She hadn’t much hope for their success. But even if by some miracle they got lucky, she was still a bit disappointed that she hadn’t been able to bag the kill herself. 

“Two on one, isn’t that a little unfair?” she finally prompted, more bored than anything else now. 

He turned back to her, and spoke softly so as not to blow their cover. 

“Not at all. She has the advantage.” 

“You mean home field?” she asked in earnest. He, as he so often was, found himself confounded by her question. But he contextualized in an attempt to keep up with her. He shook his head. 

“No. Animals are superior to humans.” 

He found himself confused again by the way she seemed to become irritated, and smirked despite himself. He hadn’t been trying to offend her. Sometimes it actually was accidental. 

“At least when it comes to using their senses for survival. I may not hear, but I know what she hears. I may not scent, but I know what she scents.” 

His days as a dog demon gave him an upper hand. And he had to admit, it was enjoyable attempting to tap into that part of himself again. As the days wore on, he was finding he had to work harder to remember. 

“So, while we’re out here, anymore killer booby traps I need to look out for?” The near miss left her understandably shaken, and wary of traipsing blindly through this forest. She was constantly watching her feet, and worried about getting back before it became too dark to see them. 

“Hunters in these lands use a wide array of game traps. You simply must stay aware of your surroundings at all times.” 

That was a tall order. Even the most diligent human could not be aware of everything going on around them all the time. 

“That's pretty vague, and impossible. How about an example?” 

They took another turn now, and came upon another part of the creek. She wondered if he was following the water in hopes of finding their woodland friend. 

“The trap you encountered was among the most vicious. They are laid about throughout the forests and mountains mostly. You may encounter a net, or cages.” 

“Cages?” she asked dubiously. “For what?” 

He shrugged. 

“It depends entirely on the game they wish to hunt. Different species require different methods. Neither would be particularly harmful for a man, simply inconvenient.” 

That didn’t sound so bad. Though now she was paranoid about the possibility of getting tangled up in some ridiculous web. 

“However, you must watch out for holes.” 

Her brow furrowed. 

“Holes?” 

“Yes. Deep pits dug into the ground. Hunters cover the tops with a deceptive flooring, and you will fall to the bottom. It’s nothing you couldn’t climb out from, but you could very well break your leg in the process.” 

Well that sounded lovely. Still, she would rather that than get caught up in a bear trap. 

“What kind of animal do you catch with holes?” she couldn’t help but wonder. 

“All animals are susceptible to holes; some simply have more difficulty escaping. The hunters in these lands are not particularly talented. They are successful because they cast a wide net.” 

Her brow furrowed once more. 

“Wide net?” 

His firm grip on her wrist prompted her to ask what was wrong, but the stern look he gave her was more than clear; do not make a sound. 

His eyes wide with purpose was an entrancing sight to behold. Deep pools of liquid violet drew her in, and she was tempted to stay. But when his pupils slid meaningfully to his left, she slowly turned her head. Their little deer had returned to nibble at a bush before the sun finally went down. 

The deer was close; in range. When he slowly released her wrist, she knew what to do. 

He didn’t need words. He rarely did, and maybe that was how she’d gotten so good at communicating with him non verbally. But he told her with his eyes what to do. When to move, how to stand, and where to shoot. 

She followed all of his commands. She didn’t really need them; she knew what she was doing. But it was just so gratifying to have that connection. In that moment, they knew each other completely. 

This time when she shot the deer, she hit it. But not where she meant to. 

A pained, terrible yell tore through the forest when her arrow pierced through the poor thing’s neck instead of between her eyes. She was still yelling, screaming her anguish, but she was down. 

Kagome froze, mortified. She didn’t want to hurt it. She didn’t even want to kill it, really. But her friends needed to eat, so it needed to die. But she didn’t need to suffer. Her poor aim caused the beautiful, innocent creature pain. 

She remained frozen as Sesshoumaru closed the distance in a flash – impressively fast for a mortal – and knelt beside the thrashing animal. She saw him pull his large knife from his waist, and just like that, the screaming stopped. 

She didn’t want to watch, but she felt required to face what she had done head on. She had taken its life; she refused to close her eyes and turn her head now. 

Kagome crossed the distance to join Sesshoumaru at the dead deer’s side. With a firm rip, he pulled the arrow she’d shot from the neck it was still nestled in, and handed it to her. He spared her a glance, but her eyes were still zeroed in on that throat. On the holes her arrow made, and the large gash Sesshoumaru had. 

Knife still in hand, he was looking over the fallen beast. Studying it. She knew what he was thinking even now. 

It was too large to drag back to camp. Not to mention, the four of them were not going to eat that whole doe. Kagome felt a twinge of regret in that, because if you are going to kill an innocent to sustain you, she believed you should honor the sacrifice by making use of it all. But scavengers would come in the night and finish off whatever they didn’t take, she was sure. And they would do well to not have an easy meal sitting so close to where they slept, lest they wish to join her. 

No, they were just going to have to cut out the best parts, and leave the rest. 

Sesshoumaru prepared to gut the poor thing, but Kagome’s hand on his shoulder stopped him before the sharp blade made contact. He turned to her, thinking she might have a foolish objection last minute, but she'd surprised him. 

“Take off your shirt.” 

He just stared at her. It was an odd time for such a request. Perhaps something in the hunt awakened things in the little miko that he’d thought were specific to demon bitches. 

“We need it to carry the meat back. I- I didn’t bring anything else.” 

She was right. As much as he would have enjoyed it, he couldn’t expect her to shed any clothing for the task. And the haori he was currently wearing was not his own. It was a simple replacement he’d gotten in the last village, in an attempt to better conceal his identity. Wearing the crest of his house was not the sneakiest way to get him through the country. Besides, it didn’t hurt to have an extra pair of clothes. Though this one looked like it was already being sacrificed. Oh well, he didn’t particularly like it anyhow. 

She watched him set his blade down to remove his clothing, and tried not to enjoy it too much. He tried not to look over to see if she was watching, but just for a second they were both failures. 

He spread it out and lay it on the ground beside him, and gathered his knife back up. 

He’d once told her he was excellent with any blade, and she was more than inclined to believe him. In no time, the belly was sliced up perfectly to gain access to the organs within. If he didn’t remove his shirt, it would have been ruined with blood anyhow. His cuts may be clean, but that doe’s gut sure wasn’t. In that moment, he was actually thankful to not possess his keen sense of smell. But he was missing another of his senses. 

His eyes instantly drew to the heart. Centuries of hunting and killing and slicing made his training and experience difficult to forget. He remembered being a pup, how his father had taught him his most basic skills. 

Of course, the beasts they slayed were of the demon variety. Much larger and more challenging, but each one had a heart. 

_‘Do you feel it, son?’_ Inu no Taisho asked Sesshoumaru as he sliced into his first kill. A boar demon. The kill was perfect. His execution was flawless. It had not been a challenge at all. 

_‘Do you mean the hunger, father?’_

He never yet cut open a living being, never seen its insides. Didn’t know what was what, or where it went. But the instant he’d killed that boar, an intense pull guided him deep into its chest. Made him crave what was inside. 

_‘Your instincts are excellent,_ _Sesshoumaru_ _. Follow them. Make me proud.’_

He already had. His father had given him tips and pointers along the way. But everything Sesshoumaru had done on his first hunt had been what his instincts guided him to do. He was so very strong. A natural killer. 

As if mesmerized, he turned back to his fresh kill. Slipped small clawed hands deep into the chest of his prey, covering himself up to his stripes in its blood. When he pulled back, he held the heart of his victim. 

Holding it in both hands, the hunger persisted. Insisted. Increased. His youthful tongue came out to wet his eager lips. But first, he cut a glance to the Western Lord. Cautious, but intent. 

With a wicked smile, his father nodded once. 

Permission to follow his own heart had him feasting on that of another. Young fangs made quick work of the organ, and the strength of his enemy was now his own. Not that there was much of it within that low-level boar. But with time, his strength would grow, and so would that of his adversaries. 

He’d never forget that powerful drive to feast on the heart of those he had conquered. He would not always obey it. As he aged, he found little need. But the lust was always there. 

Now, crouching over this simple deer, he held its recently beating heart in his two large human hands... and felt nothing. 

In fact, the idea of eating that thing was starting to turn his stomach. Had he been brought so low? Was he so weak, he could not handle the power of this brainless deer? 

Had his instincts left him completely? 

“Sesshoumaru?” 

He turned to her, saw the questions in her eyes. She must have seen the trepidation in his. 

Saying nothing, he placed the heart down onto his shirt, and felt an immense sense of loss. She must have seen that too. 

“You know, I think I am doomed to scrub blood out of your clothes for all eternity.” 

He looked to her, and saw the awkward, yet genuine smile made just for him, and he couldn’t help it. He smiled back. He didn’t know why. It seemed his instincts were still there; they had just taken another form. Just like him. 

Shaking his head, he turned back to his deer, and removed the next piece. 

* * *

They got back to camp just after dark. Their failure to secure shelter in town had them sleeping outside for the first time in weeks. But spirits were high; they’d had a good run. Hopefully, the Western Lord will learn to keep his hair trigger fists better in check, but they weren’t holding their breath. 

All the best parts of the deer were salvaged, and Sesshoumaru dropped the bundle beside the roaring fire that had been started in his absence. 

“Success!” Miroku praised, and began looking through the pile. “Excellent work, Kagome-sama.” 

“Thank Sesshoumaru. He’s the one who killed her.” Sesshoumaru shook his head. 

“I merely ended her suffering. The miko captured her.” She knew he was trying to share the praise, but it just reminded her of how she missed her shot and tortured the poor thing. 

“Well, congratulations all around. I am thankful for your prowess. In return, allow me to prepare the feast for us.” 

“I’ll help,” said Sango. She took a minute to admire Sesshoumaru. He looked terrifying; shirtless and covered in blood. But damned if it wasn’t doing it for her. She wished his brother was back already. 

Kagome didn’t come away unscathed either. From handling the organs, she was up to her elbows in deer blood. The smell was starting to get to her. 

“Why don’t you two go to the creek and wash up before dinner.” Miroku was already preparing the meat to be cooked on the fire. 

“Good idea. I’ll get a towel.” 

When they made it there, Kagome crouched down and began scrubbing the blood off her arms. The water was cold, but clear, and it felt good to be clean. She would save her bath for when they weren’t sleeping outside. Sesshoumaru opted not to be so picky. 

It made sense. He was absolutely covered. And then, he decidedly wasn’t. 

Kagome didn’t even hear him undressing behind her. But when he walked out into the stream, his bare ass and back crossed into her line of sight. His short hair made everything much more accessible to her eyes than he normally would have been. She took the opportunity to admire the toned thighs and calves before he fully submerged himself. 

Shaking herself sober, she got up to make sure she was absolutely not looking by the time his head breached the surface. Shaking his hair free of moisture and treading water up to his neck, he looked about as happy as she had ever seen him. She forgot he was more of an outdoors kind of guy. She lightly dried her hands on the folded towel, and left it by his discarded hakama. 

“You did well, miko.” His unexpected address stopped her from making a clean exit. She turned around stiffly, with a smile to match. 

“Couldn’t have done it without you.” But the sight of him, covered to the neck and actually grinning wide eased her tension considerably. The light from the moon brightened up the entire bank, and she found herself drawn to its reflection. She braved a few steps closer. 

“Thanks again. For saving me. I can’t believe I was so careless.” 

He didn’t have his demon sight, but her fair features under the moonlight were magnetizing. He couldn’t help but soak her in as he let the stream rush around his body. But it didn’t take long to recall an unpleasant memory from earlier that evening, and he sobered. 

“Hn. You must take better care. I will not always be there.” 

It was a harsh reminder, and enough to pull her from her trance. It was a somber thought to accept he would not always be around to help them, but the underlying message was even more painful. 

He did not want to stay with her, and he wouldn’t. The implication left her bitter and burning. 

“Regardless of my preferences.” 

He must have seen her expression sour, and lament. But his amendment pulled her back in, back to him with crashing force. 

Did he mean it? Did he wish to stay? 

Perhaps he did. Maybe his duties were what was holding him back, not his distaste of her, and her kind. It made it better somehow. She could appreciate having duties after all. Ones you can never be free of. 

It gave her solace, and she managed to smile coyly at him. 

“I guess even the Lord of the West doesn’t get everything he wants. Maybe you are just like the rest of us.” 

The smile he returned was soft, and contemplative. And his gaze was very warm. 

“Perhaps in some things.” His gaze suddenly went from warm to heated, and the intensity of it had her blushing. The moon above him seemed to make him glow, like some sort of fallen angel. But angels don’t look at you like that. 

“Are you certain you do not wish to bathe? You walked a very long way, followed by a relentless hunt.” His question appeared genuine, but she thought she detected the barest hints of a taunt in there. Maybe she was imagining it. Maybe by now, she assumed he was always taunting her. 

It was possible he only wanted plausible deniability. 

And it was tempting. It certainly was. But she'd already decided, and she was going with her first instinct on this one. 

“No thanks. That water looks cold.” 

The heat returned to his gaze again, and it filled her with a troubling mix of anticipation and dread. 

“You wouldn’t know it.” 

Her mind went blank while she froze for a second. She thought she knew what he was implying. Did he? Damn him and his plausible deniability. 

She didn’t remember him being so vague in the past. When he wanted something, he made it known. That, or he simply took it. Was being human exposing him to the vulnerability of rejection? 

Maybe he just didn’t care before. Does that mean he did now? 

“Nah, I-I'm starved,” she somehow managed. She hated herself a little bit. Him too. “So don’t take too long. We won’t start without you.” 

And just like that, the heat was gone. He was still smiling when he closed his eyes and rested on his back, doing his best not to be taken away downstream. 

“Start without me. There is plenty to spare.” 

And then it was easy again. She was thankful for that. And a bit disappointed. 

“But you killed it. And the alpha is supposed to eat first.” 

Sure, he wasn’t their alpha, but let’s be real. He was every bit an alpha, and surely considered himself such, regardless of his recent concessions. If he were still demon and deigned to combine with his brother’s pack, it would for sure be him. 

And Inuyasha wasn’t here tonight. She had no problem regarding him that way. It felt natural. 

“Then I suggest you hurry. Your friends look famished.” 

She could only look on, dumbfounded. Who was this man? 

Yes, he’d acknowledged her supposed high rank in this pack before. The place she seemed to have within it, at even Inuyasha’s behest. But they weren’t even technically a real pack. More like a found family with good instincts. They all played along, and it seemed to work out pretty well for them. 

But she had a feeling all that stuff meant a lot more to him than it did to any of them. Sometimes, it almost just felt like Inuyasha trying to fit in. 

She saw him crack an eye at her still standing there, and in the moon’s reflection, it looked like his eyes were gold again. Just for a second. 

“I shall be along shortly,” he assured her, and resumed his floating. 

She took the hint. She took a moment to burn him into her memory just like that, and headed back to camp. 

* * *

Sesshoumaru finally arrived, squeaky clean and ready to feast. He was drying his short black hair with the towel she had left him, and the cool winter air had his flesh flush with goosebumps. The muscles beneath his skin, which seemed to pull tightly over each firm slab, looked especially rigid; though the man himself appeared more relaxed than the group as a whole had ever observed. Miroku waged he could get away with some light teasing. 

“You’re gonna put an eye out with those glass cutters, my friend. You best cover yourself.” 

Sango shot the monk a dirty look. And though too proud to voice it, Kagome was inclined to agree with her. Nonetheless, she rose, and dug his trusty hoodie sweatshirt out from their luggage. 

He looked like a regular college kid, out on a camping trip with his friends. For just a moment, Kagome liked to pretend it was so. 

The others had already begun to dig in, but Kagome was true to her word and had waited for him to emerge. He seemed to notice this, and gave her an admonishing raise of his brow. She only smiled in reply, and reached for the coveted piece she had to offer him. 

She remembered watching a documentary on National Geographic about a man who raised a pack of wolf cubs. Their parents had died in their infancy, so he took it upon himself – with all of his experienced knowledge on the subject – to teach them how to grow up in a pack like normal wolves. The man was the alpha to the little wolf puppies, until they grew large enough to edge him so far down the pack hierarchy that it was too dangerous for him to remain with them. 

But she remembered one part very clearly. When teaching the wolves how to eat in a pack, he ate first, taking the heart and the liver of his kill for himself. They had the most nutrition, so they were his right. The lower wolves got to fight over the rest. Unbeknownst to them, the kill he dragged in beforehand already had the heart and liver removed for him to cook, and place back inside the dead beast. He would then remove the organs in front of them, to show them how a pack divides the meal after a kill. 

She knew Sesshoumaru wasn’t a wolf, but she reckoned there was some truth to his distant cousin’s bestial nature, and certainly of pack dynamics. With all he’d done for her today, she wanted to do something nice for him. He probably needed reminders of his heritage now more than ever. And the way he’d immediately gone to remove the deer’s heart first had not gone unnoticed. 

The heart was fully cooked. She couldn’t say whether to perfection, because she had no idea how to eat a heart. It was probably fairly tough as it was, so she assumed less was more. So long as it didn’t get him sick. Swallowing her nerves, and high on anticipation, she extended her hand to the man sitting beside her. 

He didn’t seem to register the gesture at first, but Sesshoumaru was quick on the uptake. That’s what caused a jolt of fear to shoot through Kagome when he made no move to accept it; he simply stared at it. 

He didn’t seem surprised or offended. Or grateful, for that matter. It was always so hard to tell with him, but if she had to venture, she would go with thoughtful. He was studying the organ in her hand so intently, he looked as if he’d completely zoned out. This worried her. 

Her biggest fear was that she had done something wrong. The last thing she wanted was to upset him. 

He’d already refused her heart once. Would he refuse this one as well? 

Finally he turned to her, still giving nothing away as she held out her gift with mounting desperation. 

“Your alpha left you in command, and the catch was yours. The right belongs to you.” 

She smiled. It was a sweet gesture, but not an incredibly tempting one. Even cooked, she had no desire to eat a heart. 

“Actually, I’m more of a liver kind of gal.” 

He lifted his brow at the odd woman beside him. 

“You ended her suffering. Her heart belongs to you.” 

He was looking at her again, in that cursed, assessing way. He always seemed to be paying such close attention that she couldn’t help but squirm. She did her best to keep it together, though he likely noticed her discomfort. Finally, he smirked. It was something, and she could breathe again. 

“You are a strange human.” 

Ah, just like old times. Except that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

He removed the heart from her hands, and the weights and knots in her with it. 

“Likewise.” 

Then she picked up her roasted deer liver, and decided the effort made it all the more satisfying. She vowed to hunt her own food more often... at least once in a while. 

And Sesshoumaru tore into his heart with as much poise as he could muster. It was decidedly more difficult without his razor-sharp fangs. But he was relieved to find he still enjoyed the taste. 

* * *

It wasn’t much later than that when Inuyasha returned. He’d interrupted Miorku’s story time and the monk nearly jumped out of his skin. That got the biggest laugh of the night, and even Sesshoumaru got caught flashing his teeth at the perfectly timed surprise entrance. 

The hanyou was quick to accept the surplus venison. His half-brother seemed to enjoy him eating their scraps, and made more than one snarky comment regarding it. Inuyasha responded just as eloquently as usual. 

The fire was still blazing; the others had collected more than enough wood while Kagome was hunting down dinner. And the moon was so low and so light that each pack member could easily make out the others, regardless of their species. 

“So this was a bust. We ain’t seen trace of those assholes yet.” Inuyasha finished the roasted meat in his hand and wiped the excess off on his robe. 

“It is as expected. Our target is their compound up north, we are simply being thorough. It is just as valuable to know where your enemy is not.” 

They’d been over the travel plan ad nauseum. But now that they were getting closer, it was time to start going over the specifics. The others listened, but remained silent as they let the half-brothers hash things out. 

“Kay, so how much farther to the compound already? Are we close?” 

“Indeed. We shall reach the Northern border in two days time, barring no unfortunate mishaps or additional information come to light. From there, the journey becomes more difficult.” 

“Because of the cats?” Inuyasha asked. He knew they were looking for tigers, of course. But his brother had told him there would be more than just them to contend with up there. 

“Precisely. The Northern Lands are ruled by the panther tribe, however all of the big cat houses lay claim to a respective province.” 

Though completely separate tribes, all of the cats were distant, distant cousins of one another. Like the wolves and dogs were, though the felines had a bit more solidarity. 

“They get along?” he asked. Sesshoumaru shook his head. 

“They are constantly at odds. But they stick with their own against any outside threat. I have dealt with the Northern Lord for centuries, but it is uncertain whether he would assist in bringing his cousins to justice.” 

The North and the West were technically allies, but not chummy by any terms. After their last battle, a truce had been called. A live and let live deal, basically. So long as they stayed out of each other's way, there was no need for conflict. And though the tigers violated that agreement, they were not the official ruling house. Sesshoumaru could force justice to be served, were he demon. But now, his position was precarious and uncertain. He was going to have to tread lightly. 

“Well, maybe we should ask him. Don’t you think we should hit up your buddy before crashing this tiger compound?” 

“The risk is too great. He could just as well tip off his kinsmen and our chance will be lost. No, we must go for the tigers ourselves.” 

Not to mention, there was chance once the Northern Lord learned he was human, he would make a play for his lands. 

“Alright. So two days ‘til panther country, then what?” 

“We travel up to the Northern Mountains; that is where things will become challenging. The pumas control the mountains, and they are a bloodthirsty and... exclusionary brood. They fight very hard to keep the mountains for themselves, and even go to great lengths to ward off neighboring kinsmen to keep them under their rule. They are even less welcoming of other species.” 

Inuyasha gave an exasperated sigh, but he was resigned. They were committed to this plan; he was just going to have to work with what he was given. He was pretty good at that. 

“Great. Anything else?” 

Inuyasha felt a sense of dread when he saw his brother’s slight grimace. 

“The Northern Mountains are treacherous for humans to navigate. As such, there are none who reside there. However, if spotted with your fire cat, they will assume some sort of invasion, and swiftly take us down.” 

“Keh, whatever. I’ll just use Tetsusaiga if they even try it,” he boasted dismissively. 

“Do you not think if it were possible, that father would have claimed the North for himself long ago?” The logic deflated the hanyou somewhat. “Your sword is formidable, but it can only take down one hundred demons at a time. They have thousands, and an army even superior to This Sesshoumaru’s.” The others gawked wide-eyed at his concession. Noting this, Sesshoumaru made an amendment. “In size, of course. My soldiers can best them any day on skill alone. But those foolish cats multiply so often you would think they were rabbits.” 

Cats outnumbered dog demons exponentially. Inuyoukai numbers had actually been dwindling for centuries, while the cat population only seemed to grow. It was one of the main reasons mating, or even rutting outside the race was highly looked down upon. 

But the discrepancy made the inu’s rule over the West that much more impressive. 

“We will be forced to operate with the utmost discretion. Should we be spotted, it will be over.” 

This was going to make things difficult. The distance was one thing, but soon they would be forced into hiding. Inuyasha didn’t want to think of what would happen if any of them got captured. 

“Okay, so what's past the mountains?” 

“Northeast of the mountains lies our compound. If Rin is not there, there will at least be those who can lead us to her. There are other compounds, I simply do not know where to find them.” 

Inuyasha did not want to ask what exactly they were going to do once they got in there. He had an idea, but they hadn’t gone over the specifics. He figured Sesshoumaru would clue him in when the time came. He wondered if he even knew. 

“What’s beyond the tiger compound?” he wondered. Sesshoumaru looked uncomfortable in that moment, and it intrigued him. 

“This One is uncertain. It is farther than I have ventured, and even farther than my maps illustrate.” It was an uneasy confession. He did not like to admit being ignorant, but he would not deny that he was. 

He should have taken the time to venture further when he was demon, but he simply had no good reason to go up that far north in the past. If he ever was again, he vowed to leave no blade of grass untread. 

Inuyasha was satisfied for now. By the silence of the others, it seemed the rest of the pack was too. 

“Alright then. I guess we’re on schedule. Might as well rest up and enjoy the nice fire and food while we have it.” 

“Indeed.” Sesshoumaru relaxed his posture. There was no point in fretting needlessly until they knew exactly what they were in for. 

“Speaking of which, this venison is incredible. Who caught it? Was it you, Sango?” Inuyasha threw an arm around his woman, and she shook her head. 

“Nope, not this time.” 

“Miroku then?” he asked, turning to the monk. 

“Not I, old friend.” Miroku smiled back at the hanyou, who then threw a suspicious side eye back over to Sesshoumaru. 

“Keh, don’t tell me the bastard made himself useful for once.” 

“It was Kagome,” Sango finally informed him. The miko beamed at him hopefully. She’d hoped to impress him. 

“Pfft. Yeah, right. Nice try.” Her face dropped as Inuyasha brushed off the notion. 

“We all love Kagome, but we also know her skill with a bow needs some work.” 

“Inuyasha!” Sango scolded incredulously. 

“What? I mean, she’s great against an enemy, don’t get me wrong. But when it comes to hunting, she’s a total dud.” 

There was an uncomfortable silence. Inuyasha seemed oblivious to both the sudden tense air, and his half-brother's glare. 

“Inuyasha. I caught the deer,” Kagome finally insisted tightly. 

“But not by yourself, right? Who were you helping?” He wore a cocky grin, like he’d just won a match, still unaware of the scowls, and death glares being leveled at him. 

“Never mind. You’re right.” Sesshoumaru’s head snapped over to the miko at her curt reply. He wanted her to be the one to put the half breed in his place. Set him straight. He was disappointed that it appeared she didn’t intend to. 

“There, see. You can’t fool me. I ain’t as dumb as you all think.” 

He suddenly noticed the change in Kagome’s demeanor. 

“Ah, C’mon Kags, don’t be mad. Hey, I wanted to tell you how pretty you look today.” 

“Whatever,” she dismissed his lame compliment hotly. 

“No, I’m serious. You are looking really good lately. Like, the hottest I’ve ever seen you. Everyone can tell.” 

“He’s right, Kagome, you look amazing,” Sango agreed. Inuyasha’s arm was still slung over her shoulders. 

“Thank you,” she finally said, a little uncomfortable with the sudden attention. 

“Hmm, maybe I should borrow some of that makeup, spruce myself up too.” Sango noticed how all the guys had been looking at her friend lately. After Inuyasha’s statement, she wondered if maybe she should get in on the action. 

He leaned in closer to her, grinning wide. 

“Who you kiddin? You don’t need any makeup. You look amazing without it.” 

Kagome tried not to look to hurt by his statement. To her, he was insinuating that she did need it. She watched as he rubbed his nose into Sango’s, and decided she couldn’t take anymore. She’d had enough. 

She got up, and made her way to her backpack. Miroku and Sesshoumaru watched intently as she grabbed a small notebook from it, and by the time she made to leave the camp, the other two had noticed as well. 

“Hey, where ya goin?” Inuyasha asked her. 

“I’ve been recording our daily progress. I need to journal it before I go to sleep.” 

She rushed off, not wanting to explain herself further. Sesshoumaru’s eyes remained on her retreating form until she was out of sight, trying to discern where exactly she was running off to. 

Inuyasha shouted after her. 

“Okay, well don’t go too far, in case a demon comes.” 

She clenched her jaw at his departing remark. 

Of course. Because she was totally useless, right? Completely helpless on her own. 

“Sure.” 

* * *

Kagome found herself down by the creek again, where she’d washed herself clean of deer blood just a few hours ago. The moon was larger, and lower, and the reflection off the cleansing stream seemed to illuminate the surroundings even more prominently. The small patch of earth was glowing like a beacon in the otherwise dark and sinister forest, and she a beacon within that as her natural light increased its prominence even still. 

It wouldn’t be long before that moon above would be new again. Kagome worried where in this dangerous cat territory they were breaching her friend would be at his most vulnerable. But her thoughts quickly strayed. 

Gazing up at that large moon, the notebook in her hand was forgotten. She both hated and loved how innocuous shows of nature had her thoughts constantly drifting to him. The moon and trees were things that always drew her mind to Inuyasha, whether she wanted them to or not. Inescapable in their ubiquity, he was inescapable too. 

She wondered, when her mind plagued her so often with the source of her obsession, how it was even possible for him to think of her so little. It seemed to her like everything she had ever done had been for him. How could he in turn be so callous, and careless with her heart? Her fragile emotions? 

She supposed it really highlighted the one-sidedness of her devotion. 

He wasn’t bad. Just a little dim, and a lot clueless. But she felt that even though she was doing her best to be accepting and accommodating of his budding relationship with her good friend, he didn’t seem to be taking any considerations with her in return. 

Shaking herself, she opened her notebook and tapped the pen upon the blank page. She didn’t bother dating her entries; she’d long since lost track. Not that it mattered. Gazing up at the moon, she tried to look through it as she attempted to rein in her wayward thoughts and focus them. 

_I am Kagome_ _Higurashi_ , she wrote. And then nothing. 

It had not bolstered her inspiration as she had hoped. Staring through her name, as she had with the moon only sent her thoughts on a kamikaze to the same destination. She was starting to get depressed. 

What did he know? He hadn’t even been around lately to observe her progress. Any time spent with the group went almost exclusively to Sango. And she could understand, in a way. But she liked to think that if she started seeing someone, she would still find time to check in on her best friend. 

At least she would be gracious enough not to outright insult him in front of everyone. 

Did he really have no faith in her abilities? 

Did he even see her as a woman? Had he ever? 

Maybe not. Maybe that was the problem. 

What did he know? 

He knew her. He knew her better than anyone, she supposed. And if he saw her as some kind of unremarkable joke, perhaps there was a kernel of truth in it. 

She felt a familiar sting in her eyes she had grown to know all too well, and for a moment she tried to will the feeling away. But her resistance was weary. It had been a long day. A long week. A long fucking fortnight. A long couple years even. Long and hard and so incredibly taxing. 

And what did she have to show for it? A couple nasty scars, a broken heart... Irreversible damage to her self worth. She needed release. 

She sobbed into her knees, gathering them to her chest, she placed her notebook aside let out her stress and frustration in the only way she knew how. A way she knew too well. It was pathetic, but cathartic. She always felt much better after a good cry. Once she got it out of her system, she could return to face her friends, and perhaps be worn out enough to get some sleep before she was forced to dwell on herself for any length of time. The topic of her was one she did not like being forced to consider for any extended period. 

“Miko.” 

His pleasant voice scared the wits out of her, but embarrassment immediately took hold. As much as she appreciated a good cry, she did not like doing it in front of others. Especially not him. He already thought she was pathetic and weak. She hated making him right. 

She tried to gather herself as he took an uninvited seat on the ground beside her, but she knew it was pointless. 

She sniffed as she wiped the moisture from her cheeks and eyes, and tried to regain control of her emotions while pointedly avoiding looking at him. 

“Are you alright?” 

She could hear the concern there. She was probably the only person who could detect it in his monotone. But there was a soft edge to the ice he purposely and practicably portrayed. 

“I’m fine,” she insisted, hating the tremor in her voice. “It’s just been a long day.” 

She was still avoiding him, so she didn’t see his disapproving scowl. She still insisted on lying to him. It was a habit he longed to break her of. He thought some progress had been made, but apparently he still had work to do. 

“Indeed,” he decided to agree instead. There would be time to correct her behavior later. Right now, it appeared she needed something else. But what, he could not exactly discern. 

She was right. It had been a long day. But one that only seemed to improve as it progressed. He thought things had been going relatively well. Until his idiot brother made his premature return. 

“The hanyou is a fool.” 

She sniffed again, and resumed drying her face with the sleeve of her jacket. 

It was nice to hear at the moment. But as good as it felt to bash him, she knew it was pointless. 

Sesshoumaru was always good for cutting down his brother, but it didn’t make Inuyasha any less right. He would do her no favors by simply avoiding the truth. 

“He wasn’t lying.” Sesshoumaru continued to watch her. Though her tears had subsided, she was now using the nearly full moon as a distraction from facing him. 

“That’s at least one thing you have in common. Your father must have been a very honest man.” 

He was becoming more displeased by the second, and he furrowed his brow slightly at the display. 

“It is not the truth.” She managed a short, humorless laugh. 

“Yes it is; he was right. I didn’t kill the deer on my own.” She paused a moment, and turned her head away from him. Mentally, she added that he was right about the makeup too. He’d never told her she looked nice. Never even once complimented her appearance until today. She saw how men had been reacting. She just wasn't a natural beauty like Sango, or Kikyo. 

Sesshoumaru frowned at her, waiting fruitlessly for her to finally turn and regard him. He looked down between them and saw her discarded notebook at her side. He stared at it a moment in silence. Stared at her name. But unlike her, he wasn’t simply looking past the pen strokes. Unlike her, he found himself duly motivated. 

“Who are you?” 

She scoffed, and placed her ear down on her knees. But he was weary of this display. 

“No, I really would like to know. What happened to the woman who took Naraku down with her arrow? The woman who never hesitates to put any demon in his place, no matter how powerful.” 

She didn’t answer. Still didn’t turn to meet his intimidating gaze. She knew she couldn’t handle it if she did. She couldn’t take his censure at the moment, and she refused to break out in tears in front of him. 

But the relentless man persisted. 

“The miko I know would never allow anyone to make her feel lesser. Certainly not an uncouth, ignorant half breed. She cares not for the opinions of others, because she knows herself. Her own opinion is the only one that has ever been of any consequence to her.” 

He saw she intended to be difficult, and he was tired of waiting. So he boldly weaved his fingers through her hair, and gently coaxed her to finally look at him. 

“What happened to that brave, fearless priestess who makes any to underestimate her or count her out painfully aware of his folly, often to his great dismay. Because she is not here.” 

She knew he could see the red in her eyes. The puffiness. The weakness. But when he released her, she couldn’t turn away. The endless sea in his eyes; the angry determination demanded her obedience, and she could not resist him. 

“I miss that miko. I liked her.” 

He did? Why? Why would he possibly? 

But then, why would he possibly lie? 

She anticipated his admonishment, his condemnation, his irritation. 

She hadn’t anticipated his patience, his concern... his authenticity. 

He was captivating. And she could not simply look through him, or avoid him. Unlike her, he could not be ignored. 

“Tell me,” he seemed to beg, and she yearned to give him what he wanted. “why would any human waste time pining over one who does not return her affections? What sense does it make to want someone who is not intelligent enough to want you in return? I will never understand it.” 

He made it sound so cut and dried. But how could he ever understand? There was probably nothing on this earth he desired, that he could not have. 

Then she realized, there was. 

If she wanted to make him understand, she could point him straight towards his lust for his half-brother's sword. The one she’d helped him retrieve. 

But maybe another time. 

“If the hanyou cannot realize his great fortune at having the Shikon Miko hear his word above all others, then he is every bit the fool I had always assumed.” 

She could do naught but stare back into his earnest features. She didn’t know what to say. 

He was trying to make her feel better, and she appreciated that. But it didn’t change anything. It didn’t change the truth. 

“You still do not believe me.” 

With a heavy sigh, he looked back down to the space between them. His eyes cut to hers for a moment, and he picked up her notebook. 

“What are you doing?” she asked nervously, and tried to remember if she had written anything embarrassing in there. But he wasn’t flipping through her notes. He held the book in front of him, still open to the same page she had, and he reached for the pen still held firmly in her grasp. 

He easily wrested it from her, and after inspecting the strange utensil he’s seen her use before, he tested it out by drawing a line under the sentence she had written. 

“We are making a list,” he announced, scooting a little closer. She only looked on suspiciously. 

“I want you to tell me something about yourself that is true. Something impressive.” 

She looked at him like he’d just informed her he was Napoleon and had a castle on the sun, but he was not deterred in the slightest. 

He decided to get the ball rolling. 

_I killed_ _Naraku_ , she watched him write in the line below her name. 

“Now you do one,” he demanded. She only cocked an eyebrow. 

“So you’re speaking in the first person now, but only when you use my name?” she taunted incredulously. He smirked at her. 

“I see I do not need to put down ‘I am incredibly humorous.’” 

She just stared back at him in disbelief as he waited on patiently. But only for a moment. 

He lowered his pen again, and added another to the list. 

_I travel through time_

She looked down at the pad, and back up to him. His expectant demeanor – and experience – told her his lordship was not going to let up. So with a huff, she gave a modest eyeroll and thought on it. 

“Let’s see. I am... a talented archer.” 

“I suppose I _may_ add that you are incredibly humorous.” He smiled when she scoffed, but proceeded to write down her reply. Then he went again. 

_I am powerful_

His eyes were heavy then, appreciative. She blushed at the compliment. Coming from him, and knowing what high regard he placed in power, it made her feel lighter. 

“I am compassionate.” At least, she liked to think so. He seemed willing to agree, as he added it to the list. Though she got the feeling there were no wrong answers here. 

She didn’t know how helpful all this was going to be, but she found herself eager to learn more of the things he seemed to like about her. But his next answer shot ice water through her veins. 

“I purified the Shikon no Tama. Hn, perhaps we should have mentioned that sooner.” 

Her eyes flew wide at his mention of the sacred jewel. Sometimes, she forgot that it was the root of all his problems. That _she_ was... 

How long before he put it all together? He was a smart guy, surely he would figure it out soon enough. 

What then? Would he hate her? How could he not? 

How could she ever tell him now? Her honesty was so important to him, and she had been lying to him this whole time. She prayed he would never find out. She just hoped he didn’t start asking questions about the jewel. About her wish... 

Seeing her flounder, he opted to go again. 

“I am beautiful.” 

And her eyes cut to his, and she hurt. 

It wasn’t a lusty, heated gaze like he’d given her back at the stream. It was something else in those alluring, hypnotizing eyes that was just for her. Something kind. Something tender. 

It made her ache in the most painful way. Ache for how endeared to her he was becoming. Ache for how much she loathed herself in return. 

This exercise was supposed to make her feel better about herself. But she felt even worse than before. 

But she refused to let him know it. She went along with this process, and by the end, they had rather generous and overly flattering list of her most impressive traits and feats. 

Finally pleased with their progress, he pulled the list back to himself and started making marks on the page. He wouldn’t let her see what he was doing, and when she tried to look, he shielded her view. 

“What are you doing?” she asked. His eyes never left the page. 

“Consolidating. I am reducing the list to only the most important answers, for efficiency.” 

She watched him continue to make scratch marks on the paper, and found herself somewhat eager to discover what it was about her he seemed to appreciate the most. 

“There.” Finally, he stopped, and looked over his completed list to make certain he was finished. He seemed satisfied. 

“This is all you ever need to know.” But as she reached out to take the notebook, he slammed it shut in his hand. She looked at him questioningly as he continued to hold it out of her grip. 

“When you doubt yourself, by way of some fool’s notions or your own, I would like you to look at this list. In here you will find the only facts that are of any importance.” He handed it to her at last, and she reached out to grab it. But he didn’t let go. 

“And you will know it is the truth. Why?” 

“Because you never lie,” she realized, transfixed in everything that was him. He smiled, and it only dug her deeper. 

“Correct.” He released the book, and she looked down in awe at the item in her hands. She began to open it, but a shrill scream from the camp pierced through the air, and the moment quite efficiently. They hardly needed a second to look at one another before they took off running back to their packmates. 

They arrived to find flames flying up the arm of their monk’s purple robe. He was screaming, trying to hit it out, while Inuyasha and Sango were assisting in trying to beat the fire off of him. 

Kagome ran to her pack, and pulled out one of her bottles of water. Pushing the others aside, she emptied the full bottle onto his sleeve, successfully dousing the impressive flame. 

“Are you alright?” Inuyasha demanded, and pulled back the charred remains of his clothing. His arm appeared to be intact. 

Kagome’s heart was racing. With a hand on her chest, she watched the others surround the clumsy monk, and berate him for not being careful when he got near the campfire. 

She was really going to have to have a talk with him about stop, drop and roll. 

As the others yelled at/fussed over the almost burn victim, Kagome returned to her pack to replace the empty bottle. She would refill it tomorrow. 

She was about to return her notebook too. But with a look to the others, and seeing them all distracted, she quickly flipped to the page that contained Sesshoumaru’s list. 

It took a moment to register, and when she realized what she was looking at; she became so weak she’d nearly dropped the book on the ground. 

She chanced another look to Sesshoumaru, to see him still distracted with the mayhem by the campfire, and looked back down to her paper again. 

He had run a single line through ever single entry the two of them had made. The only thing that remained was her original entry, with a large, defining circle drawn around it. 

In that moment, she had realized her folly. 

She thought it was over between them. She had been resigned to the fact that the two of them could not get involved romantically, because his future as a demon was uncertain. 

But now, she realized that she didn’t care. 

They may not have a future together. In fact, it was entirely likely they would not. But she decided that any time they would be awarded would be enough. He made her better. She wanted to be with him. 

And maybe, just maybe, it would be worth the pain. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the response, peeps! As always, I appreciate the feedback, and the fact that you’re reading, and just all of you in general =) 
> 
> kay, we just passed the halfway mark. do you like how things are going? i think it only gets better from here.


	20. Suspended

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t take this one too seriously. I was in a weird mood, and I just felt like having a little fun before we get into the next arc =) enjoy! 

Maneuvering through the Northern Lands had been easier than anticipated. With a new  haori for camouflage, none had yet been able to recognize the Western Lord as he traveled through the familiar area with his companions.

The tips finally started rolling in as well. Though it made sense that in the feline’s territory, various felines would have been spotted. Only one human they had interviewed reported word of a young girl traveling with a cat youkai, but it was hearsay, and the youkai in question was a puma, so  Sesshoumaru was not certain how much stock he should put into the account. But still, they were getting close.

Very close. Finally, after several days of arduous travel, they were now in the very last human village before entering the mountains. They were continuing their questioning for good measure, but this last stop would serve as more of a chance to recoup and gather their bearings before beginning the most dangerous part of their journey yet.

Supplies had been stocked and minor wounds treated. Baths had been taken, and clothing had been washed, and each member was making sure to get as much rest and food as they felt they needed before venturing off into the uncertain unknown.

As luck would have it, the small town seemed to be in the midst of a festival of some sort. The reason for the celebration was unclear, but it served to make all the villagers quite boisterous and accommodating. Acquiring free lodging had not been an issue, and everyone seemed to be congregating for the festivities in the center of town. This made the humans much easier to track down, and they were more than willing to entertain the questions from the out-of-towners being welcomed in as guests.

“You are really planning to cross the Northern Mountains?”

Their normal method of ‘divide and conquer’ when it came to interrogating the townspeople had proved to be an efficient method so far, so they stuck with it. But when Kagome noticed that the very attractive young woman Sesshoumaru was sitting with couldn’t seem to keep her hands to herself, she had elected to abandon her interview to go over and assist.

It had been a dead end anyway. And the way the woman kept laughing and touching his arm - or even once, his  _ shoulder _ – left Kagome no choice but to go over and chaperone.

Because though her interest in  Sesshoumaru had been renewed – not that it ever really stopped – she still hadn’t been certain as to how to approach him. Back at the inn, he seemed to expect that whatever time they would share together would involve physical affections. And though she was curious as to how things might progress, Kagome was still not ready for sex. She wanted to wait, and get to know him a little better first in the context of a romantic relationship. The only difference now was that she wasn’t expecting him to stay with her after his switch back to a demon.

She knew she should just talk to him about it, but they had been running on all cylinders to get to the mountains as soon as possible. Whatever romantic interests they had in one another would have to take a backseat to their very important mission. With the others constantly around, it made things more difficult. She could finally appreciate  Inuyasha wanting to slip away with Sango every time the opportunity presented itself.

But they’d finally had a bit of downtime in this last village. And with the celebration going full force, there were several lovely women about who had taken notice of their handsome comrade. It was all she could do to keep finding reasons to ward the women away. Made even more difficult that he didn’t seem to be discouraging them one bit.

“Yes. We all are,” Kagome responded for him, obviously annoyed with the pretty girl. The woman wasn’t deterred. If she noticed the  temperament of the  miko at his side, she didn’t seem to be  acknowledging it. Her focus belonged to  Sesshoumaru .

“Wow. You must be very brave,” she gushed adoringly, offering the man a smile that was brimming with invitation. “I’ve never met any human willing to travel into the puma territories. I’ve never even seen one try, and I’ve lived here all my life.” She shyly looked down a moment while a pink hue claimed her cheeks. “I mean, I’ve seen demons come and go. We get more than our share of attacks. But those mountains are so terribly dangerous. I’ve never met a man as brave as you.” Large, mooning eyes found his, and she held his gaze meaningfully as he allowed a small smile of his own to relay that he appreciated her assessment.

But Kagome was getting worried. He looked like he appreciated more than just her praise, and she wondered if he was once again looking to receive some female attention, now that she had declared nothing could transpire between them.

And seeing as this could be the last human village they would visit for some time; he might be considering that it was now or never.

Kagome tried to break the current between them by leaning into their line of sight.

“Yeah, well, we’re all going, so...”

“And all to save a little girl? That is so sweet. Is she yours?” But this woman was unshakable. Each of Kagome’s attempts to thwart any progress she was making was met with determined poise. She was neither angry nor  frustrated with the  miko’s constant interruptions.

“She is mine,” he proudly boasted, and the woman offered him a sad smile. Damned if it didn’t look genuine too.

“That’s so terrible. I couldn’t imagine losing a child that way. You and your wife are very strong.” The insinuation knocked Kagome completely off her game.

Looking pensively at  Sesshoumaru , she was very interested to see how he would handle the woman’s assumption.

“She is not my wife. Though she is quite strong.” He still wore his small, friendly smile as he turned to offer the  miko her due. She forced herself to respond in kind, though she was not pleased with the turn this conversation was taking.

“Oh, your intended then?” the woman asked innocently, but Kagome wasn’t buying it. She scowled at her, but the woman was too lost in  Sesshoumaru’s eyes to notice.

“She is an ally. And a friend.” And this time, he did not turn when he spoke of her. Likely aware of the woman’s interest, he seemed to even lean a bit closer.

“So the child’s mother is...”

“Dead. Unfortunately. Her father as well. I am merely her  guardian .”

“Such a sweet man,” she melted, but quickly gathered herself enough to be coy. “So brave too. We could use more men like you around here.” She leaned closer, and touched him again on his arm. “How can I convince you to stay?” She appeared to only be half joking as her smile took on a more suggestive air. Kagome interrupted again.

“You can’t. We have a little girl to find, and we are in a hurry. So if you could just tell us what you know about the Northern Mountains, we can get out of your hair.”

She finally spared Kagome a glance, but  Sesshoumaru never faltered.

“What my  friend means is, any information you may have would be very helpful to us. Can you think of anything?”

She hated how cordial he was being with this woman. Where was the cold, stoic, totally uninterested  Sesshoumaru she had come to appreciate? She thought that she was the only one he reserved that kind tone for. Suddenly she wasn’t feeling so special.

The woman appeared to really be taking his question to heart, and was thinking hard for anything relevant to tell them.

“Well, you already know they are dangerous, and there are no humans.” She tapped her finger on her chin as she seemed to recall something. “But come to think of it, I haven’t seen as much demon activity around here lately either. Hopefully your journey will turn out to be an uneventful one.”

“That would be a nice change of pace.” The woman laughed again, in a way that Kagome was truly beginning to despise, and she rolled her eyes.

“I guess the only other thing that’s special about those mountains is the magic.”

“Magic?” This got both their attention, however, and the mood became a touch more serious.

“Oh, yes. I’ve never seen it myself, but I have heard stories from  other youkai who pass through. The pumas have been perfecting a special kind of magic that only works on other demons. I’m not sure the specifics, but they said it can be used for binding spells, incapacitation... but like I said, it only effects youkai.”

Kagome and  Sesshoumaru looked at each other, trying to discern if the other had ever heard of such a thing. Apparently neither had.

“I’ve also heard of it being used for camouflage.”

“What for?” Kagome couldn’t help but ask. The woman shrugged.

“You’ve got me. Those sneaky cats are always trying to get one over on their cousins one way or another. I heard a rumor that the pumas want to challenge the panthers for control of the North, but so do all the others, I suppose. I wonder if their magic is meant to aid them in some way.”

In her time in the Northern Lands, Kagome was coming to understand that all these separate cat youkai houses were  constantly out to usurp the ruling title from the panther demons. It had been going on for generations, yet nothing substantial had ever come of it. It was regarded as somewhat of a joke, and a mild annoyance to those in power, nothing more.

“It is  imperative that I learn more of this magic,”  Sesshoumaru insisted.

“Are you departing tonight?” the woman asked, meeting his gaze once again.

“Tomorrow morning, actually.” He earned a pleased smile for his response.

“Well, then. If you wanted to come over to my house tonight, I’m certain we could-”

“Uh,  Sesshoumaru . I need to have a word with you.” Kagome stood suddenly, and boldly grabbed him by the arm. He was confused by her urgency.

“I must hear of this magic-”

“No problem, we’ll get  Miroku on it.” She looked about for a moment, and finally found who she was looking for. “Hey,  houshi !”

She waved the monk over while  Sesshoumaru studied her suspiciously. She had been acting very strange lately.

When  Miroku approached, she gestured over to the seated woman.

“This is uh, Kaya-”

“Aya,” she corrected sweetly, and received a smile that was equally so.

“Right. She has some very important information to tell you about youkai magic. Get all you can out of her, okay?”

The twinkle in his eye when introduced to the beautiful woman set Kagome at ease.  Miroku was charming, and worked fast. She knew if she gave him the opportunity, this woman would be out of her hair in no time.

“It would be my pleasure.” As he took her seat,  Sesshoumaru followed the priestess who pulled him anxiously out of hearing range.

“What is it,  miko ?” he asked, while she leaned in  conspiratorially .

“Demon magic? Why would a group of demons create magic to only harm other demons?”

He blinked.

“Probably to harm other demons. What is your point?”

She became nervous, feeling a little stupid under his scrutiny.

“Well, why not humans? Isn’t that strange?”

“No,” he informed her, not quite  condescendingly . “Humans are obviously no threat to them here. There appear to be none causing them distress. Their mountains are bereft of them.” He paused, and as an  afterthought, “ Why would they need magic  against humans anyhow? They are youkai, their natural born magic should more than suffice.”

She accepted what he had told her  sheepishly , and he raised an eyebrow at her continued silence.

“Was that all?”

Her concern obviously didn’t warrant such an  abrupt exit, and she tried to think of more questions to validate it.

“Why do you think they want special magic against demons? Do you think they are planning something?” she asked him, and his eyes cut back to where they had been seated a moment ago.

“I do not know. Perhaps we should have asked the woman who did, before she took off with the lecher.”

She turned just in time to see  Miroku helping the young woman to her feet, and escorting her off and away from the festival. Kagome tried not to celebrate too openly.

“Already?” she tried to act surprised at the outcome. “Good ol’ Miroku. He’s such a slut.” Then she laughed nervously, and earned another cocked brow – this one rife with suspicion.

“Indeed.” He could sense something was amiss, and she tried not to buckle under the weight of his stare.

“What are you doing?” he asked, she attempted to respond innocently.

“What?”

“That.” He gestured to the now empty seats where they had just been. “That is not the first time you have ushered me away from a woman who was offering me information.”

“She was offering more than that,” Kagome muttered flatly as she shifted her eyes to the side.

“It appeared that way. Why did you  interfere ?” He seemed much more curious than annoyed. She got the feeling he was tracking something.

“I didn’t mean to. I just thought-”

“In fact, that was not the first time you have sent in the monk to replace me in my interview. And it seems to only occur when I am interviewing an attractive woman.”

He was sounding very confident in his detective skills, and she was looking everywhere but him.

“She was okay, I mean-”

“Am I missing something? Because This One was under the impression you did not wish to engage in a physical relationship with him.”

She forgot how blunt he could be, though she wasn’t sure how. His accusation caught her off guard.

“I... don’t-”

“Then why the jealousy? Is there something you wish to tell me?” He awaited her answer expectantly, and she faltered. 

She knew she should just tell him. How she wished she could just say what she was thinking like he could. But it didn’t seem right. They were about to embark on the most dangerous part of their mission yet, and everyone needed their eyes on the prize.

Maybe, when this leg of the journey was over, there would be time to talk about the possibility of ‘them.’ But these were the last humans they would encounter. If she could just keep him away from the girls in this village, there wouldn’t be any more chances for him to go  off with someone else. And she would have some time to explore her feelings and what she wished to do.

Not her proudest moment, but she’d made her decision.

“What? No! Look, I’m sorry I messed up your chances, I’m just trying to get to the bottom of all this. For Rin.”

Another suspicious glare condemned her quite  thoroughly . He could tell she was using his ward as a way to justify her conduct. She attempted to brush it off.

“And I wasn’t aware you were still looking to get some action. But now that we’re done, maybe we should go find the others and get dinner started. I think we got all we need here.”

He watched her take off for the house they were staying at, trying his best to make sense of her recent odd behavior.

But he chose not to comment further, opting instead to simply follow after her and prepare himself for the journey ahead.

* * *

Normally, Kagome loved a good party. Any chance for a celebration was a welcome respite from the drudge of day to day demon killing and world saving.

But somehow, being forced to attend made the whole experience a good deal less fun.

They had finally figured out what the festival was celebrating.  Apparently, the lord of this village had wrested the title from another vile, bloodthirsty brute who forced the townspeople into slave labor for his own personal gain.

And not to be mistaken; Kagome was glad these people now had a kinder, more caring lord to serve, but she had a big day tomorrow. And she did not appreciate being dragged from her lodging and told that everyone in the town must participate in the culmination of the weeklong event; namely the bonfire party.

It was basically alcohol and dancing. You know, normal party stuff. But the crew had all vowed not to partake in libations, as they had a long trek ahead of them starting very early in the morning.

And Kagome didn’t dance, unless completely inebriated.  So there was really nothing here for her to enjoy.

She supposed she could socialize. That was normally something she excelled at. But with the way the women of this village seemed to be flocking around the man she was interested  in; she got the feeling she had a long night ahead of her simply running interference. Her goal was to get him out of there as soon as possible. Knowing how he normally felt about social gatherings with humans, she assumed it was not too lofty.

She was surprised to arrive and see no one dancing, despite a rather impressive bonfire roaring in the center of town. Rather, all the people in attendance were gathered around it in a circle, giving a wide berth to the flames.

The four of them approached the crowd to attempt and blend in. Four because  Miroku was still disappeared with that woman learning about demon magic, for certain. About now, Kagome kind of envied him. She debated convincing the rest of them to go back to the house, but as they were esteemed guests and staying for free, they were somewhat obligated to comply with the town decrees.

The crowd rumbled all around them. While  Inuyasha and Sango seemed to be taking great pleasure each other’s company, simply by way of having a nice, normal night in which to relax together; she found herself looking up at  Sesshoumaru and observing his always bored countenance with a measure of relief. There was no way he could be enjoying this.

As a small band gathered at the edge of a stage, a hush came over the crowd when a young, attractive couple stepped onto the platform. The crowd offered a respectful bow at their presence.

Rather, most of the crowd. Though Kagome felt obligated to comply out of polite decorum,  Sesshoumaru still refused to bow to anyone. Luckily, it didn’t seem to be noticed.

The young man spoke, welcoming and thanking the crowd for their attendance. As his speech wore on, Kagome became aware that this was the prince of the village. The son of the lord who saved these people from terrible toiling... Or at least their forbears.

And to his side, was his sister, Princess Masako.

Kagome was awed for just a moment in admiration of the woman’s beauty. Then immediately, she soured.

Was every woman beautiful in this stupid village?

“... so I thank each of you, for making this great village among the most prosperous in the North. And, dare I say, among the happiest.”

Kagome watched in amusement as the crowd burst into applause. She didn’t know why she snickered to herself at the spirited reaction. But when  Sesshoumaru’s assessing gaze finally made its way to her, his answering smirk only increased her enjoyment.

“So now, the moment you have all long awaited,” the prince announced, “your lovely Princess Masako will initiate the bonfire celebration by choosing one of the lucky males in attendance to share the first dance with.”

Instantly, Kagome’s amusement  dissipated .

No. She wouldn’t. What were the odds she was going to choose him?

Sure, he was the most gorgeous man that ever was, not to mention this little  po-dunk mountain town. But there was quite an impressive crowd here, and they were merely visitors. The odds were outrageously low. Still...

She  couldn't shake that  foreboding feeling deep within her gut.

The princess started at one end of the surrounding circle. She was certainly making a show of it; taking her time, prowling past each eager man, and teasing a certain few with a lingering glance or prolonged inspection.

The closer she rounded, the more Kagome’s eyes seemed to cut to Sesshoumaru at her side. He must have sensed her dismay, because now each time she chanced a look, his concerned gaze was fixed squarely upon her. She was being too obvious.

The princess’s eyes continued to scan the crowd as she neared the end of her prospective circle of partners. Tension in Kagome’s stomach grew tighter as the regal, beautiful woman finally passed her by. And then, to her dismay, she stopped.

Sesshoumaru , who had been back a foot or two from the rest of the eager crowd, watched on lazily from the cheap seats as she opted to stop before him. Seeing the recognition in her eyes, Kagome held a very  conscious breath.

Breaking the crowd, the princess ventured forward. Bodies split to allow her through, and soon she was standing nose to nose with the Lord of the Western Lands, whether or not she knew it. Did she?

He withstood her scrutiny easily and with poise. Allowed her to rake over him like some sort of prize cock... or other animal. Had she inspected any of the other males so  thoroughly ?

He held his chin high as she continued her inspection, never flailing or faltering as he simply stood there, and allowed her to get her fill of him.

Finally, she withdrew, and went back to the crowd to continue her insulting perusal.

Kagome was relieved, but also beside herself.

She didn’t pick him? How could she not pick him?

He was heads and shoulders above any man in here. Was she blind?

She supposed she shouldn’t question it. The princess’s folly worked in her favor.

The boy she finally picked was young. Gangly. Unimpressive. Though obviously from a good family.

But once she chose him, he grinned with pride, and escorted her to the bonfire to engage in the opening dance which was a requirement before anyone else could indulge.

Not that Kagome minded. She didn’t want to dance. She was only here out of obligation. Once this little performance  was through, she was going to try and steer her pack back to the room to get their very  integral rest.

The dance was awkward and choppy, but charming in a way. Once they were finished, the crowd applauded, and the prince then invited everyone to enjoy the celebration.

Kagome wanted to leave, but  Inuyasha and Sango elected to dance for a while.

The night was still young. So long as they weren’t drinking, she supposed a little innocent dancing wouldn’t hurt anything.

The band continued to play, and the couple got through a handful of songs. Growing increasingly bored, Kagome got her kicks watching numerous women approach  Sesshoumaru for a dance, and seeing him of course turn down each and every one. She felt validated.

Finally, seeing as the other couple intended to remain for a while, she asked him her burning question.

“Are you ready to go?”

His smirk told her everything, and he began preparing himself to leave. Or so she thought.

From out of nowhere, Princess Masako brushed right by her like she owned the place. Which, she guessed she did...

Kagome didn’t like how  Sesshoumaru seemed to snap to attention with the appearance of royalty.

Was this how he felt, when she did not  acknowledge his title?

It was suddenly like she didn’t exist, as the princess garnered his complete attention.

“You’re not from here.” It wasn’t a question, and it was issued only inches from his face. His rigid form stiffened even further.

“I am not,” he confirmed. Her eyes on him were bordering on assault.

“Where are you from?”

Her curt demand didn’t shake him in the slightest.

“South of here.”

She looked him up and down again, but this time an amused smile played at her perfectly painted lips.

“South of the Northern Lands. You don’t say.”

She continued to smirk, but earned no response.  So she ventured forward.

“You are those brave travelers who are crossing the mountains, are you not?”

“Indeed,” he confirmed with a stiff nod. “Have you any information regarding them?”

This time a short laugh did escape her.

“I’m used to dealing with men who have a one-track mind, but you are of a different breed altogether.”

His gaze took on a dangerous tint, and appeared to shoot a  visible thrill right through her.

“You have no idea.”

She was openly smiling now. She looked as if she was restraining  herself from touching him. Kagome knew that look.

“You know, I wanted to choose you,” she informed him casually. “But these things are predetermined. The boy I danced  with; his father just entered into a treaty with my brother. I was commanded to favor him as a show of good faith.”

Kagome  recognized his smile as one he partnered with mockery.

“As far as dutiful burdens go, I would say you have gotten off easy,” he deigned. She smiled coyly.

“ It's not as easy as it looks. What do you know of it?” After she asked, he leaned close to give his answer.

“More than you may  perceive .”

It was so weird to see  Sesshoumaru demurring to another royal. He must just be trying to fit in... as much as someone like him ever could. He almost looked like he was enjoying being a nobody.

“Care to elaborate?” she tried, only to see him retreat and restraighten.

“I would not.”

“Didn’t think so.” She looked him up and down once more for good measure; assessing. “So, are you going to ask me to dance or not?”

He schooled an unfamiliar smile into place, and to Kagome’s surprise, offered his arm.

“Where are my manners? Princess...”

She could only watch helplessly as he escorted the woman off into the crowd.

The band was halfway through a slower song, so she pressed herself to him and followed his simple movements.

“And you are?” she finally asked, after his hands were on her body.

“Sesshoumaru.”

“ Sesshoumaru ?” she repeated, and he fought the urge to flinch. “Hm, that is the name of a demon.” 

The way she mulled it, he worried she might recognize the famous name. He really should think of an alias, for while he was  masquerading as a human. He simply wasn’t used to pretending to be anything at all. But, he conceded, it would be better to  maneuver undetected.

“Fine, don’t tell me. You may keep your secrets,  _ Sesshoumaru _ .” He relaxed. She didn’t believe him. Likely didn’t even know who the real him was.

Humans were so easy. He needn’t worry himself.

“You are as gracious as you are beautiful.” His pandering came  seamlessly . Then he realized, he  actually meant it. She really was both those things. Perhaps he  shouldn't try so hard to not enjoy himself. Being human was like... a vacation from propriety. From duty, and obligation.

A more lively, up tempo beat demanded a different dance routine. Though it had been some time, he easily led her around the bonfire. Captivating her peers and subjects alike with his flawless and fluid movements.

Finally, after a few trips around, she demanded he meet her family. She introduced him to her brother the prince, as well as their powerful allies who collectively ran this town.

His history and experience saw him fitting in with them just fine.

After a spirited discussion with a few of the royal men about execution and strategy in war, the princess demanded his attention once again.

“Are you ready for another?” she asked expectantly. He let his gaze stray to the  miko he had left behind a good while ago. She was sitting alone, looking a bit downtrodden, and he considered he had been polite long enough.

“I am afraid I must retire,” he informed her. “I have a long day tomorrow, you understand. But I thank you for your company, princess.” She flushed unexpectedly when he lifted her hand to place a kiss on the top of it. But as soon as the heat of his lips subsided, she was only awash in confusion. She tried to shake herself of it. Tried to make sense of him.

“The night is still young,” she insisted with a smile. She was obviously not used to being denied anything. “If you tire of dancing, come back with me to the palace. You have my word I will have you out of there at a decent hour.”

It was a tempting offer. He considered it for a moment before turning his sights once again upon the  miko on the sidelines.

The princess was definitely not accustomed to being rejected. And she was trying to retain her dignity by  conceiving how she could order him to obey her request.

Kagome had lost track of the time; not that she ever really knew it.

Either way, he had been gone forever, and she doubted she would ever get him back now.

Yet another awkward,  albeit sweet young man saw her on her lonesome and came to ask her to dance, and yet again she had refused. She just wanted to go back to bed.

But  Sesshoumaru was off charming princesses, and  Inuyasha and Sango were still dancing by the fire. She was beginning to think that  Miroku had the right idea. Maybe next time she should just find a  nice looking man to go hole away with, rather than fulfil social obligations.

She was ready to finally give up and leave the rest of her pack to their own devices, until a pair of black boots and pristine white hakama came into view. She panned up to see him genuinely grinning at her.

No smirk, no mockery. She didn’t want to think of how the princess managed that.

“I apologize for being otherwise detained,” he offered smoothly, along with his hand. She’d really missed his voice. “Will you honor me with a dance?” 

Great. He was drunk. So much for idle promises. She was not looking forward to dealing with him in the morning. He was going to be super cranky.

“What happened to your princess?” she asked moodily, not bothering to take his hand- still  outstretched .

“Etiquette demanded I indulge her, but I have gifted her enough of my time.” Unsurely, yet  obediently nonetheless, her hand betrayed her by extending to rest in his.

“Is that what this is?” she asked  suspiciously . “A gift?”

“Of course,” he informed her, pulling her close to him as he did. “And I would thank you for it.”’ Without ever leaving her eyes, he brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss on the back.

His touch shot heat and pleasure all through her body, and he had to know it. Unable to refuse, or for that matter speak at all, she allowed him to guide her by the fire for the first time that night.

The song was once again up tempo, but he pulled her to him as if it was slow. She placed her hand at his shoulder, while he in turn used his hand at her hip to mold her to his body tightly.

“I just remembered; I don’t know how to dance.” She made her confession as other couples twirled and spun  vivaciously around them.

But he refused to follow the crowd. Instead, he leaned in close to her, and let her see his honest enjoyment.

“I like that about you.” And then he pressed her head against his shoulder.

She was raw. Untrained. Untainted. He could easily mold her for his purposes.

But he found, all he wanted was for her to stay like this forever. He wanted to shape her into nothing, although she had limitless potential.

She was easy to lead in his grasp. She would likely be easy to lead around a dancefloor. But he hated dancing. He just wanted her near him. Perhaps it made it all worth it.

“I had no idea you could dance,” she finally said. She had been watching him show off with the princess for the last hour or so. He really was something. Truly good at fucking everything.  So the opposite of her.

“Why would you?” he asked with a chuckle. “I only do so when obligated.” Their clasped hands were her lifeline. With them, he ordered her to spin for him, and return to him. No words were needed between them. They rarely were anymore.

“Is that what this is?” she asked when she was flush against him once more. He was still smiling at her fondly. At the moment, she couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t been.

“No. I wanted to dance with you.”

“Why?” It was so earnest a question. And he didn’t know why, but it made him laugh.

“I am not certain,” he answered honestly, because that was just what he did. “I just know that while dancing with her, I found myself wishing for your company instead.”

It didn’t answer everything, but she decided it was the answer she wanted. Placing her cheek back against his chest, she just let herself accept it.

“I prefer your company too.” 

“To whom?” he asked softly, slightly amused. Despite feeling his eyes on her, she couldn’t bear to lift her head. “You chose to remain alone all evening, sitting in solitude.”

But she would still answer him. She would do whatever he asked of her. At that moment, his body just felt too warm and nice against her skin to relinquish. She felt herself getting sleepy, as if hypnotized.

“I prefer you to solitude, and I prefer solitude to anyone else.”

It was so easy to just be honest.

“I feel the same about you.”

And satisfying, she learned.

* * *

By breakfast the next morning, everyone was packed and ready to go. After their  nourishing meal, the group would be heading off towards the mountains, this time with even the demon packmates in tow.

They couldn’t risk flying  Kirara over, for fear of being seen. From here on out, she was going to need to walk with the rest of them, or be carried. Either way, she would be forced to retain her adorable kitten form so as not to appear as a threat to the territorial cat youkai.

“So  Miroku , how did it go with Aya? Did she give you anything?” Kagome asked as she consumed her bowl of instant oatmeal.  Sesshoumaru had been a bit peeved that he hadn’t gotten to question her himself. He seemed very interested in this demon magic, and Kagome only hoped that was all he really cared about missing out on.

Feeling a little bad about it, she prayed that Miroku had been an acceptable substitute.

“Oh, yes. Quite a bit,” he said through a grin. His waggling eyebrows weren’t really necessary. “Thank you for the introduction Kagome- sama . That was just the  sendoff a man needs right before heading into a land with no women for who knows how long.”

Sesshoumaru didn’t react, but she leveled the pervert with an admonishing glare.

“I meant about the magic. Did she give you any information?”

He shook his head, scraping the rest of his breakfast into his plastic spoon as he spoke.

“Nothing aside from what she already told you, I am afraid. I suppose we will just have to keep our wits about us.”

That was actually too bad. They had enough to worry about without throwing mysterious magic into the mix. Luckily, they were mostly a pack of humans at the moment. Maybe it wouldn’t  affect them , if it was even true to begin with.

“Before we depart, there is something I wish to discuss.” All eyes drew to  Sesshoumaru , who had finished his meal long ago and was simply waiting on the others to depart.

“These mountains are  treacherous, and we have the added  obstacle of operating beneath the notice of several powerful and territorial demons. You all have my  respect for agreeing to embark on such a journey with This One, as well as my gratitude.”

His rare praise was validating, but also nerve wracking. It told them their journey was certain to be a trying one.

“I will do all in my power to ensure each of your safety. However, we must prepare for every eventuality.”

“What are you getting at?”  Inuyasha demanded as the Western Lord made a point to make eye contact with each of them.

“There is a chance we may become  separated . Whether by attack or  terrain or injury, there are several possible outcomes which see at least one of us being forced to deviate from the group. In this  occurrence , we must establish a rendezvous point so that we may reunite before we enter the compound. I shall leave no man – or woman – behind.”

The  possibility of splitting up was a  frightening one. Especially because he seemed to be concerned about it.

“Okay. Where were you thinking?” Sesshoumaru appeared to have a plan, so Inuyasha was willing to let him take the floor. He pulled out his map, and rolled it out on the table where everyone could view it.

“The tiger’s territory lies on the other side of the mountains. Once inside, there is a large village beyond the surrounding forest perimeter. This village will be our haven. It is occupied by humans who serve the tigers in various capacities, and they are allowed to reside there without conflict. It is understood by the youkai of this land that the village is not to be disturbed, and is offered a measure of protection. These humans will be welcoming and  accommodating should we require their  hospitality .”

He pointed to the section of land where the village lay, but there was so much forest that nothing distinguishable could be discerned.

“This is where we will rejuvenate and construct our final plan before breaching the compound. Should anything happen, travel there and await my arrival. We will not go on until all of us are reunited.”

“But what if-”

“I do not plan for failure,” he cut off sharply, obviously anticipating the question. “I trust everyone present will succeed in preserving themselves  adequately .”

He clearly refused to address it, but none of the other members could dismiss the underlying question. How long would they wait until they figured someone didn’t make it?

“It is inland of the province’s southwest border,” he continued. “The village is large. Should you arrive in the  vicinity; it is doubtful you will miss it. Do not forget.”

He  emphasized the point beyond the mountains again, and they tried to memorize the location, just in case.

“Well, as long as we’re not planning for failure, let’s not plan to split up at all, okay?”

Sesshoumaru nodded, pleased with his brother’s assessment. Dwelling on tragic conclusions was a waste of time, and an insult to his experience.

“Indeed. Once we enter the mountains, everyone must stay near. And on alert.”

His grave warning was accepted with the seriousness with which it was relayed. With another meaningful round of eye contact, he rolled up his map and repacked it. They were now ready to go. When the last of their breakfast was consumed, they gathered their belongings and finally set out for the Northern Mountains.

* * *

The vast Northern Mountain Range cut dramatically through the northeast corner of the country. Running northwest to southeast, the cluster of large mountains provided many ports of entry via access to the base.

The particular mountain they had come upon was the one they would be scaling to find their way to the other side, and it was likely an excursion that would take a few days. But it was important to enter the mountain at the correct location. Several misleading points of entry could see to taking the pack of travelers along a pathway that led to the incorrect destination; depositing them far from the bridge they were seeking, or else simply taking them into dangerous terrain.

So once they finally made it out of the surrounding forest at the base, the brief celebration they indulged in proved to be premature. For now as they scoured the perimeter, they were finding that locating the correct trailhead was more difficult than they had anticipated.

Inuyasha was far up ahead, using his speed to more quickly scout out the possible access points and look for the defining landmarks of their desired entrance.

The rest trailed behind, keeping a steady pace but ensuring not to overtax themselves. Once they breached the mountain, they were going to need every last ounce of energy to make it over.

So  far no demons had been spotted, so that was something. They were worried they may be met with hostility before they even got started. But the pumas must be further up the incline. Hopefully they would not encounter any at all, as it was still their goal to travel through beneath all notice.

“We are going the wrong way,” Kagome said as she distracted herself with  Sesshoumaru’s map. In her other hand was her compass, and she was  continuously comparing the two, often turning herself slightly to achieve her desired perception.

“As I have been saying for the last five miles,  miko ,”  Sesshoumaru remarked beside her, doing fairly well at masking his increased exasperation with the stubborn young woman.

“Oh, have you? I tuned you out before we reached the forest.” He plucked the map out of her hand easily, and tucked it back into his clothes. Twisting her lips into a scowl, Kagome took one last look at her compass and shoved it back in her pocket.

“If you had not, we could have corrected course an hour ago. Perhaps you enjoy wandering aimlessly.” He loomed behind her as he made his observation. They continued walking forward while she threw him an accusatory glance over her shoulder.

“You used to be pretty good at it yourself, if I recall.”

A few paces ahead, the monk and the slayer caught each other's eyes, and rolled them  simultaneously . ‘Here we go again,’ they seemed to communicate wordlessly.

Actually, they’d had a pretty good run. The constantly bickering couple had been behaving themselves rather well. But with the frustration of not being able to locate their access point, they likely had some tension that was in need of release. They seemed to commence picking at each other mostly in times of extreme boredom, or anxiety.

The unfortunate bystanders recognized the beginning of what was sure to be a long, over dramatic argument, so they picked up their pace to save themselves the anguish of eavesdropping.

“If you do, you are false,”  Sesshoumaru replied, not taking notice of the others’ rapid departure. “Your human mind simply could not conceive my complex motive. None can.”

He made a show of avoiding her, lifting his chin slightly to peruse the  mountainside to their right. She took no such efforts.

“Really?  Cuz all it looked like on our end was  crisscrossing your territory pointlessly. Only stopping to make a play for Tetsusiaga every once in a while.” She accented her point by gesturing broadly with her hand.

Having gotten some distance, the former lovers ahead of them leaned in to indulge in a bit of grumbling themselves.

“They need to get a room already and get it over with,” Sango declared, earning a vigorous nod of agreement.  Kirara , who sat on her shoulder, mewed in apparent solidarity, making it unanimous.

“I know. Spare me this long, drawn-out, tortuous foreplay.” Despite their protestations, it was becoming clear to everyone how close the two of them seemed to becoming. Even  Inuyasha was beginning to notice the palpable charge between them, though he saw fit to stay out of it. He didn’t even want to think about them being together.

It had been more subtle at first, but the way they seemed to enjoy spinning each other up, and getting themselves heated in the process, it was beginning to look like a prelude to ultimately unleashing some incredibly pent up desires. And it only got worse the longer they waited.

With the frequency their little squabbles were  occurring , it seemed like only a matter of time before they finally put their words aside and settled their disagreements  physically .

“They both need to get laid so bad. I’m about to lock them up in the nearest hut until they figure it out.” Sango was only half-joking. Their sexual frustration was starting to make  _ her _ irritable .

“I already tried that,”  Miroku informed her. “All they do is fight until they fall asleep in each other's arms; exhausted from something as boring as a debate. Dolts.”

They shook their heads, really more annoyed than amused with them at this point, and pressed forward.

The forest that had ended a while back appeared to begin encroaching on the mountainside. Trees were once again beginning to litter their path, and they were continuously dodging and weaving to avoid walking straight into one. If the arguing got too encompassing, it was very likely someone would end up with a broken nose.

“Hn. I do not expect you to understand,”  Sesshoumaru replied to her haughtily. Then, fixed her with a glare. “I recall snatching your hide out of death’s clutches more than once on my pointless travels. You think that was just a coincidence?”

She avoided meeting his gaze to receive that glare, just because she knew how much it irritated him, and shrugged.

“Probably. Besides, you made as many attempts on my life as rescues, so we can just call it even.”

He returned his sights forward as they walked together in step. They would sperate momentarily to avoid running into trees, before returning to each other’s side to pick up right where they left off. When they met again this time, he slid his eyes down to her.

“Had I wanted you dead, you would be.” He tried to sound as intimidating as he looked, and succeeded. Unfortunately, with her progressive comfort in his presence, it was not nearly to the degree he had hoped for.

“ So you didn’t try to melt me with poison?” she asked, cocking her eyebrow in condemnation.

“I knew that if you survived, you would be worthy to live.”

“But you didn’t  _ know _ I would survive.” Her accusation was accurate, and bothered him more than he cared to admit.

He couldn’t believe there was ever a time when he would have come after her so brutally. And really, it wasn’t all that long ago. At the moment, he’d never been so pleased of his failure.

“I knew you would not survive being abandoned inside  Naraku . Even  Inuyasha made an attempt on your life. And did I receive a thank you?”

She stopped in place, and furrowed her brow as she recalled the  day she’d woken to find him slicing down a  barrage of demons who attempted to attack her.

“I’m pretty sure you did.”

Now it was his turn to still.

Had she thanked him? He truly did not remember. It would certainly have been uncharacteristic.

Perhaps she had. Damn.

“Well, how about an apology?” he wondered as he tried to salvage his  grievance . “For touching my person?”

She smiled wide, aware that she’d won that round. He was grasping at  straws , and that bought her some room to antagonize.

“Your pelt is really fluffy. You know, some of the villagers used to call you that.”

His glare slid down to her again as he forced his low voice past thinned lips.

“Give me their names.”

“Never. Just thought you’d like to know.”

Kagome was incredibly pleased with herself, which meant he had to endure her silent gloating until he could think of a suitable retort.

He scowled to himself as he turned his  thoughts inward, and tried not to focus on the way she was  practically skipping.

Oh well. At least it was quiet.

“ Mukotsu ,” he finally mentioned, after arguably way too long.

“Who?”

“He poisoned you. Had you in a fairly compromised position, if I recall. Had I not arrived when I had, you would likely be raising the ugliest humans born to date. And the competition is stiff.”

She remembered that day well, despite her best efforts to repress it. She suppressed a shudder as she conjured up images of the unattractive poison master, and what he intended to do with her.

“Come to think of it, I often need to save you from assault,”  Sesshoumaru realized accurately. Like, disturbingly accurately. He became thoughtful. “Perhaps I could marry you off to the highest bidder. Then, you would be his duty.”

Gods, his amused little smirk was so fucking obnoxious.

“Hey, no one is making you stay,” she pointed out before a devious smile played upon her lips. “I think you kind of like being the knight in shining armor.”

Thoroughly offended, he scoffed and turned his gaze  elsewhere .

“No, it's true. Just think; The Terrible Lord Sesshoumaru, taking time out of his busy day - brushing his hair and stroking his fluff – to jump in and rescue poor helpless human girls. Do you get off on that? Stepping in and showing everyone what a real man looks like?”

Her suggestive question had her stepping closer, and he found himself inexplicably rattled that she would imply such a thing.

But then he remembered she was only trying to get a rise out of him.

“You are anything but helpless. That is the problem. One burst of your purity and the match would be over. Yet, you take me away from others who need my assistance, just to play damsel in distress.” He drew close to her this time, because turnabout was fair play. He lowered his voice for effect, and nearly made her shiver when his hot breath danced across her ear. “I think, for all of your talk of independence and equality, that you enjoy being shown what a real man looks like. Even though I have only been one for a handful of weeks.”

And then he withdrew, pleased to have the woman successfully shaken.

“You are not even terrible with a bow,” he threw in generously, and she beamed at the compliment. Until he tacked on an addendum. “Anymore.”

She glared as that annoying little smirk returned to his  handsome face, and she let him walk ahead.

“Shot your ass,” she muttered.

“Yet, here I stand.”

“Yeah, I’m regretting my aim more every day,” she said as her glare sharpened. Too bad he wasn’t looking her way to receive it.

“Besides, it’s not like you have a long list of females waiting to be saved. So far, it's just me, and those two ladies from that village den.”

She caught up to him again, and he finally deigned to  acknowledge her.

“At least they knew how to offer proper thanks. So very rude,  miko .”

Her hands flew to her chest in a sarcastic show of gratitude.

“Oh, yes. Thank you  _ so _ much for saving my virtue. Can I offer it to you on a platter? After all, it’s just a prize to be won by the most capable man, isn’t it? Is that what you are looking for? Is that why you help people?”

Insulted at her insinuation, he creased his brow at her menacingly.

“If you recall, I turned down those ladies’ very generous offer.”

“Only because I asked you to.”

“Indeed. And why was that again?” he demanded she recall. But instead, she dismissively shrugged and turned away from him.

“Why did you appease me? I don’t know. Maybe you’ve got a soft spot for me.”

Before she could react, he had her back pressed up against the tree they were passing. Blue eyes flew wide in surprise as he used his sturdy hips to press her firmly into the bark.

He had a palm flat against the tree on either side of her face, effectively caging her in. When he lowered himself to place his face within an inch of hers, she felt a pleasurable ache awaken between her legs.

“I’ll show you soft.”

She made a move to untangle herself from him, but to no avail. His body was hard and unmoving. And she really didn’t have the will to remove him.

“No,” he insisted, pressing himself into her even more firmly. “Why did you insist I refrain? Remind me.”

Ever since leaving that mansion a while back, she had been acting like nothing at all had occurred between them. As if he would just forget how soft, and willing she had been when she melted against his lips and tongue.

He understood why she did not wish to  pursue things further, and he would respect her decision. But ever since arriving in the Northern Lands, her behavior had drastically altered.

He hadn’t missed the looks she had been giving him. The longing stares. The increase of contact. The suggestive innuendos. Not to mention the jealousy around other females.

It was almost as if she still desired to be his. If so, he was more than willing to indulge her.

But after insinuating that she may wish to offer herself, she would recant just as quickly. Pull back, as if to deny any lingering attachment. It was very confusing.

Clearly, things had been left unfished between them. But she infuriatingly insisted on pretending there had never been any sort of attraction.

It was time to remind her.

“Because it was a stupid idea,” she insisted, refusing to  acknowledge that they’d already been around this particular block before.

“Not for the monk. Why did you not care if he slept with those women, if the idea of me doing the same offended you so?”

She glared up at him, long since given up on trying to squirm out of his hold. Instead, she placed her hands on his hips only to push against him very lightly; a pathetic, unconvincing attempt at  resistance .

“Miroku is used to that kind of stuff. I don’t think you can handle it.”

“Oh, is that so, virgin Kagome?” he asked, mockery dripping from his tone.

“It is, human virgin  Sesshoumaru .”

The sinister grin he gave her had her squeezing her thighs together.

“You know, we could remedy both of our shortcomings very easily. Perhaps you wish to see exactly what I can handle.”

She looked up into his evil smile, and offered one of her own.

“Perhaps...”

She relished as she saw his eyes widen a fraction; she’d managed to startle him. He certainly hadn’t been expecting that sort of reaction to his threat.

“C’mon you two!! We’re losing daylight...”  Miroku’s warning shout could be heard in the unseen distance ahead.

Kagome took advantage of his distraction by dislodging herself from him, and ducking under his still planted arm.

“See, there I go. Taking valuable time away from a girl who really needs help.” She brushed the bark off her ass as he straightened back to full height. “Maybe we should focus on finding Rin, instead of trying to conquer my virginity.”

She began trudging forward, and he was quick to follow.

“I can do both.”

She turned to look over her shoulder to see he was no longer taunting. The intent  look in his eyes made that very clear.

She held his gaze meaningfully, as she appeared to size him up.

“Her first. Then, we’ll see.” She turned back around, only to be called after once more.

“Miko.” His firm command made her stop, and she spun slowly to see him cautiously approach. He looked like he was stalking prey. “You are under no obligation to grant me any favors, regardless if it would be the polite thing to do.” She rolled her eyes at that. 

“But if you have no intention of seeing these vague promises through, you can at least stop standing in the way of any other who might enjoy the experience.” He gestured to himself as he stopped short of touching her. “If you would like to be my first in this form, I will gladly make it so. But if you do not, I would kindly ask you to stop being a tease and step aside.”

His request was intense and clear, just like he always was. And inspired by his confidence, she finally opted to tell him exactly what she wanted.

“Hey, if you want to go get it where you can manage, be my guest. Have at it.”

She smiled then, stepping forward to close the last bit of space between them, and ran her hand up his chest, to his shoulder.

“But if you would rather share the experience with me, you are going to have to be patient and keep it in your pants around other women.” His hand reflexively went to her hip, and he altered between looking to where she was touching him, and the determined sparkle in her captivating eyes. 

“I’m not ready yet. But I will be.” Her free hand rose to caress his cheek, and it was all he could do not to lean into her touch. He felt himself quickly losing the upper hand in this exchange. “And when I am, if you have been a good, loyal boy, I will give myself to you.” He rose his gaze to hers, and felt all his blood rush south at the insinuation. Her boldness was such an incredible turn on. 

Both his hands were on her hips now, and his face was inching closer as his eyes became  fixated on her tempting little mouth. But she pulled away.

“But I don’t want to be with a man who can’t control himself long enough to wait for me. It's up to you. I understand if you can’t handle that, but that’s how it is for me.”

And then she released him, as if she could take or leave him. As if walking away was as simple as that.  Apparently it was, as she untangled herself from his hold and did exactly that.

She began to continue onward to close some distance between her and her friends, but once again he stalked behind her; intent and intense as he prowled.

“What kind of  miko are you?” he wondered, making her smile to herself. “And what kind of woman to initiate such a challenge? You do not know whom you are dealing with.” He approached her side, and dipped his head low to let his hot breath caress her ear and neck once again. “You better just hope that when you can no longer take it, when you crawl to me on your hands and knees begging for me to take you, that I will still find you as intriguing. I can wait forever,  miko . Can you?”

When his tongue made light contact with the edge of her ear, a violent shiver rocked through her form. She had to stop walking to retain her balance, and the mocking smirk she had worn was reduced to a startled, incredulous gasp.

He smiled in victory, not relinquishing his proximity.

“Just remember, it was only a few short weeks ago that you lusted after the half breed,” he reminded her huskily. “I hope for your sake you are not as fickle as you seem. For I can guarantee that the next fool you fancy will not handle you as well as I can.”

And then he removed himself from her, and forged on ahead.

Gathering herself quickly, she mourned her loss of control.

“Pretty cocky for a virgin,” she grumbled to him hotly.

With a sharp glare over his shoulder, he responded in kind.

“Likewise.”

* * *

It had only taken another day to reach the suspension bridge.

A high platform on the east side of the mountain wasn’t quite at the top, but it wasn’t very far off. From there, the bridge seemed to go on endlessly. But off in the distance, on the other side was their destination. The tigers’ province.

And beyond that, the human village. And somewhere beyond that, the compound. They were close enough to taste it.

But still oh, so far.

The bridge was old, and had obviously seen better days. The length spanned over a roaring river far below, but also several rocky cliffs and  crevasses that decorated the hillsides running down to the vast canyon.

One wrong step, and it would be over.

“Man, that thing looks shady as fuck,”  Inuyasha said as they peered wearily across the great valley.

“I do not like the looks of it either,”  Miroku agreed. They had finally made it; were standing right on the edge. In a few steps, they would be on the bridge that would take them to where they were going.

But excitement was at a record low.

“If only  Kirara wasn’t injured, we could take turns flying across.” Unfortunately, as Sango lamented, their sweet kitten demon was out for the count.

They had managed to avoid any menacing youkai on their journey. Aside from a few harmless, lower level woodland demons; bats, birds, bugs... nothing that meant them any harm, therefor warranted no conflict.

But they did encounter a touch of the demon magic they had heard about.

Unfortunately, their only full demon was the one to prove  its existence .

An animal trap, not unlike the one Kagome had barely avoided during her deer hunt, had been laid beside the trail. It wasn’t as large as  the one the  miko almost stepped in, but still caused a good deal of damage to the poor little fire cat who waltzed within its clutches.

It was confirmed that  the magic  camouflaged the trap to demons, because after becoming ensnared,  Inuyasha had been unable to see what was afflicting the unlucky cat.

She hadn’t seen it either, and apparently  Inuyasha’s demon blood was enough to activate the magic and  shield the trap from his view. None of the humans had any issue seeing it, and frantically worked to remove her from its grip.

Her leg, and part of her tail had been brutally injured. She was a demon, so she should have been able to withstand the damage, or at least heal quickly. But it appeared that the magic also had a component which caused extra harm to the demons they  ensnared .

Sango held the kitten to her chest, cooing and consoling her as she mewed in obvious pain.  Sesshoumaru assured her that the village they were heading to would be able to heal her.

“It would still present a risk,” he reminded them. “If any of the scouts saw us, they would be waiting for us when we arrived.”

They had been warned against flying here, but if she was well, it was likely they would have opted to chance it.

“But they  ain’t gonna notice the five of us walking across this long, dangerous bridge?”  Inuyasha’s question was valid. If they had scouts monitoring the perimeter,  surely they had eyes on the one bridge into town.

“They will assume we are in their employ,”  Sesshoumaru rationally explained. “The humans who live in those lands may come and go as they please. Should anyone ask, simply invent a profession.”

“Like what?”  Miroku asked, earning a flat look from the Western Lord.

“You may pretend you are a capable monk.”

“I’m wounded!”

“It does not matter what you say.” He then turned to the woman cradling the slightly mangled cat. “However, I would advise against divulging that you are a demon slayer, or anything of the like. You work for demons, that is all they need to know.”

Sango nodded in understanding, but  Inuyasha’s focus remained on the daunting rope bridge before them.

“That’s a long way down. Maybe we should find another way.” If it were just him, he was certain he could survive the fall. But any of the others would be goners for sure. It was very risky.

Understanding the reluctance,  Sesshoumaru pursed his lips and pointed to the other side.

“The village lays right across this bridge, and beyond that forest. It is the quickest path by far. There is a way to go around, but the river provides many complications. It would take several days to find our way over without the bridge.”

“ Kirara is in pain,” Sango immediately countered. “I’ve got to get her to that village where she can get some help. I’m going.”

She determinedly strode forward, but  Miroku’s urgent voice stopped her cold.

“Sango, wait!”

She did, turning to hear the man out.

“I will go first.”

“Miroku-”

“Allow me to test its mettle,” he implored. “When we are certain it is safe, follow after me.” He exchanged meaningful eye contact with both Sango and  Inuyasha . When both remained silent, he took it as permission.

“Be careful,” said Sango, not hiding the plea in her tone. Even though they’d been through some rough times, she would always care about him. Would always love him.

“Don’t worry,” he replied breezily, perhaps downplaying the gravity of the situation. But then, what good would additional fretting do? He smiled his charming smile. “All this traveling has helped me lose a few pounds. This bridge won't even know I’m on it.”

The others were uncertain, but none saw fit to interfere. He gathered himself, and prepared to depart. But before he did, he turned to the demon slayer.

“Perhaps a kiss for good luck?” he asked hopefully, only to meet  Inuyasha’s threatening scowl as he pulled his woman away from the notorious lecher.

“You know what you can kiss.”

“Are you sure?” he tried  again; this time turned toward the miko. “This may be your last chance...”

Surprising everyone, Kagome pressed forward and took the monk’s cheek in her hand. She raised up on her tip toes to gently press her lips to his opposite cheek, and whispered something  unintelligible into his ear.

Softening incredibly, he offered her a warm, grateful smile, and without another word turned to make the trip across.

Though none of them spoke, their anxiety was palpable. They watched on baited breath as he took every step further out onto the bridge.

He continued to move bravely, even though each step forward caused the unreliable bridge to shake and swing.

He gripped the sides of the rope walls for balance, and often had to step wide to bypass fallen planks which created gaps; some even large enough to fall through.

“It’s got to be a mile long,” Kagome observed nervously. Her eyes never left the motivated young monk.  Errantly , she realized he still had her backpack on his shoulders. He had offered to carry it for her as she began to get more winded near the top, and she worried the extra weight would cause him trouble.

‘He probably took it so I didn’t have to.’

When he passed the halfway point, Sango became tired of waiting. Steeling her resolve, she clutched  Kirara closer to her breast and ensured her boomerang was secured tightly to her back.

“It seems sturdy enough. I’m going.”

“I’m going with you,”  Inuyasha demanded, following her to the bridge.

“No. We shouldn’t add too much weight. Wait until I’m halfway.” The firm look in her eyes brooked no room for argument, and he never felt so helpless.

He knew his woman was strong, and stubborn. There was no point in pulling rank. She wouldn’t listen anyway.

He wanted to go first, make sure it was safe enough. But they were all going to have to cross eventually, and he still had Kagome to look after.

Terrified and resolved, he pulled her tightly to him, careful so as not to cause the injured kitten any more discomfort.

“Kami, be careful.” He demanded, fighting down the fear that was threatening to consume him. “I love you.” It was said in a whisper, but they all heard it. By the way Sango’s eyes widened, it appeared to be the first time he had made the confession. She smiled then, and returned the sentiment.

“I love you too.”

Pulling back, they poured all their emotions into a lingering gaze, and then he pressed forward, and poured more through his lips.

Kagome’s heart broke at the raw show of emotion. When he was through,  Inuyasha gave a comforting, sympathetic pat on the little demon’s head. She mewed her acceptance.

And then Sango was off, unwilling to waste more time or let her fears take hold. She moved faster than  Miroku had. His experimental steps bolstered enough confidence to speed through the process a little faster. She had the added incentive of cradling an injured pet, but she also just wanted to be over and done with it.

He was about three quarters the way when she approached the halfway mark. That was when she slowed, and let him regain a little distance so as to disperse their combined weight.

There was a collective sigh of relief when he finally made it across. And not a second later did  Inuyasha encourage Kagome to begin.

He wanted to go after Sango, but decided he  couldn't leave Kagome behind. Eager and impatient, he turned back to his friend.

“You go first, Kagome,” he coaxed sternly. His eyes kept cutting over to view Sango’s progress. She was at about the  three-quarter mark now herself.

Peering over the edge, she felt herself begin to tremble, and closed her eyes tight to prevent  vertigo from coming on.

“Uh, no... you go. Make sure she makes it okay.”

His head snapped back to her, assessing as best he could.

“Are you alright?” he asked, concern present in his tone.

“Fine. Just  kinda ... don’t like heights.” He gave her a worried look. “But I’ll be fine! I just, need a moment.”

He was eager to get to Sango, who he was relieved to see had just made it to the other side. He was uncomfortable leaving Kagome behind, but at least  Sesshoumaru was there.

Hopefully, after he made it, she would gain a little more confidence. He pulled her to him tightly.

“Okay, but be careful. I love you too.”

She just squeezed him back, too focused on the tightness in her chest to respond properly. When they  separated , he still held a firm grip on upper arms, but he leaned around her to address his half-brother who watched on passionlessly.

“Do not leave her behind,” he  commanded with a scowl.

The cold glare  Sesshoumaru returned him more than matched it.

“Do not insult me.” The  stare down lasted several long seconds, until  Inuyasha was rightly satisfied. He still didn’t trust his brother fully, but he discovered that he trusted him with Kagome.

With a single nod, he released her, and set off to make it over.

Impatient and eager, he opted to bound across. He would leap several planks at a time with no caution or timidity, causing Kagome’s heart to lodge in her throat.

“He’s stomping too hard. Look how much its swinging.” Knowing she was to depart once he made it halfway, she grew increasingly nervous when he crossed the quarter way mark.

Sesshoumaru frowned as he looked at the terrified young woman. He’d never seen her so rattled.  Visibly shaking, he worried if she could walk with enough poise to make it safely.

“We can go around,” he suggested. Though he would admit it was not ideal. Still, if she was so worried about it, he would be remiss to force her. There was little the miko was afraid of. It was unsettling to see her in such a state.

She turned to look up at him, determination beating out distress.

“And split up? No way.”

“They know the rendezvous point. They will wait.” He placed a firm hand on her arm, assuring her of his presence.

“No, I’m just being  paranoid.  I’ll be fine.” Her assurances seemed to be for her as much as him. “ Kirara can’t wait. Neither can Rin.”

She wasn’t wrong. Going around would set them back terribly. But none of that would matter if they fell to their deaths.

“Besides, that lecher still has my backpack. I don’t trust him around my underwear.” The weak smile she offered him encouraged one of his own.

“Neither do I.”

Inuyasha approached the halfway point, and she drew a deep breath.

“Okay, I’m going.”

When she reached the edge, she paused. She willed herself not to look down. But when she looked out, she found the length of the bridge did little to allay her fears. She decided she would need to simply look where she was stepping, and block out anything else.

“Kagome...” She turned at  the gentle call of her name. Witnessing the previous couple’s heartfelt admissions, she longed for a similar sendoff. But she knew it was a tall order, especially from him.

They had grown closer, but they were not lovers. Little more than friends. But that had been quite a feat in itself.

She saw him struggling with himself. There was more to say, they both knew it. But making a heartfelt confession now would be planning for failure. They still had time.

She saw the concern in his eyes, and that was enough for her.

“Wish me luck,” she finally ordered. He complied.

“Good luck.”

He wanted more. He wanted to pull her to him. To kiss her. To give her assurance. To comfort them both. But something held him back. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak.

“I’ll see you over there,” she said with a smile, and her nerves appeared to melt away for a moment.

Then a startled yell in the distance caused them both to snap their heads.

He’d misjudged his step. Either that, or one of the planks decided to give. Either way,  Inuyasha’s legs were dangling under the bridge. His arms were the only thing holding him up and  the bridge was now at his chest.

His demon strength was likely the only thing keeping him from dropping to his death, but he was still struggling for purchase.

“ Inuyasha !!” Kagome screamed, and she took off running.

Sesshoumaru was too late in reaching for her to prevent her from going, and she was out of his grasp.

He  briefly considered not following; afraid of his added weight compromising the bridge. But that thought quickly subsided as instinct had him chasing after her.

Sango placed down  Kirara , and started to double back form the safety of the platform. But  Miroku’s firm grasp prevented her from returning to him.

She struggled with the monk, who used all he had to restrain her. But when  Inuyasha yelled his command not to come for him, it caused her to halt.

“Stay back! It’s too much  weight !” he ordered, but she continued to resist. “Dammit, Sango, stay there!” The command from her alpha and lover was difficult to obey, but with tears in her eyes, she allowed the monk to hold her back.

He could feel the bridge shaking more violently as he continued to attempt to pull himself up. Though he couldn’t see, he shouted back knowingly.

“Kagome! Stay back. I can get myself up.”

But she didn’t listen.

“Kagome, god dammit! I said stay back!”

She made it a good quarter way when  Sesshoumaru finally caught up to her. Grabbing her arm tightly, he began to drag her back.

She struggled to get out of his grip, but he only held her tighter to himself. Giving up on pulling her, he settled for holding her in place. She continued to fight against him as tears burned her eyes.

“I’m up!”  Inuyasha announced, and they snapped their heads over verify. Sure enough, he was back on his feet, and Kagome let out a breath of pure relief. But it was short lived.

With an unexpected jerk, one of the upper ropes snapped.

The right side of the bridge became suddenly became slack. The bottom rope still held tight, along with both on the left, but without both sides holding them up, the planks beneath their feet began to lose their stability.

The planks were still  sturdy enough to walk on, but wobbly and uneven. The entire right handrail was now useless, dangling limply below them.

Without a  moment's hesitation ,  Sesshoumaru grabbed her hand tightly, and ran as fast as he could back the way they had come. He was pulling her so hard it felt like her shoulder would dislocate. But he ignored her screams of pain and her resistance as he focused only on getting them back across.

He knew without the support of the upper  rope, the whole right side would soon give. He had to get them off this bridge before the entire thing collapsed.

Inuyasha was coming up behind them. He could have made it across, but he had to make sure Kagome was alright. He dashed back, using his inhuman speed to leap and bound along the increasingly unreliable wood planks under his feet. He could feel the tension begin to slack.

He felt when he landed too hard. The impact caused the lower right rope to finally snap from the strain, and the whole right side of the bridge finally gave out. The other side remained strong, but the planks now dangled uselessly sideways, opening up the floor for them to fall to their deaths. He watched several loose boards flitter down into the endless depths below.

He shouted for Kagome again, panicked not to see her up ahead. He now hung from both hands, terrified that she fell, and a sickening sense of dread flooded through his tired form.

But then he noticed his brother. He had her. They were close to the edge. They’d nearly made it. But just like him, Sesshoumaru was hanging by his own two hands, though he had the added burden of the miko grasping desperately to him for dear life.

She hung onto his waist, squeezing him with all she had, while his death grip on the remaining rope had his knuckles turning white. Inuyasha began to put one arm in front of the other, like swinging from monkey bars he used his demon strength to carry him over to the other side. He refused to look down; using all his might and determination to get over to his friend.

“Hang on Kagome!” he alerted them as he took himself closer. “I’m coming!”

She was too high on adrenaline to hear. To cry. To even think. Only instinct had her arms wrapped tightly around  Sesshoumaru with her eyes squeezed painfully shut.

“Do not let go,” he commanded her, much more calmly than was warranted. “And do not look down.” But he didn’t listen to his own advice. Looking down to the woman who had attached herself to him during the fall, he looked past their hanging bodies to the canyon deep below. 

He couldn’t even see the true bottom. If she slipped, if he let go... she would not survive.

She wasn’t very heavy. He could probably use his hands to take them the last few feet to the mountainside. But he worried the turbulence might compromise her grip. If only he could lift her, if only she could climb up him just a little to secure herself around his neck... but what else could he do?

The remaining ropes would not hold out much longer with them hanging like this. His hands would not hold them up forever. Cursed weak human bodies.

He was tempted to ask her if she could scramble up his form, but he worried that once she released her grip, she would not be able to hold on again. He began to wonder if he should chance releasing one of his hands to attempt to pull her up when he caught the sight of red coming quickly on his right.

His hopes renewed. If  Inuyasha had been able to carry himself all this way, perhaps he was strong enough to lift her.

“ Inuyasha . Can you pull her up one-handed?”

He was right beside them now, close enough to touch.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, “but I  can't pull us across with only one arm.”

“Lift her. Get her arms around my neck.” After his clear command,  Sesshoumaru addressed the frighteningly silent woman at his hips.

“Kagome.  Inuyasha is going to pull you. When you are high enough, wrap your arms around my neck tightly. Can you do that?”

“Okay.” He heard her detached voice clearly over the distant sound of the roaring river below. He tried to block it out.

Releasing his one hand from the rope above,  Inuyasha used it to grab a tight fistful of Kagome’s jacket. Quickly as he could, he dragged her up his brother’s body. For just a moment,  Inuyasha was the only thing keeping Kagome on that bridge, and it was terrifying. She tried not to think about the weightless feeling, and as soon as he held her above  Sesshoumaru’s back, she clamored desperately for him until she could put him in somewhat of a chokehold.

As soon as she found purchase,  Inuyasha released her and grabbed onto the rope again.

“Wrap your legs around me,”  Sesshoumaru immediately demanded. The task was fairly easy; she managed to hook her ankles around his torso and he reaffirmed his grip. More confident of her hold on him, he finally attempted to inch himself forward. Rather than swinging one hand over the other like an ape, he slid his fists a bit at a time until they were finally pressed against the cliff’s edge.

His arms burned. His shoulders burned. The strain was outstanding, but he forced himself to put any pain out of his mind and just focused on moving forward. Those few feet felt like miles. The sweat was making it harder to get a grip.

Inuyasha was right behind them; forced to move slowly to accommodate the human’s speed.

When at last  Sesshoumaru got them to the other side, he remained holding on, pressing his body as tightly as possible against the mountainside.

“Dismount, Kagome,” he ordered. Then, as an afterthought, “carefully.”

She scrambled to get a foothold, against the mountainside, against  Sesshoumaru ... where ever she could.  Inuyasha reached over to grab a handful of her clothing once more. He had to bend awkwardly around his brother, but he needed the insurance.

Clawing and scraping, she finally made it over the top. She crawled inland a couple feet, and finally collapsed heavily on her back.

Immediately,  Sesshoumaru pulled himself over the edge, followed by his brother who perhaps had the most graceful dismount of the three. Once over the top,  Sesshoumaru grabbed Kagome by the arm and dragged her a good few more feet inland before collapsing on his back beside her.

Heavy breathing accompanied her racing heart, as  sobless tears streamed down her face. She was in far too much shock to do anything else.

Inuyasha fell on his back beside his brother, both of them sucking in big greedy breaths as their hearts attempted to return to normal.

They laid like that for a good few minutes, letting the chaos in their minds calm before finally finding a sitting position again. The brothers stared off at the bridge, still hanging only halfway, swaying from the recent trauma it had endured.

On the other side, they could see Miroku and Sango, and the flightless Kirara, but it was too far to communicate, or make out facial expressions.

Falling onto his back once more,  Sesshoumaru finally turned to the shell-shocked woman on his right.

He was furious with her. How dare she run out there like that. How dare she put them all in danger. And all for that hanyou.

Did she have no faith in his abilities? Had she not interfered, perhaps the bridge would have held.

How dare she put herself in danger.  Surely she knew he would follow.  Surely she knew he would not simply let her go. She would endanger both their lives to save a half breed who was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. She would risk his life to save his brother’s.

Though he supposed he already knew that. It should not be a surprise.

But her lack of concern for herself was most upsetting. He should lay into her.

But it took too much energy to be cross with her. Energy he did not have at the moment.

It was much easier to be relieved, and grateful that she was okay. That they all were.

Seeing her still frozen stiff with traumatic fear, he reached for her with his arm. His hands were burned, bleeding, and blistered. His muscles strained and sore. But when he pulled her against him, she offered no resistance. And as he held her against his chest and ran his fingers over her living, breathing form, he could only revel in his good fortune.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are encouraging and help me write faster. Thanks to all those who took the time to write them. 


	21. A River Runs Through It

After scaling their second mountain in as many days, the trio was growing weary. 

They now needed to reach the tigers’ province without the help of the bridge, and the landscape was proving very disobliging. 

The mountains were hard enough to traverse; seeing as there were dozens of them, and not many were accommodating enough to allow for suitable passage. But the wide, rushing river that divided the territories was so large and brutal that it basically served as a moat, for all intents and purposes. Kagome could see why they’d chosen the location for a compound. It was a highly defendable property, to the point of seeming like it were a code that needed cracking. Or some kind of messed up maze. 

She could also see why humans didn’t venture this far out. 

As far as Sesshoumaru could gather, there were two possible ways they would be able to journey over by foot. The first being a pathway that curled around the edge of the territory. If they found it, they would be able to gain access to the province via a stretch of land that would take them to the side of the property. But they had to get their landmarks just right, and cross some rugged, mountainous canyons first to get to the other side. This had been deemed the long way. 

The second, was that there was a small portion of the river which narrowed substantially, but only for a short distance. The bulk of the river was far too wide and wild to simply doggy paddle across, and they obviously had no mode of transportation. But if they could locate this thin stretch of water, it would be possible to cross it without much effort or risk. After crossing, they would find themselves a short climb away from the village they were seeking. This had been deemed the wet way. 

Seeing as time was very much a factor, and they had their companions nervously awaiting their arrival, it was agreed that dryness would be sacrificed in favor of efficiency. 

But first, they had to get over this damn mountain range. And so far, every route they had taken had led them to some sort of impasse. They needed to find the correct trails, let alone be on the right mountain. As of now, they were only about 60% sure they had the latter nailed. 

But with each dead-end trail they discovered, they were placing their instincts further into question. At this point, it felt like they were operating under process of elimination. And though all were doing their damnedest not to put voice to their discouragement, it was obvious the constant failure was starting to take its toll. 

“Will you finally admit to leading us astray?” 

Once they’d made it off the first mountain – the one with the shoddy bridge – Kagome eagerly snatched the map and began devising a plan. 

She had her trusty compass, and more than a little practice finding her way through the woods. When shown where the section of river they were looking for lie, she was confident she could get them there with minimal difficulty. 

It looked pretty straight forward on the map. And as none of them had ever been to this area before, she figured that one guess was as good as another. 

“It wasn’t astray when we started. That stupid mountain took us somewhere we didn’t want to go.” 

Unfortunately, the map was misleading. What looked like a straight shot over the mountain was rife with perils ranging from undisclosed drop offs to avalanche debris. Perhaps even an earthquake or two had rendered the area impossible for man to scale. 

So, not for the first time, and after another full day of hiking, they were forced to turn around and come up with a new plan on the fly. 

“So, it is the mountain’s stupidity that is to blame?” Sesshoumaru asked the navigator, as she claimed a seat on a toppled tree. 

“No, don’t be ridiculous.” She pulled off her sneaker and emptied the rocks she had collected on their upward trek. Brushing the dirt off her sock, she repeated the process with the other shoe. 

“Then whom?” he pressed, looming near as she got resituated. 

Inuyasha had scampered off, assumedly to relieve himself. 

“It's the compass’s fault.” She pulled the map from her back pocket to look over for the millionth time. Once she did, he claimed the seat at her side. 

“Ah, your magnet tool is to blame.” He leaned over to join her in attempting to make sense of their most recent failure. 

“Yes. We wanted to go east. I took us east. It’s not my fault this stupid compass didn’t know the mountain would force us north.” 

To be fair, the route looked good on paper. But experience told him they might have more obstacles than advertised. It was an honest error, but one that had cost them a day’s travel. 

“So the mountain is stupid, and your compass is stupid. And what of the fool who follows them?” 

“A victim of circumstance,” she insisted, doing her best to correct this as quickly as possible. “Besides, you were following me, so it doesn’t speak well of you either.” 

“I rather insisted we go around the mountain. Yet, I was shot down immediately, in favor of the compass.” He was quick to remind her of that. He was not impressed with the human device that she seemed to put so much faith in. His internal compass had never steered him wrong before. And though not as accurate without his demonic youki, he maintained that his instincts were still fit to be trusted. 

“Look. We went the right way. There was just... too much stuff in the way.” 

Inuyasha returned, wary of interjecting while they were going at it. 

Though frustrations were doubtless very high, they had each done well at keeping their tempers in check. He knew how they liked to deal with frustration. So as long as heads remained cool, he was willing to let them get it out of their system. 

But things were growing dire. They had already spent one night on a mountainside. Two, if you counted the first one when they were still all together. It looked like now they would be forced to do so again. And without Kagome’s backpack, water and food and fires were much harder to come by. He would be forced to hunt. 

“If we cannot get where we want to go, then it was not the right way.” 

“How was I supposed to know? I followed the compass.” Sesshoumaru watched as she turned the thing about in her grip, and resisted the urge to rip it out of her hands and throw it as far as he could manage. 

Luckily, he had more self-control than that, for now. 

“Oh, I don’t know,” he intoned sarcastically, and she braced for impact. “Perhaps you should have listened to the only one of us to have crossed these borders? Though this area is beyond my patrol, I am aware of the various natural boundaries which form these lands. It does not take a genius to-” 

“Okay, I get it,” she finally snapped back at him. “I fucked up. Happy?” 

“Hardly.” Now that that was out of the way, he plucked the map from her to peruse for himself. 

“What do we do now?” she asked meekly, and Inuyasha finally crossed over to join them. 

“Our options, from what I can gather, are as follows: We continue north on this path,” he pointed to the fork in the trail that had foiled them. “Which will likely take us deeper through the vast range of mountains. I have never been through them, and do not know what awaits on the other side. Or how long it will take.” 

“Or?” Inuyasha prompted, leaning in to try and see better. 

“We get down to the river. We can make it by nightfall. But then we need a boat. And unless we get incredibly lucky, I doubt we will find one.” Luck was not something either of them were banking on at the moment. “Constructing one will take another day, but then we need to cross the river where it is not particularly forgiving. That’s at least two nights sleeping in the cold, and very likely wet. But once we cross, I am confident I will know where we are going.” 

“Or?” Kagome asked this time, very wary of the answer. 

“Or, we simply turn around the way we came. It means we spend a night on the mountain, lose another day, and end up where we started. But at least we will know where we are. It is the safest bet.” 

None of them had much experience simply taking the safest path. The motto ‘gamble big, win big’ had served them all relatively well. 

But they’d been on a losing streak recently. And though statistically due for a win, the burn of their losses were still painfully fresh. The kami were speaking, and they were willing to take the hint. 

“I hate the thought of losing all that time,” Inuyasha admitted. He was not alone in that sentiment. “More will be lost if we encounter any problems going forward.” 

There were no attractive options here. Kagome decided that maybe it was time to think outside the box. 

“Inuyasha can go ahead,” she suggested. That was another unattractive option. But it might be their best bet. 

Without she and Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha could get himself over faster, and find their friends. Then, they would at least know they were okay. And maybe they could find help. 

“Alone?” he asked pensively. She knew it would be a hard sell to get him to leave her. But she wouldn’t be by herself. 

“Go ahead,” she implored. “Find Miroku and Sango. Get someone in the village to lend you a boat, then meet us by the river. The two of us will walk and when you get back, we will row over.” Someone over there had to have a boat, and she was confident that Miroku could charm them out of it. The river would still be dicey, but it would definitely hold up better than whatever whack canoe they could fashion with a hunting knife rush job. 

But Inuyasha shook his head. 

“I ain’t leavin’ you.” Kagome deflated. “Come with me. I’ll carry you on my back, and we’ll come back for him.” She was about to protest, but she never got the chance. 

“Inuyasha is right.” Her head whipped to the side to stare incredulously at Sesshoumaru. “He can take you over to your friends, and I will find shelter here.” 

Now it was Kagome’s turn to protest. 

“No. It's my fault we’re lost.” 

“Yes. It is. Will you listen to me now?” At this point she was loathe to defy him, but her distaste for this plan made it impossible to agree. He gentled his tone, and tried to sound commanding. Not that it ever worked with her before. “Go. I will manage.” 

It seemed that for once, the brothers were united on this one. But she couldn’t make herself adhere. She dug in her heels. 

“I’m not leaving you.” 

Sesshoumaru sighed, prepared to fight her on this. 

“Yeah, me either.” 

He snapped his head nervously to his brother. He saw himself quickly losing ground and tried to remain firm. 

“Inuyasha-” 

“No. We’ll just go back the way we came. It’s better not to split up.” 

He wasn’t happy about it, but it seemed like it was settled. 

Resigned, Sesshoumaru stood, and wordlessly made his way back down the path. The others scrambled to follow. 

He was done indulging her for now. Done with well-meaning mikos, and magnet tools, he was determined to lead them around this particular mountain as he originally suggested. But dusk would soon be upon them. 

For now, he had to get them as far down the mountain as he could before dark. On the way, they’d be looking for a suitable place to bunker down for the night, and hopefully the methods and means to procure a meal. 

* * *

Unfortunately, Sesshoumaru’s plan hadn’t fared any better. The path around the mountain did not lead to the river, but rather another mountain. At this point, they had given up on looking for the thin stretch of river and were willing to settle for the river in any capacity. Had they decided to brave the rapids in the first place, they would have been over days ago, instead of tangled up in this never-ending labyrinth of canyons that was the Northern Mountain Range. 

Every time they thought they’d had it, the terrain had forced them in a direction that was both unintended and undesired. It seemed like every corner they turned was taking them further and further away from their goal. 

And they were getting weaker. 

Kagome couldn’t say how many days they’d been at it, or even how many mountains they’d been on. All she knew was that if it wasn’t for Inuyasha, they would probably be well on their way to starvation. They certainly wouldn't have the energy to walk. 

It was for that very reason he refused her constant request to go on without them. He could travel more ground than they could. But if he left them behind, they would have no means to feed themselves. Kagome still had her bow, and Sesshoumaru his knife. But these mountains were desolate. It seemed that not only did humans deem it unsuitable, but all forms of wildlife too. Not to mention demons. 

They decided it was a good thing that they hadn’t encountered any dangerous youkai, puma or otherwise. But there was an eerie sense of desertion. Like everyone else was already aware they couldn’t survive out here. 

Still, he knew that if he had listened to them days ago, he probably could have been back for them by now. But he wouldn’t leave them. Especially not tonight. 

They took a break from mountaineering once the green valley was spotted. Encased by the tallest cluster of mountains yet, the new growth shined like a beacon to the weary travelers. In addition to simply being isolated, the mountains were also steep. Inuyasha could fare just fine, but the humans were overtaxed to constantly be trudging up and down hills all day long. The valley was a nice break. 

But most importantly, there was grass. Grass meant there was water, and water meant there was probably food. With any luck, they could score an easy meal, and with even more luck, the river would be nearby. Kagome kept thinking she heard it off in the distance, but seeing as Inuyasha hadn‘t mentioned anything she was wondering if exhaustion wasn’t causing her to hallucinate. 

When they finally arrived, Kagome never thought she’d be so happy to see a swampy bog. They hadn’t found a drop to drink all day, and her lips felt like they were starting to curl up her teeth in dehydration. The water was mucky, but she had a little trick up her sleeve. 

She had to restrain herself from kneeling in the stuff, opting instead to crouch low and cup the dirty bog water in both of her hands. A blast of her reiki later, the water was purified, and she greedily gulped down the entirety of what she held. She repeated the process several times until Sesshoumaru finally approached and crouched down beside her. 

He marveled at the burst of cleansing light that shot through her palms and turned the swamp water into something you would find in a refreshing mountain spring. In the past, if he had been so close when she’d pulled something like that, his skin would have burned from the sheer proximity. It was wild to be so near to the power that would normally work to repel him with everything it had. 

She held her hands out in offering, and he met her eyes a moment before silently lowering his lips to drink what she made for him. He would also repeat the process several times, and she enjoyed the way his lips tickled her skin as he drained the last of each portion. 

Her simple gift would sustain him for another day at least, and he recognized that none other than her could have managed such a feat. Without her holy powers and generous spirit, he would have been forced to lap up mud water like a common dog, and likely take on some parasites in the process. It was humbling, and he was more than willing to drink out of the pretty girl’s hands. 

Inuyasha always refused. As a half demon, he didn’t need such considerations. Instead, he was scouring the grounds, looking for something nutritious to put in their stomachs. 

“Thank you,” Sesshoumaru deigned, once he’d had his fill. It was a great relief to feel moisture in his mouth again. 

“Of course,” she replied, and then they sat, side by side in the grass to get a little rest while they waited for their alpha to return. 

Bickering aside, an unspoken comradery had solidified between them. After the bridge incident, there was no question of their devotion to one another’s safety. They hadn’t spoken of it, but their determination to cross the mountains proved a fine distraction from the traumatizing event, and the flurry of emotions that roiled beneath the surface and clamored to be acknowledged. 

But with each failure, their confidence was eroding. It was only a matter of time before they were spotted, and the likelihood the encounter would be friendly did not seem high. 

“You must convince him to go ahead.” She turned to see Sesshoumaru staring off into the valley.   
“We need to locate that river.” 

Inuyasha didn’t want to separate, and the constant assumption that their destination was just around the corner stifled their ability to concoct a long-term plan. 

“I tried; he won’t go for it. He won’t leave us.” 

“He won’t leave you.” She reluctantly met his gaze. She knew what he was going to suggest. “Go with him.” 

Inuyasha could carry her to the river, and likely find them a way across. As much as he loathed the idea of waiting to be rescued, he hated more the thought that he was holding them back. 

But Kagome was stubborn. 

“I already told you-” 

“You do me no favors by staying behind. With his speed, you will locate the river in no time. I am certain you will find the path. You may return for me then. I shall wait.”’ 

He wasn’t wrong. She was confident Inuyasha could eventually find the way. But the thought of leaving him behind was unpalatable. 

“We cannot continue like this. Your friends cannot wait forever, either.” 

She heard the plea in his tone. Begging didn’t suit him. 

She furrowed her brow in frustration, and sighed heavily into her chest. 

“If only I'd listened to you that first day.” 

“It would not have made a difference,” he quickly assured her. “My leadership brought us here as well.” 

It was true. The original route he had planned did not pan out, just like all the others. They’d tried every logical route so far, but none had brought them to the other side. It was maddening. 

“I shouldn’t have gone after him on the bridge.” She cradled her knees against her chest as she lamented into them sadly. 

Regret adorned her features as the consequences of her rash decision continued to weigh her down. 

“No.” He had to agree. He’d made his displeasure at her actions more than clear. But this extended side trip was the least of his concerns regarding her reckless choices. 

“If I’d only had faith in him...” She looked across the valley to see the hanyou in question had reemerged. From there, she could not see what he’d managed to capture for them. “But now look how much trouble I've caused.” 

He wanted to correct her behavior, and consequences proved quite effective in that regard. But she had the habit of beating herself up much more than was helpful. Despite agreeing with her, he softened his features and attempted to assuage. 

“You only wished to help.” 

She let out a light scoff and dropped her eyes to her lap. 

“And look where that got us.” 

“It is pointless to dwell on such things. Concentrate on fixing it.” It was all he was trying to get across. Mistakes are never in vain if they aid in self-improvement. You only are a failure if you let those things defeat you. He saw each crisis as an opportunity to flourish, and show resilience. He just hoped she learned her lesson. 

“Go with him,” he implored again. His brother was getting closer. “Find the river. Then return to me... If you desire.” 

Her eyes flew wide at the insinuation, and she became angry he would even imply that she would leave him behind. 

“Of course I do. I don’t even want to leave you.” Just the thought of it made her heart ache, and her stomach twist into knots. 

“But you must,” he insisted firmly. “Use your head, woman.” 

“As opposed to what?” He smirked at the inside joke, pleased her mood had lightened enough to tease him. 

Inuyasha was nearly upon them. It looked like they would be feasting upon mountain lizard tonight. Inwardly, she sighed. 

She didn’t want to listen. But defying him hadn’t been working out great for them so far. She didn’t like it, but she was going to have to relent and do as he’d asked. 

“I’ll do it tomorrow.” She stood to greet the half demon, brushing damp grass off her butt. He quickly followed suit. 

“No, do it now-” 

“No.” The sharp edge to her tone was unexpected, and intriguing. “Just trust me on this.” 

Something was off. He had gotten to know the woman’s various moods rather well, and there was something final in her voice and demeanor that spoke of deeper meaning. She was hiding something. 

“Why?” he asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head slightly to the side. She got the feeling she was being appraised. 

She turned to meet his eyes, right before Inuyasha came to present his kill. 

“You’ll see.” 

* * *

Sesshoumaru had been rather impressed with his companions thus far. Despite the harrowing setback, less than ideal conditions and frustrating barrage of dead ends, the three of them had managed to keep their wits about them and not turn on each other. 

Considering the brothers’ history, it was really quite remarkable. 

But Inuyasha had been getting progressively more pissy as the day went on. His comments were clipped – if he deigned to speak at all – but for the most part, he wore his irritable scowl with his hand on his hilt, and seemed to be looking over his shoulder at every turn. 

He was anticipating something. At first, Sesshoumaru thought perhaps his demon senses were picking up the scent of an enemy approaching. They were certainly due for a run in of some kind. But as the day wore on, and they made their way up the largest mountain they had encountered so far, he was beginning to believe it was something else. 

He was used to the whelp’s distrust of him; his disdain. But even though he had begun to relax slightly in his presence these days, his current behavior brought him back to a time when they couldn’t cross paths without sticking steel in each other’s faces. 

He wondered if he was going to need to fight him. 

But he had been acting icy toward the miko as well. Not as much as himself, but still to a degree that warranted his suspicion. Something odd was going on here, and with the miko’s cryptic warning back in the valley, he intended on asking him. 

Kagome, however, had other plans. She seemed to prefer just backing up and giving the boy some space. And in doing so, it put the full force of her attention and conversation on him. He had to admit, he wasn’t really minding that. 

“I did it! I did it!” Kagome clapped excitedly when the pile of wood and brush before them suddenly burst into flames and came to life. And not a moment too soon... 

The sun was beginning to set, and with the density of tall, leafy trees encompassing the plateau, it would not be long before it was nearly too dark to see. 

Sesshoumaru had rightly mocked her when she admitted she wouldn’t be able to start the fire without the aid of her matches which, unfortunately, were in her backpack with Miroku across the river. But it didn’t take much coaxing to get him to offer her a brief lesson in Wilderness Survival 101. 

Once they’d decided to make camp for the night on the large, level platform halfway up the enormous mountain, he took her on a mission to gather the necessary supplies and commenced their training. 

It took a bit of practice, but after about twenty minutes of snobby taunting and unladylike curses, the skewered lizard bodies caught earlier in the day were finally ready to cook. 

“There. You see.” Sesshoumaru couldn’t conceal his pride. Sure, it was relatively a simple, unimpressive thing. But her satisfaction was palpable. Absolutely infectious. And it was a nice respite from the grueling death march they’d been subjected to. Not to mention the increasingly sour mood of a certain unhappy camper. 

Inuyasha sat way off to the side. Hands in his sleeves and Tetsusaiga resting causally against his shoulder, he seemed to switch off between irritably glaring daggers at the couple, and pretending they didn’t exist. 

“I never started a fire without matches before! That was so cool.” She grabbed the prepared skewers and dug the pointy tips into the earth surrounding the flames to get a good roast going. They weren’t the most delicious of animals, but she’d definitely been subjected to worse. 

“I told you, it is not difficult.” He was slightly amused at how discouraged she had been at the get go. You’d think he insisted she learn to speak Chinese in a single evening. Her biggest obstacle tended to be herself more often than not. She was her own worst adversary, and a formidable one at that. If he could just rid her of that obnoxious, detrimental self-doubt, he would be eager to see what truly great feats she could accomplish. 

“Inuyasha! Did you see?” She asked her silent companion after sticking the last of the lizards into the dirt. Getting no reply, she tried again. 

“Inuyasha?” 

“Yeah, you started a fire, big deal,” he snapped. “I start fires all the time.” 

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes at the defensive young man. What was going on with him? He was acting so... insecure. 

He’d half-expected a ‘sit’ for his rude behavior toward her, but the miko seemed willing to take his unfortunate attitude in stride. He was slightly disappointed. 

“Well, I’m proud of me,” she announced haughtily, sticking her nose in the air. Sesshoumaru smirked at her self-congratulations, and warmed a bit when she placed a grateful hand on his bicep. She was beaming at him. “And it's all thanks to the best wilderness teacher in the whole world.” 

“Ridiculous,” he scoffed, inexplicably embarrassed at her fawning. She might as well be praising him for teaching her to put on shoes. 

“No, you are.” She seemed intent on showing her gratitude, however, so he made a small concession. 

“Perhaps the most patient.” The slight barb made her gushing somehow more comfortable to endure, but he enjoyed the smirk she returned once the friendly dig registered. 

“Hey! Do you guys wanna go make out somewhere else, please? I can’t really afford to lose my lunch right now.” 

The crude commentary startled them out of their little moment, and the hanyou received twin death glares for his trouble. 

Was that it? Was his half-brother growing weary of his budding friendship with his miko? Was he jealous, or did he feel that he was encroaching? 

Perhaps he assumed they were more involved than they were. If so, he hadn’t eluded to it before. 

“You don’t have to be a jerk; I was just excited,” she chided, annoyed at him for unnecessarily stirring the pot. Things were tough enough already without his constant aggravation. 

“Yeah, we all know you’re excited around the fucker. Every youkai in a 5-mile radius can smell it.” Kagome faltered at his crude assessment; her incredulity easily eclipsed by the humiliation of knowing he could discern such a thing. If it was true, she hated how he could invade her privacy like that. 

Reining in her upset, she clenched her fists tightly at her sides and grit her teeth. 

“I’m going to let that slide, because I know your time of the month is coming up.” 

But, or course, her announcement only made him more enraged. 

“Shut up! You don’t get to tell him my business, Kagome!” 

He leapt to his feet; a day full of anxiety and fear finally coming to a head. Stress was rolling off him in waves. 

Kagome had been appeasing him so far, but she’d finally had enough. It didn’t matter anymore anyway. 

“The sun’s almost down, Inuyasha. He is going to find out whether we tell him or not.” 

“Shut UP!” 

“Seriously, what’s your plan?” she wondered, rounding on him as he stuck his sword back into his obi. “Do you plan on hiding all night? Because there is no way I’m letting you go off on your own when you’re like that.” 

He knew he was being ridiculous. He knew it was futile at this point. But it wasn’t just for his protection that he kept his well-guarded secret. 

His brother hadn’t done anything terrible so far, but he still didn’t trust him enough to let him loose on the world with this knowledge. 

He was losing control over one of the last things he had control over. And on top of that, he still had a complex about appearing weak in front of others, not least of all his cruel older brother. 

“Just tell him,” she pleaded, softening her approach. “What do you think he’s going to do? You have to trust him.” 

But that was much easier said than done. 

“He’s gonna exploit it later, I just know it.” 

To be fair, his accusation was not without precedent. But that was before. 

A part of him was uncomfortable with the idea of trusting him at all. That it was even possible was deeply unsettling. 

“For what? If you haven’t noticed, he’s having a human night 24/7 right now.” But then, something occurred to her. Maybe she’d been going about this all wrong. Maybe he wasn’t afraid of Sesshoumaru using the knowledge against him. He was more sensitive than he let on. 

Perhaps he was simply worried about being mocked. It was also not without precedent. “I don’t think you are going to shock him.” 

“Tell him what, exactly?” Tired of being spoken of as if he wasn’t standing right there, the elder brother encouraged the confession. 

She glared at Inuyasha pointedly, her expectation clear. When it was not forthcoming, she turned to the other man. 

“If you won’t do it, I will. Sesshoumaru-” Before she could finish, he brushed past her in a blur of angry red, leaving the two of them standing alone by the fire. 

“Yes?” he prompted expectantly, tearing her concerned gaze back from the trail her friend had stormed off into. 

She looked up into his patient features, yearning to clue him in. But she couldn’t do it. 

“Dammit.” She deflated. “He should be the one to tell you.” Walking back over to the fire, she pulled two of the lizard skewers out of the ground and handed them to him. “Here, bring him this and make him tell you.” 

He raised an eyebrow, considering her request a moment. Finally, he relented and took them from her. He started to make off down the trail, her voice trailing after him as he ventured. 

“And please, be nice. You more than anyone should understand.” 

This particular mountain was so large, it would have been possible to house several villages. Around their camping area was definitely large enough to get lost in. So, Sesshoumaru was relieved that after only a few minutes of walking, he found Inuyasha sitting atop a small rock structure with his sword once again propped against his shoulder. He strode over to join him. 

“So you know?” he asked grumpily, a touch of nervousness there too. 

Sesshoumaru claimed the large rock to his side, crossing his legs and handing one of the lizards to his half-brother. 

“I have my suspicions. However, the miko has revealed nothing.” 

Inuyasha scoffed, turning his head from the offered meal. 

“Yeah, right.” 

“I speak the truth.” He continued to hold out the stick, and Inuyasha eyed it a second before finally accepting. 

They ate together in silence, making quick work of the dinner he caught. When they were through, they returned the DIY skewers to nature. 

The uneasy tension was awash with sorrow, and Sesshoumaru recognized the boy’s need to have his fears allayed. Neither looked at the other as he spoke. 

“Whatever you are hiding, I would have you know that anything I learn while in your pack will remain between us.” He slid his gaze to him, noting how tense he appeared. “And I also will not use such information against you in the future. I should hope you will grant me the same courtesy.” 

Inuyasha looked nervously over to his brother, and finally relaxed his shoulders into somewhat of a slouch. 

He supposed he really was being silly. Sesshoumaru would be in more trouble than him if anyone found out about his current situation. He wondered what would happen when they did; it was only a matter of time. 

“Keh. Guess you’re gonna find out anyway.” He turned to him slightly and closed his eyes in resignation. Sesshoumaru mirrored his action, and remained silent. “Tonight’s the new moon. That means that as soon as the sun goes down, I’m gonna be a weak human just like you. And I’m gonna stay that way until sunrise.” 

He paused for a beat, and prepared himself for the taunting he had expected. But it was not quick in coming, and as the silence persisted he found himself growing anxious that his brother just get on with it already. 

“And?” 

“And?” The hanyou repeated incredulously, and opened his eyes again. “And what?” 

“Is that all?” 

He didn’t know why he had been expecting his cruel mockery. Experience, perhaps. But looking at his brother’s classic bored façade, he recognized how foolish that was. 

“I am hardly in a position to mock you. I am certainly not in one to take advantage.” The confirmation placated him a bit. He felt some of the tension leave his body. “If you hadn’t noticed, I have been relying on you these past few weeks to do what I cannot. And I do not simply get to change back come the dawn.” He became thoughtful as Sesshoumaru’s words registered. He knew he had been helping him. He guessed he just didn’t think about how much. Didn’t think he noticed. 

“What did you assume I would do?” 

“I don’t know. Be a dick?” His lopsided smirk in no way meant he was joking. Sesshoumaru smirked back before returning his gaze to the forest. 

“I can’t attest I will not, but I assure you it will have nothing to do with your humanity.” Inuyasha released a short chuckle, and joined him in avoiding eye contact. “You have been... gracious regarding mine. I can hold my tongue for an evening.” 

The air became considerably lighter after that. Inuyasha pulled his knee up to rest his arm on top of, and let his other leg dangle and swing. He began to pick nervously at his sleeve. 

“I guess I’m just sensitive about it. I don’t like being weak.” 

“Believe me, I understand.” Sesshoumaru curled his hands into fists, as if trying to prove his point. 

“Tetsusaiga won’t even transform for me. Not all the way, at least. I’m useless.” 

Speak of the sword earned Sesshoumaru’s attentions, and caused hit thoughts to stray. 

“You’re doing pretty good though. If it were me, I’d be losing my mind.” 

“It has been challenging,” he agreed, and then surprised his brother with a concession. “But you and your pack have eased my burden substantially.” 

His eyes widened at the admission. He never thought he would ever hear Sesshoumaru admit he needed his help, let alone thank him for it. He studied his passive features in awe for a second. 

“How do you do it?” he finally asked, and earned a curiously cocked eyebrow. “Stay so calm about everything?” 

“What is the point in panicking? There is only value in finding solutions.” 

That’s when he realized the ice prick was probably more scared than he let on. He’d just die before he let anyone know it. The idea that he had fears and anxieties just like everybody else was shamefully comforting. 

“It matters not how you are tested, but how you fare when tested. If I handle this crisis correctly, I shall come out of it even stronger than I was previously.” 

“If you come out of it.” 

He glared down at his brother, who seemed surprised at his own insinuation. 

“Sorry,” he corrected quickly, cheeks pinkening slightly. “Is that how you got so strong? Always testing yourself?” 

“Of course. And not just I. Father was constantly tested, and so are you. I believe you endure quite well.” 

“You think I’m stronger?” he asked, hating the insecurity in his voice. Sesshoumaru smirked again. 

“Every time I see you.” 

Knowing his brother wasn’t one to blow smoke, he let himself enjoy the rare praise. But then, a thought struck him. 

“Is that why you’re always such a bastard?” 

Was it possible that all this time, he was testing him? Making him stronger? 

“At times,” he confirmed. But elaborated in the art of full disclosure. “Though I am told I may have a bit of a temper.” 

He hadn’t always just been testing his strength when engaging him in battle, so it would be disingenuous to claim that. But there were certainly times when he wanted to explore his full potential, and expand on it. 

“Keh. _At times,”_ he mocked. “But so do I, though. Dad must have had one hell of a temper.” 

It just slipped out. He hadn’t meant to bring up their father. He knew it was a sore subject. But he couldn’t deny that he longed to know more about him. He just never expected Sesshoumaru to indulge him. 

“Truer words were never spoken.” 

He released a breath he didn’t know he was keeping, and decided to push his luck. 

“He ever aim it at you?” 

When his brother turned to him then, with the beginnings of a smile playing at his lips, he thought he actually saw his eyes sparkle in amusement. 

“Once or twice.” 

Inuyasha grinned eagerly. 

“You deserve it?” 

“I did my best. I would receive it regardless, so I figured I had better earn it.” 

“Like what?” Sesshoumaru seemed to be considering him for a moment. 

There was so much he didn’t know about the demon who sired him. Most of what he knew likely came from his own recounts. He supposed it wouldn’t hurt to share an anecdote or two. 

He was about to reply, but at that very moment, the sun completed its descent. 

In seconds, silver hair had turned to black. Claws receded into mere fingernails. And the weight of his aura became drastically lighter. 

Sesshoumaru marveled at the change. It was not a painful transformation, but his discomfort was more than clear as he withstood his brother’s curiosity, and scrutiny. 

He let him have his fill, trying to remind himself that he was human too. That right now, for the first time ever, he and his brother were the same. 

Just like he’d always wished for... he should have been more specific. 

It didn’t stop him from squirming at the awestruck look he received. 

Uncomfortable with his silence, and not expecting him to break it, he began to nervously ramble. 

“The worst thing about my human night is how useless I feel. Is that how you feel now?” 

His voice shook Sesshoumaru from his stupor, and put an end to his inspection. He didn’t need to answer. 

“I know how you feel about what happened to Rin. Cuz every month, I get worried sick about Kagome.” Sesshoumaru remained silent, and let his brother attempt to relate. It wasn‘t so bad having someone in the same boat. “I worry that some demon’s gonna come in and hurt her, when I can’t protect her. That’s why I don’t tell nobody about it. If the wrong guy found out...” The implications hung in the air, raising both of their hackles. 

“Now both of us are gonna be weak. I’m so worried that something’s gonna happen. It makes me edgy.” He realized he was rambling now, and eyed his brother with sympathy. “Just sucks if you feel like that all the time.” 

He never figured his brother could understand. But tonight, he knew he was the only one in the world who could. It was oddly comforting, but that in itself made him uncomfortable. 

He saw the plea in his eyes become more urgent. 

“Please help me keep an eye on her tonight. We just gotta keep her safe ‘til morning, then I can do it again.” 

Sesshoumaru surprised his brother by outright scoffing at his request, and he got worried. Would he refuse? 

He thought he liked Kagome. He thought he cared about her. He thought- 

“Back on the bridge, the miko should not have come for you. She should have trusted your ability to take care of yourself.” 

Inuyasha straightened. He very much agreed, actually. In fact, he’d begged her not to come. Stupid wench never listens... 

“I suggest you do the same. The miko is not weak, by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I would argue that tonight, she may be the most equipped to keep watch.” 

It was quite a concession, but he was inclined to agree again. 

Kagome was powerful. And without his sword, she was the most capable against any demon who might attack. 

Still, he just didn’t like putting her in danger like that. 

“She is as powerful a human as I have ever encountered. I trust that were a demon to attack, her arrow would keep us well protected.” So he saw it too? He wasn‘t sure he’d ever let himself sink low enough to acknowledge any human as powerful. 

“You should have more faith in her. You have seen what becomes of any fool to doubt her abilities. That woman is strong.” 

Inuyasha smirked. He was right about that. She’d put more than one demon in his place. Both of them included. 

“And you should tell her.” Inuyasha faltered. The odd suggestion had him looking at his older brother curiously. “Your words carry weight with her. That is a power you must learn to use responsibly.” 

Buthis assessment embarrassed him, and he instantly averted his eyes. 

“Keh, whatta you know?” 

“I know I found her in tears after you doubted her hunting prowess.” 

In his surprise, he forced himself to meet his brother’s gaze once more. He made her cry? 

“She cares what you think. Keep that in mind.” 

He never meant to hurt her. Had he? 

Slowly, guilt began to course through him, making his blood feel heavy. He supposed he hadn’t really been paying her much attention lately. What with the mission, and Sango... he’d kind of dropped the ball. 

Kagome was his best friend. Friends can tease each other. But if he hadn’t been around much lately, he could see how she could get offended. They were starting to drift apart, and he was letting them. 

In fact, the last big talk they’d had was when he told her about Sango. 

He’d been negligent. He hadn’t secured the foundation, and now his friendship was in danger of crumbling. He was actually grateful to Sesshoumaru for bringing this to his attention. 

“I have a suggestion.” Once again, his brother’s voice tore him from his musings. When he looked at him this time, the intensity in his countenance was so strong it nearly startled him. “Just for tonight, entrust your sword to me.” 

Inuyasha’s eyes instantly darkened, and a scowl crawled across his lips. 

“What?” he demanded, his voice dangerous and low. 

Sesshoumaru sensed the threatening shift in his aura, and he could understand. But he seemed receptive to reason at the moment. He would simply make him see it his way. 

“Allow me to possess it. Perhaps it will transform for me. That way, I can protect your miko in your moment of weakness.” 

The barest flashings of hurt let themselves be known in Inuyasha’s incredulous features, until a humorless laugh escaped his throat. He closed his eyes and smiled to himself, before giving his head a few astonished shakes. 

“Keh, you really think I’m stupid, doncha?” He hopped off his rock, and began tucking the sword into his obi. “Maybe I am. I actually thought you meant all that stuff you said.” 

Sesshoumaru continued to watch on curiously as his brother prepared to leave. 

“You still want my sword, you’re just resorting to different tactics,” he hotly accused. “You pretending to be my buddy? My brother? Getting me to let my guard down then _swipe_.” The Western Lord simply continued to sit in silence, resigned to letting the whelp complete his little tirade. 

His suspicion was not unjustified, and really shouldn’t have surprised him. But he had to admit, he was slightly taken aback by the accusation. Not that he let it show. 

“Well I got news for ya; I may be dumb, but I ain’t that dumb. You are never getting your hands on this sword.” He placed his hand on the hilt for emphasis. “I’d let a whole army of demons take me down before I’d hand it over to you.” He brushed past quickly down the way he came. And though he did not look back as he fled, he made sure to mutter loud enough for him to hear. 

“Man, you really are pathetic.” 

And then he made his way back to camp, leaving his brother alone to process what just occurred. 

* * *

It was a good thing there seemed to be no demons around, because the way he stomped through the campground was loud enough to wake a bear from hibernation. 

His aura was flaring wildly, and Kagome was more than startled to see the human version of her friend take off angrily in the other direction. 

“Inuyasha? Where are you going?” 

Without a backward glance, he raised his voice and inflected. 

“I’m gonna go practice with _my_ sword.” 

He said it a little louder than he had to, and she wondered what she was missing. 

“Are you sure you should go by yourself?” she asked, rising hurriedly to her feet. She didn’t like him going off on his own when he was human. Usually, he appreciated her support during this time. 

“That’s the point. Don’t follow me,” he commanded. And then, he was gone again. 

When Sesshoumaru entered the campsite just a moment later, she turned to him worriedly. 

“What did you say to him?” 

“The wrong thing, apparently.” 

It sounded like it was between them. She could respect that. But she was still concerned. 

“Is he okay?” 

“His inadequacy has seen him become insecure. I suspect it will disappear with his humanity in the morning.” 

Sesshoumaru took his seat by the fire, and Kagome made her way over to join him. She sat at his side as he attempted to get comfortable on the ground. 

“You didn’t make fun of him, did you?” 

He gave her a look, but deigned to answer as well. 

“I am in no position, or have you forgotten?” 

She didn’t appear to be brimming with confidence in him. He supposed whatever reputation he had within this group, he had earned it. 

“You don’t believe me,” he observed. But her answer surprised him. 

“No, I do.” The simple admission warmed his chest pleasingly. “He gets like that around this time. And you’re right, it will pass. Thanks for trying.” 

Her growing trust in him was validating. He supposed after saving someone from falling to their death, one has earned such considerations. But he’d saved her life before. Though he would concede that the last instance was considerably more drastic and straight forward. 

“Will he return?” He found himself scooting closer to her. The chilly temperature brought on by nightfall had them drawing nearer to the flame, and each other. 

“Once he’s blown off some steam. If he’s not back in a bit I will go hunt him down.” 

She checked the small watch she had begun to wear on her wrist. Time didn’t seem to matter as much in the past, but she liked having some frame of reference occasionally. It kept her strangely grounded, reminding her that the world back home still existed. 

“I'll give him twenty minutes.” 

“That is an impressive clock-watch,” he observed. He’d admired it in private, but had yet to comment on it. “Small, and intricate.” 

“You’ve seen a watch before?” His comment surprised her. She’d honestly thought they hadn’t been invented yet. She certainly never saw anyone in this time wear one. 

He boldly took hold of her wrist then, and brought it closer to his eye for better inspection. 

“I have seen them in overseas, though not of this quality.” 

She flushed at the contact. His fingers held her gently, caressing her elbow, and tickling her hand. She went limp in his hold, and let him maneuver her to his liking. 

“You’ve been overseas?” she managed to ask. She was a bit disappointed when he released her, missing the contact immediately. 

“Indeed. This One used to travel with his father quite often.” 

She reclaimed her arm to nervously toy with her timepiece. 

He’s been around so long. He must have seen so much of the world. She found herself wanting to hear his stories. Maybe one day he would indulge her. 

“My mother took me a couple times,” she offered, remembering the few vacations they had taken as a family. “But I want to see more.” 

A stiff breeze rolled through, whipping the flames before them into a brief frenzy. It chilled her skin, and she automatically used her hands to rub some warmth back into her arms. 

Without asking, he decided to help her. 

He reached his arm around her back, incasing her and gathering her to him more closely. Her breath hitched, and stomach fluttered as he joined in using his hands to help create friction. 

He’d been much more attentive lately. It was almost as if he viewed saving her on that bridge as buying her life. Not to own and control, but to care for. Like protecting his investment, after the effort he’d spent. He always did hate waste. 

She certainly wasn’t going to stop him. 

“Did you eat enough?” he asked, noticing the third lizard was no longer near the fire. 

She smiled. She could really get used to this attentive side of his. 

“Yep, I think I've had all the lizard I can stomach for one evening. There’s no food on this mountain.” 

“The deer must have heard you were coming.” 

Their position had his face dangerously close to hers. So when she turned to face him, his sly grin was even more startling. But not in a bad way. 

She tried to temper her blush, but wasn’t confident she had succeeded. Still, she swallowed her nerves and tried to converse normally. 

“That was fun,” she said, and he had to resist the urge to cock an eyebrow. Apparently her selective memory saw fit to romanticize thier little hunting trip. He, however, easily recalled another near-death experience, a frustratingly elusive doe, and being elbows deep inside a freshly carved up carcass. But he kept his counsel. It really hadn‘t been all that bad. Her mere presence seemed to have that effect in even the least pleasant of times. “We should hunt together again sometime.” 

Apparently, she felt the same. He found the notion more than acceptable. 

“What do you wish to hunt?” he couldn’t help but wonder. His warming hands had slowed their pace, though he had yet to relinquish his hold on her. 

She thought about it. 

“I don’t know. What animals do you like to eat?” 

She was a tad worried to hear his answer. Sesshoumaru probably enjoyed hunting challenging game. She didn’t want to think of the kind of beast who would give him a run for his money, and what they may taste like. 

What did he eat, anyway? She hoped it wasn’t gross. 

“I have always been partial to boar demon.” 

Oh. That was not what she was expecting. It seemed pretty innocuous. Except... 

“You eat other demons? Isn’t that cannibalism?” 

His rubbing motions stopped, and now he was cocking his brow at her. 

“I was not a boar, the last time I checked.” 

And then he removed his arms from her completely, and she mourned thier departure. She immediately held herself then, and found it was a poor substitute. 

“Yeah I know, but I can't just eat another race of human.” 

“Why not?” he asked earnestly. She opted to derail this particular line of questioning. 

“Have you ever eaten human?” she asked cautiously instead. She should really stop asking questions she wasn’t sure she wanted answered. 

If he had, would it change her perception of him? 

She decided it wouldn’t. Because that would have been the old him. He was human now, at least for the time being. And she was extremely eager to give human Sesshoumaru a clean slate. 

Luckily, he didn’t appear to need it. At least where his diet was concerned. 

“From what I understand, your kind is salty, and tough.” 

She bit her cheek. Those were a few adjectives that described the Western Lord aptly as well. 

But at the moment, so was ‘sweet.’ So she let it slide. 

“Eww. Well I guess I'm lucky I don’t taste good.” 

“I’m afraid that is incorrect.” 

Very sweet, she decided. And while you’re at it, throw cheeky in there as well. 

She pulled her lip briefly between her teeth, and noticed how his eyes followed the motion. She felt herself being pulled in. 

“What do I taste like?” 

His eyes became as hot as the flesh between her thighs, and just as intense. The reminder that he knew how she tasted had her losing herself to memory. To the way he himself tasted. 

She could taste him now, and wanted to again. And she hoped, with her less than subtle question, he would know it, and make it so. 

But though his eyes became hooded, he did not close the distance. Did not take advantage of an invitation that was so wide open, that his resistance had to be intentional. 

“Have you not feasted upon a demon?” he asked instead. 

It sobered her a bit, and she found herself withdrawing slightly. An act of self-preservation, or else to straighten her thoughts. 

He was too easy to get lost in. She had to remember to take breathers, lest she lose herself completely. It wouldn’t take much, and she was shaken at her slackening grip on control where he was concerned. 

“No. I thought it might, I don’t know, make me sick or something.” 

But his eyes remained half-lidded. His voice, still kind. 

“You would survive.” 

And smooth as the silk he had shed to keep his identity under wraps. 

“Even with my miko energy?” 

Something about the contrast seemed like it may disagree. It sounded like a good way to get poisoned. 

“If the beast is dead, there will be no affect.” 

“What does boar demon taste like?” she asked. She couldn’t ignore the irony of what was once a proud demon encouraging her to make a meal of his kind. He seemed to appreciate it too, as amusement sparkled in his eye enough to overthrow the heated look that had taken reign a moment prior. 

“Like boar, but spicier.” 

His simple answer made her smile. 

“I like spicy.” 

“Then you must try it,” he decreed. “Once we return to your village, I shall take you to hunt a boar youkai, and we will eat it.” 

It sounded like a date. Not at all what she would have chosen, but he somehow made tracking and killing demons to feast on sound romantic. 

She wondered if he was aware he just made plans with her for after their mission was through. Perhaps he was conceding that he may be human for longer than he thought. If so, he didn’t seem too broken up about it. 

“Do you cook it?” she wondered. She hoped. 

“I assume that now I will have to.” He straightened up a bit, bending his knees enough to wrap his arms around. She copied him. 

“Yeah, humans can’t do raw.” 

She thought she saw fleeting traces of insecurity, but she could have been imagining it. She took it as a sign that his previous meals had not required much preparation. 

“What do you prefer to eat?” he asked, curious of her proclivities. 

“It's a little pricey, but I enjoy a steak on special occasions.” 

“What is that?” 

She was reminded of Inuyasha’s introduction to steak at her mother’s house, and the pig he’d made of himself after tasting it. Somehow, she doubted Sesshoumaru would pick it up with his bare hands like he did. 

“Muscle meat from a cow. The tenderer, the better.” 

“Hn,” he began thoughtfully, and the look on his face had her worried. When he got ideas, it was normally trouble. “I know where to procure a cow. Not the most challenging hunt, but-” 

“Oh no, leave Momo alone,” she ordered, catching on instantly to what he had planned. “And go easy on Toto.” 

He hid his displeasure at how casually she referred to the old codger. But he still chose to allay her silly fretting. 

“Fear not. So long as I am human, he shall be safe.” 

He seemed to have a lot of caveats while in this form. But she thought she understood the reason for this particular act of kindness on his part. 

“Don’t want to expose him to the new you?” 

His look said it all, and she couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Yeah, he’s a real shit talker.” 

“Indeed,” he agreed much less jovially. “How he has managed to survive to that age escapes me. He is lucky he is useful.” 

And that was very likely it right there, she reckoned. 

She steered their conversation back into friendlier territory. 

“When we get back to the well, I will pick up some filets from the store, and I’ll cook us some steaks. You’ll love it.” 

The thought of her cooking for him appeased something deep within that he didn’t understand. But his pleasure receded when he considered that she often cooked for all of her packmates. 

“You prepare them for your pack?” he ventured, but she shook her head. 

“No, not steaks. Too expensive. But I could grab a couple for just the two of us.” 

This satisfied him a bit, but only until the idea of her spending her earnings on him took hold. 

She obviously didn’t have much, and he certainly was not in need of her charity. Not in a monetary sense. 

“I will send you with money,” he insisted, a slight frown upon his lips. 

She shook her head again. 

“No, my treat. It’s not a big deal.” He was inclined to disagree, but she cut him off before he could. “But you can bring the wine. I’m not allowed to buy it there.” He couldn‘t help but remember the last time they had enjoyed wine together. It was the last time he had tasted her as well. He wondered when he would again. When she would permit it. 

“Then let’s see, something for dessert...” she continued, as she planned the future meal he had apparently locked himself into. As her excitement mounted, his did as well. Though he didn’t give a damn about the food. 

“Do you like sweet things?” she asked, before she got ahead of herself. 

He smiled, and realized that with each passing day, she was becoming more endeared to him. And in turn, he was becoming less resistant to that fact. To her. 

“I am beginning to.” 

“Great! I’ll make a cheesecake, and everyone can have some.” 

Her excitement was infectious. He didn’t care about the food. But anything that could rile her up like this was something he could get behind. 

“Not just for us?” he asked, increasingly amused at her enthusiasm. 

“No, I’d put on weight if I ate like that. But we can steal a couple pieces, and sneak away somewhere.” 

“Where?” The thought of taking away with her to some private location was certainly an appealing one. He was very interested to hear what she had in mind. 

“I don’t know. Is there anywhere you like to go?” 

She realized she didn’t have any places that were just hers. She was a very social person, and liked to share herself with those she loved. 

But she had a feeling the reticent demon had a lot of places to go when he wanted to be alone. Maybe he would share them with her. 

“I know of a cave I can make quite comfortable. It would be private. You would be safe.” 

The previous heat returned to his eyes, burning her with the suggestion in them. 

But she wasn’t feeling as receptive as before. As much as she wanted him, she still wasn’t ready for him. She wanted more moments like these; getting to know each other’s minds, before getting to know each other’s bodies. 

And when he looked at her like that, it put her plans in jeopardy. 

“What if we can’t get to the river?” she blurted. The sudden change of topic did not appear to startle him. He retained his warm, gentle cadence. 

“We will get there. There is no need to fret.” 

She looked down sadly at where her hands were folded before her. 

“I’m just afraid that we’re going to be stuck in the mountains forever.” 

“That is a foolish thing to fear,” he scoffed, dismissing her notions outright. 

It was almost annoying, how sure of himself he was. 

“How can you be so confident all the time? Don’t you ever get scared?” 

“Yes,” he easily replied. She certainly hadn’t expected him to. And really, it didn’t sound right. 

“When was the last time you were afraid? Was it when they took Rin?” 

He looked down tenderly into her sympathetic features. Her concern for him was clear. It was a sentiment he returned. 

“The bridge.” 

She looked shaken, then momentary fear set in anew. She didn’t need to say it. 

“Yeah. Me too.” They hadn’t discussed the traumatizing incident since that day. Since right after it had happened. It probably wasn’t healthy to keep all that bottled up. But they were in survival mode. They needed to get out of these effing mountains, then they could analyze the repression and address the PTSD. At least, she would. 

She'd swallowed it down, pushed it out because she would be too much a mess to go on if she didn’t. It was something he seemed to recognize after briefly chastising her for her choices that day. 

He said his piece and let her be. And, from the looks of things, washed his hands of the whole terrifying ordeal. 

But despite outward appearances, it seemed he really had been scared too. He was just better at hiding it. 

Maybe when this was all over, they could talk about it. 

“It's comforting to know that even you fear for your life once in a while.” 

He continued to look down at her, but now something akin to pity bore into her shining blue eyes. 

So she really hadn’t been aware. Still wasn’t. 

He didn’t know if that made it better. 

“Not mine,” he told her. Those blue depths widened in realization, and he found he needed to look away. But he continued to enlighten her. 

“Every true warrior must accept his impending death at some point and make peace with that. Otherwise, he would live his entire existence in constant fear.” 

She supposed it made sense. If you spend your life throwing yourself into battles, taking on anyone worth conquering, that you had to be prepared to die. 

She just never thought he actually considered that he could. 

Death just seemed like it would be an unacceptable inevitability to him. But he wasn’t a fool. 

He knew he could go at any time. It just kind of saddened her that he was okay with that. 

She wasn’t. 

“It was the prospect of your demise which chilled me to my bones. I hadn’t considered the world without you in it, and I do not wish to.” 

He continued to shock her with his increasingly revealing confession. 

She knew they were getting on better these days, to put it mildly. And it's not like she thought he’d be happy if she died or anything. But she had no idea it would affect him so strongly. 

Humans died, that’s just what they did. He knew this, and she was certain he’d accepted that. 

So why did he seem like he was ignoring her mortality? 

With the lifestyle she’d chosen, it was possible she’d go before her time. Not that she was planning to. 

But she guessed, like him, she knew she had to be ready to go. 

“When you run blindly into danger, I will follow every time. Consider that the next time you wish to foolishly put your life at risk, it is not only your life you are risking.” 

But she was more like him than she thought. 

For as prepared as she was to sacrifice herself for the greater good, she would not sacrifice those she cared about. 

It was that care which drove her to run out onto that bridge. And it almost killed all three of them. 

If Inuyasha had been more careful, she wouldn’t have run. Sesshoumaru wouldn’t have. 

So she had to just hope he would exercise better caution in the future. And she would need to do the same. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful.” 

He released a silent breath he’d been unaware he was keeping. His muscles relaxed perceptibly. 

“That is all I ask. Foolish woman.” 

And by kami he hoped she would. Next time, they might not be so lucky. 

He _almost_ chuckled to himself at associating their current predicament with ‘luck.’ 

But he had been lucky. She was okay, and that seemed to be enough for him. 

What was it with this woman, that made everyone she met jump through fiery hoops just to see her unscathed? 

Differences in age, sex, even race did not deter those who made her acquaintance from tying her well-being to their own. 

Even he was not immune. 

He’d thought his brother a fool protecting her. For constantly rushing to her aid. 

He thought it was his dirty blood that weakened him so, but even full-fledged demons – like that mangy wolf prince – seemed willing to lay down their lives if the circumstance called for it. 

The thought was unsettling. 

How many other males did she have vying for her attention? How many others did he not know about? 

Perhaps that was how she so easily resisted his advances. 

Perhaps she is not as wanting of attention as she seemed. 

He was suddenly reminded of a discovery he had made during their travels together, and the troubling notions it had wrought. 

“I thought your name was Higurashi.” 

She looked at him, torn from her regretful introspection to regard him curiously. He’d never used her last name before. Then again, he rarely used her first name either. 

“It is.” 

“Then why does your notebook say Nakamoto?” 

She instantly flushed; eyes flew wide and cheeks heated. 

“You were sleeping, and I required your bottled water-” 

Her immediate answering glare showed she was not appeased by his explanation. 

“- and I did not wish to wake you. I went into your pack and came upon a notebook, and on the front it said Kagome Nakamoto. And there was a large heart drawn around the lettering. Why?” 

Embarrassment fueled her anger, and her annoyance at his boundaries - or lack thereof. That was the second time he had gone through her bag. That she knew about. 

“Because it was an old notebook,” she gritted through her teeth. 

“Your name has changed?” He remained cool, though likely aware of her festering rage. It was poorly concealed, after all. And he was getting to know her fairly well. 

She considered his unending curiosity, and genuine interest in her strangeness kept him as passive and receptive as he was. 

“No, it was just a joke.” She was trying to remain civil without giving away too much. She hoped he would sense her displeasure with him and leave it at that. 

He blinked. 

“I don’t get it.” 

But, of course, nothing was ever easy with him. She nearly forgot how he liked to push her. 

“What you _don’t_ _get_ is that you need to respect my privacy and not go through my things.” 

Then, he did something that shocked her.

“I’m sorry.” 

And what’s more, he looked like he meant it. 

He seemed sad that he’d violated her trust. Or perhaps it was that she felt she needed to keep things from him in the first place. 

“You have so many secrets.” He disarmed her with his accuracy, and how it seemed to affect him. “I simply wished to know a few.” She did have her secrets, and she felt she was entitled to them. But he seemed to take her reticence as a sign that she didn’t trust him. 

It appeared to irk him even more than she had thought. But he’d never made a secret of his desire for her to be honest with him. 

It made her feel guilty, considering he always was with her. 

“Would you like to know one of my secrets?” 

At least she thought he was. 

And she was quite eager to know, but feared she didn’t deserve to, all things considered. 

Still, she nodded. 

“I do not have any.” 

She gave him a flat look, because despite his downtrodden expression, she was certain a part of him was amused. 

“Everyone has secrets.” 

“Some more than most.” She didn’t appreciate his assessment, though he wasn’t exactly wrong. “If you ever care to ask, I will tell you.” 

“Tell me what?” 

“I do not know,” he insisted. If she didn’t know any better, she would swear he was growing exasperated. “Ask something.” 

And now she knew why. He was implying that he had nothing to hide, and anything he was keeping form her had only to do with her not asking. 

To be fair, he had always projected himself as the standoffish type. His whole aura seemed to discourage any sort of approach. 

But okay. Since he offered; what did she wish to know? 

What about Lord Sesshoumaru required further explanation? 

She could only think of one thing. 

“Why do you hate hanyou so much? Why do you hate Inuyasha?” 

Inwardly, he sighed. He supposed he should have expected the question. 

But then, perhaps he subconsciously wanted a reason to tell her. He realized, he would have her understand. 

“All I ever desired was my father’s regard,” he began simply. Best to start at the beginning. “I worked tirelessly for it my entire life, and I earned it. I earned his pride and respect and acknowledgement, but at the cost of nearly everything else.” 

Kagome sat silently, more than a little surprised he would share this with her. She was even afraid to move, like if he remembered she was there, he might stop talking. 

“He, and my house, and the West came first, last and only. Distractions and deviations were not tolerated, but punished.” He met her eyes then, and held her gaze. “Harshly.” 

She got the picture. Though she liked to think of Inuyasha’s dad as a good guy, she figured you don’t get to be the Lord of the West by being a permissive authoritarian. You don’t raise a demon like Sesshoumaru with ice cream and participation trophies. 

But with how his sons had turned out, he had to have done some things right. 

“Then, one day, he forsakes all he has made me work for. All he had demanded I lay my life, my desires, my reputation down for and pledge to - my lands and my house and my family.” His voice steeled a fraction. “My mother. And he gives it to the enemy.” 

Swiftly, he seemed to catch himself, and look at her apologetically. “What he taught me was the enemy. And the result of that torrid union - a half breed who has yet to be born - had already received everything I had worked so ruthlessly for... and nothing was asked of him.” 

His tone took on a bitter edge she hadn’t heard from him in some time. She was almost sorry she brought it up. 

“Nothing was pledged or sacrificed or earned. He received all those things so easily, so instantly. Not just Tetsusaiga, but everything; his protection, his adoration, his acceptance. He was a top priority. It just was not... fair.” 

To her, it seemed like he was testing this all out for the first time. Like he was working through all these issues in this very moment, as if he hadn‘t bothered to acknowledge them before. It was possible he hadn‘t. Perhaps he needed her as an outlet. Maybe she made it okay to think about. 

She barely had time to suppress her shock before he finally turned to her and addressed her startled features. “What had I lacked? Why had he not seen those things in me, his dutiful son? I simply wished to understand.” His imploring, inquisitive eyes darkened in less than a blink, and his aura around with it. “And when I could not, I wanted to make it fair.” 

He seemed lost behind his eyes. He wasn’t seeing her at the moment, as he appeared to be reliving things he may have preferred left forgotten. 

She didn’t mean to upset him; it seemed like lately he’d really been trying. But she supposed it was a loaded question. As much as she hated to bring it up, she desperately longed to help him mend the rift that kept the brothers apart. Maybe she couldn’t, but she could at least try to ease his burden. 

“I’m sure he did the same things for you.” At her voice, the darkness receded, and he allowed her to continue. “I'm sure he loved you too, right from the start.” He couldn't help it; he scoffed. This wasn‘t about love. In his opinion, she was far too obsessed with the notion. This was about respect. This was about justice. 

“He just saw your potential,” she continued nonetheless. “He knew you were going to be great, and he was right. He wanted to drive you to excel.” She paused a moment, and appeared to consider something. “And it might have backfired a bit. You might have gone a little overboard. But to his credit, you are a wildly impressive man.” 

He already knew that. And he was no fool; he was aware his father’s harsh training had no small role in the greatness he had achieved. 

But was it right to then hand everything to his brother? How was the hanyou to achieve his own greatness, buy easily receiving what he had rightly earned? It was a slap in the face to both of them. 

“I’m sure if he lived, he would have seen Inuyasha’s potential too, and he would have pushed him just as hard. He did what he could with the short time he had left. He trusted you enough to leave him to you. He wanted you to help him excel, and I think you have.” 

He slowly returned his focus to the miko. She knew? 

Had she been aware of the tests he’d put his brother through, hoping to aid him in unlocking his strengths? 

She was far more perceptive than he’d realized. 

“He also knew he needed the help. He wasn’t a full-fledged demon. He would not have the luxuries you were given; the access and the abilities. The acceptance. He had a handicap to work with. I think your father was trying to make it fair. And I’m sure if you ask Inuyasha, he would say it's not fair that you got all that time with him, not fair that you have all you have. I think you both envy each other a little. But the grass is always greener, you know?” 

He seemed to accept what she was saying. His continued silence seemed to suggest he was at least considering it. She didn’t know if these were things he had considered before. But it was very possible his new humanity allowed him to see things from a different angle. With less blind spots, perhaps. 

“You think your father favored Inuyasha. He thinks he favored you. I think you're both right.” 

He couldn’t help but laugh. Just a short burst to himself. She was so idealistic that it bordered on simple. But then, he tended to overthink things. 

“You've never even met him.” Her face dropped. She thought he was about to disregard her entire assessment. “How do you know so much, Kagome? Is it a future thing?” 

He’d already admitted she was more perceptive than he’d given her credit for. Perhaps it was as simple as she made it out to be. Perhaps he was too involved to see things objectively. 

“Perhaps in part.” She relaxed again when she saw he wasn‘t dismissing her. “I have 500 years of evolution in many things on my side, including family psychology.” 

He didn’t know how he always seemed to forget that. The fact that she was from so far in the future should demand he give her opinion more credence. She must know a good deal more than she appears. 

And here she was, using her vast knowledge of things to come to help him make sense of his inconsequential family drama. She really was fascinating. 

“I also have a little brother, and a father who passed away.” His eyes softened instantly. He didn’t know she’d lost her father. Actually, he‘d never even considered that she might have a family. There was so much he didn’t know about her, and he badly wanted to reduce that list. 

“I know what it's like to be jealous. He thought I was the favorite because I was older,” she continued on, still talking about her own brother. But Sesshoumaru was starting to lose focus. “I was daddy’s little princess. I thought it was Souta, because he was his only son. But he didn’t love either of us any more than the other. He loved us both, just differently”. 

He immediately recognized the smile she wore then. The glaze in her eyes spoke of memories her mind was playing. Of times long ago, and days forgotten, and perhaps chances missed forever. 

She was likely romanticizing things a bit; she had a selective memory, after all. 

He wondered if she would think of him like that, after he was gone. He also wondered how he would remember her. What would he think of? What would he miss? What would he change? 

What would he regret? 

Unaware of his reverie, she continued to recount the moments she was recalling. 

“One time, he told us that-” 

But unfortunately, Sesshoumaru was done listening. 

Had she been paying attention, she would have noticed his face rapidly close in on hers. She could have anticipated his lips, claiming her own in kiss that she was far too quick in returning. 

Her surprise nearly knocked her off balance for only a moment, but at the highly desired contact she leaned into him. Her hand was instantly hooked around his neck; fingers weaving through short strands and the nape and pulling him harder against her mouth. 

He was shocked, but pleased at her eagerness when he felt the satin tip of her tongue tracing the seam of his lips, demanding entry. He immediately complied, and his own hand rose to gently cradle her jaw; holding each other in place to aid in proper exploration and discourage retreat. 

Perhaps he should have done this sooner. She seemed desirous, even needy of the contact. But she was a frustrating contradiction; constantly pulling him nearer with one hand and pushing him away with the other. She wanted his attention, but not too much. Were all human women this way? He supposed he was going to need to learn how to navigate this confusing balance. But he would. 

The way her tongue played with his, and her fingers curled into his cheaply made clothing made it more than worth his trouble. He would fulfil her needs in whatever capacity she desired. He could wait for her. 

The way she sighed into him, and readily accepted his touch told him it likely would not be long. 

And as frustrating as it was, he respected her resistance. He admired her restraint. And it was going to be fun to chip away at it. 

Several long minutes passed as they explored each other’s mouths. They tested the waters, and discovered preferences, and developed a rhythm. When they finally decided to part, both hands rested comfortably on the warm planes of his chest, and her hair was tantalizingly disheveled from the long fingers that had weaved their way between the strands. 

Her dreamy, half-lidded gaze inspired an appreciative smile on his lips that matched her own. 

“Mountain lizard,” he told her. Though her brow crinkled in confusion, they still had their hands on each other. 

“What?” 

“You asked what you taste like. This time, it is mountain lizard.” 

She blushed, but her smile grew. 

“So do you,” she accused, but was happy she wasn’t the only one. 

“Hn. Is that bad?” 

“I think I’m developing a taste for it.” He couldn’t resist; he went in for another quick peck. No tongues this time, and she couldn’t say she wasn’t disappointed. 

This was all so new. He’d never kissed a female without it immediately leading to sex. It was different territory to withhold, but it was not unenjoyable. It permitted an air of closeness and contentment, and he found an easy comfort in simply appreciating someone; basking in her nearness. 

Finally, they each relinquished their hold, and settled back into their seats. Though this time, she retained the contact by leaning audaciously into his side. He was more than happy to support her. 

Happiness radiated off of her, and he wondered if he should ask his next question. He didn’t want to dampen her mood, but he was curious, and she was being open at the moment. 

“How did he die?” he finally asked carefully. Her features softened, and he was pleased he hadn’t upset her. Her wistful expression told him she was willing to share. 

“He rescued some people from a house fire. They made it out, but he didn’t.” 

She recalled the day her father had gone to work at the fire station, and never returned. They told her he was a hero, but at the time she was resentful that she had to lose him so some other family could live. She’d since changed her tune. 

“Hn. My father as well.” 

She smiled. She knew the terrible demon couldn’t have been all bad. 

It appeared they had more in common than they realized. 

“Was my secret revealed to your satisfaction? Was I thorough enough for your liking?” 

She boldly reached over to grab his hand, and she was pleased when he let her. 

“Yes. thank you for sharing that with me.” 

Fingers laced together, and both of their attention drew down to admire the sight. 

“So will you now tell me who this Nakamoto is? Or need I track him down to get my answers?” 

Though he was smiling, she had a feeling he wasn’t joking. Luckily, the boy was safe. 

“Well, you’d have to wait about 500 years to find him.” 

His smile took on a sinister air and she blanched. 

“I will do so.” 

Damn. She forgot he could do that. 

“No!” she begged, startled. “Leave him alone!” 

His mood immediately soured at her apparent protectiveness of this unfamiliar man. She noticed, and hurried to placate him. 

“Yuta Nakamoto is a famous singer in my era.” 

“You are friendly with this man?” he ventured, and she was amused by his insecurity. 

“No, we’ve never met. He has no idea who I am, but he’s very popular, and talented, and really attractive.” Sesshoumaru frowned as she praised this unknown male. “And when girls in my era get a crush on a handsome, popular singer, or public figure, sometimes they write their names on their notebook as if they were married.” His obvious confusion at the human practice forced her to elaborate, and she found herself growing embarrassed. “It’s like, a sign of respect, or a silly fantasy. And totally immature. I wrote that when I was much younger. I don’t do things like that anymore.” 

That notebook was from when she was still in middle school. Seeing as she rarely went to class, she had little need for new supplies. 

“Because you no longer fancy him?” he hoped. 

“Right. And it’s a childish thing girls grow out of; sort of like a phase when you come of age.” 

“When does this phase end?” he wondered, considering he may need to prepare himself for when Rin gets a little older. She was not too far off from coming of age herself. 

There was so much he didn’t know about human females. Perhaps the miko would be willing to assist him with such things, when the time came... 

“Usually around the time girls start having real relationships. Then they do that sort of thing with their boyfriend’s name. Set more realistic goals.” 

“But you were in no such relationship,” he correctly observed. “So what ended your Nakamoto phase?” 

“Well, it was about the time I started coming to the past. Suddenly, Yuta just wasn’t so hot anymore.” 

“Because you preferred my brother?” It actually took effort for him to keep his voice nice and even. He was not some jealous pup, but the reminder of her affections for the whelp was distasteful. 

“In part,” she conceded. “But there was more than one handsome youkai who put Yuta to shame.” 

Who? The wolf? He must remember to drop in on the wolf prince- 

“More than one dog demon.” She appeared to be reading his thoughts, and he cursed himself for wearing his emotions so openly. He needed to get back to controlling himself better. 

But the way she was smiling at him quickly ended his lament. 

“And now whom do you prefer?” he coaxed. Her shy smile said it all, and encouraged his own. 

“I should hope that’s not a secret.” 

He wanted to kiss her again. But he opted for raising her hand to his lips, and kissing it gently on the back. When he lowered their entwined appendages again between them, he brought his other hand over to sandwich hers in his. 

Even as a human, his hands were much larger than hers. But still, it managed to fit him so perfectly. She seemed to notice it too. Both of them admired the sight of them cradled together, and he used his extra hand to play with her fingers; prodding and experimenting with each digit that remained laced loosely between his. 

“Do you have a last name, Sesshoumaru?” 

She finally asked, still entranced with his curious explorations. He was as well, but the smile he offered her seemed tinged with regret. 

“No. You would be unable to alter your name as such with me.” He wondered if that disappointed her. Though he supposed it didn’t really matter. The two of them would never be married. Still, he found himself eager to make up for his shortcoming, and appease her somehow. “However, you would be given a title. It would simply add on to the name you already have. Enhance it, perhaps.” 

“Make it better?” she asked. 

“Make it longer, for certain. Lend it some prestige.” 

She stretched her fingers out as he continued to peruse them with his own, and he finally lifted his gaze back to hers. 

“Though, Shikon Miko Kagome Higurashi seems to be getting on just fine without it.” 

“Yeah I don’t even need the Shikon Miko part.” He couldn’t help but grin at her assessment. 

“I know.” 

She was so different from the bitches he had associated with in the past. Not one of them did not have ambitions to attach themselves to his name, and the title it would afford them. Not to mention the lifestyle and the power. 

This woman had her own greatness to sustain her. But even so, she seemed more than willing to live out her days sleeping in the woods and eating found woodland creatures. The bitches in court would never entertain such a notion. 

His chest began to tighten with anxiety at the prospect of living out his days with a demoness like that. One day he would be forced to, but he would delay that unfortunate inevitability as long as he could manage. 

“You don’t need all that other stuff either,” she informed him. She seemed to pick up on his sudden stress. “You don’t even need a last name. Everyone knows who Sesshoumaru is. I like that just fine.” 

He didn’t respond; just smiled to himself and looked back down at their hands. She followed suit, and they sat quietly like that a moment longer. 

“If I was going to write your name in my book, that’s all I would put. Kagome plus Sesshoumaru, with a cute little heart around it.” 

“I do not even get top billing?” he asked playfully. 

“You can when you write it.” Her gracious allowance earned his concession. 

“No. I rather like it your way.” 

She continued to daze dreamily at their joined hands, until she suddenly registered the watch on her wrist once more. He was reluctant to release her when she pulled away from him. But he did, and she immediately turned her arm and pulled the timepiece closer to her eyes. 

It seemed Inuyasha’s twenty minutes was up. 

“He's been gone a while. I better make sure he is okay.” 

She quickly stood, and brushed the dirt off of her clothes. 

“I will come with you.” He began to follow suit, but her hand on his shoulder kept him in place. 

“Nah, let me go. There’s a 50% chance he’s still steaming. You have that effect on him.” 

He frowned at her. 

“I do not think you should go alone.” 

Ever since the bridge, he had been even more reluctant to let her out of his sights. Their traveling situation rarely allowed it anyhow, but he was growing increasingly worried a demon would happen upon them. 

“You really don’t think I can handle myself at all, do you?” 

It was a dirty trick. She knew he had faith in her abilities, and often encouraged her to as well. If he wanted to put his money where his mouth was, he would have to let her go. 

But he didn’t like it. 

“Take your bow, please. And make haste. If you dally, I shall come for you.” 

She smiled at her victory, and he watched with concern as she made her way into the dark mountain alone. 

* * *

It had been ten minutes since she had left the warmth of his embrace, and Kagome’s cheeks were still aflame. Just the memory of his lips on hers, the texture of his tongue sliding softly against her own was more than enough to keep her heated in all the right places. 

She smiled to herself as she tasted him in yet another kiss whose unique flavor would remind her of that moment for the rest of her days. Every time was new; a different place, a different day and a different feeling associated with the passion he displayed for her. 

That was the only constant. That it was she and him was the only common thread of each of their encounters. But when she remembered the taste of mountain lizard and campfire, she would remember a protective embrace beneath the new moon, and a light touch gently guiding her jaw. 

Just like how her mother’s favorite sauce recipe would forever be associated with long, pepper-stained fingers and eager hips forcing her to writhe against a counter dug low in her back. 

Like how several fine sakes being dragged across her throat would reunite in her mouth as she was pinned beneath him on a bed in a stranger's mansion. 

And how his blood, and healing ointment were smashed against her lips and tongue while sturdy hips trapped her pleasingly into a low, surprisingly sturdy table. 

Each time was new, and exciting. Original, and spontaneous. And good. So good. Thrills continued to shoot through her, sparking to life at the wonder, and anticipation of when the next time would be, and where, and how he would taste then. 

She wondered if he tasted the difference in her too. If each of their intimate moments were as arresting and unmistakable as he was to her. 

He was right. She shouldn’t have come alone. She was far too flustered, and much too distracted to find her way in the deep, dark night on this strange, lonely mountain. She could have walked right by Inuyasha and not known it at the moment. Instinct alone was guiding her as she continued to push branches, and bushes aside while rooting blindly for her friend. 

Where could he be? Would he have come this far? She knew he wanted space, but on his human night too much space was dangerous. Even when they knew where they were. 

She brushed aside the fear that something happened to him. This mountain was large; this plateau sweeping. And cluttered. 

The large, dense trees were starting to cluster so tightly above that the light from the stars was not able to shine through, and she worried she might not be able to find her way back. 

It was a fine night to get lost. She felt shame in that moment for how often she forces herself to rely on the demonic abilities of her youkai companions. 

How surreal, that for this strange moment in time, they were just three regular humans meandering in the North. And she, out of all of them, was the only one with power. 

It was an uncomfortable realization, and a heavy responsibility. 

Then his voice rang clear across the night sky. It was him; she'd know him anywhere. And she followed the sound, letting him guide her to him. At least he wasn’t far. 

She saw the red of his clothes thrashing on the ground, and she quickly rushed over. Was it a demon? Did somebody find him? What had they done? 

He was wailing, whining and even crying on the dirt floor. She pushed her fear aside and ran to him, just as she had done mindlessly on that bridge. As she got closer, she saw it. 

A large animal trap bit violently into his leg, and blood was streaming down his skin, and soaking his clothing. His hakama were in tatters. 

She hurried over to free him, but he didn’t even see her. And he wouldn’t. For before she could reach him, the forest floor gave way, and she fell several feet below ground into a deep, dark hole. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh-oh, I did a cliffy... but I've been sparing you for a while, I think you were due LOL 
> 
> thanks so much for the awesome response!! it motivated me to get this one out quickly =) 
> 
> I'm really glad people enjoyed the bridge scene last chapter! I’m always worried my action scenes are going to be boring lol. But I’m really excited for literally everything I’m going to do going forward. After this point, things are going to start getting crazy and fun XD 
> 
> PS I just googled japanese kpop star to get the one I used. I never heard of him before that, so dont necessarily take it as an endorsement. 


	22. Sesshoumaru the Liar

Sesshoumaru sat alone by the fire, his bent knees cradled comfortably inside his encircling arms. Concern for the miko’s safety had foolishly taken a backseat to his smitten recollection of the day’s events, and in the absence of any witnesses, he allowed himself an enamored grin. 

He relived their most recent kiss not for the first time, and decided he was quite pleased with himself for not only bringing it to fruition, but receiving her complete and willing participation as well. Of course he wanted more from her; with her. But with how cautious and uncertain she appeared to be with her physical affections, he considered any progress a rather large victory. 

And he found, he wasn’t disappointed with it. He enjoyed the slow, steady pace she had set. Each milestone they reached together felt gratifying, and well-earned. And without rushing through the motions, he was able to savor each moment, each feeling, and burn it into his memory; roll it over on his tongue and identify each ingredient in real time. 

He felt with her that he was experiencing everything for the first time, and he didn’t know if it was because he was human – so he sort of was – or if it was simply that for the first time, he was giving himself time to reflect, and react, and enjoy the journey. 

He was a tourist in humanity, with Kagome as his guide. And she was making sure he would stop and appreciate every beautiful sight along the way. She was giving him his money’s worth. 

But that was not the only part of the evening he had thoroughly enjoyed. The well-guarded woman had trusted him enough to show him a bit more of herself tonight; peel back a few more of her layers to expose herself to his hungry gaze. She was like a harem girl preforming her enticing dance, but instead of her supple skin, each scarf she removed let him privy to her enigmatic mind, piece by tantalizingly slow piece. And he thought a few answered questions would sate his curiosity, but they only bred more questions, making him more famished for her than before. 

He couldn’t help but replay their conversation once more, committing her preferences to memory and planning out their future hunting trip, and the meal that would follow. He found himself growing more excited at the prospect as he tried to run scenarios in his head, and make sure he considered every last detail so they would enjoy success, and thus the evening together. 

But after the fourth or fifth run-through, he forced himself to put an end to his childish daydreaming. 

‘What am I doing?’ 

And really, he had to sit and think about it for a second. 

What _was_ he doing? Here he was, in the midst of a grueling search for his ward, and he was fantasizing about some far off, pipe dream plans he had made with his brother’s miko on some future, undetermined date. Was he a fool? 

He hadn’t even reached the tiger’s compound yet, and he was behaving as if they had already succeeded and were on the final stretch back home 

‘Back to her home,’ he forced himself to remember. 

Because that’s all it was. For if he managed to find Rin, and if he was able to bring her home unscathed, _and_ if he was able to track down each of her captors and deliver their just punishments, his mission was far from over. There was still the miniscule task of finding out what made him human, and then finding how to possibly change him back; not to mention actually accomplishing it. 

It could take weeks, months, even years to complete his goal. And here he was, making silly, inconsequential plans to sneak away with some human woman. And the worst part was, he hadn’t even considered his plight once. He’d completely forgotten his predicament, and his worries, and his responsibilities out West. All he had been able to think about all night was the human miko currently in his company, and how he might endear himself to her. How he might please her. 

His priorities desperately needed recalibration. 

But it wasn’t all his fault. She had been all too willing to let him do it. To let him lose himself in her. 

Was this how his father had become so incapacitated? Is this how he had lost his way? 

It had been so gradual and seamless, he hardly even noticed her talons sinking into him, and pulling him near. 

No, she wasn’t malicious, or duplicitous, or anything of the sort. She probably had no idea she was even doing it. She likely couldn't help being so irresistible, so captivating. 

No, this was his fault, for letting down his defenses. For allowing her sway him. Of course, he blamed his present mortality. It was making him weaker, and from now on he must be on guard. He vowed that from now on, his priorities would return to Rin. He must focus on getting them across that river at all costs. Even if he had to do it alone. 

He had to keep his eyes on the prize. For if he kept each of his goals in his sights, and reached them in sequence, he would not even be human long enough to see his dinner plans with the miko come to fruition. He would be back where he should be, keeping the Western Lands under tight rein. That was his true priority. 

With his reserves properly steeled, he gave himself a mental shake to banish all of his foolish fantasies out of analyzing range to be properly discarded, and he stood. The miko had been gone long enough and it was time to bring her back. And if his human brother was still pouting and unwilling to return, he was not above grabbing him by the scruff and dragging him back kicking and screaming. 

They had a river to cross in the morning, and there was no time to waste on this foolishness. 

* * *

When the shock of his terrible trap bite had worn off some, Inuyasha had begun to once again assess his surroundings. Looking down disdainfully at the metal jaws which ensnared his left leg, he cursed his human night for making him susceptible to the pain. 

If it had been any other night, he could have wrenched the thing off of himself without a scratch. But, after Kirara, he had a feeling that were he in his half demon form, his blood would have ensured he would not have detected the thing. And the magic they used would have been more than enough see him injured, just like the fire cat had been. 

But now, all he had to blame was his own stupidity for not simply looking where he stepped. He should have been more careful. 

“Inuyasha!” As he did his best to block out the crippling pain, he vaguely realized his friend had been calling him, and how her distant sounding voice carried a strange echo. 

“Kagome?” he screamed back; eyes still screwed tight as he writhed. He tried to reach for his tether, but even the slightest movement proved nearly paralyzing. 

“Kagome, are you okay?” he asked between labored breaths. “Where are you?” He pried his eyes open to try and catch a glimpse, but the mountain was dark and his vision was spotty. 

“I fell into a hole. I think it’s some kind of animal trap.” She remembered what Sesshoumaru had told her. Too bad she didn’t remember before she took off running. 

Her voice sounded strained, and he had to gather himself to respond without a shameful crack in his own. 

“Can you get out?” he managed. The ensuing pause was not promising. 

“I hurt my knee. The bad one.” 

He would have grimaced if he wasn’t already. He remembered when she had been stuck in the future for weeks during their hunt for Naraku. He recalled how she’d hurt herself playing some game at school, and damaged her knee to the point she couldn’t walk. 

Initially, he had been annoyed that they had to put the shard hunt on hold. But once she explained to him all of the constant pain she was in, he felt bad for putting the jewel over her well-being. 

If it was the same injury, that was bad. How could they get across the mountains, let alone the river, if she couldn’t walk? But he remembered his brother’s words and forced himself not to panic. One thing at a time. 

“What about you? Can you walk?” 

She sounded like she did when she called up to him from the well. He tried to move his leg again, but the pain was so sharp he was barely able to lift it, let alone sit up. 

“I don’t know,” he grunted. His voice sounded raspy and ragged. “I’m stuck in this trap. I don’t know how to open it.” 

“Is anything broken?” she asked, and he hated the obvious pain lacing her tone. Leave it to her to worry about his injuries when she was dealing with one of her own. 

“I don’t know, but it hurts like a mutherfucker.” 

The sight of him before she fell through the ground more than confirmed that. She couldn’t remember seeing him in so much pain. The thought of him hurting distracted her from her own leg, but she was not at all grateful for it. 

“Don’t worry. Sesshoumaru will come for us,” she insured him confidently. “Just try to hold on.” 

He was almost as shocked at her unwavering faith in his brother as his own. 

* * *

With each branch he pushed aside for access deeper into the mountain, he offered his brother another silent curse. The hanyou’s childish temper never ceased to cause him trouble, and he realized this was due to his own negligence. 

In his foolish attempt at comradery, he had extended an olive branch to Inuyasha so that they may travel together more peacefully than in the past. 

It was that minimal effort which the hanyou mistook for duplicity in an attempt to gain possession of his father’s fang. Had he simply ignored the whelp like usual, he never would have suspected any foul play, and likely would not have stormed off. 

Really, he didn’t blame him. How else was he to interpret his offer of... friendship? Brotherhood? Those words seemed too strong for them. He was willing to go with ‘tolerance’ for now. 

He should have expected his suspicion. In any other circumstance, he would have been right. 

That was why he had to start forging better boundaries between both him, and the miko. It was time to get this mission back on track. 

Without the aid of Kagome’s flashlight, it was incredibly difficult to see in the dark. The way the trees above blocked the sky from his view not only prevented the moonlight from illuminating his surroundings, but also prevented him from using the stars for navigation. 

That was his preferred method, and without his youki, the most reliable way to get them around. That was why during the day, he loathed their reliance on the miko’s compass. And as predicted, it was trust not well placed. But what good were the stars if he couldn’t see them? 

But some light had been able to break through the trees. And when he stepped into a modest clearing, he immediately detected movement. He rushed quickly over, avoiding roots and rocks as he ran, and hoped for the first time since entering these mountains that he was not coming upon some sort of animal. 

The red of his brother’s clothing lifted his hopes, but they were immediately dashed as he saw the metal trap digging into his shin. He may not have been an animal, but he was sure trapped like one. This did not bode well. 

And though he pitied the boy, he could not deny his first concern was for the future of their journey. 

He set off to crouch beside the squirming man’s side, but before he made it, the sight of the miko’s bow discarded on the ground beside him rattled him to his core. 

Had someone taken her? Had a demon come? He should never have let her go alone! 

But after a quick scan, he noticed the rather large hole in the ground, and scowled. 

Had he not told her? Had she not just promised him to be more careful? 

His tirade was on the tip of his tongue, but now was not the time. First, he had to get her to safety. 

“Kagome?” he called out. He’d dropped to his hands and knees to peer over the edge. He could barely make out her pained features in the dark depths of the man-made pit. His beckon informed both of the prisoners of his presence, and a huge sense of relief washed over each of them. 

Inuyasha rolled to his side to see what his brother was doing, but remained silent. Well, aside from the pained groans that escaped with each labored breath. 

Kagome relaxed a bit at his appearance, but was far from rejoicing. They were not yet in the clear, and once they were, they were going to have issues going forward. 

The pit was just too deep for her to reach the top of. But even if she could, she would need the ability to stand. And with the familiar pain throbbing below her kneecap, she knew any pressure she applied would be excruciating. 

She could easily make out Sesshoumaru’s concern up above. Here he was again, her own personal angel, right on cue. She supposed if anyone needed a constant savior, it was her, and she lamented that fact deeply. 

Instead, her first instinct was to usher him to the more worthy recipient of his aid. 

“Inuyasha,” she instructed around a wince. “You have to help him. Hurry!” 

But he had been expecting that. First, he needed to assess her. 

“Are you injured?” he asked her. She touched her tender, swelling flesh. 

“I think my ligament might have re-torn.” She really hoped not. But the surgeon warned her it could easily happen again, and each experimental application of pressure seemed to indicate such. 

He frowned at the news. Human bodies were so fragile, and so slow at mending. He only hoped, with all of her healing experience, she would be able to fix it. But one thing at a time. 

“Once I free him, I will extract you,” he assured her. She seemed pleased at his priorities, and nodded. 

“Okay.” 

With a lingering, sympathetic glance down at the cringing woman, he tore himself from the sight of her and crawled the short distance to his half-brother’s side. 

The trap was anchored to a nearby tree, which sprouted tall above them and used its thick branches to shield them from the night sky. 

A few of the sharpened teeth cut deeply into his calf, but luckily not enough to sever the limb. He may have some muscle, or tendon damage however. Hopefully the bone had been spared. 

With no word of warning or comfort, Sesshoumaru pressed down on the springs which allowed him to pry apart the jaws, and then he did just that. 

Inuyasha screamed when he experienced the sickly feeling of foreign metal sliding out of his skin, and instead of allowing his brother to remove himself, Sesshoumaru proceeded to drag the opened trap down the length of his leg and freed him completely. 

Assessing in the dark the best he could, Sesshoumaru took note of his injuries. His skin was shredded and mangled, and bleeding profusely. He could not be certain of the extent of the damage, but he knew at the moment the biggest danger was losing too much blood. 

Resigned to sacrificing yet another haori, he decided he found an upside to being forced to walk around in cheaply made clothing. He easily tore the sleeve off one of his arms, and tied it tightly around Inuyasha’s leg. Luckily, the trap seemed to bite him all around the same location. He was willing to take his silver linings where he could get them. 

“Did the demon magic camouflage the trap?” he asked, as Inuyasha finally managed to sit and prodded and tested his painful injury. 

Did his humanity not allow him to see through it? Sesshoumaru wondered why he – a full demon in human form – would be able to see past the magic, but a mere hanyou on his human night would be affected. But he soon had his answer. 

“No, I see it. I just wasn’t looking, that’s all,” Inuyasha ground out around his grimace. He hadn’t missed the accusation in his brother’s tone. 

“Fool. You must exercise better caution.” His admonishment was well deserved, but ill-timed. And he was certainly in no mood to argue. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” His easy acquiescence put an abrupt end to his lecture. 

Instead, Sesshoumaru left him to assess his own comfort as he crawled back over to the hole. 

“Kagome, are you able to climb?” he asked hopefully, returning his voice to a gentler state. He could barely see her hair now, and realized she must have taken a seat. 

“My knee is getting swollen. I can’t stand on it.” His lips curled downward. 

This was bad. This was very bad. Getting her out of there was going to be a challenge. 

“If I gave you something to grab onto, could you let me pull you?” Without the use of one of her legs, it was going to be difficult to pull her out without causing her more pain. He reeled for a method which would save her further torment, but it was looking like the only options they had were going to be unpleasant. 

“I don’t know. It hurts.” As he’d assumed. He continued to think. There had to be a way. 

“Perhaps I could pull us out. If I got down there, could you hold onto my neck like on the bridge?” He could get in and out by himself easily. Perhaps he could find a way out of there with her attached to him. 

“Maybe. I just can’t use my leg.” She sounded on the verge of tears, if the quiver in her voice and sniffling was anything to go by. He hated how helpless it made him feel. He was clamoring for solutions, if only to distract him from her pain. 

Maybe he could fashion a ladder out of a tree. Or maybe he could dig grooves into the wall of the hole. Or maybe, he could find a sturdy branch or vine to serve as a rope. He supposed he was limited to his ability to procure any of those things. 

She looked up to see his face stone set in concentration. 

“I must find something strong enough to support us. Wait there.” As he pushed himself back up onto his knees, he heard her gentle laugh. 

“Where else would I go, stupid?” 

She’d expected some smart-ass reply, but figured maybe he let her have that one due to her injury. She could no longer see him hovering over the top of the pit, but thought she might try and get appraised of things up there before he took off to find what he needed. 

“Is Inuyasha okay?” she ventured. When she heard nothing, she assumed he had already left. 

But he hadn’t. 

Once he had pushed himself off of his hands to sit on his knees, Sesshoumaru had chanced another assessing look at his brother. 

He was a bit startled to see the boy’s eyes wide with terror - a look the hanyou rarely displayed. 

He worried that his blood loss was becoming too great, and he might be going into shock. But before he could ask him, he felt the cold bite of steel press firmly across his throat, and he instantly stilled. 

“Don’t even think about going for that knife at your hip.” The confident, commanding voice came from behind him, and was unfamiliar. Sesshoumaru, however, took it as a good sign. For, if the man at his back simply wished him dead, he never would heard it. “My partners have a gun at each of your heads.” On cue, one of the men he had referred to walked into view, and pointed the wrong end of his Tanegashima rifle right into Inuyasha’s temple. 

At the same time, he felt a similarly sized piece of cold metal press harshly into the back of his own head. He had no recourse; Sesshoumaru lifted his hands and rose them above his ears. 

Damn. How did he miss their approach? He had been too distracted to keep appraised of his surroundings. That was basic, pup-level stuff. He couldn’t believe how negligent he’d been; how complacent. 

He was at first enraged that Inuyasha had not alerted him to their presence as soon as he had noticed them, but he supposed he could not fault him. What would he have done against at least two men with guns? Though they were all only human, they were clearly outmatched. He only hoped the miko was bright enough to keep her mouth shut. Maybe they wouldn’t notice her. 

“Good boy. I’m just gonna take this from ya.” Sesshoumaru didn’t move as he was swiftly relieved of his only weapon. “Can’t be too careful.” 

At the same time, he saw the man with the gun across from him reach down and slide the Tetsusaiga from Inuyasha’s hip, and scowled. If he could get to the sword, he could kill all three of these men easily. Though he could not be certain the weapon would transform for him. 

“What do you want?” he demanded, and felt the gun at his head pull back. He was little threat to them now, but that didn’t stop the first man from keeping the blade firmly at his throat. 

“All I wanted was to come empty my traps, but it seems you’ve beat me to it.” The man’s voice was casual; not a hint of threat in his tone. He supposed in his current position that it wasn’t necessary. “You know what the penalty is for poaching on these mountains?” 

For a second, he felt a soupcon of relief. If these men were just hunters and wanted their prey, they would surely let them go once they saw they didn’t have it. 

“I poached nothing,” he insisted, and he saw the second man with the gun walk around him to help his partner in assessing Inuyasha. They seemed particularly interested in his injured half- brother. “You’re cursed trap ensnared my companion by mistake.” 

Sesshoumaru took a moment to do some quick assessing on his own. 

These men were not particularly large, but they were armed to the teeth. Each had a rifle in hand, as well as long sword. A dagger as well was secured at each hip, and their armor was impressive. Thick chest plates were strapped over well-made clothing, and each limb was protected by dragon’s scales. The tough material was light and flexible, making it easier to maneuver in but offering nearly impenetrable protection. 

He would go so far as to saying it was overkill, particularly for a group of hunters passing though these barren mountains. 

These men seemed more suited to go to war. And seeing as he’d detected no trace of anyone else during his time here, he couldn’t help but wonder what there was to fight. 

He was also more than a little shocked to see these men were human. He had been expecting a youkai encounter at some point, but they had been told time and again that humans simply did not venture to these lands. 

What was going on with these mountains? Suddenly, he felt a deep sense of foreboding burrow into his gut. 

“Wasn’t a mistake,” the man informed him, and his mounting dread began to solidify. “I was hoping to catch a hanyou. But look at that, he appears to have turned into a human. What kind of magic is this?” 

Sesshoumaru’s eyes widened a fraction, before he schooled his façade back into place. He saw how the other two men were raking their gaze over his brother, and was pleased that for once the loud-mouthed half breed saw fit to keep his counsel. 

That the miko had yet to make a peep also lent him gratitude. 

“It is no magic, he is human.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. It was no illusion they were fostering. His transformation was natural. But it did not bode well that they were abreast of his heritage in the first place. These men seemed to know things about them. And seeing as the familiarity was not mutual, he found himself rightly chafed. He didn’t even know these men where here, and they seemed to know enough to know Inuyasha had been a half demon. What else did they know? Who sent them? 

“Now he is. Wasn’t a few days ago when you entered these mountains. Wasn’t even earlier today when he stopped to hunt in the valley.” 

Sesshoumaru scowled at the confirmation. 

“You have been following us.” 

“Off and on,” he admitted. “But don’t flatter yourselves, you are not incredibly interesting.” 

This was an upsetting development. How much have had they seen? What had they heard? Who, if anyone, had sent them? 

He briefly wondered if the monk and the slayer had been captured, and exposed them. 

“I ask you again, what is it you want?” he managed to ask calmly for a man who still had a recently sharpened blade at his throat. 

“And I’ll tell you again, all I want is to claim what I've caught.” His voice took on an amused tone then; Sesshoumaru could practically hear him smiling. “Man, to think of all the trouble I went through camouflaging that trap, and that idiot just walked right into it with human eyes.” 

The two men with guns offered a small chuckle, and finally Sesshoumaru felt the burn of the razor-sharp blade removed from his skin. He dared not move, however, save for lowering his arms. They were likely aware he had been fully disarmed. 

“Put the binds on him,” the man at his back ordered. “We can’t have him changing back and running off before we can use him.” 

He saw one of the men pull something out of a sack; a small length of what appeared to be reinforced rope, shaped in an infinity symbol. Even his human senses could detect the strong magic radiating off of the item. He hadn’t even felt such a strong manifestation in the magic traps they had encountered. They slipped it over his brother’s wrists, and ratcheted it tight. 

“Use him for what?” Sesshoumaru asked, but found himself easily ignored. The man was no longer behind him, and his stomach dropped like an anchor when he turned his head to see him peering down into the deep hole Kagome was trapped inside. 

“Well, hello there. Are you okay, priestess? I did not wish to injure you.” Sesshoumaru had to command all of his will to the surface to prevent himself from leaping to his feet, and making a play for the man’s throat. He didn’t want him looking at her. He didn’t want him talking to her. Certainly not so informally. But he knew if he acted rashly, any or all of them could find a bullet between their eyes, or a blade once again at his throat, only much deeper this time. No, he was going to have to keep a lid on his festering rage, and see what exactly these men intended. 

“Boys, get her outta there, will you? And be gentle with her. She looks delicate.” 

He should have known it was too much to hope for that they wouldn’t notice her. These men had apparently set these traps, and if they had been tailing them, they were aware of her presence. 

He watched helplessly from his knees as one man took out a length of rope and threw it over a thick branch which stretched out above them. 

For a moment, it looked like a hangman’s noose, and Sesshoumaru felt a brief panic tear through his whole body. But upon closer inspection, he could see the knot was completed, and realized what they had intended. 

“Just sit your pretty little ass in that rope, sweetheart. We’ll have you out of there in no time.” 

Sesshoumaru frowned. That was going to be a painful extraction method. He only hoped the levy would not be so turbulent as to cause her damaged knee much trauma. 

Kagome complied with the man’s wishes. She managed to sit herself inside the large loop knot while the other two pulled her up with little difficulty. Her involuntary tears of pain were her only protest as they lifted her out of there. Once she surfaced, they grabbed her and deposited her gently on the ground. 

The Western Lord did not miss how the man’s hands roughly perused her ass and legs before setting her down, and he fought off a growl, and every instinct that would see him attempt to rise and relieve any of these men of their weapons. 

“Sorry, what did you ask?” The man who appeared to be their leader managed to draw him back from the brink of a feral rampage with his question. The other two men appeared to be assessing his companions' injuries where they sat beside each other in the dirt. 

“Ah yes, the hanyou. At first, I simply wished to kill him.” At the admission, Sesshoumaru turned slowly to finally take in his accoster fully. This man was a little bigger than the others, but not by much. He was dressed similarly, but had several tassels on his armor signifying his higher rank. This confirmed they were some sort of military group, though of what he was not certain. The man with the sword also had a distinguishing scar running up the length of his neck to his jaw. He was confident, but seemed foolishly flippant for any man who held command. 

“Those beasts are an abomination, and I would consider it my duty to remove that filth as quickly as possible.” The look of unbridled disgust he leveled at the hanyou was familiar, and inexplicably upsetting to Sesshoumaru. But it was soon replaced with a devious smirk. “But as I saw him in action throughout your little journey, I got a great idea. There is much to be done back at the castle, and my men are far too busy preparing for the upcoming war to see to every little thing. Beast he may be, but he is strong. I’m sure I could find several physical tasks that need doing that he could accomplish much more quickly.” 

His regard of hanyou was not uncommon. In fact, most humans felt that way about any with youkai blood. Though they despised them, their power could not be denied. But most would prefer to put them in the ground – eliminate the threat - as opposed to take a risk capturing them. 

As he recognized before, though, this man was foolishly confident. Particularly for a human. 

“You intend to use him for physical labor? A slave?” 

“Precisely,” he answered with a grin. “Do you have a problem with that?” Sesshoumaru didn’t answer, unwilling to declare himself either way. The man gave him an appraising once over, and rounded on him to speak face to face. “You appear quite strong as well, though nothing compared to a hanyou. And while he may be useful, I consider hanyou sympathizers just as egregious as the beasts themselves. I think it might be best to simply kill you.” 

His scoff came instantly, somewhat startling his captor. 

“You are grossly mistaken. This One has no affinity for any half breed. I consider them as abhorrent as you, and have spent much of my life attempting to dispatch them.” 

This appeared to intrigue the man with the scar, though he was rightly suspicious. 

“Strange company you keep for having such convictions. Is there something special about this particular hanyou that sees to you traveling with him?” 

“Indeed,” Sesshoumaru confirmed haughtily. “We share a father.” 

“Ah, so you’re brothers,” the man replied, as if his answer satisfied his unanswered question. “I thought I noticed a resemblance.” 

“I have never considered that half breed filth my brother.” 

The declaration was spat with such unconcealed distaste that the leader could not hide his surprise. Nor his unease, with the sudden malicious darkness that seemed to engulf the kneeling man’s aura. 

“Our father was a great general in the Western Lands,” he deigned further. “He recently fell in battle, so there is nothing that demands I endure his presence any longer. Strong though my father was, he held a soft spot for this whelp, and forbade me from killing him. Now that he is dead, I am free to discard him.” 

His companions wisely remained silent, leaning on each other for support as they tried to ignore their painful injuries. Inuyasha’s wrists remained bound in front of him, but Kagome, deemed no real threat, was left free to sit with her swollen knee stretched out in front of her. She had been relieved of her quiver, however, though her bow remained discarded where she had dropped it on the ground. 

The men with guns remained at their sides, though their attention was now on the conversation Sesshoumaru was having with their leader. 

“Then why haven't you? You are a long way from the Western Lands. What are you doing in the North? In these mountains, no less?” 

Sesshoumaru felt a measure of relief at his ignorance. He didn’t appear to know who they were, let alone where they were going and why. It meant they hadn’t been sent by the tigers or pumas or anyone. From the sounds of it, they appeared to simply have spotted the trio as they attempted to make their way through these god forsaken mountains. And just like most humans, they appeared to loathe any with demon blood, counting out any inconvenient alliances. 

If they hadn’t noticed his brother was a half demon earlier on, they likely could have easily talked their way out of this confrontation. But as far as they knew, he was just another human. He decided to use that to his advantage. 

“I was simply going to slay him, put him out of his misery,” he began casually. “It would have been an act of great kindness. But I had another idea.” As Sesshoumaru’s gaze slid to his brother, a mischievous grin lifted the corners of his mouth. His eyes sparkled with an unnamed amusement. 

“I heard rumor that the tiger clan in the North used humans for their menial labor. I reached out, to see if by chance they would be interested in a hanyou for their purposes. Sure enough, they agreed to pay me a handsomely for delivering him.” He returned his focus to the man with the scar, who was studying him intently. “I figured living the rest of his long life as a slave to demons would be much more satisfying than simply allowing him a swift death. In addition, I would be paid for the honor. I could not ignore such an opportunity.” 

They seemed eager to kill him for his affiliation. He decided if he could convince them he was one of them, they might let him go. If he played this right, he could get them to release the others into his care too. 

The man considered him a moment, obviously intrigued but still unconvinced. 

“Why would he travel along so willingly? You do not have him bound.” His story sounded suspicious, especially since they had been watching them travel through the mountains as equals. Though he slipped so seamlessly into speaking with open disdain it came off as nothing less than genuine. 

Sesshoumaru shrugged. 

“I told him I was taking him to see an ally who might have a daughter willing to marry a hanyou. Unfortunately, your interference has forced me to reveal my true intentions.” 

“So you ally yourself with demons, then?” he asked him. That was just as bad. He would not trust any man who openly dealt with the enemy. 

Sesshoumaru shook his head; his features hardened. 

“Absolutely not. Any with demon blood should be forever wiped from this plane.” He lifted his chin slightly, somehow managing to look snobby while on his knees in the dirt. “However, until the day my army is fit to overthrow the West, what harm is there in making a bit of money while I wait?” 

Sesshoumaru was hedging his bets. The only way he saw out of this was to heavily lean into the two facts he knew to be true of most humans; their hatred of youkai, and their insatiable greed. 

If he was going to be human, he was going to need to act like one. He only hoped it would be enough to earn their trust and get sent on his way. 

The leader gave the kneeling man another long, thoughtful once over, before finally smirking at him. 

“I couldn’t agree more. Those youkai scum have been in power too long. You say your army is in the West?” Sesshoumaru smiled inwardly. Military men were all the same. If you profess the same cause they pledge their lives to, your status is instantly elevated in their eyes. 

“Indeed. I lead the human resistance who plan to defeat the Western Lord and his vast army. We were mocked when we began, but our numbers continue to grow. It will not be long before the humans take control of that realm.” 

Satisfied with this, the man straightened a bit. Finally, he deigned to sheath his sword. 

“The Western Army is formidable, and I hear the demon lord is strong. You have an uphill battle. I was not even aware of a human resistance army in the West.” 

Seeing as he had no idea there was a human army in the North, he figured this was some sort of a shadow operation. That, or simply a wildly unsuccessful one. Either way, he assumed the man could draw parallels. 

“We keep our ranks concealed. By the time he is aware of us, it will already be too late.” 

“I like your passion,” the man informed him. He’d been correct in assuming he was the kind who liked to talk shop. Most leaders tended to be, when it came to their cause. “And do not let the naysayers discourage you. They said the same thing about me and my army, but now the pumas are all but eradicated from these mountains.” 

“That was you?” he asked earnestly. He was wondering why they hadn’t had any run ins. Could it be that this human army actually succeeded in banishing them from their own mountains? If so, they must be more powerful than he’d considered. “I had wondered why I had not encountered a single puma on my travels.” 

The smug pride on the man’s face was all the answer he needed. But of course, it was not the only one he would receive. 

“Indeed. Ever since my men had perfected their special demon magic, the pumas have been no match. They have been forced to flee when we began reducing their ranks considerably.” 

“ _Your_ demon magic?” he asked, once again in genuine surprise. “I was told it was the pumas who created it.” 

“Figures they would try and take credit for our ingenuity. Just goes to show you cannot trust a demon, let alone those duplicitous felines.” 

Sesshoumaru considered this information. If it was not the pumas, but the humans who perfected this magic, it could mean a whole new threat was on the horizon. If these humans were planning some sort of takeover, he would do well to look into it; and inform the Lord of the North what may possibly lay ahead. 

“But we are the same; my men prefer to operate in the shadows. So the less known of our feats, the better. Before they know what happened, the entire Northern realm will be ours.” 

“Let’s just focus on the mountains first, boss,” the man with the gun at Inuyasha jovially suggested. His boss scoffed dismissively. 

“They are all but conquered. When was the last time you even saw one of those cats around here?” 

“True,” the gunman conceded. “but you know a great deal of them are out on the mission. When they return from their reconnaissance is when we will truly be tested.” 

“Mission?” Sesshoumaru prompted. Now, he felt compelled to gain just as much information on these cat’s plans as he could pry out of them. They seemed to have a good deal of inside information on their regional rivals, and did not seem ill at ease in sharing it with him. 

“Yes, I am afraid I cannot take full credit for their absence. The pumas have been planning a little coup on their own.” 

“They plan to take control of the panther house?” he wondered. It was not an uncommon occurrence for the cousins to challenge each other. For centuries, however, they have remained unsuccessful. 

But the scarred man shook his head. 

“No, they grow weary of constantly battling those panthers. They have set their sights southward.” 

“They plan to defeat the dragons in the South?” he ventured. 

“The dragons, the wolves, even your inu in the West.” 

He kept his face passive, but his voice took on a slightly sinister air. 

“Oh? What are they planning?” 

“Hey, maybe if you’re lucky, the pumas and dogs will battle it out and simply kill each other. Then your men could swoop right in and claim the land for human kind at last.” 

Though apparently abreast of the inner workings of demons in his territory, this leader did not seem particularly interested in the outcomes. All demons were the same to him, and apparently he figured he would take on whoever the victor would be. 

Demons did a fine job of killing each other, so it was not all together a terrible strategy. 

“That would be preferable,” he agreed for good measure. “So long as every youkai scum is dead.” 

“You speak my language, it seems.” 

“And it has been my pleasure to do so.” Sesshoumaru seemed reasonably confident he had earned these men’s trust enough to request his freedom returned. When he slowly began to stand, he was not met with resistance. “But as I have said, I must take the hanyou to the tiger province to collect my payment. So if you could release him to me, I would get off of your mountains as quickly as possible.” 

“Your own half-brother,” the man drawled with a grin. It was almost said with admiration. “You are cold as ice, my friend. We could use a man like you in our ranks.” He was looking at him very intently once again, his eyes thoughtful and curious. “What about the girl?” 

It took everything he had for Sesshoumaru to show no outward emotion. He never had to work so hard to appear indifferent. 

“The girl?” 

“Yes. The pretty priestess.” He gestured to his bound brother then. “You have explained why you are escorting this filth, but why her?” 

The moment’s pause he took to think proved long enough for the man with the scar to reach his own conclusions. 

“Never mind. I think I know why.” He wore a smug grin then, as if he’d just figured him out. “It is a long journey from the Western Lands. The nights get cold up North. You brought her along to keep your dick warm, am I right?” 

He was hesitant to answer. Despite their ‘common goals’ he could not be certain they would leave her to him simply because he claimed her. He needed to give her a cover that would ensure her safe return to him. 

“Believe me, I understand. It does get lonely on these mountains. And she is a pretty one.” For a moment, he thought she was safe. But that was until he saw the lingering gaze he leveled at the miko. A gaze that once again had him itching to lunge for his sword. “I’m afraid I can’t release her to you.” 

The trace of regret in his voice did little to temper Sesshoumaru’s rage. He began to see red as his commanding nature started to seep through. 

“You will-” 

“You are in no position to be giving me orders, I’m afraid,” he cut him off quickly. Flippantly. Totally unfearful. “Even though I do like you. And I must keep your hanyou as well.” He looked down to his recent acquisitions, then turned back to Sesshoumaru. “Sorry about the money, but I have need of him here. And I definitely have need of her.” The suggestive look he leveled her with left no question of his intentions. “I hope she wasn’t too special to you.” 

“She is nothing to me,” he insisted firmly; immediately. “And I’m afraid I must warn you against taking her for yourself.” 

“Oh yeah?” the man asked, his tone dripping with amusement. “What are you going to do about it?” 

He put his hand threateningly on his hilt, while the other two lifted their guns. 

“Nothing, but you misunderstand. I did not bring her along for my own pleasures. I would not take the risk. And I highly suggest you do not either.” 

“What risk?” Kagome remained silent as the scarred man looked at her suspiciously. Sesshoumaru couldn’t bear to look at her. If he did, he wasn’t sure he could do what he was about to. He reminded himself it was only for her safety. 

“She was a favorite bedmate of my captain,” he began. “Best soldier I have ever seen, and a good friend. Until one day, he began complaining of pain in his manhood.” The man looked over to Kagome again, but Sesshomaru spoke quickly so as to regain the man’s focus. “He asked me to take a look, and what I saw still haunts me to this day. Blisters. Peeling. Oozing. Bleeding... His cock became so raw, there was not an inch that was not festering in sores.” He saw the man’s countenance become slightly horrified at the description, but Sesshoumaru shrugged casually in response and continued. 

“I wrote it off as some sort of freak ailment, until several of my men became subjected to the same horrid sickness. I thought perhaps it was a curse of some kind. I looked tirelessly for a witch who could aid my comrades, until I realized what they all had in common.” 

His forced his gaze to harden before he fixed it on the miko sitting on the ground. She appeared unaffected by his account, and he didn’t know how he felt about that. 

“They all frequented that little whore right there. Needless to say, this priestess was anything but pure.” As soon as all eyes turned to her, Sesshoumaru removed his. He couldn’t stand to look her way as he dragged her though the mud. 

“Fifteen of my best men became damaged beyond repair. Their wives became barren.” He looked intently at the scarred man. “They live every day in constant pain.” Then made eye contact with each of the gunmen. “Several lost the use of their manhood. One soldier’s case was so bad, he had to have it amputated.” 

All three men winced in phantom pain at the prospect, so he continued. 

“Such damage to my army is considered an act of treason. So when I arranged to bring the hanyou to the tigers, I thought to sweeten the deal by delivering the miko as well. I figured a lifetime of being ravaged by demons was fitting punishment. And at the same time, I could infect those filthy cats as well, and be paid for the pleasure.” He smirked, as if proud of himself, but both Kagome and Inuyasha noticed the absence of amusement in his features. He was putting on a show. He then returned his intent gaze to the leader. 

“But I cannot in good conscious allow my fellow man to be knowingly subjected to torment. Therefore, I beg of you not partake of her deceptively innocent body.” 

A heavy silence hung in the air as the men tried to digest what he had told them. 

“Kami,” the leader finally said. “She didn’t get you, did she?” 

“No,” he assured them firmly. “I would not lay a finger on that filthy woman. And I suggest you do not either.” 

“Thanks for the warning, friend.” The man seemed genuinely relieved, before plastering an evil grin on his face. “And very diabolical. It’s genius.” Sesshoumaru forced a smug smile, as if he were pleased. 

“Though I’m afraid I still have use for her. I am certain there is enough cooking and cleaning, and other woman’s work to keep her busy enough.” 

He looked down at her again, a different kind of regret now in his eyes. 

“Pity though. I was looking forward to having her.” Kagome’s schooled features turned scornful at the man’s eyes lingering on her. This did not seem to affect him, and he turned back to Sesshoumaru. 

“And you. I’ve changed my mind. You seem to have a mind for military operations. Are you a general? Like your father?” 

“Indeed.” He lifted his chin proudly. “Fine guess.” 

“Ah, I know the type,” the man bragged with a cocky grin. “Sorry for your loss by the way.” 

Sesshoumaru did not react to that. 

“I know you have a resistance simmering in the West, but our victory in the North is all but assured.” He spared a glance to his fellow soldiers. “My men are loyal, and strong, but they lack a certain foresight that you appear to be brimming with. Not to mention a cold-blooded heart. I need a man like you to help push us over the top, finally take control.” 

He looked meaningfully into his stoic façade. “Would you be willing to take a look at our strategies? Maybe give my men some pointers on finally seizing these mountains so that we may move on to claim the Northern Lands from those filthy demons once and for all? When we are through, I assure you full cooperation of the North in aiding you to take down the vicious demon Lord of the West. From what I have heard of him, you will need all the help you can get.” 

He really had no choice. He could not prevent them from taking his packmates, unfortunately. And seeing as they were willing to kill him a minute ago, he figured he would do well to play along with their little plan. 

They seemed to place a measure of trust in his abilities, at least. Perhaps he could find a way to get them out of there. In fact, he vowed it. 

“Indeed. All you have heard is true. He is most vicious and bloodthirsty,” he paused, and leveled his purposeful gaze at him. “and his vengeance is swift and unforgiving.” 

“Then we must conquer him on the first go. Do you agree?” 

Sesshoumaru nodded. How could he refuse? 

“I will help your men earn victory. Then you will aid me in mine.” 

They just had no idea what role they were going to play. But when he got his revenge, they would be there. 

“Excellent.” 

With a nod at the gunmen, he issued the signal to lift Inuyasha up by his scruff. The until now uncharacteristically silent hayou wailed in pain at being placed harshly onto his feet. His leg appeared to have stopped bleeding - the DIY tourniquet had done well – but enough damage had been sustained to make applying any pressure very painful. 

“Shame about your father,” the scarred man offered as he regarded the cursing half breed. Then, he slid his gaze back to Sesshoumaru. “You must be very bitter that he disgraced your mother by laying with that filth.” 

Sesshoumaru met his eyes before boring them intensely into his brother. 

“You have no idea.” 

Inuyasha appeared to be aware of Sesshoumaru’s intentions with this, but he could still only the hope the pained look he received was merely a result of his physical state. 

The man patted him on the shoulder then, surprising him with his audacious familiarity. 

“Well, were gonna make the whelp pay, don’t you worry about that.” He looked between the brothers for a moment, before appearing to get a stroke of inspiration. This concerned Sesshoumaru. “But you know what? Since you are missing out on a sale because of me and my army, I’m gonna give you a free shot.” 

With another nod, the gunman held Inuyasha by his collar, barely keeping him on his feet as he propped him in front of Sesshoumaru. 

His hands were still bound in front of him, and he wore a look of excruciating pain. 

Sesshoumaru turned his bored façade over to the leader, who was grinning in anticipation. 

“There is no honor in striking a bound man.” 

With that, the leader grabbed Sesshoumaru by the shoulder, leading him closer. 

“True, but this is not a man. Not really.” He may appear human now, but all he saw was the beast who had entered the mountains. If he only knew... “Do you not despise his kind? Do you not despise him for shaming your family?” 

He had no response to that. He had no desire to hit his brother. Certainly not while he was restrained. But he needed these men to think he loathed demons, as they did. If he couldn’t convince them, he might end up a slave like him, if they chose not to kill him. 

“Hit him,” he urged again, leaning in closer. “Do it for your mother. Do it for your race.” 

He looked over at the expectant man, and made his decision. Without an ounce of emotion, he drew back his fist, and hit Inuyasha square in the stomach. 

He couldn’t hold too much back. It had to look real. He had to look like he hated him. There was a time when he could have easily pulled off such a feat. Now, it was anything but natural. 

Inuyasha choked and gasped at the hard blow, and wailed in pain as he was forced to stagger on his feet. Were it not for the gunman holding him up, he would have been writhing on the ground again. The other three men only laughed at his plight. The leader most of all. He patted him appreciatively on the shoulder once again. 

“Man, cold as ice. I love it.” 

He couldn’t bear to look at the miko. He didn’t want to see how she saw him right now. 

Luckily, the man continued to distract him. 

“Alright well, first thing you can do is carry your pathetic brother for us. Don’t worry, it's not a long way back to the castle, but that leg don’t look very useful.” Then, he turned toward Kagome. His sudden excitement was nerve wracking. “I’m gonna carry the priestess. I doubt my fingers will suffer much damage.” 

As he made his way for the girl, Sesshoumaru side stepped to block his path. 

“I will carry the miko. Your first lesson is to keep your strength for battle. The hanyou can walk.” 

Though hardly in a position to make demands, his tone brooked no room for argument. The leader stared him down for a brief moment, before cracking another shameful smile at him. 

“Cold as ice,” he admired appreciatively, and then turned back to the others. “You heard the general. Get walking half breed. And keep up, or we’ll shoot you.” 

A flood of relief washed through him. He didn’t want to make his brother walk, but he was sure he would prefer to spare Kagome whatever molestation she was assured at having those cretin’s hands on her. There was no way he was letting any of them touch her. 

He noticed how the leader collected all of the weapons they’d taken from them. Apparently the miko’s bow was not worth claiming. He vowed, when this was over, he would get her a new one. A finer one. 

The men with the guns had their eyes on them, so there would be no brilliant escape. Yet. One got behind Inuyasha and forced him forward with the barrel, making him grunt with pain as he did his best to limp along on his thrashed leg. 

Sesshoumaru bent down to offer her his back, and she managed to scramble on. But when he hooked his arm around her knee, the terrible pained scream she emitted made him release her immediately, and set her back down on her butt. 

Then, he tried another way. Lifting her bridal style, he did his best to support her ass instead of beneath her knees. She didn’t scream this time, but she was obviously still hurting. 

“Better?” he asked quietly. He bent his face close to her ear hoping the others would not hear his concern. 

Despite her wince, she bravely nodded, and wrapped her arms around his neck. 

He tried to keep his steps even, so as not to disrupt her too much. He dipped low again, strands of her hair tickling his cheek as he whispered gently into her ear once more. 

“I’m sorry.” 

He didn’t know if he meant for her pain, or the unflattering backstory he’d given her, or for allowing her to get captured in general. But he felt it was the least he owed her. And he hoped he didn’t need to say that he would do everything in his power to get them out of this. 

“I trust you.” 

When she whispered back, he was completely mollified, though he wasn’t sure he deserved it. 

* * *

As they were led through the mountain, Sesshoumaru was doing his best to memorize the way. They had not been through these parts yet, and if they were going to get out of there, they would need a frame of reference. 

But, just like their entire doomed excursion, he had no idea where he was. No idea where they were going, and no way to know. The trees above prevented him from using the stars. His weak human sight made it impossible to discern surroundings. It was all he could do make sure he didn’t trip over anything and jostle the broken miko in his arms. 

When they escaped, they were just going to have to count on instinct and luck to guide them. He tried not to get discouraged by the thought. 

As long as he was here, however, he decided to make the most of his time. 

“Tell me more of this magic you use,” he commanded the scarred man. Juzo, he learned, was his name. 

As the man recruited for advising their battle plans, he was entitled to such information. 

“We’ve been using it against the pumas for years,” he began easily. Sesshoumaru was coming to learn that Juzo was more than happy to boast about his accomplishments. Particularly to a great military mind – like his – who could appreciate it. 

“We can bind them for capture.” He gestured to Inuyasha who was limping along behind impressively well and more or less silently. Grunts of pain would often escape him. “Infused with any weapon, it cannot be manipulated by youki for fast healing, so we can inflict severe damage. And it can camouflage anything we set it to, from traps all the way up to our fortresses, and even our very selves.” 

He went on to explain the many battles they had won against the pumas by rendering his men basically invisible. 

“But I could see through this façade?” Sesshoumaru asked, and Juzo nodded proudly. 

“Correct. It only affects youkai.” 

“Interesting.” Instantly, Sesshoumaru was strategizing how he would go about battling a foe with such abilities. The only obvious answer he could come up with would be to ally himself with humans to detect the magic for him. 

“Yeah, pretty sweet huh? It’s how we got those mangy pumas out of here. Not that they haven’t tried to use their magic for themselves,” offered the gunman who was not forcing Inuyasha forward. 

“Explain.” Sesshoumaru had been gradually slowing his pace as he spoke, so when he spoke to Juzo, he would be forced to slow as well. In turn, the brute with the gun to his brother’s back would stop stabbing him with it every time he took a break to rest his leg. 

Juzo answered for his underling. 

“Living near us for so long, they eventually learned how to make it themselves. It does not work against us, obviously, but they realized they can take it on the road, to use against their demon enemies.” 

He had already tried to inquire about how to make the magic. This was one tidbit Juzo would not be sharing with him. But that was fine. There was another topic he was much more interested in, and did his best to approach as casually as possible. 

“You said something about a plan to conquer the other lands?” 

He had a feeling this demon magic would play no small role. 

“That’s right. They are all over the country, using our magic to trick the surrounding demons. You know, test it out. They’ve been at it for months, actually. And those stupid mongrels don’t have a clue.” 

He hated to admit, this was the first he had heard of it. This fact did not please him. But he kept his tone passive. 

“And what is it exactly they are planning?” 

“I don’t know the exact plans,” Juzo admitted. “I know they have weapons and traps set all over the various lands. But their partnership with the elementals will surely prove the most devastating.” 

“Elementals?” This time, he was unable to keep the interest out of his voice. Elementals were notoriously neutral. Whenever approached to aid in the wars, they have always abstained. Even when offered very generous considerations. If the pumas had managed to gain their cooperation, it could be a problem. He would also be interested in how they had managed such a feat. 

“Yeah. They usually stay out of the affairs of the lands, so that’s why they will never see it coming when they help infiltrate the armies. There are already several traitors who have allied themselves with the elementals. They will give them the locations, and the elementals will know when to strike. The best part is, it looks like a natural accident. That’s where they are now, out making more allies. Soon as they have enough, the armies will begin to weaken. Youkai have no idea what’s coming.” 

Sesshoumaru repressed a scowl as he tried to recall any natural disasters having an effect during his battles. There were a couple instances where the weather had taken an abrupt, strange turn. Or when a forest fire would suddenly appear out of nowhere, and forced his soldiers to retreat. 

Unless a terrible coincidence, that meant he likely had a few traitors in his midst. How he would enjoy pouring through the ranks, and sussing them out, and making examples of them. 

He’d thought he handled this years ago, but it had been quite a while since he needed to remind his army why it was foolish to cross him. 

His list of to-dos for when he returned to himself was growing by the day. 

From her place in Sesshoumaru’s arms, Kagome could see his wheels turning. The muscle in his jaw became large, as she noticed it did when he clenched it too tight. It meant he was worrying over something. And though she had the urge to lift her hand to his cheek in a gentle suggestion that he stop, she understood that she was supposed to be the enemy, and shows of affection would spoil their cover. 

Instead, she subtly squeezed her arms more tightly around his neck, bringing herself slightly closer, and pulling him down a bit to her. He seemed to understand the significance, and dropped his gaze down to hers. 

She clicked her teeth silently twice at his curious look. And once he realized what she intended, he relaxed his jaw. They really were getting pretty great at reading each other, and the thought made barest of smiles appear on his lips, along with a softening of his eyes. She smiled back, before a voice from ahead scared her back into character. 

“Say, what’d you say your name was, bud? I’ve been talking to you this whole time, and I just realized I don’t know it.” 

He already decided to stop using his real name. If he wanted to protect the Western Lord, and the lands in which he lives, he couldn’t go around advertising his weakness. 

But he’d come prepared. 

“Yuta. Nakamoto.” 

When he returned his gaze to the miko in his arms, the small smile she’d worn before had graduated to one of considerable amusement, and she was doing her best to hide it by burying her face in his chest. He probably shouldn’t be trying to make her laugh, but at the moment, he couldn’t find it in him to care. 

* * *

At last, they’d made it to the castle. The long winter night wasn’t half gone, but Sesshoumaru had high hopes that by sunrise, Inuyasha would again be strong enough to heal, for one. And second, to bust free of his bindings and get them all out of there. 

But now, with more intimate knowledge of how this magic worked, they weren’t holding their breath. 

It was a modest castle – two main towers standing several tiers tall, but not terribly wide. Fine enough for humans trying to hide deep in the mountains. Apparently, this castle was concealed by the magic they used, so though they could see it, any demon to pass by would not. It has aided them greatly in their continued preservation. 

They’d arrived to the castle to a very warm reception. The top soldiers in the resistance lived on base, along with their wives. There were other fortresses throughout the area apparently, but this was the main property where the leaders of the movement gathered. 

Though about a dozen top officials called this place home, several more soldiers inside were always on duty, working patrol and guarding their secrets. This is where all of their plans of attack, and magic, and anything valuable was kept for use against demons in the uprising. 

Yuta had been introduced as the clever general leading the front against the demons of the West. But attention was mostly on the human who they swore was really a half breed, and his pretty young companion. 

Most denied their leader’s claim, insisting he was imagining things when he saw this human, and he had been mistaken to have took him for a hanyou. The other men were swarming predatorily around Kagome, until warning of her affliction came across, and stifled the attention. 

That was when the trio was forced to split up. Yuta insisted on carrying the miko down to the stone dungeon where she and Inuyasha would be locked up together, but he was finally made to relinquish his hold. He looked closely to see that the young man who carried her kept his hands to himself, and so far, he could see that he had. Inuyasha, who had impressively endured the trudge to the castle, would be forced to limp the rest of the way, with his guard escort, of course. 

Yuta, however, was invited into the den with the other soldiers. Apparently, Juzo was eager to get his thoughts on several of his strategies, and all were eager to get to know the young man their leader found so impressive on sight. 

A handful of the top official’s wives would also be in attendance, and – as it was a casual setting – drinks would be served as well. 

“We won’t lock you up like the others,” he graciously informed him, “but I’m afraid we can’t leave you unguarded until we know each other a little better.” 

With all the heavily armed soldiers about, Sesshoumaru was loathe to admit he wouldn’t be making his escape any time soon. He might as well get good and comfortable, and accept the sake Juzo prepared for him. 

“You want me to bound him?” one of his underlings asked. Juzo shook his head. 

“No need for that. Just keep your gun handy. I trust Yuta is going to fit in just fine.” He smiled at Sesshoumaru, who returned the gesture quite mockingly. Not that they knew the difference. 

“Let’s have a drink!” Juzo suggested, clapping a hand on his shoulder as they reached the den’s door at last. “I want to introduce you to the others.” 

* * *

He could see why they called it a den. ‘War Room’ was too generous, with the way these men carried on. 

They weren’t a completely disorderly lot; he’d certainly been party to worse. But planning for battle took dedication; serious considerations. Let alone toppling a regime. And though alcohol and women made for more entertaining fodder, in put into question their commitment to the cause. 

But perhaps he was being too judgmental. The few women in attendance were the wives of a handful of the soldiers present. And though the sake had been flowing generously – and continuously – these men appeared capable of holding their drink. It just made them a little cruder, a touch louder, and quite easily and heartily impressed with his suggestions. Not that they shouldn’t be. 

But in his experience, a more sullen, sober countenance was required prior to waging war. This gathering appeared more akin to a celebration, and was more appropriate after victory had been achieved. 

These men seemed quite happy to see him, and were becoming more so with each proposed tactic. And each bottle of sake. 

“Brilliant!” exclaimed the man who’d been introduced as Juzo’s captain. 

The highest ranking members of his army had crowded around Sesshoumaru at the end of the large table, and were growing increasingly excited with each suggestion he proposed. 

To his right was the captain, who watched on joyously as Sesshoumaru poured over the various maps and scrolls laid out before him. This man apparently had a poor concept of personal space, as he hadn’t been shy about leaning into his shoulder and remaining there for the duration of his most recent explanation. 

To his left was the lieutenant. Who, thankfully, was not so brazen or loud, and merely sat respectfully and watched the experienced warlord familiarize himself with their guard posts. 

“I told you he was good.” Juzo sat across from him; a smug smile and relaxed posture exuded his self-satisfaction in discovering the obvious professional and recruiting him for their purposes. Sesshoumaru’s competency seemed to validate his eye for talent, and therefor bolster his men’s confidence his ability to lead them to victory. 

He was content to simply sit there and enjoy his sake, next to his wife who was doing the same, and watch this general of the West give his opinions on everything his men asked him. 

“He’s better than good, the man’s a genius!” the captain praised again. Though when he once again grabbed his shoulder in what was intended to be a friendly gesture, Sesshoumaru found little solace in the man’s infuriating audacity. “I’ve never seen such impressive strategies as these. Those pumas aren’t going to see us coming.” 

Another round of drinks commemorated another approved formation, and Sesshoumaru began to wonder how long it was going to take for the sake to do him a favor and put these men to sleep. 

With the way they were going, however, it seemed this army had developed quite an immunity. It was going to take a while. Inwardly, Sesshoumaru sighed. 

There was little he could do. Though nothing compared to his own army, theirs was admittedly not completely ineffectual. They had a rather impressive track record, and were obviously not without abilities. For humans. 

These men had good minds for war. They had clearly put a good deal of thought into their revolution. And for going up against a powerful demon house, their success rate was worthy of acknowledgement. 

Their weapons were impressive, and he should know. Each man in the room proudly brandished his own personal arsenal on his hip, strapped to his back, or even simply in his grasp. And all the other soldiers – the lower level guards who he had witnessed come and go from the room, or patrolling around the castle – were more than minimally armed. 

And he – at the moment – was decidedly not. And currently, to his dismay, also the center of these armed men’s rapt focus. Escape was going to be challenging, and not for the first time his thoughts drifted from the playbooks he was supposed to be scrutinizing to his packmates locked away in the dungeon. He worried for their safety, and hoped these men were at least bright enough to protect their investment and not subject their intended workforce to torture. 

But he couldn’t do anything about that now. For now, he had to play along and earn himself a measure of their trust. His best move right now was to comply with their demands, demonstrate his value, and hopefully earn enough respect to be allowed some time to his own devices. Then, he could make his move. He just hoped it wouldn’t be too long. 

“Forget the pumas, not a single neko youkai in the North is going to be able to stop us!” another of the gathered soldiers gleefully proclaimed. “With Yuta here, we will own this land in no time.” 

He did his best to appear gracious, and appreciative of their praise, but it was his fantasies of gutting these men with their own swords which was the real inspiration for the modest smile gracing his lips. 

“You can’t give him back.” The lieutenant finally deigned to speak, and Sesshoumaru was not pleased with the words he had chosen. He turned cautiously to the man on his left, trying not to glare too hard at his assessment. “We can run the whole country with these bullet proof tactics. I can’t wait to see what else he can do for us.” 

The other men seemed to agree, as various approving noises could be heard in between cups being refilled. To his surprise, Juzo interjected. 

“Now men, I gave him my word I would release him without incident as soon as the North is ours, and I keep my promises.” Sesshoumaru hid his surprise as he watched the leader admonish his men. “After we take the North, we will help him take the West, and we shall all be allies. No need to be greedy.” 

Groans of disappointment made their rounds, but Juzo met Sesshoumaru’s eyes with a friendly smile, and nodded once at him. 

Sesshoumaru, in a silent act of gratitude, returned the gesture. 

The man was far from honorable, but it appeared even he had his code. 

“Good looking guy too. How’d you like to meet my sister?” Sesshoumaru’s attention traveled over to the soldier who asked the question just in time to hear the amused reaction from the rest of the group. A few of the men made comments on her attractiveness – or lack thereof – causing the man to punch another in the shoulder for speaking rudely of his kin. A few threats were made regarding the other’s responses, and the lieutenant began clearing the scrolls in front of him to put in safe keeping. 

“No thank you,” Sesshoumaru answered politely as he watched the maps in front of him disappear. “I have someone waiting for me when I return.” 

This got an intrigued reaction from a few of the men, while others were losing interest in the absence of war talk, and began busying themselves with more wine and engaging in side conversations. 

“Oh, you have a woman?” When the lieutenant rose to lock away their new plans, another man took his seat to better interrogate their guest. 

“Of course he does, look at him.” He looked up to see Juzo’s wife smiling at him, and the woman sitting beside her giggled softly into her hand. Juzo didn’t seem upset by his wife’s assessment, and didn’t even look her way as she rose her wine to her lips once again. 

“What’s she look like? Is she hot?” He held the woman’s gaze a moment longer, before turning back to the man who’d addressed him. Before he could answer, another of the soldiers eagerly cut him off. 

“I bet she is. What’s the sexiest thing about her?” 

It appeared deep in these mountains, those not lucky enough to have wives were not blessed with many female visitors. It made him more nervous about having Kagome here. He knew his warning would likely not ward the more desperate men off for long. 

Of the small group that remained at the table, all eyes were expectantly on him. Juzo, and the women, wore looks of mild amusement, while the single men at the table seemed hungry for lewd descriptions. But it wasn’t only for the mixed company that gave his chaste answer. 

“Her eyes.” The reaction he got was instantaneous and varied. The single soldiers groaned loudly in obvious disappointment, while others chuckled lightly at the harmless answer. A couple of the wives swooned appreciatively, causing a whole new round of disapproval from the single men at the table. 

“Pfft. That’s what you tell the women, but level with us.” The man at Sesshoumaru’s side leaned in conspiratorially, and even his human senses could scent the sake permeating from his breath. The intensity of his gaze relayed his seriousness. “She have big tits?” he asked earnestly. 

Boisterous laughter from the men followed. Even the until now reserved Juzo indulged in a light chuckle. But the women rolled their eyes disapprovingly, and Juzo’s wife saw fit to chastise the crude young man. 

“Shut up, you slime. Not all men are dogs like you.” Sesshoumaru turned his gaze back to her at the ironic word choice, but said nothing. “I think its sweet that he likes her eyes.” 

Her own shone with approval, and he found himself somewhat captivated by her obvious satisfaction with him. 

“Well I don’t wanna hear about some pretty girl’s eyes.” A slap on his arm tore him away from the woman once again. “C’mon, tell me. What was the first thing you really noticed about her that made you just want to split her in two?” 

He tried to hide his distaste, though he was afraid his annoyance was ill-concealed. Still, he was trying to develop a rapport with these men. So what was the harm in indulging him a little? 

The man appeared to be on baited breath for his answer. Sesshoumaru was further convinced that there must not be any women who traveled this way. 

Finally, he humored him. 

“She has very nice legs.” 

This seemed to satisfy him, and a large grin spread across his features. 

“There we go. Long?” he asked eagerly. Sesshoumaru couldn’t help but smirk at his desperation. 

“Very. And shapely.” 

“Nice,” he replied, finally pleased. “Bet you just her to wrap them around you and -” 

“Alright, it's getting a bit too rowdy in here.” Juzo’s wife stood, and placed a hand on her husband’s shoulder while looking down at him expectantly. “I’m getting ready for bed. You coming?” 

Juzo gestured to the piles of paperwork before him before tilting his head back to respond. 

“No, I have more work to do. But sleep well, my dear.” 

She huffed in mild disappointment, but easy acceptance. She leaned over to give him a brief kiss, and bid her goodbyes to the others before making her exit. 

Sesshoumaru watched her go, wondering if now would be an appropriate time to ask to retire. Perhaps once he was alone, he would be able to devise a plan for getting them out of the castle. 

They appeared to be done strategizing for the evening. Most of the men had involved themselves in other conversations, and gotten up to move around. Juzo was speaking to his captain, and referring to one of the many scrolls in front of him, but as far as Sesshoumaru could tell, their need of him had expired for the moment, thank kami. 

“Will I have somewhere to sleep?” he finally asked, interrupting the seemingly inconsequential conversation Juzo was having. He was pleased when he nodded immediately. 

“Of course. We are setting you up with your own room.” He placed his page down to give him his full attention. “It's got everything you need. We treat our own well.” Sesshoumaru nodded in understanding, and felt a measure of relief at the news. Juzo’s sudden apologetic cadence had him a bit worried, however. “Unfortunately, since you’re still new, we’re gonna have to lock you up, just for precaution.” 

It wasn’t exactly a surprise. These men were crass, but they were not fools. 

But every prison had its weak spot. He just needed to find it. 

“It's getting late I suppose. We can pick this up tomorrow.” When he stood, Sesshoumaru instantly followed. Juzo walked around the table to lead him out. “And don’t worry, we’ll have some nice little chores for your companions to get into tomorrow.” He supposed that was intended to be for his benefit, as well as the wink that accompanied it. “We’ll stick it to ‘em extra for your mother... and your captain.” 

Once ushered out of the den, Juzo signaled one of his guards over. The man with the gun quickly complied. 

“Toshiji, go show Yuta to his room. Make sure he has all he needs, and lock him up nice and tight.” 

Sesshoumaru watched as he then handed the guard a very large ring holding multiple keys, and a burst of hopeful excitement coursed through him. The ones for the dungeon had to be on there, and a plan instantly began to form in his head. All he needed was a moment of opportunity. 

He watched subtly, yet intently, as his escort received them from his boss and shoved them into his armor. 

“Yes sir.” With a bow, the guard insistently urged Sesshoumaru to follow him, and he did. 

“Sleep well, Nakamoto. You did good today.” He looked over his shoulder to see the leader waving him off. He appeared to be waiting to return to the den until he was out of sight. Sesshoumaru did not respond, only returned his focus forward, and began assessing his surroundings on the journey to his room. 

They passed several armed guards on the way to the staircase, and a few more as they ascended. It was a large, multi-tiered structure which was built into the center of the castle. There was no wall encasement, so the comings and goings of the stairway were fairly exposed. Each time they reached a new floor, access was blocked by a single gunman who stood at attention. Toshiji would acknowledge each one he passed, before continuing upward as he led Sesshoumaru through the castle. 

Finally, they reached his floor, and with a nod, the soldier guarding it stepped aside and allowed the two of them passage. The tightness of security was not promising, nor when they entered through the door to find yet another guard standing on the inside – of course with gun in hand. Sesshoumaru eyed him warily as they passed him to make their way down a long hall. 

“Your room is nice. Its right down the hall from the boss’s, so he can keep an eye on you.” Toshiji causally filled him in as he tried to gage the area. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much to appraise. Long stretches of wooden walls were bare. And so far, the only door they passed had been closed. There appeared to be a window at the end of the hall, but the long curtain prevented him from taking in the view. “But you’re three stories up, so you still get a window. Don’t expect you’ll be jumping anytime soon.” 

He doubted the young man was astute enough to read his thoughts, but he still offered him a modest glare for his comment. 

“Perhaps a little trust is in order for one who is to be such a valued ally.” 

“Trust comes with time. It is your value which calls for the security.” Toshiji spared him a quick glance as they came upon a door to their right. “But it could be worse, you could be in the dungeon with your brother and the whore.” 

He could easily disarm this man in an instant. Relieve him of his weapon, take his keys, and shoot him dead for his insolence. But then what? There was no clear way out of here, that he could see. And even if there was, there was still the matter of getting to the others and freeing them. Not to mention dragging their crippled bodies out of there. 

“Is the dungeon accessible from the castle?” he tried to ask as evenly as possible. The man’s gaze remained forward. 

“You need a key to get to the basement, then a key to get through the tunnel,” he saw no harm in informing him. “The tunnel is underground, and takes you to the detached dungeon in the side tower. Don’t worry, they ain’t going nowhere.” 

So the dungeon was next door. That made it even harder, not that it wasn’t proving exceedingly difficult already. With the way they kept this castle so well manned, he did not doubt there would be several men with guns at every turn. Simply breaking in was looking like less and less an option. He was going to have to come up with another way to get down there. But what? 

They passed by the door, so Sesshoumaru figured his room must be the next one. 

“That priestess was pretty tasty. I believe after this, I will go down and pay her a visit.” 

He snapped his head harshly over to him, and made no attempts to hide his sneer. 

“Fool, did you not hear my warning?” 

The man didn’t bother looking at him, only lifted his shoulders in a casual shrug. 

“There are ways around that. I’ll just use another entrance.” Sesshoumaru’s shoulder’s instantly tensed. “I’m sure others have already thought of it, but I want to make sure I’m there first.” 

As if things weren’t bad enough, his urgency immediately tripled. He thought he might have a few days to gain the men’s trust, maybe learn of their schedules and rotations and eventually come up with a plan. But he saw how some of these men behaved. He was running out of time. He needed to get them out of there now. With each hour that passed, the miko’s safety would be placed in greater peril. 

He was considering disregarding his previous notions and grabbing his gun anyway. At least it would give him a chance, albeit not a good one, and then this cretin guard would not be touching her for certain. His fingers itched at his side. 

“Toshiji, come here please.” 

The blood roaring in his ears prevented him from hearing the door open behind them, but both men halted when they heard the feminine command. 

It seemed the door they passed was the one belonging to Juzo, as his wife stood at the threshold. 

Sesshoumaru was surprised to see her there, and was more than a little interested as to why she required his guard. 

Toshiji turned to her and offered his bow. 

“Yes Otoha-sama, but first I need to lock up Yuta-” 

“Bring him with, this is urgent.” 

Sesshoumaru turned around, and looked between the leader’s wife who stood in the doorway, and his guard escort who seemed frozen in indecision. 

What was going on here? Opportunity, perhaps? His eyes were wide open for any chance he may be given to escape. 

He simply waited to see what the man would do, and it was clear he was torn between following order’s and obeying his boss’s wife. 

She seemed aware of his plight. 

“Do not make me tell my husband you disobeyed me.” 

She turned to retreat into her room, leaving the door open for them to follow. He made brief eye contact with an expectant Sesshoumaru before gesturing for him to follow after the woman. 

The room was not overly large or gaudy. It was a modest castle, after all. A quick glance around revealed a futon on a raised platform against the back wall, and on another was a decently sized window. The curtains were drawn, but it was far too dark to make out anything outside. 

There was small area in the corner set up to take meals, and a desk beside that. And in the other corner, there appeared to be a closet of sorts. 

Once they were inside, Toshiji closed the door behind them. The guard quickly identified the strange scent filling the air. 

“Are you smoking opium?” he asked incredulously. Looking to the low table beside the bed, Sesshoumaru could see the man had guessed correctly. A small wooden pipe was still smoking, and set down beside a traveling pouch. She didn’t need to respond, but she didn’t seem overly concerned with being found out. She didn’t seem overly concerned with anything at the moment. Her eyes were half-lidded, and she wore a discrete smile on her painted lips. “You know the boss said he would have my ass if he caught you getting into that again.” 

She shrugged, obviously unperturbed, and took a seat on her futon. 

“Then he better not find out, for both our sakes.” 

Sesshoumaru watched on curiously as the soldier appeared to seethe. These two clearly had some sort of history, though to what degree he could not be certain. 

Toshiji managed to bottle his disapproval, and addressed the woman sternly. 

“What did you need?” 

Her careless gaze slid to Sesshoumaru then, and just like downstairs, she’d locked him in with it. Something about the way she looked at him earned his undivided attention. Not that there was anything else interesting to look at in this room. 

“I need a word with Yuta. You are dismissed.” She had yet to break his passive gaze, but the soldier’s regard turned suspicious. It was clear she made him nervous. 

“I was ordered to lock him in his room,” he informed her plainly. “I can’t just leave him with you, for whatever you are planning. The boss would kill me for sure.” 

Finally, she returned her attention to Toshiji, a mocking smile playing at her lips. 

“And would your wife, when I tell her I saw you with the kitchen maid last week, hm?” 

He blanched, and Sesshoumaru cocked an eyebrow at the man while he watched the drama unfold. 

“You promised you wouldn’t-” 

“And I won’t, so long as you don’t defy me,” she coolly assured him. “I’ll lock him away when I'm through, don’t you worry about that.” 

She held out her hand expectantly. 

Toshiji’s harsh glare looked intended to burn holes, but it appeared she had the upper hand. After another moment, he relented. 

“Dammit, alright.” He pulled the large ring of keys out of his armor, and placed them in her hand none too gently. “Just don’t forget. You’re lucky I have business in the dungeon to take care of.” 

He seemed to realize something as he watched her inventory the key’s in her grasp. 

“Speaking of which, I’m gonna need the keys to downstairs.” 

Now it was his turn to hold out his hand, as he waited for her to remove the ones he asked for and give them to him. She seemed to consider his request, but only for a moment. 

“I think not,” she decided, and his face fell. “That poor girl has been through enough tonight. I'll be sure Juzo gets these back.” 

He was shocked at her refusal, but it turned quickly to anger. It was obvious he was searching for a way to respond, but there appeared to be little he could do. Her condescending smirk did not improve his mood. 

“Now go back to your wife, before I sit her down for a long-overdue chat.” 

With one last withering glare, he turned hotly from the woman. Though Sesshoumaru’s face remained passive, the soldier seemed aware of his mockery, and brushed past him quickly to see himself out. 

But before he made it to the door, the woman called after him with one last command. 

“Don’t forget to report back to my husband first. Make sure to tell him it all went smoothly. We can’t have him tearing away from his work just to check on yours, can we?” 

He didn’t turn to respond to her, just continued on his way. She watched with a smile as the door shut behind him, and returned her gaze to Sesshoumaru. When she did, she noticed the way his attention danced curiously around the room. That same scrutinizing eye that had been studying their maps and posts was now perusing her bedroom, and it was little mystery why. 

“I see you already planning your escape, but don’t bother.” At the sudden address, he returned his focus to the strange woman once again. “I’m sure you passed all the guards in the halls and stairway on the way up. All men are armed here, and they will shoot you down no matter how brilliant a tactician.” 

As grateful as he was for her interference, he did not appreciate her casual threat. Still, he had yet to discern what she wanted, so he plastered on an insincere smile and bowed his head slightly in deference. 

“What can I do for you, my lady?” 

Without the burden of company, she finally allowed herself to take him in. She made no attempts to hide her perusal as she looked him up and down meticulously. 

He remained still; back straight, shoulders squared, chin high, and simply waited to see what it was this woman wanted with him. 

He had his suspicions, but he couldn’t exactly peg her. 

She’d interfered in his confinement, and whether she intended to resume it remained to be seen. She’d been pleasant to him downstairs, in fine contrast to the soldiers. But most importantly, she prevented that vermin from getting down to Kagome tonight. For that, he was most grateful. 

At this point, he couldn’t tell if she simply wished him to warm her bed, or if she may be willing to aid in his escape. Perhaps the two options were not mutually exclusive. 

And if it was only the former, perhaps it might lead to the latter. 

“Opium?” she finally asked, nodding her head to the night table. His eyes never left hers. 

“No, thank you.” 

His attention drew to her hands, where she still held the keys the guard had given her. She leaned over to place them on her table, and his hopes soared. If he could get those keys from her, he could get to the dungeons. Of course, he would still need a way to pass all those guards, but one thing at a time. This could be his first break. 

After setting down the keys, she reached over to grab her pipe, still smoking from her earlier use, and stood. It only took three steps to be standing before him, close enough to touch. 

“I’m afraid I must insist.” She held it up to him expectantly, only inches from his face. From there, the smell was undeniably stronger. Her countenance was inviting, yet brooked no room for argument. He continued to meet her gaze, trying to figure her out. Since he’d yet to succeed, he decided his best course was to humor her for now. 

“Then how can I refuse?” 

He’d sampled opium as a demon. Even as a young demon, the human drug had no effect on his senses. He was far too strong to be altered by human vices in any way. But he remembered Kagome’s magic pills. She’d told him they were the same. And the incredible relief he felt after taking them proved he now was certainly susceptible. 

What was the harm? Might as well enjoy the sensation while he had the chance. Once he changed back, he would not have the opportunity. 

Besides, after taking those pills, he turned back into a demon for the night. Kagome said it was unrelated, but if she was wrong, this would be a great time to transform. 

He accepted it from her. And without further hesitation he lifted it to his lips and took a good, long pull of smoke through the pipe, and held it in. After several unhurried seconds, he exhaled through his nostrils until all of it was expelled. 

Instantly, a peaceful contentment washed over him, actually surprising him with its potency. 

The pills hadn’t worked so quickly, but the warmth rushing through his body and setting in his bones was not an unwelcome sensation. Suddenly, all of the stress and dread over his current situation did not seem so acute. His troubles were not forgotten completely, but the gravity of them had dulled considerably. 

She took the pipe back from him, and returned it to rest beside the keys on her table. When she turned to him again, she noticed his posture hadn’t altered. His half-lidded gaze was the only thing betraying his relaxation. 

“Don’t listen to that idiot downstairs,” she told him as she made her way over to her door, and locked them inside. “I think your devotion to your beloved is sweet. It is clear you really care for her.” 

“Indeed I do.” Her voice sobered him a bit, and he watched her reclaim the space directly in front of him. She was close, but far enough away that she didn’t have to tilt her head back to accommodate for the height difference. 

“Have you been away from her long?” she asked. 

Sesshoumaru shook his head. 

“Not terribly.” 

Her hooded gaze was still intense, and never left him. She was very curious of him, but she also seemed genuinely concerned. If she was feigning her sympathy, she was doing an excellent job of it. 

“Still, you must really miss her.” A long pause ensued, and it was clear she expected him to fill it. 

But he didn’t know how to respond to her assessment, so he simply didn’t. The opium hadn’t rendered him useless, simply a touch slower than he would have otherwise been. She tried again. 

“It is difficult to be away from the one we wish to share our life with.” 

Still unclear of her intentions, he was eager to get to the point. He was going to get those keys one way or another, he was just waiting on her to tell him which method he would choose. 

He didn’t want to be too rash, because she might offer to help him voluntarily. If she were willing to advise him, or escort him, it would be preferable to just sneaking – or more likely, forcing – his way through. So to speed things along, he offered her an opening. 

“Luckily you have no such troubles. Your husband is right downstairs.” 

He didn’t know what to make of the little half smirk she gave him. Her eyes were still assessing him; cautiously confident. 

“Yes, but he might as well be miles away. He is so obsessed with the revolution; he hardly makes time for me these days.” 

“War can be a harsh mistress,” he conceded. “but it cannot be ignored. Without it, the life you enjoy may cease to exist.” 

It was becoming clear what it was she desired of him. Turns out his initial suspicion had been correct. And though seducing her could prove a successful method of obtaining his freedom, he was the first to admit it was not ideal. 

She was fair enough. She was not terribly annoying. She was obviously no fool. 

But Kagome would not be pleased. She had made her feelings perfectly clear on the matter. And if he went through with this, there was a good chance she would not entertain his advances. 

But if he didn’t get down to the dungeon soon, none of it would matter anyway. It was only a matter of time before those soldiers got their hands on her. And once they found out she was not tainted, it would be open season. 

And what was he telling himself earlier, before he’d found his brother in the trap? He needed to get his priorities in order, put the mission above his romantic ambitions. 

Getting her out of here was most important. If he could seduce this woman into aiding his escape, he should consider himself fortunate for even having the option. Kagome would get over it. And if she didn’t... well, then she didn’t. He could live with the consequences. 

“I find so little to be joyful about lately. Not much excites me.” 

The cautious look in her eye became bolder, and he knew what to expect. 

“You excite me.” He watched as she prowled closer to him, and finally lifted her hand to run her finger tips experimentally along his chest. He allowed it, remaining still. “You are obviously a strong man. A brilliant man. An accomplished soldier.” Her attention drew over to his missing sleeve, and the exposed, muscular arm its absence revealed. “This body has accomplished many great things, has it not?” 

He watched her continue to softly touch him; followed her hands with his eyes as she played with the edges of his haori. 

“It has,” he confirmed. “Though I should like to think it’s glory days are not behind it.” 

As she continued to finger the material, his gaze drifted from his chest over to hers. The part in her kimono revealed a breathtaking sight, and he was captivated by what she bared to him. 

“Do you like looking at my chest?” she boldly asked, easily noticing his distraction. 

At being caught, his entranced look took on a slightly more sheepish quality, and he offered an appreciative smile. 

“Actually, I was admiring your necklace. Are those-” 

“Diamonds,” she confirmed, removing her hand from him to reach up and touch the jewels at her throat. “from the youkai mines in the East. My husband killed a demon who had this made for this mate.” She caressed the jewelry appreciatively as she continued to explain. “I despise those youkai, but you have to admire their craftsmanship.” 

He lifted his own hand as well, and she drew a sharp breath when he placed his hand over hers atop the impressive necklace. Several rows of white diamonds glimmered as they cascaded down her chest, narrowing to a point as if directing him to the valley of her breasts. 

Most impressive, however, was how two thin rows of the diamonds circled all the way around her neck. Somehow, the youkai diamonds did not require a chain, but rather infused together. Bonding to one another, so only diamond after diamond glittered and shone, and laid comfortably and naturally around the base of her neck. 

“Indeed. My mother had one just like it.” He used the pads of his fingers and thumb to trace along the priceless gems, and soon discovered his hand was large enough to wrap all the way around her dainty throat. He stretched his hand wide, and she gasped when she felt the center of his palm press firmly against her trachea, only to relax again when dragged his fingertips down either side of her necklace in unison, finally to meet in the middle right above her cleavage. “There is no finer jewel in the lands. Your husband must really care for you.” 

He withdrew then, but he left heat in more places than he touched. Just the notion that he could take her life by simply closing his hand around her sent a thrill coursing through her entire form. 

“May I ask a personal question, Nakamoto-san?” she asked, very aware of her own heavy breathing. 

“Of course.” The sparkle of her diamonds reflected the one in his eyes. They appeared to encourage it, at the almost ravenous way he was regarding them. 

“Your beloved; she has yet to give herself to you, ne?” 

When he declined to answer, she lost a bit of her courage, causing her to blush and slightly recoil. 

“Sorry, I know that’s forward. But I have an eye for these things. The same way I can tell when a man hasn’t known a woman’s touch in far too long.” 

He raised an eyebrow at her in genuine curiosity. 

“Oh? How could you discern such a thing?” 

Her spent confidence was quickly replenished, and her smile reflected that. She inched closer to him again, and placed her hands atop each of his shoulders. 

“Mostly, it's your posture,” she began, and squeezed lightly around the base of his neck. “The stiffness in your spine, the squareness of your shoulders.” She stopped squeezing, but left her hands where they were as she looked into his eyes. Now her head was forced to tilt back. “And then there is the way you speak. You have not been able to relax in far too long. You just seem... tight.” 

They held each other’s eyes intently, the insinuation not lost on either of them. 

“I have always been this way,” he finally admitted. She gave him another sympathetic look, and ran the flats of her palms firmly down his chest, and back up slowly. 

“Poor thing.” 

She repeated the rubbing action several times, all while never dropping his gaze. They seemed to be moving closer, at an incredibly slow pace. 

“Tell me, are you not tight?” he asked, and placed his hands on her hips. It didn’t take much to pull them into his. “You look very tight.” 

When he began to dip his head, she curled her hand behind his nape and pulled him in, crashing their lips together. Her other hand was in his hair, and she pressed her chest firmly against his. 

Her kiss was desperate, and permissive. This woman was somewhat demanding, and not afraid to take what she wanted. He took this as a blessing. It meant he would not be forced to initiate much progress between them. He could go along with this, do what must be done. But he did not want this woman; had no interest in perusing her or attempting to entice her. 

It was going to be hard enough to get through this without dwelling on what it might cost him. 

Her aggressiveness would allow him to simply turn his mind off, and acquiesce. So that was what he did. 

When they pulled apart, she squirmed out of his hold and quickly parted her kimono. In an instant, it was just a pile of silk on the floor, and she was standing in only her undergarments. She started in on his obi next. 

“Are you certain your husband will not find us?” he asked, helping her solve the knot. Once they did, it joined her kimono, and she was clawing feverishly at his haori. 

“Trust me, he will be down there until dawn working on his war strategies. You can have me as long as you need.” 

Once his haori was apart, and she was given an unobstructed view of his chiseled abs and chest, she decided she couldn’t wait to take it off him before she pressed herself to him again. 

She ran her hands over the hard muscle appreciatively until his lips found hers once more. When his tongue entered her mouth, she pressed her own exposed body against his naked torso and enjoyed the warm feel of his perfect skin on hers. 

His hands slid around to grab her ass, and pull her tightly to grind against him. She groaned at the friction, enjoying the feel of him a moment before finally tearing herself away. Growing increasingly impatient, she took him by the hand, and led him over to her bed. 

She got on her back while he loomed over her on his knees. Her excitement continued to mount when she watched him in all his glory as he peeled his shirt off the rest of the way, and she started rubbing circles into her own throbbing clit at the sight of the perfect specimen above her. 

He crawled forward then, propping himself up with one arm as his face hovered right above hers. 

She was smiling wide in anticipation, touching his chest again and thanking the kami for sending this beautiful man to please her. 

He lifted his hand to her chest, and once again, he was tracing the diamonds at her throat. Her eyes closed in pleasure at the simple contact, until he spoke again. 

“Will you remove this?” she cracked her eyes in time to see his amused, apologetic grin. “It reminds me of my mother.” 

With a giggle, she forced herself to sit, and he sat back on his knees so she could do so. She seemed to be struggling with it, so he scooted closer to offer his aid. With both his arms around her neck, he was able to release the lock. As soon as it was off, he put his lips to her throat, as if offering a replacement. 

She moaned at the attention, and he easily coaxed her back down onto the bed. 

She seemed to enjoy him kissing her throat. So, he relaxed his weight on top of her to continue while she arched into him. Small, dainty hands clawed at his back; raked through his hair, and stimulated him with the sensation. In response, he grabbed a hold of one of her covered breasts to gently caress, and when he finally gave it a rough squeeze, she nearly came undone. 

She was about to demand he do it again, but a firm, feverish pounding on her door stopped them cold. 

“Otoha!” 

They both instantly recognized the firm, angry voice of her husband on the other side, and after meeting each other’s eyes, quickly scrambled off the bed. 

“You have to hide!” she whispered, as she located his clothing on the floor and shoved it at him. He threw his haori over his shoulders, and tied his obi in a frantic, messy knot. She declined to dress herself, however, as she was more preoccupied with finding a place to stash him. 

“Where?” 

“Otoha! Open the door! I gave Toshiji my keys!” 

She forcefully began shoving him toward the closet. Seeing what she intended, Sesshoumaru resisted. 

He still doubted it was true, but the monk’s raunchy story warned against such a thing. 

Frustrated with his refusal, she began to panic. 

“No. He will find me,” Sesshoumaru insisted. She knew he was right, but they had no other options. 

“There’s nowhere else!” 

“Otoha! Who's in there with you?” 

Juzo sounded a good deal drunker than when they left him. So, it seemed the alcohol did have an effect. Just much later than he preferred. Hopefully, it would work in their favor. 

The monk’s story gave Sesshoumaru another idea, and he headed for the window. 

“What are you doing?” she demanded, still whispering as he opened it. 

“I shall hang out the window.” 

She wouldn’t have thought of that, but she was also afraid he might try to escape. If he got away, her husband would not be pleased. 

Then again, she could blame it on Toshiji... 

“Will you jump?” 

“Three stories?” he mocked. “I think not.” 

When he threw a leg over the sill, she grabbed ahold of his remaining sleeve. 

“Will you fall?” she asked worriedly, her genuine concern shifting away from his possible escape to his possible injury. But the man exuded confidence. 

“I am very strong,” he assured without an ounce of doubt. 

That, he was. Just the reminder of that firm body pressed against hers- 

She went in for another kiss. She couldn’t help it. But before he swung himself over, she stopped him. 

“Wait!” She demanded, and ran around the bed. He did, but the accusatory shouts from outside her door were growing louder and more insistent. 

When she returned, she thrusted the traveling pouch at him. He just looked at it, and quirked an eyebrow. 

“I’m in more trouble if he finds that than if he finds you. I need you to take it.” 

Seeing the plea in her features, he obediently grabbed the items from her hand and secured them inside his obi the best he could. 

As soon as he took it, she bolted for the door, and he lowered himself out of the window. The last thing he saw was her spraying perfume around the room, likely to conceal the opium smell. His hands grasped the ledge tightly as he used the balls of his feet to push him away from the castle. 

He chanced a look down. It was far, but he immediately considered jumping. 

This was his chance to get out there, and then he could find his way into the dungeon. But at this height, he wasn’t sure he could make it. 

He was certain he would survive. But the odds of him breaking something upon impact were good. Then, they’d be three broken human slaves locked in a dungeon. 

He heard Juzo’s slightly slurred voice booming inside the room. He wouldn’t chance a peek, but from the sounds of it, he was accusing his wife of doing – well, what they were doing. At her denials, he was tearing the room apart looking for... not necessarily him, but someone. 

He heard him threaten to check the closet, and was pleased with himself for sidestepping that little encounter. 

Now that the room was apparently cleared, things seemed to have calmed down a bit, and Juzo was apologetic. 

That was good too, because his arms were starting to strain. He hoped she would get him out of there soon so he could get back inside. Then, maybe he could get her to give him those keys. Perhaps instead of seducing her, he could blackmail her. Of course, implicating himself as such to the leader was probably not the smartest plan, but an idle threat might be sufficient. 

Sesshoumaru strained his hearing to find out what was going on in there. His arms were starting to cramp. 

But the sudden familiar moan of the woman inside nearly caused him to curse. 

It seemed that Juzo took his wife’s state of undress to mean she was eagerly waiting for him to return, and in his drunken state, he was apparently eager to comply with her wishes. 

They were clearly on their bed, and a lot further along than he had been minutes ago. 

A lot further along. 

He didn’t know how long he could hold like this. His muscles were still sore from the incident on the bridge, so he hoped this male’s stamina wasn’t anything to write home about. 

After a moment, and confident of Juzo’s distraction, Sesshoumaru lifted himself up to venture a peak. 

They seemed to be pretty into it. He didn’t know why she sought attention elsewhere, as they appeared to be perfectly compatible. This woman was just greedy. Or perhaps still keyed up from before. Possibly both. 

Averting his eyes, he slid them over to her side table, and noticed the ring of keys that still remained. 

Damn. He should have grabbed them when he had the chance. That was the whole reason for this escapade, and he failed. 

He wondered if Juzo was distracted enough not to notice him if he crawled back through the window and snatched them off the table. 

It would be risky. Probably even riskier than jumping. He looked down again, and made his decision. 

It would hurt, but he would make it. 

He began looking around, to see what was available to him. The darkness of night made his task a difficult one, and he desperately hoped there were no guards outside who might look up and notice him. If there were, he would be unable to detect them. 

That’s when he noticed it. 

Below, and just out of reach, there were the branches of a nearby tree that nearly stretched out and brushed the castle. If he could launch himself over and grab ahold of one, it might slow his descent enough to allow for a softer landing. 

He had to try it. This was his only chance, and he didn’t know when he would get another one. By then, he might be too late. 

Listening to ensure the couple was still busy – they were - Sesshoumaru reaffirmed and readjusted his grip, steadied his feet against the wall, and bent his knees a few times as if pumping a well. He took a few centering breaths, blocking out the noise of all his doubts and worries, save for one. 

If he didn’t do this perfectly, Kagome would pay the price. It was all the motivation he needed. 

He looked at his target, crouched low, and then he jumped. 

Launching himself into the nearby tree, he had more than cleared it. He managed to get himself a few feet further than he needed, ensuring it was not difficult to grab ahold of one of the several long branches that were reaching for him. He just hoped it would be sturdy enough. 

The weightless feeling of being airborne was thrilling, and aside from the whole gravity thing, was the closest he’d been to flying since his transformation. He was pleased of the reminder, and though he would not allow for any outward shows of appreciation, he enjoyed the calm serenity he had only ever obtained while slicing through the air at impossible speeds. 

For just those few seconds, he felt a part of himself return to him, and he got to revel in the wonderful, familiar feeling before reality came crashing down as he prepared to do. 

Falling in human form was different than for a demon. It was faster, save for his reaction time. And blurry. He had to rely on instinct as he did not have ample time or clarity of thought to make choices. 

The thin, sparsely leafed branch he’d managed to secure was held firmly in his grasp as he careened toward the earth. About halfway down his fall, he felt the slack begin to tighten, and braced his grip. 

Sure enough, as the branch reached the limit of its durability, it offered resistance. The tree had slowed his descent, and deposited him down to the ground below with minimal impact. He even managed to stay on his feet. And when he released it, the branch whipped back up into the air, bouncing a like spring a few times before returning where it belonged. 

After taking a quick personal inventory, Sesshoumaru cut his gaze back up to the window he jumped out of to make sure they hadn’t heard him. He was relieved to see that no one appeared to be looking. 

And after a brief glance around, it didn’t look like anyone else had seen him either. He had the urge to relax a bit at his success, but he hardly had time to celebrate. Before he was spotted, he made a fast break for the other tower. He had to get into that dungeon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You probably hate me a little bit, but trust me, the pain will be worth it XD 


	23. Hollow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo............. 
> 
> A while back, I asked whether you preferred longer chapters, or faster chapters. And you greedy bastards said both... 
> 
> So how am I doing? LOL 
> 
> Unfortunately, though, my Coronacation is drawing to a close, so I most likely won’t be able to go as nuts with the updates anymore. It’s been fun tho. I forgot what outside looks like XD   
> update: caronacation got extended until thanksgiving! yay!!

The harrowing boom of thunder that reverberated through his bones as soon as he reached the other tower could have been seen as a bad omen. But seconds later, the sudden downpour out of nowhere caused whatever soldiers keeping post to scurry back inside with haste. And, while inconvenient, the miserable weather looked as if it may aid in his stealth, and wash away any witnesses. 

He had to say, he was duly unimpressed with the army that would be chased from their stations by a rainstorm. But, to be fair, these mountains appeared to be empty, and he would wager the three of them had been the first outsiders to come upon this castle in some time. Not to mention, with all the armor and weapons these men carried, the nearby crack of lightening may prove hazardous to their conductive human bodies. 

Constantly looking over his shoulder, Sesshoumaru began perusing the perimeter. If he had been informed correctly, the dungeon was right here, beneath his feet. 

He didn’t know how much time he had, but it wouldn’t be long before someone figured out he was not locked up where he should be. Once she saw he was no longer hanging from her bedroom window, Juzo’s wife would likely inform someone of his disappearance. 

But then, she may not, considering what had transpired moments before. She couldn’t be eager to explain what he had been doing in there, but didn’t put it past her to fabricate some lie implicating one of the guards, or even himself. 

But for now, he was going to go over what he did know. He knew he couldn’t reach the dungeon from the main tower. There were simply too many soldiers about, and he would be discovered instantly. Even if he had a weapon, it would be nearly impossible to charge through them. So that was out. 

It was possible there was a passage from this tower, though he had yet to enter inside. He had no idea what to expect as far as men, or the layout. So far though, it was looking like his only option. 

He turned the corner on the next wall, all the while raking his eyes up and down the building. He was looking for windows, or doors, or any weaknesses in the structure that could grant him access. Tunnels, or outlets, or ducts... But so far, everything he had found was too high. Breaking through that way would not get him into the dungeon, but several stories up. It was looking like waltzing straight through the front door was going to be his best option, but he was not at all confident of his chance for success. 

Another boom of thunder was preceded quickly by a crack of nearby lightening, and he heard a muffled reaction from the men in the other tower. From the sounds of it, it appeared the party was still going strong, and he hoped the soldiers he’d met earlier were reaching the same condition he’d seen Juzo in – at least in regards to toxicity. 

The rain was relentless, and he was collecting it quite beautifully. His short hair was sopping, plastering once fluffy black bangs to his forehead. And his thin white haori – what was left of it – had been rendered transparent. The inexpensive material had already soaked completely through, and clung to his form to display every cut of impressive muscle from his shoulders down to his hips. 

The hakama he wore were his own, and the spider demon silk repaired itself instantly, protecting him from the elements and keeping his lower half at least dry. But with his hasty exit from Juzo’s bedroom, his shirt had not been properly fastened together, giving him a rumpled, haphazard appearance and exposing much of his upper chest. 

He turned the corner on the last wall, growing increasingly anxious at his apparent lack of options for breaching the dungeon. He ran his hands firmly along the stone, searching desperately for a weak spot or even hints of some magic that might expose itself. These men did tamper with illusions, after all. But there was nothing. 

The dirt was getting soggy, and muddy beneath his boots. Perhaps he could dig? Maybe the foundation was unstable... 

He looked down to where the tower met the dirt, and that’s when he found it. 

An opening. 

Well, not entirely. The small rectangle of open wall was secured with two thick steel bars running through it vertically. It appeared to be a window of some kind, meant to offer ventilation from the dank underground room. Located at the back of the tower, it was the only one he’d seen, and likely the only one that there was. 

But it was big enough to squeeze through. And if he could fit, they could fit too. There was just the pesky matter of removing those thick steel bars. It was still very preferable to getting in through the front entrance. 

Sesshoumaru rushed over, and laid on his stomach to peer inside. He ignored the unpleasant feeling of mud squishing into his chest, and focused his eyes to inspect the room. 

It was hard to see. It was dimly lit inside with only two small torches flickering against the back wall. But he was confident he was in the right place. If this wasn’t the dungeon, he hated to see how shabby the dungeon actually was. 

It wasn’t especially terrifying or tortuous. Nothing impressive. Just dingy and sparse. Dirty, and desolate. Lonely. He was at least assuaged that the two of them were in there together. _If_ they were. He still couldn’t see them. 

More than half of the room was empty. Just stone floors and cold stone walls. And a single stone bench affixed to the wall, momentarily unoccupied, he assumed for the on-duty guard. The fact that there appeared to be none was promising, but he did not rule out the possibility of their warden simply being away for a moment. 

In the corner, propped up against the walls, he recognized Tetsusaiga instantly. Having written the weapon off as likely pillaged and gone forever, it appeared as if it had either been forgotten, or simply deemed unworthy of claiming. He could understand; its outward appearance was incredibly deceptive. It was not until transformed that the rusty old sword finally revealed its power and promise. 

The hunting knife he had acquired was nowhere to be seen, however. And though it had served him well while in his possession, he had no particular attachment to it. He could easily find another. 

To the left was a door. That must be the underground passage from the main tower that likely led to the tunnel. It was entirely possible that an armed guard stood on the other side, so he was going to go ahead and assume that there was. Either way, a journey through that tunnel would most likely not be a lonely one, but if it led to the main tower, he was not planning on using it anyhow. 

He would have to get them all through this window, if they were in fact here. He still hadn’t glimpsed them. 

His gaze then slid right to peruse the other half of the room. If they were here, that was where they would be. More steels bars formed a very large cage. Running all the way from ceiling to floor, these bars were thinner, but more numerous, and tighter together than the ones at his window. The dark made it difficult to discern anything out of the shadows within, so he strained his eyesight in search of his packmates. 

Still uncertain, he considered calling out. It was not a smart move to declare yourself before you know who all is present, but he figured anyone locked inside would probably not be offended by his appearance. 

Before he made a sound, another burst of light shot out of the clouds, followed immediately by a long, threatening rumble. The storm was getting closer, but his nerves of steel prevented him from startling at the sudden unexpected noise. 

Those in the cage were not so indifferent. The spark of bright light not only caused a huddled body on the floor to jump, but also illuminated the dark dungeon enough for him to make out the forms of his companions. They sat together, holding one another for comfort and support, and with their damaged legs spread out in front of them. 

He’d found them. 

“Inuyasha!” Sesshoumaru called to his half-brother in as loud a whisper as he could manage. When he got no response, he tried again a little louder. 

This time, he saw his brother’s head lift, and look around the room in search of the voice. 

“Up here!” The window was near the ceiling, and at the clarification, Inuyasha finally saw the familiar face peering at him from the outside. 

“Sesshoumaru!” At his loud outburst, the miko in his arms jerked up, and looked over to the door hopefully. When she still didn’t see him, she tilted her head to look curiously at Inuyasha, and followed his line of sight. Relief, and excitement coursed through her, until she saw his somber expression as he held his finger to his lips. 

The hanyou blushed a bit, aware of volume. When he called to him again, it was much quieter this time. “What’s happening?” 

“Where are the guards?” Sesshoumaru asked, holding both of the steel bars in front of him, he seemed to be inspecting them; testing their strength and shaking them. They didn’t appear to budge. 

“They come and go. Been a while, though.” 

That was promising. If they didn’t have a constant guardian, they might simply be doing rounds. Perhaps they figured their cage was sufficient, or maybe they held post in the hallway. Either way, they needed to act fast, and remain quiet. Luckily, the storm outside was giving them some cover. 

“Have they done anything?” His tone of voice was dangerous, but not void of concern. It was clear he worried for the answer. 

“No, just talked some shit. Brought some guys in to gawk. They fed us.” 

Sesshoumaru was beyond relieved, but only showed it by accepting the answer with a silent nod. 

He pushed himself up off his belly, and planted one foot on the ground in a kneel. All they could see was his boot, and the couple watched curiously as he reached down into the side of it and appeared to pull something out. 

Another flash of lightening hit. When it did, a thousand little points of light sparkled and gleamed off of the object in his hand, lighting up the small dungeon room like a disco. Immediately, he covered the item tightly, cutting off the marvelous display. 

He didn’t know why he did it. Sesshoumaru was not a common thief. But ever since glimpsing Otoha’s necklace, he had been inexplicably drawn to its beauty. It called to him. 

He was aware of the youkai diamond mines in the East. The jewels they produced were the strongest, and most breathtaking in the world. He was telling the truth when he told her his mother had owned one. And while usually procured for aesthetic beauty, and to display wealth and privilege among the elite, it was also a very useful stone. 

Those diamonds could cut through anything. He knew, from handling them as a pup just how destructive they could be against even the strongest of material. They were certainly tough enough to cut through steel bars. 

With another look over his shoulder, Sesshoumaru inched closer to the window at his knees. He wrapped an end of the necklace around one of the bars so that he held a side in each hand. Sliding it up towards the top, he began his feverish movements. 

Alternating his hands to and fro, he used the unbreakable necklace like a rope saw. He was like a one-man lumberjack cutting his way through, and it didn’t take long for small amounts of progress to show; letting him know his plan was working. 

A thin strip of metal was slowly grinding away, and he worked even faster. Muscles bulged through his waterlogged haori, and his one bare bicep strained as he continued to saw at a progressively faster pace. 

The others watched on silently, while the noise he was making echoed throughout the small room. Sesshoumaru was aware of this as well, but as it was unavoidable, he simply tried to get through it as quickly as possible. Luckily, the rain was still coming down hard, and the noise of water pelting everything from above easily drowned out the sound of his makeshift saw. 

The rain also did a fine job of washing away the sweat accumulating on his brow. The only evidence of it in the storm was the stinging sensation of his open pours as he continued to push himself to the limit of his endurance. 

He was pleased to quickly learn that the bars were not solid. The insides were hollow, and this would speed up his task exponentially. That was a good thing, because without his youki, the muscles in his arms grew tired quickly. And still not fully recovered from his time on the bridge - and just now, the tower window - his body was protesting his gross misuse of it. But still, he persisted. 

He got through the top of the bar at last, and began again at the bottom. When he was able to remove it, he moved over to the other and repeated the process. When both bars were out, he slid through the small window feet first and was finally inside. 

In his excitement, Inuyasha scrambled up onto his good foot, and hopped over to the front of his cage. Kagome opted to scoot over to where the door to her cell was locked, and Sesshoumaru could see why. Her knee had swollen almost twice as large as it had been. He frowned at the sight, and knelt down beside where she sat. 

She saw him looking down at her injury, and the displeasure on his face as a result. And yeah, it hurt, but she was way too happy to see him to not flash her brilliant grin. These bars were too close to reach through, so she placed her palm flat against them. When that drew his attention back up to her beautiful features, the look he found there eased his tension somewhat. But only a little. She was still trapped inside, and still in pain. But he wouldn’t dampen her spirit with his logical pessimism. If she could put on a brave face in the midst of all this, he could too. 

He lifted his hand to touch hers; his fingertips tracing the small parts of her he could reach. Feeling her skin was placating. She was real. She was here. He could touch her. And, for now, she was okay. He felt himself relax just a little. 

He curled his fingers in between the bars. He couldn’t get his hand all the way through, but she grabbed onto what she could, and brought her cheek close enough for him to touch. She closed her eyes at the sensation, and nuzzled the digits poking in. When coming in contact with a few strands of hair, he hooked his fingers into them and tried to rake them through. 

From where he stood beside them, Inuyasha only looked down to watch the display. He said nothing, or reacted in any way. Just simply watched, with a thoughtful look on his face as he grabbed onto the bars in front of him to aid in his balance. 

“You came,” she whispered. When she pulled back to look at him, she pressed her palm flat again and weaved her fingers between his, letting him grab ahold as a replacement. 

He watched where they connected for a moment, letting her calm his jangled climate with her welcoming touch. 

“Did you doubt that I would?” 

He finally looked in her eyes, the trust and gratitude he found there softened his own even further, and brought the slightest of smiles to his lips. She’d already answered him, but she would again. 

“Not for a second.” 

When she pulled back to finally take him in, she couldn’t help it; she laughed. 

“You’re a mess.” 

And he was. Muddy, wet, disheveled, and flushed from all the effort he’d expended. But somehow, he was still impossibly adorable. Especially with the little smile he offered in response to her rude assessment. 

“I am.” 

But now that that was settled, her slight amusement gave way to deep concern. The whole time he’d been away, she couldn’t help but fear what they were subjecting him to. She worried about him getting found out, or taking a risk, and getting killed as a result. 

“Are you okay? What happened?” 

But there would be time for that later. He’d dallied long enough. He had to hurry and get them out of there before anyone saw them. 

“I had to escape. We haven’t much time.” 

Assessing the cage that kept her from him, he tried to find the most efficient place to begin. Rather than start in on sawing away at the many bars it would take to allow them to pass through, he located the points on the cell which held the lock in place. It would be faster to saw through there, and then he could open the door. 

Diamonds still in hand, he threaded it between the lock bars, and resumed his sawing. 

“What is that thing? Some sort of necklace?” asked Inuyasha as he watched his brother work. 

“Indeed.” He never took his eyes off his task as he continued. 

“Where’d you get it?” 

Kagome was too busy tending to her knee to see the pensive look Sesshoumaru shot her way, but Inuyasha wasn’t. But before he got his answers, the sound of keys hitting the floor outside the door caused the three of them to freeze. 

Mumbled curses could be heard just outside, and they exchanged panicked looks as Sesshoumaru removed his necklace and hastily backed himself away from the cell. With his eye on the door, he creeped into the darkest corner of the room, which happened to be down the wall from the entrance. 

It was dark enough there to shield him from a quick glance, but he could only hope another bolt of lightning wouldn’t expose him. 

After another moment of fumbling, a click at the door celebrated a successful unlocking, and the couple in the cell scooted on their butts to the back of the cage. 

Sesshoumaru stood deathly still as he pressed his back against the wall, not even bothering to breath as the door cracked open. He was more than a little surprised to see Juzo stumbling inside, and turning around to close himself in. He didn’t bother locking it though. 

Apparently, Juzo wasn’t one to cuddle. But then again, how long had he been down here? It had taken some time to saw through those first bars, but he was only halfway through his first in the cage. He hoped the leader would not notice the disruption, and with how drunk he appeared to be, he was liking his chances. 

Doing a quick assessment, he could see that Juzo did not bring his gun. He did, however, have his sword at his hip, as well as a dagger. And apparently, he had not bothered to put his armor back on after his tryst. 

Had she told him? What had she told him? He doubted she told her husband about their intimacy; with all the trouble she went to hiding him. But had she told him of his escape? After seeing he was no longer hanging outside of her window, had she alerted him of his absence? 

Was that why he was here? So far, he was grateful to not have been detected. Yet. 

Juzo made his way forward, obviously still drunk from before. Or maybe he’d had more. How long had he been down here? 

He wasn’t stumbling or anything, but he was obviously affected. 

Was this what he did when he was ‘planning his strategies?’ No wonder he needed his help. 

“Hello, priestess,” he began pleasantly, if not somewhat sleepily. She didn’t respond. 

He was now leaning against the cage, keys still in hand, while Sesshoumaru remained silent and still; his predatory eyes gleaming from the dark corner he was hiding in. 

The pair in the cage was scowling at Juzo, and trying their best not to flick their eyes in Sesshoumaru’s direction. 

“Did you miss me? I missed you...” Again, he was met with silence. 

He ran his fingers down a few of the bars slowly. They watched nervously as he drew closer to the one that had been cut, but he mistook Kagome’s rapt attention as interest. 

“I was just thinking about you, when I was with my wife just now.” When his statement registered, she shot him a distasteful look, leaving no question of her disgust. “Don’t misunderstand, I love her deeply. But sometimes a man needs something different. Something... exotic.” 

She wanted to spit back exactly what she thought of him, but decided the wise thing to do would be to keep quiet. For once, Inuyasha did as well, especially seeing as he had absolutely no way to back up his threats at the moment. He didn’t want to get her into more trouble. 

“Where are you from, priestess?” 

He waited expectantly, only to have her glare at him a moment before averting her eyes to the side. But he was not deterred. 

“You’re shy, that’s too bad. I like a woman with some fire in her.” He gazed at her, making her feel gross with the way his drunken eyes lingered. She could practically read his thoughts as he raked them all over her body. The smile that curled up his lips made her skin crawl. “Speaking of which, it is a shame about your ailment. I prefer to give my bedmates pleasure as well; I am not a greedy man.” His smile dropped then, and the intent way he was looking at her went from creepy to downright sinister in an instant. “But seeing as your pussy’s tainted from your impurity, perhaps we can find a use for that mouth of yours.” 

Her brow crinkled in unconcealed disgust, and finally, she couldn’t hold her tongue. 

“Try it, I'll bite it off.” She knew she shouldn’t, but she just couldn’t let him get away with trying to intimidate her. As soon as she said it though, the return of his greasy smile told her she made a mistake. Now he was even more excited. 

“There we go! There’s that fire,” he proclaimed, as if pleased with himself for getting her to snap back at him. “I knew you had it in you. I could see it in your eyes.” 

He looked into those endless pools then, and found himself getting lost in them. 

So blue. He’d never seen eyes that color before. Not even on a demon. They really were stunning. 

“Those eyes really are something.” 

He couldn’t help but think back to earlier, when Yuta had expressed similar admiration of his beloved. 

If they were anything like this woman’s, he could see why he would hold them in such high regard. 

At the time he just thought he was being cute with them, maybe trying to impress the women. But looking at this strange girl, he supposed he could understand. 

He wondered what color his intended’s eyes were. For loving them so much, he hadn’t mentioned it... 

He tore himself away from her compelling irises, and allowed his gaze to drift downward. 

Her skirt was indecently short. He couldn’t help but notice before, but seeing her now... 

He appreciated getting such access to those legs. So long, and shapely, and... 

In running his hands anxiously along the bars, he started toying absentmindedly with some burrs under his finger pads. The smoothness had given way, and he kept rubbing against the sharp, scratchy part of the disturbed metal. 

Finally, he looked down, and realized it was some sort of cut. When he removed his finger, fresh steel dust had coated it, turning it silver. 

He lifted his gaze again, and assessed the strange woman before him for another long, thoughtful moment. 

“Yuta-” 

Before he could complete his realization, his wife’s diamond necklace was around his throat much too tightly for comfort. Sesshoumaru had the ends wrapped around his two fingers on each hand, giving him just enough length to squeeze his windpipe shut. 

His by this point exhausted upper arms were tested once again, as he used every ounce of his strength to pull Juzo against his chest by trapping his neck. That he was slightly taller than the man gave him a bit of extra leverage. 

Juzo’s hands immediately went to the necklace, to scrape and claw at it in attempts to pull it away. But Sesshoumaru’s grip was like the diamonds themselves; hard, strong, and completely unbreakable. 

Realizing this while gurgling and struggling for air, Juzo tried another method. Screams for help already proved impossible, as he could barely breathe. Instead, he reached for the dagger at his side, and succeeded in arming himself with it. 

Sesshoumaru couldn’t release either of his hands at the moment. But he knew it wouldn’t be long before he wouldn’t have to. He considered briefly simply snapping his neck, but he was already succeeding at strangulation, so he decided to keep with it. 

Besides, it had been so long since he had throttled someone slowly. He was kind of looking forward to it. 

But, knife in hand, Juzo attempted a few clumsy stabs behind him. Sesshoumaru managed to dodge them, twisting his body enough to avoid getting cut. He had a few close calls, but with each try Juzo was spending some badly needed energy. His face was turning blue, and he was getting weaker. His struggling was beginning to slow down. That was why it surprised him when Juzo changed methods, and gave stabbing one more try, but aimed downward. 

This time, he was successful. 

A short yell of pain echoed through the dungeon when his blade pierced Sesshoumaru in the thigh. 

And following that, a scream of worry when she saw the blood quickly bleeding through his hakama. 

“Sesshoumaru!” 

At the familiar address, Juzo’s eyes grew wide. Though, it might have been from the pressure on his neck. But it looked to Kagome like he recognized the name, and she recoiled a bit in fear at having outed his true identity. 

Oh well. It didn’t look like he would be living long enough to tell anyone. And she doubted Sesshoumaru minded the man being aware exactly who was killing him. 

Despite looking seconds away from taking his last struggling gasp, Sesshoumaru released one end of the necklace to wrap his hand around the one that held the dagger – still dripping with his own blood – and lifted it to the man’s throat. 

In one quick, seamless motion, Juzo got another cut on his neck, though this one wouldn’t get the chance to scar over. 

Sesshoumaru released him, letting him drop to the floor with a thud. Face down in an increasing pile of his own blood, neither in the cage doubted for a second Sesshoumaru’s proficiency with a blade, nor his precision when making his cut. 

Juzo was dead. 

It was still slightly horrifying to watch a man’s life be taken so gruesomely right in front of her, no matter how justified. Killing demons was one thing, but watching humans die so terribly caused an excitable charge to run through Kagome that was not at all enjoyable. It was a sickly feeling, enhanced by adrenaline and giving her a detached out of body experience. 

But she was also relieved. It was almost over. 

She looked from the creepy, open eyes of a dead man up to his murderer just in time to see him tear off his remaining haori sleeve and wrap it tightly around his thigh. Inuyasha still had the other one, because of course no one had seen to their wounds while they were in here. 

After stopping the bleeding, Sesshoumaru picked up the keys Juzo had dropped and began sifting through them for the one to the cell. He was thrilled not to need to use the necklace anymore, and tucked it into his obi for safe keeping. Those diamonds could prove very useful. 

The first key he tried didn’t work, and he momentarily wondered if he’d damaged the lock too much to use it. But after trying another key, the lock clicked, and the door easily popped open. 

He let out a huge sigh of relief, and doubled over a moment to catch his breath. It looked as if he’d been coiling up all his tension until they were free, and now he could relax. But, as much as he deserved it, he could not savor the feeling. 

Inuyasha was already up, and trying to get Kagome on her feet as well. This is where things were going to get hard. 

Sesshoumaru pulled the key from the lock and hustled to the door. Sifting through them once again, he found the one to the hallway and locked them inside the dungeon. If anyone else was coming down, it would at least buy them a few seconds. He hoped this was the only set of keys, but he kind of doubted it. 

Lightening cracked once more, followed by thunder and even more punishing rain. The floor below the window was developing a puddle that was only growing larger by the second. It was a bad night to be lost in the mountains, but at least the storm would provide them a bit of cover. 

With the door locked, Sesshoumaru threw the keys on the floor and rushed back over to the couple still in the cage. Inuyasha was still helping Kagome to her feet, and in an instant, Sesshoumaru was by her side, slipping his shoulder under her arm to help his brother support her. 

Inuyasha was still limping somewhat, but they managed to get her out of her prison and lead her around the body on the floor. When they got beneath the window, Sesshoumaru released her and guided her to lean on the wall instead. With it, she could balance on her good leg, and keep any pressure off the other. 

“How we gonna do this?” Inuyasha asked, looking up to the window and judging the height. If he had two working legs, he could jump and scramble his way out himself. He still might be able to, though it would be tough. But there was no way Kagome was going to make it up there on her own. 

“You go up first. Once you are through, I will hand her to you.” 

“Okay,” he agreed. And started to bounce on his good leg to try and jump up. His tongue was sticking out in determination, and he put his palms against the stone wall. 

His brother’s hand on his shoulder stopped him, though, and he looked over at him in confusion. 

“I will help you. Jump onto my hands.” 

Crouching low, Sesshoumaru laced his fingers together to give his brother a boost. Inuyasha looked down, somewhat shocked at his suggestion, but unwilling to question the aid. 

Bracing himself against the wall, he hopped from the floor with one foot, only to be caught on the way down. Sesshoumaru straightened to full height, lifting his bare arms as high as he could to get him closer to the window. His biceps bulged and shook under his brother’s weight. And when he managed to get his arms thought the window, Sesshoumaru bent and maneuvered himself so that Inuyasha’s foot was now supported by his shoulder, and extended to full height once again. With the extra push, he had managed to use Sesshoumaru to kick himself up and get himself out. 

He cursed in pain as his mangled leg dragged painfully behind him, scraping against stone and dirt as he made his exit. And then a bit more, as he spun back around to face the others. He managed to prop up on his good knee, while he tried to do his best not to put any pressure on the other one. He wasn’t entirely successful. 

That was why he was frustrated when he only saw Kagome down below; Sesshoumaru was nowhere in sight. 

“What the fuck’s he doin’?” he demanded. But before she could answer, he was back in frame, and holding Inuyasha’s sword by the sheath; offering him the hilt. 

Inuyasha paused for a moment, the sight of his brother reaching to give him Tetsusaiga caused an uncomfortable feeling to wash over him. Something he’d yet to identify, and didn’t know if he was ready to. 

He did recognize the guilt though. About the last thing he’d said to him before he found him in that trap. Before he freed him the first time. 

And now, here he was, proving him wrong. Proving him to be the asshole. Giving him his sword, even after his childish assumptions got them in this mess. Got himself and Kagome hurt and kidnapped. And if it wasn’t for his brother, it would have gotten so much worse. 

And he could have just walked away. He wasn’t dumb enough to get stuck in some trap. He could have let them stay there. After what he’d said to him, he would have deserved it. 

But no, he was there with them every step of the way. Doing whatever he could to get them out. Saving them. 

Inuyasha looked down at his brother’s increasingly expectant features, and he felt ashamed. Somberly, he accepted his sword with a quiet “thanks,” and put it down in the mud beside him. 

Sesshoumaru was looking down at Kagome sympathetically. He knew there was no painless way to do this. 

“I must get you on my shoulders. He will pull you the rest of the way.” She nodded in acquiescence, and he moved to get behind her. But she stopped him. 

“Your leg.” She looked down to the bloody haori sleeve tied around his thigh, and he followed her line of sight. Her concern for him was endearing, and despite everything, he had to smile at her. 

“Just a scratch,” he assured her. But she was not convinced. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, with even more concern. He responded by smiling a little bigger. To make matters worse, it reached his sparkling eyes. 

“Much better. I was beginning to feel left out.” 

She was not amused at all, but he seemed to have enough to spare. Without another word, he got behind her, bent low, and stuck his head between her legs. 

She flushed when she felt his neck pressing firmly into her clit. She was wearing her skirt, so only a thin pair of cotton panties separated skin from increasingly heated skin. Even in a dire moment such as this, his touch was still able to excite her, and as she adjusted herself, she tried not to heed her body’s call demanding she enhance the pleasurable feeling by grinding or rubbing against him. 

As he cautiously straightened to full height, he put his hands on the tops of her thighs to steady her. Very high up, so as to avoid her painfully swollen knee. He made sure not to touch it, but the rocky turbulence still hurt her, and in an instant all of that wonderful pleasure he induced was forgotten in lieu of the throbbing pain. 

She whimpered and whined, and he tried to make this quick. He leaned them back against the wall, and waited for Inuyasha to grab her beneath the arms. He did, offering some grunts and whines of his own, and got a solid grip on the young woman. 

Once certain he had her, Sesshoumaru made the same maneuver with her as he had with his brother, crouching beneath her dangling feet to give her good leg something to push off against. Once her foot was on his shoulder, he stood to full height again, and Inuyasha pulled. 

Then, she was off of him. And with twin cries, the two of them were out the window. 

As they struggled to get their bearings, Sesshoumaru indulged in another sigh of relief. Now all he had to do was lift himself out. But before he did, he had one more thing to do. 

He stalked over to Juzo’s body. Doing his best to avoid stepping in the man’s blood, he crouched low to assess him. 

“Are you okay?” Inuyasha asked Kagome who was laying on her back and wincing in pain. She was fighting off tears, because even though she was hurting, she knew they still had a long ways to go. 

“Yes,” she assured him. “Are you?” 

“Yeah.” 

They shared a friendly smile as he crouched over her. 

“Where is he? Can he get out?” 

They both looked to the hole they crawled out of just in time to see a sword be forced through it. Inuyasha only looked at it a moment, before reaching forward and pulling it out. He placed it beside Tetsusaiga when he saw Sesshoumaru’s hands come through to grab the edges. Then came his head. As soon as his shoulders were through, Inuyasha grabbed him by them and helped drag him out the rest of the way. Once through, he wasted no time popping up onto his feet, and retrieving the strange sword. 

They both immediately noticed how instead of the sleeveless, muddy haori he had been wearing, he now had on one of the soldier’s well-made dragon-scaled shirts. And they knew where he got it; the same place he got the sword. Inuyasha got up onto his feet to join him, and hobbled over to collect his own weapon. 

“What now?” he asked his brother, who was scanning their surroundings, likely looking for guards. The weather seemed to be doing a nice job of keeping them at bay. But they had to hurry. They couldn’t move very fast, and as soon as one of them was spotted, all it would take was a well-aimed bullet to put them down. They needed to flee. 

“We run for the tree line as quickly as possible, and put as much distance between us and this castle as we can manage.” Sesshoumaru did not run away from battle, so this was a new and very uncomfortable scenario for him. But anything less would cost all of them their lives. He looked down at Kagome who had struggled herself into a seated position. 

“Can you manage?” he asked him, then handed him the sword he had stolen. “You may use this for a crutch.” 

“That why you took it?” he asked with a slight smirk. 

“No. But it may be helpful.” 

Inuyasha accepted the weapon, and tried using it to absorb some of his weight. It wasn’t perfect, but he would be able to move faster with it. 

Sesshoumaru then moved to kneel in front of Kagome, but Tetsusaiga’s hilt in his face obscured the view of the incapacitated priestess. 

He turned, and looked up at his brother questioningly. 

“Take it,” he demanded, but Sesshoumaru made no move to. 

“It won’t transform for me right now. If those guards see us, I need you to take them down with this.” 

The elder brother declined to remind him that he wasn’t sure it would transform for him either. And while he did appreciate the significance of Inuyasha trusting him with his sword, he could not accept it. 

“I thank you for your trust, but I cannot carry the miko and the sword. You must keep it, but stay near.” 

He knew what that meant. If need be, he would take it from him. But though surprised he would decline taking possession of that which he once coveted beyond all else – something he had tried to kill him over several times – he found he was not surprised he was forgoing the opportunity in order to save Kagome. 

It appeared he had found something he cared about more than his father’s fang. 

He leaned closer to the woman whose thighs he knelt between, and matched her wincing features with his apologetic ones. 

“We must go. Are you ready?” 

She nodded, but was not looking forward to this journey. It was very nice of him to offer to carry her again, but last time was far from comfortable. She knew they had to hurry, though. She was just going to need to suck it up. 

But when he leaned closer as if he was going to kiss her, she was caught off guard. 

Not really a great time, but she supposed her hero had earned his reward. She closed her eyes and parted her lips. But nothing happened. 

She opened her eyes again to see him smiling at her, and she became indignant. 

Was he teasing her? Now? Like this? This was not the time to try and make her feel stupid, and she was about to tell him so. 

“Grab onto me,” he instructed, cutting her off before she got started. 

“What?” 

“I am trying something different. I believe it will cause you less discomfort.” 

She looked at him suspiciously, but quickly complied. She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders, and gasped when he wedged his hands beneath the bottom of her ass. He turned his head then, hair tickling his face as he put his lips right up against her ear. Each soft word sent a warm tingle coursing through every part of her his breath touched, and more. 

“Hold on tight,” he ordered hushly. She did. 

In a quick motion, he was on his feet. He was holding her like a father might hold a child, and she felt a little ridiculous. But she had to admit, it was much less strenuous on her damaged knee, and she breathed a sigh of relief. This was going to make their escape somewhat tolerable. 

His hands grabbed her ass, and adjusted her to sit right above his hip bones. Cheeks pinkened at the way her legs stretched wide around his firm torso, and that thin layer of cotton keeping her from him got a touch damper. Her blood stiffened clit was smashed against his rippling abdominals, and each time she attempted to adjust herself against him it only increased her desire to grind on him harder. But she resisted. 

She kept her chest pressed against him tightly, squishing her breasts into his hard upper chest, and the way her arms wrapped tightly around his neck made it so she didn’t have to look him in the face. She appreciated that at the moment. 

“Better?” he asked softly again. 

“Y-yeah. Thanks,” she squeaked out. He was pleased, and affirmed his grip on her. 

“Do not stop until you reach the tree line,” he ordered his half-brother. “Are you ready?” 

“Let’s go.” 

Sesshoumaru could have ran, but he settled for a speed walk to match his brother’s pace, and keep his cargo in place. She bounced up and down against him with each hurried step he took, and he forced himself to focus on his goal in order to keep other thoughts out of his head that might appear. Thoughts of what it would be like if they were both naked, and she was just a little bit lower... 

He was continuously looking over his shoulder, looking to see if anyone was following him, and to also make sure Inuyasha was keeping up. With his sword as a crutch, he was hobbling along pretty good. Several feet behind, but he was keeping his mind off the pain and focusing on getting out of sight. 

The rain was pelting them brutally from above, but the thunder and lightning had held off for a bit. Sesshoumaru was relieved when they made it to cover; to be both out of sight and out of the rain was an acceptable milestone. When he got there, he stopped and turned, and waited for his brother to join him. When he did seconds later, he allowed him a moment to rest his leg. But only a moment. They had to get as far as they could away from there. 

“Okay. Where are we going?” 

“I do not know where we are,” he admitted with a hint of shame. “And with the clouds, I cannot see the stars. We entered here from the other side, so I propose we continue heading this way. It might throw them off when they come looking for us. Objections?” 

He looked back at forth between the two of them, totally willing to hear suggestions. 

“Nope. Your guess is as good as mine.” 

He’d done well so far, and Inuyasha was not eager to take the blame for wherever they ended up. 

Sesshoumaru nodded at his reply, and turned to the woman in his arms. 

“Hn. Miko?” 

She was still clinging tightly to him, shifting some as he tried to help her get more comfortable. 

She leaned back a bit, and turned to finally look him in the face. He appeared receptive, and was definitely not being snarky for once. She shook her head. 

“No, I trust you. I’m sorry I didn’t before.” 

She absolutely wasn’t willing to take the lead on this one. She felt like it was her fault they were lost in the first place, even though her pack mule insisted it was not. 

“Very well. Let us continue then.” 

* * *

An hour after their daring escape, they were deep within the enormous mountain. They had only taken a few short breaks for rest, but the mantra they had agreed on was to keep moving for as long as they could. 

The rain had let up, and had done a nice job in covering their tracks. Without the aid of dogs or demons, the army at the castle would not have an easy time finding them. They had not encountered any other fortresses or associates of those humans, so they were growing fairly confident they had made it reasonably out of harm’s way. 

The thick clustering of trees made it impossible to navigate by the stars, but also worked at providing them decent cover for a relatively dry trudge, so that was at least something. Tensions had been high at first, but as time was pressing on, they were feeling more and more like they had successfully gotten away. 

But they weren’t taking any chances. 

Sesshoumaru followed his instincts, and his companions were following him. In general, he was trying to take them down the mountain slope, but when he got a bad feeling about the direction they were headed, he would deviate from this loosely based guideline and take them up or around. They still had no idea where they were, and had encountered nothing relatively familiar. But still, they walked, waiting for sign of anything to tell them they were going the right way, or not. That, or find them a nice, safe place to hide for the night. If they could make it until morning, the light of day – and a half breed’s nose - would make it easier to travel. 

With some space between them and the castle, low spirits were lifting. They’d slowed down their pace so that Inuyasha didn’t have to suffer too much on his leg, but when they asked if he wanted a break, he always replied that come morning, he would be hanyou again and therefor would be healed. He could suffer for one night and then he’d be over it. He didn’t want to slow them down. 

But Sesshoumaru had greatly reduced his pace. He was traveling at what could almost be described as a leisurely stroll. At least, as leisurely as one could be with a woman wrapped around his hips and looking dreamily into his eyes. 

She was no longer clinging to him tightly. She had discovered that reclining back helped elevate her knee and relieved a lot of strain. So her hands were now clasped behind his neck, and she tilted herself back as far as she could while Sesshoumaru held her firmly beneath her ass, so that her tailbone rested below his navel. It was by no means uncomfortable. But the way she looked up at him, with that dreamy smile and a glazed, loving look in her eye, it certainly was hard to watch where he was walking, or look at anything other than her. 

He would briefly take note of his surroundings, but just briefly. Then, he would lower his gaze once more and enjoy the sight of the Shikon Miko staring at him like he was the only thing in the world. It had been this way for nearly an hour now, and Sesshoumaru decided he could gladly keep this up forever. He didn’t bother hiding the smile he returned, as he happily took in the view of the pretty young woman in his arms. 

“This is awkward,” she finally declared, though her smile never left her face. Neither did his. 

“It is not the most awkward position we have found ourselves in, miko.” 

She only smiled wider, and a slight blush stained her cheeks as she tried to discern which particular awkward position he was referring to. If she had to guess, she would say it involved a certain night they spent together in a sleeping bag... 

“What does that mean?” Inuyasha asked, looking between the couple who seemed enamored with each other. Or at least, not the least bit mad at being literally attached at the hip. 

Her blush deepened, and Sesshoumaru’s smirk only progressed. He aimed it square at her, and lifted a brow expectantly in a clear indication he was going to let her take this one. 

“Oh...on the bridge, remember?” 

When his condemning eyes reacted to her answer with amusement, she knew her initial guess had been right. 

“Awkward? Try terrifying.” Inuyasha seemed more than willing to accept that answer. But really, she was pretty sure he didn’t want to know. 

It was so weird to think back on that now. Back then, she had been so terrified that he was going to kill her just for touching him. So much so, that she made him promise that he wouldn’t. Now, here he was with her legs wrapped around him, carrying her all over the mountainside like a baby sloth, and not only had it been his idea, he seemed happy as a clam to be doing so. And she had to say, she wasn’t minding so much herself. 

Now, she wanted his touch. Now, it was exciting. Not that it hadn’t been back then. If fact, she was very disturbed at her body’s involuntary reaction to his rigid, naked form. 

She remembered moving her own nude form over his, getting to know every nook and cranny... every inch of him. And she hadn’t even liked the guy. 

It was strange to think that now, now that she actually liked him, she had yet to experience him as intimately. Sure, they’d kissed a handful of times. But she hadn’t felt his skin pressed against hers. Hadn’t felt his fingers where she intimately wanted them... hadn’t felt, or even seen his bare cock since a time when she hadn’t even wanted to. 

She supposed she very well could. He hadn't been shy about declaring his desire to do so. It was she who put a stop to things when they were getting too far. But that was because it was different now. 

This wasn’t satisfying base urges or relieving stress or saving a life. She was falling hard. She was getting attached. She was setting herself up for a fall, and she knew it. But kami, did she want him. And she knew that there was no free lunch in this world. Everything had its price. And apparently, the price of falling in love with a sweet, devoted, unreally beautiful man who was sure to see to each and every one of her physical needs, was having to eventually lose him. She supposed everyone loses the one they love eventually. Hers would just probably be a lot sooner than most. 

She just wondered, after he was gone, if it wouldn’t ruin love for her forever. Would he be the unrealistic measuring stick she held all her future suitors to? Could she ever feel pleasure, or enjoyment, or contentment with another man ever again, after tasting this one? 

It was a depressing thought. But she wasn’t going to dwell on it now. If she was giving up her future happiness for a little joy right now, she wasn’t going to ruin it by obsessing. If anything, she wanted to be as amazing for him as possible, so that after he left her, any demoness he ended up with would pale in comparison. She wouldn’t be the only one to suffer. She was going to be so wonderful, he could never be satisfied again. That would show him. 

Maybe it was almost time to pull the trigger. His body just felt so good rubbing up against hers, and they hadn’t even taken their clothes off yet. No, she wasn’t ready right this minute, but it was going to be soon. She tried not to let her nerves take hold of her senses. 

Inuyasha began to slow behind them, so Sesshoumaru decided to stop. 

“Do you require another rest?” he asked. When he got no answer, he turned around. 

But instead of fussing over his leg, the whelp was just staring off into the distance. 

“Inuyasha?” Kagome asked him, growing concerned. She was about to call him again, but he finally spoke. 

“You hear that?” 

The couple froze. 

Hear what? Was someone coming? Had they been found? Suddenly, her nerves consumed her again. 

“You hear someone?” Sesshoumaru asked him, and Kagome could feel every muscle between her thighs and under her hands tighten considerably. So much for a leisurely stroll. They might have to run. 

“Not someone,” he replied, still looking far away. It was a relief, but it still left a lot of questions. The pair was confused, and eager know what he meant. Sesshoumaru was straining, obviously not happy that his brother could hear something he could not. He was about to curtly demand he clue them in, but the hanyou beat him to it. 

“It sounds like water,” he finally declared, and a meaningful moment of silence followed. 

Realization dawned, and all of their faces lit up with excitement. 

“The river,” Sesshoumaru guessed, and instantly, they all turned to the sound and began making their way over with haste. Heeding neither their injuries nor exhaustion, they sped up to a pace not achieved in nearly an hour, and rushed excitedly forward. 

After about five minutes of painful near-jogging, and almost tripping over tree roots and rocks, the sound of water rushing and sliding and cutting around rocks got much louder. But they were not anywhere near a river. It was too high up the mountain, and that water sounded close. True, it was dark out, and it could be echoing off another mountain, but they were still pretty much stuck in the middle of the woods. Where was that water at? 

Way off to the side, where Inuyasha had speed hobbled over to, a large splash was heard. Kagome and Sesshoumaru turned to the sound, anxious with confusion and anticipation. But then, a barrage of expletives followed the wet plunking sound. 

“God dammit! I thought we had it!” he yelled, and childishly stomped his foot in shallow liquid. They were supposed to be being quiet, but the hanyou had reached the limits of his frustrations. 

“We’re never gonna get out of these mutherfucking mountains!” 

Sesshoumaru hurried the two of them over to see what he had found. It appeared to be a modest stream. Not the river they wanted, just a fairly decent sized body that was pouring down the mountain. 

“Dang,” Kagome sympathized, once the no more than knee-high flowing water was in her sights. “Oh, well. At least we can get a drink. It's still good we found this, Inuyasha.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He lowered himself to pout, and take some pressure off of his throbbing leg after his fruitless run. The miko watched him somberly, before turning her attention back to the man between her legs with a helpless expression. 

‘What now?’ 

He studied her features a moment, as if considering her silent question and looked back down to the running water at their feet. 

Sesshoumaru knelt down to place Kagome gently on her ass. He made sure to keep her far enough away from the stream to keep dry, but close enough to easily get a drink if she wanted. 

She looked up to him gratefully, understanding the poor guy needed a moment to rest and stretch his overtaxed muscles. He’d been carrying her damn near the entire time. She’d already apologized profusely, even though he assured her that she wasn’t heavy. 

She looked over to see the dejected hanyou burying his face in his hands, but she didn’t know what to say. So she leaned over for a moment, and decided to indulge in a drink of water. She was confident it was pretty pure so near the top, but in the darkness, she decided to play it safe and purify it anyhow. 

She was about to offer her ride the next sip from her hands, but his smooth voice from behind interrupted her generosity. 

“We have found it.” 

She turned to him with a crinkled brow, hoping for a clue as to his meaning. But the dark night made his stoic features even more unreadable. 

“What?” 

“The river,” he proclaimed confidently. She was still confused, but Inuyasha deigned to lift his face from his folded arms to interject. 

“What are you talking about? You know this is only a stream. It's just melted snow running down the mountain is all.” 

“Indeed. But where does it lead?” 

A moment of silence followed his leading question. But as he realized what he meant, the hanyou’s eyes lit up in epiphany. 

“The river!” 

A smile grew upon his mopey features then, and Sesshoumaru nodded in agreement. 

“If we follow it downstream, it will take us to it.” He was watching it flow, trying to see where it was headed. Inuyasha followed his line of sight, but neither could see very far in front of him. 

But something occurred to him then. He couldn’t help but offer pessimism. They’d had enough failures on this trip to actively discourage too much hope. 

“Provided it don’t lead to a cliff or nothing.” 

And Sesshoumaru couldn’t argue that. It very might not be an easy trail of breadcrumbs, but it was better than nothing. 

“Still, we now know the way. If only I could see the stars, I would know exactly where to go.” 

He tilted his head back regretfully, only to see small patches of grey skies scattered between breaks in the dominating tree life overhead. 

“Why the stars?” Kagome asked him, bringing his gaze back down to hers. 

“I know the river is at the end of this stream, but I do not know what side of the mountain we are on. If I knew which direction we were facing, I could discern the mountainside, and I could lead us to the river on the correct stretch.” 

She considered his explanation a moment, and a simple solution made itself clear to her. She was very afraid to voice it though, for obvious reasons. 

“We can just use my compass.” 

The sudden intensity of his stare cut clearly through the black forest, and made her nervous. The last thing she wanted was to upset him. She began to fidget. 

“You still have your compass?” he asked carefully, and she nodded just as so. 

Then as proof, she slipped her hand into the pocket of her jacket, and sure enough, pulled out the item that had been the source of more than one heated spat between them. And those were simpler times. 

He rushed forward, startling her with the sudden movement as he knelt between her outstretched legs and removed it gently from her grasp. She surrendered it, and he held it up to his face, almost in awe as he studied it like a painting. 

When he lowered it again, he revealed a very satisfied smile, and the sight of it calmed her rattled nerves a great deal. 

“Good?” she ventured hopefully. Though she doubted the look he gave could mean anything but. 

“Better than good. We are going the right way.” The confirmation lightened her chest and gave her hope new life. 

“If my assumptions are correct, we will be upon the river tomorrow.” 

She couldn’t describe her happiness at his confidence, and was not at all willing to question it. When he lunged forward to engulf her in a hug, she decided to let the unexpected gesture do the talking. 

She kind of enjoyed that with how much time they’d been forced to spend physically attached to each other, he would even use his fleeting break time to wrap his arms around her, and encourage her to do the same. 

“Not so useless now, is it?” she laughed, and took his lack of response as agreement. 

He pulled back to look her square in the eyes, but she didn’t release him. His smile never faltered. 

“I could kiss you.” 

She blushed at the prospect, and was not inclined to deter him. Quite the opposite. 

“Not opposed,” she replied coyly, and hope and excitement soared. He seemed to consider her request, and felt the arms around his shoulders tighten. 

He drew closer, but only enough to read his lips. 

‘Later,’ he mouthed silently, then flicked his eyes over to his brother, who was attempting to stand. 

She smiled, and nodded in understanding, and he pressed forward again. 

She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck as he got a firm grip on her ass, and once again he lifted her off the ground to continue their march onward. This time, with a destination, a purpose, a plan... and as a result, hope. 

* * *

Another hour passed as they continued to follow the stream, and the trio was understandably worn down. 

It had been a particularly grueling evening at the end of a brutally unforgiving week, and the few leading up to that had not been any better. But the stream had yet to lead them to an impasse, and with each mile traveled, the prospect of reaching the end became more tangible. 

But it was the dead of winter, and the nights were long. And despite the desperate drive to move forward, they knew that it would be better to sleep through the dark hours and awaken in time to use the light of day to aid them in their travels. 

Not to mention, they were all getting tired. Inuyasha was struggling to keep up at this point. He’d surely pushed his injury well past the extent of its capabilities. And after the third exaggerated yawn in ten minutes, Sesshoumaru could see that the miko in his arms was not far from falling asleep in them. 

He was exhausted too. So now, he’d decided that the first suitable place he found to safely get them some rest would serve as their stopping point. Then could pick up following the stream in the morning. 

But so far, he hadn’t found anywhere to stash them. He was concerned about letting his guard down and falling asleep out in the open. It was cold and uncomfortable, but there was also a risk of being discovered. He would have volunteered to stay up and keep watch, but he was loathe to admit that at the first opportunity, he would drift quickly as the others surely would. 

Inuyasha was beginning to stumble with some frequency, and he’d nearly tripped over a few tree roots himself. It was finally time to stop; they were just going to have to hunker down and hope for the best. 

That’s when he noticed a very large tree off in the distance. Not the tallest he’d seen, but one of the largest in circumference. It might have to do, as they could huddle around the base and perhaps be shielded from any potential passersby. 

When he began to stride over, Inuyasha continued to follow. But the path was becoming more treacherous and overgrown on the trek over, causing the hanyou to become curious of his intentions. Before he could ask, Sesshoumaru stopped them in front of the very large tree. 

“What is it?” he asked, causing Kagome to startle from her near sleep state. But he didn’t reply. Simply made a show of perusing the impressive tree as he circled around the base. 

When he got to the other side, he stilled. The hole that was dug beneath the roots almost looked like an animal’s burrow. Perhaps it was abandoned. But by the size of it, he wasn‘t sure he wanted to disturb what may be sleeping within. 

But when he crouched down, with Kagome still cradled carefully in his arms, a closer look at the roots revealed something about the tree. Despite outward appearances, it was dead. 

“It is hollow,” he announced to no one, earning to questioning looks. 

“So?” his brother asked, but he only answered by placing the miko down on the ground. 

He got on his hands and knees, and looked ridiculously like a dog who was sniffing out a fox hole. But the others only watched as he cautiously entered the large opening head first. 

They shard puzzled looks at each other as Sesshoumaru burrowed further, and before they knew it, half of his body had disappeared into its depths. Then, he retreated. 

“Is something there?” Inuyasha wondered, and he brushed the loose dirt out of his hair. 

“Nothing,” he informed him. “It’s perfect.” 

They looked on confused as he elaborated. 

“Crawling in will be painful. But it will be the last time this evening. Then, I can assure your safety.” 

“We’re gonna sleep in a hole?” his brother asked incredulously. He simply responded with calm. 

“No. In the tree. The trunk is completely hollow, and large enough to fit us all comfortably. We will be shielded from the elements, as well as the eyes of others.” 

He turned from a dumbfounded hanyou to give the miko his orders. 

“Scoot in on your back. I will pull you through.” 

And with that, he dove back into the hole beneath the roots, until it swallowed him up completely. 

They only looked at each other a moment before relenting, and doing as they were told. Inuyasha tried to get her into the tree as painlessly as possible, and Sesshoumaru pulled her up by the arms in a reverse of what they had done at the dungeon. She cried out at some unavoidable jostling along the way, but as soon as she was in, Sesshoumaru pulled her back to his chest and sat them against the inside of the tree. 

Inuyasha cursed as he struggled his way inside, and when his brother broke away from his cooing to offer his aid, he was quickly refused. 

“I got it,” he insisted gruffly. And after he was inside, he claimed the opposite side of the hollowed-out tree for his own. With legs stretched out in front of him, he looked around the giant tree trunk to see what they were dealing with. 

It was tall, and narrowed slightly. It was too dark to see the top, but seeing as there was no light shining through, he gathered that they were covered. There were no signs of bats or any other living creatures to contend with, which was a plus. And around where they sat on the dirt was enclosed by the roots – now dead and useless – still buried deep enough in the earth to keep the giant tree standing. They were completely sealed in, save for the small hole they crawled in through. 

They were protected from the wind and rain, and body heat would soon help aid in warmth. Sesshoumaru seemed eager to speed it along, however, as he had Kagome’s frame surrounded with his own. 

She – just like Inuyasha – had her legs stuck out in front of her. Some clever weaving allowed both of them to retain the position in close quarters, while Sesshoumaru’s knees were bent, and his hands were busy at work rubbing warmth into Kagome’s arms. She wrapped her jacket around her more tightly, and leaned back into his embrace. 

They could hardly see each other. The position of their entry hole left little opportunity for light to shine through. So for a moment, heavy breathing around noises of discomfort filled the space while they adjusted themselves. 

It was silent for while, before Inuyasha folded his good leg and shifted himself forward. Kagome felt his hand gently touch her ankle, before wrapping around it and lifting it slowly. 

A bit shocked at his audacity, she gave an indignant squeak as he continued to raise her bum leg high onto his shoulder. She did not attempt to wrench it from him, as any movement on her own was unbearable. 

“What are you doing?” she demanded, and Sesshoumaru watched on intently, not yet protesting his brother’s strange indulgence, but holding her tighter nonetheless. 

The action had her reclining into him somewhat, which he enjoyed. But it was only for the darkness and his brother’s human eyes sight that he allowed the otherwise revealing position. 

“You need to keep it elevated. I'm gonna hold this here for 20 minutes.” 

The prop kept her knee above heart level, which should reduce the volume somewhat. It had graduated to cantaloupe size by now, so it definitely needed some relief. She found the position also not painful, as long as he continued to support her and didn’t let her foot drop. That would be bad. 

“Too bad the snow’s gone. Could really use some ice right about now.” 

She had to admit, she was impressed. He’d never indicated he had any sort of healing knowledge. It was always her who was helping him to get well. 

“Where did you learn that?” she couldn’t help but ask. 

“Feh. You really think I wasn’t paying attention? You’ve bandaged me up enough times.” 

She hoped he could see the smile she was giving him. He’d never taken care of her like this, and she found his efforts very sweet. At the same time, Sesshoumaru had resumed rubbing up and down her arms, and she got the distinct feeling she was being looked after as a pack would do; the bothers working together to ensure that she healed. But she wouldn’t dare accuse them of it. 

Instead, she allowed herself to relax. Leaning back into Sesshoumaru’s hard form behind her, she gave a small sigh and tilted her head to find him looking down at her thoughtfully. It was hard to see him, but she had the feeling she was being assessed. 

“I really wish I had my pills now.” Yep, this was exactly what they were prescribed for. But she remembered how fuzzy they had made her during her recovery. She couldn’t even remember those weeks immediately after surgery. 

Though, she’d forgotten how badly this injury hurt. And they did help when the pain was at its very worse... 

But they were in her backpack, unfortunately. 

At the utterance, he paused his movements and his friction halted. She was confused when he pushed her away from him slightly, and she felt the sensation of him arranging his clothes behind her. Suddenly, she was very interested what he was up to. 

“I did take something else besides the necklace,” he informed her; he was still fiddling with something. 

She was amused at the prospect. Sesshoumaru, the thief... 

“Mr. Sticky Fingers. What’d you nab? Tell me its food.” He felt brief regret at the oversight of providing nourishment. First thing in the morning, he would be sure to find something for them to eat. But for now, he would give her all he had to offer. 

Reaching his arms around her, in one hand he produced a pipe. Knowing she could not see well, he held it closely to her face for inspection. She squinted as she looked at it, the foreign smell immediately catching her attention. 

“Is that hash?” She wondered. She'd never been around the stuff, but she knew what a pipe was for. There were those who touted its’s medicinal benefits, though she did not give it much credence. Whatever small relief it may provide, it would not be enough to make much difference. Not where this injury was concerned. 

Plus, she didn’t need to be paranoid right now. 

She was ready to refuse, but his other arm wrapped around her, and he produced a fire stick of some kind. She’d heard of soldiers using them to light their rifle wicks, and figured it might have gotten _donated_ along with Juzo’s sword and shirt. 

But before she got the chance to turn it down, he shocked her with his clarification. 

“Opium.” It was offered hopefully; eagerly. He sounded like he was proud to give this to her; pleased to have procured it, as if it had been something she’d asked for. Something she’d sought. 

And it’s the thought that counts, but she wasn’t sure she liked what this meant he thought of her. 

“I can’t smoke that,” she told him, pushing it away. He seemed confused by her refusal. 

“You said it is the same as your pills,” he recalled, and now it all made sense. 

She remembered explaining pain killers to him. In their absence, she supposed this was the next best thing. It was sweet of him to think of her. And really, pretty amazing he had been able to find it on such short notice. 

But should she? She wasn’t one for altering her senses, aside from the occasional glass or three of sake. And this was serious stuff that she didn’t want to get messed up in. 

But he was right. It was not much different from her pills. This way just seemed... _dirtier_ than the other way. 

But these were desperate times, and her knee really hurt. Not to mention, it would be rude to refuse, and he was still holding it out in front of her expectantly... 

“Take it. You are in pain.” That pleading tone was just too much. 

What the hell? Let’s smoke some opium. It wasn’t like she was going to ever come across it again. This was a one-time deal. 

She reached out timidly, and finally took the pipe from his grasp. She studied it a moment to see how it worked, and with the scrape of the fire stick against the inside of the tree, he held the flame for her and put it where it needed to go. 

She inhaled, feeling the thick smoke enter her lungs immediately, and just as quick, it was out again with the choking cough she expelled. 

He rubbed her back sympathetically as she hacked, and put out his flame before he set the whole tree on fire. She tried to hand it his pipe back to him as soon as she got her bearings, but he did not move to accept. 

“Take another,” he ordered. By now, she was already beginning to feel the effects of the hit she had taken, and couldn’t deny her pain had already ebbed incredibly. On top of that, her stress was melting away, taking the heavy burden upon her shoulders with it. She obeyed. 

It was still burning when she hit it a second time, and this round went much smoother. She knew what to expect, so she had been able to breath it all in without the painful coughing at the end. 

Finally satisfied, he removed it from her this time. She didn’t seem to register it when he then lifted it to his own lips and took a hit as well. 

Inuyasha, who had been watching on silently with dumbfounded interest, turned down his brother’s generous offer to share it with him. He muttered something about getting enough in the form of residuals from the two of them. But it did not take much goading to make him relent, and help relieve the terrible pain in his leg. 

It was a comfortable silence after that. A relaxed, serene peace that had been so well-deserved yet entirely too elusive settled them into a comfort they had not felt in a very long time. Stiff, abused and damaged muscles became pudding, and thoughts of worry and woe were banished as they watched the opium smoke swirl towards the hole and escape into the mountain. 

Kagome’s twenty minutes were up, and Inuyasha cautiously removed her foot and placed it to rest gently in his lap. She felt no pain in the action, and she wasn’t sure if it had more to do with the swelling having lessened, or the drugs she took. 

She continued to let her weight fall completely back, and be absorbed into the Western Lord behind her. He accepted her willingly, and instead of warming her with his soothing hand motions, he now simply had his arms wrapped protectively around her; pulling her tightly to him, yet not so much as to cause discomfort. 

She lifted her hands to her shoulders where his crossed, and placed them gently on his arms to let him know she appreciated his touch. 

Suddenly, Inuyasha’ voice rang through the blackness. 

“ _Ain’t_ _no sunshine when she’s gone,_

_It’s not warm when she’s away,_

_Ain’t_ _no sunshine when she’s gone,_

_And she's always gone too long,_

_Any time she goes away...”_

The soft, gentle singing out of nowhere pulled Kagome from her stupor, and caused her to smile at the hanyou she couldn’t quite make out in the dark. 

“You remember that song?” she asked him. She recalled the day he came to drag her back from the future while she was cramming for her test. Music always helped her study, so she had her mp3 player going in the background while she made flashcards for her biology midterm. 

He was pouty when she scolded him for his impatience, and told him he was going to have to wait until she was done. Out of spite, he did; taking a seat on her bed and moping so she knew how unhappy he was. 

But as the song played in the silence between them, something within him seemed to relax. When he asked her about it, she offered to replay it for him so he could listen again. It seemed to help his patience to attempt and memorize all the words, so she ended up playing it on repeat until he had it down cold. By the time he did, she had enough study material to bring with her to the past so she could be ready for the test when she returned. 

“We used to sing it all the time when you went home.” His voice, though distant, traveled back to her on an air of happy reminiscence. She could hear him smiling, even though she couldn't see it. 

“Really?” She was unaware the others knew the song. She couldn’t remember ever singing it in the past. Or even the future, really. It was an okay song, but not one she would put in a playlist or anything. 

“Yeah. I taught Miroku after you taught me,” he informed her. Though, if he were being perfectly honest, it was more like the monk heard him singing it when it was stuck in his head. Miroku always was a quick study. “Whenever I was starting to get too cranky waiting for you to come back, he would always sing it to piss me off.” He chuckled then, “And make me laugh.” 

She was smiling wide. She could picture it. Picture them, her friends, clear as day, and all of the fun they used to have together. Those simple times seemed so far away right now. She wondered if they would ever get that back. 

“Shippo started singing it too, when he was missing you too bad.” Her happy, reflective smile turned sad in an instant, as thoughts of the little kit consumed her memories. 

It had been so long since she’d seen him. He didn’t even know where they were. She hoped he was faring okay. 

“That's sweet,” she managed, keeping her emotions in check. “I wonder how he is doing.” 

She absentmindedly began stroking the arms enclosed around her shoulders, and didn’t seem to notice when he squeezed her tighter in response. 

“Probably causing headaches for everyone at kitsune school,” he guessed, probably fairly accurately. “Probably singing the sunshine song a lot, too.” 

Her thoughts strayed to the little kit, and fantasized about all the things he was up to. Good things. 

“ _Wonder this time where she’s gone,_

_Wonder if she’s going to stay,_

_Ain’t_ _no sunshine when she’s gone,_

_And this house just ain’t no home,_

_Any time she goes away...”_

The two of them sung in unison and very off key. They seemed to get lost in the _‘I Knows_ ,’ neither remembering how many there were, and giggling through the attempt. But it was Inuyasha’s last, loud recitation that caused them both to completely lose it. 

“ _You better leave young thing alone,_

_Ain’t_ _no-”_

Her laughing fit caused him to break and join her, and the joyous sound echoed all the way up and down the large hollow tree. Finally, through her tears, she managed to get ahold of herself and address him again. 

“We should stop,” she suggested, and turned her head to try and look up at her backrest apologetically. “We’re probably annoying Sesshoumaru.” 

She expected that to be that, but she didn’t expect his silky-smooth monotone to rumble pleasingly from behind her. 

“You may sing, if you wish.” He surprised them both with his concession, and Kagome wondered if she should include him. She turned again, and tried to take him in. 

“You want us to teach you?” she asked timidly. 

She couldn’t tell if he was considering it, or simply pausing to smile down at her. He lifted one of his hands to rake fingers through her hair in a soothing action that had her eyes drifting shut. 

“No. But I will listen.” 

She wondered if it was soothing for him to listen to them sing, but with the octaves they hit, she kind of doubted it. Unless, of course, it was their contentment, and not the song itself that soothed him. 

As a pack alpha, it likely pleased his spirit to know that those he cared for were at ease. 

They only made him suffer through one more run through of the song before she got tired enough to fall asleep right there propped between his legs. Once she did, he adjusted her carefully so that her head fell comfortably against his shoulder, and he pulled her jacket together snugly to make sure she was warm enough. 

It was dark, but even with his human eyes Inuyasha could see a few things very clearly. One of those things was the way his brother held the miko so delicately in his grasp, and another the way he brushed bangs out of her sleeping face so tenderly as not to cause her to wake. He saw the way was looking down at her, assessing everything he could to ensure she had everything she could possibly need at the moment. 

But he saw even more than that. 

“That's twice you saved her,” Inuyasha said. Sesshoumaru didn’t look up from her slumbering form, but instead resumed his previous rubbing to keep her rain-soaked body heat up. 

“Three times, if you count warding off hypothermia,” Sesshoumaru saw fit to correct him. And really, it had been many more than that. But he wasn’t including all the times before he turned human, nor all the times where he simply warded off assault. If he had, it would be in the dozens. 

Inuyasha watched another moment as his brother seemed to lose himself in his thoughts. He was still stroking her; still looking down at her with a kind of awed reverence. 

“Do you love her?” The question was enough to halt his stroking, but apparently not enough to pry his eyes from her. Nor his thoughts 

“I’m not sure I know what love is.” What started out as an admission was beginning to feel like insistence, but the only way he was lying was if he was lying to himself, and he found that very hard to believe. 

Still, he sounded far away. Halfway to realization, and curious, yet resistant to complete his journey. 

“It's just how much you care,” Inuyasha began simply, as if it were obvious. “You would give your life to protect her, because you can’t stand the thought of living without her.” 

He still couldn’t tear his eyes away. He had not intended to speak further, but his lips were moving of their own accord. When they did, his voice sounded raspy, and hushed. 

“What if living without her was the only way to protect her?” 

He was holding her so firmly, yet so gently, as if she may break at any moment. He almost seemed afraid to move; to breath. 

Inuyasha creased his brow at the desperate sounding question. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I vowed to protect Rin with my life. However, I selfishly wished her to remain by my side.” He scowled then, as if disgusted with himself. “I knew she would be safer in a human village. But she begged me not to leave her, and I could not deny her request. I wanted her with me as well.” 

He remembered the day clearly. It was one he relived countless times by now. That decision had been the first time he had gone against his better judgement, simply to appease his own desires, as well as another’s. 

That had been weakness. He should have seen it then, because it was very clear to him now. And now, that moment of weakness may have cost Rin her life. In holding his desires above all else, he had cost himself the only thing in this world he had ever held precious. He got what he deserved, but Rin did not. 

“And now, she might be dead, or suffering, all because I wasn’t strong enough to let her go. It would have been in her best interests.” 

How he wished he could go back, and deny her request to remain with him. If he had one wish, he would do it in a heartbeat. But wishes just don’t come true. If they did, there were many things he would see changed. 

“She couldn’t stand the thought of living without you. She must have decided it was worth the risk,” Inuyasha tried, but only earned a human sounding growl in response. 

“She did not understand the risks. Now she does. I am sure that if she is alive, she is regretting her choice.” 

Kagome began to stir at his increased volume and tensing muscles. Realizing this, he softened himself again, and rubbed her slightly to ease her back into sleep. 

“I’m sure she’d regret it if she was left at a village, too,” Inuyasha lowered his voice above a whisper while his brother fussed a moment over the miko’s comfort. “So would you, I’d wager. Then she’d be hurting a whole lifetime.” 

“She would be safe,” Sesshoumaru insisted with an air of finality, and there really wasn’t anything Inuyasha could say to that. It was probably true. It still didn’t make it the right choice. 

“I have already failed one human girl. That cannot be undone.” The regret, the tortured defeat in his voice prevented Inuyasha from refuting him. He just... felt terrible for him. But as he continued to look down at his best friend like she was all that he saw, flickerings of hope began to sprout that the hanyou did not want to impede. 

“But maybe, by keeping this one safe, it will ease the burden of my failure just slightly.” Then something almost – _almost_ – like a smile graced his lips, as he continued to take her in, like he had just discovered a new element. 

“Perhaps I can find redemption in Kagome,” he admitted hopefully. But that intense burden returned and increased tenfold. “But I cannot lose another one.” 

His assessment worried Inuyasha. Sure, he was happy he was so committed to protecting her. But he was letting entirely too much ride on the miko that had earned their high regard. He was putting all of his self-worth into his ability to keep her safe. If, kami forbid, anything ever happened to her, he worried if Sesshoumaru would be able to take it. 

“You're putting too much pressure on yourself. It's not up to you to protect everyone, especially not now.” He looked sympathetically at his brother whose focus still remained on Kagome. 

“It's okay to need help; we all do sometimes.” He looked at him, and paused, and made a cautious, albeit bold assumption. “Maybe it's your turn to be saved. But you have to let her help you. You can’t just run away.” 

That finally did it. Finally, he turned his head and acknowledged that he heard him. But now that he had his attention, Inuyasha realized he said all he could say. At least, as far as Kagome was concerned. But there was still more to admit. 

“I should have trusted you... with Tetsusaiga.” Sesshoumaru was not prepared for the abrupt change in topic, and it caused him to straighten slightly. He was surprised at his brother’s confession, but sought to use it to help get himself together. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t. If I had, we never woulda been captured.” 

“Why should you have?” he asked him, some of the firmness returned to his tone. The regret never left, however. “I did not even realize I had stopped desiring that sword until you accused me of it.” 

“Cuz you’re different now,” he insisted, and both were somewhat surprised when Sesshoumaru made no attempts to refute him. But his silence gave Inuyasha time to pose another question. 

“Why’d you stop wanting it?” 

There was a moment’s pause as he gave his answer due consideration. 

“Other matters arose that were of greater importance.” Though referring to many things, both looked down to the sleeping woman in his arms. When Sesshoumaru lifted his gaze to meet his brother’s eyes, he added, “Also, I did not need it. You needed its power more than I did.” 

And that had been true. That was the reason why his father left it to his brother, and not him. At the time, he had all the power he would ever need. 

“Not anymore.” Sesshoumaru tried to glare at the assessment, but he could not deny that fact. “You don’t have anything, and look at all the stuff I got? I'd say you need it more right now.” 

He wasn’t trying to brag, or rub it in, though turnabout would be fair play. But even when trying to be allies, their rivalry ran deep, and was not easily put aside. They were not ones to mince words. In being blunt with each other, even cruel, perhaps there was a solution to be discovered. But maybe not. 

He didn’t know why he was bringing it up, but he couldn’t help but draw parallels. 

“It’s the same with Kagome. That’s why I ain’t mad about you two.” 

“What?” the elder brother demanded, not exactly sure what he was implying. 

“You need her more. She used to be all I had, but now...” Yes, as he said, look at all the whelp had now. And what did he have? What did human Sesshoumaru have to his name? At times, only her. 

“And I see how she is with you. How she makes you better. She did the same with me.” A blush stained his cheeks that could not be seen in the dark. But his smirk could. “Well, not exactly the same.” 

Sure, Kagome had loved him. At least, she thought she did. But the reaction she had to his brother was a good deal more... mature. He might be human tonight, but when he was a hanyou, his nose didn’t lie. He could smell how she feels about his brother, and it was not the same way she smelled when around him. 

It could be that she was older now. It could be that he’d actually reciprocated. Or, it could be something different. Either way, it seemed to be leading to one thing. 

The dark once again concealed his blush, and his entire uncomfortable countenance. 

“Are you gonna... you know?” He didn’t really want to know this side of his brother. But Kagome would always be his concern. He needed to know she was going to be okay. So, it was really his duty to pry. 

“I don’t know,” Sesshoumaru admitted, shocking them both with his ignorance. Or really, with any kind of serious response to the personal question. 

“Why not?” 

He looked down at her again, somewhat ashamed of speaking of her like this while she slept. 

“She is upset because I told her I must sever all ties once I am a demon again.” He remembered how displeased she had been at the mansion, and was greatly disappointed when she put an end to their shared affections. 

But there was a renewed interest for sure. He just couldn’t discern exactly what she wanted. She seemed willing enough to proceed, but he could see how attached she was becoming already; the pain in her aura at knowing it would not last. 

He was not certain he wanted to move along too quickly, knowing it would eventually hurt her. He would have to tread very carefully, and in the end, he didn’t know if it would even matter. 

“Who says you have to? You still gotta problem with humans and demons getting together?” 

He heard the accusation in his brother’s voice, and for some reason became defensive. 

“Not just I,” he insisted. “There are many who would see her harmed as a result. Many who would see it as desertion on my end; as betrayal.” He easily suppressed a sneer, but not the resentment in his violet eyes. “I am supposed to sire full blooded heirs; lead by example. She is a threat to all of that.” 

Inuyasha frowned at him. His brother had always endured his heavy burden of duty with stoicism and resignation. And he couldn’t claim to understand what it must be like to have such lofty expectations placed on him at birth. Inuyasha had no such expectations. None, in fact. And though Sesshoumaru had been born and bred to rule his father’s lands, and command a race of demons, and thus had been given every luxury at his disposal to see it through, he wondered if at times he did not envy his younger sibling. 

Sure, Inuyasha was given nothing, but that included a void of responsibilities and presumptions. He might not have armies and servants and treasures and bitches at his beck and call, but he had always been his own man, answering to no one except for himself. There was no one to disappoint because there was no one to impress. And even though Sesshoumaru had been a lord who could supposedly do whatever he pleased, Inuyasha was actually free. 

Perhaps it was that freedom that was the inheritance Sesshoumaru truly envied. Now more than ever it appeared to be so. 

“Not as much as you might think,” he offered, trying to relay hope. “Our numbers are growing; it ain’t such a big deal as it used to be.” Well, it was sort of true. Hanyous were by no means accepted or valued, but a grudging tolerance was beginning to force cracks in the edges of propriety. 

He had once thought he was alone in the world, but during his travels he had encountered a few more like him, and even met people like his friends who didn’t view him as some sort of mistake of nature. 

With the right support, an alliance between the species was perhaps on the horizon. His father may not have done enough to normalize fraternization, but maybe his brother would be up to the task. It was something he never would have considered until very recently. 

“Besides, you’re strong. Those idiots look up to you; follow you. You could be the one to make it okay. They listen to you.” 

Sesshoumaru would not deny having considered this himself. If he wished it so, he could impose his will as such. But it would not be an easy sell, and the war hard-won. Disrupting the status quo would incite mass instability, and many would pay with their lives. 

He just wasn’t certain if he was willing to take on such a cause, knowing how much would be lost. Knowing what all was at stake. Would it even be worth it? 

“It is not the only reason,” he imparted somberly. Inuyasha furrowed his brow. 

“Then what?” 

“As you said, I have changed.” They both knew he was not simply referring to his outward appearance. His human form was far from the most glaring difference in him these days. “I am not as I was, and she has become familiar with myself in this form. When I am youkai again, I will return to the body of a youkai who has done terrible things.” If he didn‘t know any better, Inuyasha would have sworn his admission was laced with regret. “Committed many atrocities. Many against you, and even some against her.” 

Yes, the regret in his eyes was unmistakable when he returned them to the slumbering miko in his arms. Even though he had changed, he never thought his brother capable of such a feat. But he remained defiant despite his disbelief. 

“So? Kagome don’t care about that stuff. Like you said, you’ve changed. For the better. It ain’t like you’re gonna go back to doing that stuff, right?” 

He projected confidence, but his question was tinged with insecurity. Because in truth, he really didn’t know what his brother was thinking. He hoped after all this, that things could be different. But there was always that worry, stalking the back of his thoughts that when he changed back, Sesshoumaru would go back to being his old bastard self. The prospect caused him to hurt in an unfamiliar way. He didn’t want to go back to the way things were. He didn’t want to go back to hating him, or being hated. 

But his simple answer removed weeks of weights and worries, and allowed for a relief he did not know his brother was capable of granting. 

“It is unlikely I will leave this form unaltered,” he admitted. 

The breath Inuyasha exhaled next worked to expel the dark, unnamed plague that had consumed more of his form than he’d been aware. He smiled. 

“See, there ya go. That’s all that matters to her.” 

But Sesshoumaru was not granted such reprieve. His burden still weighed heavy, and he looked like he might buckle from the bow it made. 

“I tried to kill her.” His shameful admission was aimed at her, and gasped out like an apology. Inuyasha couldn’t help it. He chuckled. 

“So have I.” First upset with his humored reaction, Sesshoumaru’s glare at his brother became one of surprise. “So have a lotta demons she is still friends with. Miroku and Koga both kidnapped her, and they are best of friends, unfortunately.” This information did not please him, however, and he was forced to temper his upset. “It seems to be a good way to get her to love you. And if you have that, it’d be crazy to give that up.” 

“You did,” he pointed out bitterly. And despite not being pleased at the response, Inuyasha managed a smirk. 

“Yeah, cuz I wanted someone better for her. Someone who can take care of her right. Protect her.” 

“And that man is me.” Though not formed as a question, it displayed doubt in his brother’s judgement. But Inuyasha met it with confidence. 

“In the last few days, you saved her from falling off a bridge, broke her out of prison, carried her for miles and kept her from getting raped. I can’t think of better hands for her to be in.” 

While all true, he could not take credit for helping her out of scenarios he had put her in in the first place. It was like saying he saved her from drowning after throwing her overboard. 

“She was in all those situations because of me. I have done nothing but place her into danger.” 

“She wouldn’t be anywhere else,” he insisted, but it gave little solace. Even his mere presence caused her to behave recklessly. “You didn’t ask her to help, she demanded it. And when she sets her mind to something, it's kinda out of your control.” 

It was true. He knew that Kagome didn’t do a damn thing she didn’t want to. But he didn’t want to be the one responsible for stoking those foolish inclinations. If he wasn’t around, she wouldn’t even have the option to help him. 

Seeing his conflict persist, Inuyasha audibly sighed. It was late. He was tired. He just wanted to go to sleep, and when he woke up he would be hanyou again. He couldn’t remember ever desiring to be a half breed so badly. 

He leaned back, allowing himself to recline against the dead inner shell of a once great tree, and closed his eyes. 

“It's obvious you care about each other. And you may be strong, but I think you are underestimating how much losing that is gonna hurt. But hey, don’t come crying to me when some other guy scoops her up and she leaves you in the dust.” 

But if things went as they were supposed to, that was the result Sesshoumaru was hoping for. 

With Rin, he’d made a costly mistake. He put his own desires above her well-being. He would not make that mistake again. 

He had told her he would protect her as long as he was human, but he must now admit it would go beyond that. He would protect her as a youkai, and for the rest of his life. 

And to protect her, he was going to have to abandon her. It was what he should have done with Rin. He had learned his lesson. 

She would have no trouble finding another human to share her life with, and he would give her his sincere blessing when the time came. 

But the thought had him drawing her even closer to his chest. 

The light sounds of snoring from across the tree told him he was alone at last. He took the moment of privacy to look longingly at her again. With no one to bear witness, he brushed her hair away, and indulged in a silent lament. 

Regrets and what ifs led him through brief foolish fantasies, and he let himself reside in a world where he could have everything he wanted. A world where he was truly free. 

Before drawing back, and resigning himself to the reality he had been born into, he peeled back her bangs and lowered his lips to her forehead. 

She sighed at the contact, and settled in against him, and all of his sadness washed away, giving birth to a wonderful warmth in his chest he was in no hurry to relinquish. 

And then he smiled, half-lidded and happy, and he remained that way until sleep at last claimed him too. 

* * *

It was just after dawn when he stirred. The feeling of thick, warm material being settled over him was enough to rouse him from his slumber. 

Inuyasha smiled apologetically for having woken him, as it had only been a few short hours since drifting off, and his overworked body demanded a much longer reprieve from the inhuman tasks this former demon demanded of it. 

Hanyou once more, his brother stood before him on two good legs. The evidence of prior damage was gone, along with the tears in his hakama that had also repaired itself. 

Sesshoumaru seemed almost as relieved as his brother at the transformation, and he allowed the indignity of the whelp throwing his fire rat haori over him like a blanket only because it was covering the sleeping miko in his arms. 

After a brief communication, Inuyasha crawled out of the tree to go forge for breakfast. Sesshoumaru considered going back to sleep, but his muscles were cramped from his position, and he decided he needed to stretch. 

He was loathe to disturb her, but after a short debate, he decided he could live with himself for gently insisting she wake. 

His knees were still bent on either side of her, and while he reclined slightly back into the uncomfortable bark of the tree, she made similar use of him, and tilted her head back to rest on his shoulder. 

He slid his arms around her middle, pulling her against him and nuzzling her soft cheek tenderly with his own. 

She half sighed, half moaned at the pleasurable contact, and he had to exert restraint to not slide his hand down between her thighs and encourage similar noises from her. 

“Kagome?” he whispered, angling his head just enough to brush his lips against her ear. A few strands of hair got dragged between them as well. 

Another moan at the contact caused more blood to rush south, adding to the effects of his early morning affliction. 

He ignored it, and avoided grinding it against her, but he did not restrain himself from pressing his lips to her cheek, and speaking softly in her ear again. “Kagome?” 

Once again getting nowhere, a devious smirk graced his features, and he refused to find guilt - or too much enjoyment - in his plans. 

His next word came out sharper. Firmer. More commanding. Instead of a gentle suggestion, his deep voice demanded obedience, and projected authority. 

“ _Miko_.” 

That did it. She startled, instantly confused as she regained consciousness and tried to make sense of her surroundings. 

He watched it all come back to her piece by piece, and when she realized where she was, she turned back to regard the man who she’d been using as a recliner. 

His smile was promising, and comforting. And with a blush at their proximity – and her audacity – she offered an apologetic one of her own. 

His continuing comforting grip around her middle told her he didn’t mind, or at least that he forgave her, and she allowed herself to relax back into him while she indulged in a yawn. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked her. When she attempted to stretch, she was instantly reminded of her injury, and winced. 

“Still hurts.” He frowned sympathetically. 

“Would you like some more opium?” 

He asked it so earnestly, but the notion was still off-putting. She had smoked some last night, hadn’t she? And she had to admit, it really helped. But something about it was yucky to her, and she didn’t really want to partake. 

She would if it was an emergency, but she’d rather try to get on without it. 

“No. I’m gonna try and manage. I’ll take a pill when I get back to my bag.” He didn’t know why she seemed to have an aversion to his pipe, but had no qualms with her pills. She said they were the same, so why was she opposed? 

He hadn’t noticed much difference, except that the opium worked much faster. But he was willing to let it drop. Until she appeared to be in obvious pain, that is. Then, he would be forced to insist. 

“Thank you for everything. You were really amazing yesterday.” She was attempting to turn to face him, so he adjusted himself to make it easier on her. 

She’d managed to get bedhead, despite the obvious lack of a bed. So he generously lifted his hand to smooth out a few unruly locks and tuck them behind her ear. 

“It was a terrible day. I’m sorry for everything that happened to you.” 

He seemed to be offering his apology by fussing and grooming, or perhaps it was a simple way of soothing his own nerves. 

Either way, she lifted her own hand to rest on his offending arm, and stopped him. 

She looked meaningfully into eyes which appeared to be avoiding her for some reason. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” she insisted, and he withdrew his arm all together. 

“All of this is my fault.” 

Her heart broke at the shame he displayed. She wanted to tell him he was wrong. Tell him he was wonderful, and none of this was his fault. That it was all hers. But of course, she couldn’t. 

“Remember this?” His question rescued her from her guilt and captivated her with the sudden lift in his mood. The hand he withdrew was now in front of her again, and holding the amazing, glittering diamonds he’d used to spring them from prison. 

It was still dark in the tree, but enough morning light had been able to seep through the hole to see the item perfectly. 

“The necklace!” The sight perked her up, and he was pleased at the reaction. “Nifty little life saver. We’re lucky you’re so clever.” 

She returned her admiration to him, and away from the jewelry. He continued to smile as he lifted his free hand away from her belly to fiddle with the gems. His arms still encircled her as he toyed with them. 

“And not a scratch on it,” he proclaimed proudly. “A souvenir of our success.” 

He lifted it to her throat, and before she knew it, he was reclining back and fastening it behind her neck. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Putting it on you,” he replied obviously. It took a second to get the mechanism to lock. When it did, he pulled away any hair that had gotten trapped in the process. 

She allowed it, really just too shocked to protest or resist. 

“Why?” 

“Because it would look terrible on me,” he smirked, but she was too discomfited to register the joke. “And Inuyasha already has a necklace.” 

She looked down at the fabulous jewelry, and touched it carefully with her fingertips. 

She couldn't help but think that just didn’t suit her. Especially not how she was currently dressed. Fancy things just didn’t seem natural on her. It didn’t feel right. 

“That thing cut through steel bars. Won’t it cut through my neck?” She tested the diamonds carefully. She had seen them used as a saw, so she was a little wary. 

“It did not cut Juzo’s neck, did it?” he offered, and cocked an eyebrow at her. 

No, she supposed it hadn’t. The dagger had done that, courtesy of the man who currently had her encaged. She banished the unpleasant memory from her thoughts, and continued to look at the necklace in pensive awe. 

“It is not sharp to the touch,” he assured her. At her continued hesitance, he gently grabbed her hand. Turning it, he used the soft, sensitive top to drag firmly along the rows of diamonds now at her chest. 

“These are demonic diamonds. They will not cut your skin.” 

When he was through with his demonstration, he lowered her hand between them, but did not relinquish his hold. She was looking down at where they touched, but his question drew her eyes back up to him. 

“You think I would let any harm befall you?” 

She held his gaze, while her fingers absentmindedly stroked his. 

“No. I trust you.” Her answer pleased him, and he let his smile show it. 

With a faint blush at his generosity, she struggled to maintain eye contact. 

“How does it look?” 

His eyes were burning as he took her in, though he seemed more interested in her own eyes than the priceless necklace she wore. 

“Stunning.” 

“Yeah?” she asked, not fully convinced. Intimidated by his intensity, she averted her eyes downward. 

“I think I would like it very much, if you were to wear this with your burgundy lip paint.” The strange request earned him her attention again, and she filed away his preference for later use. “And put your hair up.” 

He combed his fingers through her falling locks with both of his hands, and held the hair he gathered up behind her head. He kept it like that, and gave a thoughtful pause when she turned her neck to look up at him. 

“Why up?” she asked softly, locked in his hypnotic trance. 

He shifted the hair he’d taken into one hand, and removed the other to trace one long finger slowly down the expanse of her throat. 

She shivered at the contact, and continued to tingle and buzz all along the path he made. 

“You have an elegant slope of your neck. I like when it is exposed to me.” 

He continued to trace his finger up and down, as if transfixed. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation, uninclined to stop it. 

His breathing, while soft, became heavier, and suddenly, he just wasn’t close enough. 

“Sesshoumaru?” Her voice was shaky to her own ears. “You still haven’t kissed me.” 

She remembered his promise by the stream, and now, his face... his mouth was so close to hers. 

“I did, while you were sleeping.” His detached voice spoke of his distracted state while he continued to touch her. 

“That’s... kind of creepy.” The declaration sobered him somewhat, and he smirked very faintly. 

“On your forehead. I could not resist.” The clarification seemed to satisfy her. 

“Oh, then that definitely doesn’t count.” 

“No?” 

His stroking finger stopped, and ghosted slowly up to her jaw. With his other hand in her hair, he angled her to him as he found himself moving closer. 

He didn’t have far to travel. She closed her eyes and parted her lips in anticipation of him. But though everything within him ached, and screamed at him to close those last torturous inches between them, he could not erase one troubling thought from his mind. 

When he didn’t arrive, she opened her eyes again to question him. The worry she recognized in his features spurred her own. 

“Back at the castle, I was forced to do something I did not wish to do.” 

He had been dreading this moment, and could not contain his fears of what this confession would mean for him. For them. 

The confused look she gave him requested he continue. 

“In order to escape and see you both freed, I was forced to seduce the wife of the soldier.” 

Her surprise was quickly outdone by the hurt she displayed. Her pain was his own, and he forced himself to push forward. To explain himself as fast as possible. 

“I had no desire for her, but she desired me. She saw to it that we were alone so that she may advance on me without her husband’s knowledge.” 

She had already recoiled form him, and the loss caused an irrational panic to flood his system. He forced himself to keep his composure as her eyes sought to avoid him. As if looking at him was distasteful. 

“Did you...” The question hung between them. She couldn’t even say it, and she braced herself for the answer. 

“No. Her husband returned before it came to that, thankfully.” He saw her exhale deeply, and felt a measure of relief. He would continue his confession, however. 

“But I did kiss her,” he informed her solemnly. The admission earned her eyes on his, and she took in his harrowed expression. “I saw her in her undergarments, and I grabbed her.” 

She scowled at the news, unhappy with the images his cataloging presented. Unhappy with him for putting himself in that situation. He continued his recount. 

“I had her on the bed, and that was when the soldier approached.” 

Thoughts of him kissing, touching another woman in bed had her blood cooking in her veins, and caused a painful ache in both her chest and her stomach. She snapped her face downward, unable to look, not wanting to hear anymore. 

It pained him to see her react to him this way, but he had been preparing for it. He fought the urge to grab her by the chin, to make her look at him. But he’d made his bed. He would not force any sort of reaction from her. 

He was pleased she was at least hearing him out, so he did the best to explain himself clearly. 

“I had no desire to be with that woman,” he insisted firmly. “But I knew it was my only chance to rescue you. I knew what they were planning to do to you.” 

As the insinuation hung in the air, she finally lifted her gaze, and forced herself to turn back to him. 

“And if that soldier hadn’t interrupted, I would have lain with her. I would have had to.” 

She could see his regret, his torment. But even though he had his reasons, it still made her ill with jealousy. She couldn’t contain the resentment she felt at him for putting them in this situation. For ruining an otherwise sweet moment between them now. 

“Why are you telling me this?” Though she felt the sting in her eyes, she ordered the tears not to fall. She was not going to cry over this. If he could have an upfront and honest conversation with her, then she could too. 

“Because I remember your conditions. My involvement with any other females would see your interest in me extinguished.” 

She considered it was good that he at least cared. That he at least had tried to adhere to her request. It offered some solace, though very little. For it didn’t change the fact that he’d had his mouth on someone else. No matter the reason, the act was still painful for her to accept. 

“I do not want to be with anyone else,” he assured her. This time, he could not resist lifting his hand to softly guide her chin in his direction. He looked right into her eyes, and hated the sorrow he’d put there. “But what is the point of having your regard if you are not alive to give it? I did what had to be done, and I would do it again.” 

When she said nothing, he released her, and continued to wait. He’d said all he could say. He’d told her everything, and explained his reasons. It was up to her if she wanted to forgive him. 

He was growing impatient, and nervous waiting for her reaction, however. When he could no longer take it, he gently prompted her. 

“Are you angry?” 

He waited breathlessly for her to gather her thoughts. Though he exuded patience, he was tense to his core. 

“I’m not happy that you touched another woman,” she finally admitted. “I don’t want to think about it. But I understand why you had to do it.” 

He allowed himself to hope in the face of her understanding, but his guilt, and regret prevented him from soaring too high on those wings. 

“You didn’t have to tell me that. Why did you?” 

He was somewhat confused by her question. Would she have preferred his reticence? 

“I do not want you to ever question my loyalty. You continue to hold my interest. And I did not want you to think I had anything to hide.” He raised a condemning, almost incredulous brow. “You would rather I lied to you?” 

She didn’t want to admit she almost would have, because she did not want him lying to her in the future. But if she were being honest with herself, she would have been a lot happier never knowing this about him. 

“Of course not. It's just...I never would have known.” And maybe that would have been better. Because knowing this did not change how she felt about him, and it only caused her suffering. 

“Perhaps not. But if that is something that cannot be forgiven, you deserved to know it.” 

And that was how he really felt. He didn’t want to have her interest under false pretenses. If anything he had ever done had rendered him unworthy in her eyes, he would have her know it, not shield her from it. She would have all of the facts, and be free to make her decisions accordingly. 

Another moment of silence ensued in which he could hardly endure his anxiety. Once again, he prompted. 

“Am I forgiven?” 

That hopeful, worried look he leveled her with as he awaited judgement was too much to bear. She didn’t want to make him feel bad. Quite the opposite. 

And she knew he felt the same about her. He didn’t do anything to hurt her. Quite the opposite. 

She placed her hand gently on his cheek as he bore down into her expectantly. 

“Of course.” 

She felt his relief as all the tension left his body. He looked like he wanted to smile, but he was not yet allowing himself the pleasure. 

“Kagome, I-” 

But, tired of waiting for him, she finally took the initiative and lifted her chin to meet his lips mid-sentence. He didn’t seem to mind it, disregarding whatever he was going to say to communicate himself to her non verbally. 

His soft lips relished hers, and he took the time to thoroughly explore them before even venturing to go deeper. Her hand at his cheek moved into his hair, grasping at short locks and scratching her nails lightly into his scalp. He groaned softly at the action. 

His own palm guided her face tenderly to his, while his other grabbed her side, and traveled up to her arm in an effort to keep her close. 

This kiss was gentle, and careful. But completely unrushed. There was gratitude in this kiss, in that both were aware how precarious their position was, and how fickle fate could be, and how lucky they were to have each other for this moment in time, if nothing else. 

When he sought her tongue, she met him willingly. The feel of firm, wet satin sliding across her slowly had her moaning in appreciation, and he held her even tighter. 

The kiss continued for a long time, and she was getting painfully hot between her legs. She wanted more. She wanted him to touch her there. To touch her breasts. To relieve the pressure for her. 

She was disappointed when he didn’t, but instead pulled away, allowing her at last to catch up on breath while he righted is own. 

He seemed pleased with her reaction, though he still appeared troubled as he looked deeply and meaningfully into her eyes again. 

“If I’d had to sleep with that woman, would you still have forgiven me?” 

She frowned. She didn’t want to think about it. In fact, she wanted to forget the whole unfortunate event had ever happened. 

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. It would have made it harder. But luckily, they wouldn't have to find out. And they better not ever. 

“Hopefully, your dick won't be the crux of any more life or death situations.” 

She meant to sound admonishing, but she could tell he was amused at her assessment. 

“You might be surprised.” 

She couldn’t help it; she smiled. The smirk, and the little sparkle of mischief in his eyes was too much to ignore. 

“Yeah, I might not actually,” she replied, and smiled bigger when he squeezed her to him and stole another kiss on her cheek. 

* * *

They had a fire ready by the time Inuyasha returned with breakfast. Over their meal was when he informed them of his plan. 

On his hunt, he’d ventured ahead, and was able to confirm that the river wasn’t far. In just a half a day’s hike they would be there, if they continued following the stream. 

But with Kagome’s knee, it was clear she would not be able to make it across. He, on the other hand, could use his hanyou advantages to cross it without issue. 

He’d decided to escort them to the river, and ensure they had everything they needed. Once there, he would cross it alone, and use his strength and speed to reunite with Miroku and Sango in the village they were supposed to meet at. 

Once he found a boat, he would return to take the others across. It was the fastest, safest way to get everyone over. His only qualm in the past had been leaving Kagome’s side. But in light of recent events, he decided that his brother was a worthy substitute in his absence. 

Now that he was all healed up, Inuyasha volunteered to carry Kagome and give his brother’s tired muscles a break. Reluctantly, Sesshoumaru agreed. He was going to need his strength. Once they got over, the tiger’s compound would be in their crosshairs. 


	24. Healing Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When it gets tough, keep reading. You need to trust me.... but don’t trust me too much. 

They stopped when they finally made it to the river’s edge. Inuyasha wasted no time transferring the young woman he was carrying into his brother’s waiting arms, and the symbolism wasn’t lost on any of them. Kagome was dressed in the hanyou’s fire rat robe, and that was how it was going to stay. He insisted she keep it while he was gone, because it felt less like he was abandoning her if he left a piece of himself behind. 

His clothing was resistant to fire, but water as well. It would have dried instantly if he’d swam across in it, but he wanted to leave it for her in case it rained tonight. The white juban he always wore underneath was not so well crafted, so he took a moment to remove it as well, and held it out to Kagome. But she was just as resistant accepting that shirt as the one she currently wore. She didn’t like the idea of him running around topless with nothing to protect him. 

“I’ll be fine. I’m a hanyou remember.” After the kidnapping, he seemed inclined to remind her. “Besides, it’s just gonna get wet anyway. What good’ll it do me?” 

She couldn’t argue with that, but she didn’t get the chance anyway. He balled up the clothing and dunked it right in her lap, adding to Sesshoumaru’s bundle slightly. 

While the brothers exchanged words about his solo mission going forward, Kagome worriedly eyed the raging river before them. She didn’t like him doing this. It was too wide, and the water was rushing too fast to ensure his safety. Not to mention, there was a modest waterfall downstream much closer than she was comfortable with. She knew he was hanyou, and therefor much stronger than your average man. But he also had a tendency to jump into trouble that was slightly out of his league. But she didn’t mention it. He needed her support right now. It wasn’t like they had any other options. 

“Can’t forget about this.” When she felt Sesshoumaru tense around her, she tore her worrying eyes away from the rapids to see what was going on. The sight of Inuyasha removing his sword and holding it out expectantly to his brother quickly answered her question. Then, she tensed too. 

“But you need it,” she reminded him, somewhat relieved that Sesshoumaru made no move to accept his generous offer. “What if there’s danger over there?” 

“What if there’s danger right here?” he countered, not withdrawing his arm. “I still got my claws, but you two are sitting ducks.” He turned to address his brother directly, leaving Kagome out of the conversation. “It’s my job to protect her. This is how I can do it while I’m away. If any demons come, I need you to take them out with this.” 

Sesshoumaru seemed to be considering it, but he still had yet to reach for the sword. Seeing him waver, Inuyasha turned back to the miko in his arms. “It ain’t like I can swim with it. It’ll probably fall out of my obi, and then it’s at the bottom of that river. And I for one ain’t diving down there to look for it.” 

He made a damn good argument, but the couple still looked at him pensively. There was just one more little problem with his plan. 

“What about your demon side? If you’re away from it too long, you’ll break your seal.” Thinking about him losing himself again was almost too much for Kagome to handle. That was why the grin he flashed her bordered on annoying. 

“Guess that’s extra incentive to get back quickly, ain’t it?” Kagome frowned, but the hanyou was done arguing. His mind had long been made up. 

“It ain’t up for debate. Either you take the sword, or I ain’t leaving, simple as that.” 

And that was really that. He had the upper hand here, and he knew it. Seeing he had his hands full, Inuyasha placed Tetsusaiga gently in Kagome’s lap, and she finally took hold of the weapon. With that settled, he was all ready to go. 

“Once you are across, the journey will be simple,” Sesshoumaru said reassuringly, instead of drawing more attention to his brother’s symbolic gesture. “I do not see why you should not return tomorrow by mid-day, assuming you secure a boat quickly.” 

“Keh, I’m sure the houshi already has a woman with a boat, and shelter waiting for us when we get there.” None were willing to voice concerns that the others might not be in the village. 

“Alright, enough stallin’. It’s time for me to go.” He took them in one last time, and made meaningful eye contact with his half-brother. 

“Protect her.” That was an order. “And yourself.” That was too. The determined nod he received was all the affirmation he needed, so he turned to Kagome next. 

He leaned down to give her a chaste kiss on the cheek, but it wasn’t until he whispered something lowly in her ear that she finally deigned to blush. Sesshoumaru couldn’t hear what it was, but her reaction had him aching to know... and more jealous than he’d ever admit aloud. 

And then Inuyasha was off. An impressively long leap got him somewhere near the middle of the river, but the current was faster and stronger than he’d anticipated. Without a moment to get warmed up, he was instantly rushed downstream as he tried to kick his way over to the other side. 

“Inuyasha!” Kagome immediately called, her worst fears coming true as he was swept closer to the steep waterfall that awaited. He was aware of his plight, so he spent some effort paddling his way back upstream while at the same time trying to get himself over. The method had him kind of stuck in place; going against the current and not making any progress. 

She saw him struggling, and got scared. Sesshoumaru felt her whole body clench, and then instinctively wiggle to get free. With her bum knee, he didn’t know where she planned to go. He held her firm. 

But when Inuyasha suddenly disappeared beneath the surface, and did not instantly pop back up, she began to panic. 

“We have to go down there!” she pleaded, but there wasn’t much they could do. Her irrational mind simply told her to get closer to him. They’d figure the rest out later. But Sesshoumaru did not comply. When she started to struggle in his arms again, he squeezed her, and lowered his mouth to her ear. 

“He is strong. Trust him.” She instantly stilled at his simple command. He was right. 

She had faith in Inuyasha, he knew she did. He knew what he was doing. He was going to be fine. 

That was the mantra she repeated in her head over and over as she waited on pins and needles for him to reemerge. 

‘He is hanyou,’ she reminded herself. ‘He can hold his breath much longer than any man.’ 

Then, as she managed to calm her breathing, she saw a soggy silver head pop up a ways down the river, but very close to the other side. From there, the current became less forceful, and it was an easy swim to the shore. He’d made it. 

She exhaled deeply, relief washing over her as she witnessed her friend crawling up the rocks and collapsing on his hands and knees. It was hard to see from the distance, but it looked like he was retching up water. It was followed by a familiar dog-like shake, and he rid his body of any excess moisture he had collected. The result left his hair a wild mess, but all in all, he looked fine. 

He confirmed it by offering them an exaggerated wave, followed by a thumbs up as high as he could hold it. Sesshoumaru’s hands were full, so Kagome waved extra hard for the both of them, and threw in a winning smile to boot. 

Then, they watched as he assessed the land behind him, and took off as fast as he could go. It wasn’t long before he was a red dot in the distance, and then nothing. 

Out of sight, but not out of mind, Kagome turned her focus to the stoic man holding her with unconcealed concern. He knew she was worried, but it would do no good to dwell on it. He vowed to try and distract her as well as he could until the whelp returned for them tomorrow. 

“Come. We must elevate your knee. It is beginning to swell again.” 

* * *

Sesshoumaru set Kagome up as comfortably as he could manage at a small open clearing off the river bank. The soft patch of grass was surrounded by trees, and just inside the edge of the forest at the mountain’s base. He cleared everything out of the way that would make it unpleasant for sitting, or sleeping on later, and designated a spot in the middle where their fire would burn throughout the evening. 

He gathered enough material to keep the flame roaring indefinitely, and even happened upon a bush that hosted delicious - but more importantly, non-toxic - berries for them to snack on. Kagome was happily doing just that, and with her leg lowered back down from its elevated position, she put her busy hands to work whittling Sesshoumaru a stick. 

She’d wanted to start the fire; it was the least she could do after he collected all that wood for them. But he refused, telling her to rest her busted leg while he easily got it going. He was slightly amused when she pouted, and grabbed the sword he’d stolen from Juzo. With it, she began carving one of the nearby fallen branches into some kind of a weapon. 

At first, he thought she might have intentions of raising it to him. But finally, he got her to admit she was crafting him a spear. Unless they wanted to eat berries for dinner, the only way they were going to enjoy a meal was if they managed to catch a fish. Swords would only slice through them, so she decided a spear was the way to go. And since she most likely was not going to be the one to catch it, she wanted to do her part. It also didn’t hurt that the task kept her idle hands busy, and her bored mind occupied. 

It started out as a simple enough task. But the longer she worked on it, the more invested she became. Every time she was almost done, she thought of one more thing that would make it just a little bit better. In the end, she had carved him a very handsome tool, shaved and smoothed with a grip and a handle, and not one, but _three_ sharp prongs protruding from end like a trident. 

Finally pleased, she announced its completion and held it up to him for inspection. 

“All finished! Here you go!” 

He immediately popped up and crossed over to her. He enjoyed the dazzling smile she flashed him, obviously very proud and expectant of kudos. 

He wore a small smirk as he snatched the stick from her, and she preened when he made a show of scouring it over with his discriminating eye. 

“Hn. A brilliantly forged weapon,” he finally deigned. She squirmed in excitement while he held it up to his eye, and closed the other to look down the length of it. “Beautiful toolmarks. Perfectly reinforced.”   
He continued to gush and shamelessly pander as he held it in his grip and took a couple practice stabs. “Tailor-made for my very hand. Impressive.” She knew he was hamming it up, but she still enjoyed his praise. She highly doubted Totosai had ever experienced such a reception at the conclusion of his commissions. 

“What do I owe as payment for a fine spear such as this?” 

She wore a huge grin as she considered his question, and he eagerly awaited to hear what the young woman would come up with. 

“Hmm. For you? I could let it go for... 5 million coins.” 

“A pittance,” he scoffed dismissively, and she wondered if that really was nothing to him, or if he was just exaggerating. He played it so straight, she honestly couldn’t say. 

“Tell me, is it my good looks for which you offer such a gracious discount, or my charm?” 

His eyes twinkled with amusement as her grin grew even wider. They fed off each other this way, until it just bordered on ridiculous. But they were stranded in the middle of nowhere, with no one else around for miles and nothing but time to kill. They were well within their rights to let go of sanity just a tad. 

“Neither. It is for fear that the Lord of the West may be displeased with me and burn my modest arsenal to the ground.” 

“Ah, understandable.” He nodded and looked back down at the weapon in his hand. She couldn’t contain her giggling as he did, and he relished it. “However, I cannot in good conscious offer anything less than a fair sum to the poor, pathetic, destitute weaponry dealer of the village. Not with the unfortunate family she has to support.” 

“Oh really?” she laughed, very much enjoying this new game. “Tell me about my family.” 

He smirked as he lowered his eyes, and she knew she was in for it. 

“Well, there is her husband,” he began, running his hands along the smooth wood and testing the sharp ends with his fingertip. “Nice enough fellow, but not incredibly bright. Lost a leg attempting to step over a dragon, and an eye as well.” 

“He lost an eye to the dragon?” she asked suspiciously, and he shook his head. 

“No. The eye was taken to satisfy his gambling debts. It’s why he didn’t see the dragon.” 

“Lovely,” she complained. “Sound like a real winner I picked there.” 

“Indeed. Lucky for him, your compassion overrides any superficial judgments, though it may explain why you are so inclined to give handsome young lords a discount in your shop.” 

She was going to contest what he considered ‘young,’ but the way he was smiling at her kept her snarky retorts in check. 

“Anyone else?” she asked sweetly instead. He straightened, and attempted to regain his serious air. 

“Your three children, of course.” 

“Three?” she asked incredulously. “Guess the one-legged gambler has got a pretty solid game.” Sesshoumaru nodded in agreement. 

“He is virile.” He caught himself off guard with that one, and broke into a smile again. 

She decided that he was having entirely too much fun with this, and was starting to regret encouraging him. 

“At least he’s got that going for him,” she muttered. “Are my poor kids ugly too?” 

“Fortunately, they inherited their looks from their mother,” he offered sweetly, but she knew when she was being lured in. “But unfortunately, they take after their father in wits. Too dull to employ, they will likely rely upon your kindness to your death.” 

He didn’t seem very sympathetic to her plight, so she scrunched her face in displeasure. 

“Man, that’s a pretty bleak picture you paint.” 

“Indeed,” he agreed with a shrug, and pretended to hand her back the spear. “It is why I cannot accept your generous discount.” 

She turned her nose up at his supposed rejection, and turned from him with her arms crossed. 

“Well, I’m afraid your money’s no good here.” 

She could feel it when he knelt beside her in one swift, fluid motion, and was not prepared for the sudden flip her stomach took at his proximity. It only got worse when his voice lowered an octave. 

“There must be something I can give you.” 

Her eyes widened a fraction, but she quickly schooled them back into place. She knew he was having fun with her. He knew the reaction she would have. Well, she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. She could get him just as off-kilter as he could get her. 

She turned to him, and confirmed he was incredibly close. She attempted to look coy, and he was immediately suspicious. 

“There is something I desperately need, that you would perhaps be willing to give me.” 

He lifted an eyebrow at the way she was obviously trying to bait him. But he was no fool. If she wanted to play, he was more than willing to indulge her. 

“Protection?” he asked innocently, but she shook her head. 

“No. I’m a weaponry dealer, remember?” She did her best to try and make him uncomfortable with her eyes, and when she failed, she put her palm against his chest and stroked up and down. “But there is something I want, if you would be so kind. Something that you might be willing to put inside me...” 

He looked down to where she touched him. It wasn’t that he didn’t completely enjoy the attention, or the fantasy she’d concocted. He just knew this woman well, and unfortunately, she was not going to make it as easy as all that. 

He thought for a moment, and tried not to let her drive him too wild. 

“Fish?” he ventured, wondering if he’d gotten it. Her answering smile told him he had. 

“You’re good at this game. Catch me a big one and we’ll call it even.” 

He smiled to himself, not too disappointed, because he was not at all taken by the mislead. 

“It will be done,” he assured her confidently, and took his new spear out for a test drive. 

* * *

It couldn’t have been twenty minutes when he returned. She had no way of knowing, since her watch broke falling in that stupid hole. But just when she was starting to get bored, and wondering what to do with herself until her entertainment got back, there he was. 

He’d stripped himself of his borrowed shirt before getting into the river. And even though his pants were basically waterproof, he’d still synched them up to his knees for wading in the shallow end. Boots had been removed, of course, leaving him looking like some sort of castaway on some deserted beach. Except instead of a sexy tropical island, they were stuck camping in the cold. Still, she was not complaining about the view as the well-cut shirtless man approached her with the biggest fish she’d ever seen. 

“Look at that!” She marveled at his catch, which he held up proudly by the gills. Trident in other hand, this fish was easily a third his body length. 

She wanted to get up and appraise it, but with her injury, she was kind of stuck sitting on her butt. So, she patiently waited for him to approach her, and tried to relay her approval from where she sat. 

“Yes, it was a grueling hunt, wrought with much peril,” he bemoaned dramatically. “But in the end, her quick was no match for my cunning.” Apparently, he was still in the mood for over the top, braggadocios theatrics. It was a nice change from his low key, subtle yet still incredibly annoying narcissism, so she decided to go with it. 

“Come then,” she beckoned warmly with a welcoming gesture. “Regale me with the story of your epic hunt while I scale and gut her for you.” 

He smiled down at her in admiration. She still wanted to do her part. He knew it killed her to be a burden on others. She was, at the moment, but he found he enjoyed this burden. He might even prefer it. He liked waiting on her; taking care of her. He didn’t know if the independent woman would ever give him another chance to. 

“Such tales are better left on the battlefield. I should not like to give you nightmares with the gory details of my vicious attack.” 

With that, he took the large fish to the other side of the fire – far out of her reach – and proceeded to clean it himself with his stolen sword. She seemed disappointed, and could only watch on helplessly as he took yet another task for himself. But, aware of her turmoil, he sought to distract her again with more foolish roleplay. 

“I am afraid, however, that the effort expended capturing a fish of this size is far too much payment, even for a quality spear such as this.” 

As he tore open the gut and pulled out the innards, he spared her a glance just long enough to see her excited approval. He so rarely played around, and he knew she liked to see this side of him. With no other witnesses, it was the perfect time to indulge her. 

“Oh, great Lord of the West!” she beseeched, and it took him a little off guard how the way she used his title like that affected him. “I am but a poor, simple spearsmith. What could I possibly give you that you do not already have?” Then she gasped, and pretended to be horrified. “Not my first born!” 

“Your dimwitted children are of no use to me,” he mocked coldly, earning an indignant scoff for his assessment. “However, you do possess something I very much want. Something every woman has to give, should she be so inclined.” 

Recognizing the tease from earlier, she was eager to see what he had in mind. Though she couldn’t deny the insinuation – and the suggestive way he inflected – had her mind reeling with possibilities she was certain he didn’t mean. Or did he? 

“Oh? Something of value?” she asked coyly, but the intent way he was looking at her caused her mind to blank. 

“Yes. The most precious gift you could ever bestow.” 

He had a predator’s eyes, even now. She could practically seem them glowing red in the dark; stalking his prey. Waiting patiently beyond his trap. He was still in there... 

“What’s that?” she breathed more than spoke. But when he answered, the was not a hint of amusement or mockery in his tone. 

“Your loyalty.” 

She faltered. It was not the answer she was expecting. And why did he sound so serious? 

“What?” 

“I would have you pledge your loyalty forever to the Western Lands. To the lord that rules them, and the house he represents.” 

She still couldn’t tell if he was joking. She decided it didn’t matter if he was. It wasn’t like he would hold her to it. Then again, it wasn’t like she didn’t mean it. 

“I do,” she finally offered with a smile, hoping that would satisfy him. 

“You do what?” She was relieved when that hint of amusement returned to his tone, and his eyes. He was still frighteningly intense, though. 

But with a flippant smile, she raised her right hand as if swearing in court, and offered him a little propriety. 

“I, Kagome Higurashi, the Shikon Miko, hereby pledge my undying loyalty to the Western Lands, it’s lord, and the house that rules them, denouncing all others for all eternity. Happy?” 

Thoroughly amused now, he raised a suspicious eyebrow at her, and tested the bounds of her claim. 

“Hn. What of your responsibilities a shrine priestess? Surely the purity you swore to uphold cannot withstand all I require of you?” 

She knew he was trying to shake her again, but she was still willing to play. She gave him a little more. 

“I hereby abandon my oath of purity, so that I may continue serve the Western Lord in any capacity he deems fit without fear of hypocrisy or reprimand.” 

Forgetting himself, he pushed his grilling a little farther still. 

“You would shirk your duties to my brother and to your homeland, to come to the West and serve This One?” 

He tensed over his fish immediately. 

That was too far. As soon as he said it, he knew he fucked up. In an instant, the fun atmosphere was killed, and both recoiled into the depressing reality they lived in. 

Because he knew she wanted to come with him. At least, she thought she did. And he wanted her to come with him. Right now he did, anyway. But it was never going to happen. He cursed himself. She was only just getting over that troubling fact, but it was too soon. He could see on her face the wound he’d just scratched open, and he couldn’t think of what to say to make it better. 

He settled on saying nothing, and she seemed okay with that. He finished prepping the fish in silence, and that was how he cooked it, and how they ate. 

* * *

“Not really the hunting trip we planned, is it?” 

He was relieved when she finally broke the tense silence, and that how she did it was somewhat cordial. 

He was trying to think of something to say, but just then, he’d shifted to cross his legs, and the grunt of pain he’d released while doing so caught the astute young woman’s attention instantly. 

“Are you okay?” she asked with concern. When he didn’t make eye contact, she became even more worried. 

“Fine,” he insisted. But he actually grimaced. He was throwing up all sorts of red flags. She raked her eyes over him meticulously, studying him intently. 

“But you... oh my god, your leg! I completely forgot! How is it? Are you hurting?” 

She was instantly mortified that she hadn’t given one thought to his stab wound since it happened. What kind of pack mate was she? He had been attentive to her injury to the point of almost being overbearing, and she hadn’t even thought of him at all. She was disgusted with herself. 

“Nothing compared to yours. I will endure,” he assured her, but she wasn’t buying it. Now that it had been brought to her attention, she was going to have to make a fuss. 

“Yeah, but I didn’t carry both of us all day. Kami, you must in agony.” It would have been sucky enough to walk around with a knife wound in his thigh, but he was dragging around her dead weight with him every step of the way. And even when he’d been able to set her down, he was busy making sure they had everything they needed. 

“I am not as fragile as you seem to think.” His admonishment was offered with a tinge of amusement, but she could detect that he had taken a bit of offense. 

“Let me see,” she demanded firmly. The look he gave her suggested she check her authority. 

“Come on, I need to see if it’s infected. That knife did not look sanitary.” 

He knew he wouldn’t hear the end of it. When she was stuck on something, the woman became insufferable. Deciding to save himself a few hours of torment – and perhaps make up for his unfortunate comment before dinner – he resignedly got up and crossed to her side of the fire to sit beside her. 

When he began to work the ties of his pants, she flushed a little. The cut had been made on his inner thigh, but she really wasn’t sure how much she was about to see. She wondered if he was wearing undergarments right now, but realized quick she wouldn't be wondering for long. 

He didn’t look uncomfortable as he shimmied his hakama down past his hips to about mid-thigh. He was wearing a fundoshi, and she settled on being relieved for that. It was short lived, however, when high up on his inner right thigh was a large, angry slice through his skin. 

It was maybe two inches south of his underwear, which she supposed could be counted as a blessing. A little to the left would have been a much more devastating injury. But it was gaping, and swollen, and the redness told her it would get worse before it got better. 

“Sesshoumaru! Just a scratch, my ass! That’s really deep.” 

She had a feeling he had been downplaying it, but this was worse than she expected. 

“It is not-” 

“For a human, that’s deep,” she informed him. “And dangerous. And, it's getting infected. Didn’t you learn anything from your scuffle with the tiger clan? It's all red and puffy. Why didn’t you say anything?” 

Through with show and tell, he pulled his pants back up petulantly, and began redoing the ties. 

“What could have been done about it? You do not have your supplies.” 

“No, but we followed a clear stream all the way down here. We could have been washing it out. In fact, go do that right now.” 

He tried to keep his annoyance at bay. He knew she was only concerned for his safety, but he was not used to being ordered about. When it came to helping with chores and such it was certainly one thing, but in regards to his own person, it was another. He would not be told how to handle his own body. 

“I will do it later.” 

“No! Do it-” 

“I will do it later. Miko.” 

She heard his displeasure, and his finality. She knew she’d lost this round. But he was just being fussy. She would get him once he was in a good mood again. She relented. 

“Fine. I’ll go with you and make sure the water is nice and clean.” 

At least she had that going for them. She might not have ointments and pills, but they would always have sterile water. 

“Could you not simply purify the wound?” 

“What?” she asked, and turned just in time to see him finishing with his pants and reaching to put his shirt back on. He continued to answer, as he did though, he seemed to only be paying half attention. 

“As opposed to troubling yourself with the water. You can purify a demon’s flesh. What of a human’s?” 

She considered his question a moment, and wondered if he might be onto something. She only knew she couldn’t harm a mortal with her purity. But could she heal one? 

She was aware that powerful mikos like Kikyo had healing capabilities, but it took years of training to get to that point. All she had was un-honed, albeit natural born abilities. 

“My reiki considers a demon’s flesh as tainted, so it purifies it. Maybe the foreign bacteria in your cut works the same way. It's worth a try.” 

The hopeful way she was looking at him had him regretting his ill-conceived question. He did something he wasn’t sure he’d ever done before. He backpedaled. 

“I was not insinuating you actually purify me. It was simply speculation, for curiosity’s sake.” 

He tried to act dismissive, and nonchalant at the notion. But under the surface, he was nervous. He knew that look in her eye, and what it meant. 

“Well, I want to try it for more than curiosity’s sake. I want to see if I can heal you. You’re not scared, are you?” 

He scoffed, but hated how observant she was becoming in regards to him. 

“Ridiculous.” 

He wasn’t scared, of course. Just... operating with a healthy dose of caution. He still had a demon’s soul, and every instinct in his body told him to avoid her power at all costs. He was only just getting comfortable being so near when she released it. He could handle her purified water, but a straight shot of her purity to his body was more than unsettling. 

It would be a death sentence for him in his previous form. Even if he survived it now – which he was only 90% certain he would – it would not do well to become complacent. 

“Sesshoumaru, you aren’t a demon anymore. It isn’t going to hurt you.” 

“I know that,” he only 10% lied. “I simply... do not wish you to trouble yourself.” 

“It's no trouble at all,” she informed him tauntingly. “But if you’re scared...” 

He scowled then. But even in his attempt at intimidation, he knew she had him. 

“You are baiting me.” 

“I am. Is it working?” 

And she knew it too. That’s when she was at her most insufferable. 

He had no choice but to give in. 

With a sigh, he finally relented. 

“Where do you want me?” 

She was smiling again, and it was almost worth it. But not quite. 

“Lay on the ground,” she demanded too quickly, and too giddily. “And take off your pants.” 

He rose an eyebrow at that, and briefly wondered how she thought to placate him. Perhaps he should have held out longer... 

“Do you trust me?” she asked, when he hesitated. He smiled mockingly, and answered mockingly, but he found he was dead serious. 

“With very my life.” She smiled wider at the answer as he took down his pants again, and laid on his back so she could reach him where she sat. He exuded calm, but really, he was worried. 

But he also trusted her. And really, he hoped this would work. Not just for him. He knew she was capable of much more than she realized. It would please him if she were to tap into that raw power, and unleash just a piece of her potential. 

She scooted beside him, dragging her crippled self near enough to reach him, and he only just registered the intimate position they were in. She blushed, and met his eyes, right before lifting her hands, and placing both of them directly onto his wound. She felt like she was using a Ouija board. 

Her fingers were dangerously close to his groin, and the proximity caused the beginnings of things to stir within him. Luckily, his trepidation kept him from reacting too excitedly in her presence. 

He waited anxiously as she drew her power forth. Just like putting it into an arrow, she called it to manifest in her hands. The energy would build until it was ready, and then... bam! She would let it go. But this time, she would have to order it into his flesh, instead of an inanimate object. She just hoped to the kami that she didn’t hurt him. 

It was starting to build in the tips of her fingers, and she focused more of it down her arms. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, because the sight of her intimidating, youkai-frying power building to a crescendo was setting his nerves on edge. But even with eyes closed, even with dulled human senses, he could feel the heat of it swirling around him. Forming above him. 

She focused on his wound; tried to picture what she saw, and all the filthy things that must be inside, and imagined her light making him nice and clean again. Good as new. 

Finally, when she felt she’d reached her limit, she released it into him. His breath hitched when a burst of light encompassed the clearing. Flashes of pink and white were blinding, but only for a moment. And then there was heat. Pleasant, prickly heat deep in his wound. But only for a moment. 

And then, just as quickly, it was gone. It was over. Like a bolt of lightning, the power was raw, and substantial, and fleeting. A bit dumbstruck, they shook themselves off, and looked to see how she did. 

What they saw on his thigh rendered both of them speechless, for several long, awestruck beats. 

Minds were blank as they tried to register the enormity of what they were seeing, until finally she was able to give voice to her accomplishment. 

“I healed it.” 

She stared down, still in shock, at the skin on his thigh that looked to never have been punctured. 

She had expected to see some of the swelling reduced, maybe a scar starting to form if she was lucky. But Sesshoumaru looked like he never had dagger in his leg. 

“Miko-” 

“The whole thing.” 

He’d propped himself up on his elbows to get a better view. But though his initial reaction to her rousing success was indeed surprise, he got over it quickly to marvel at the implications. 

“Miko-” 

“That was amazing!” Kagome, however, remained somewhere near shock, venturing into pride. “I wasn’t even trying, and-” 

“Kagome!” 

And, she should be proud. But there were more important things to do now. Her name from his lips startled her from her stupor, and she lifted her eyes to his at last. 

“You realize what this means?” he asked hopefully, prompting her to climb aboard his train of thought. But she reached a different conclusion. 

“I’m a god.” 

“No,” he responded instantly, and confidently. 

“Well, some kind of magical-” 

“No,” he assured her again; eager to get her there. “Miko, your knee. Simply heal your affliction as you healed mine.” 

Realization dawned as she interpreted his meaning, and she looked down at her leg with mounting insecurity. 

“Oh. I don’t know... It's not a surface wound. I can’t even see it.” 

“So? Just do as you did with me.” 

But see, the thing about that was... 

“I don’t know what I did,” she admitted a little quieter, her voice somewhat ashamed. Sesshoumaru let out a light huff in response. 

“Some god.” 

Looking at his thigh again, she leaned forward to touch it. That tingling feeling returned to him as she caressed his new skin experimentally, and with awe. But this time, there wasn’t that underlying fear to help keep him in check. 

“I was focusing on purifying it, and then it was healed.” It all happened so fast, she didn’t know if she could replicate it. 

“Then do it again,” he demanded. She had to admit, this was huge. If she could get this down; if healing bodies was something she could do at will, it would make her somewhat invincible. Or at least, less destructible. Sesshoumaru seemed to catch on to this as well. He had this look in his eye, like most demons would get when a jewel shard was around. Almost...covetous. 

“Perhaps it is not unlike how my youki heals me. Simply picture what you wish to happen in your mind’s eye, and focus all of your energy into that location.” Was that how it worked? Could her reiki work like his youki? He seemed to think so. If it was, perhaps he could help her learn to master it. 

Obviously on the same page, Sesshoumaru sat up and quickly fastened his pants closed before scrambling behind her. She flushed a bit when he saddled up against her back, putting a bent knee on either side of her and pressing himself against her. 

Her leg was suck out in front of her, and like he was teaching her to shoot pool, he wrapped his arms around to cover her own, and guided them to rest atop her injury. 

“I want you to focus on your ligament,” he began, putting his lips by her ear as he touched her arms instructively. “Picture it as it is, torn within your knee.” She obliged him, now holding her arms up on her own, and trying to recall her MRI images from last time to help her envision the damaged area. 

“Now I want you to envision each fiber melding back together. Focus on that area within you. Command it to be so. Command your power to flow down to the point which causes you pain, and force it to fuse together again. Control it.” 

His voice was in her ear, husky and mesmerizing. Combined with the way he was stroking up and down her arms made it harder to focus, so she closed her eyes. 

Once again, she called her power to her fingertips, and let it build. It grew as she envisioned exactly what Sesshoumaru was telling her, and with her hands hovering above her knee, she began to feel warm prickles of light going to work inside her. At first, she couldn’t tell if she was just imagining it, but now she could feel it. She was healing. Reconstructing. 

“When you feel it mending, demand more,” he continued, as she concentrated on her task. “Instruct it to repair, and improve even further. It is _your_ body. It is _your_ knee. It is _your_ power. Make it obey you. Your will must be done; your word, heeded. Enforce the law within your form, and demand yourself. Obey yourself.” 

His smooth voice spoke with authority, and she tried to draw from him as she ordered her torn ligament to reform in her knee. 

He was rubbing her arms more forcefully, and she couldn’t tell if it was meant to show his support, or as an outlet for his own uncontainable excitement. His tone became even huskier when he pressed his lips close enough to touch her ear. But she forced herself to concentrate. 

“To have it as it was before will not do. It will be _better_ than before. Better than it had ever been. You are Kagome Higurashi, the Shikon Miko who killed Naraku, and your power must be acknowledged.” As his encouragement became more intense, so did the light. So did the feeling in her knee. She could feel herself building to something. 

“Not only that, but feared. Respected. It is formidable. _You_ are formidable. Feel your power. Impose your will.” 

And then, just like with him, all that power in her hands exploded in a flash of pink and white. He braced himself against her, squeezing her tight in his arms as he seemed to enjoy the thrill of her purity washing over them both. No longer tainted with fear, he could finally marvel at her greatness; revel in it. 

She’d felt the progress as she was rebuilding it, but Kagome still tested her knee out very cautiously. Bending slowly, and lifting with such care, as if afraid she was going to feel the acute agony of her failure. 

But as her foot slid back toward her, and she found she could move her leg without any trouble or pain, her trepidation shrunk down to nothing. Smiling wide, she gave it a little rougher treatment, until finally turning her head back to confirm it. 

“I did it.” 

Oh, he knew. He was right there. He saw with his own eyes the magnitude of her power; the immensity of her strength. He felt it. He tasted it. 

He relished it. 

It was so raw and untrained, but so beautifully magnificent. 

To watch her wield such power, to conjure it, and bend it to her will caused his heart to race with excitement and his blood to simmer in his veins. It had an effect on his libido as well. 

He wanted to test that power, and tame it, to feel it mingle with his own. He was sure she could feel his approval digging into her lower back, and he looked into her eyes with naked intent as he guided her jaw towards him. 

“Indeed. You are an impressive woman. Your power is indomitable,” he all but purred at her, his eyes falling to her lips as he continued to stroke her jaw. 

“Your generosity, humbling. Your kindness, undeserved.” 

Taking her chin firmly in his grip, he finally crashed his lips to hers, hoping for just one more taste of her amazing, alluring essence. She was in a trance, not able to respond, but permissive enough to let him have his fill. 

He broke the kiss to look into her eyes once more, and lowered his hand to rest atop her bare, freshly repaired knee. Her eyes began to glaze over. 

“Your strength-” he continued to flatter, but she wouldn’t hear the end of that sentence. She passed out in his arms right there. He easily supported her, and couldn’t help but smirk. ‘...is depleted.’ He finished the thought in his head, now that she wasn’t awake to hear him. It wasn’t a surprise. She had yet to tame her power, and what she just did took a lot of energy. After a nice long rest, he predicted she would be good as new. Better. It was not so unlike taming youki after all. 

‘But you have a dog’s loyalty, and he shall protect you until you are able to protect yourself.’ 

He looked down at her unconscious form with open admiration, and was forced to be honest with himself. ‘And even then.’ 

He gathered her in his arms and stood to carry her back to the fire. But no longer because she was injured. This time, she was simply tuckered out. 

* * *

She woke hours later feeling well-rested and void of pain. Despite being grateful, she couldn’t shake the feeling she had gotten away with something. Like she’d spent the whole night partying, only to wake up without a hangover. 

The fire beside her had obviously been well-tended, as it was still roaring impressively and doing nicely at keeping her warm. But either they’d barely made a dent in their supply, or Sesshoumaru had ventured out again to gather more wood to burn. 

Noting his absence, she peered around the clearing in search of him, and finally spotted him closer to the river bank. The sun was setting beautifully, and he was gazing off into it, and she assumed enjoying his increasingly rare moment of solitude. 

She only debated robbing him of it a moment before shifting to stand. She grinned madly when she popped up on both legs without any issue, and gave a few celebratory kicks to commemorate the occasion. 

As she got closer, she quickly noticed the large, rusty sword sitting proudly at his hip, and wondered how many times he’d dreamed of this moment. How often he’d imagined possessing the famous sword, and how it must feel now that he did. 

Pretty disappointing, she’d wager. He had been so single-minded back then, and had probably expected the whole world to change once he claimed its great power. To him, Tetsusaiga was the answer to all of his questions. It was the one thing holding him back, and owning it was going to fix all his problems and put to bed any doubts of his unrivaled supremacy in the land of the living, and the dead. 

But the catch-22 was, that in order to be able to even hold such a sword, he had to first realize that the power he sought was not only unattainable, but useless without having someone to protect with it. And once he’d learned that, the power felt empty and cold in comparison. Having the trust of those who depend on you made him feel a thousand times more powerful than holding some weapon, some borrowed assistance from a late youkai who perished before his time anyway. 

She'd wager he was feeling like the dog who’d caught the car. Except instead of catching it, he’d lost interest, stopped to lick his wounds, and got hit by it on the way back regardless. 

She slid her arms around his waist from behind, and pressed her cheek up against his back as she tried to offer him her silent comfort. Looking at the sword at his hip, she wondered if he was hoping for a demon to appear. Itching for an attack, just to have an excuse to use the weapon legitimately. 

“Aren’t you going to try it?” she asked. But then, maybe he was afraid of being deemed unworthy yet again. Even if he no longer wanted it, the literal burn of rejection had to be discouraging. 

“Afraid it won’t work?” she asked when he gave no reply. He turned his head slightly, and she wasn’t sure if he meant to scold her for her presumptions, or give credence to them. 

“Better to find out now, than after a demon comes. Come on, I know you’re dying to.” 

She wasn’t wrong. If the sword rejected him in the midst of battle, it would only add injury to insult. Or death. 

She released him from her warm embrace, and stepped back enough to give him some room. He wasted no time wrapping his long fingers around the pattern on its hilt, but he did hesitate once it was firmly in his grasp. 

He might have a little PTSD, she reasoned, but she couldn’t honestly claim to know what was going through his head right then. He looked down at it, and in one confident motion he removed it from its sheath. 

She hardly had time to release her baited breath as she marveled at the transformation. Each section of the blade seemed to reach its full potential the instant it became exposed to the elements. Like it oxidized with amazing power instead of rust. 

She was relieved at his success, and not just for the protection it afforded her. She knew what he was capable of, she just hoped Tetsusaiga was smart enough to know it too. 

Held high above his head, his father’s fang seemed to sparkle and gleam in triumph. She couldn’t ever remember it taking on that exact air when in Inuyasha’s grasp, and maybe she was projecting, but it seemed to shine in relief at being held in Sesshoumaru’s capable hand. 

His focus was on the blade as he held it out in front of him. And as she took in his profile, she could all but hear his thoughts. 

‘Accept me. Obey me. See my will done.’ 

He issued his silent command, and awaited further recognition. Transforming was one thing, but acknowledgement was another. 

But Tetsusaiga did not keep him waiting, any more than he already had. He could have sworn that the sword had been anticipating this encounter. 

‘Eldest Son of no Taisho, you have returned.’ 

The deep, booming voice reverberated in his skull. He tried to respond casually, but he was willing to bet the sword could hear his pulse increasing. 

‘Hn. So you do speak.’ 

‘Only to those worthy of hearing.’ 

He’d managed to force the sword’s transformation before. His stong will to wield it had afforded him those ends. But it had never spoken to him, refusing to accept him as a true, worthy owner until he deemed it so. 

‘You have Father’s voice,’ Sesshoumaru recognized. It had been jarring at first, as he hadn’t expected it. The sound of it so many years later still caused him to snap to attention. It also inspired a few unpleasant memories, and reactivated dormant emotions he’d yet to fully remedy. 

‘I am an extension of him. As are you, now it seems.’ 

He scowled at the comparison. He was well aware of the ever-growing list of parallels that could be drawn from him to his father. Connecting them, in a way which – had he been made aware sooner - may have filled the gaping chasm between them, instead of stretching it. In a way for which he was both endlessly grateful, and deeply resentful. 

‘I sense the change in you,’ the sword deigned further. ‘You have finally discovered the path. You now hold the key.” 

He decided to ignore the connotations, and skipped straight to the important part. 

‘You submit then?’ 

The booming laugh that ensued took him back to a time so long ago, and made him feel small in a way he could barely recall ever being. Had it been that long since his father had laughed like that? Or had he been too consumed with hatred to let the sound affect him? 

‘I will lend you my strength,’ Tetsusaiga clarified, still brimming with amusement. But Sesshoumaru was in no mood for semantics, or games. 

‘You will carry out my will.’ It was a question disguised as an order. 

‘If your will is to protect her, then I shall.’ 

“And if it isn’t?’ he asked, trying to be defiant. Trying to be petulant. But it was no use. The sword now knew his heart, and any resistance he offered it would only serve to convince himself otherwise. Perhaps that was his goal. 

‘A moot point. The last time you held me in your grasp, supreme conquest was your only desire. It consumed you, and tainted your will, allowing for nothing else. Now, you desire...’ 

“Sesshoumaru?” Kagome’s timid, yet concerned voice tore him from his inner conversation, and he turned to acknowledge the woman who was approaching on his left. But the sword quickly commanded him back. 

‘Give me to her.’ 

‘What?’ He snapped to look at Tetsusaiga again, and it seemed to pulse with power as waves of intent rolled up the steel blade. 

‘I wish to know her will. I would hear her desires.’ 

He wanted to refuse. He did not like the idea of his father’s sword invading her heart and her head. What might he leave behind? What might he take with him? What good was the interference to any of them? 

But the blade, as it had so many times before, possessed him. He was fool to ever think it was the other way around. But instead of possessing his thoughts, and tapping into his insecurity and greed, it would simply have its will done. 

“It's amazing...” she marveled at the sword from her new position by his side. She was close enough to touch it, and looked like she might. He wondered if it could enforce its will by mere exposure... 

Extending the hilt to her, he placed his other hand on her back in invitation. 

“Grab hold.” His command pulled her from her appreciative stupor. 

She looked up at him in question, trying to discern his intent. He had a strange look on his face, something like worry, but also encouragement. But she shook her head. 

“It doesn’t transform for me.” Didn’t he remember his father’s tomb? She’d been able to pull it out, sure. But that did not mean she could ever wield it. She’d even tried a few times, when Inuyasha was sleeping. She’d never seen something so amazing, and was curious how it would feel to hold something so powerful in her hand. Would it feel like the Shikon? Just another hollow, burdensome duty? Or something else entirely? 

“Hold between my hands.” 

Before she could protest, he used the hand at her back to usher her between his arms, and caged her in. With her back up against his chest, he widened his grip on the hilt to allow her enough space to take hold. 

Seduced by the raw, inviting power of the sword, she found herself gazing at it only a moment before reaching forward with both hands. 

She was hesitant, and unsure, but the instant she grabbed it, she felt a warmth wash over her that she wasn’t expecting. It was invasive, but not unpleasant, as it seemed to flow in through her hands and back to her heart, and then it was everywhere, being pumped through her system like a lifeforce. It was the opposite feeling of releasing her purity. Did that mean she was being corrupted? It didn’t feel like she was. 

She marveled at the power thrumming through her body. The confidence it gave her. The clarity of mind. Was this how Inuyasha felt when he held his sword? No wonder he loved to use it as often as possible. She could see how it would make every battle easier. If she felt like this when she held her bow, she'd be arrow-happy too. 

It was so strange that Sesshoumaru wanted it so badly. It felt like cheating. Like taking the easy way out. No wonder he stopped lusting after it. There was no satisfaction in it for someone like him. 

She, however, would take all the help she could get. 

She was surprised when he let go, and left her holding it on her own. Surprised the power stayed, and the sword remained transformed for her alone. More surprised to find the huge weapon had not fallen from her hands the second he released it. She thought he was holding it up with his strength, but it was light as a feather. No heavier than it was in its sheath. 

He backed away a few steps, but the chill of his absence was soothed by the warmth of the weapon in her hand, and in her body as well. She was about to turn and question him, but a voice in her head stopped her. 

‘Shikon Miko.’ 

The deep, masculine voice reminded her of someone. But he was older. Happier, maybe. More relaxed. It was hard to pinpoint it. 

‘Tet-susaiga?’ she ventured, pulling the sword in closer to inspect it, as if she was looking for some little ghost, or perhaps a pair of lips to blame as the source. 

‘Indeed. It is an honor.’ 

‘Uh, same here.’ 

But the sound was clearly coming from inside her mind. She immediately dismissed the notion that she was crazy, and focused on the voice. There was genuine respect there, but a thinly veiled amusement as well. She wasn’t sure if she should be irritated at that, but her impulse was to let this play out. 

‘You inspire the protection of my wielder's quite expertly. Twice now, you have been the key to unlocking my power.’ 

She knew it was his desire to protect her that caused the sword to accept Inuyasha. But she was not so convinced about Sesshoumaru. Rin was the one who taught him compassion for humans long ago. She wondered, if he’d grabbed the sword for her, if it would have accepted him sooner. 

But it didn’t matter now. In fact, she was starting to wonder why he spoke to her at all. 

‘What did you want with me?’ 

It was strange, but she could feel the sword smiling. It would have struck her as sinister, but the heavy, oppressive power seemed to lighten around her just then. 

‘I was curious to learn what is that you hold precious. What you would see protected.’ 

Now, she was irritated. If he wanted to know that, he could have just asked her. It shouldn’t be a huge secret, anyway. Anyone who knew her knew that she valued her friends and their happiness above everything. 

So then why did she feel like her privacy had been invaded? 

‘I now know your heart, miko. When you both held my hilt, the answer was clear. You and the Western Lord are in the midst of forming a bond that could not be broken by time or death. Your souls are tied together, along with your fates. You belong to each other.’ 

The suggestive statement caused her eyes to widen, and she froze. How could he possibly know that? Who was he to insist such a thing? 

‘But the fates cannot complete the bond for you. You both must accept each other. You both must have the will to remain.’ 

Foreboding burrowed deep in her gut then. Instinct was preparing her for realization, and she was already feeling the sickening effects of it. 

‘If you do not, you will be forced to live your lives as half instead of one. Incomplete.’ 

And she knew it. She felt where this was going before he even said it. But she wished he hadn’t. 

She became dizzy then. Overwhelmed with feelings she had been successfully repressing ever since that night at the mansion. 

Depressing, soul-crushing feelings with which she was all too familiar. Sesshoumaru had already made himself clear, and despite her displeasure, she could actually understand. Duty prevented him from pursuing his own happiness, and he couldn’t turn his back on it. She’d convinced herself that she was okay with it, or, that at least, she would be. And she had been well on her way to accepting it. 

But this was a harsh reminder of what they would never have. Because she knew him, and this news wasn’t going to change his mind on the subject. It was just going to make it more painful for them. 

Hell, he might have already known. 

Suddenly, she was angry. Why was she always forced to ignore her desires for the greater good? Was what she wanted so terrible? So outrageous? 

It was bad enough when it was just something she thought she wanted. But if Tetsusaiga was right, and he was someone she needed to finally be whole, it was just excruciating. 

She wished he hadn’t told her. She wished she hadn’t known. Because it didn’t change anything. And she hated it. 

Resentment burned hot, and impotent tears started to stream down her face at the complete injustice of it all. Before he could question her, she shoved the sword back into Sesshoumaru’s hands, and ran back toward the fire. 

Frowning, he tore his focus from her retreating form and returned it to the bane of his existence. 

‘What did she tell you?’ he demanded, eager to simply sheath the thing and go after her. 

‘The same thing you did. That her heart is yours, as well as her happiness. If you do not accept each other completely, you are each in for a harrowing, hollow existence.’ 

His body yearned to growl, but no longer had the ability. He should have known he would pull something like that. 

He remembered his father talking about tied hearts and tethered fates closer to the end. He did not take it seriously, simply attributed the nonsense to the human woman who seemed to take hold of his senses. He did not believe in such things. But even if it was true, it did not matter. It didn’t change how things were. And he could take the pain of it all just fine. What he hated, was how she would be forced to as well. It wasn’t fair. 

‘You know nothing, but you will know your place.’ 

He received another laugh, but unlike the last, this one was low and humorless. This laugh was much easier to recall. 

‘How like him you are. Your father also resisted when I told him he belonged to that human. Eventually, the pull became too strong for him to ignore. Pity, though. All that wasted time.’ 

‘Silence.’ 

He didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t want to know any more about his father’s relationship with that woman, or Tetsusaiga’s role in it. But the sword cared not for his preferences. 

‘And then he died. If only he had listened sooner-’ 

'SILENCE!’ 

Through with his interference, he sheathed the great sword harshly, and turned to join the miko by the fire. But when he got there, he found himself alone. 

Disdainfully, he removed Tetsusaiga from his obi, and tossed it to the ground with little consideration. 

He looked about, in only a mild panic. He knew she was upset, but also that she was too smart to venture very far. 

He went deeper into the forest, but didn’t have to go long before he found her curled up behind a tree in a vain attempt to hide from him. She reclined against the base, and upon noticing him, immediately moved to wipe the evidence from her cheeks and eyes. 

His features softened sympathetically at the sight of her, and his feet took him forward until he knelt at her side. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, pretty sure he knew the answer. “Are you alright?” 

He didn’t want to drag anything out of her, especially if she wasn’t ready to deal with it. He hoped she would talk to him, though. Let him privy to her thoughts. Even if there was nothing he could do, he could at least try and ease her pain. 

But she disappointed him with her answer. 

“Fine. My knee was just hurting. I must not have totally healed it.” 

He did not express his displeasure in the obvious lie. But if she didn’t want to talk, perhaps he could distract her from her troubles. 

“I am going down to the river to bathe. Would you like to join me?” 

He was hopeful in his request. A moonlit, clothing-optional swimming session had been on his mind as she rested from healing them. But that was before his father’s sword killed the mood with his infuriating proclamations. Now, instead of emboldened to move forward, she was likely less certain about their relationship than ever. 

His fears were confirmed when she refused, claiming the water was surely cold. It was, he supposed, but that wouldn’t stop him. 

Near where he caught the fish, the edge of the river was not so aggressive. In addition, there were several large boulders in the way which promised to stop anything that tried to wash downstream. He could walk out to his neck without worrying about being swept away by the current. 

He made his way down alone, carrying his brother’s haori to the bank with him to use as a towel when he got out. His clothing would join it in waiting for him as he made his way into the flowing river. 

* * *

The water was freezing, but it was clean. Even a burst of the miko’s purity would do little to improve the crystal-clear substance that washed through the mountain range. He hoped it was enough. Enough to purify him, and rinse him of the clutter and grime, and troubling excess he felt he was walking around with. 

No, it wouldn’t wash him of his sins. There was likely no body up to such a task. But the bite of the cold, the solitude of the lonely river was just enough to distract him from all of this clamoring new. 

His brother’s sword never ceased to bring him trouble. It was something he vowed would never again occur. And it was bad enough to have his father’s voice inside his head, rearranging the furniture and making a mess of it, but he was in her head too. Spooking her and sowing doubt, and disrupting all of the slow, steady progress they had been making. It was too much too fast, and it was putting expectations and demands on them both, with a sense of urgency that was only adding to her stress. 

She already had so much duty, too much burden. The last thing he wanted was to cause her any more. He wanted to be the one to ease her tension, not add to it. She deserved that much. If only she would let him soothe her. He may not have all the answers she wanted, but he could be a temporary respite from her pain and suffering, if only for a little while. If only she would let him- 

The water was only knee high when he felt her bare arms slide around his waist. He nearly jumped at the unexpected contact, from the unanticipated company. But it was not unwelcome. 

She’d decided to join him after all, it seemed. 

She released him when he turned in her grasp, and retreated just enough for him to take her in. The sight that greeted him when he did so had him frozen in place. 

Of course she was naked. He didn’t expect her not to be. But he didn’t expect her at all, and he was in no way prepared for this woman’s boldness, her unrepentant nudity close enough to touch; all he had to do was reach out in front of him. The acceptance, and expectance in her features seemed to indicate he should do so. 

But he couldn’t. Not yet. All he could do was stand in shock, and shamelessly rake his gaze over every piece of her body. 

At first, his eyes were drawn to a thick mass of black curls. Several inches above the water, the wild triangle of only previously groomed pubic hair shielded pink lips, and engorged flesh from his view. 

Or so he’d assumed. He’d never actually seen her this close before. And what he had felt that night in the cave could only aid him in imagining what her sopping core might look like. 

She had much more hair now, which made sense. Whatever grooming habits she normally adhered to had been disrupted to aid him in his cause. He recalled how she felt; how satiny soft, slick wet skin coated his fingertips, and left damp trails along his thigh as she tried to resist grinding into him. 

But he had not been paying due attention at the time. He was too fool then to appreciate her, and with each passing day, he had to strain to keep the fuzzy memory fresh. He was sorely in need of a reminder. 

Dragging his dumbfounded, appreciative stare from the apex of her thighs, he took in the sight of a child-bearing form. The womanly curve of her hips dipped in drastically at the waist, clearly indicating where her pup- _baby_ would be resting before he made his entrance. Above that was where twin, heaving globes comfortably sat, and promised nourishment. Constantly growing, and just waiting to produce the milk her child would need. 

He remembered when he’d first glimpsed her. She’d had fairly large assets for someone so young. Not that he was looking, or even viewed humans as anything biological. But just in passing, his keen eye could quickly discern her dimensions. 

Ever since that day, she had been hurdling through her metamorphosis from girl into woman; slimming down in all the right areas and filling out in others. Her breasts, billowing and large and – he remembered – soft, were not the least of her ongoing continuous transformation to adulthood. As frazzled and near death as he was, he still recalled the shock he felt at having those pillowy, welcoming masses pressed firmly against his chest. Soothing, and comforting him in a purely basic fashion. She had obviously hit another large growth spurt since he had seen her last, and he wondered how such a thing could have escaped his notice. Perhaps, he unconsciously forced it so. 

They looked too large for his hands, and he found himself desperately wanting to test his theory. He briefly wondered, how in the freezing cold depths of this unforgiving river her pink- tipped nipples managed to look so soft and warm... Probably the same way his cock didn’t seem to mind the brutal cold, and stood proudly at attention between them. And, well above water level, it was no secret to either of them. He wondered what she thought of it. Of him. Was she pleased? Was she impressed? 

At least, she didn’t seem offended. Not in the slightest. 

Before his gaze continued its path upward, it stopped to admire the glittering diamond necklace he had given her. Rows after rows of life-saving gems glimmered and sparkled as they cascaded down her chest. They were meant to direct attention downward, but he was already coming from there. It was all she was wearing now, and he wondered if it had any significance. If she did it to please him, or if she just did not think to remove it. It didn’t matter, he was pleased either way. And would have been even without it. 

When finally, he arrived at her face, flushed features met his. Lips parted tantalizingly as he watched her draw and release soft breaths for him. He was growing familiar with those plush, delicious lips with progressive regularity, and he couldn’t help but picture them sampling another part of his body. He recalled how they tasted, beneath the flavor of whatever had been tinging them on that particular occasion. Her natural taste laying beneath was always there, waiting for him. 

Finally, he met her eyes. Patient and permissive, she graciously waited in silence as he admired every part of her he could find, and burned it into his memory. They looked back into his, and she must have seen the yearning, the desperation, the unspoken question in his own; for without another word, she stepped forward, pressing herself to him, and claimed his lips at last in an act of what he could only describe as benevolent mercy. 

Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling his face down to hers. All the while, his encircled her waist, and crushed her unforgivingly into his toned, solid stomach. He led them back towards the rocks, never releasing her lips as they moved their tongues sloppily, feverishly against each other. She took his bottom lip between her teeth, and tugged back only slightly. He groaned lowly at the rough, aggressive treatment he hadn’t expected from her, but the sound deepened and extended when she squeezed him tighter, and his now submerged cock became trapped between them in the most pleasing of ways. 

At his reaction, she ground her belly into him, enjoying the feel of his rock-hard body sliding against her soft, firm skin. 

He gasped, relieved and excited that she did not shy away from his physical reaction to her touch, and his obvious enjoyment of it. In response, he turned them so that her back was pressed up against the smooth rocks that kept them from being swept downstream, and grabbed her firmly at the hips. 

The water didn’t quite reach his chest, so when she lifted her legs to wrap around his waist, her firm tits were in plain view. He barely had time to register the unexpected position change before her fingers weaved through his short, dark locks and pulled him to her, encouraging him to feast on her generous offering. He of course acquiesced. His mouth found her glistening mounds, and finally her buds tightened under his enthusiastic attention. 

He sucked on each one; opened his mouth wide and ran his tongue excitedly over each tight peak again and again and again. Holding her up with one hand, he used his other to lavish attention on whichever unfortunate breast was not the current recipient of his oral appreciation. 

With his eyes closed, he was able to focus all of his sensations on touch. Squeezing her, sucking her, biting her, licking her. Kissing her, all the way from the hard, tightened peaks of her chest up to her lips which released shaky, incredulous breaths and needy, appreciative moans. And everywhere in between. He was worshipping her, as he’d so often dreamed of doing, and as eager as he was, he was not going to miss his chance. He was going to savor her. 

She moaned, and arched as he kissed his way down her neck, and when she shifted to trap his throbbing member against her aching core, he panted her name. He could feel the warm, wet heat so plainly against his shaft. Even through the moisture of the river and the coldness; the heat of her dripping center made itself known. She was squirming, grinding against him. Threatening to take him in with one well timed slip of her hips. And more than anything, he wanted to let her. But he needed to be sure. 

His grasp on her thighs tightened, and at the sensation, she lifted her head to look into his eyes. 

She saw the question there, the plea, but also the concern. 

‘Are you certain?’ they seemed to ask. ‘I need you to be sure.’ And he desperately hoped she would say yes. But there was something else in his eyes. Something that also told her it was okay if she wasn’t. She could turn them around, and he wouldn’t resent her. He’d have a painful affliction he’d need to see to personally and immediately, but he would understand. No hard feelings. 

He gave her raw, unobscured access to his inner thoughts and desires. In that moment, he had displayed more emotion than she, or anyone had ever seen of him. He was bare for her perusal. Completely vulnerable. 

And she answered him, in equally raw fashion. Continuing to look right in his eyes, she braced herself on his shoulder. Her other hand slid between them, and in one seamless motion, she’d aimed the head of his cock at her entrance. With angled hips, she used him to breach her virgin opening. She sunk down on him, and just like that, he was inside of her. 

All of the air had been stolen from his lungs, and he bent his head forward to help handle the sensation. His forehead found support on her shoulder while she arched herself against him; threw her head back to moan, and relish the sensation of being completely full of him. 

It was strange, he thought, how easy the transition had been. She offered no resistance, not to say that she wasn’t tight. But the warm, welcoming feeling around his cock was completely fluid, and he was happy to see that she appeared not to have any discomfort in the act either. It must have been the water. 

After a moment to adjust, he lifted his face to hers. He was still panting, drawing labored breaths while he watched with unbridled joy as she reacted rapturously to the pleasure he caused her. Her eyes were still closed, and her head still thrown back, and a smile graced his lips as he committed the moment to memory. 

When he gasped her name again, she slowly lifted her head. Her fingers were in his hair before she’d managed to open her eyes, and then she brought her smile closer until it pressed against his own. 

She kissed him sweetly, gratefully, and he returned it tenfold. He honestly couldn’t remember ever being so happy. She held him around his jaw with both hands, and when she pulled back, she placed those kiss-bruised lips right next to his ear. She whispered his name, before lowering herself enough to kiss, and nibble her way down the side of his throat and back up. When she switched sides, and put her lips to his other ear, she gave him a light lick before issuing her demand. 

“Move.” 

It only took him a moment to consider her request. Pressing her up against the rocks, he pulled his hips back. Slowly, he slid out of her, not quite all the way. Then, gently, he rolled forward, earning a long groan for his efforts. 

He repeated this several times, picking up speed with each greedy thrust. Until finally, at her encouragement, he was working at a fevered pace. Her moans were coming out wild and wanton, and the faster and harder he went, the tighter she had to hold onto him. 

As she screamed in ecstasy, he helped himself to all of her. Her breasts and her neck were fair game as he raked his long fingers deep into her hair. Water sloshed violently around them at his increased movements, and she braced herself. He felt her body stiffen as her walls began to clamp down, and with a perfectly timed deep thrust, she came undone around him. 

His name, broken and attempted time and again on repeat was his hard-won reward, and it wasn’t until she began to come down that he released the last thread of his control and emptied himself inside her. 

She was shaking as she held him close, and he was still pumping into her; unwilling to rest until the last of the aftershocks were done quaking through his system. Finally, he slowed to a stop, and joined her in catching breath, harsh and heavy next to her ear. 

She was hugging around his shoulders, keeping herself in place as if she feared releasing him would release them from the moment forever. He was trembling as he pulled back, and tried to catch her eyes before dipping close and taking one more affirming kiss. 

Wordlessly, he pulled out of her, and carried her bridal style out of the river. It was dark and cold, and he had to get her warm again before she got sick. 

He picked up his brother’s haori, and used the super absorbent material to quickly dry her off. It dried itself in an instant, and he proceeded wrap her in it snugly. He picked up his hakama and dressed himself in them, and threw his shirt over one shoulder before lifting her again and leading her back to the fire. 

Gently, he placed her down right beside the flames. His fire was impressive, and doing a fine job of keeping the cool night air from chilling his bared upper half. With her on her back, he stretched out beside her, propped on one elbow as he doted on her form. 

The haori she wore acted more as a robe, with her arms through the sleeves, she let the opening part down the middle, and expose her naked body to his view once again. Though concerned for her warmth, he appreciated her gift to him, and looked on appreciatively as he admired her beauty in the firelight. 

He was basking in her presence, letting his eyes freely roam a bit before he could no longer go on without touching her. He lifted his hand to gently rub her thigh, and traveled up her satisfied body to explore her generous breasts yet again. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked, somehow relaying genuine concern and maintaining eye contact while rubbing his open palm over her tightened nipples. 

She smiled, looking at him half-lidded, understandably a bit worn out from their actions. 

“Wonderful. You are amazing, Sesshoumaru.” 

He smiled in obvious relief. He didn’t want to hurt her, and he was glad she enjoyed herself. He became even more captivated when she suddenly took on a nervous air. 

Blushing, she lowered her gaze, and he wondered what she could possibly be shy about anymore. 

“Was I... okay?” 

She couldn’t tell? He thought he’d made his enjoyment perfectly clear. But he knew she had unfounded insecurities. Very unfounded, particularly in this department. He was going to make it his mission to help her overcome them. 

He inched closer, abandoning her breasts to gently grab her chin, and made her look at him so she would know without question. 

“You have given me more pleasure than I had ever thought possible. I never want to be with anyone else.” 

He needed her to know that, and her answering smile satisfied him. But then she was looking down at him with something akin to pity. 

“You don’t have to. But you can’t stay with me, you’ve already decided.” 

He released her, taking his hand back, and now he averted his gaze. 

He didn’t want to talk about this now. He wanted to bask in the afterglow with her a bit more before being forced to face those dark realities. He wanted to forget, just a while longer. 

“I know.” He tried to sound strong, but his harsh voice relayed his inner torment. 

“But you can have me until then.” He returned his eyes to her, this time filled with hope. But she became thoughtful as she seemed to be mulling something. “Do you think you can enjoy yourself, I wonder? Knowing each time you have me is only one rut closer to our last?” 

He looked away again, he couldn’t help it. She was only speaking the truth. But being forced to consider it now seemed like cruelty. He didn’t want to think about it. 

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. He certainly enjoyed it this time. But the more attached he got, the deeper in he delved, it was only going to get harder. 

He forced himself to look at her, and lifted his hand to brush loving fingers along her cheek. “I know I will cherish any time I spend with you.” 

“And what about after?” 

After? After she was gone? After she was out of his life forever? At the moment, he couldn’t even conceive of it. He was going to need to build a wealth of strength for when that day inevitably came. For now, he simply couldn’t endure even the thought of it. 

Instead, he opted to try his luck in another department. 

“Why were you crying earlier?” he begged. “I know it was not regarding your knee.” He asked it so softly and with such concern, and he hoped it was enough to convince her to trust him. 

Maybe now, she would finally feel comfortable opening up to him. She didn’t have to hide anymore. 

“It was not,” she admitted, and he hoped she would indulge him. 

“Will you tell me? What was it?” 

Hovering over her relaxed form, he saw her breath a large sigh of resignation. 

“I was just... disgusted.” 

“With what?” he asked, on baited breath for her answer, and leaning in close. 

She turned her head to look up at him, and her obvious displeasure made him ache. 

“With myself.” He creased his brow in confusion as to what she could have possibly done wrong. “I knew I was going to give myself to you, and I was depressed to think of how I’d sunk to laying with a man who used to be such a vicious, cold-blooded youkai.” 

He frowned, and looked away. It was just as he feared. And she wasn’t wrong. He wondered when it was going to hit her. He knew she’d realize it eventually. 

“I mean, you’re fine now,” she seemed to offer for his benefit. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I'm rutting with a former demon who actually tried to kill me.” She scoffed in mild disbelief, as if she should have known better. “I’m a priestess! I used to be pure and good, and I've let myself become tainted by one of the most unrepentant killers the world has ever known.” 

He looked down at her apologetically. He knew she was right. And he didn’t want this for her. It wasn’t fair. 

“That demon, who only sought power, failed to impress his father, so he spent his life torturing his brother- a mere half breed.” She fixed him with a distasteful expression. “To think, that the pathetic youkai you used to be, had all that strength, but still went toe to toe with a half demon, and lost! No wonder your father did not trust you with his sword. You are nothing compared to him.” 

“I know.” He dropped his gaze. He was too ashamed to look at her. He didn’t even deserve to. 

He should have been stronger. He’d let his weakness rule him, and now she was going to suffer for it. Just like Rin... 

She sat up then, the edges of his brother’s robe falling open as she did so. She didn’t seem to care, but he wouldn’t shame her by looking. He was unworthy of it. 

“Only now can you wield Tetsusiaga, and its only because of me, and only because you are human.” He continued to listen to her biting assessment, cowardly eyes still downturned. “If you were that youkai still, you would never have found the way. And you’d probably still be picking petty fights with Inuyasha and I trying to figure it out. It's disgusting.” 

It was true. All of it. He wondered how he had been able to walk around with this knowledge. How did he live with himself, knowing his shameful past? Knowing what the association would mean for her. 

“I never should have let myself fall for you,” she declared, obviously disgusted with herself as much as him. “But you lured me in with a handsome face, and the promise of carnal delights, which, I’ll give you, you came through on.” It offered him the barest of solace, that he at least had been able to give her pleasure. It was the very least she deserved, and only the best he could do. “But if it wasn’t for that, you would have no value to me. Only your prowess, and pity keeps me near.” 

And he thanked the kami for that prowess. But cursed it as well. Without it, she never would have lowered herself for him. But then, she would be a lot better off. 

And he wished he didn’t have her pity. He knew that her compassion would never cease to be her detriment. 

Finally, as if only just aware, she grabbed Inuyasha’s haori and closed it; wrapping it around herself tightly with disdain. He continued to look at her sadly, longing to help her, but completely powerless to. He was lost. 

“It just sickens me, the thought that one day, you will go back to being that demon once again.” Now she dropped her gaze, and shook her head in exasperation. “I’m so ashamed of myself. Is my self worth truly so low? My self-respect?” 

What was he thinking? Was he truly so self-serving? He had claimed to want to aid her in building up her sense of self. How could he do that when she was letting her enemy violate her? Perhaps he was not so different as he used to be. He was just as loathsome as he’d ever been. Just as selfish. 

“I’m better than you deserve. And I just hope you can live with yourself, for making me care for you, only to break my heart just like your brother. You are not worth my anguish. How dare you cause me pain, you selfish bastard.” 

At least she was aware now. The one bright side was that now, she could finally see it. She was no longer deluding herself by viewing him through a rosy tint. He hung his head, and let her berate him. Trying to let his debasement serve as some small form of penance. 

“And you know the saddest part?” He forced himself to look her in the eye this time. She deserved his full regard as she finally told him truth he needed to hear. And he waited to hear it; prepared for the pain. “For a moment, you actually thought you might be worthy of me. You will never be worthy. Not now, and certainly not when you are demon again.” She leaned back down again, and turned her head away dismissively as she spoke. “So you enjoy every last taste of me you get. Savor it, and let the memory serve you well on those cold, lonely nights for the rest of your long, miserable life.” 

“You are right, of course. And I apologize.” He sounded low. Defeated. Still unable to look at her, still too ashamed to even remain in her presence, he forced out his suggestion. Both hoping she would take him up on it, and deathly afraid that she would. “Would you like to be rid of me?” 

He waited in agony as she paused to consider his fate. 

“No. Not yet.” He watched her part her clothing once more, and felt shame in his instant, powerful reaction to her naked body. “You are only good to me for one thing, so you can at least make yourself useful. And make it good. If you lose the ability to pleasure me, you will have no value to me at all.” 

Eager to please, and heeding her warning well, Sesshoumaru placed his hand gently on her thigh, and stroked softly up her leg. The throaty moan, along with the arch of her back told him he still had value for the moment, and was relieved. Her pleasure was his own, so he was going to focus it all on her. 

With a half-lidded, sultry smile, she grabbed his face and began to pull him near. She needed to be harsh with him, but she still gave credit where credit was due. He requested her honesty, did he not? 

“But kami, I love the way you touch me. It is almost enough to make it all worth it. _That_ is why you are so dangerous, Killing Perfection.” His lips touched hers from where he hovered beside her, and all of his stress and regret melted away at her welcoming embrace. 

She bent her legs, while he brought his hand up to her chest, to fondle and tightly squeeze the large mounds that were bared to him. She moaned into his mouth at the contact, and he lowered himself to suck and lick her taut nipples. One hand roughly played with an aching breast while the other was pleasured by his mouth. 

In a swift move, he was between her thighs. She had to spread wide to allow for his intrusion while he kissed and nipped his way down her stomach. She couldn’t restrain her giggles as he tickled her with his tongue, but her back arched in anticipatory pleasure the closer he got to the thatch of tight curls. 

Her breathing became labored as he descended, and the sight of him hovering over her womanhood caused her heartrate to soar. He looked down at the treasure between her legs as if in reverence, and after admiring her for a moment, he lifted his hungry eyes to hers in a silent plea for permission. 

The vision of him had her throbbing, and her chest continued to heave up and down dramatically as she nodded her consent, initiating a predatory look in his eye that had her thrilling with excitement. 

He brought his hands before him, one on each side to open her to him. She gasped at the feeling of cool air hitting where she was now exposed, but he only continued to stare. Eyes glazed over, as if he were admiring a painting, but with determined intent, as if studying a map, and a pink tongue poked out between his lips, parting them, and wetting them slightly. 

He was practically salivating. 

She was about to scream that he get on with it, but he was half a second too quick for her. He extended his neck forward, and opened his mouth wide to place her swollen clit on the center of his tongue. She wailed at the pleasurable attack as he hooked his hands around her thighs to keep her open and pull her to him. 

She wiggled and squirmed, unable to handle such intense, pointed treatment. He adjusted his neck; angling his head just right to put his mouth exactly where he needed it. He used all of his tongue to find each and every one of her favorite spots, and a few she didn’t even know she had. 

He ventured lower for a moment, to test and tease her recently breached opening, but a sharp order from her put him right back where he was, licking and darting his talented tongue around the tender pearl above. 

As she cried her appreciation, he decided to compromise by moving in to explore her with his fingers. First one, then a second was added, and he proceeded to saw them in and out of her all the way to the hilt. 

He fucked her with them, and with his mouth, and she blissfully responded by praising his name and thrusting her hips up into his face. He didn’t mind at all, happily taking the abuse while his chin became sticky with the evidence of his success. 

Her breathing became heavy and quick, and each moan that left her lips began to run together in an endless string of words he’d never heard, and butchered fragments of his name. When she stiffened, he recognized the familiar tell, so he wrapped his lips around her puffy clit and sucked, while at the same time pressing down hard on it with the tip on his tongue. 

Not expecting the sudden onslaught, Kagome shrieked, and cursed, and then praised his name, over and over as she rode out the waves of pleasure he’d induced. She continued grinding up into his mouth until they’d finally run their course, and in turn he did not conclude his attentions until she indicated she was through. 

Finally, as eyes rolled back beneath closed lids, she reached down for him, and pulled him up to her. She kissed him, appreciated him, thanked him, and he smiled happily at the reaction. He was simply pleased to give her the little bit of happiness that he could. And when she relaxed, he could as well. She went limp as he gathered her in his hold, and her contentment was his own. 

* * *

The water was freezing, but it was clean. Even a burst of the miko’s purity would do little to improve the crystal-clear substance that washed through the mountain range. He hoped it was enough. Enough to purify him, and rinse him of the clutter and grime, and troubling excess he felt he was walking around with. 

He wished she had agreed to join him. He could feel her arms wrapping around his middle. He could see her standing before him, ready and willing, and despite the cold water, he took his thick, hard cock in his hand and indulged in an act he had been doing well at avoiding until now. 

She'd been too near lately, too receptive. He was starting to get a grip on his human body and its needs, but he’d had her pressed against him for much of the last 24 hours, and he’d tasted her lips more than once. 

He was gaining control, but where she was concerned, it was much harder to come by. He pictured taking her against those rocks. Taking her innocence, and she loved it. He gripped his cock in his hand, and drug it from base to tip over and over, until visions of her screaming his name finally caused him to expel himself into the river around him. 

‘Move,’ she told him in his mind’s eye, and he was happy to comply. 

Even if he never got to have her, she would always have a space just for her carved out in the corner of his mind. A place where he could always find happiness, and truly be free. 

The current immediately washed his shameful indiscretion from the area. 

The water was cold, and now he was clean. He was ready to dry himself off, and join her once more. He imagined briefly how the exchange by the fire would go... 

* * *

She was relieved when he stepped into the firelight at last. She was a bit embarrassed at her previous display after holding Tetsusaiga, but she’d managed to get control of her emotions in the time he’d been away bathing, and she was once again ready for his company. 

He said nothing as he approached, and sat wordlessly on the other side of the fire she’d kept going for them. His hair was still wet from the river, and tight skin over taut muscles was evidence of its invigorating effects, as he’d only bothered to dress his lower half. His stolen shirt, as well as his brother’s haori were deposited casually at his side before bending his knees, and stretching his neck dramatically. 

She watched him a moment, unsure of what to say and hating the discomfort she was feeling. Why did she have to make things so difficult? He never felt awkward, so she shouldn’t need to either. But then again, he still wasn’t looking at her; just rubbing the moisture out of his hair, and wiping a few remaining droplets away from his freshly washed skin. 

“How’s the water?” she finally thought to ask, just desperate to start conversation. 

“Refreshing.” But he’d still yet to look at her. He was twisting awkwardly this way and that, as if trying to pop a certain joint, or stretch a certain muscle. She watched on curiously as he pulled his arm in front of him, and realization finally dawned when he tried to subtly rub at a hard to reach spot on his upper back. 

“Are you okay? Did you pull something?” 

He stopped, frowning at being caught, and unwilling to cause her any worry. 

“It is fine.” But she knew that tone of voice. He so hated to show any form of weakness, and she wished that wasn’t so. Just like his knife wound, he did not want to admit to being susceptible to pain; did not want to concern her with it. But of course she would; his reticence just made her job harder. She really had to be paying attention to detect what he was unwilling to betray. 

But he was her friend, and the thought of him hurting hurt her. He was so attentive to her every discomfort, and she wished he trusted her enough to share those things with her. 

Knowing he would refuse if asked, she wordlessly stood, and made her way over to his side of the fire. When she sat down on her knees behind him, he twisted around to stare at her uncertainly. 

“What are you doing?” he demanded, but her gentle push commanded him to turn back around. He was still resistant. 

“Where does it hurt?” 

“Miko, it is nothing you-” 

“need concern myself with?” she asked, her irritation clear. “I’m afraid it is. You carried me all over these mountains, so if you pulled a muscle, I consider it my responsibility to care for.” 

Seeing as he appeared unwilling to direct her, she placed her hands on his naked back and began to poke around. She squeezed at his shoulders, and felt how tight they were, but continued her perusal for the most offensive culprit. 

“I do not need-” 

“I thought we were pack, Sesshoumaru.” The hurt in her voice stopped his objection cold. “Pack takes care of each other. So let me do this, please. It’s important to me.” 

She took his silence as permission to continue, but he also seemed uncomfortable instructing her to his pain. But she saw where he had tried to inconspicuously rub at his shoulder, so she focused on that general area. 

It didn’t take long to find the tender spot. A rock-hard lump was easily discerned. And now that she looked at it, she could basically see it poking through his skin. He groaned involuntarily when she pressed on the gnarly knot, and tried to hide his embarrassment at his pained reaction to her touch. 

“Kami, it’s so bad.” Her sympathetic tone displeased him, but he could only hiss when pushed on it again a little harder. 

“You should have told me sooner,” she chided, and ran her hand over it very softly this time; gauging the exact location and size, and trying to pinpoint the muscle in relation to others in his back. 

She frowned as she recalled the previous week. He probably injured it hanging from the bridge. Carrying her around must have exacerbated it. She wish she’d have known, but then, what could she have done about it? It only would have worried her and made her feel guilty. 

She found the center of the knot, and pushed her thumb into it firmly. The shameful noise in the back of his throat told him of her accuracy, and she slowly added more pressure to see how much he could take. 

She could tell he was struggling not to retreat, as his body trembled slightly while fighting the urge to pull away. 

She got up higher on her knees, and leaned in to wrap her left arm around his shoulders. That would hold him in place, and she lowered her head to place her lips by his ear. 

She rolled her thumb over him again experimentally, and his initial agonized groan was now laced with gratitude. 

“Good pain, or bad pain?” she whispered softly. His eyes and teeth were clenched tight at the intense pressure. 

“Good pain,” he whispered back, and she smiled in relief. She kneaded slowly, getting past the swollen muscle of his rhomboid and finding the hard little pebble that caused the disruption. She felt her finger skip roughly over it with each pass, and tried to smooth it down for a less dramatic journey. 

He felt her breasts smashing tightly into the other half of his back, and enjoyed the hot breathing on his neck as she worked his abused muscle. She was getting winded herself, with all the force she had to apply, and she rested her perspiring forehead on his opposite shoulder as she ground into his damaged body. 

She started gently, getting him used to the feeling as she gradually applied harder, more pointed pressure. Until eventually, she was able to dig the boney knuckle of her middle finger right into the throbbing mass. 

He gasped, and screamed silently at the unbelievable impact. The painful pleasure of it was nothing he had ever experienced. Youkai do not pull muscles, so he had never felt the amazing duality of raw, exposed nerves being untangled, and unwound with such beautiful force. 

He hated it, and he loved it. He wanted it over, and never to stop. And then she leaned back, and dug her pointy elbow right into the crux of his anguish and just pushed; pressed her weight into it, and held there without moving, and he was paralyzed. He didn’t dare move either as he felt tendrils of sharp, terrible relief shooting through his body. 

That one point on his back, perfectly activated, shot tingling pulses of hot pleasure to several surrounding locations. He was getting a quick lesson in human anatomy, and learning how that particular spot on his body, when properly engaged, could spell relief to his neck, his shoulder, and all throughout his back as well. He felt how they were connected, and the exact road that current traveled to get there. When she touched him, he could see clearly, and became acutely aware of new pains he hadn’t even been aware of. It was wonderful and terrible at the same time. 

“Breathe,” she actually had to remind him, and he did. Heavily, through open lips, he was panting like the dog he was, and a bead of perspiration rolled carelessly from his temple all the way down his jaw. 

She was panting too, with all the effort she had to expend. And when she finally removed her elbow, she pressed herself to his back again. Softly now, gently, she soothed his abused flesh with the less pointed palm of her hand. Feeling her progress, she could detect the much smoother conditions of his upper back. 

She rubbed lightly now with her thumb, more interested in providing superficial pleasure than effective relief. Both of their breathing calmed down as they relaxed, and she moved to rub closer to his neck, lightly pinching and smoothing smaller knots along the way. 

His eyes became hooded, and he tingled at burned where she touched him. And when she lowered her lips to the other side of his neck, he groaned. He bared himself to her, no longer able to feel ashamed for his wanton response. He whimpered like a needy bitch as she ran her tongue along the juncture of his shoulder, and up the side of his sensitive neck. 

When she scraped her teeth behind his ear, he found another pressure point that shot tingling pleasure throughout his form. It ran down his neck and shoulder, and down his spine and absolutely to his groin. He just came in the cold river, but he was so hard again. He couldn’t move, though. He was powerless to stop her. She dominated him, and he was happy to let her. 

Soft lips traveled back down his neck, and set to chew lightly on the rope of his upper shoulder. Across his impressive traps all the way over to the rounded bone of his arm. She placed one last kiss there as she stopped rubbing him. When he turned his head to look at her, she lifted her hand to his cheek and guided his lips seamlessly to hers. 

His tongue was impatient, and sought hers immediately. He intended to relay this gratitude; to show his appreciation for caring for him. He didn’t realize how good it felt to be looked after; how much he needed it. Not just for the physical relief and repair she had offered him, but just to know he had someone, he had pack who worried and wanted for his well-being, for his safety was a need he was not aware he possessed. He didn’t know how good it felt; how nutritious. 

He’d intended to relay that gratitude, but his desire for her in that moment demanded acknowledgement, and was strong. He pulled her into his lap to straddle him, and a small squeak of surprise left her throat, and he swallowed it. His hands found her hips, and she moaned in realization as he ground her harshly into another throbbing mass of hard, aching tension. Perhaps she would be willing to see to relieving it as well... 

Her hands returned to his shoulders, and she gripped them tight as she pulled herself to him to kiss him harder. She cradled his head in her hands, and rocked on him slightly as her lips, and tongue, and breath combined with his. 

She pulled back to look down at him from above. Her hair fell around him, dusting his cheeks as he stared up at her in admiration. He was willing to give her anything; wanting to give her everything. So he simply leaned back, and tried to discern what a woman like her could possibly want from him. 

But as he took in her flushed features, the look on her face gave him pause. His mind was fuzzy, and cluttered after what she had just done for him, but it began to clear away at the look he received. 

Eyes, usually filled with such life and fire, had been dulled. Void of the sparkle and excitement they usually possessed, they were fixed down upon him somberly, and with unmistakable regret. 

Did she regret him? Regret what she had done? Did she resent him for it? 

He gazed desperately into them, the lust within him ebbing at the heartbreaking sight, and became ill with concern when a single, lonely tear rolled down her cheek. 

She moved quickly to wipe it away, before he was given the chance, and pressed forward again in what he assumed was an attempt to distract him from her pain. But his hands lifted to her shoulders, holding her back. This seemed to upset her further. 

She looked away, down to the side, but he would not let her hide from him. He lifted a hand to her cheek, and commanded her attention back. She leaned into his touch, but the sorrow on her features took him back to earlier, before his bath in the river. 

“Why were you crying before? I know it was not for your knee.” 

He knew she had lied to him. Again. But he wasn’t angry with her. He wasn’t even offended. It just made him... sad. He wanted her to trust him, but more than that, he wanted to help her. Just like she had done with him. Maybe he couldn’t, but he would try. If she only gave him the chance, he would do everything he could to cure her sadness. Even if it had something to do with him, they could work on it together. 

But he saw her hesitance, and became crestfallen. He looked away feeling rejected; defeated. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” 

His soft, dejected tone cut her to the core. She didn’t want to burden him; she had no right to. But she couldn’t let him think she didn’t have faith in him. Either way, she was going to hurt him. 

“Tetsusaiga spoke to me,” she finally admitted, and earned his complete attention. 

“He said our hearts are tied together.” 

He’d assumed as much. He hated seeing her so upset. Hated being the cause of it. 

He looked down, tired of the hurt in her eye. Ashamed of having put it there. 

“And you do not wish to be tethered as such to me.” 

She instantly tensed, and became startled at his assumption. 

“What? No! I do,” she insisted frantically, and commanded his attention returned with the flat of her hand. She made him look her in the eyes. “I really do, more than anything. That’s the problem.” 

He looked at her in confusion, but she might have been more perplexed than he was. It wasn’t like Sesshoumaru to totally miss the point. 

“He said we will never be whole if we don’t complete the bond.” 

Slowly, it dawned on him. 

“... and we cannot.” 

She scowled, and shot him an accusing glare. 

“So you say.” 

She folded her arms and retreated slightly, and he softened in response; hating to have to go through this again. That damn sword. 

“Miko, we have discussed this. We decided-” 

“That what?” she demanded hotly, effectively cutting off his rationalizations. “People might not like it? So what? It’s better than knowing we are definitely going to be miserable.” It was different now. Before, it was only heartbreak they were going to have to overcome. That was a pain that could be healed with strength, and time. Now, something much larger was at play. Something they couldn’t run from. “I think it's worth it to take the chance. Screw what anyone else says. Since when do you care about other people’s opinions?” 

But that wasn’t it. If that was all it was, there would be no problem. Well, not as much of one. He regarded her firmly, setting his hard features with a cloak of determination. 

“I do not. What I care for is your safety. I will not compromise that.” 

He was tired of reiterating himself. Did she think he wanted this? Did she not think it would hurt him too? This was just as hard for him as it was for her. 

“What about my happiness? Will you compromise that?” 

He scowled. Of course he wanted her happy, she must know that by now. But he had already thought of that. That was the other thing. 

“You will endure. And even thank me, I believe, when I return to my form and you are forced to recall who I truly am.” 

“Why do you keep saying that?” she demanded desperately; angrily. “You are who you are right now. That isn’t going to change.” 

Why was he so resistant to that thought? Surely, he couldn’t think he would forget about her and go back to hating her again, did he? It seemed impossible. 

“It will. You have a selective memory. You tend to romanticize. You cannot see it now, but when you lay eyes upon my youkai self, I am sure you will recall quite quickly who I have been. What I have done.” 

She wanted to tell him he was wrong. She was sure that he was. But he painted a powerful picture. In truth, she hadn’t really considered looking at Sesshoumaru the youkai much since his change. Not at all, really. Would she feel differently, when he was back to his old self? It might not even ever come up, but she’d learned her lesson about voicing that thought. 

“That sword assumes much, and knows very little. You say you trust me? Then prove it. Trust me now. I know of what I speak. I will not put you in danger.” 

He hated telling her no. He hated that sadness in her eyes, and that he had put it there, and that he could not remove it. But he had to hold firm. All he had to do was think of Rin, to remind him of why he could not indulge her. 

He pulled her to him, pleased when she allowed him to hug her close. He could not give her the answer she desired, but he could offer her comfort. She seemed to relish it, and he was greatly relieved for the opportunity to attempt and assuage her pain. 

He rubbed her back lightly in an attempt to soothe, and enjoyed the way each breath she took pressed her to him a little tighter. He closed his eyes, and let the rhythmic sound of it calm him. He hoped it was having the same effect on her, and took the resulting moment of silence as a sign that it was. 

“I want to see your cut. The one on your leg.” 

The demand out of nowhere surprised him, and he pulled back from the embrace. 

The curious look he gave her betrayed his confusion. The wound was gone. She’d completely healed it. 

At his obvious suspicion, she pressed further. 

“I need to look at it again. Will you show me?” Her tone betrayed nothing, and did nothing for his uncertainty. 

Checking on her work, perhaps? Maybe assuring herself of its absence? 

He saw no harm. It was her doing, after all. 

She slid off his lap so he could undo the ties of his hakama, and sat anxiously by as he proceeded to do so. He pulled them down enough to once again expose his inner thigh, where his stab wound had been. He didn’t expect her to grab the material, and pull it down his legs a little farther than was needed. 

He watched as she boldly reached forward, and stroked the patch of skin that was now free of any marring. Not even a scar remained, a testament to her craftsmanship. 

Gentle fingers continued to stroke the area, back and forth as if transfixed. He watched her lovingly caress him, stoking the fires of arousal with each pass of her delicate hand. His fundoshi concealed his hardness as she drew dangerously close to his hip. His breath caught in his throat when she unexpectedly lunged forward, leaning in and placing her face near his leg so as to better inspect the damage... he assumed. 

But he hissed low and long when she pressed her lips to the spot where his terrible scar should be; the small part of him she’d made brand new. Her cheek brushed the cloth at his hip, and the feel of her lips – and now her tongue – so near his manhood had him tingling wonderfully, and straining to burst free of his confines. 

Her fingers strayed then, rubbing upward to trace the material resting at the top of his thigh. She fingered it, teasing it, before leaning forward and placing an opened mouth kiss on the furry patch of skin far below his navel. Her chin came in contact with his clothed manhood at the action, and he gasped her name in surprise as he reclined back onto his elbows. 

Her other hand lifted to toy with the fabric at his other hip, and each of her fingers hooked behind the material and threatened to slowly peel it down. Both hands moved inboard, still remained slipped beneath his waistband, and she got a better hold as she slowly yanked them back. 

Her face hovered just inches above him, and his eyes looked almost startled when they came in contact with hers. She smiled at the sight, and the vision became too much for him. He closed them tightly, and threw his head back in helpless need. 

He wanted to make sure it was alright. Make sure she was alright with this, but shamefully, he could not find it in him to make her question her choices. She truly made him weak, and he couldn’t bear to look at her. 

He felt her, though. Felt her hot breath ghosting across his lower abdomen. Felt the backs of her fingers tickle lightly as they dragged along his pelvis. Felt her pull his undergarment away from where it rested low on his hips, and begin to peel it down his shaft. 

The material slid down his aching cock, painfully slow. He felt each throbbing inch of himself become exposed to her view, cool air and hot breath battling to overwhelm him with sensation. The neck of his cock was bare, but the fabric sliding down his hips got caught on the head. The way it reached out for her had it fighting to spring from cover, but the last couple of inches remained restrained by the confining cloth. 

She held it like that a moment, stuck in a maddening limbo. Near trembling with barely restrained desire, he forced himself to look down at her again, to make sure she wasn’t having second thoughts. The seductive look she gave him told him she wasn’t. There was need in those blue eyes too, and the knowledge of that caused his heart to soar with contentment. With acceptance. 

He smiled down at her lovingly, and she took the opportunity to ask her burning question. 

“Is there anything I can do to convince you to stay?” she asked, barely above a whisper. It took a moment to register, as lust and anticipation rendered his mind foggy. But once it finally did, his smile instantly vanished. 

The suggestive question was tainted with hope, and as soon as he recognized it, he willed himself back from the brink. 

He didn’t know how he did it, perhaps he was not as weak as he assumed. But as frustrated, and wrought with turmoil as he was, he was proud of himself for his restraint. He may be a weak, pathetic, useless human. But at least, he could maintain a sliver of his honor. At least he could live with himself. He would do right by her, he vowed. And if that meant denying himself, so be it. He could do it a thousand times over. His pleasure would not be worth her life. He would not lose her. 

Her face fell when he sat up, and she got a clear view of the resignation on his. There was not hurt, or anger, or disappointment on his beautiful features. Just concern, and pity. 

He did not relish his task, but he would do it all the same. He would do what needed to be done. Sesshoumaru always did. 

“No,” he offered confidently, crushing the hope in her chest, and her heart along with it. 

He was happy to proceed. Desperate, even. He could think of nothing he desired more in that moment than for the woman between his legs to finish pulling his cock out of his pants, and wrap her lips around him. Accept him. Console him. Please him. And he was more than willing to return the favor. 

But there was one thing he wanted more. More than even the feel of her soft, moist mouth gliding firmly along his neglected cock, he needed to know she would be okay. He needed to keep her safe. 

And if she still held out hopes for him to forsake that, just to keep her with him, he could not oblige her. Even the pleasure of her tempting body would not lure him from his duty to keep her protected. 

Until the day she could accept that – and kami, he hoped it was soon – he could not allow things to progress between them. She might hate him now, but she would see in time that he was right. She might think he was breaking her heart now, but he knew he was protecting it. 

With stunning restraint, he tucked himself back into his fundoshi, and pulled his pants back up over his hips. He worked the fastens as she helplessly looked on. 

“Perhaps you should go to sleep.” 

His heart clenched at the hurt flashing across her features, but he steeled himself. He had to be strong for her. But he flooded with worry when she rose, and ran from the fire they had agreed to sleep by. 

He cursed to himself as he hurriedly finished tying his hakama, and took off after her. 

* * *

When he found her, she was laying curled on her side, in the soft grass beneath one of the shorter mountain trees. She sobbed pitifully into her hands, and for a moment, he debated whether he should disturb her. 

She clearly wanted space from him; clearly was upset. But more than anything, he wanted to gather her into his arms, and hold her close, and comfort her. To make her understand it has nothing to do with her; that his feelings for her were not deficient. 

That it was because he cared for her so much that he could never subject her to a life with him... 

And after a moment, he decided he would go to her. He’d denied himself enough for one evening. She was just going to have to put up with his nearness. 

He approached cautiously though, thoroughly aghast at her obvious distress. 

All this over him? This woman’s priorities were grossly out of balance, to waste her tears on him. She was too good for that, and he wasn’t worth it. He was going to have to do some serious work to help elevate her self-respect to an acceptable level. 

She heard when he settled in behind her, and felt him gather her to him, and pull her against his body with his vice of an arm. 

“Go away,” she demanded in between sniffles. Tears continued to leak, but her violent sobbing had halted. 

“No.” 

He rubbed his hand up and down her arm soothingly, as she tried to get ahold of herself in his presence. She hated that he was making her. She hated that he was here to see it. 

“Please, just leave me alone,” she pleaded, her voice a hoarse whisper. He responded by nuzzling his cheek against her back. 

“I cannot.” 

His insistence and confidence was pretty much expected. She didn’t know what else she could do. She was so tired of fighting him. She didn’t have anything left. 

“It is for the best,” he tried to explain, but she’d heard it all before. “One day, you will see-” 

“Shut up,” she ordered, but it sounded like begging. “Please. If you aren't going to leave, can you at least just shut up?” 

He could grant her that, he supposed. He only wanted to offer comfort, and support. He didn’t need words to do that. 

He felt her clench and tighten in his hold, and began running his hand over her cramped flesh. Kami, she was so tight. So... stressed out. He wished he could just rub his hands over her, and heal her as she healed him earlier with her magnificent touch. Soothe her tense muscles with deft fingers, relax and calm her with his very presence. Show her without words how much he truly cared for her. 

Her hands had given him so much today. She’d healed his open wound with her reiki, and reduced his pain to nothing with only her loving caress. And she would have done more for him, if only he’d allowed it. She gives so much of herself. Too much. And in return, she is forced to bear the burden of her anxieties alone. Anxieties pertaining to him. 

If only he had a magic touch, like she did. If only he could melt away her troubles and worries with his regard for her, as a true alpha should do. If he were a good alpha, he would-” 

And then he realized, he _could_. 

It would be wrong of him to take from her body while knowing what she desired was a future. But that did not mean he could not give... 

So long as she understood he was not promising forever, he could use his capable hands to relieve her of her burden, if only briefly. She deserved at least that. 

It would be just like in the cave. This was maintenance, not love. He was simply taking care of her. He was curing her pain. As tightly wound as she was, it was clear she needed it, and he would be neglecting her to deny it. 

She was shaking from poorly restrained sobs when he slid his hand over the curve of her hip, and found his way beneath her skirt. Then she stilled with a gasp when he took his two fingers and began rubbing pleasing circles into her outer lips. 

Caught somewhere between shock and need, she allowed him to continue. The initial jolt of shock turned quickly to a tingle of pleasure. His motions worked to part her lips, and he easily found the tender nub that hid between. She grabbed his arm, not to stop him, but to brace herself. To give her something to hold onto. 

She moaned with mounting relief as he continued to stroke her, and arched into him in response to the wonderful pressure he created. He never said a word. She never asked him to. Just accepted his silent comfort; taking all he was willing to give. 

She bucked into his hand as he worked out her tension. He brought his chin over her shoulder, touching her cheek to his to reaffirm his nearness. He could hear her increased panting at his marvelous attentions, and he decided he wanted more. 

He lifted his hand until he found the waistband of her thin cotton panties. When he did, he slid his fingers inside them, separating the sticky, wet material from her skin in favor of his own. 

Another loud intake of shaky breath was his reward, and he accented the increase in friction by turning his head to kiss her sweetly on the cheek. He moved his lips down to her neck, remembering when she did the same to him, and how wonderful he found the sensation. Now he was dominating her, and he needed her to know she had his complete attention. She was his only concern. 

He continued to massage her clit, taking cues from her reactions as to what she might enjoy as he feasted on her neck and throat. He snaked his free arm under her head, and wrapped it around so he could massage her chest as well. The feel of his large hand squeezing her breast had her making the most erotic sounds. He was incredibly hard again, and could not refrain from grinding himself firmly into her ass. 

Feeling him there, she arched into him, grinding back against him harder, and earning a low groan for her efforts. This caused him to increase the pressure on her clit, and suck harder at the crook of her shoulder. His other hand was squeezing her roughly, and as he pulled her tighter, he continued to thrust his hard cock against her supple curves. 

He heard her breathing quicken, so he increased his pace and pressure between her legs until he felt her become stiff in his arms. She sobbed her strangled release, still thrusting into his hand as she rode out her pleasure to the end. Her pleasure was his own, and knowing he got her there ensured his next thrust against her ass threw him over the edge with her. He held her as he came, trembling slightly, and grinding against her until every last drop was spilt. 

He pressed his forehead into her shoulder, and continued to squeeze her tightly as he recovered from the intense sensation. He needed her to know he was here with her, and even though he could not stay that way forever, he was right now, in this moment. He wanted that to be enough for her. He needed it to be. He wanted to be enough for her. 

He felt her relax in his hold, and he hoped that was a sign that some of her stress had left her. He relaxed as well, though he did not loosen his grip. 

“Did you... come too?” she managed to ask between ragged pants of breath. Very much in the same boat, she felt him nod before he was able to answer her. 

“Yes.” The admission delivered amid a bundle of heavy breathing made her smile in contentment. 

Twin sounds of harsh rasping filled the silence between them as they came back down to earth. 

“I’m going to clean up, and return to the fire,” he finally managed to inform her, releasing her at last from his embrace. “Will you come with me?” He pushed himself up with one hand, and she turned back to look at him. He was delighted to see that she was smiling. 

“I’ll come too,” she deigned. “It's only fair.” 

* * *

She woke up in his arms beside the dying embers. Held protectively in his grasp, she smiled when she realized he was still asleep. It was a rare feat to catch him off guard, and she was going to enjoy it. Her arm was still sprawled across his chest while she used his as a pillow, but she shifted a bit, digging her chin into his pecks to gaze upon the Western Lord. 

She studied him for a moment, and was disappointed to find he didn’t snore. It would have made for some great taunting, but it looked like in sleep he was just as silent as ever. 

She felt amazingly refreshed, no doubt thanks to him and his talented fingers. She didn’t realize how stressed she had been, or how well a little physical relief remedied it. Maybe her friends were right, she really did need to get laid. 

No, her problems weren’t over. Each of them was still readily waiting for her. But it was nice to take a few hours off, and recharge her tightly wound batteries. From his deep, peaceful sleeping, she hoped she had been able to ease his burden for a bit too. He put so much pressure on himself... 

He must have felt her staring, because sleepy eyes cracked open to take in her doting features. Seeing her dazzling grin, the corners of his lips lifted too, and he lifted his arm to hold her closer to him. 

“Morning,” she offered pleasantly. He indulged in a modest stretch. 

“Miko.” His formal address was amusing, and he smiled a little bigger at her reaction. 

He couldn’t describe his relief at the sight that greeted him upon awakening. She had been so upset before; so distraught. He was looking at a new woman, and he couldn’t help but wonder if just that little bit of attention he’d given her had really made such a difference. 

It was hard to believe, but he supposed it was possible. Her simple touch had improved life for him as well. But no matter what it was, he was happy that they both got to start this day in better shape than the last. 

He just looked down at her; watching her watching him, and giving her the gift of his pleasant smile for as long as she wanted to look at it. 

She wore hers as well, and it did not drop from her rejuvenated features when she felt compelled to offer up her small atonement. 

“I’m sorry about last night. I was being over emotional.” 

He ran his fingers through her hair, and regarded her sympathetically. But also, gratefully. 

He understood the way she felt, because he felt exactly the same. He was pleased now that she appeared to have come to terms with the realities of their situation, and just like him, she was refusing to let it defeat her. 

“No need to apologize,” he informed her. “Do you feel better?” 

She got a playful look on her face, as she recalled how he eased her tension. It made him want to try it again, and make sure there wasn’t any more stress she was holding onto. 

“Much better, thank you.” Her answer was dripping with suggestion, and she threw a sly glance his way. “And you?” 

He pulled her tighter to him, and rubbed soothing circles on her back while he recalled the amazing massage she’d given him the night before. 

“Better than I have in some time.” 

And he meant it. Yesterday morning, he’d woken up a horrible cramping pain in his back, and a throbbing, infected knife would in his leg. Now, he was repaired, refreshed, and ready to start again with renewed energy. Having a happy, much more relaxed miko clinging to his side was not a terrible bonus, either. He just hoped he had been able to do even a fraction for her what she had done for him. 

He hoped that now she was aware that he would do anything in his power to give her what she needed, and she didn’t have to keep things bottled up to deal with on her own. 

“I just want to say, I understand what you’ve been trying to tell me. I know you’re just trying to protect me, and I appreciate it.” 

“You do?” he asked in surprise, not expecting the confession. He feared that while she grudgingly accepted his decree, it was only because she had no option. He was certain she still did not understand, or agree with him on the issue. 

But if she finally did realize, it would be a huge weight off his shoulders. Not to mention, it would mean she was that much closer to accepting a short term, albeit more intimate, relationship with him in the near future. And he hoped it was soon. With the way her body pressed tightly against his, he didn’t know how much longer he could restrain himself before doing something rash. This was promising. 

“Everything you’ve done... I just want you to know I’m grateful. You have been an amazing friend to me.” 

Friends? Was that what they were? It didn’t sound right to him. But if not, then what? They were not yet lovers. Would never be intended. He supposed they were friends... They were at least friendly. But no. His brother, and the monk were her friends. Whatever they were, it was different than that. It was more. He breathed an inward sigh of relief. Good. He still didn’t have friends. 

“Kagome?” he inquired softly, and she was immediately intrigued. “There is something This One has been wanting to ask...” Okay, now she was really interested. In addition to slipping back into the third person, there was a note of something in his voice that she was certain she’d never heard there before. Something almost unrecognizable coming from his lips. It sounded like... insecurity. When she took note of the slight blush dusting his cheeks, she was sure she was right. 

She waited for him to continue, and was fascinated to watch him flounder, and even hesitate with his question. She was about to prompt him when he finally spit it out. 

“When we arrived at the river yesterday... what did Inuyasha say to you?” 

She furrowed her brow in confusion. It was clear she had no idea what he was talking about. 

“When?” Sesshoumaru huffed, not wanting to draw out his humiliation. 

“Before he left. He kissed your cheek, and whispered something in your ear. What was it?” 

Realization dawned, and a blush stole her cheeks now as well. It was not unlike the one his brother had induced yesterday, and he tried not to scowl at the effect it was still having on her. 

She looked into his increasingly uncomfortable features, and smiled. Instead of making him suffer, she graciously put him out of his misery. 

“Keep him warm.” 

“What?” 

“That’s what he said. ‘Keep him warm.’” 

Understanding flooded through him, followed by approval. He recalled the conversation with his brother inside the hollow tree, and he was pleased to confirm that Inuyasha seemed to be displaying his approval as well. 

That he’d trusted him with Tetsusaiga was monumental. But Sesshoumaru found he appreciated his trust in regards to the miko even more. She so valued his opinion, so his acceptance meant everything. 

It looked like the hanyou no longer disapproved of her efforts to save him that night in the cave, either. The knowledge of that pleased him more than he had been expecting. 

Inuyasha returned just a few hours later with a boat. He’d found Miroku and Sango at the village, and despite them wanting to come with, he ordered them to stay put until he returned. The owner of the boat and his son came along, however, and that was good. The river was harsh, and they needed experienced rowers to take them across. 

It was a terrifying journey, but they managed to make it over without incident. Now all that was left was to return to the village, and reunite with the rest of their party. Then, plans to storm the compound could finally begin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn’t think it was going to be that easy, did you? 
> 
> I know, that was a dirty trick. But I gotta keep my lemon skills sharp. Might need ‘em later... 
> 
> Anywayz, I hope you aren’t too mad. And hopefully, you still enjoyed the fantasy. You can let me hear about it either way. 


	25. Out With the Old

"Does your village house a swordsmith?"

After being welcomed with open arms, Sesshoumaru and Kagome were taken to the empty hut that was graciously made available for their use. A good-sized hole in the outer wall had rendered the housing previously unusable, but repairs were under way, and they were assured it would be completed within a day or two. It meant they would have to endure a bit of construction during their stay, but it was a small price to pay for shelter, and neither were complaining.

The others were being put up by generous villagers who had extra space in their homes and their hearts, and Inuyasha was off fetching them while the newcomers were going through the intake process. It was nothing official; one of the village's leaders was simply trading information while he inventoried their needs. Along with the shelter, food and clothing would be made available, and the couple was grateful. The refuge they were offered was indefinite, but they assured him that the small group would only be staying long enough to recuperate and gather their bearings.

"One of the best!" the man confidently assured him. "He lives across town. I will take you to him tomorrow." Sesshoumaru very much doubted that the swordsmith was anything impressive. No man forging human weapons was capable of anything spectacular. But beggars can't be choosers, so he held his tongue, nodded in thanks, and accepted the friendly man's generous offer.

"Thank you so much for all you have done." Kagome had not been expecting the unconditional kindness they had immediately received. After all they had endured lately, she needed a reminder that there were still good people out there, and she was grateful to have gotten it. In return, she offered her services as a miko for the duration of their stay, but upon learning that she was literate, the man seemed much more interested in using her to help various villagers send letters, or read scrolls and parchments that they had received. She of course agreed, but she still felt bad that they couldn't compensate these nice people further.

"We really appreciate your kindness, and the kindness of your village. I only wish we had more to give you."

"Think nothing of it, young lady," the man said with a smile, and shifted a bit where he sat on his knees as he faced them. "I am in a position to do you a favor. Perhaps someday, you will be in a position to do me a favor." Kagome agreed quickly, and told him she hoped the day would come where she could return his kindness. Sesshoumaru, however, remained silent.

"Such things can be incredibly valuable. The way I see it, so long as a man owes me his kindness, I shall never be wanting." His twinkling eyes had the young woman beaming, but Sesshoumaru inwardly scowled. He hated being indebted to anyone. And though this man had done nothing to warrant his suspicion, the Western Lord did not trust anyone who went around collecting favors. But he was in no position to refuse him, and honor would dictate he see his debt repaid. He just hoped that this town's needs were as harmless as this man appeared to be.

"Oh, thank kami." Sango's relief was palpable as she pulled the hut's curtain open and rushed inside.

Miroku was right behind her, followed by Inuyasha, who was holding a bandaged up, but very on-the-mend, Kirara in his arms.

Kagome stood just in time to receive the emotional woman's tearful hug, and as the interruption appeared to signify the end of their little pow wow, the two men rose as well.

"I was so scared!" Sango wept into her friend's shoulder, allowing the stress and fear of the last few uncertain days to stream from her tear ducts and finally grant her relief. "When the bridge fell, I thought we were going to lose you."

"So did I." Kagome tried to laugh, but seeing the usually outwardly strong woman reduced to a blubbering mess made it impossible not to respond in kind.

It had been a very traumatic experience, and Kagome realized she hadn't been dealing with it properly. Ever since that moment, it had been one thing after another, and she was forced to repress any reaction she might have otherwise had to the terrifying ordeal. It didn't help that the man she had been traveling with didn't seem to react to anything, so it made it terribly easy to push the incident out of her mind and forget how close she'd really come to being killed.

But now, seeing the rest of her party for the first time since then, it was impossible to ignore. She was finally allowed to grieve, and she cried tears of remorse and relief in the arms of her friend while Sango did the same.

The villager took the emotional reunion as his cue to leave, so with a friendly, yet somber nod at the men, he did just that. The remaining males stood silently, and let the women have their moment.

Sesshoumaru watched on passively while the scene played out, but a pair of eyes burning into him seemed to demand his attention. He looked over to the monk, and was interested to see that the normally jovial man was fixing him with a very intent stare.

"My lord," he offered gravely, once he had Sesshoumaru's attention. "I need a word in private, if I may." He studied the earnest monk a moment, before sliding his gaze back over to Kagome. With a nod, the two men stepped outside the hut to be alone.

"We all saw what you did back there." The accusation startled him, and he actually became nervous as to what the young houshi was referring. "Any lingering doubts I may have had in regards to you or your intentions within this pack were completely snuffed out with that one courageous act." He gave an inward sigh of relief when he realized he must be talking about the bridge.

"When that rope snapped, I thought..." The monk paused, and the implications hung in the air between them for a long, unpleasant moment. The look of naked horror on Miroku's face forced Sesshoumaru to acknowledge just how close to losing her he had come. It was something he preferred not to think on, so he simply hadn't until now.

The houshi shook himself to get back to his point. "Kagome-sama is my dearest friend," he informed him, and despite his unfortunate language, was able to successfully relay his seriousness. "I never thought I could care so much for a woman I've never bedded, but I do. I might actually love her more than any other woman I've known."

It was likely the truth. He'd come to realize that he hadn't had a relationship with any woman as long as the one he had with Kagome. Even though it was platonic, it was no less valuable. It might have even been the reason it mattered so much to him. He hated to think it was the reason it had endured. "I never had a sister, but that woman is my family. You will forever have my gratitude."

Sesshoumaru wasn't surprised. The depth of devotion that woman inspired seemed to have no end. It was a well with no bottom, but instead, a portal to some strange new world he had never known.

"I was scared when we got separated. But after what you did, I realized I had nothing to fear." Sesshoumaru hated the way his spine stiffened at even the most trivial acknowledgement. This man's opinion should mean nothing to him. Yet, it felt validating to receive even the barest of recognition at the moment. It must be his current predicament, and all the failings that came with it, that had him so thirsty for confirmation that he was still everything he knew he was. "I knew that as long as you were with her, she was going to be safe, and I was right. You brought her back to us, without a scratch on her."

It had been a good long while since the Western Lord had needed to prove himself in any regard. It never got old; seeing those who doubted him realize the extent of his capabilities.

Nothing was impossible for him, he simply needed the inclination to do something, and it would be done. When would everyone understand that? Until they did, he would continue to show them.

"I know it might not mean much to you, but I want you to know that you will always have this monk's loyalty. I will be in your corner for the rest of my life. If you ever have need of me, I will be there. You have my word."

Sesshoumaru was more than a little startled at the well of the monk's regard, but once again, he kept his surprise in check. It seemed he'd earned the undying loyalty of this pack, simply by saving the woman he felt compelled to save anyhow. It wasn't like there was ever another option.

At his lack of response, Miroku held his hand out between them then. Unfamiliar with the custom, Sesshoumaru only looked down at it curiously, before turning his questioning eyes back up to the man's face.

"What is that?" he finally asked.

"It's just something men do. A sign of mutual respect." He considered that a moment. The two of them were not equals, and he would not pretend otherwise. But, he supposed, he did have a measure of respect for the man. At least his priorities seemed to be in order... when there was not a willing female around.

He mimicked his action, and stuck his hand out experimentally. Miroku reached forward to grab it, and shook it up and down. Sesshoumaru only watched, somewhat intrigued by the strange human custom, though not entirely thrilled to be touched.

Sensing this, Miroku kept the action brief, and remained unoffended when the former youkai wiped his hand off on his clothing after reclaiming it.

"Inuyasha told me about the castle," he saw fit to inform him. "Did you have any trouble at the river?"

"No."

Short and sweet, minus the sweet. But the monk smiled anyway. Sesshoumaru was not in need of useless pleasantries, or idle conversation. So instead of testing the bounds of his generosity, Miroku threw him a bone and put an end to this little sidebar. He'd said what he wanted to say.

"Glad to hear it. Perhaps we should return."

Pleased to be dismissed, Inuyasha's brother made to return inside, but an audacious hand on his shoulder immediately halted his progress.

He turned back slowly.

"When you first came to us, I thought perhaps it was a test from the gods," Miroku admitted jokingly, even though he was dead serious. "Now I am certain, it was a gift."

The women had gotten themselves together by the time they re-entered the hut, and Sesshoumaru was grateful for that. He watched on as Miroku took his turn, and soothed himself by pulling the miko into his warm embrace. Holding her close and knowing she was safe lifted the heavy weights off the monk's shoulders, and Sesshoumaru noticed how he actually looked visibly lighter after assuring himself of her presence.

He then whispered something only for her ears, and whatever it was, he was rewarded with a dazzling smile in return. She still held him as she pulled back, and set her red, drying eyes on his own.

"You forgot to grope me," she noticed with a laugh. "Are you feeling alright?"

He grinned largely in return, and the brothers both offered a scowl as they awaited the inevitable. But thankfully, it never came.

"Perhaps later," he promised with a wink. But Sesshoumaru immediately shut down those aspirations.

"Perhaps not."

Once satisfied with the reunion, the conversation turned quickly to the mission, and their plans going forward. Sesshoumaru laid out his strategy for storming the compound. It was a relatively loose plan so far, and he would be working on it over the next few days. Until then, their instructions were to get rest, build their strength, and lay low.

* * *

Sesshoumaru hadn't returned from the swordsmith with a weapon, but he was given a sanding block. Dulled from whittling spears and various other menial tasks, his stolen sword required a good deal of sharpening. He didn't know what to expect at the compound, but if it was to be his only weapon, he knew he was going to have to be ready for a battle.

After an early morning of meditation and kata routines, he claimed a corner of the hut to get his steel in shape for victory. It had been some time since he had done the chore himself; as a lord, such things were beneath him. But it was actually soothing. He found he could lose himself in his task, and clear his mind of distractions as he ran the sanding stone up the edge of his blade in long, precise passes.

At least, he could have been. But unfortunately, this hut still had a hole in the wall – a fact he was painfully aware of last night as the cold winter air seeped through and exposed the poor quality of the blankets they were given.

And until the hole was fixed, the village handyman, Tadaaki, was going to be in their hut making the repairs. The construction itself wasn't terribly obnoxious. What was, however, was the chattiness of the young man, and the miko's propensity to encourage him.

He was trying to tune them out, but every time he heard her laugh warmly at the boy's comments, or fawn annoyingly at one of his stories, he was distracted from his peace and forced to seethe in silence.

Kagome, friendly and talkative by nature, had an endless string of topics to fill the hours while he worked. And he knew from experience she had enough fuel to keep inane conversations going indefinitely, so any hopes at seeing the exchange end were not nurtured in the slightest.

He was relieved when the first villager came to the hut to request her services. He had a letter in his one hand, and a trey of some kind of dumplings in the other. The dumplings were meant to be payment in exchange for having her read his note for him, and initially, she'd refused. She argued that the village had already done enough for them, but the man insisted she take the food his wife made for her efforts. Eventually, the miko relented.

This paused the conversation between her and Tadaaki for a moment at least, and Sesshoumaru hoped now that he was focused on his work, he could finish up the repair and get out of their way. But after the man left with his letter, it only sparked a whole new topic of conversation.

"You read, miko-sama?" he asked. He was surprised, but not offensively so, and Kagome smiled at him.

"I told you, call me Kagome. And yes, I can read. Everyone can where I come from."

He slowed his work momentarily to absorb the information, and while annoyed, Sesshoumaru was simply pleased he hadn't stopped all together.

The boy made his way closer to pick up a few more supplies.

"Wow. How fortunate you are to be from a land that values education so. And for women as well. I knew you were smart, but that is truly inspiring."

Kagome shrugged, turning back around to return her pen to her pack. She was used to that reaction from people who found out she was learned. They usually seemed to either be impressed, or threatened by the news.

"It isn't that hard. It just takes some practice."

"That's easy for you to say," he replied with a humble grin. "I wish someone had taught me to read, but I doubt I have the aptitude for it."

"You most likely do not," Sesshoumaru opined from across the room.

The miko shot a scowl over to her rude companion, which he managed to avoid by keeping his eyes on his work.

"Nonsense. You're very smart. And like I said, it isn't hard."

Tadaaki couldn't repress his smile, but continued to work, only flashing her a quick, thankful look as he sanded and glued.

"That is kind of you to say, miko-sama. But my talents begin and end with fixing things." His previous insecurity was instantly overridden by modest pride, and he grinned a little wider. "That is where I'm a genius, though. I am incredible with my hands."

Sesshoumaru wasn't sure if the obviously inexperienced boy intended any innuendo. He wanted to believe the worst, but he was just so disarmingly wholesome. Perhaps he was spending too much time around Miroku – which any time clocked around the shameless pervert could qualify as.

At any rate, the miko didn't seem to pick up on it.

"I don't doubt it. You've almost got that wall all patched up, and it looks beautiful!" She gestured to his handiwork and smirked knowingly. "I heard you can fix anything."

"Just about," he confirmed, gently and proudly patting the area beside it. "And once this wall is fixed, I'm going to build you a fence."

"That is unnecessary," Sesshoumaru inserted, nearly startling him with his insistent tone. The handyman was not used to strangers speaking to him with such confidence, or authority. "We do not require a fence."

Tadaaki was accustomed to following orders, and normally happy to do so, but he was momentarily conflicted by the opposing requests.

"Sorry, but those are the instructions I was given." Eagerly, he returned his smiling attention back to the much more pleasant young woman. "They tell me what to fix, and I go fix it. The guy who owns this hut wants to spruce it up for after you leave. I hope that isn't too soon, though."

Kagome easily found her way to smiling back at the flattering young man, but turned back to Sesshoumaru for confirmation. He hadn't given them a strict timeline, so they were kind of just waiting to go on his word. She assumed it would depend on how much longer it took Kirara to heal enough to travel safely. Luckily, cat country was where you wanted to be for the latest technology in neko medicine.

"We'll be here a few more days, right Yuta?"

Before he could answer, Kagome's second customer of the day arrived. This one had no dumplings, and no letter for that matter. He appeared hopeful, yet nervous as he approached the young woman in the hut.

After a brief introduction, he humbly implored with his request.

"They say you can read. May I assume then that you can write as well?"

"I sure can," she confirmed with a friendly grin. "You want me to write a letter for you?"

She approached the newcomer, and with her once again occupied, the men at her back dutifully returned to respective tasks in silence.

"Yes. My daughter lives on the other side of the mountains, and I haven't seen her in years." Sorrow was apparent in his gentle tone, and Kagome pouted sympathetically on his behalf. "I held hopes that if I can get her husband a letter, that he could read it to her. I just want to let her know that I am well, and that I think of her often."

"That's so sweet!" she gushed without shame. "Of course I'll write your letter. I just need something to write it on."

Her backpack had already been returned, inventoried, and restocked with supplies. But she was running low on paper. She would grab one of her pens, but if they had some parchment for her to use, that would be ideal.

"At once!" he responded happily, but he still had an air of nervousness about him. "I regret that I have nothing to offer you in payment. But I do know of a field nearby with the most beautiful flowers this time of year. Would you like me to pick them for you?"

Despite the hopeful tint to his language, Kagome brushed him off with the wave of her hand.

"Oh, that isn't necessary. Your village has already done so much! I'll do it free of charge."

She spun from him, and crouched to fumble with her pack, while the man seemed to freeze in momentary indecision.

"Are you certain?" he tried again. "A bouquet would certainly brighten your hut some."

The hut was pretty sparse; only furnished with the barest of comforts. But for a couple who had been sleeping in the woods more often than not, it would more than suffice.

"No, don't trouble yourself. We won't be here long anyway. Just go grab me the parchment and I'll get started."

Kagome didn't seem to notice the man's sudden dejected cadence, but he acquiesced with a bow and left to fetch her the paper. She smiled happily as she began digging for her pen.

"Beg your pardon, miko-sama." Tadaaki ventured closer to her as she busied herself in her bag.

"Kagome, please."

"Kagome," he corrected, and abandoned his work to approach her once again. "I know you are trying to be gracious, but perhaps you should allow him to pick you his flowers."

His attempts to gently persuade her seemed to get absorbed in her obliviousness, however, as she continued to rummage.

"That's okay, I don't need anything from him. I just want to help."

"I recognize that, and I find it commendable." The hint of admiration in his tone left nothing to doubt in his claim. "I believe your refusal, however, will hurt that man's pride."

Kagome scrunched her brow at his strange reasoning, and tilted her head slightly.

"Why?"

"A man likes to earn his keep," he proclaimed confidently. "A man with honor, at least. To accept any charity, particularly from a woman, makes him feel like he cannot support himself. Like he is incapable of providing, and therefor has no useful function. A man who cannot provide is not a man at all, at least he feels that way."

"That's silly," Kagome scoffed dismissively. "Just because I'm a woman, I'm not allowed to do anyone favors?"

At last, her elusive pen was located. She zipped her bag back up with haste, and spun back around to find Tadaaki standing much closer than she expected. It took her slightly off guard, but his apologetic smile and helpful demeanor put her instantly back at ease.

"I assure you; he would make the same offer to any man." Looking up at the taller male, Kagome finally began to consider what he was telling her. "It is just an extra blow to his pride to have nothing to offer a woman. To know she has no need of him."

"The boy is correct." Both were surprised to hear the stoic man in the corner speak up, and they turned to look at him. Aside from a few snarky comments, Sesshoumaru had hardly spoken all morning.

"A man who takes favors from women is pathetic, particularly if he gives nothing in return." He held eye contact with her for a brief moment to ensure she understood. Once assured of it, he returned his focus to the increasingly sharp edge of his blade. "If you wish to be kind, you must accept his gift. Meager and pathetic as it may be."

His snobby attitude earned another distasteful scowl, as did the likely accuracy of his assessment. So that's what this was about. Male pride.

No matter where she went or what she did, there seemed to be no escaping it.

"I agree with your husband," Tadaaki said presumptuously, and startled her right out of her lament. "I think you should accept them."

The scraping sounds in the corner of the room faltered briefly before resuming as if they hadn't. Kagome felt the blush heating her cheeks, and could barely look at the young man, let alone Sesshoumaru.

"He isn't my husband."

He wasn't. And they weren't pretending he was. But still, she immediately felt guilty for correcting him.

She supposed she couldn't fault the boy for assuming such a thing. Even though the pair had given no indication they were romantically involved, they were sharing this hut together. She knew how it must look. When he politely corrected his look of involuntary surprise, she worried what he might now think of her. But she was relieved when his features softened, and produced a shy smile to match her own.

"And you are mistaken." Sesshoumaru startled their attention back over to him once more as he again wedged himself into their conversation. "I am not suggesting she accept the flowers; I do not care. I am merely informing her of the kindest option, as that is the one she tends to favor. That is all."

The icy edge to his tone would have unsettled anyone else, but Kagome broke into a knowing smile. The effort he expended in insisting he didn't care was proof enough to her that he did. Kami forbid anyone suspect he was trying to be helpful.

"That does not surprise me. Kagome-sama seems very kind." She beamed at the compliment as he returned to his repair, just before her latest customer reappeared through the doorway.

The man returned with his paper, and now the shame in his downturned eyes made sense. She accepted when he handed it to her.

"You know, on second thought, this place really could use some flowers." She looked around disapprovingly, yet the corners of her mouth twitched. "You say you know where to get some?"

His expression brightened instantly, and Kagome's along with it.

"Oh, yes! And believe me, they are beautiful. I can get some to match your eyes."

"Wonderful!" she answered with a clap. "Why don't you run and get them first? I'd really like to have them before we start."

Placating the male ego often felt like humoring a child, and that realization made her want to laugh. But that would probably hurt his pride too, so she bit her cheek when his aura blazed with eager determination.

"Right away, miko-sama! I promise, it isn't far. I shall return quickly."

He excitedly made his way out the door, and Kagome flashed a thankful smile over to Tadaaki. He returned it, and got back to his repair. She moved to the low table to arrange a couple of cushions into what was appearing to become her work space, when the handyman's voice called softly across the room.

"They must be beautiful flowers indeed, if they truly match your eyes."

* * *

After writing the man's note, business slowed to a halt. Sure, the Tadaaki was nearly done with his repair, and Sesshoumaru was putting the finishing touches on his sword, but without any letters to read, Kagome was growing incredibly bored. She had about as much luck as usual drawing her stoic companion into idle chatter. She had a little more success with the handyman, but he was busy, and she felt bad bothering him. But when an idea struck her, she couldn't resist.

"You got any letters you want me to read?" she asked hopefully, and slid the book she was perusing aside. The man shook his head.

"No. Nobody ever writes to me." He threw his head over his shoulder to address her, and smirked at the charming sight she made. On her stomach, she had her chin in her hands and was kicking her legs up anxiously behind her like a child. He'd never seen a grown woman act this way; so carelessly secure, and unheeding of expectations or propriety. He wondered if all women outside of his village behaved this way. If so, he decided he should start traveling.

He didn't know how, but something told him she was far from typical.

"Well, you want me to write one? Maybe you can start some correspondence."

"That is very kind of you. And I would take you up on it, but I have nobody to write." Though traces of regret were detected in his tenor, it was subdued by his air of resigned acceptance that made this young-looking man sound wise beyond his years. "The only family I have is my sister and her husband, and they live right here. I've never been outside the village," he admitted, as if it were some shameful secret. "I'm not some exciting adventurer like you and your friends."

Even though he was obviously insecure about his lack of worldly experience, the way he seemed to accept his lot in life had confidence rolling off him in waves. At least to Kagome, anyway. There was something simple about him, but not in a bad way. He was uncomplicated, easy. He was a nice change of pace.

"Besides, what's the point of starting a correspondence if I can't read or write? Unless, of course, you plan on staying..." His unsubtle attempt to persuade her to stay was genuine, but teasing. He was well aware someone like her would not stay in this simple village any longer than necessary. They didn't get outsiders often, but when they did, they usually didn't stay long. People – especially humans – only traveled this far north with urgent matters to attend to.

"Unfortunately, I can't," she confirmed. "But how about this? How about I teach you to read?"

Her hopeful excitement was tempered a bit at the short laugh that escaped him.

"Thank you for the offer, but even you are not up to such a task. I am not smart enough to learn. The only thing I'm good for is fixing holes."

He seemed to find mirth in her suggestion, and simply resumed his task. But his self-deprecating declaration had sealed his fate.

"That isn't true," she insisted with a swell of determination. "I can tell you're really smart. And really sweet. I'd love to see the kind of things you would write if you had the chance. I bet you're deep."

He knew he was blushing, and avoided eye contact as a result.

"You're just being nice to me."

"No way! Come on, what's the harm? At least let me try it. What have you got to lose?"

"Nothing," he admitted, and managed to get his embarrassment under control. "But I have nothing to give, either. Remember what I told you? A man cannot accept kindness without offering something in return."

Kagome deflated, disappointed that the humblest man in the universe still had an ego to pamper.

"But it would be doing _me_ a favor," she insisted, then whined. "I'm _bored_. And you're almost done with your repair."

Hope fluttered in her chest as he appeared to think it over, but that apologetic smile's reappearance stifled it effectively.

"I would love nothing more, Kagome-sama." He gestured to his nearly complete chore. "But once this is done, I have a fence to build, remember?"

She slumped again in disappointment. She forgot how busy he was. No wonder he never learned to read; being in high demand probably kept his schedule pretty full. He would have to multi-task if he was ever going have the time.

The thought gave her an idea.

"That's it! I have always wanted to learn to build a fence!"

"You have?" he asked with mild incredulousness. He hadn't expected her to say that, and certainly not so enthusiastically.

"Yes. Let me watch you build that fence a few hours each day while I'm here. Then, we'll spend the rest of the day working on reading and writing together. It'll be fun!"

At the less than thrilled look she got in response; Kagome considered she may have gotten ahead of herself.

He didn't ask for her help; maybe she was being presumptuous. He was obviously very busy, and he probably didn't want to spend his free time doing homework. Just because she was bored, she shouldn't make him suffer. She should just make Sesshoumaru give her another kata lesson.

"Ah, what am I thinking? You probably don't want to spend all day hanging around with me. I'm sure you have other things to do. I'm sorry."

She reached back for her book with the intentions of leaving the poor guy alone, but before she found her place, his friendly voice met her ears.

"Actually, I'm surprisingly free."

Her head snapped in his direction in time to see the grin he leveled at her. Paired with the genuine warmth in his eyes, he made a comforting sight that instantly tempered her anxiety.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah. I know, it's hard to believe a guy like me doesn't have everyone fighting over his company." He smirked at his joke, and she easily returned it. "But you won't be here long. We have to make the most of it."

She excitedly pushed herself up onto her knees. The handyman found himself much more content with her palpable giddiness over her previous disappointment, and the fact that he had caused it.

"Great! We'll begin once you are done with the wall, and then we can start the fence tomorrow. What do you say?"

She was so eager to help him, and Tadaaki – a people-pleaser to his core – was not inclined to stop her. So, brandishing a grin that exposed his molars, he acquiesced with little difficulty.

"That sounds wonderful."

Kagome scrambled to her backpack to get a few supplies ready for his first lesson, but she was so engrossed in her task that she didn't hear Sesshoumaru rise or make his way over.

In fact, it wasn't until she saw his leather boots glide in and out of her periphery that she registered he was leaving.

He'd sheathed what must be now an incredibly sharp sword, and wore it at his hip as he made his way to the door.

"Where are you going?" she demanded at his retreating back. He didn't deign to turn around.

"Out."

And then he was gone.

She pondered his exit a moment, before finally shrugging it off.

Sesshoumaru probably had a lot to do before they stormed the compound, and it wasn't like him to overshare. She supposed he didn't owe her any explanations.

* * *

By dinner time that evening, the hole in the wall was fixed, and Tadaaki had his first reading lessons. He was actually a really fast learner, and though she knew she wouldn't be in the village long enough to make him a pro, Kagome was sure she would at least get him off to a very good start.

'I just hope he sticks with it.'

But they had to call it a day when his sister came by the hut with her husband. They always came to pick him up from his job each day so they could all eat dinner together.

They were a very nice young couple, just a little older than she was. But she couldn't truly tell which sibling was older, as they both looked to be around twenty.

What was intended to be a quick introduction ended up turning into a long and lively conversation on the front porch. Kagome liked these people. They were very nice, and surprisingly funny. She couldn't remember the last time she laughed this much, and she instantly felt quite comfortable in their company.

She could see herself having friends like these if she ever went to college. They were more mature than her high school friends, but still silly and fun. They were a tight knit family, too. Apparently, their parents died when they were very young, so they were raised on the kindness of the village. Luckily, this just happened to be the kindest village Kagome had ever come across.

"He built this porch too, you know?" his sister gloated, lifting her hand to stroke the smooth wood of the banister. Kagome nodded approvingly, with an impressed pucker of her lips.

"I believe it. It definitely _screams_ quality," she offered generously as she admired his work. "Your brother is a very talented guy."

He smiled at the praise, and looked away bashfully before returning a thankful gaze to her. His sister put a hand on his shoulder, patting first then gripping it to give a playful shake.

"He is. He's always been good at that stuff. Lucky for us, nothing around here stays broken for very long, thanks to this guy."

Obviously uncomfortable with the compliments, Tadaaki was quick to deflect the attention.

"Well, I think we're lucky that my sister happens to be the best cook in the village." The friendly woman laughed.

"I'm not-"

"Yes you are!" he insisted, shutting down any protests immediately. "Kagome, you have to try her cooking. It is the best."

"Why don't you have dinner with us?" her husband suggested, earning an excited rumbling at his idea. Tadaaki's sister agreed.

"Yes, join us Kagome."

Feeling a bit on the spot, she couldn't help but be flattered by the hopeful looks on their faces. She was tempted to agree, and not just to be polite.

"Oh, that is very nice of you, but I need to meet my friends." They expressed their disappointment, making her feel a bit guilty. But she wasn't going to blow off her friends for some people she just met. "We were all supposed to eat together. Raincheck?"

"It's going to rain?" The three of them looked up to study the clouds, causing Kagome to giggle.

"No, it means we should do it later."

"Okay, raincheck it is then." Tadaaki held her gaze meaningfully, stepping close enough to touch. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Kagome nodded, and that seemed to satisfy him.

"I will be here." It wasn't like she had anywhere else to be.

With that promise, her new acquaintances finally left to go make their dinner.

Alone again, Kagome huffed as she reentered the empty hut. She was short one former daiyoukai for the moment, but minus one hole in the wall as well. At least that was something.

A violent rumble in her stomach had her wishing she'd taken the siblings up on their offer. She smiled wistfully as she recalled their playful banter. They were just like her and Sota, with a lot less bickering and taunting. She missed her family...

Shaking herself, she prepared to leave and find Inuyasha, and just hoped he caught something good for dinner.

* * *

He was starting to get the hang of it.

The weight of his new sword, the speed his body could achieve... It had taken some practice, but the afternoon he'd spent testing his weapon and going through his formations ad nauseum had Sesshoumaru feeling confident in his ability to hold his own.

He would never be as quick or as strong or as powerful as he was in his demon form. Not even close. But at least he had become familiar enough with his human body and its limitations to accurately predict his capabilities.

When that tiger clan had found him that day, he'd barely had any time to appraise his new skill set before he was forced to test its mettle. Now, after several weeks of painstaking trials and training, he could claim to have about as much mastery as he was going to get. He was ready.

Pleased with his progress, he returned to his hut with hopes that the annoying young repairman was as good as he claimed to be and had finished his task. He knew he would be returning regardless, but at least when he moved on to the fence, he would be out of his room and hopefully his hearing range as well.

As he approached, however, the light sounds of a familiar laugh carried on the breeze and graced his eardrums with its usual reprieve. It only lasted a moment though, as the sound mingled, and was muddled by another set of laughter that was much less pleasing.

He stopped when the porch came into view, and to his irritation, his suspicions were confirmed. Not only was their overly friendly guest still there, but it looked like he had multiplied.

He was worried for a moment. The miko was overfriendly herself, and a very real threat loomed that she had volunteered him – or at the very least, herself – to participate in some form of further social interaction, or another. He had no interest in making friends, or enduring conversations. He had a raid to plan, and anything not pertaining to that was an unnecessary distraction.

He remained out of sight, straining his dulled human hearing to try and get an inkling of what the talkative group had conspired. He was unsuccessful, however, as muffled mumblings and periodic laughter was all he could make out at that distance, and approaching any closer would give away his presence, and likely rope him into whatever was going on.

He considered simply emerging, and calmly yet forcefully insisting everyone get out of his hut – save for Kagome, of course – but before he took his intended step, he gave himself pause.

He couldn't hear them, but he could see perfectly clear. He could make out Kagome's soft features, and relaxed posture. He hadn't seen her look like that in a very long time.

She looked so terribly... normal. She looked happy. The former was something he was unaware she could even achieve, but the latter was something he'd seen glimpses of, but it was becoming more of a rarity as of late.

He never considered the type of life, the type of lifestyle most humans were cursed with was anything that would interest her. Someone with her power and ambition could not possibly be satisfied drudging around in such an unremarkable existence. At least, that's what he thought.

But then he remembered, she hadn't chosen the hectic, yet exciting life she currently led. Duty after duty had chiseled the path she traversed, and guilt gnawed him raw in knowing it was for him she had embarked on the dangerous mission at present.

Were it not for that, what would she chose for herself, he wondered? When all was said and done, and her obligations to the universe were fulfilled, what did Kagome want? Looking at her now, seeing her converse and naturally blend and thrive with her own kind, he wondered if she might enjoy a nice, quiet albeit boring existence after all. She will have earned it, that's for certain.

He supposed there could be far worse things than living a harmless, simple life. It wasn't for him, but he could not fault her for it.

Her laughter rang out again, and the sound that used to soothe him so effortlessly caused a cramping in his sternum that he could not identify. He watched the woman he had gotten to know so well over the last few weeks, a woman so accepting and so easily accepted, welcomed with open arms into the community, and appear quite comfortable to be there. He just watched her a moment more before coming to a decision, and soundlessly turned on his heel and left.

* * *

She'd given up on waiting for Sesshoumaru, as hunger got her out of the hut and over to the home Inuyasha and Sango were residing in. He was a smart guy; he'd figure it out.

She was delighted to find upon her arrival that the hanyou had already hunted down dinner, and Sango was dutifully preparing it out back with their hostess.

The young woman putting them up was very beautiful and sweet. Add apparently well-to-do to the list, and Kagome was surprised she appeared to be unattached and alone.

She certainly didn't seem to have an aversion to company, as the girl was practically tripping over herself to see to everyone's comfort. Kagome thanked her profusely as she welcomed her into her lovely home, and made some tea for her and Inuyasha to enjoy in the main room while the other women prepared dinner together.

The miko was starting to get accustomed to the refreshingly friendly tendencies of this village, but something in that woman's behavior did catch her eye.

When she went to fill Inuyasha's cup for him, the shy smile that accompanied was returned in kind. Blushes were exchanged as well, and the normally brazen half demon seemed to be willfully avoiding her gaze. Kagome could tell that something was off, maybe just because she hadn't seen much of him the last couple of days. When the homeowner left them to chat alone, she started to dig.

"That girl you're staying with seems really nice," Kagome began casually, bringing the teacup to her lips.

Inuyasha answered quickly, and mimicked the action.

"Yeah, she is."

Though not much different than his brother in his regard for idle chatter, Inuyasha was being especially untalkative. The silence between them stretched out as they sipped their drinks, and gave Kagome time to concoct a few wild theories. Finally, she flung one at him with a taunting smile.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say she has a crush on you."

She was just trying to tease him a little bit, maybe make him blush in that cute way he does. But the panic in his shifty eyes was suspect, and seemed indicative of some kind of guilt. Of what, however, she was uncertain.

Rather than guess, and lacking the patience for it, she simply called him out.

"Inuyasha, is something going on? You're acting really weird."

"You're weird," he threw back immediately, still refusing to meet her accusatory gaze.

He wasn't wrong, but that was hardly the issue here.

"And defensive. Did something happen with her?"

She hated to think he would mess around on Sango. After all the love he'd professed having for her, she would be very disappointed in her friend for doing something like that. He didn't have the best track record, what with Kikyo and all. But she held hope that he'd grown up since then, and sneaking around and commitment issues were behind him.

The way he slumped his shoulders in defeated resignation did not bode well, however.

"Keh, when'd you get so damn perceptive?" he asked regretfully, and put down his tea. Kagome did the same, as this required her whole body to express her indignation.

"So something did happen! Did you kiss her?" she demanded, already feeling her anger bubbling on behalf of her other good friend... and womankind. His muttered admission did not temper it in the slightest.

"It was a lot more than that."

"Inuyasha!" she admonished incredulously, but made efforts to keep her voice low. "Did you sleep with that girl?"

His silence said it all. The guilty look on his face was just the cherry on top.

Kagome didn't know what upset her more; the fact that her best friend was still up to his old shameful tricks, or that he had now placed her in the uncomfortable position of either keeping, or exposing his terrible secret. She was livid.

"How could you? How could you do that to Sango?"

"I didn't do it to Sango," he insisted, far less apologetic than he should be sounding, she decided. "I did it... with her."

Her mind was still reeling with outrage, so it took a good few seconds to register what he said. When she did, however, she was even more puzzled, and agitated.

"What?"

"That girl isn't like most girls," he tried tactfully to explain. It didn't come easy to him, so he was struggling to articulate himself. Luckily, Kagome was patient. "In that, she likes mostly girls."

Realization dawned as she finally caught on to what he was trying to say, but she was still in the dark as to the implications. Recognizing this, Inuyasha continued his explanation.

"Sango was asking her if she had a boyfriend, and she said she never had one, on account of that she likes to be with girls instead. But she said she was curious about it." Kagome watched in mild fascination as her hanyou friend became increasingly uncomfortable. Sitting by silently, she was willing to let him squirm. "Well, then, Sango told her about how she had always been curious about being with a girl."

Wait, what? She had?! Sango had never told her that.

Seeing his friend completely captivated, Inuyasha reclaimed his teacup and leaned back in his seat.

"We had a few drinks, and one thing led to another..."

That appeared to be all he was willing to say, but it was all he needed to.

"Are you saying you guys had a threesome?"

Again, his silence was enough of an answer, and the awkward smirk that accompanied was simply a bonus.

Kagome's jaw hung attractively from its hinge, and now her cheeks were red from his outrageous confession.

"Oh my god!" Her blush spread down her neck, and disappeared into her clothes. She picked up her tea to distract her from her embarrassment, but it was not enough to stifle her curiosity. "Have you ever done something like that before?"

Even though she used to have a crush on him, she never saw the half demon that way. She knew he had some experience, but always considered him to be more on the wholesome side. Perhaps she was projecting.

But he somewhat confirmed her assumptions.

"Never. Never even thought about it." The light chuckle he indulged in surprised her further. He was a bit more comfortable with this topic than she would have expected. Definitely more comfortable than she was. But she supposed it shouldn't, considering what else he was apparently comfortable with.

If she was polite, she would just let the matter drop. But these were her best friends and... she was curious.

"How was it? I mean, what was it like?" Her blush deepened at the personal question, and he couldn't help but smile at her modesty. He was well aware he was blowing his inexperienced friend's mind. But he was willing to indulge her, and answered as delicately as possible.

"It was strange... at first," he easily admitted to the enraptured young woman. "Then, it ended up being pretty fun."

"Was it..." she paused, trying to think of how to ask it. "was everybody okay with it?"

She could easily see things getting uncomfortable after participating in such a thing. What might sound fun during a night of drinking could certainly give way to regret come daybreak. But maybe she was just projecting again.

"More than okay," he said with a smile. "I think we're going to do it again."

Shocked into silence for a moment, she managed an uncomfortable laugh. It was the last thing she thought she would hear, and she didn't know what to say.

"Wow," she finally settled on, even less comfortable in the expectant silence they sat in. "That's not what I was expecting."

"Me either, trust me." When he laughed this time, she joined him, but with slightly less discomfort than before.

Slowly, the tension between them eased. She supposed she was relieved that he wasn't messing around. And it was his life. It wasn't something she would choose for herself, but to each his own. Still, despite her inexperience, she felt inclined to offer some advice.

"Just, be careful. That sort of thing... it can lead to jealousy. I'd just hate to see your relationship suffer as a result."

He smiled at her concern, but set to allay her fears.

"Sango said she would be okay with it. It was more her idea anyway."

"Are you okay with it?" she pried. "It's okay if you aren't, you just need to be honest."

She could see how a guy might be too ashamed to refuse such a thing. But regardless of sex, it had to be difficult to watch the one you love being intimate with someone else. Just because it was another woman, it didn't mean he had to like it.

"I'm okay with it," he assured her. "But thanks for checking."

She smiled in response, but another long, awkward silence followed. Desperate to change the subject, Kagome finally broke it when something suddenly occurred to her.

"Anyway, have you seen Sesshoumaru? He's going to miss dinner."

He'd been gone for hours at this point, and she was starting to wonder what he was up to.

"He left already."

Kagome froze, stranding her teacup halfway to her mouth, before placing it back down onto the table in front of her. She watched Inuyasha finish his own, and place the empty cup beside hers.

"He left?"

Leaning back with his hands folded behind his head, the hanyou shrugged.

"Yeah, just a little bit ago." At the bewildered look on her face, something occurred to him, and he scrunched his brows at her. "He didn't tell you?"

"No!" she informed him. "Where did he go?"

Another causal shrug from him caused her irritation to bolster.

"Wouldn't say."

"He wouldn't say?" she repeated incredulously, starting to feel a bit like a parrot. "Didn't that seem strange to you?"

Actually, it probably didn't. It was pretty on-brand, as a matter of fact. It didn't make it any less annoying, however. And for some reason, somewhat hurtful.

"You know how he is, tight-lipped bastard. Just said he was going out. I thought for sure he would have told you."

True, Sesshoumaru answered to no one, and it was not often he offered explanations. But with how close he and Kagome had seemed to become lately, the half breed just expected they kept tabs on each other.

From the change in Kagome's demeanor, he could tell she thought so too. Being left out of the loop like this had her feeling justifiably offended, at least, he thought she was.

"Did he say when he was coming back?" she asked timidly, yet with thinly veiled hope.

"Said it might be a few days." He was wishing now that he had pressed for more information, but he and his brother didn't have that kind of relationship. Live and let live was as good as it got, and a vast improvement from how it used to be between them. Maybe it shouldn't be, though. They were pack now, if only for the time being. And pack should be aware of each other's whereabouts.

But his disinterest in Sesshoumaru's schedule had less to do with simply not caring. It was just... it was Sesshoumaru. He did what he wanted, and knew what he was doing. And, he handled himself just fine... at least he used to. It was so easy to forget how weak and vulnerable he now was, add to it his over inflated self-confidence, and propensity to rub people the wrong way... he really should keep a better eye on him.

"A few days?! Where could he be going? And why wouldn't he tell us?" She was beginning to border on panic as she lost her composure. He hadn't left her side for more than a few hours since joining their little group, and not at all since busting them out of prison. She found the prospect troubling, and she wasn't entirely sure why.

"I'm sure he has his reasons," Inuyasha justified defensively. "He's probably staking out the compound or something. He likes to be prepared for everything."

The rational assumption relaxed Kagome quite a bit. That would be perfectly reasonable, and made complete sense. That's why they were here, after all. Once they left this village, they likely had an epic battle on their hands, and that kind of thing was right up Sesshoumaru's alley.

He was almost certainly making sure they had everything in order to ensure their success. He would leave nothing to chance. She just wished he would have told her, instead of making her worry. Instead of taking everything on himself, maybe they could have helped him. Maybe she could have. Was he still so resistant to that idea even now? Even after everything they'd been through?

She was disappointed. She thought they were more than that. The possibility that she was wrong caused knots to form in her stomach.

"I guess you're right," she conceded nonetheless. "But he should have told us. This is our mission too. He's so damn stubborn."

Inuyasha wouldn't argue with that, but he also had nothing to add. She folded her arms in front of her chest in an act that both expressed her displeasure, and comforted her.

"He shouldn't have gone alone," she finally lamented, wanting to make her position on the matter completely clear. It was, as well as her concern for the man she had grown to care for over the last few weeks, far more than she, or anyone would have predicted.

Inuyasha softened his tone empathetically, and tried to reassure her.

"I'm sure he'll be fine. Its Sesshoumaru, remember?"

The confident reminder actually comforted her some, and she calmed down a bit more. They shared a friendly smile, until it was interrupted by Sango, and their host.

"Dinner's ready, guys! Come and get it."

* * *

It was unsurprising that Miroku was absent during mealtime. Like a soldier on shore leave, whenever they docked into a town in between the legs of their mission, he immediately found another set of legs to dock between, and stayed there as long as possible. The widow he'd taken up with this time must really be a looker, because Kagome hadn't seen trace of the monk since the warm reception he'd given her upon arrival. He usually tried to sow his oats with as many women as he could, but from what she'd heard, he hadn't left this woman's side – or house, for that matter – for as long as he'd been here.

But after a lovely meal, and some therapeutic Kirara cuddling time, Sango managed to steal her away to the hot springs for a much-needed bath. The girl time it afforded was also long-overdue, and it could not have come at a better time.

"So, how's it going with Inuyasha?"

Kagome studied her friend across from her on the other side of the spring. Like her, she was reclined against the ledge so that the warm, soothing water swallowed her up to the chin. Except her eyes were closed in blissful relaxation, and now, Kagome could fathom why.

"Good," was her simple answer, but the miko was not going to let her off that easy.

"Just good?" she prompted, and finally earned Sango's attention. She opened her eyes warily, and lifted her head to meet her curious gaze.

"You said you didn't want to hear about it," the slayer reminded her, and she had been right. It wasn't terribly long ago that Kagome clearly requested she not be included in any mushy conversation regarding the boy she thought she was in love with. It was still too raw, still hurt too much to hear about his fabulous new relationship, and her best girlfriend's place in it. But things had changed.

She wasn't sure at which point the pain of his rejection had begun to ebb, all she knew was that it had, and talking about it was no longer as offensive as she'd perceived it prior. Come to think about it, it didn't seem to offend her at all.

And in light of certain new developments, she was actually quite eager to hear about it.

"Well, now I do." The nonchalant assurance made Sango regard her suspiciously. But after a moment, she decided she believed her good friend. She wanted to believe her, after all. She had really missed the outlet she used to have in Kagome, and was eager to get things back online.

"It's going really good," she finally admitted, as a genuine smile spread across her features. "It's hard to be apart so much, but the time we get to spend together is really amazing. I love him."

When Kagome smiled in return, she meant it. Not long ago, such a confession would cut right through her like a hot knife through butter. But now, all she felt was pleasure, and relief that the people she cared about the most were finally, truly happy.

That knowledge, along with the perfect water, had every tense muscle in Kagome's body slacken and release.

"That's great. I'm really happy for you. I mean that."

"Thank you." Sango was relieved too. The one dark cloud looming over her new relationship was the pain she knew it was causing her friend. The last thing she wanted was to hurt Kagome, and it made her question her own morality to take Inuyasha right out from under her, and openly date him right in front of her.

It put a sour note on things, and it alleviated that strain to see that the miko was finally getting over what she may have perceived as an affront.

"He told me about the village girl." A sly grin stole her innocent countenance. "A three way? Really?"

"He told you?" Sango immediately flushed, sufficiently mortified. Her incredulity was giving way to anger, so Kagome stepped in to save her hanyou friend from his girlfriend's wrath.

"Well, I kind of figured it out. You know how easy he is to read." She didn't exactly have to twist his arm, but it wasn't like he brought it up unprompted. "How did that happen?"

Sango's embarrassment tempered slightly, until she eventually relented. Kagome already knew, so there was no point in denying it.

"I don't know," she admitted awkwardly. "We were having a few drinks, and the next thing you know we started talking about sex. One thing led to another, and..."

'Okay, so his story checks out.'

It was still so bizarre. She had no idea Sango had ever wanted to try being with another woman. They had talked about sex on several occasions, and even occasionally consumed a few drinks while doing so. She wondered if experimenting with her had ever crossed her mind, and if so, what had stopped her?

Was she simply waiting for an invitation? Or was their friendship too important to risk doing something like that? After they left this village, they were probably never going to see that girl again, so there wasn't really much to lose.

Then again, maybe the miko just wasn't her type. Either way, she would never look at Sango the same way again. Not that it bothered her, or made their hot spring time together much weirder.

"Wow. I never would have imagined you guys doing something like that. Have you ever done anything like that before?"

Inuyasha said he hadn't, but what about Sango? She had been with Miroku, who was notoriously, a pretty experimental guy. And from what she told her, Sango's time growing up in the slayer village had gotten pretty rowdy. But she shook her head.

"No. But I've thought about the possibility a couple of times."

Her shy smile relayed that Sango was a little worried how this news would be received. She didn't want Kagome to start feeling uncomfortable around her, or distance herself.

Luckily, the young woman didn't seem terribly offended. If anything, she was simply curious.

"How was it?"

"It was different," she conceded, but a clandestine smile persisted. "And exciting. Nobody knows a woman's body like another woman." Kagome's eyebrows rose slightly at the confession. "And I wasn't her first woman, but she'd never been with a man before. It was learning experience, for sure."

Kagome shook her head. She supposed she could understand wanting to experiment with another woman, just to try. It was the sharing her boyfriend part that she couldn't wrap her mind around, couldn't get behind.

"I couldn't do it," she informed her confidently. Sango raised a brow.

"How do you know?"

"I guess I don't," she admitted honestly, after a moment's pause. "But I think I would be too jealous. Watching another woman touching my man... I think it would make me crazy."

A knowing smile curved Sango's lips deviously upward, and she pinned her with a paralyzing glare.

"So you want Sesshoumaru all to yourself?"

She laughed with Kagome appeared to choke on nothing, except for maybe a coherent response to the accusation.

"What are you talking about?" she demanded innocently, but the slayer wasn't buying it.

Kagome hadn't admitted to harboring any feelings for Inuyasha's older brother, maybe not even to herself. But it was kind of the unspoken consensus in the pack that something was going on there. It wasn't exactly clear, but one would have to be blind not to see how the pair had begun to seamlessly gravitate toward each other.

It happened so slowly that it took a moment to notice. But then one day, it was impossible to ignore.

For Sango, it was the day on the bridge that brought those undeclared feelings to light. The way he'd chased after her when she ran... After that, so many things began clicking into place.

"So you're still going to sit there and deny it? What's going on between you two?"

The last time Sango accused Kagome of wanting Sesshoumaru, she was met with vehement protests to the contrary. Actually, the girl seemed downright offended. And truthfully, the accusation didn't really have any teeth, at the time. It was a convenient excuse to vilify the miko for her unappreciated interference, and she had been blinded by rage when she leveled it.

But it was unclear if she was just a broken clock – accidentally right – even if Kagome herself wasn't aware of her feelings at the time. At the very least, she was prophetic.

At the troubled look on the young woman's face, it appeared Kagome didn't know much more than she did. At least she finally relented, and dropped the façade.

"I don't know," she admitted honestly, and sunk a bit deeper into the heated pool.

"Have you guys...?" She let the question hang between them, and had to bite her cheek to keep from laughing when the miko's eyes grew wide in realization.

"No!" she insisted, but almost a little too forcefully. Sango couldn't contain her amusement as she watched red cheeks get redder, and leaned in conspiratorially.

"Do you want to?"

Kagome intended to deny it, she really did. But such a bold-faced lie, especially after what her friend just admitted to, seemed inappropriate. Not to mention impossible. She just couldn't muster it.

Her silence spoke for her, and Sango tried to be supportive.

"There's nothing to be ashamed about. He's very handsome. And we can all see how much he cares about you. Don't you think so?"

She knew how modest Kagome was about the topic, and wanted to relay to her that at her age, it was perfectly normal and acceptable to start acting on her desires. Actually, it was to be expected.

For some reason, she felt the need to deny and repress herself to an unhealthy degree.

"I know he cares about me." Yes, she was quite confident in that. "And I care about him too."

"So what's the problem? Still think he's a jerk?"

"No." Kagome paused, and considered it a little longer. "I mean, he can be. But for the most part, he's been nothing but sweet to me. He's really changed."

Despite his prickly demeanor, it would be totally false and unfair to label him so broadly as simply a jerk. He's more than earned an amendment to that description. Particularly lately.

"That much is clear," Sango agreed. "And he's very protective of you. I mean, what he did on the bridge..." The air turned cold momentarily as they both recalled that day, before quickly shaking it off. "and Inuyasha told me about how he rescued you from that prison."

"I know. He's amazing." Sango smiled at the dreamy look she produced then. But just as quickly, it was gone, and Kagome became somber again. "But just because he's protective, it doesn't mean... I mean, Inuyasha is protective of me too."

Oh, right. Suddenly, her reluctance was making much more sense to Sango.

She knew the way Inuyasha handled the soft-hearted woman was far from ideal. She would go as far as saying it was regrettable. But it shouldn't be enough to damage her for other men who intended to do right by her.

She would concede, the wounds were still a bit fresh. And of all the men to heal those scars – to take her mind off of the man who caused them – his blood, his brother, would be a challenging choice.

"I know Inuyasha hurt you," she admitted gravely, unwilling to deny her lover's role in her heartache. The way Kagome grimaced left no room for argument. "but that doesn't mean his brother is going to too. You should know more than anyone not to compare people just because they share blood... or a soul."

"It's not that," she quickly refuted, not entirely pleased at what was implied, though she wasn't sure she could exactly deny it. "We've talked about it."

"And?"

Kagome pursed her lips, and considered how to answer. As a form of nervous distraction, she began running her fingers through the warm water in front of her, feeling it glide smoothly against her skin.

"Do you and Inuyasha ever talk about the future?"

"Like, after the mission?" Sango asked, brow furrowed as she requested clarification.

"Like, about being together? Long term plans? A future."

"No," she answered simply, quickly.

"You don't?"

"Not really. We're just trying to get through one day at a time. We just enjoy each moment we can together."

She guessed that coincided with what Sango had told her before, but things still didn't add up.

"But don't you want more? I mean, you wanted a future with Miroku at one point. You wanted to get married."

"And see how that worked out," she responded flatly, earning a sheepish smile from the younger woman. "But I guess I'm not worried about it, because I know he loves me. I'm the only one he wants, and I know that's how he wants it to stay."

"I don't have that kind of confidence with Sesshoumaru," she said sulkily, brooding as she deflated deeper into the water's depths. "I don't even know where we stand. Whenever it seems like we're getting closer, he pulls back."

It wasn't like he hadn't made himself clear, but it wasn't like she hadn't given him chances. If he'd wanted to take things farther with her, he certainly could have seen to it by now.

There was something he was waiting for, and she didn't know if she could give it to him.

His patience was commendable, and irritating.

"Like by the river, things were started to get pretty heated." Sango grinned at the admission, and instantly wanted to hear more about it. "But ever since we got here, he's cooled off. He didn't even tell me he was leaving. I had to hear it from Inuyasha that he took off, and I don't know where he went, or when he's coming back. How am I supposed to interpret that?"

She sighed, wallowing anew at the reminder of his recent desertion.

"I think he just wants to be friends, and I don't want to make another mistake like I did with Inuyasha."

No. Never again would she blind herself, trick herself into thinking something was there when it wasn't. She would never get her hopes up like that again, because it just hurt too much to be let down.

But speaking of shedding her immature behavior, she realized she was already repeating those habits with her childish attitude. She needed to break herself from it immediately.

"And he's right. He's got bigger things to worry about right now. It isn't fair for me to be pressing him for any kind of relationship. He needs to focus on finding Rin. That's probably what he's out doing, and here I am being jealous. After all he's done for me. I'm being selfish."

Sango couldn't exactly argue with her assessment, but to be honest, she was much more eager to zero in on another juicy topic while she still had the chance.

"So, what did happen by the river?"

When Kagome blushed again, Sango knew she's hit gold.

"How far have you guys gone?" she pressed further. "Tell me you've at least kissed him."

"We've kissed," she shyly confirmed. "A few times."

That was a relief, and not nothing for her bashful friend. And in truth, it was just as she had suspected.

"What else?"

Apprehensive at first about answering, Sango's expectant expression eventually proved persuasive. Fair was fair, she supposed.

"He's... touched me." Kagome paused, unsure how to describe it without coming off terribly graphic or crude.

"Intimately."

"Have you touched him?" the slayer immediately countered, fully aware to what she was referring.

Kagome was very glad to be in the hot water at the moment, as it excused her flushed skin perfectly.

That was why the hot springs was the place for discussing such things.

"Not exactly. I mean, I've _felt_ him." And not just in the cave. There had been more than one occasion where Sesshoumaru had given her more than enough proof that he indeed found her desirable. She'd yet to act so boldly as to relieve him of it. And, considering what he'd done for her, perhaps that was poor etiquette. Maybe if he'd quit disappearing...

"He's definitely not lacking in that department," Sango proclaimed confidently, and Kagome groaned at the reminder.

"Oh, god. I forgot you've seen it."

She'd successfully pushed that particular hot spring incident out of her mind until now. With the irrational jealousy it inspired, she wished it had stayed there.

She was assured that nothing noteworthy had occurred, even though they had both been naked. But she forced herself to acknowledge that it didn't matter, as she was not even a prospect for him at the time. Nor he, her.

That was the night Sango had approached Inuyasha, and she was trying to remember that.

Sango seemed to catch on to her good friend's displeasure, but refused to nurture it in the slightest. She had done nothing wrong that night, even though her attitude towards Kagome back then was less than commendable.

"Don't be too mad, I was there first," she reminded her instead with an admonishing smirk. "And back then, you swore you didn't want him."

"I didn't," the miko insisted as she wrinkled her nose a bit. "Not back then."

"I know." Sango's features softened until they turned regretful. That was not her finest hour, and almost ruined her best friendship forever. She felt lucky Kagome was so forgiving, and just hoped she truly was forgiven. "I'm sorry about that whole thing. If it's any consolation, I have no interest in him anymore. And he never had any real interest in me."

She knew what she was. A means to an end for him at worst, and perhaps a mild curiosity at best. Either way, she was simply there, and shameless about her momentary desire for him – or any attractive man who was not Miroku at the time. And in that same vein, she could have been anyone at all, and it probably wouldn't have mattered to him.

It made his attraction to Kagome all the more substantive. Though she was sure he wouldn't oppose it, he was obviously interested in more than just a mindless rut with her. Which was good, because if he were, he was certainly barking up the wrong tree.

"He was interested enough to let you see... it." Kagome was really trying not to sound pouty as she pointed that out to her. Sango caught on to her insecurity, however, she thought she knew how to relieve it. It would just take disclosing something about Sesshoumaru she'd had too much class – and self-preservation – to mention until now.

But if it swayed Kagome to him, she figured he couldn't get too mad about it. At least, she hoped not.

"Yeah, but not for long." At the miko's confused look, Sango elaborated. "When it came time to get down to business, he couldn't keep it up."

"What?" she asked in honest surprise.

Of what she'd seen of the former dog demon, it seemed impossible to imagine his lust to ever be inaccessible. Sure, he'd employed impressive restraint at times. But when he had been ready to go, it looked like it physically pained him to deny himself, and her.

But Sango insisted otherwise.

"Yeah. He tried to blame it on me, too." She could laugh about it now, but she remembered how hurtful, and humiliating it was for him to outright declare she was not attractive enough to maintain his... interest. But she'd come to realize that was ridiculous. Whatever problems he was dealing with, that was all on him.

She decided to let it slide because of his help in getting her over to his brother. In fact, if he had gone through with it, it was entirely possible that Inuyasha would not have been able to have a relationship with her. At the very least, it would have damaged him. She was glad he couldn't do it. But still...

"He really was a jerk back then," Sango freely opined. And though she would get no refute from her bathing companion, she had to give credit where credit was due. She smiled wickedly as she recalled the night in question. "But at least he was a jerk with a big cock."

"I don't really have anything to compare it to," Kagome admitted, not entirely thrilled that her friend had an educated opinion on the matter. But Sango seemed bent on singing the man's praises, perhaps as recompense for sharing the unflattering details of their private moment.

"Well, trust me. If you don't end up with him, don't expect most guys you meet to be so blessed."

"Is he bigger than Inuyasha?" she pried, and smirked at obviously catching the woman off guard. She refused to bite, but her lack of response was telling.

"I'm not touching that one," she said, and waved the schoolgirl off dismissively.

Kagome arched a condemning eyebrow, but her amusement was clear.

"If only you said that to him in the hot spring."

A wave of giggling made its rounds as they splashed each other playfully with the warm, soothing water that seemed to help melt away their problems. Well, at least the more superficial of them, and that was good enough for now.

It was nice to laugh together again, and both felt a weight lift from their shoulders and hearts at the unspoken knowledge that, like Kirara, their relationship was on the mend.

It would likely never be the same as it was, but that wasn't a bad thing. As they matured, their friendship would too, and hopefully, like them, grow into something stronger, and more powerful than it was before.

"So anyway, come on. Tell me about the river..."

* * *

"You're doing great!" Kagome announced excitedly. "I'm starting to think you could read all along. Are you sure you've never learned?"

There was little need to embellish as she bestowed her pupil with praise. It had only been a couple of days, but Tadaaki was a quick learner. He'd gotten the letters down in no time, and was already reading pages from the book she'd brought from the future.

Sure, it was a children's book - one she always brought along in case there were ever any scared or unoccupied children to placate – but still, his progress was amazing. And she wished she could take credit for the man's rapid advancement, but it was clear Tadaaki was simply a natural. It didn't hurt that he seemed to have no problems paying rapt attention, and followed instructions beautifully.

"I swear! I guess I must have picked up more than I realized." He smiled down at the woman who sat beside him on the porch he'd built, and looked at her with admiration as she gathered up the supplies they had used when practicing to write. She was still running low on paper, but decided that this was more than a worthy use for it. "I think you are just a great teacher. Are you sure you've never taught anyone to read before?"

With all of her things together in a neat pile beside her, Kagome wrapped her arms around her bent knees and turned the other way to face him. As always, she had his complete attention, and his warm, non-threatening demeanor gave her hut a calming serenity she hadn't felt since she'd left home. Her real home – or, at least, her original one – in the future.

"I started to teach Shippo, but then he went away to kitsune school." She was both happy and sad to be reminded of her troublesome little kit. It had been so long...

"But he was a more difficult student," she admitted. "He was much more interested in playing games than learning to read. I hope he is still keeping with it, though."

He watched her lose herself to memories, as she was wont to do, and could only smile in amazement.

"I still can't believe you took in a youkai child."

"Why not?" she demanded with a shrug. "He needs a family, just like any human boy."

"I mean no offense," he insisted quickly, wanting to assure her that he harbored no prejudices. "I like your friends." He watched as she smoothed the wrinkles in her skirt, and absentmindedly scratched the back of his head as he thought about the many demons he'd encountered over the years. "I've worked for a few demons who were okay guys. But adopting one? Most humans wouldn't do that."

"Well, I'm not like most humans," Kagome countered. Her taunting, confident smile dared him to challenge her claim. Of course, he would not. Instead, he softly relaxed his muscles and expanded his genuine smile even further.

"I am perfectly aware of that. I've never met a woman like you before." His tone was gentle, and sincere, and his brown eyes, piercing. Not intense, or smoldering, or filled with unnamed promise. Just straight forward, and simple. Welcoming, and comfortable. Easy.

It would be easy to get lost in them, if she was willing to let herself. He certainly wasn't terrible to look at, and he'd given her plenty of opportunity.

But the sun was almost down, casting shadows through the trees, and around his face, making it difficult to fully appreciate his strong, symmetrical features. And that was a shame. The sunset also signified that his sister would be there soon, and the lesson would be over. For the day, at least.

"And you never will, I'm afraid." With that, she picked up her teaching materials, and started to stand. But with his superior athleticism, he beat her to the punch, and managed to aid her ascent without compromising her balance.

"That is quite a shame."

She smiled her thanks in helping, and he followed her when she turned at went back inside to put away her things. There was no need to repack them, since he would be back again in the morning, just like he had been the last couple days. So she placed them on the low table where she wrote letters for the villagers in between learning the ins and outs of proper fence construction.

Their deal had been upheld, and really, she was grateful for it.

With the others constantly occupied and Sesshoumaru MIA, her days would be long and lonely ones, were it not for Tadaaki's company. From sunrise to sunset he was there, keeping her distracted and helping pass the hours, and filling the emptiness in her hut with his aimable presence. She felt lucky to have met him. He was good people.

"So, where is Yuta?" he finally asked her. Because even though Sesshouamru had sparsely spoken directly to Tadaaki, and not necessarily kindly, his absence was a notable one. Even when he wasn't around, Sesshoumaru couldn't be ignored.

"He seems... nice."

Kagome smiled at the polite young man's manners, but saw fit to defend her missing companion.

"He is, just don't tell him to his face," she warned him, and earned a short laugh. "And I don't know where he went."

"Oh?" Despite her efforts to mask it, Tadaaki didn't miss the slight inflection, and momentary change in her demeanor at the mention of the man he saw her come to the village with.

"He took off on some secret errand, but he didn't tell me where. He didn't even tell me he was going."

She was clearly upset by this, but the handyman didn't have enough intimate knowledge of the woman to discern exactly why. It did confuse him, however, how a man with a woman such as this could simply up and leave her. He certainly never would.

Wishing desperately to help, but cautious not to offend, he timidly ventured a question to help him sort this out.

"Is he not your intended?"

She visibly faltered, and her startled reaction had him immediately regretting his question.

"Sorry, that was forward of me-"

"No." She quickly cut off his unnecessary apologies. He'd just caught her off guard, was all. "We aren't intended. We are friends."

They weren't, and never would be. He'd made that clear to her more than once. And even if he hadn't, his abrupt, unannounced departure was more than enough to tell her where she stood with him. Apparently even below his brother on his list of those he kept abreast of his whereabouts. Which, she conceded, was probably how it should be.

"Simply friends?" Tadaaki asked timidly. He was relieved that she wasn't upset with him, but still terribly curious what her relationship to the quiet, intimidating stranger was.

"I wouldn't say it's simple," she answered cryptically, and with a crooked smile. "But he is my friend."

It didn't fully answer his questions, but he felt a wave of relief crash over him nonetheless.

"That's good," he replied, but quickly added, "to have friends, I mean."

Kagome simply smiled back at him. She wanted to put him at ease, as he always managed to do with her. But also, she didn't even want to begin to get into her and Sesshoumaru's weird relationship with this poor guy. No one deserved having all that baggage unloaded on them. She'd already burdened enough of her friends with it.

"Since Yuta is gone, perhaps you could join us for dinner tonight," the young man ventured hopefully. "My sister is making her specialty. It would be a crime to miss out."

Kagome considered the tempting offer. Seeing that, Tadaaki tried to tip the scales.

"You can invite your other friends. There will be plenty to share!"

The prospect of a dinner party was actually pretty exciting. In that, it was such a normal, wholesome activity that people with friends and family and regular lives got to do.

She was well aware she was more or less playing dress up, here. It was pretend.

Some people fantasized about going on dangerous adventures and meeting exciting people. But her outlandish fantasies seemed to stem around a cozy evening relaxing with friends.

But she welcomed the distraction. Tonight, she was more than happy to forget her troubles, and share a pleasant evening with some nice and friendly people.

"I'd love to. That sounds great."

He beamed at her acceptance, just as he saw his sister approaching Kagome's porch.

"Great."

* * *

A couple days had passed, and there was still no sign of Sesshoumaru. Kagome had been teetering between anger and worry at his prolonged, unannounced absence. But her new group of friends were proving to be a progressively successful distraction.

Their time in the village was supposed to serve as a recovery period before what all were assuming would be an epic battle with a group of tiger youkai. But with their wounds healed and bellies full, it was actually turning out to be a pretty nice vacation as well.

The inu-tachi kept close tabs on each other throughout their stay, but they were also taking advantage of the independence they were now afforded. They all loved each other, but the rigorous mission demanded they all remain in close quarters constantly, not to mention all the time they spent traveling together. They were pretty much family at this point, but even family needs a break after several weeks of living on top of each other.

Inuyasha and Sango took the opportunity to huddle away most of the day, and occasionally spend some time with their friendly young host. Once in a while they would get recruited to help out around the town; pitching in on hunts or repairs, or even training young warriors on battle techniques.

Miroku had earned the affection of his beautiful young widow right off the bat, and after being offered a place to stay in her house, the two remained inside together and were rarely seen except when venturing out to find food or bathe.

And Kagome was enjoying spending time with her new friends. They had taken a shine to her right away, and warmly welcomed her into the fold. She spent her days learning the tricks to making the perfect fence – in between assisting townspeople with any reading or writing they needed done – and her evenings were spent teaching her apt student the basics of spelling and forming sentences. His sister and brother-in-law would often come by to keep company, and try to get in on the action themselves, but mostly they would talk and laugh and tell each other stories. His sister really was a great cook, so Kagome got to enjoy some of the best food the village had to offer for almost every meal as well, having it brought to her hut, or else going with them to eat at the house they shared.

Sometimes, they would enjoy a bottle of sake together, and talk late into the night. It wasn't until after they left her to sleep alone in her hut when she would think about the man who left without a word, leaving her completely alone until the next morning when her handyman would return to her.

But all in all, it was nice. They were nice, and Kagome decided it wasn't so bad to just live like a normal person for a while. No demons or hunting monsters, just hanging out with regular humans. Not since back home in high school did she have a group or normal friends who did normal things. Sure, they weren't especially exciting, but they were good people. This was the kind of life she could have once she was done fulfilling obligations and carrying out her duties. She found she didn't mind it.

Tadaaki smiled when a familiar shadow cast over the planks in his hand. From his crouching position, he paused his sawing mid-stroke to throw a welcoming smile over his shoulder.

"Sorry about that," said Kagome, now that they were alone. For the bulk of the day, her small hut had been filled to capacity with various children of the village who were interested in getting in on an impromptu story time, courtesy of their literate miko guest. She offered to read the fairy tale she'd been using to train the handyman during his reading lessons once it had been spotted by a curious young visitor, and word had quickly spread. She was happy to do it, but it came at the cost of her daily fence-building lesson, so Tadaaki was left to handle things on his own.

Not that he minded. In fact, he would have most likely gotten more accomplished without her there to ask questions and slow him down, but he found himself unable to resist taking numerous breaks throughout the day to linger by the open window and listen to Kagome read. She certainly had a way with children. She had a way with everyone, matter of fact, and he found it impossibly endearing.

"Guess we're going to have to cut my carpentry lesson short today." She crouched beside him to collect the sections of plank he'd already sawed for posts, and after acknowledging her, he returned to his task and finished cutting through the board he had started.

"Do not apologize, Kagome." He'd finally stopped insisting on honorifics after days of correcting him, and she was pleased with her progress. "You are wonderful with those children."

He looked up over at her just in time to see her blush prettily at his compliment. He had intended only a brief glance, so he hadn't bothered to pause in sawing his next board. The sight of her reaction caused him to linger carelessly, and the thoughtless action saw his recently sharpened blade slice easily through his palm.

Tadaaki yelled out, startling her right out of the comfortable moment and making her blood run cold with fear.

His own blood, dark and thick, gushed freely from his hand in heavy, insistent pumps, causing a sickly feeling to churn in her stomach and turn her skin to paper.

It was nothing near as gruesome as some of the things she'd seen, but in this unassuming setting she'd allowed her guard to lower, and the unexpectedness of a mortal wound took her by surprise.

By his wide eyes and white skin, it was clear he hadn't expected it either. And by the way he froze in shock and trembled slightly, it became apparent Tadaaki had little experience sustaining injuries. Luckily, Kagome moonlit as a nurse in the feudal era.

Instinctively, she grabbed his mangled hand, unheeding the unsettling feeling of warm blood coating her skin. Normally, she would apply pressure, and lift it above his head to stop the violent purging from his veins. But she'd acquired a new skill lately, and this was her first opportunity to see if she could replicate her victory from before, or if it was just a fluke.

Holding his hand in hers, Kagome closed her eyes, and concentrated her reiki to her fingertips as she had done so many times before. This time, however, she pictured Tadaaki's hand. She could see his gaping wound clearly in her mind, and simply willed her awesome holy power inside it. She imagined his veins closing, and each fiber of skin and muscle melding, mending together to be as it was before. Better, even.

In seconds, the telltale flash of pinkish light sent beams of blinding power throughout the small space they occupied together, and she felt his appendage tighten in fear.

She probably should have warned him, but time was of the essence.

She could hear his rapid breathing, and even the thundering in his chest as pain and anxiety and uncertainty combined forces in an attempt to give the young man a heart attack.

Frantically, Kagome instantly pulled his hand closer for inspection. She had to wipe away the alarmingly large amount of blood he'd lost to truly get a good gauge on it, but was pleased to find her efforts hadn't been for naught. The wound was healed.

With a heavy sigh, she released him, and placed the clean back of her wrist between her eyes in a show of visible relief.

But while she was calm, the handyman was still trembling, not entirely certain of what he'd just seen, or what exactly had occurred. His pain was gone, but he could just be in shock. With wide eyes, he lifted his palm to his face to assess the damage.

He held it there for several long seconds, not quite sure he accepted what he was seeing. He worried his mind may be playing tricks on him, but was confident his eyes were not lying.

"What happened?" he demanded breathlessly, still looking dazedly at his unmarred hand.

"Pretty neat, huh?" Kagome offered with a nervous laugh, still a little riled up from all the excitement. "It's a new miko trick I just learned." She left out the part where she wasn't sure it was going to work. The poor guy seemed worked up enough.

"Kagome-sama..."

'Great,' she thought, 'we're back to the honorifics.'

Slowly, he removed his awed gaze from his hand, and leveled square at the miko before him.

"You healed me."

She smiled at his amazement. But she conceded that it really was pretty amazing. It was kind of nice to get some recognition once in a while. Many of the people she knew were just used to her super powers.

"Thank you!" he gushed further. His shock finally began to subside, and he was at last able to return the smile she gave him with his own, brimming with gratitude.

"If I could not use my hand, I don't know what..." He trailed off, but she knew what he meant. His hands were his livelihood, and where he placed all his self-value. It was just another reason why he should place higher importance on reading, in her opinion. Speaking of which, it was about time to start his lessons anyhow.

She was about to suggest that to him, but suddenly registered him looming closer than before. Before she could stop him, he reached over from his kneeling position to grab her firmly by the hips.

She gasped when he used his strong arms to pull her flush against his sturdy form, and held her there.

Her breath quickened to match his, and she instinctively placed her hands on his shoulders. Faces only an inch apart, they could feel the heavy pants of one another dancing across their lips as they stared uncertainly, yet intently into each other's eyes.

His hesitation read as a plea, and her silence as permission. So slowly, he lifted his hand – the one she had just healed for him – and weaved his fingers into the thick hair above her ear. Her breath hitched in her throat as he used his grip to gain purchase, and tilted her mouth just enough for him to gently cover it with his.

Now she was paralyzed, frozen in shock just as he was not moments ago. But it wasn't an injury that had rendered her as such.

She could feel what he was doing, so clearly pouring everything he had into his kiss that it left no room to question anything in his heart at that moment. He was telling her what he needed and what he wanted and what he needed from her, and without so much as a word spoken between them. He was leaving himself so open, so naked. This was all he had to give, and he offered it freely.

It was hard to think, but it shouldn't be. So instead, Kagome let feeling take over, and slowly closed her eyes and participated at last. Her lips finally began to move with his, and his gratitude was palpable as he attempted to deepen it while pulling her to him even more tightly.

But at the feel of his warm, inquisitive tongue tracing her seem and begging for access, the fog in her mind cleared and sent a sobering bolt of lightning through her form. With a sharp inhale, her eyes flew open as she used the flats of her palms to push him away at the chest. Tadaaki instantly obliged.

She scrambled to put distance between them, and he offered no resistance as panic and confusion began making their rounds.

"I shouldn't have done that," she insisted, refusing to make eye contact as she shuffled to her feet. He quickly joined her.

Not completely informed, but not completely an idiot either, Tadaaki tried to justify their actions.

"Yuta is not your intended. Is that not so?" He tried to touch her arm, but she maneuvered out of his reach.

"It's complicated," she insisted irritably, though she was more frustrated with herself than with him. "You should go."

She turned to make a quick exit back inside, frazzled and frightened by what had just occurred.

"I'm sorry." His call to her back caused her to stop before she reached her door, but she didn't turn around. "I made a mistake. It won't happen again."

She heard the earnest regret in his voice, and felt guilty for causing it. He didn't deserve to feel that way, but she just couldn't face him right now. "I will see you tomorrow?"

She heard the inflection rife with hope and apology, but could only feel dread at the prospect of seeing him again. His face was the one of her own failings, of her own troubled realities, when it used to be a respite from it.

She offered no answer before continuing into her hut alone.

* * *

Kagome was up before the sun the next morning, she'd made sure of it. And before Tadaaki inevitably arrived, she was out the door and out of sight.

It wouldn't have been too hard to track her down. But she was relieved when sunset came again, and she'd managed to ride out the storm at Inuyasha and Sango's without any of her new acquaintances coming to look for her.

She hadn't told a soul what had happened, she still didn't know. But she tried to sort it out alone without giving anything away to her friends that she was obviously rattled. She just wasn't ready to talk about it yet and needed to think about what she was going to do, what was going to happen.

Because even though she might be able to fool the others, Sesshoumaru would see right through her pathetic façade immediately. Not that she wanted to lie to him anyway. She'd done enough of that.

Before she told him, however, she wanted to sort out her feelings about it so she could properly defend herself against his inevitable onslaught of fury. She had to prepare herself, but wasn't like she didn't deserve it.

No, she hadn't asked to be kissed; hadn't gone looking for it. But she was no fool. She was well aware what was blossoming between Tadaaki and her, well aware of what he wanted. She'd foolishly thought the sweet boy would be too shy to ever try anything. Or at least if he had, she would have no problem rebuking him. She'd played with fire with this one. She put herself in that position. She was not blameless.

And she could gruel over what made her so susceptible and why, but it didn't really change anything at the moment. She didn't know when he was coming back, but until he did, she needed to stay away from the handyman.

It was a shame, too. She felt bad that she had to withhold her reading lessons, not to mention her friendship. 'But hey, that's why you don't shit where you eat, I guess...'

It was going to be a lonely couple days without her new friend group. Or so she'd thought.

For when she finally returned to her hut from her cowardly day of hiding out, she quickly found she wasn't alone.

Fear turned to dread, and finally relief when violet eyes cracked open, and the annoyingly passive features of a meditating Sesshoumaru acknowledged her arrival.

He seemed to be aware that his moment of peaceful silence was over, so he slackened his disciplined pose to lean back against the newly repaired wall and draped a lazy arm over one bent knee.

Kagome felt her body relax in his presence, but it wasn't long before a myriad of other emotions clamored to be acknowledged as well.

"Where have you been?" she demanded. Concern and relief warred for prevalence as she slowly stalked forward, only to stop several feet before reaching him.

He stared at her unblinking until she thought she was going to bubble over with agitation. It was likely only a few seconds.

"Out," was his simple reply, his stoic face untarnished by her discomfited aura. It did not help things.

"Out?" she repeated incredulously, both eyebrows flying into her bangs. "That's all you have to say to me?"

His silence was her answer, and while his mask never faltered, the woman standing before him was becoming more upset.

"Sesshoumaru, you've been gone almost a week, and you aren't going to tell me where you were?"

He let his silence answer for him again. She thought they'd gotten past this. Had he closed himself off once again in the time he'd been away? Or had she just been blind, and hadn't realized it until getting some space from him?

Either way, he was back to driving her nuts. She just needed an answer. Any answer. Even if she didn't like it, they could talk about it. His return to the silent treatment was the worst thing he could do to her, and it hurt just as bad as his sudden disappearance all those days ago. What was happening?

"Were you looking for Rin?" she ventured, trying as best she could to keep her composure around this infuriating man.

"I had matters to attend to." It was an answer, but not a great one. It bordered on evasive, and that was very disconcerting coming from him. Sesshoumaru never hid. He did everything proudly, and way out in the open. What could he possibly be hiding from her?

"That you don't want me to know about?" she asked.

That long, unblinking stare returned full force, and she could see him carefully considering his response.

"Yes," he finally confirmed, and she felt a twisting pain in her chest.

"This isn't like you," she said as she shook her head slightly in mild confusion. A scowl dominated her features in unbridled displeasure. "The least you could do is tell me the truth. You owe me at least the barest considerations."

"That is rich, coming from you." The immediate, deadpanned response took her by surprise. There was no amusement, or even indignation present in his unaffected tone, and that worried her. She was used to his taunting, but when he stated something as fact in his old, bored tone... it made it sound like he didn't care. That hurt the most.

She looked back at him like he'd just socked her in the gut, and immediately softened his features into something almost apologetic as he finally deigned to rise. He took a step closer.

"You are a woman of many secrets, Kagome," he said, looking right into her eyes. "I am afraid you are going to have to allow me this one."

She held his gaze, determined to match the intensity of his glare; perhaps persuade him with her own piercing gaze. But Kagome quickly relented.

He had a point, the jerk. He often did.

And not only that, he had a pretty stellar track record in telling her everything. Even when he didn't have to, he kept her painfully aware of everything she deserved to know.

He'd earned her trust. If he didn't want to tell her, then it must not be important.

It still hurt though, and set her on edge. Regardless, she forced herself to take a calming breath.

"Okay," she offered in begrudging acceptance, but turned her pleading eyes to him once more. "Is everything okay at least? Are you okay?"

When he smiled, it eased the terrible strain on her heart just a little bit.

"Everything is fine," he assured her, and she couldn't help but curve up her lips just a little.

"Okay. Good."

That was all that mattered. She was just pleased that he was back now, and that he was okay. A part of her she refused to nurture niggled at the back of her mind the entire length of his absence that told her he might not be coming back. Either by choice or not, she held a very real fear that one day he would walk out of her life and never return. Probably because he would, someday.

She found great solace that time was not yet upon them, however. Taking him in, she crossed her arms over her chest, and fought the tears that threatened to fall. The stress was becoming a lot.

"You just left." The faint tremble her voice warned him of her struggle. "Without telling me. I was so worried."

As he took in her appearance, considered her words, something akin to regret lent his eyes a gentle air. And his voice.

"I informed Inuyasha."

"I know. I just... wish you'd have told me." Hazarding a step forward forced Kagome to tilt her head back just to look at him. "I wish you could trust me."

"I do trust you," he assured her. Hope fluttered in her chest when it looked like he might cup her cheek, as he'd so often done. But she was disappointed when all he did was trap a loose lock of hair between his nimble fingers, and gently tuck it behind her ear. Then, he withdrew.

"But not with this," she realized aloud. His emotional distance had her averting her gaze and looking down to the side. Apparently, that was what it took to finally feel his palm caress the soft skin of her jaw, and guide her attention back to him. He looked straight into her eyes, with meaning.

"I apologize for making you worry. It will not happen again."

That was the best she was going to do, but she happily accepted his vow. After she nodded in understanding, he withdrew from her again, and retreated one step so that there was a physical distance between them now as well.

Even if he did not wish to confide in her, Kagome wouldn't go back on her decision. His eyes never left hers as she tried to muster the courage to reveal her indiscretion.

"There is something I have to tell you."

She drew a deep breath as Sesshoumaru waited patiently and expectantly for whatever she had to say.

"While you were gone, I kissed someone." She forced herself to maintain his gaze, looking for any sign of a reaction. When she received none, she decided to press on. "Well actually, he kissed me. But I didn't stop it. I mean, I did stop it, but I should have stopped it sooner."

Another lengthy silence was the reward for her honest confession, and it took all she had not to squirm visibly where she stood.

Guilt rolled off her in waves, and she wished he would just say or do anything to let her know what he was thinking. But that bored yet somehow also intense stare betrayed nothing, and only made her more nervous.

"He took me by surprise," she explained further, filling the uncomfortable quiet. "I wasn't expecting it, but I shouldn't have let it happen. I'm sorry."

And that was really it. That was all she could say. When he didn't immediately answer, she chewed her lip in anticipation for whatever cruel, insulting thing he might rightfully heave at her.

Finally, he blinked.

"Alright."

Kagome waited for the rest, but it never came. He simply turned back around, and reclaimed his seat against the back wall. He looked ready to return to his mediation, but she interfered. Again.

"Alright? Is that all you have to say?"

"What would you have me say?" he asked as she made her way over to loom above him.

"I don't know," she admitted, and threw her hands skyward in frustration. "Say I'm a hypocrite. Say I'm a terrible person. With all the hell I've given you about touching other women, and then I turn around and do the same thing... shame me." She seemed to be begging him for a reprimand, but he wouldn't oblige her.

"You seem ashamed as it is," he observed, giving her a quick up and down from where he sat. "Though you have no reason to be."

He closed his eyes once his pose was assumed, but the miko was sputtering.

"No reason? I kissed another man; I have every reason. Aren't you mad?" she demanded hotly, genuinely curious of his answer. This wasn't going as she'd expected.

"I am furious," he confirmed, though he certainly didn't look it.

She was willing to buy that, but she'd seen him furious. This... she didn't know what this was. Uncertainly, she pried further.

"Well, how come you don't seem like you care?"

"Is that why you kissed him?" he asked, cracking one eye open at her.

"No!"

"Then why did you?"

"I don't know." He wanted her to be honest with him, and that was the only honest answer she could give. She wished she had a better one for him, he deserved a better one. And she _was_ a hypocrite, she was certain. For if the roles were reversed, that answer wouldn't cut it. She would be livid. She knew he was a pro at concealing his emotions, but his lack of interest was starting to concern her.

"To not get involved with another was your requirement miko, not mine. I never asked for your fidelity."

His smooth insertion stopped her short, and effectively rendered her speechless. She'd never considered that; she'd always just assumed. She watched him silently for a moment, as she tried to put everything together in her head.

"So you don't care if I go around kissing other guys?" Not that she wanted to, or would. She definitely wanted him to care, though. Wanted the thought of her being with another to hurt him, as much as it did for her.

"I told you that I am furious," he insisted, and even deigned to continue. "Displeased. _Jealous_." Her eyes widened a fraction. The word probably sounded just as strange from his own mouth as it was to her.

"The thought of you with anyone else makes me want to track him down and pull his spine out through his throat." Kagome winced at the grim mental image, before becoming nervous again. She hadn't thought about that, either. She had worried about Sesshoumaru's attitude toward her changing as a result of her moment of weakness, but she hadn't even considered what he might do to Tadaaki. He seemed attuned to her worries, and gentled his tone.

"But I will not. I refuse to stand in the way of your happiness."

Kagome was only confused at his statement, and sought to correct him. He didn't give her the chance, however.

"When I am demon again, I will have centuries to find a mate and procreate." She bristled at the reminder, and couldn't prevent her own jealous bile from rising in her throat. He almost smirked at her reaction, but the unpleasant realities of their situation kept his tone sympathetic, if not slightly remorseful.

"You have but a few short years to create a family. It would be foolish of you not to be looking for a suitable male as your match. Should you find one, I should not like to disrupt any future you may have a chance at." For just a moment, he appeared to be swallowing down something large and distasteful, but he remedied it by stiffening his spine. Sesshoumaru held her horrified gaze long enough satisfy himself of her comprehension. "You may see who you wish to."

His gracious concession left Kagome speechless, and bereft of any gratitude.

She didn't want permission to date around, especially not while he wasn't allowed to. Apparently, he was willing to refrain from seeing anyone else, while permitting her to do as she pleased.

But this wasn't what she wanted. She wanted him alone, and she wanted him to want her that way too. She was heartbroken.

"Be aware, however," his face was still passive, but those eyes boring into hers were finally burning a fearsome flame, and his tone, cold and even, left little to doubt in his words. "that if any male you meet hurts you in any way, I will kill him. Keep that in mind."

She didn't doubt that one bit, and she heard his warning loud and clear. She would have to be careful about any of the poor suckers she let into her life from now on. If Sesshoumaru viewed any action as an affront, she doubted he cared if the perpetrator intended it to be, or if it actually warranted his wrath.

But she didn't want to be with anyone else, so it really didn't matter.

"Besides," he continued, but he lightened his tone in a way that she preferred. That haughty, arrogant way that spoke of his amusement. "How will you truly ever be certain of my superiority, if you have nothing to make a comparison?"

The slight quirking up at the corners of his mouth let her know he made one of those jokes that really wasn't a joke, but she couldn't bring herself to laugh. His attempt was half-hearted as well.

She looked in his eyes and she just knew, that even though he was much better at concealing his pain, he was about as thrilled with this arrangement as she was.

Her heart broke a little more the longer she looked at him, until he reached into his obi and pulled out a folded piece of parchment. She eyed it curiously as he handed it out to her, but realization dawned when she recognized the inelegant pen strokes which spelled out her name.

"I found this," he informed her, and placed it in her hand. Upon his arrival, he immediately noticed it sitting alone on the table she had been using for writing her letters for the villagers. Her name was written on the outside, but it was clearly not her handwriting. The miko's lettering was neat and attractive. This... was not. He hadn't hesitated to open it, and read the short note to his roommate just before she got back.

"You are a very good teacher," he offered softly, and watched her eye the note with concern. "The lettering is sloppy, and its riddled with errors, but not completely atrocious considering the duration of his lessons."

Disregarding his offense of opening her mail, she unfolded the note quickly and raked her eyes over the message.

"This man sounds sincere," Sesshoumaru told her, as he watched her consume the contents. It didn't take long, and then she returned her gaze to him. When she did, she was rendered mute once again, as those striking violet pools told her several things at once. He was paralyzing.

"Completely unworthy, but his priorities are commendable. Not a total waste of skin."

She doubted he thought all that much of the man, but he was well aware of the value she placed in his opinion. In relaying his approval, he was pretty much encouraging her to accept him too, if it would please her.

She didn't know what to say. Didn't know what she could say, or if it could make a difference.

He closed his eyes to resume his meditations, but first offered one more suggestion on the matter.

"If you find him acceptable, perhaps you should seek him out after we find Rin."

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing made it out past her throat.

Not another word was spoken between them that night. Though a million thoughts were racing through her mind, none of them were proving to be productive. Quite the contrary.

So, in a glorious show of compartmentalization, she shut off her troubling thoughts, and simply went to sleep.

She had to get up early if she wanted to avoid Tadaaki in the morning.

* * *

The next morning, Sesshoumaru rallied the troops and finally told them all what they were waiting to hear. With Kirara back in traveling condition, everything was in order for them to at last raid the tiger's compound, and hopefully rescue Rin from inside. They had everything they needed, and everyone was healthy and rested enough to be in top form for the anticipated battle. This would be their last night in the village, and they would leave at dawn the next morning.

In honor of their departure, the friendly village who had welcomed them so warmly insisted on holding a modest celebration that evening, as a show of good luck and well wishes.

Sesshoumaru instantly refused, stating that it wasn't necessary, but he was quick to learn that resistance, in this case, was futile. Accounting for that, he finally relented, but demanded that the rest of his traveling party abstain from alcohol and get to sleep at a decent hour. They were getting up early, and everyone needed to be in good shape.

He'd initially taken a seat at lone table as far from the bonfire and dancing as he could get while still technically be counted as being present, but it wasn't long before several of the village's more boisterous gentlemen saw fit to join him, and enjoy their libations in his company.

From a short distance, Kagome recognized his predicament – as well as the pained look he gave that went along with it - and giggled lightly to herself. She began to make her way over to perhaps alleviate his torment, when something caught her eye that gave her pause.

At first, she hardly even noticed it. In their years together, she'd seen Sango embracing Miroku many, many times. But now that they were no longer an item, it was not so commonplace. She considered the old lecher might be pulling one of his patented maneuvers on his old favorite target, but upon closer inspection, it was clearly more than that.

She could now see that his face was buried in the crook of her shoulder, and he seemed to be convulsing as Sango rubbed soothing circles on his back as a form of placation. If she didn't know any better... he was crying.

That was disconcerting. Miroku never cried. Not that it was a bad thing to do, it just meant something really terrible must have happened. And he wasn't bleeding or anything.

Kagome just stood there watching Sango comfort her ex-lover, and found herself at a crossroads. The demon slayer obviously had things well in hand. She didn't know if she should just leave them be, or go see what was wrong and offer her aid.

Before coming to a decision, a light tapping on her elbow drew her attention behind her to the friendly smile of her ex-student/handyman. She tried to play it cool; she knew running into him here was a possibility, even though she hoped to avoid him until she left. But she acknowledged that he deserved more than that. And she needed to just grow up and act like an adult.

"Tadaaki, hi." Her shy greeting felt far less awkward than she'd anticipated. He had that comforting effect on her, and she'd missed it.

"Hi, Kagome." With one flash of that warm, welcoming smile, he instantly made her forget that she was supposed to feel uncomfortable. So she just didn't.

Within seconds, they picked up right where they left off – right before the kiss – and it was just like it was before. He always made things so easy for her. She liked that about him.

* * *

Several paces away, muddled beneath the excitement of the lively celebration that surrounded them, Miroku seemed to finally get his choking sobs under control.

Far from embarrassed at his rare display of outward agony, he took a deep breath through his nose to calm him and steady his voice enough to speak coherently.

"I'm so sorry, Sango," he whispered into her neck. When he squeezed her tighter, she paused her ministrations on his back to return the favor, before relaxing a bit to resume them.

"It's okay."

"No. If I knew it hurt this much..."

It was hard to see him this way. But for all the times over the years when he had been her rock – her strength when she was weak, and needed his sturdy presence the most – she would now be his.

Sango steeled herself, keeping her voice sympathetic and assuring, and let him crumble to pieces against her.

"Well, now you do. Maybe the next girl you date, you will be a little more mindful of her feelings."

She wasn't trying to chastise him, or kick him while he was so down. But the only way dire moments such as these were not a total loss was to trudge through the rubble, and see what you can salvage.

And this lesson was so long in coming, the taijiya had given up hope that he would ever learn it.

"I love her. I thought..." His voice began to waver again, and she pulled his head against her shoulder once more to stifle his unnecessary explanation.

"I know," she whispered back, keeping her eyes set somewhere far behind him. "And I'm sorry."

That's really all she could say. She would never take joy in his heartbreak, even though of all people, he probably had it coming to him the most. She couldn't even find it in her to be offended that this widow had been able to capture his heart and his loyalty in a way she had not.

She just wanted him to be happy, and it killed her that he was not. But he would be, and she would be here for him until he was again, no matter how long it took.

After a moment of her soothing, he could finally speak again.

"I love you, you know," he told her, and began to rock them slightly. And even though it was weak, she could hear the smile in his confession. She smiled back.

"I know." After a lengthy pause, both of them laughed, and bittersweet memories panged beautifully; a good hurt. "I love you too. And I always will."

His smile grew wider, and with eyes closed, he pressed his cheek firmly into her warmth.

"Here he is!"

The sound of a familiar villager urged them to separate, and Sango released him to dry his eyes before turning to the man who called him.

"Your presence is required at my table at once. Come join us!" The insistent man had obviously been enjoying his drink, and grabbed the monk by his robes to usher him urgently away. Miroku easily slipped into his amiable persona, and flashed Sango an apologetic glance while she watched on in amusement. A mocking wave sent him on his way, and soon Miroku found himself at a table packed to capacity with men. All of them were drinking, save for one notable exception.

"Ah, Miroku, good!" said one of the men he'd developed a rapport with since his arrival to the village. "Before you depart, you must tell us one more of your delightful stories!"

He grinned devilishly, and space was made for him to sit as the others moved aside to accommodate him.

"As you wish. Which of my titillating tales do you wish to be regaled with?"

"The one with the monk's daughter!" one man suggested.

"No, the sisters from the market place was the best," another opined.

As the table argued over which of his tales would be told, the man who'd accosted him gestured to his buddy across the table.

"Hatchi hasn't heard the one about you with the wife of that gigantic lord. You must tell us that one."

Rumbles of agreement and lewd excitement made their way around the table, until one skeptical villager loudly voiced his humble opinion.

"That story is such bullshit!" He earned a few groans from his friends for ruining everybody's fun.

"What makes you say that?" Miroku wondered innocently.

"It's just so ridiculous. First of all, a man would never survive a three story drop like that. It's impossible."

"It is not."

The arguing was put to a halt when the monotone man who'd yet to speak confidently issued his claim.

Though they hadn't seen or heard much from Sesshoumaru during his time there, something about the man put them all on edge, and strongly dissuaded them from voicing opposition. After a wary glance, however, the skeptical man boldly defended his position.

"Is too."

He seized a bit when 'Yuta' lifted his bored gaze from where it previously rested on the table in front of him, and leveled him with it. Sesshoumaru gave the man an assessing once over, before locking him into a paralyzing glare.

"Any man of acceptable strength and fortitude could easily withstand such a fall, perhaps you are simply too weak to fathom it."

The man flushed with embarrassment as his friends around him all laughed at the insult, but Sesshoumaru made him too nervous to bark back, or even become enraged.

Mercifully, he released him from his threatening stare, and slid his violet gaze over to Miroku's.

"This One had his misgivings at first, but I have come to understand that perhaps I was hasty with my assumptions. I regret dismissing you so easily."

The monk's eyebrows rose to new heights. Receiving what could be considered an apology from the Lord of the West was shocking enough in its own rite, but he knew Sesshoumaru wouldn't even bother to offer it unless he was absolutely sure he was wrong. And there was only one way he could be sure of that...

Miroku decided to get comfortable.

"Well, I certainly know a good story when I hear it," he informed the table confidently. "My dear friend here is not a man to make such declarations lightly. I assume you are speaking from experience?"

The unamused silence he received was all the answer he required.

"I see. Well, you have all heard quite enough from me throughout my stay. Lord Sesshoumaru- ah."

The death glare he earned for blowing his cover was enough to stop Miroku mid-sentence, but his quick mind worked to correct his slip.

"... is a very fearsome, yet noble demon in the Western Lands." The men at the table looked around at each other, then Miroku in confusion over his strange out-of-the-blue statement. Sesshoumaru fought off an eye roll as the monk grinned sheepishly in return. "On another note, I yield the floor to Yuta here, in hopes of having my good name upheld. Yuta-sama..."

All eyes turned expectantly to him, and his glare returned to the nervous monk for putting him on the spot. His slip-up was easily disregarded by the men in lieu of the promise of a story that he had no desire to impart to them.

He had brought it on himself by bringing it up at all, but he felt the need to defend the foolish monk, and repent for his quick dismissal of him. Even though, he still wasn't entirely certain _his_ account was the truth.

Oh, well. This would be his penance. They were leaving tomorrow anyway, and these people deserved to hear at least one true story before they left them.

He looked around the anxious table, and let out a small sigh before beginning.

"I was taken prisoner to a castle in the Northern Mountains, when I was accosted by the wife of a soldier..."

* * *

"That was a fine story..." Miroku told Sesshoumaru at the conclusion of his torrid little tale. The former demon looked his way, and arched a brow. "I don't know if I believe it."

The smirk he received for that quip was more than worth the trouble, and the monk was quick to return one of his own in a rare moment of comradery with the Western Lord.

After his story, the other men at the table left to refresh their drinks, and try their hand at persuading one of the young village women to dance. For once, it seemed the lecher would not be joining them.

Instead, he watched from the sidelines, and took a stab at being a spectator of debauchery, as opposed to the main attraction.

But rather than the villagers, Miroku's keen focus was fixed on Sesshoumaru. He watched as his eyes drifted over the crowd, and took inventory. Even as a human, he couldn't help but assess his surroundings with the weak senses he had available, and take mental notes.

When his scanning irises appeared to stop and fixate on one portion of the crowd, and a slight sneer tried to play at his lips, Miroku followed his line of sight, but he really hadn't needed to.

"I'd like to hear another story." That intimidating gaze slid unhurriedly his way, but the suspicious glint that surrounded it seemed prepared for his request. "One about a miko and a riverbank."

Sesshoumaru considered him a moment more, with a calculating intensity that would have rendered a lesser man to a groveling mess. But Miroku withstood his scrutiny bravely, and was eventually rewarded for it, but not without a resigned huff of mild annoyance.

"I was once stranded on a riverside with a miko," he began, and the monk once again adjusted himself more comfortably in his seat. "She carved me a spear, and healed my wounds, and let me know her heart. But she didn't know what was good for her, so I turned her away."

Miroku frowned, defiantly disappointed with where the story was going. Sesshoumaru seemed to miss his reaction, as his eyes glazed over as he lost himself to both memory and introspection.

"I caught her a fish, and taught her to heal her own wounds, and let a sword know her heart. I made her hurt but I soothed her pain."

They were both silent a moment after that, lost in their own personal reveries. But only one of them seemed aware of the other presence, as he collected his thoughts and forged his opinions in stone.

"Are you certain it is she who does not know what Is good for her?"

Sesshoumaru turned to regard the monk beside him, only to find the man had already stood, and appeared to be preparing to take his leave.

When he didn't respond, Miroku stepped closer, and bravely bent his head low to speak quietly into the Western Lord's ear.

"Beg your pardon, my lord. You are a noble demon, but you are a very stupid man."

And then, at last, he was finally alone again. Just as he'd started out. Just as he wanted to be. He should be pleased.

Another lingering look across the bonfire revealed his miko companion exactly where he had last seen her; beside his one-time handyman, engaged in some apparently spirited and enjoyable conversation.

He watched her listen and laugh, and then say things he couldn't hear. He watched her touch his arm, and then his chest playfully. Affectionately.

But he fought the sneer that tried to crawl up his lip. This is what he wanted. This is what he'd asked for.

Miroku was gone, but he answered him anyhow.

"I know."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter... was not easy, lol. That's part of why it took so long; it was a fighter. Remember when I could post an insanely long chapter every 3 days? Remember that? Those were the days, man. Hopefully, the next one will go smoother, cuz I am super excited for it. We're starting to get into some more of the material I had written even before I started this story, so maybe that will help.
> 
> I actually had an entirely different idea for this chapter originally, but honestly, it would have just taken way too long to flesh out, and it would have distracted from the main plot for too long, so I went with this instead. Maybe I'll try and fit my other idea into a later chapter, we'll see XD
> 
> I hope you still liked it. Let me know if you did. Thanks for reading!


	26. Compounded

They weren't far into their departure from the village when Sesshoumaru instructed the monk to have Kirara land them. Kagome thought it was strange that he'd insisted on taking the middle seat for this ride, because in addition to preferring her safely wedged between the two human men, he was also quite opposed to being touched by anyone but her.

But with her arms wrapped tightly around his middle – at his own stern command – she could feel it every time Sesshoumaru leaned in to mutter directions into the obedient monk's ear. Running down below with Sango as his cargo, Inuyasha was forced to follow suit despite his justified confusion. This was not the predetermined path they had discussed taking to get them to the tiger's compound, and the further they veered off course, the more aggressively the hanyou attempted to get his brother's attention to alert him of this.

Once paws touched dirt, he finally skidded to a stop to vocalize his concern.

"Why are you taking us this way? The compound's in the other direction."

Sesshoumaru leapt off their newly-healed sabertoothed friend while Miroku did the same, before grabbing the miko firmly at the waist and assisting with her dismount. Unaware of the change in plans herself, she only looked up in silent question at the man who was still holding her gently by the hips. Sesshoumaru ignored his brother's question and issued his own demand.

"Miko, follow me."

She watched him begin to make his way further into the dense woods before turning to relay her confusion to the rest of the pack. Seeing that the reaction was unanimous, she spun back around quickly and jogged a bit to catch up to her long-stridden packmate.

"Is everything okay Sesshoumaru?" Inuyasha called out while he still had the chance. Despite his curiosity, he trusted his brother now. He also knew that if the short-winded former demon didn't want to tell him something, it was a waste of breath to try and demand it, so he kept his requests simple.

"Wait here," he instructed once the miko reached his side. "We shall return shortly."

Furrowing his brow, the hanyou turned to Miroku in silent question, but was only greeted with a crude two-handed gesture that was international sign language for intercourse. Accompanied by his trademark eyebrow waggle, it was clear what the monk's assumption was. Inuyasha simply made a face, while Sango saw fit to roll her eyes.

Back straight and eyes forward, Sesshoumaru had yet to acknowledge Kagome's presence as he led them deeper into the woods. He strode confidently past various rocks and bushes, maneuvering around trees when necessary as the miko tried her best to match his pace without tripping over branches and roots.

She would occasionally cast him a suspicious sidelong glance, but decided to wait quietly for him to reveal his intentions. After about fifteen minutes, however, she finally broke.

"Where are we going?" she asked, and earned herself a side glance of her own. When his pupils returned forward, she knew she was barking up the wrong tree. She would try again.

"Okay, well, how far is it?"

"Not far," he immediately deigned. She supposed that would have to satisfy her for now. Whatever he had planned, she was sure he had his reasons; so she should just enjoy the nature hike for the time being. Which she would have – the surrounding landscape was growing more picturesque the further they strayed – if not for a sharp, constant pain distracting her from the scenery.

"Gods, my foot is killing me."

"How could that be?" he wondered aloud, and tossed her another glare. "You have been sitting on a fire cat all day."

"I don't know! But I got this awful cramp deep in the arch of my foot."

He watched her walk awkwardly as she tried to stretch her toe without stopping, but didn't slow his pace to accommodate her in the slightest.

"As a matter of fact, you have done nothing but get carted around lately," he condescendingly, yet accurately, saw fit to point out. Lifting a brow, he at last twisted his neck. "What have you gotten into while I was away?"

"I'll tell you when you tell me," she smartly replied, fairly confident that if he hadn't told her where he went by now, he wasn't going to. Her teasing smile was met with silence, and he returned his attention forward, proving her right.

After a few more minutes of walking, Kagome couldn't help but wonder; if they had to make this detour, why wouldn't he have simply flown them closer to their destination... whatever it was? Time was of the essence, as per his own anxious decree. So if he was willing to waste precious minutes waltzing through the forest with her, she figured he had to have a pretty good reason.

It was a reason why she was so curious as to where he had scampered off to for those days he'd left the village. Sure, they couldn't depart anyway until Kirara was all healed up from her demon trap – she was their only mode of transportation, after all, not to mention the only full youkai remaining among them – but he tended to air on the side of efficiency, and used his time wisely. If he wasn't getting his plans together for the upcoming raid, she wondered what could have possibly been so important as to distract him.

The upcoming battle had her nervous, and no matter how she tried, she couldn't seem to get the knots in her stomach to untangle. Bottling it up made it worse, so she hoped he might be willing to indulge in a little relevant conversation.

"So this is it," she announced. "We're almost to the compound, huh?"

They'd been over the plan, as it were. She supposed it was as thorough as it could be, given the information and resources they had. But it was far from air-tight. There were too many variables at play to let her be comfortable, and despite her confidence in him, Kagome hated surprises.

"Indeed," he confirmed. "We shall be there well before sundown."

She nodded in understanding, but this little side-trip had her wondering, "Any more stops after this?"

"No."

That was good, she guessed. They were as ready as they were going to get, but that was what concerned her. Looking up at Sesshoumaru, he portrayed confidence, but he almost always did, so that gave her little solace. She knew him well enough by now to know that he would never allow any misgivings he may be having to seep through, if he could help it.

"Are you nervous?" she asked, not quite sure which answer she wanted. His assurance bolstered her own, but it was also nice to be on the same page once in a while. He slid his gaze down to her again, and seemed to consider his response carefully. That was enough of an answer for her.

"I am confident we will be aptly prepared for victory."

"Speak for yourself," she scoffed. "I don't even have my bow." The reminder had her deflating a bit. "I better hope I can get close enough to fry those tigers without getting my arm chewed off."

Just because she didn't have a weapon, it didn't mean she was unarmed. Her attack was very effective against demons, but she would have to get close enough to touch them. The prospect was unsettling, and apparently, not only for her.

"You will not. I will not permit it." His no-nonsense tone brooked no room for argument, but that never stopped her before. She scowled deeply at him in response.

"What am I supposed to do, hold your coat?" she asked sarcastically. "Why even bring me then?"

If he thought she was going to sit on the sidelines while everyone she cared about was fighting to the death, he was dumber than she realized. His smooth reply tempered her a bit.

"You will be crucial to our success."

"How?"

Before he could answer – if he even intended to – Kagome was stopped short by a sudden drain on her senses. Magic she was unaware of dissipated in an instant, revealing before them a large property in what had only seconds ago appeared to be an empty clearing.

It was like when Sesshoumaru, or some other powerful demon, had been masking his aura, and suddenly lifted the cloak to make his presence known. Power, and youki, and auras and essence went from zero to a hundred in an instant, and overwhelmed her with the sudden tax on her unprepared system. A rush went through her, making her light-headed and setting her holy powers on edge.

A respectable cabin sat in the middle of the landscape. From the outside, it appeared unassuming and cozy, but the fact that it was hidden was enough to rouse the miko's concerns. Sesshoumaru didn't seem bothered by it, or surprised, so she figured they had finally gotten where they were going.

"What is this place?" she asked him, still marveling at the new scenery. When he began walking forward, she followed.

"Come."

The closer they got to the cabin, the better she was able to scrutinize her new surroundings. For a humble little home, it sure had a lot of fancy accessories decorating the area around it. A wide, beautiful fence surrounded the perimeter, and each post and plank appeared to have carved in it a different pattern with some sort of image or symbol. With all the fine detail, it must have taken ages to construct.

Once through it, they passed under a tall-standing archway, also made of wood, that had designs so intricate and complicated Kagome wondered how such a thing was even possible. It was like some amazing artist had been hired to litter the property with pleasing aesthetics.

But most incredible by far was the house itself. Someone sure knew their medium, because made entirely of gorgeous cuts of wood, every inch of the domicile from top to bottom, and all the way around, was shaped to perfection. The edges curved fantastically into each other, and managed a pleasing flow that guided the eyes around it seamlessly, like a story with a start and a finish, and arcs and development in between. Kagome got the feeling she was in on something spectacular, but coded enough to be a secret that only a very few who really paid attention were capable of discerning. It was breathtaking.

She was successfully distracted by the display as Sesshoumaru led her to the front door, which in and of itself was enough to keep the young woman's focus occupied for hours on end, and casually let himself in like he owned the place.

Wait, did he? Was that even possible? She was 99.9% certain he said he had never been this far north before.

She wordlessly followed, and was even more blown away by the interior. She would have been lost in awe all over again, but another sudden rush riled her miko blood, and forced it to simmer a bit at the proximity.

 _Youkai,_ her body warned her, and snapped her from her stupor. And seemingly out of nowhere, the owner of that youki made herself known.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, you've returned." Upon closer inspection, it looked like the female had simply stepped in from another room. Behind her, an open doorway was now visible that Kagome hadn't noticed upon first sight. She couldn't tell if it was the way this house seemed to have its way with her eyes, or if she'd simply overlooked it. "Have two days already passed? I suppose time flies when you're not around."

She looked to be a little older than Sesshoumaru, but with demon aging and all, that could very well mean centuries, if not more. She had a kind face, but knowing eyes that lent her an otherwise intimidating air.

Other than that, this youkai just looked so terribly plain. Like, distractingly so. The demons Kagome had met either tended to be impossibly beautiful – like Sesshoumaru – or frighteningly ugly. There was nothing noteworthy about this woman's appearance, though that might be a weapon in and of itself, if not a defense mechanism. Her simple clothing might also have aided in achieving such an unremarkable air.

She was some sort of woodland rodent, that was for certain. A woodchuck, or a beaver perhaps, would make perfect sense, considering her surroundings.

Sesshoumaru hadn't reacted to the casual jab, but halted his ingress – and in doing so, Kagome's as well – allowing the youkai to approach them instead.

"Are you stalling? Or is it finished?" His curt impatience was familiar, and neither surprising nor frightening to Kagome despite his icy delivery. The beaver youkai, Kagome decided she was going to go with, didn't appear at all shaken by his arrogant demand either.

"Aye, its finished. I wouldn't dare keep you waiting."

She drew closer, and Kagome noticed she seemed to have won their host's full focus. She was being looked upon with incredible scrutiny, but there was something placating in her rapt gaze that prevented the miko from becoming unsettled. Regardless, she still turned to her companion and asked her very valid question.

"Who is she?" She half-whispered, despite being fully aware of youkai hearing. It just seemed more polite that way.

But Sesshoumaru didn't answer her, just watched lazily on as this female he apparently knew rounded on her, and roved appreciatively over her form. If she didn't know any better, Kagome would have thought he'd brought her as a meal. But when her gaze made it to her own sapphire blue eyes, it seemed to rest there somewhat reverently.

"This is her," she declared softly and confidently with an awed smile. Reaching forward, she looked as if she was going to touch Kagome's face, and the miko braced for contact. She stopped short however, and let her hand fall back down slowly. Her stare never faltered. "You described her perfectly. She looks just as I imagined she would." Releasing her from her open assessment, the youkai finally returned her attention up to Sesshoumaru. "You're right, she is very beautiful."

Blushing slightly, she felt inclined to introduce herself.

"Hi, I'm Kagome."

"The Shikon Priestess, yes I know." With a slight bow of the head, the youkai turned back to her. "A pleasure."

The demon did not appear to deem fit to offer her own name, however. And when that became clear, Kagome felt empowered to question the odd stranger.

"He told you about me?" She was tempted to glare at Sesshoumaru, but kept her focus straight ahead. A little preamble would have been nice in this case, if for no other reason than to tell her how to behave. Was this a test, or some weird ritual? Was she supposed to do something here? He didn't appear to be taking command of this encounter, but rather letting this beaver youkai soak her in to her satisfaction.

"Hn. He had to," she explained, and then, abruptly spun back around. "Would have been a rather dull commission if he had not."

Commission?

Scowling, the miko turned to her friend to silently demand answers. But with his stoic mask in place, it didn't look like she would be getting any cooperation. Knowing a dead end when she saw it, she took a step forward, and addressed the female's slowly retreating back.

"I'm sorry, and you are...?" she prompted hopefully, and earned another modest smile.

"Just a humble craftsman with good connections." The cryptic answer seemed like the best she was going to do, and she suddenly realized what may have drawn the former youkai behind her into this beaver's orbit. "Have a seat," she insisted, gesturing to the cushion-laden sitting space made up nicely in the middle of the room. "Would you like some tea?"

Kagome began to take another step forward, but a sturdy hand on her shoulder held her in place. She looked up over at him questioningly.

"We cannot stay, as you know. I've spent too much time here as it is. Give me my commission and we shall depart."

Wait, was this where he was that whole time? What could he possibly have been doing here for all those days? And what was this commission he wanted so badly? It was hard to keep her questions behind her teeth, but Kagome got the feeling she was about to find out, so she managed to remain silent.

The youkai bowed submissively at the command. "At once, my lord."

But instead of leaving to go fetch whatever it was he was expecting to receive, she called into the back room for what looked to be an assistant.

A smaller, much younger youkai – also rodent in nature – appeared in an instant, and was instructed to take Sesshoumaru to retrieve his due. Without a word to her, Sesshoumaru followed after the little demon as he was led deeper into the cabin.

Kagome looked hesitantly after him, uncertain if she should follow. But the beaver youkai's voice kept her in the room.

"His father was also quite impatient when he called on me for his commission."

She turned back to the self-proclaimed craftsman just in time to see her stride over to her cushions, and kneel down upon one. Kagome walked closer while the youkai adjusted herself more comfortably, and with a wordless gesture, instructed the young woman to join her. She complied.

"You knew his father?"

Kagome had so many questions, and that was as good as any place to start. Folding her legs under her, she settled in, never taking her inquisitive eyes off of the kind ones across the way.

"Oh, yes," she confirmed with another easy smile. It became slightly wistful as her gaze seemed to gloss over for just a brief moment. "I was devastated when he passed. We all were."

How and why she knew the great dog general did not strike Kagome as terribly relevant. She was much more interested in the things Sesshoumaru likely wouldn't tell her, and Inuyasha couldn't.

"What was he like?" she asked eagerly. The wistful smile remained, but adopted a touch of gratitude as well. She seemed eager to talk about him, or at least pleased to have a reason to do so.

"Tough," she instantly replied, and Kagome smiled too. She could have guessed that. "But fair. Cruel when he needed to be, but with a capacity for great kindness as well. Terrifying if he didn't like you, incredibly charming if he did. And handsome," she added deviously. "So, very handsome." Kagome's cheeks pinkened. She could have guessed that too. "A good ruler. It was my pleasure to serve under him."

So this youkai _was_ old. And apparently, a friend of the family. Or at least a fan. Her anxiety lessened significantly at the knowledge.

"Sesshoumaru got all the best parts of him, it would seem." The knowing way she looked at her then required effort to withstand sans fidgeting. Kagome noted how though she called him lord to his face, the youkai dropped the honorific when speaking of him. "Though I believe his mother's influence gives him an edge in the looks department." The wink she threw in relaxed Kagome even further.

"You've known Sesshoumaru a long time then," she ventured.

"Long enough," she confirmed gently, and made a fuss of straightening her kimono. Kagome couldn't tell whether it was a nervous gesture. "Though it has been centuries since I have seen him last. He has not paid me a visit since I moved out here. I was surprised to find him finally upon my doorstep, for many reasons."

When the youkai's warm, nostalgic smile finally dropped, Kagome's did as well. She voiced the realization she had the moment she entered the cabin.

"Well, he must trust you, to let you see his secret."

Sesshoumaru had taken progressively more drastic measures to conceal his identity as the weeks wound on. From changing his clothing to assuming an alias, it was a difficult – yet necessary – concession for the proud lord to make. For all the trouble and indignity, he would not compromise his painstaking efforts, and expose himself in a foolhardy display. But if this demon knew him and his family as well as she proclaimed, it was just as likely she would have recognized him regardless. It was a calculated decision, Kagome was sure, to seek this demon out. Whatever she was doing for him, it had to be worth it.

"With how long I have known his family, he has enough of mine in his vault. It is only fair that I now hold one of his."

"Enjoy it while you can, I shall not be this way much longer."

Both females turned back to the doorway he had disappeared into a few minutes prior to see him gracefully reenter their company. His little guide mouse was nowhere to be seen, but he now held a large, oddly shaped item wrapped inside some sort of cloth sheet. Kagome's interest was piqued.

"I should hope not," said the demon as he made his way over to them. When he arrived, he forwent claiming a cushion in favor of simply kneeling down at Kagome's side close enough to brush his arm against hers. The contact warmed her instantly, and caused a giddy thrill to roll through her. Their host's somber toned tempered her a little. "I fear what may come if you are not able to return soon."

"Have you heard anything new?" Sesshoumaru asked after he placed the bundle down gently in front of the both of them. But his focus was on the beaver youkai, while Kagome's remained fixed on the mystery item.

"Not in the last two days, I haven't."

He didn't respond, simply made himself busy unfolding the cloth before them. Reaching wide across her; he managed to completely expose its contents as if an unveiling, and for a moment, Kagome forgot to breathe.

Before her lay a bow. A bit smaller than the one she had grown used to carrying, this was by far superior in regards to quality and aesthetics. The first thing that caught her eye was the intricate, purposeful engravings and smooth, artistic shape it held. Just like the cabin, and all the structures outside, the glorious wood captivated the eyes, and took them on a journey around its entire expanse. A story was being told around this bow; she was certain. What it was, she didn't know, but was beyond compelled to learn.

The material was solid. She was no connoisseur, so she couldn't name the specific kind of wood on sight alone. But she had no doubt it was of the highest quality. It looked rich, strong, and _heavy_. The dark chocolate brown shined as if polished, and looked sanded until smooth. There was something about the shape that spoke to her, it was hard to pinpoint. Looking more like an art piece than a deadly weapon, this bow looked like it belonged on a wall in some fabulous mansion, or museum as opposed to in someone's hand.

The top end folded forward where the thick string attached, and morphed seamlessly into the head of a frightening, yet beautiful dog. It didn't take a second look to recognize Sesshoumaru's true form, with the unmistakable markings and flawless edges and curves of his bestial face.

On the bottom end, was a perfect sphere, with an elongated diamond carved into the center of it. And just above that was a small flat plane on either side. She couldn't see if anything was carved into the downturned side, but the one facing her harbored the exact to-scale crescent that should be adorning the brow of the man kneeling beside her. Up and down the length of the bow was several beautiful but unrecognizable markings. More than simply random, eye-pleasing shapes, these etchings definitely held significance that Kagome ached to know. She was in awe, and it took a moment to find her voice.

"It's beautiful," she whispered, trance-like. Unable to help herself, as if on their own accord, her fingers reached out to the magnetizing wood below, and stroked the glossy material with the gentle pads of her fingers.

"Thank you, priestess," the demoness nodded gratefully as she traded her gaze between the entranced young woman, and the fruits of her painstaking labor. "Not bad for a rush job, I must say." Her kind eyes turned slightly admonishing as she shifted her focus to the man across from her. "A little notice next time, Western Lord, if you please. I had to put all of my other commissions to the wayside for this. Perhaps you would be so kind as to apologize to my more insistent customers for me."

Sesshoumaru tore his attention from the miko's appreciative fawning, and was forced to temper his displeasure in doing so.

"I have told you; you will be compensated once I return West," he insisted almost defensively, and with a slight frown. The youkai waved him off.

"And I have told you, it is not necessary. You have put more than enough work in around here this last week to compensate me for you gift."

Kagome ripped her covetous gaze off of the beautiful weapon as several things became clear to her in that moment. She turned toward Sesshoumaru, who was attempting to stare down the youkai in her own home. The miko's question hindered his ambitions.

"You had this made for me?" she realized. He leveled her with a snobby look, half-hearted as it was.

"For whom else would I commission a bow, miko?"

He was trying to look lordly, and dismissive. But there was something about the way he lifted his chin and lowered his lids that was different from usual. It was almost... timid. If he was even capable of such a thing. She studied him carefully, trying to make sense of his gesture.

"Why?" she finally demanded, as the direct route was always the most fruitful with him. He cracked an eye at her, and ached his brow above it.

"This One swore to find you a replacement, did he not? It would be foolish to wage war without a miko's magic arrows, if one has the option."

Losing her bow when getting captured had been a major blow to their arsenal, for certain. After the Tetsusaiga, it was hands down the most damaging play they had against any youkai foe. All other attacks were helpful, but meager in comparison, even his own simple human sword. Going into battle without her holy arrows would have altered their odds severely, and he seemed to know this. She just didn't think they had any other option.

His faith and acknowledgment of her was beyond flattering, and left her momentarily speechless. As his imploring, violet eyes bore into her with paralyzing intensity, he anchored her by placing his hand on her shoulder.

"I cannot do this without you," he freely admitted, resigned but in no way resentful. He seemed to soften as he issued his plea. "Will you help me to victory?"

She had a feeling he knew she wouldn't refuse. This was more a token of faith, and an admission of her skill and necessity in this mission. He knew she had adequacy issues, and alongside his other motives, was attempting to assuage them. It was so sweet of him; it was so attentive. It was so... wait!

"That's where you were? Here, working off a debt?"

At her incredulous realization, he removed his hand somewhat sheepishly. By her tone, he felt the need to defend himself.

"I had nothing else to offer her," he simply explained, "and she expressed need of a well."

Ah yes, that male pride thing. For a warlord, he sure drew his lines in funny places.

"Don't blame me. I told him I wouldn't charge him, but he insisted." After declaring that, their youkai hostess rose from her cushion, and made her way into the back. Kagome barely registered the departure as she continued to stare at Sesshoumaru in bewilderment.

She couldn't understand why on earth he would have kept this from her. Why let her worry, and think the worst of him when he was actually out doing something she would have been grateful for? She just couldn't believe he was so against being viewed as kind that he would manufacture mistrust just to throw her off his scent. It was confounding.

"Why wouldn't you just tell me? I was worried sick!" Just the thought of him allowing her to be unnecessarily upset was making her upset all on its own. She could have just been perfectly thrilled this whole time. "I thought you left! I thought..." Well, she didn't really want to admit what she thought.

"I wished to surprise you."

"I hate surprises!" she countered hotly. His face remained passive.

"So you hate it."

"No, I love it!" she yelled back. Damn it. Why did he have to ruin everything? Why did he insist on making easy things hard? The hard things were hard enough. Couldn't he just let her have this? Couldn't he just let her bask in his kindness for once?

"Then it was worth it." He was attempting to guide her down the path of reason, as he was so wont to do. And he would succeed, as usual, so she decided to just give in early. She really did appreciate his gift.

"Yes," she relented, but placed a calming hand over her heart. "Just next time, please; don't surprise me. You're going to kill me."

"Next time?" he asked haughtily, as he straightened his posture enough to look down steeply through half-lidded eyes. "You think I am made of bows, miko? My human shoulders cannot take another week of digging, so you had better hold onto this one better than your last."

His indignation was weak, and obviously so terribly forced. She'd heard enough of the real deal coming from him to easily discern the difference. If anything, she swore he sounded somewhat insecure that she might refuse it, and it was his way of masking that very irrational fear.

"It will never leave my sight," she assured him. Thankful eyes began to well with tears, and he suddenly found himself faced with the very real possibility that this woman would fall to pieces right here in the craftsman's cabin. "They're going to have to bury me with it. Thank you."

Those fears were shelved immediately as pride and pleasure swelled within him, knocking out any other pesky reaction to this woman's acceptance and joy. It was a bonus that she seemed to gather herself then. She looked like she wanted to hug him, and he was torn between hoping she would, and praying she wouldn't. Not here, not with... witnesses. He smirked warmly.

"Thank me by shooting each of those arrows into a tiger's skull, would you?" She realized why he did this for her, why this was so important to handle before they reached the compound. But old insecurities wormed their way back into her foundation. Because she wanted more than anything to help him with this; she knew what was riding on it. Without his demon power, he would rely on her to do her part in this uphill battle they were facing.

She hadn't felt this inadequate since her first months in the past, when she could hardly use a bow or pull her weight. When she needed to be saved, and couldn't do any saving. She couldn't afford to blow it, and she had only a few hours of traveling before showtime. She began to panic.

"I haven't been practicing," she admitted nervously. He noticed her breathing become quicker. "I'm out of practice."

"There's a tree out back, have at her." When the beaver youkai returned from the back room, she was not empty handed. Stopping beside the miko, she leaned down to hand the sitting woman a finely made companion quiver, complete with a full set of hand-carved arrows. Kagome looked from them, and panned up to the female they were connected to, only to find the demon's attention aimed at the man beside her. "While you're out there, you can show her the well that has kept you from her. He worked tirelessly for four days until it was complete. Was quite eager to return to you." As she winked at Kagome, Sesshoumaru grabbed the quiver.

"To my mission," he corrected irritably, a sudden scowl marring his handsome features. He knew what the older youkai was doing.

She declined to acknowledge his reply, instead turning back to apparently return to whatever it was she had been doing before the demanding couple intruded on her homestead.

"Don't leave without coming back to see me," she ordered. "I made something for you."

"Something else?" Sesshoumaru asked, rising from his knee. Once he did, he shouldered the arrows, and aided the miko to her feet while she grabbed her new bow.

"This one's for you." And then she was gone, leaving the duo to go off on their own in search of the practice tree out back.

It was easily located; the dozens of nicks and gouges told of this particular tree's duty receiving practice blows from various weapons. Several sawed off branches also relayed that it had generously donated of itself for a number of projects taken on by the professional woodworker.

Kagome took a moment more to marvel at her new bow before taking aim. Despite its appearance, it was actually very light. Surprisingly so, given the strength and quality of the wood, and even considerably lighter than the others she had carried around so far.

The handle fit perfectly in her grip. Comfortable and secure, she was amazed at how well her subjectively small hand seemed to mold into the wood like wearing a glove. It made holding it far less taxing, as her previous weapons were made for someone considerably larger and stronger than she.

But the real surprise came after she finally took her first shot. The taut bow string was thicker than she was used to, but no more difficult to pull back. When she released it, however, her artisanal arrow cut through the air like a rocket. More akin to shooting a bullet, Kagome got the thrilling sensation of firing a crossbow into the poor tree trunk.

"Woah, what's this string made of?" she wondered, holding it closer for inspection. Looking to Sesshoumaru, he only shrugged, unable to identify the exact material used without his demon senses.

He watched on as she fired every arrow, and his smirk grew more sinister with each ensuing shot. She hadn't missed a beat. She was ready. They were ready.

When she was done, he retrieved her arrows for her – not a one misspent – and organized them neatly into the cylinder as she raked her eyes over her new acquisition in admiration, and mounting curiosity.

She'd discovered that the other side of the flat panel was engraved with the crest she recognized was displayed on the shoulder of his trademark silk haori. It was even easier to verify, as he was wearing his usual clothing this very moment. He'd decided there was no point in hiding his identity from those who had already seen him transformed, and announced that when making his attack, he desired his victims to know exactly who was killing them.

With that mystery solved, she lifted her roving eyes to the front of the bow to inspect the unfamiliar markings more intently. Upon closer inspection, she was able to interpret that she was looking at an alphabet of some kind, or at least pieces of one. But in all of her studies, she had never encountered anything resembling it even remotely.

"What language is that?" she asked him, finally giving up. "I can't' read it."

"It is ancient youkai tongue." He lifted his hand to lightly brush against the beautifully etched demon lettering, and let his lips curve proudly upward. "That is your name right there."

"All that is my name?" The markings ran nearly the entire length of the bow. She couldn't help but wonder if some descriptors, or a title was added to spruce up her common birth name. "Kind of a difficult language, huh?"

"Very," he confirmed, and removed his fingers. "If you are not taught at birth – and a youkai – you cannot speak it."

He seemed pleased to share this with her, and she was very eager to learn more.

"What does it sound like?" she asked, enjoying the contented smile he leveled her with. Getting lost in it.

"When I change back, I will tell you."

She felt the urge to flinch, but he didn't seem upset at the reminder that he couldn't achieve his demon form, nor the language that accompanied it. Still, embarrassed at her thoughtless slip, she drew attention to the other side of the bow – the side that would face her when shooting it.

"What about inside?" She touched the markings there. They were obviously the same language, but different than what was written on the front. "What does this say?"

He looked puzzled a moment, and she thought he might not be able to read it. He narrowed his eyes in the way he did when carefully considering something.

"It is...ah... difficult to..." His expression changed, and she gaped at the unfamiliar sight of him trying to explain something, but having great difficulty. He floundered a bit, but seemed to decide on an answer. "In youkai tongue, it sounds much more poetic," he explained as a preamble. "It roughly translates as 'strong alone, stronger together.'"

She understood. Motivational mantra, perhaps? The prospect elicited a soft warmth to course pleasingly through her bloodstream.

"Just like the ants," she recalled from their conversation that night in the kitchen. It was by far not the most memorable part of that evening.

She blushed when he smiled back, and wondered if he was recalling the steamy incident too. But when he reached into her quiver and plucked put a random arrow, he directed her focus to a small carving on the arrowhead that she had to squint to see.

She could hardly believe it when she was able to make out a tiny rendering of an ant. Each little arrow, doing their part to achieve something great.

"You thought of everything," she mused, somewhat exasperated. "This is so personal."

He returned the sharp-tipped ammunition to rest with its brethren, and shouldered the full case for her.

"Typically, these commissions tend to be," he explained. "It is said to make them more formidable, but I suspect that is just superstition."

"So, you're superstitious?" she ventured, but it came off more as mockery. Recognizing that, he smiled back with his trademark superiority.

"I would put it as 'traditional.'"

"Semantics," she declared dismissively, and went back to admiring her bow. He watched on with fondness for a moment, but couldn't help obsessing over her objections to his secrecy regarding the commission.

"Did you truly think I was off frolicking about when I have an attack on the horizon?"

Sometimes, it seemed no matter what he did for her, or how often he proved himself, he would never be able to quash that indestructible seed of doubt that threatened to jeopardize her trust in him. He had given her more than enough reason to place her unconditional faith in him, but despite her assurances to the contrary, she always faltered at the slightest test of that trust.

His brother must have really done a number on her, to render her to such a pessimistic and suspicious state. Had he but gotten to her first...

He regretted snuffing out her contentment with his question when he saw her features alter. It took her a moment to answer, and when she did, she still wasn't looking at him.

"No. I didn't." He supposed he was happy for that at least. She finally met his eyes to find them patiently, and raptly seeking hers. "I didn't know what to think. It wasn't like you just to leave without telling me, and then keep it a secret." He could tell she was being honest, and he was grateful for that. But confused as he was, he desperately wished to understand her better. He was resigned to keep trying until he did, and wondered if he ever would.

"Guess I've gotten kind of entitled, haven't I?"

She always did this. Was always rightfully ashamed after doubting him only to learn her fears were baseless. And despite that, she would do it again. She wanted to trust him, and knew that she should. Something inside her was just broken. It wouldn't let her.

If she weren't worth it, he would abandon any attempts to make her see otherwise. But she wasn't a lost cause. And she wasn't the only one who would benefit from his interference. He got something out of it too. It wasn't her fault. And it wasn't unendurable. She was well worth it.

With an internal sigh of resignation, he took in her apologetic features, and offered her a small, but genuine smile. He reached forward to run his long fingers through the locks of hair at her temple, fanning them out over her ear just so he could tuck them back into place again.

"Perhaps," he conceded. "Though perhaps it is justified. We have not been apart often as of late."

He inwardly preened when she closed her eyes at the soothing contact, and leaned into it.

"I know. I got accustomed to having you around. Especially at night." That was when the weight of his absence hit her the hardest. Those nights when he held her protectively in his arms, keeping her warm and fussing over her comfort, made the subsequent nights without him all the lonelier.

That first night in the village, when they had been gifted a hut to share, she was surprised and disappointed when he took the bedroll they had given him and set himself up on the opposite side of the hut. She wondered why he'd sought to distance himself after the previous couple of nights holding her close. And then, when he left for all those nights, she had begun to take it personally. He'd still not opted to bed down with her since leaving the river.

"I miss sleeping with you." She blushed, and shyly met his eyes once more. "I mean... you know what I mean."

"I do." Her bashful innocence never ceased to amuse him, though he should probably only be annoyed. But as always, he found himself leaning in like a moth to a flame, and he had no desire whatsoever to resist. "I suppose I assumed you had been doing so lately out of necessity, as opposed to preference."

Just as he was, she leaned helplessly closer.

"Maybe it started out that way," she mused dreamily, "but that's how they getcha."

He made a point to never dwell on her strange little sayings for too long, but he rarely needed to. It was funny how at times, not a single word was required between them and they communicated as though through some advanced form of telepathy. And at others, even perfectly articulated thoughts and feelings could not be relayed no matter how much they tried.

They were touching now, chest to chest, as if pulled in by gravity, unclear to either whether the contact was intentional. Then his hands moved to rest on her upper's arms, while her one free palm splayed itself on his hard chest to seek out his heart.

"Are you saying that you wish to share a bed with This One, even when circumstances do not demand it?" He thought he'd gotten the gist of it, but the way she shifted her eyes, outwardly displaying her attempt to gather her thoughts and deliver them in a way he could understand, had him second guessing his comprehension.

"I'm saying," she started carefully, after brief consideration, "that circumstances have become so that sharing a bed with you is now a necessity. Does that make sense?"

Her bold confession left him raw, and perhaps more exposed than she even allowed herself to be in that moment. The implications were made painfully clear to him, and he was stunned at the sensation her heart wrenching flattery shot through him.

He could barely lift his voice enough to answer her, but he managed a soft reply.

"Yes."

"What about you?" she fairly demanded. He noted the hope in her tone, and retained no small measure himself that his honest answer would please her. Or at the very least, not hurt her.

"It is still a preference," he informed her gently. "But it is a preference."

He didn't need anything, or anyone. No matter what, Sesshoumaru could get through this life with nothing but his honor and his name. If anything, his recent troubles have more than proved that theory.

But if given the choice, he'd recently realized, he would get through it with her by his side. He wanted her. It was a rather large concession on his part, but he knew she often didn't see things as he did. He only hoped that she took his admission the way he intended it to be; the highest compliment he could deign at the moment.

When he felt her bow-filled arms slide around his middle, and pull him snugly against the cheek she cuddled into his chest, he knew he succeeded.

"That's good enough for me." He wrapped one arm around her shoulders to trap her against him, and used his other hand to cradle the back of her head. He petted her hair, and rubbed her back, and rocked them slightly where they stood. In return she closed her eyes, and squeezed him tighter, and tried not to knock him in the back of the head with the bow he'd given her.

"You must learn to trust me. Even if you do not understand why."

"Because it might be a surprise?" she laughed out in that way that she did when she was struggling to hold in her tears. That was when he had to be at his firmest with her, yet somehow at the same time, his gentlest. He looked down where she was burying herself deeper into him.

"Because whatever my reasons may be, I am acting in your best interests. I would never do anything to harm you."

"Unless harming me is in my best interests?" It was the bitter reality of their relationship; his predicament, theirs. He could taste her resentment as if it were his own, because it was. He was relieved she at least was beginning to grasp it. It wouldn't change anything, but at least she would know that it nothing to do with her, or any shortage of regard on his part.

"So you do understand."

They held each other a moment more, unheeding of their friends who were waiting, or any beaver youkai who might be watching, and cursed the gods without fear... though this was admittedly a poor time to jump on their shit list.

As she often was, Kagome would be the one to break the weighty silence.

"Did you really tell her I was beautiful?" She pulled back enough to take in his considerate features, and he relaxed his hold.

"Of course not," he offered coldly, but she wasn't duped in the slightest. "I merely... described you accurately."

She smiled up at him, and released him from her hug. He seemed reluctant to do the same, but complied.

"Why? For what purpose?"

She noticed him stiffen a bit, his telltale sign of discomfort.

"Usually, when a gift is commissioned, the recipient is present so she can make it to your specifications. Without you there, I was forced to improvise."

At her questioning stare, he took her empty hand in his. Then, he lifted his other to run his fingers over the expanse of her palm, and her whole body sung.

"That bow is made perfectly for your hands."

She knew he was right. The way it melded to her so perfectly as if it was fitted. The perfect size, the perfect weight. The perfect resistance of the bow string. This was a customed weapon, made just for her. And he'd done it all from memory.

He must really be paying attention to know her body so well. It elicited a burning desire to let him know more of it, all of it, and see what he could do with that knowledge. Subtly as she could, she squeezed her thighs together as she remembered the last time they explored each other's bodies, and how wonderful it felt.

She'd made him a weapon that day, and he'd killed for her. She smiled as she recalled their playful banter when she'd given him the spear.

"Indeed," she began haughtily, and removed her hand from his. He knew when he was being mocked. She used her newfound freedom to lift her bow, and inspect it as he had done with his spear. "Beautiful toolmarks, perfectly reinforced... a formidable weapon. What do I owe for a fine bow such as this?"

He smirked as his ostentatious assessment was thrown back at him almost verbatim. Strong fingers wrapped firmly around the wooden rib as he loomed close enough to put his lips near her ear. His low, threatening tones purred into her skin, and encouraged her to press her thighs once again.

"I have already told you; the blood of as many tiger youkai as you can manage."

As promised, he took her to the well he had solitarily dug and stoned. It was not wide, but fairly deep, and she only hoped he had not overtaxed himself. It would all be for naught if he couldn't summon his strength for battle.

Hanging above it was a bucket on a levy, and the structure that would hold it. Apparently, the little mouse from earlier was not an assistant, but an apprentice, and had built the addition once Sesshoumaru was finished.

Before leaving they returned inside, as per their host's request, and Kagome remembered the question she'd saved from her target practice.

"What is that bow string made from? It's really got some juice."

When the beaver replied 'tiger guts,' Kagome thought she was just being cute. But it turns out, cat's guts were used quite commonly to make instrument strings. And with the extra benefit of demonic youki, the tiger's sacrifice increased her weapon's power, and would ensure poetic justice was sweet.

As promised, the woodworker had a little something for Sesshoumaru as well, and Kagome was surprised to find it was not made of wood.

Dragon scales, not incredibly different from the ones adorning the shirt he'd stolen from the castle, had been fashioned together and constructed to make a formidable set of armor, and the youkai eagerly strapped it on him. It was nothing like what he had worn as a demon, thankfully, as he never would have been able to walk around in it. It was smaller, lighter, less bulky. It sat atop his shoulders, and only came down to about his bottom ribs, if not a little higher. It was thin, and flexible, but strong, as established when the demon took a quick stab at him, only to have the dagger knocked brutally from her grip at the contact.

It fit him perfectly, much to the beaver's pleasure and pride, and though not impenetrable, would make strides in protecting his heart and his lungs, and all the important stuff around them.

Sesshoumaru expressed no gratitude, but Kagome got the feeling he was pleased with the acquisition, if not simply for the fact that he hadn't wrenched the thing off him at the first opportunity, so she thanked the youkai on his behalf. She thanked her again for her own weapon, and expressed hopes in perhaps crossing paths again someday, before Sesshoumaru finally insisted they leave. The others were probably starting to worry.

"Long live the Western Lands." The beaver pounded her right fist over her heart, in what Kagome assumed was some sort of secret handshake she had not been made aware of, and received a nod of acknowledgement from Sesshoumaru in response. He ushered Kagome out in front of him with bow in hand, while he shouldered her quiver for her. Before he followed her out, the beaver youkai loomed close to issue one last request.

"Cut one of those bastard's throat good for me."

He nodded in agreement, and attempted to leave once more. As he turned to step through the doorway, however, her voice halted his progress yet again.

"You've chosen well. I was starting to wonder if you'd ever come to me for your commission."

He spotted that Kagome had stopped to admire one of the many gorgeously crafted structures out front, so he took the time to turn back to the demon.

"These are extenuating circumstances," he reminded her, his irritation quite clear. "I have already explained my dire predicament as if it wasn't plainly obvious. My intention was to arm a soldier, not woo a mate."

"Why can't it be both?" she asked innocently, cutting her gaze over his armored shoulder to the woman right outside. Knowing, playful eyes found his once more. "She obviously accepted."

But his glare was hard, and unamused. Insistent. This didn't seem to intimidate her.

"You know why."

"No, I really don't." His menacing tone had no effect either, and she seemed to condemn his whole body with her roving glare. "I'm starting to doubt whether you do either."

His eyes narrowed, but he said nothing, and the beaver relented out of sheer frustration. She knew how stubborn, and thick-headed dogs could be.

"Well, I hope she is a stellar soldier, because I won't make you another."

She started to turn from him, but the return of his icy timbre demanded acquiescence.

"You will do as you are told."

She boldly held his gaze; it could be seen as a challenge. Were she not who she was, he likely would have met it. He hadn't spoken to her like that in such a long time. But, then again, he hadn't seen her in just as long. Perhaps his humanity had let her forget.

"I take it back. Your father was much more charming."

He leaned in closer and lowered his voice, and sharpened his glare distastefully.

"You see where that got him," he sneered, and left to finally retrieve his miko.

* * *

At long last, the eclectic search party made it to the tiger's compound in the North, and they made it there together. Though everyone maintained their composure, a collective inward sigh of relief was palpable within the traveling camp. It was a difficult journey, and not without its trials, but when they'd concocted this pie-in-the-sky plan back in Inuyasha's village, there was an unspoken understanding that the odds were against them, and there was a good chance not all of them would make it there.

But beating the odds had always been in their wheelhouse. So after a long, tiresome, depleting trip to the top of Sesshoumaru's map, they had finally reached their destination; the end of the road.

They weren't out of the woods yet, but if Rin was here and they could wrest her away from her captors, all that was left would be to go home. And after almost a month sneaking through unfriendly territories in the dead of winter, home was sounding pretty damn good right about now.

If she wasn't there... well, they were all just praying to the kami that she was.

But they couldn't celebrate just yet. They still had a battle to win, and from the size of this compound, it could be a quite crowded one.

They'd managed to creep up to their vantage point undetected, as far as they could tell at least. No tigers had yet been spotted, but they had a clear view down into their difficultly accessible fort. At the bottom of a steep valley, surrounded by high, unforgiving canyon peaks was a large collection of several structures clustered together to form a compound.

Were it not for Kirara, they never would have been able to get down there in one piece, but a bout of suspicion made the rounds when they realized just how out in the open the establishment appeared to be. There were no walls, no gates. No magic even to shield it from sight. Unless of course, this _was_ the magic, and it was hiding an even bigger, more fearsome stronghold. But for now, they were going to go with no magic.

Most troubling though, was the lack of evidence of any guards. There were several guard _posts_ littered throughout the valley, but none of them looked to be occupied. No one making rounds, no one doing patrols. If anyone was here, they were down hiding in the compound itself. Even looking down into the large property from above, there didn't appear to be anyone roaming around outside, or lingering out in the open. It was somewhat disconcerting.

It was possible that the tigers were so confident in their discrete, isolated location that they foolishly saw no need to guard it, and were lounging about inside within a swell of hubris. That would be a favorable outcome.

Another, however, was that they had seen them, or been tipped off to their pending arrival, and were lying in wait for the pack to make themselves known, poised to attack at the first scent of human. If so, they were in big trouble.

They'd hoped to find a somewhat undisturbed operation. A regular day for them with nothing out of the ordinary. To be fair, none of them knew what a clan of tigers considered to be normal. They were just going to have to go down there and find out.

Low and still and reasonably quiet, Inuyasha's pack had taken their time to observe the compound, and the time had come to make a plan.

"Do you see anything?" Inuyasha asked his brother, who was straining for a glimpse of anything down below. Beneath a tree on the crest of a small hill, the small group knelt low as they peered out over the distance. Sesshoumaru's mouth was set in a frown.

"No," he replied without looking at him. "But your eyes are better." He was clearly uncomfortable admitting such a thing aloud, but everyone knew it was the truth.

"I don't see shit," the hanyou concurred. "You think it's magic?" Even with his demon eyesight, he'd yet to detect sign of anything living and breathing. It already didn't seem right, and it was making him edgy.

He should at least be able to sense a demonic aura, but for any advanced youkai worth his salt, concealing it was no difficult task. Spells were also fairly common.

"Perhaps. If so, it is undetectable."

"They could just be inside those buildings," Miroku ventured from the half-demon's other side.

"Or hiding," Sango threw in, her hand already clutching her giant boomerang tightly and ready to go at a moment's notice. Unlike the others looking downward, her nervous attention kept straying over her shoulder to scan their surroundings. "Do you think they sensed us?"

"It is possible, though they likely would have attacked as opposed to hiding." Going by his own wealth of experience in demon warfare, Sesshoumaru was subscribed to the notion that if any of those tiger youkai had managed to anticipate their approach, they would have been accosted well before encroaching on their perimeter, and dealt with early. You just don't let the enemy meander to your front gates, no matter how confident you are in your power.

"It could be a trap," Inuyasha added. It seemed to be a common method employed lately, at least against many of the demons he himself had fought. "Someone could've figured it out and tipped them off."

"Maybe they aren't there," Kagome suggested. They hadn't seen any evidence of a youkai for miles, and her miko blood wasn't indicating that there was. She turned to her hanyou friend hopefully, leaning around Sesshoumaru to address him. "Can you scent them, Inuyasha?"

"All I can smell is fucking cat stink." The way he wrinkled his nose spoke clearly of his distaste. "The place is saturated. It's too hard to tell how many there are."

That was something, at least. This was the tiger's compound that they'd found.

Sesshoumaru's eyes hadn't left the structures, as he seemed to be waiting anxiously for any sign of demon activity... or any activity. In uncertain times like this, he knew you had to prepare for the worst, and hope it wouldn't be as bad as you thought.

"We must plan for a full camp," he informed them solemnly. But Inuyasha was getting restless. He wasn't the type to sit around and make plans. He was ready to get this show on the road, so he attempted to speed things along. He turned to his brother.

"So what plan are we going with? We sneaking in ninja style, or swords swinging?" He knew what he voted for, but this was Sesshoumaru's mission.

"Stealth is not on our side with this layout and their cover. The latter may be our best bet."

That was just what he wanted to hear, and a sinister smirk dominated his features at the green light to pull out his sword and start cleaning house.

"That's my specialty anyway."

"Indeed," Sesshoumaru agreed with a nod, for once pleased with his half-brother's propensity for making a brash and brazen entrance. If they could go big and catch them off guard, it could very well work in their favor.

"Inuyasha, you take Sango through the front. Miroku and I will use Kirara to enter from above." Apparently, when instructing soldiers for battle was when Sesshoumaru saw fit to respectfully refer to everyone by name. "There appears to be no one outside, so enter each building at your discretion. Let instinct guide you, but make an attempt at efficiency." Inuyasha watched him point to the main entrance. "If you find nothing upon entry, head west throughout the compound until you do, and we shall head east." He used his hands to gesture where he wanted everyone to go. When Sesshoumaru turned to the others, they nodded in understanding. "If you cannot get answers, kill indiscriminately, but be mindful of your wind scar. I do not have Tenseiga for protection, and Rin may be in there, so remember that."

"Got it." It would make the whole thing a piece of cake if he could simply unleash his signature attack down onto the unsuspecting valley below, but Inuyasha was not unmindful of collateral damage. He'd had plenty of practice slaying troublesome demons within villages that had innocent bystanders about.

Sesshoumaru was still looking down below, but it was clear his thoughts had turned inward. Inuyasha could see his gears turning as he played out possible scenarios in his mind.

"If she is not there, we need prisoners to torture," he decreed simply, as if it were an everyday occurrence. Knowing him, it probably had been. "Unless they start talking early, then simply kill them afterwards."

"Damn."

He didn't know why his brother's cold-hearted instructions surprised him; they really shouldn't have. But after seeing this previously unfathomable other side of him over these past few weeks, his natural cruelty was not at the front of his mind. It was hard to believe someone could harbor such a propensity for carnage and vitriol, while possessing the capacity for the thoughtful compassion he had seen him display as of late. He supposed he had to admire his range.

But it was an eventually he had to be prepared for. If Rin was not there, they had to use whoever was inside as their resource to finding her. Somebody had to know something, and then they would at least have a lead to follow rather than blindly trapsing throughout Japan, rudderless.

"But kill if you must; you must protect yourself first and foremost." After getting Inuyasha's agreement, Sesshoumaru turned to make eye contact with every other member of his party. "They will all be dead eventually; we simply must gather what we need from them beforehand."

Maybe that was how it was so easy for him to kill without feeling. To Sesshoumaru, these guys were already corpses. They just didn't know it yet.

Inuyasha continued to watch gruesome scenarios play out in his brother's eyes, and he could no longer stifle his curiosity.

"If you find the guys, what are you gonna do to them?" It was something he had been wondering ever since embarking on this journey. He felt he was finally within his rights to ask. The way his brother's eyes darkened and facial muscles went slack sent a haunting chill all the way to his toes. If these guys were down there, they were toast, no matter if he was human.

"That entirely depends." His deep, menacing voice came out quiet and sure. But the hanyou opted to try again.

"Say you get Rin and capture them alive-"

"I have enjoyed my fantasies, but I will not know until the time is upon me." He knew what his brother was asking, but he didn't have any better answer for him than that. "There are too many factors at play to give you an accurate estimation. The most important thing is to grab her, and leave with our lives. Beyond that, we shall see."

"What about me?"

His whole sinister countenance disappeared the moment he heard Kagome's voice. It was hard to tell if he sought to correct himself in her presence, or if her very presence ushered away the unpleasantness of his aura. Either way, she had a softening effect on him.

"Kagome, you will remain here." But his gentle command was not answered in kind.

"What?" she seethed indignantly. "No way! After all you told me-"

"I need you to protect us from an ambush," he clarified, and instantly tempered her outrage. "If we get inside, and any demons advance on us, you must use your arrows to purify them." He pointed down the valley again. "If you see any danger from this vantage point, you must eliminate it. Do you understand?"

She was the only one with an effective long-range weapon, and a powerful one at that. He would have no other watching his back, and picking off any youkai who attempted to follow them into the compound and trap them. Also, from here, she could watch the battle unfold. She was going to be their sniper while they fought the front lines. This seemed to satisfy her.

"Yes, as long as you aren't just trying to keep me out of harm's way."

"I assure you; it is merely a bonus." She tried to look admonishing, but she'd never seen him pull off a boyish smile before, and she actually broke into a grin. He never looked more like his brother than he had in that moment. "I am just as uncomfortable leaving you behind. I do not like you being far from me, or the rest of the pack. But I need you here, and I trust your skills. Understood?"

He had turned his back on the others at this point to face her completely from his kneeling position. Though her friends were visible over his shoulder, they remained distant and out of focus, and all she could see was him.

"Yes."

They shared a meaningful stare that no one else would dare intrude upon. A million things went unsaid between them, but were easily discerned.

He wanted nothing more than to kiss her in that moment. To pull her to him, and assure that he would return to her side. But this wasn't the time for that, and he refused to engage in a display that hinted at any uncertainty of success. He did not plan for failure. Ever.

This was not the last time they would speak, and they would have plenty of chances to celebrate their victory later. Perhaps when this was over, they could congratulate each other privately, and revel in the life they had won. It was something else to fight for, another spoil to earn. He would fight all the fiercer for it.

"Please, guard yourself." She could feel the honest and unconcealed plea as he begged her openly in front of her friends to not be reckless with her own life. Because doing so would be acting careless with his own, and all of theirs. "And the rest of us."

"I promise."

He didn't want to leave her; it nearly killed him to do so. But he had to trust her. He did trust her, and he was going to show her. His life was in her hands, and he didn't question his choice for a second.

"Good girl," he smiled approvingly. He pointed down to the cluster of buildings once more. "Keep your eyes down there, but your senses back there." He pointed back behind her then, into the canyon at her back. While watching them, she would have to keep her keen focus abreast of what was coming up behind her, and all at once. It wouldn't be easy, but she could do it. She nodded in understanding. He rose to his feet as they all followed suit, but her uncertainty forced a nervous question.

"When do I come join you?"

He saw the fear in her eyes, and it was not unexpected. She let him run his fingers through her thick hair and pull her closer, tilting her face up to his.

"Let your instincts guide you."

Foolish, immature yearnings wordlessly willed him to close those last few inches and claim her mouth for his own. Just like before embarking on the bridge, she wanted proof of his regard, in a romantic display that left no question of the deep devotion they both knew was there. Just in case...

But then, disappointingly, he simply released her and turned back to the rest of the pack.

"Are you ready?" he asked them. To answer, Sango jumped on her lover's back, while Miroku readied Kirara for flight.

Kagome watched all of her friends prepare to leave her, and struggled for something to say. Wishing them luck implied there was a chance at failing, and she didn't want to draw attention to that notion, or even acknowledge it. They would win. She wanted to show her confidence in them.

She'd missed her chance with Inuyasha and Sango, as in an instant he was already racing with all his might down towards the front entrance. The sudden urgency that inspired had her lips moving ahead of her brain.

"Sesshoumaru."

He had just mounted the fire cat to take his place behind the monk, when Kagome's urgent call drew his attention back over.

Seeing him up there on his steed, sword drawn and ready to go to war, he just looked so perfectly comfortable. Right at home, regardless of being mortal. He hadn't looked so much like himself since his digression into humanity. She smiled wide at the sight.

"Go easy on them."

That request managed to startle him into an incredulous posture, offended at the very notion.

"Not a chance."

But a smirk broke through his war mask, and she let it wash over her just before the neko youkai took to the sky, and flew them quickly down below, roaring fire all the way.

Their terrible speed would see them breaching enemy territory in a matter of seconds, so she frantically fumbled to get herself into position. Backing up against the tree for a shield, Kagome removed her quiver and placed it down at her side. She readied an arrow immediately, and held her bow in place.

After her first arrow was nocked, she managed to look down just in time to see Kirara land in the middle of what appeared to be some sort of courtyard. The open area lay in the center of the compound, surrounded by the mass of buildings, and currently occupied by only her friends.

Her breathing picked up as she set her bow to aim. Seeing nothing yet, she simply kept her arrow pointed carefully at her packmates, keeping them in her crosshairs and poised to protect at the first sign of trouble. She watched the men dismount; Sesshoumaru with his sword in hand, and Miorku holding the barrier over his cursed hand, prepared to unleash it the moment it was required.

At the same time, she could see the unmistakable red of Inuyasha's fire rate robes blurring in through the front of the property with Tetsusaiga shoved out in front and a large boomerang at his back. Once he entered, however, he was out of her sights, as he'd disappeared into the first of a series of structured dwellings.

The miko continued to scan, looking for any sign of movement. But when the men and fire cat also ran into another row of buildings, everyone was now officially out of view. She didn't like that.

She didn't like not being able to see what was going on. She tried to strain her hearing, or let her aura seep out in search of theirs for some clue as to what was occurring beneath her notice, but it was all beyond her range.

Her desire was to flee, to run down there and chase after them, but Sesshoumaru wanted her up here helping from above, so that's where she would stay.

Several minutes passed anxiously by, and her pack had yet to reemerge. She did her best to swallow the unsettling feelings that arose as a result, and tried to spend her pent-up energy wisely. Remembering what he'd told her, she let her senses bleed out behind her, reaching out desperately, and determinedly with her aura in hopes of colliding with any opposing force that might mean to advance on her friends, but once again, she'd come up empty.

In the absence of action, her meandering mind filled the heavy holes with perilous possibilities. Threatening thoughts of treacherous trouble. But to be fair, their position was precarious.

They say idle hands are the devil's plaything, but idle thoughts are his lifeblood. Not knowing what was currently taking place had to be infinitely worse than whatever was. At least, she hoped so. After the seventh sickening scenario, she commenced cursing her creativity.

The minutes continued to tick by at a snail's pace, and when it began to tremble from strain, she finally relaxed her arm and lowered her bow. Something was wrong. It had been too long, and nothing had come out of the compound since her friends had gone in. Not them, not a tiger youkai, nothing.

She was able to last another minute before she decided she'd had enough. Sesshoumaru told her to follow her instincts, and every one of them was screaming at her to run down the valley, and make sure her friends were okay. So with bow and arrow in hand, Kagome rose from her spot, and swiftly made her way down into the fort.

She still had an eye out for danger, but by this point, she was fairly confident there was nobody watching from their post. Without Kirara's aid, it took a little longer to get herself down there, but with adrenaline as her copilot, she managed impressively well. She flew through the open concept entryway, and the first thing she noticed was two unmanned guard stations; one on either side.

Each was a precursor to an indistinct row of buildings, unmarked, and unclear as to what their purpose may be. They could be dwellings, or storage, or some sort of clubhouse, she really couldn't say. All she remembered was that Inuyasha was told to go left, while Sesshoumaru would be heading right. Going forward would take her to the courtyard, and she already knew there was nobody out there, so momentary indecision gave her pause. Which way to go?

After mulling it over briefly, she'd decided that her half demon friend might have an advantage over the two humans, so she made a split-second decision to go right. But just before she took off, a very loud crashing sound occurred in the other direction, and she immediately started running toward it.

Her arrow was nocked again, and held out in front of her as she entered into the first building. She entered cautiously, unwilling to let her haste override her better judgement again and get her into trouble. But upon entry, a quick perusal informed her that the structure was empty. It looked like a kitchen of some kind. Various cooking supplies were left strewn about, as well as certain ingredients she'd recognized as favorites among demons she had encountered. They looked rifled through, or perhaps simply left out? It wasn't important, so she cut through the area and made her way over to the next structure.

This one appeared to be a dining hall of some kind. Made sense, right next to the kitchen. Several tables were nicely set, and provided with ample seating. Aside from a few teapots and various matching cups, however, this room was also empty.

She went along like that, making her way through each separated building as she following the destructive noises. Crashing and banging and the sound of things breaking became louder the closer she got, until she found herself at last inside the final structure on this side.

Upon entering the first room in this building, she was relieved to find the familiar faces of her friends standing unharmed off to the side. Her tightly coiled tension left her with a heavy sigh, and she lowered her bow to rush over to them.

The violent sounds were still occurring, and painfully loud in this room. With each mysterious impact, the walls rattled and shook, making the floors vibrate like a tuning fork as both the structural integrity and architect's good name became compromised under the strain. It was clear this building had another floor, and whatever was going on was happening right above their heads. Kagome was confused, as none of them seemed concerned with the thrashing sounds, but noted that each of her packmates did look dejected, if not somewhat uncomfortable. All accept one, who was still notably absent.

"What happened?" she demanded, running up to Inuyasha's side. "What's going on?"

"Keh, nothing."

The large room they were standing in appeared to be some sort of rec room, for lack of a better term. Several large, luxurious cushions and furs were strewn strategically about for comfort lounging, and looked to be the place you came to relax in your down time. Other buildings she'd passed through all looked to have their specific use; a conference room, a dojo, a library... And she hadn't even been to the other side yet. But each one, just like the one before it, was completely bereft of life – human or otherwise.

"Nothing?" she repeated, and looked to the others for confirmation. The only answer she got was from Kirara who began licking her paw, and Miroku who unhelpfully flopped face down onto a large pile of plush cushions. When she noticed brand new dragon armor discarded thoughtlessly against the wall, she began to panic.

"Where's Sesshoumaru?" Another loud thud reverberated through the ceiling, followed by the sound of something smashing into a million pieces. She pointed up above them. "What's that noise? Is he fighting someone? Why aren't you guys helping?"

"Trust me you do not want to go in there," Inuyasha warned, and made his way over to claim a pile of soft fur padding for himself. "He's livid. Just let him blow off some steam."

He collapsed onto his ass, crossing his legs as he laid his unsheathed sword across his lap to inspect it for damage.

"What happened?" she demanded again, following him to where he sat. Sango had reattached her weapon to her back, and was proceeding to assist the neko in grooming, picking dirt out of her fur and untangling a few unruly patches.

"I told you, nothing," he repeated, slightly exasperated. "There's nobody here."

"No One? Anywhere?" How could that be? Kagome's inquiring eyes made another trip around the room, only to become distraught when nobody refuted his claim. She turned back to him. "But I thought you smelled cats."

"I did," he insisted with a bewildered shrug. "I do. But its stale." Realization dawned, causing Kagome to finally return her arrow to its quiver and shoulder her weapon. Doing so freed her up to rub both frustrated hands down the length of her face. She stifled a groan. "From a distance, I can't tell how recent it is, and there used to be a lot of them here, so its strong."

His explanation was enough to put the pieces into place. This was bad.

They were prepared for the possibility of Rin not being here, but not to find no one at all. Sesshoumaru was relying on torture to get any information he could – if not an outright location – from the unlucky inhabitants of this compound. But with nothing to go on...

This was the end of the line, their final destination. Beyond this compound, they had nothing planned as far as going forward. Aside from finding her dead, this was the worst possible outcome for the travel-weary packmates. At this rate, they were never going to get home. And Rin's chances were looking increasingly dire.

"What do we do now?" she asked helplessly, hoping he could tell her something, _anything_ hopeful. It was getting harder and harder to put a positive spin on this mission, and the result was wearing her thin.

"That's what he said he was going to figure out," said Inuyasha, pointing skyward. At the same moment, another, especially loud boom from above shook the entire building, and caused a bottle of some sort of demon liquor to tremble off of a nearby shelf and break apart on the floor, making the hanyou wince. "Sounds like it might take a while."

She watched her friends settle in a moment before making a decision, and bolted for the stairway off to the side. Seeing her intention, Inuyasha called after her.

"Kagome, don't-"

"I have to go check on him." Looking around at her friends, she couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed at their defeatist attitude. She could understand getting discouraged, but this was no time to surrender. Sesshoumaru needed them to rally. "Why don't you guys snoop around and see what you can find? Maybe there is something that will lead us to them."

Inuyasha's mocking tone reached her ears before she reached the stairway.

"Keh, look at pack alpha bitch living up to her role. Yes, milady."

The scowl she leveled him with did not have its desired effect.

* * *

By the time she reached the top floor, Sesshoumaru's vicious attack on the innocent room had ceased. Her nerves made her timid, but once she'd caught sight of him, all of her trepidation washed away in an instant.

This floor appeared to be someone's bedroom, and a nice one at that. At least, it had been before the Killing Perfection got his human hands on it. He may not be a demon, but it sure looked like one had torn through this room – after setting a bomb off.

Furniture lay strewn about, cracked and splintered apart from impact. Possessions had been rendered unrecognizable, and unsalvageable in thousands of tiny pieces across the generous layout. The floor was littered with what had once been clothing, but was now nothing more than fine cuts of fabric shredded apart and ripped asunder.

And on the other side of the room through all that carnage, Hurricane Sesshoumaru sat atop a tall futon with his back to her. The mass of soft furs piled atop remained undisturbed, and appeared to be the only thing left undisrupted by his destruction.

She could see him hunched over, head in his hands, and any fear she felt at approaching him in this state disappeared in an instant. She hurried her steps to reach him, careful to avoid tripping over broken furniture and sharp shards of porcelain like they were roots in the forest.

The sounds of glass cracking beneath her shoes must have given her away, because he didn't even have to look up when she stopped to stand at his side.

"I was certain they would be here," his deep voice imparted, his disappointment on full display. "My instincts led us astray."

She claimed a seat beside him, close enough so that their hips were touching, and lifted her hand to rub across his upper back. Her touch didn't win his attention, and she looked down at his elbows digging into his thighs.

"Your instincts were good," she insisted, and moved her far hand over to grasp onto his bicep. "They were here. They just got the slip on us, but we will find them."

"How?" he demanded, finally dropping his hands to slide his gaze over to her. His bangs were left mussy from abuse. "I brought you all the way up here on a hunch, a whim. I put everything into getting us here, only to fail to catch them." She watched as he flexed his fingers impotently, and shifted his focus to his hands. If it were possible, she was sure they would be oozing poison. "They could be anywhere. I... I do not know what to do."

His voice was foreign to her in that moment. He was beyond defeated, he was... lost. His own uncertainty was probably as new to him as it was to her, and she didn't know which one of them was more frightened in that moment. Because he was always so sure of himself, even when the chips were down. His confidence could be annoying at times, but it was also her security blanket. Seeing him look so hopeless, it made her worry that hope might actually be lost.

He had been unflappable until now, despite everything that had happened to him, he never lost sight of his goal. But he'd given it everything he could at this point, and had nothing to show for his efforts. When the rest of them were shaken by doubt, it was always his assurances that had been able to steady them. But it looked like even his confidence had its limits, and it had apparently been wrung dry.

He looked weary and worn thin. For the first time ever, he looked weak. It was terrifying.

"I thank you and your friends for your assistance." She didn't know if it was shame or exhaustion which prevented him from looking at her, but his measured voice startled her with its finality. "You have no idea-"

"What are you doing?" she demanded, and he deigned to offer a glare. Apparently interrupting him was enough to distract him from his helplessness, and earn his focus.

"Expressing my gratitude, miko. You would do well to listen, as I do not bestow it often."

She removed her hand from his back, but kept hold of his left arm as she retreated back a bit.

"You sound like you're giving up, but I know Lord Sesshoumaru would never do that."

He eyed her a moment, and let his gaze travel down to where she still touched him.

"You are correct," he confirmed. "I will never give up. Not until I find her." Something soft reached his eyes when he returned them to her briefly, before removing them again to look out in front of him at apparently nothing in particular. From the quick glimpse she's seen; he looked exhausted. "You, however, and your friends, are dismissed."

"No." She rejected that instantly, shaking her head, but he went on as if he hadn't heard her.

"You must return to your- "

" _No_!"

"Miko!" he all but snarled, and was annoyed when she didn't flinch when he raised his voice. It quickly dissipated into desperation, however, and she didn't miss the plea in his tone. "Listen to me, just this once."

He wasn't expecting her indignant scoff, and was effectively knocked off his game when she leveled it at him aggressively.

" _This_ _once_? Excuse me, but I _always_ listen to you." She could tell he was going to refute that claim, so she dug her nails into his arm more painfully than he would ever admit, effectively stifling him. "Every order, every command. You tell me where to go, I'm there. You say jump, I ask how high." He hadn't been the target of her righteous anger in some time, but the fire in her eyes as she pinned him with it was something he would never get used to, or tire of. It was captivating enough to distract him while she jabbed her bruising finger into chest.

"You tell me to heal myself, or hold Tetsusaiga, or stay back with my bow, I do it!" She leaned in close, and almost had him retreating an inch when she put her spiteful lips beside his ear. "Even when I'm dragging your pants down your thighs, aching for your cock to finally fill me, you tell me to stop, and I fucking do it." His eyes widened noticeably at her assessment, and it knocked him off kilter too much to allow him to become aroused at the memory. But her next lowly-spoken statement was enough to break through and ignite the stirrings of lust deep within him. "Then you stick your hand in my panties tell me to come, what did I do? I came, hard, right in your fucking hand." She released him harshly, leaving him speechless, and probably with a few crescents in his arm courtesy of her fingernails.

"Do not act like I am some petulant, disobedient child. I'm a grown-ass woman, and I have been loyal to you. I followed you all the way up here without ever questioning-"

"And where has that gotten you?" he demanded, putting an end to her tirade. He'd been generous enough with her. "Nearly killed. Stranded in a dangerous province behind enemy territory." His terrifying sneer was aimed at her, but she knew it was really for himself. So was his angry tone that would probably frighten just about anyone else. "You are right, you do obey me. To a fault. Its time you ceased." A regretful look claimed his features then, and she knew her horrified expression was not entirely to blame. He softened his tone, but remained firm as he held her gaze.

"I refuse to lead you any further. I am not fit to do so." She wanted to protest, but he wouldn't give her the chance. "Rin may be lost to me forever, but I will not lose you in a wild goose chase."

He forced himself to look good and long in her eyes. Everything he saw there was all that he needed to remind himself why it was best for her to go. He wanted her with him, but it wasn't in her best interests to remain. He'd taken enough liberties with her safety, and if he didn't stop now, she was going to end up just like Rin. It was only a matter of time.

"Take your friends, and go home, Kagome." The order given as he returned his gaze forward completed her dismissal. "I will travel alone from here."

He didn't know why he expected to feel the furs shift, indicating she had risen to leave. But if not for that, a more reasonable expectation was for her vehement protests to the contrary. When neither occurred, he twisted to find her indeed still seated beside him, defiantly looking away with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Did you not hear me?" he asked her menacingly, as if a precursor to a threat. He was becoming aware how useless such things were when the opposing party was privy to your bluff.

"You said to stop listening to you," she reminded him, still looking away. He scowled, but without looking at him to see it his next observation came off as pouty.

"In not listening, you are listening," he reasoned, and missed her victorious smirk. Over the weeks, she had become an expert in the pastime of arguing with Sesshoumaru. A common ploy of his was to get you lost in the semantics until he either proved himself right, or made you forget your original point. If you knew this and were savvy, it wasn't too hard to deter him.

She threw a look at him over her shoulder, and reveled in his petty irritation.

"That was the last order, I promise."

"Foolish, infuriating woman."

His brow was knit together in annoyance, but it severely slackened when she spun back around, and threw her arms around him too quickly to avoid.

"We will find her; I know we will."

For the second time that day, her cheek was pressed against his chest with her surprisingly strong arms wrapped around his middle. It brought on the most confusing combination of relief and distress that threatened to rip him in two.

If he had to pick what he missed the most about being demon – besides Rin – it would have to be the control he used to have. Over himself, over everyone, all of it. Because it was hard enough trying to determine what was right, but if he couldn't even get his soldiers to follow orders, he realized it didn't really matter what he decided. If they would not obey, there was really nothing he could do anymore. So, resignedly, he lifted his arms, and returned the miko's embrace.

"How can you know?" he finally asked, once he wrapped himself loosely her shoulders.

He could feel her smile against his warming skin, and squeezed a little tighter.

"Because, no one escapes Lord Sesshoumaru's wrath. I have no doubt in my heart that he will get his man." And then she squeezed him tighter too. "I trust you completely. I believe in you."

She loosened her grip just enough to pull back and let him see her face, and when she did, she could see the surrender in his own. She could only feel relief because his white flag waved for her, and she made a silent vow to him that it only ever would.

"If it wasn't obvious, I would follow you to the ends of the earth," she contentedly declared. "All over the map, and even off a cliff. If you run, I will chase you." She clung to him again as she remembered how he chased her onto the bridge that day. The way he clung back, she suspected he remembered it then too. "You're stuck with me, so you might as well deal with it."

He was silent for a long moment after that, in which she would've given anything to hear his troubled thoughts. But she allowed him to simply hold her, and be held, and know that she never wanted to leave him. And never would, if only he'd allow it. When he spoke again, it was to give voice to his most shameful fear.

"I cannot protect you."

"I don't need you to," she assured him, and for some reason, that made him feel even worse.

She could feel his heartbeat increase along with his breathing, and imagined scenarios once again playing themselves out before his eyes when he squeezed even tighter.

"If anything happened to you, I..." And that was it. He truly didn't know. But the prospects frightened him almost as much.

"You have such little faith in my abilities?"

Startled by the accusation, he looked down to see her quirking a mocking brow. Even though she was teasing him, he answered her question seriously.

"Of course not. It is my abilities I do not trust." Not anymore. Not like this.

That was all it had ever been. Taking these humans with him was a risk, but at the time, he didn't have any options. He also didn't have any particular regard for their lives either way. They were a means to an end for him, and his only chance at finding Rin. Things had changed drastically since then.

If they were starting back at his brother's village, knowing what he knew now, he didn't see how he could have possibly taken that chance. But as long as he was forced to start again from square one here at the tiger's compound, he couldn't in good conscience drag these humans along with him.

"Then trust me," implored Kagome from her cozy place in his arms. "Trust _in_ me. Like I trust in you. Can you do that?"

He should be upset at her defiance, distraught at the danger it would place her in. But her unflinching confidence when his was tapped dry was more comforting than he cared to admit, or could even understand.

He had never been wanting in that regard, and in fact had often been told he possessed more than enough to go around. Was this how it felt for his own soldiers, when he was so unwaveringly assured of their victory? If so, he supposed he could see why they would follow him.

He answered by resting his chin on her crown, and felt satisfaction when she melted into him as a result.

"What if your friends do not share your sentiment?" he tried, in a last-ditch effort to convince her to abandon him. "You would force them to aid This One?"

"Of course not," she immediately dismissed. "They are free to do whatever they want. If they aren't smart enough to see what you're capable of, that's on them." He didn't know if she realized that the others would likely follow her, even despite their own preferences. He couldn't imagine a scenario in which any of them would willingly leave Kagome. "But it doesn't matter. Either way, I go with you. Period."

And like that, it was settled. He could hear the finality in her tone. The miko was apparently ride or die at this point, and he had to ensure it wasn't the latter.

"And I was never, _never_ going to stay with Tadaaki. _Ever_." He allowed her to untuck herself from under his chin so she could level him with a half-hearted glare. "So don't harbor these fantasies of me going back to that village to live some simple, boring little life. Kissing him only gave me one thing."

His arched brow was her signal to proceed. "Proof of your superiority. But to be honest, I never needed it."

He watched as she untangled herself from his hold, and finally rose to stand before him. He could only remain seated, and watch the miko's undeterrable display. She was running the show here, apparently, which was good. He was all out of ideas.

"Now, come on. Let's find the others." She reached out and took his hand in hers. "We will put our heads together, and come up with a plan. Okay?"

She couldn't tell what he was thinking as he simply stared back at her. But when it didn't appear that he was moving, she starting leaving anyway, with their hands still attached. He allowed her to pull him up off the bed, and drag him through the mess he'd made before leading him back downstairs.

* * *

Back downstairs in what Kagome had dubbed the 'rec room,' the pack had reconvened and were attempting to formulate a plan.

With the majority of his aggression out of his system, Sesshoumaru was now able to approach this new problem with a cooler head. So everyone had pulled up a fur, or a cushion, and made themselves comfortable while they inventoried their knowledge and attempted to identify their options.

"The only other tiger territory I know of is east of here, but it is far."

Against the back wall, Kagome had arranged some of the more comfortable padding into something resembling a couch. It surprisingly didn't take much convincing to get Sesshoumaru to take a seat beside her while the others made their own arrangements.

As he laid out the extent of his knowledge in regards to neko geography, he found himself grow increasingly distracted by the distracted young woman at his side. Her aggressive attempts at stretching was bad enough, especially while he was trying to think. But as soon as he took the floor and starting talking, she popped her shoe off and began violently digging into the high arch in her foot, making him lose his train of thought more than once.

"There are no human villages left between here and there."

He remembered her saying something earlier about a terrible cramp, and he felt for her, but he was beginning to see the focus of the others casually drift away from him and over to her. This was all pointless if nobody was paying attention. So, in an attempt to regain the floor, he snatched her foot out of her own hands in between sentences, and with a sturdy tug, maneuvered her to lay back with her feet in his lap.

No one dared comment when he dug his strong thumbs deep into the arch of her foot, and apparently hit paydirt on his first go, if the relieved look on her face and accompanying groan were anything to go by. She offered no protest as she tilted her head back, and Sesshoumaru was pleased to see three sets of wide eyes return to him so that he may continue. Which he did, as if he weren't giving a woman a foot massage in the middle of hashing out his rescue plans.

They, in turn, were willing to listen as if he was not.

"Only demons reside, or can travel that way, and there are miles upon miles of caves. I do not see how we can make it over there."

Their plan had worked so far because there were villages for humans to stay in, and civilized people to question. With none of those things, it made traveling together impossible, if not simply pointless. So what to do?

"Maybe traveling there isn't the way to go," Inuyasha was the first to chime in. "Is there any other option?"

"Can we get them to come to us?" Kagome asked with her eyes closed, in bliss from his continued attentions, but at least still able to contribute. He'd easily located the disruption that was causing her so much woe, and she was trying not to sound pornographic each time he rolled his thumbs over it firmly.

"Can we trick them?" Sango threw in next, followed by Miroku's suggestion.

"Is there anything we can do politically?"

It was clear to everyone that they could no longer keep going on like they were going, especially if the landscape would be changing so drastically. With unforgiving terrain, and even less-forgiving demons living upon it, it was completely unreasonable to expect to continue going on as they had been thus far. They had to think outside the box, and so far, there were no obvious solutions to the former warlord.

After spit balling a few fruitless ideas, Inuyasha piped up again.

"Maybe it's time to let your demon friends know what happened to you." It wasn't the first time he'd brought this up to his brother, but had been filed in his brain under 'last resort.' It appeared they might be approaching that requirement. "We are kind of running out of options here."

Sesshoumaru frowned, but didn't dismiss him outright. He had considered that as well, but he hoped to avoid it after some vigorous brainstorming. He continued to rub the rather large knot out of Kagome's foot as the searched his mind for anything else he could do. Her gasps and moans were white noise as he broke the terrible knot apart, and smoothed it over like rolling dough. He was working out his tension by working out hers, using the distraction to occupy his all-too-idle hands while he tried to clear his head and discover a solution. She was his bonsai tree; his rock garden. And she was absolutely loving it.

But it wasn't working. Not on his end anyway. At least someone was getting something out of this little session. But it appeared there was nothing else he could do. He was just about to concede, when a voice from the doorway announced the stealthy appearance of an intruder.

"Is that the Lord of the West giving out foot rubs? Where do I get in line?"

The taunting female voice startled the crew into action. Inuyasha scrambled up instantly with a transformed Tetsusaiga in hand, while Miroku and Sango jumped to their feet and prepared themselves for an attack. Kagome had also attempted to rise, but Sesshoumaru's firm hold on her leg prevented her from being successful.

She turned as if to question him, but only managed to do so with her eyes. He didn't seem too concerned with moving, so she had to assume there was no threat. But the glare he was sending the strange female's way betrayed that he in no way appreciated the company.

She looked back over to see the female still standing there casually, not intimidated in the least by the threat her friends posed. Upon closer inspection, it was clear she was a demon, but that Kagome couldn't sense her, she had to be powerful enough to mask her aura from detection.

"Toran."

The name left his lips with no shortage of disdain, and with the way she addressed him earlier, it became apparent that the two knew each other. Whether that was good or bad remained unclear.

After her name was spoken, an impressive curse tumbled out of the hanyou, and he lowered his sword slightly. Miroku and Sango looked at each other in confusion, but got back on guard when the demoness began to saunter slowly over to greet them.

"So it's true," she spoke again, still confident in taunting them, and seeming to relish doing so. "I had to see it with my own eyes."

"What are you doing here?" Inuyasha demanded angrily, and she finally tore her gaze from Sesshoumaru to rest on his younger brother. With a smirk, she let her eyes rove over the hanyou as she appeared to be doing her own silent assessment.

"Inuyasha," she acknowledged, and changed course slightly. It was telling when she got in striking distance and he made no move to attack. "It has been too long. Look at you. You're nearly grown enough to ravish."

When she reached out audaciously to touch his ears, he batted her hand away.

"Keh, you wish." She was entertained by his response.

"You're sounding more like your brother than ever." At mention of the former dog demon, she shifted her focus back to him. "Have the two of you finally been bonding?"

"Sesshoumaru, do you know her?" Kagome asked, but his attention was fixed on the panther demon. His mask was back in place, but another look at his eyes made it clear he was displeased.

"Yes, Sesshoumaru, stop being rude," she demanded before gesturing around them. "Introduce me to your companions here. Inuyasha I already know, obviously, but look at all these humans."

When her laughing eyes raked hungrily over the miko halfway in his lap, he finally released her and deigned to stand. Once up, nobody missed how he stepped in front to block her from the panther's scrutiny.

"State your business," he ordered coolly. "I am in no mood for your games."

He felt his eye twitch as she gave a dismissive laugh.

"You are hardly in any position to stop me." The way her eyes traveled over him showed amusement in his predicament. Once she'd gotten her fill, she met his spiteful gaze again, and quirked a brow. "Now, be a good dog and play nice, and maybe you'll find out what I can do for you."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do it, yo. lol. I love Toran, and I couldn't have a cat story without throwing her in the mix!
> 
> I had to make some changes though. In my world (this world, right here) all the panther diva stuff still went down, but I'm writing it so that Toran wasn't involved in that fight. All her sisters met Inuyasha and company for the first time in that episode, but I wanted to give her a slightly different backstory, so we're just going to play this like Inuyasha actually met Toran when he was younger, and the inu-tachi never met her until now. Sound good? Feel free to comment with any concerns XD


	27. Exes and Ohs

Sesshoumaru led Toran to the kitchen building down by the compound's entrance, and out of Inuyasha's range. Kagome told herself the privacy was most likely needed to spare the proud lord the indignity of being overheard asking – if not _begging_ – for help, just in case that was what the panther youkai had in mind, but it took work to keep her jealous thoughts at bay while he was off alone with the overly-familiar female from his past.

Even Kagome was aware of her own rampant distrust, and was disgusted with herself for immediately assuming the worst about him _yet_ _again_. But even though she was trying her best to ignore her overactive imagination, there was nothing she could do for the churning in her gut induced by his sudden escorted absence.

'There really is something wrong with me. We just talked about this! Why can't I just trust him? He's more than earned it.'

There was nothing left to do but wait for them at this point, but while the others got comfortable again, Kagome attempted to work off some of her anxiety by indulging in a slow - and hopefully _subtle_ \- pace around her makeshift couch.

She tried to focus on the implications of this new development in regards to its effect on their mission, as opposed to her love life. She didn't know what this Toran had in store for them, but if she meant to offer them some form of aid, her timing couldn't have been better. Kagome hoped that was the case.

But she didn't know anything about this demon, other than she was apparently related to those panther youkai that caused them so much trouble last year. That little incident had at least ended on a somewhat amicable note. Maybe Sesshoumaru's generosity with Tenseiga was enough to earn him a favor or two from their tribe. It would save them the risk of involving some other opportunistic youkai that might attempt to exploit his humanity. She just hoped that wasn't Toran's aim.

Inuyasha at least seemed somewhat comfortable with her. At least comfortable enough to let her walk out of here with his brother's dangerous secret. Maybe he could tell her something to set her mind at ease.

"You know her, Inuyasha?" she finally prompted, as he went back to inspecting his sword for damage.

"Keh, unfortunately," he muttered into his chest. "She's one of Sesshoumaru's old chums from way back." He didn't bother looking up from his weapon to answer her, opting instead to run his claw along its sharp edge in search of any nicks in the blade.

She supposed his apparent lack of concern was promising. "I haven't seen her in years," he deigned further, and offered a casual shrug. "Didn't know he still talked to her."

"Is she going to be trouble?" she asked warily, avoiding the ugly part of her that was more interested in learning the extent of their relationship than the possible impact on their mission.

"Most definitely," he confirmed with confidence, causing all of his packmate's hackles to rise. "But I doubt she'll cause any real harm. She's got a soft spot for the ice prick, no matter what she says." He paused his fussing momentarily to look down the length of his sword with one eye closed. "Crazy bitch might even be able to help us."

"How did she know we were here?" Sango wondered, but her guess was as good as his, as relayed by his answering shrug. Miroku chimed in with his own concern.

"She seemed like she knew he would be human," he observed thoughtfully. "Do you think she'll tell anyone?"

Another troubling question was; who told her in the first place? Had someone recognized him on their travels? With all the villages they'd been through, it was very possible, even if they were careful.

If word was out about Sesshoumaru, they had a whole new set of problems on their hands. If not, this demon still had an uncomfortable amount of leverage over them at the moment. Either way, their safety, as well as their mission, could very well be in jeopardy here. Hopefully, Sesshoumaru could find a way to mitigate this new development.

"That depends on what she wants," Inuyasha pointed out reasonably. "I bet that's what they're talking about right now."

There was no point in dwelling on it, because there was no way to know what she wanted until Sesshoumaru returned and told them. All Kagome could do was trust him to handle the panther's demands with some tact, and negotiate the terms as best he could.

He had all their best interests in mind, and Kagome was confident he wouldn't do anything stupid. That was the mantra she was using to assuage her baser self.

"At least she's... friendly," the miko offered, trying to keep the glass half-full. "with Sesshoumaru."

But Inuyasha's scoff in response took all the wind from her sails, and his accompanying smirk tore a hole in them.

"That's a way of putting it."

* * *

Once in the kitchen, Sesshoumaru again prompted Toran to get to the point and inform him the reason for her visit. He had no interest in drawing this out, and if she had information that was in any way useful to him, he needed to know it now so he could factor it into his plans... whatever they would be.

Not to mention, other than the woodworker, and his own trusted vassals, this was the first youkai he had known to become aware of his humiliating secret. Aside from putting him in the unfamiliar position of being at someone else's mercy, he was forced to endure the discomfort brought on by having one of his peers witness him being anything less than perfect. He wanted to get through this as quickly and painlessly as possible, and hoped she would handle this encounter graciously.

But considering who it was, he supposed he should have known better.

"Stop laughing," he demanded passionlessly, when as soon as the door closed behind him and he turned to stand face to face, the demoness from his past took one good look at him and burst into a shameless fit of merriment. Five seconds in, and she was already enjoying herself far too much at his expense. And there was nothing he could do about it but stand there and take it. "It isn't funny."

Her taunting laughter took him back to a very different time, and he instantly remembered why, though much simpler and not entirely unpleasant, he rarely allowed his thoughts to meander far and long into an indulgent fit of nostalgia.

It made him feel like a pup.

There were a very seldom few who could say they knew him then, and even fewer could claim to have known him well enough to elicit such an undignified reaction. But when Toran laughed at him just as she had done so many times and so long ago, it mattered not how many years, decades, even _centuries_ had passed since they had last seen each other; she still managed to pull him down from his noble stature, strip him of his impressive accomplishments and dismantle his towering pride, and render him to no more than the hubristic youth who, while promising, had neither the skill nor experience to support his arrogant air.

Things had changed since then, of course. He'd done more than enough to justify his lordly self-importance. But she could claim to recall a time when he was just a child, barely strong enough to bear the heavy weight of oppressive expectation heaved upon him at birth that only seemed to grow as he did, and threatened to break him the very moment his power failed to meet the demands of his ever-increasing load. And she could claim so honestly.

Before he was Lord of the West, back when he was merely a prince of his lands, his rigorous training was already well underway. Everything in his life was a brutal test, with the bar purposely placed just out of his reach. Every time he would progress, and he thought he might get out from under its crippling mass, every time without fail, more burden would be added to his back to prevent any satisfaction he might have won in his achievements.

Until eventually, he did. Impressively, and steadily, he began to gain some ground on his lordly requirements, as one expectation after the next was met to satisfaction, and there was simply nothing left that could even hope to level him. As his power increased, his load became lighter – not lessened, by any means, but easier to carry - until nothing could ever hope to wobble him under its might. It was all leading to a crescendo, culminating to a glorious peak that once reached, would prove him to be beyond the reach of anything that may hope to conquer him.

A god among youkai.

But he would never get there, and now, he never would.

New burden and duties laid claim to him then, and he continued to meet them beyond satisfactorily and with little difficulty. But his ultimate purpose would never be realized, and in the absence of that, he was forced to clamor for new purpose. Purpose he had yet to find.

But back then, back when she knew him, he was still that determined young pup striving to earn the stripes he was forced to wear long before he'd done so. She was a witness to a time when he was less than what he was, and acknowledging her was acknowledging that he had ever been less than perfection.

She'd never been shy about pointing that out to him, and no matter what incredible feats he'd toppled, no matter what heights he'd risen to, it would never be enough to wipe her memory clean of the willful child who yearned to be great enough to merit the arrogance he projected.

And when she laughed at him like she did back then, as she'd continued to do throughout their lives and would always do, no matter who he was or what he'd done or what he could do to her, she made him feel like a pup.

The most degrading thing of all was; he couldn't say he hated it. There was something familiar, even comforting about the consistency she brought with her. Now more than ever that was something he appreciated. And though they weren't all pleasant, his memories of her were not all unpleasant either.

Still, for a cat, she could be a real bitch.

"It is a little funny," she insisted, and delighted in the sight of his trademark icy glare delivered via his human visage. She soaked it in good and long before catching his black bangs audaciously between her fingers to twiddle a bit. "Look at you; you're adorable," she declared condescendingly. "Perfectly harmless." When she released his hair to cup his cheek, he finally swatted her away.

"You are well aware what will be wrought should anyone learn of my predicament," he warned irritably. "You would do well to take this seriously."

But the dangerous edge to his voice failed to deter her, and she offered a playful smirk. If he didn't scare her when he was scary, he certainly wouldn't now. And if he couldn't bully her into submission before, he wasn't about to start.

"You're usually serious enough for the both of us," she reminded him. "but perhaps you need to take your own advice. You sure looked mighty comfortable with your hands all over that miko." She knew she'd hit gold when human features hardened at the mention of the priestess, and a knowing smile told him of her discovery. "She's a pretty one, isn't she? I bet your father would have loved her."

He refused to rise to the bait. If she wasn't going to get to the point, he would at least demand some answers. He was hoping to torture a tiger, but was willing to settle for grilling a panther.

"How did you know I was here?"

He felt his temper rise when she gave him another assessing once over, but thankfully, she deigned to answer.

"As luck would have it, I was just passing through a few days ago," she informed him. "I scented your little imp and I got excited. I thought you were finally paying me a long overdue visit."

She turned to lead them deeper into the kitchen. His brow furrowed determinedly at the mention of his long-absent minion, and he followed her over to a long counter as she rummaged casually through a few unmarked sacks and jars.

"Jaken was here?"

He was beginning to wonder where the imp had run off to. He was to report back to him with any information, or else meet him here. When he found the compound empty, he considered something may have happened to him.

"And your dragon, yes." Toran abandoned her snooping to spin around, and leaned back against the counter, arms crossed. "Imagine my surprise when I got here and found them chained up in the dungeons, and without you. I assumed the worst."

His eyes perceptibly widened, and his brows disappeared into his black bangs. The dungeons? So Jaken had actually managed to locate them. Unless, it was he who had been located.

"I freed your vassals, and got him to tell me everything."

That explained how she knew, and provided him some relief. If she'd heard it straight from the annoying little kappa, his secret could still be relatively safe, for a little longer at least. He'd take what he could get.

When Sesshoumaru's rapt focus removed itself from her, she could see his gears beginning to turn. Mercifully, she answered his anticipated next question.

"Apparently the tigers got wind of your arrival and fled. Even as a human, you manage to strike fear in the hearts of demons."

If she was trying to mock him or flatter him was unclear. It so often was with her, and could very well have been both, or neither. Either way, the statement barely registered. Her account didn't make sense to him, and when that happened, it usually meant something was wrong.

"Jaken would have returned to inform me of this," he reasoned. There was very little chance the toad would disregard his orders and go rouge.

"I assured him I would do it." He returned his gaze to her, not incredibly surprised at her audacity, but very curious as to why she would do such a thing. "The tigers left a scent leading east, north of the ookami territories; I encouraged him to follow it while the trail was still fresh. There are several compounds past the cave lands, it could stand to reason they would be there."

That all sounded plausible. He was aware there were more compounds, but he didn't know where. It was something he'd hoped his torture methods would reveal for him. Apparently Toran knew - which was unsurprising - and that's where Jaken was headed. But he knew that tone. There was more she wasn't saying.

"However..." he prompted expectantly when she failed to elaborate. She smirked again at his perceptiveness.

"However, knowing what I know, there is a chance they went further north instead."

Remaining patient, his eyes pled respectfully for her to continue, and she obliged.

"My cousin told me of a place far up from here that no one knows," she informed him, and his ears picked up hopefully. "Only those in the family are aware of its existence; a large, reinforced stronghold, suitable for riding out an armageddon. When the Lord of the West is after you, it is a smart thing to prepare for."

Once again, the last sentence could have been mockery as easily as flattery, and the coy smile she delivered it with had him slightly irked at her flippancy. But he let it slide.

He knew he was getting good information. Though obviously no tiger, Toran _was_ a cat. Even though they were not in the same clan, they were all in the same family. Cousins. And though the separate clans fought literally tooth and nail, and attempted to fell each other at every turn, they were known to unite against any other race who would try to conquer them. She would be made privy of places outsiders were never to know of, because they would never suspect her to divulge it. Telling him would be an outrageous betrayal, and punished severely if they ever learned of it.

"If they know you are trailing them, with your merry band of humans, it would be foolish to go where you are expecting." She became serious for a moment. "The east is a good bet, but all my money is on further north."

Teasing aside, he accepted her reasoning, and trusted her judgement. He would get no better assessment than this. In these lands she was a valuable resource, and he was simply fortunate she saw fit to aid him. He was considering that perhaps he'd made a miscalculation in not contacting her sooner. He hated to think he let his pride get in the way of getting Rin home safe.

"Where?" he demanded as he held her gaze intently. She returned it, marveling a bit at how even though those molten honeyed depths she knew so well were gone, the violet ones taking their place were unmistakably him. Even if she didn't know he was human, if she got a look into these eyes, she would know it was him the second she glimpsed him. The raw intensity of his determined, intelligent glare told her plainly and without doubt that the demon she'd known for centuries was still in there. She had to pull herself out of them.

"It is far," she admitted. "Far beyond even your map. I will take you there myself, but I can only take you. You have to leave the others behind."

She was more than a little shocked when something akin to panic flashed in those eyes, before quickly correcting and reverting back to that fierce determination holding court a moment prior.

"We travel together," he insisted with finality. "I shall not abandon them"

A smile graced her lips, as he'd confirmed what she'd only just suspected until now. This was interesting.

"Hn. Finally man's best friend after all this time." Her taunting caused his unamused mask to slip seamlessly back into place. "Say what you will about canines, they are loyal to a fault. I do miss that about you."

She didn't expect a reaction, and took advantage of his aggressive silence, losing herself to memory for the briefest of moments.

"I know how you feel about your half-brother. So which of these humans do you slow for?"

His mouth was already set in a disdainful scowl, so not a muscle needed to move to relay is disapproval of her assessment. It was those eyes again - the only part of him that ever gave anything away - that made him look colder, and warned to tread lightly. She rarely obeyed, but threw him a bone due to his circumstances.

"Very well," she relented. "I will take you north to a village just beyond the mountains, but no further. Thanks to my father's treaty, I am unable to enter into those lands unescorted, and if you insist on bringing your entourage, I cannot hope to fly in undetected." He definitely understood, and it would not do well to rouse suspicion anyway.

"It's a demon village, but you will be safe there. There is a decent place I can put you up in until you are ready to head for the stronghold, and I will draw you a map for the rest of the way. In the meantime, I will reach out to my father and get all of my tribe in on the manhunt. We will spread out and leave no stone unturned."

It took her a moment to realize his sudden discomfort was not a simply a reaction to her generous offer. Well, not all of it.

"And don't worry, I'll leave out the tiny, insignificant detail that his tentative ally is currently no more harmful than a fresh litter of kittens." His body seemed to relax a bit, as she noticed his stick straight posture slacken just a smidge, and the bulge of his tightly coiled muscles deflate almost imperceptibly.

And he was right to be tense. She was well aware what would happen if her father learned of this, and Sesshoumaru was no fool.

"You know how father is, at times, too ambitious for his own good. His long-standing victories over all the other neko clans has only seen his confidence bolster in recent years." She fixed him with a pointed glare. "Of course, you would know that if you ever came to visit."

"I do know it," he finally bit, and inwardly she preened. "Why do you think I have not attempted to contact you in my time here?"

With an unhurried once over, her lips curled up slightly.

"I have my suspicions."

She was enjoying herself too much again, but that was fine. He had more important things to do than spar with her frivolously. He finally had someone who could give him answers, and he wasn't going to waste the chance to get them.

"Who have you told?" he demanded next, and she gave him an admonishing look as if his assumption wasn't justified.

"I'm insulted. You know I don't' gossip about you." An amused smile grew slowly, as if she just recalled a dirty joke, and her eyes traveled over him again; this time, even slower. "Well, not anything unflattering, I assure you."

He brushed her flirtatious taunts aside with practiced ease, willing to take her at her word.

"Does anyone else know? What have you heard?"

She was a bit disappointed not to succeed in riling him this time, and his reward for his steadfastness was a short pout before a serious answer.

"It's around, that your human," she told him, sliding her gaze away. Both clawed hands sought the counter's edge behind her as traces of anxiety finally began to show. "It's only a rumor at this point, not much traction. But your extended absence from the West is beginning to raise questions." That had concerned him.

It wasn't entirely unusual for him to disappear for long periods of time, but there was usually word of some task or encounter to keep a few individuals reasonably abreast. The fact that he hadn't emerged to refute any claims, added with the possibility of having been spotted was enough to make him nervous. He had absolutely no idea what was going on back home.

"You're safe for now," she assured him, "but it won't be long before others start figuring it out. Then, you will have a problem on your hands."

He was well aware of that, as she surely knew. But he was grateful for her update on the matter. Not to mention her continued silence. He considered himself fortunate that the panther was smart enough to know how to keep her mouth shut, and that it was she who found his vassals, as opposed to literally anyone else.

She allowed him to mull in silence for a moment, as he considered his next question. With how long it took him to frame it, she'd been able to correctly guess what it would be.

"Do you know if she is with them?"

It was obvious he was working to keep an even tone, but the gentle tint lent by his humanity made his task considerably more difficult. She finally considered that beyond his appearance, his mortal body was susceptible to all sorts of weakness, and the implications made her falter. But she corrected, pushing through.

"The scent of tiger is overpowering," she explained, sobering a bit. "There is no indication any human was ever here as far as I can tell."

His new vulnerability was showcased even more brutally when he let his disappointment break the human version of his stoic mask, and she felt the foreign urge to soothe him, and wash it away.

"Though my nose is not as good as yours is - _was_ , so it is possible."

Though Jaken had run into the tigers, Rin had not been with them. At least, not with the ones he found. But that didn't mean his ward hadn't been there. She wanted to give him some hope, and she wished desperately in that moment she had a better answer for him. Seeing him like this was harder than she had expected.

She thought she might get a little fun kick out of mocking him - she always did. But this was serious, and the gravity of it all was only just hitting her.

"Have you discovered what happened to you?" she asked, dropping any evidence of amusement. "Who made you like this?"

Any pain he might have involuntarily shown her was chased away by the dark, sinister look that was all too familiar, and she was much more comfortable with. Now he looked like him again, and that pleased her.

"I do not know, but I will find out," he insisted gravely, looking somewhere beyond her right shoulder. "Believe me, when I do, they will pay dearly. And then I will kill them."

That was him. That was the demon she knew. His low, confident timbre had her tingling with excitement, and leaning forward slightly.

"Stop, you know it gets me hot to hear you talk like that." Taking a step forward, she placed her hand on his arm, and managed to distract him from his violent fantasies. He stared silently at her a moment, until she retreated to lean against the counter again.

"So, who are the others?" she asked, changing course, and crossing her arms again. "New friends?"

"Inuyasha's pack. They have elected to aid This One in his search."

She knew him too well not to pick up on the forced the bored tone he usually made without trying. She was an observant youkai, and his behavior thus far was pointing to one very unexpected outcome.

"They seem very cozy with you," she began all too casually. "Especially that priestess."

When he scowled in another warning he knew she wouldn't heed, Toran lifted the right corner of her lips, and a brow.

"Are you fucking her?"

She let the question hang, knowing full well he wouldn't answer, but he didn't need to. His silences spoke well enough for him, you just had to know how to read them.

Something was going on there, though she couldn't say exactly what. With all he'd spouted in the past, she had to wonder if it wasn't his humanity rendering him suddenly sympathetic. Or perhaps, he simply had no choice but to cavort with these mortals. It wasn't like he could risk exposing the new him to any demons. She was an exception, and he'd still been forced to avoid her out of self-preservation.

And then there was the possibility that he hadn't changed his tune at all, but was still so incredibly opposed to mixing the races that he wouldn't participate in the defiling of a demon with his filthy human cock. That would make sense, because any demon who would have him now would be a human sympathizer, and therefore, unworthy. It would be ironic if he hated humans so much, they'd be the only ones he could bed with a clean conscious. Couldn't risk making a hanyou bastard of his own.

But then, maybe he was just his father's son after all.

"Hm. I obviously knew you went outside your species, but a human?" She paused her condemnation of him long enough to let him deny it, but Sesshoumaru remained silent. "Never thought I'd see the day. Always thought you'd keep with your kind, at least in the broadest sense."

"Hn, there is keeping with your kind, and then there is keeping it in family," he quipped back. "Unlike felines, not everyone wishes to take pleasure within their own brood. Some new blood might strengthen your ranks."

She was well aware he was simply attempting to cleverly sidestep her question, but it was so hard not to encourage him when he finally saw fit to engage her. He likely knew that too. But that was fine. If the Western Lord finally was ready to play, she would put a pin in that one for later.

"Like your brother, you mean?" she asked, though the subject of Inuyasha apparently wasn't so touchy anymore, which was also interesting. "You more than anyone know I do not keep exclusively with felines."

"But you certainly do not avoid them." He graced her with a saccharine smile rarely employed since their youth, but she decided it looked funny without the fangs. "How is your dear cousin faring these days?"

"Still jealous about that?" she asked innocently, and the accusation wiped the sickly grin from him in an instant. "I thought you'd gotten over it."

"I am not-" he insisted sharply, but stifled himself after the brief lapse. She smiled victoriously at his loss of composure, earning a humorless smirk as he acknowledged defeat.

"What do you know?" he demanded dangerously, narrowing his eyes at her. "If he had anything to do with this..."

It was wishful thinking. He loathed the tigers she used to cavort with back when she was _friendlier_ with her cousin's clan, and it was her fondness for them alone which had kept his claws previously at bay. Rin's abduction was more than enough justification to finally settle a few scores. It was those relationships that gave her such unique insight to their inner workings and locale – which was very useful to him at the moment – but he couldn't rule out her possible motive to keep a few of them protected.

Were that the case, however, she likely wouldn't be here double-crossing her own kin by helping him. Unless she meant to throw him off their trail, but again, that was wishful thinking.

"You give Reo too much credit," she insisted, and earned a scoff. He was rarely accused of that. Never, in fact. But he had to agree with her assessment. "He's great in bed, but not smart enough to pull off something like this." Toran watched with amusement as Sesshoumaru tried not to react, but his human face was just so much more expressive, not that it took much to accomplish. "If you're sweet to me, I'll look him up and see what he knows. He owes me a favor."

"For what, I'd rather not know." He was smug, but still humorless as Toran put less space between them. He didn't back down or retreat when she looked into his eyes none too innocently.

"I'd be happy to show you."

She was so close now that their clothing touched, but he didn't respond verbally or otherwise.

She was used to that from him, however, and tried to look inviting as he stared superiorly down at her. That, she was also used to.

"Come on, I'm still the best you've ever had, aren't I?" Her ability to decipher his telling silences had her confident in her assessment.

She smiled to herself at that, because it _had_ been some time... Though knowing him, he probably didn't spend many nights looking to see her dethroned. Unlike her, which made his continuing reign all the more impressive.

"You are still my favorite lover," she freely admitted, and finally lifted her hands to fiddle with the lapels of his kimono. His remained at his sides as he watched her attempt to paw at him enticingly. "Mechanically of course," she clarified. "Outside the bedroom, you are no good for me at all. But those hips are lethal." Biting her lip, she leaned back to gaze appreciatively at the area in question. It was clear she was conjuring memories of one of their many previous encounters, but before he could think to care which, her eyes snapped back to his. "At least they were," she amended, and gestured back down with her head. "How's that powerhouse these days?"

She felt a thrill when he leaned in, and lowered his voice in a threatening tone.

"Trust me, I could still leave you begging," he purred. "As I always do."

Perhaps he was overly confident, as he couldn't honestly say she would enjoy his human body nearly as much as the original. He'd yet to take it for a spin, and inventory his arsenal. But he knew this panther's body as well as she did, if not better. And if her previous enjoyment of him was any indication, he had plenty of room for error.

She didn't seem willing to refute him. Instead, she laughed and flattened the palms at his chest, smoothing them upwards and over the crest of his shoulders.

"Yes, we are amazing together, aren't we?" she asked, he assumed rhetorically, and sought his eyes. It had been a particularly long stretch since she had seen him last, but every reunion was picking up right where they left off, like they'd never missed a beat.

"Perfectly compatible. Too bad you're such a bore the rest of the time." She genuinely seemed to lament that fact a moment, looking up into his face with a mixture of longing and regret. Then she pressed herself flush against him. "We could have really been something."

Her gaze only drifted to his human lips a moment before she finally gave into her body's call to claim them. Leaning forward, she tilted her head in preparation, only to be stopped short when he abruptly turned his head to the side before she could make contact. The movement caused her forehead to brush his ear, and he felt her nose dig lightly into his cheek as she held herself there a moment.

"See? Boring," she accused, before gently pushing herself away from him and stepping back again. "At least that hasn't changed."

She reached into her sleeve and pulled out a small clamshell that contained her red rouge. She popped it open to dip her finger in the paint before applying a generous layer to quickly touch herself up.

"I'll pay him a visit, see what he knows," she offered, pressing her lips to complete her application.

Sesshoumaru raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"You think he will tell you?"

Just because they were family, it didn't mean the clans shared _all_ of their secrets. They kept reasonably separate unless they had a compelling reason, and her attachment to the rival inu clan was more than enough to keep them wary of her. Especially in this matter.

But Toran was confident.

"If there is anything worth knowing, I will find it," she assured him. "Even if he wanted to keep it from me, he isn't incredibly bright, remember?"

"Well, he is feline." His recent refusal of her boosted his human confidence some, and justified the return of that too-sweet smile.

'Twice in one day,' she mused, and couldn't help but smirk in response.

"Cheeky. Being human has made you particularly petulant." But one lingering look at his inferior form left no doubt who had the upper hand here. She began to turn from him. "Perhaps I should leave you this way."

His firm hand on her bicep prevented it, and she turned back to see him struggling with his instincts.

"I apologize," he bit out forcefully.

He was in no position to be playing fast and loose with his allies. Especially this one. Not only did Toran know these lands well, she also had an in with the clan he was so desperate to find. Until she appeared out of thin air to offer her aid to him on a silver platter, he was desperate enough to risk everything by outing himself to those who were almost certain to take advantage of him the first chance they got.

She was the only one who could help him, and she had a good plan. And really, he was lucky she regarded him well enough to stick her neck out like this. He should not be so callous with her.

Even though she was almost intolerable.

Seeing his desperation and resigned helplessness, she instantly found her way back to smiling. She wasn't really going to leave him anyway, but he apparently wasn't going to take that chance. If only he was always so indebted to her.

"No, I like it." She snapped her clamshell shut near his face, and used it to gesture at the length of him.

"It's nice to see you enjoying yourself for once. It's good for you."

"There is nothing enjoyable about this," he insisted, his miserable expression on full display.

Faint shadows were beginning to show beneath his eyes, and though he appeared to be a man of only 19, he looked older and more tired than she'd ever seen him. Humanity was already starting to take its toll, and if he didn't find out how to come back soon, he might suffer even more damage. In the meantime, he needed to find a way to make it work for him.

"Maybe you're not doing it right."

That, he conceded, was entirely possible. But he wasn't even sure there was a right way to be human. He considered her suggestion a moment as she watched on thoughtfully.

Well, that appeared to be everything. Toran's plan was his own, and until she got them to the village, their success was in her hands. He simply had to trust her to follow through.

There was just one more thing to square away.

"What do you require as payment?" he asked, more than a little nervous of the answer.

Without her, he was in big trouble. This she knew. All that was left was to find out how she wished to use that leverage to enrich herself. She could ask him for anything at all in that moment, and he would have no choice but to agree. Even though she was fond of him, it would be foolish of her to squander this opportunity.

"I'm offended. Can I not simply do my old friend a solid?"

His narrowed glare dared her to refute him.

"Very well," she easily relented. "When you are you again, I wish for a position in your council. I desire influence, since you refuse to bestow it through our original agreement."

The relief he felt in that moment was monumental. That was an easy enough concession to make. In all truth, he likely would have appointed her anyway. Especially after all this. It's so hard to find trustworthy allies, and politically savvy ones at that.

Not to mention, her faith in him was encouraging. His confidence had hit a record low, and he needed all that he could salvage. And now, she had a vested interest in his success as well.

He appreciated her gracious request, and even wondered if she only made it to save him the further humiliation of helping him pro bono. But he would wait until his mission was over before examining that any further. For now, he was more than happy to take her generosity at face value.

"Agreed," he nodded once. "Your loyalty in this time will not be forgotten. I accept your terms."

After returning her rouge to her sleeve, a wicked look crossed Toran's face that was all too familiar to the former dog youkai, and he braced himself out of habit.

With a smirk, she lifted her hands to rest once again on his slightly smaller but still sturdy human chest, and test out the new dips and bulges of his mortal muscles.

"Of course, if you wanted to sweeten the deal, you could warm my bed tonight. I am curious as to what a human man may be able to accomplish, if anything."

Seizing her hands tightly in his put an end to her fondling, and she seemed more amused than hopeful at the cold look she received.

"It doesn't interest me."

He was grateful, however, that had not been her original request. He very much doubted that Kagome would forgive another transactional indiscretion on his part.

He hoped she realized all the sacrifices he was making just to please her. The worst part was, she wasn't even letting him _please_ her.

Not many demonesses would be willing to lower themselves to lay with a mortal, and the one offering herself he knew was more than qualified to please him. She hadn't been mistaken when she claimed to top his list of worthy bedmates. But he wouldn't let her know that.

"Bore," she accused again, and wrenched her hands away from him. But her case against him was only mounting. He'd still yet to answer her previous question, and he was a fool if he thought she was going to let that one drop. As far as she could tell, however, the answer was obvious.

"Fine. Inform your pack; we leave at dawn. I will return for you then." Before removing herself, she placed her palm on that unfamiliar chest one more time, and used the other to wrap behind his neck. Slowly, gently, and without cooperation, she pressed a tender kiss to the very corner of his closed mouth.

When she pulled back, she took in her oldest friend, dearest ally, and occasional lover, and smirked sadly.

"I am sorry this happened to you." She had prayed it wasn't true, and now that she'd had her fun, she was forced to deal with the ramifications of Sesshoumaru's transformation. "No matter what has occurred between us in the past, I wish nothing but the best for you. I hope you know that."

Once again, she was left to interpret his silence to her best ability. What she found in this one had her struggling to hold her tears.

* * *

With Toran off to make the necessary arrangements for their daybreak trip up north, it was left to Sesshoumaru to return to his packmates and get them up to speed.

All heads turned eagerly his way when he finally emerged alone through the doorway, and already high anxieties seemed to climb even higher as he approached them. He supposed he could understand that. He had left to decide their fates with some demon they'd never met, and they had no way of knowing what that demon might want with them. He could appreciate how maddening it was to not have control of your circumstances, and sitting idly by was never something he was comfortable with.

In an attempt to be merciful, he briefed them as quickly and clearly as possible.

"Toran has agreed to assist us."

That appeared to be a rather large shock to them, as the faces he was suddenly greeted with looked to be varying degrees of shock, outrage, and in the slayer's case, disgust for some reason.

'Perhaps she had an aversion to cats? With Kirara, it wouldn't make much sense. Maybe she was just particular. At any rate...'

"There is a lead worth exploring beyond the northern mountain range, and she will return tomorrow to take us there. We leave at dawn." There. He thought he'd relayed that fairly clearly. And, not one to mince words, quickly as well. When the monk slapped his hand hard against his forehead in response, he was a bit thrown off by it.

Usually the man was reasonably flexible, and operated with a cautious optimism that was appreciated in the most difficult of times. Sesshoumaru didn't see the problem with this plan. It was better than several that had been pitched not an hour ago, and far better than the previous 'nothing' they had decided upon before Toran's arrival.

'Perhaps he is displeased to be waking so early. Too bad.'

Suddenly, the miko's aura flared aggressively, and when he turned to investigate, the fire in her eyes was hot enough to scold him, which she looked seconds away from doing, actually. Her unjustified hostility confounded him, and he wondered what he had missed that had affected her temper so terribly. If he didn't know any better, he'd swear it was aimed at him, but that couldn't be right. He hadn't done anything wrong; he hadn't even been here.

Ah, maybe that was it. That conversation with Toran did take longer than he had quoted them. Perhaps the miko was upset at him for keeping them waiting so long. But it wasn't like they had anything else going on at the moment. In fact, he was about to suggest they head back to the kitchen and pick out something edible for dinner. He'd spotted quite a few items that humans could safely eat, and figured everyone would be pleased to be spared the trouble of hunting and cooking. He was even going to suggest that the miko show him how to prepare another human meal for when they find Rin, but with the way her jaw was clenching in barely contained rage, he surmised that now might not be a great time to ask.

Just as he was going to inquire what her ailment was, she stormed past him, and without a word to anyone, made for the staircase to go back to the room he had trashed in a fit of rage. If she was looking to take out her anger as he had, he was afraid she was too late. Only the bed remained untarnished, and he had planned on sleeping there tonight. If she wished to sleep there with him - as previously expressed - she would do well to leave it intact.

Once she was out of sight, Sesshoumaru turned back to the others to hopefully get some answers. The slayer and the miko were close, and if it was some sort of female issue, perhaps she would know of it. He was rather startled, however, to turn back to the woman only to find her glaring at him with even more distaste than before. He was beginning to think it was not Toran she had the issue with.

The monk's head was still cradled hopelessly in his hands. So, thoroughly confused, he finally turned his increasingly bewildered expression to his half-brother, to find the hanyou's mouth agape. Great, the one time he needed him to yammer, the boy had managed to become speechless.

Knitting his brow, Sesshoumaru was just about to demand answers, when Inuyasha pointed to the corner of his own lips, and gave it a couple taps. His eyes flew wide in instant panic as he ran a finger beside his mouth, only to draw it back and see the telltale red rouge Toran had applied moments earlier. He whispered a curse to himself, though he was sure everyone got to enjoy it.

He immediately bolted for the stairway, rubbing the rest of the lipstick off of him with his hand and cursing the troublesome panther demon all the way. She'd done that on purpose.

Why? Because he'd refused to warm her bed? How petty. But then, he shouldn't be surprised.

How did he not notice that? Why did he not suspect anything? He blamed a combination of his inferior human senses, his overtaxed body and stress that allowed for the distraction.

Kami, he really needed a blowjob right now. And the only thing worse than not getting it despite having one basically offered to him, was having the miko think that he had. He had all the fun of paying the social costs without enjoying the gratification of the act. It was the worst of both worlds.

Her ire became increasingly palpable as he ascended the stairway to the bedroom, and even his human senses could detect her holy aura simmering dangerously beneath her skin. If he were a youkai at the moment, his legs would likely cease to function in an effort to save him from the deadly burn of her power.

He arrived to find her back to him as she stood clear across the room, staring resentfully out the window while she attempted to rein in her anger. Her shoulders looked incredibly tense, and every muscle clenched painfully as one would do to brace themselves for impact.

"Is that how you negotiate?" she spat disdainfully. "Or was this another life or death scenario?"

"Miko-"

"I know I have no right to condemn you, after what I did." She crossed her arms as he began to approach her cautiously. "But it just hurts too much to look at you right now."

"Miko, you promised you would trust me," he reminded her calmly, if not somewhat admonishingly. "Do you not?"

When she finally turned around, she found him only a few paces away, advancing slowly. And despite her instinct to trust her own eyes over the word of some man, she was sensitive to the fact that she'd misjudged him before. She had promised herself - not to mention him - that she wouldn't do that anymore.

She forced her feelings of betrayal to temper, and softened some as she answered honestly.

"Of course."

He stopped a respectable distance away, pleased with her answer but too concerned with her behavior to relish it.

"Then trust me that it meant nothing."

The bed that they'd agreed to share was only a few feet away, and next to the window on the other side of them was a wooden dresser, freshly mangled and weathered courtesy of the former dog demon. Atop that was a rather large vanity mirror, cracked and broken after his vicious assault, but enough remained intact to get a clear glimpse of his human face when he stood before it.

He hadn't taken many good, long looks at himself since his transformation, in part due to the scarcity of reflective surfaces throughout their travels, and partly due to his reluctance to appraise himself in his current form. That was a stranger looking back at him in that mirror, and though he was compelled to gawk, he forced his attention forward quickly to appease the insecure woman before him.

"So _she_ kissed _you_?" Kagome demanded, wanting to justify the willing lips on him, desperate to make his indiscretion acceptable to her. She didn't want to be mad at him.

"Yes."

She wasn't as relieved as she'd hoped she'd be by the confirmation, so she decided to push for more.

"Did you try to stop her?" she asked hopefully, tentatively skeptical for good measure. After Kikyo, she vowed to never put up with any perceived infidelity again, no matter what excuses she would receive or assurances she would be awarded. It injured her self-respect to think she'd allow a man to be forgiven after disrespecting her that way. She knew she shouldn't put up with it.

But she wanted badly to give him the benefit of the doubt, and that made her feel kind of pathetic.

"There was nothing to stop," he insisted seriously. "We have known each other a very long time; it wasn't sexual."

"But you have had sex with her." Her blunt observation was unexpected, and he wondered if it was really that obvious, or if she was just that perceptive.

Or, he considered, that the hanyou had filled her in. He was going to go with that one.

"It was a long time ago," he assured her, but she cocked a suspicious brow.

"A long time for humans, or demons?"

When he didn't immediately respond, Kagome got her answer.

"Would you have told me about it if it wasn't literally written all over your face?" she asked, and gestured to the patch of skin that was still red from being rubbed clean.

Indignant exasperation produced something from him that resembled a scoff.

"Honestly, no," he answered unexpectedly, startling her a bit. "I would not have even considered such a platonic act as betrayal. I have seen you kiss your kit with more fervor."

It wasn't that she didn't believe him; the man was honest to a fault. But she couldn't get the image out of her head of that demon putting her mouth on his, probably touching him, and despite not initiating the contact, having him accepting her advance without resistance. Probably kissing back a little.

She should be more sympathetic; something very similar had just happened to her, and he was incredibly understanding. A little too understanding for her tastes, actually. But that image in her head made it hurt to look at him, and reason was no match for the involuntary jealousy it spurred.

It didn't help that the panther youkai had so easily agreed to help them, and to such an extent. Kagome couldn't help but assume if she had been properly rebuffed, she would not be so willing – if not eager – to offer her aid.

But, then where would they be? Damn, it seemed wherever he went, there was some horny female trying finagle their way into his pants. No wonder he thought she rescued him that night just to get on his dick. She thought he was just a narcissist, but apparently this happens all the time.

Sesshoumaru watched with a frown as the miko continued to struggle to remedy the incident in her mind. This was one of those times when no matter how well he articulated himself, she just couldn't get the wires to connect in her brain. It didn't matter what he said at this point, that troubled look on her face told him she wasn't going to be able to interpret him clearly. He would have to try something else to get through to her.

Spotting her bookbag propped beside the bed from earlier, he reached for it with obvious purpose.

When he lifted it to rest on top of the pile of furs and proceeded to rifle through it, she became incredulously irate.

"Hey, what are you doing in my bag? We've talked about this!"

She took a step closer, unfolding her arms but stopped short of physically prying him away from her property.

"You have your rouge?" he asked, not looking at her as he abandoned the main pocket of her backpack to unzip the smaller one in front.

There, he found what he was looking for, and pulled out a tube of lipstick.

She furrowed her brow when he presented it to her.

"What's that have to-"

"Put in on."

She looked from him, to where he held it out, and back up to his determined features once more.

"What are-"

"Just put it on," he demanded again, shaking the item impatiently. "Humor me."

She looked uncertainly into his imploring face, obvious displeasure emanating from her in thick waves. But she relented. With an annoyed huff, she indulged in a childish eye roll before snatching the makeup from his hand and doing as he had asked.

She turned to the smashed mirror, ensuring she hadn't gone outside the lines of her lips, before putting the cap back on and turning to face him once more. He took a step closer, well within touching range.

"Now," he began instructively. "Kiss me the way you think she kissed me. By your most conservative of estimates."

Disbelief gave way to incredulity all over again, and she prepared herself refuse none-too-politely. Did he really think she was going to kiss him after what just occurred with Toran?

Looking at his expectant, entitled features as he attempted to will her to him using only his eyes, she realized he did.

What surprised her most, however, was right after that, when she realized she would.

Kami, she hated herself.

Somewhat begrudgingly, yet more eager than she'd like to admit, she ventured forward. He allowed her to come to him, still standing straight, but inclining his head slightly in anticipation of her arrival. She got the feeling he was expending effort to keep the smirk off his lips, and the closer she got to them, the more unruly the butterflies in her stomach became.

She placed her hands on his chest, curling her fingers slightly into the familiar silk as she got up onto her toes. His hands lifted to cradle her elbows as she continued to close the distance, tilting her head just enough to avoid bumping noses, and pressed her lips to his.

Her mouth parted only slightly, and encouraged his to respond in kind, but she refrained from deepening it, as this was supposed to be a conservative estimation of events.

He kissed her back, eyes closed just as hers had, as she used to light grip on his haori to pull him down to her just a little harder.

It was over in a matter of seconds, and now she was ready to resume demanding answers. But when her heels hit the floor and she opened her eyes, the sight that greeted her threw a wrench in her plans.

Involuntary laughter escaped her unrestrained as she took in the image of the Lord of the West with burgundy lipstick smeared generously over his patented smug smirk – ah, there it was. Somehow both above and below his lips had been painted with the substance, coloring only portions of his mouth with makeup.

She hadn't even kissed him that hard. At least, she didn't think so. Certainly not as hard as her teenage hormones would have preferred. But she couldn't deny the result transferred a good deal more of the substance than the small amount he'd worn previously. She got the picture.

His smile seemed to grow with her amusement, and he allowed her to enjoy the sight of him as he watched her anger fade. Finally, he turned from her silly grin back to the mirror beside them, and took a look for himself.

"That really is your color," she mocked, and turned to look into the mirror with him.

"You think?" She giggled when he peered closer to get a better look, and noticed when he seemed to be inspecting himself more critically.

"Hn." The contemplative sound drew an amusing conclusion from her.

"What? Like what you see?" she teased, but it didn't seem to offend him. When he turned to look down at her, she kept her eyes glued to the mirror, enjoying the sight of them together.

"This One is curious as to what your boldest estimate would have wrought."

She turned to face him as she realized what he was getting at, and pushed her shyness aside in favor of a bolder response. She'd been waiting for him to finally initiate something. Ever since the river, he'd been keeping his distance, and not just physically. She kind of wished he didn't think he had to operate under a thinly-veiled ruse, but she was willing to take what she could get. She wasn't going to let this opportunity slip by. She managed to keep the pink from her cheeks, but removed the cap from the tube again to add some more burgundy to her mouth.

"Are you now?" she asked, and he smiled as he watched her apply a gratuitous amount of paint to her pouty, maddening lips.

Once the cap was back on, she fisted a handful of his silk and pulled him down to her with impressive strength. This time, he bent generously to meet her, and placed his hands on her hips upon contact.

As her boldest estimate, this kiss was considerably more involved. Her tongue instantly found his while she made sure to drag her lips harshly across his mouth. He groaned low in his throat as she moved feverishly against him, sliding his hands up her back, and into her hair when she took his lower lip gently between her teeth.

He pulled her to him, pressing forward to accept her assault as she released his poor clothing to slide her hands up each side of his neck, hooking one behind and weaving the other through the short hair at the back of his head.

She used the new leverage to pull herself against him even harder, smashing her tits against his chest while he slid a hand down her bare thigh, eventually encouraging her knee to bend so he could yank her body flush against his.

He knew what she was doing when moved her mouth to drag down his chin, and back up to his cheek while she ground her face into him. He ground her hips into him in response, and let her feel his excitement as she continued painting him with her lips.

He used the break in suction to make up a few breaths he'd missed out on, and lightly panted while she continued to rub her mouth all over him.

He was disappointed when she finally pulled back to assess her handiwork, and reluctantly released her thigh so she could stand on her own. Her smug smile relayed satisfaction, and he chanced a look back in the cracked mirror atop the busted dresser for confirmation he didn't really need.

Yep, he looked ridiculous. But she looked happy. And, he got some decent groping in, so he was willing to consider it a worthy exchange for a slice of his pride. But her next suggestion was pushing it.

"Need some on the collar."

Apparently his input was irrelevant, because before he could consent, she pulled the material of his expensive haori taut and lowered her lips down to his shoulder, proceeding to wipe the remainder of her generously supplied lipstick off of her mouth. That kind of hurt.

"Oh, not the silk, miko," he protested, but wrapped his arms around her again instead of wrenching her away from him. It was too late anyhow.

"What do you care?" she asked. The words left her mouth funny as she was still wiping it off on his clothes. "I wash the thing."

He squeezed her tighter, and she finally halted her cruel attack on his silk.

"Exactly. I only wish to save you from yourself."

But she didn't seem too beat up about it. She smiled in victory at the mess she'd made of him, and he cut his gaze over to the mirror yet again.

While he mourned his shirt and pride, he registered the feeling of her body pressing closer.

"Worth it," she declared. When he looked back down to see the happiness sparkling in her eyes like two shiny blue diamonds, he had to agree. "Now, some on the neck."

There was nothing left on her lips to transfer to him at this point, but he didn't see fit to point that out to her. Her hands rested softly on his chest as she kissed the hollow of his throat, but soon her fingers slid back through his hair, and grabbed onto his shoulder to force his neck to bare.

She had to get back on her tip toes to lick a broken trail past his adam's apple, and placed open mouthed kisses under his ear. The action caused him to tilt his head back and allow unrestricted access. His breath became shakier when he felt her tongue lapping greedily down the side of his neck, and his fingers curled into the back of her shirt when she pinched the skin atop his shoulder between her teeth and clamped down gently. Enjoying his reaction, she nipped and sucked her way across that firm rope of muscle, and made her way back.

When she reached the crook of his shoulder, the strong, wet appendage returned full force, hidden behind the cloak of her lips which attached themselves to him firmly. His eye flicked back over to the mirror, and was greeted with the image of Kagome from behind while she went to work fervently feasting on whatever parts of him she desired. He looked at himself a moment, seeing that stranger again with dark hair and no markings, accepting the amorous attentions of a human girl, and loving every minute of it.

He looked into strange violet eyes paralyzed with lust as he helplessly withstood this frenzied attack from a powerful miko, and he truly couldn't recognize who that man was, or what he thought he was doing. But he didn't care. Not anymore.

He felt her attentions become more pointed when she took to sucking on that spot she seemed to love so much, and he could do naught but close his eyes in blissful pleasure.

It felt too good. Her lips were too strong. He couldn't help but imagine how good they would feel doing what they were doing on other, more sensitive locations, and when he closed his eyes, he did just that.

She felt his breathing become more ragged, and a rumbling turbulence manifesting high in his chest sounded like he was trying to manufacture some sort of bestial noise or growl, but simply no longer had the equipment to do so. She forced herself to stop thinking about that, or else she wouldn't be able to enjoy herself properly.

A sharp gasp entered his lungs when she sucked him even harder into her mouth, and when she finally unlatched herself, he released a long, low hiss mourning the loss.

Left breathless by her unanticipated enthusiasm, Sesshoumaru looked down to the miko before him fully intending to relay his appreciation – in one way or another. He wasn't sure how much appreciation she would allow, exactly, but the boldness she just displayed was very promising. He sought her eyes, hoping the answer might be there, only to find her attention still fixed upon the surprisingly sensitive juncture at the base of his neck, with such a satisfied expression he wondered if she'd managed to find release on her own. It would be a shame if he'd missed it.

His gaze returned to the mirror to get another look at them, and was momentarily shaken by how disheveled he appeared from just a moment ago. His hair was unruly from her hands gliding through it, his skin slightly flushed. His clothing, in addition to being smeared with lipstick, was wrinkled and stretched and untucked from her abuse. He wasn't upset – far from it – it was just startling to see himself so unkempt and riled. The hunger in those violet eyes spoke of a demon deep within, poked and prodded and driven half-wild by only a moment of this woman's affection, and they hadn't even taken their clothes off yet. If anyone was able to rouse his dormant beast from this human shell, it would be her. He was certain he'd never looked so keyed up.

As he marveled at the sight he made, something in the mirror caught his eye. Maneuvering slightly to see himself from behind the miko, he now understood what she found so fascinating.

"A mark."

Just when he thought he couldn't appear even more bewildering, the vision of himself marked by a female was enough to shock him out of his lust.

Typically, the male is the one to lay claim to his mate with permanent bite deep into the shoulder, but it was not unheard of for powerful or aggressive females to mark their males as well.

He certainly never expected to see himself bitten as such, and the implications managed to stir something so deeply ingrained within him that even his humanity hadn't been able to snuff it out completely.

"You were asking for it."

Gazing dumbfounded into the mirror, he lifted his hand to run his fingers experimentally across the small purple patch of broken blood vessels, only to acquire a nice thick coating of miko slobber on the pads of them.

Pleased with herself, Kagome spun around to join him in admiring their reflection, and enjoyed the look on his face as he realized she'd managed to sneak a hickey under his radar. When she did, he was able to take in the sight of her own flushed skin, frazzled hair and lipstick-stained mouth.

His arm snaked naturally around her middle, and when he rested his palm to lay flat on her stomach, he managed to pull her back against him with almost no effort. Twisting himself over her shoulder and bending to accommodate for the height disparity, he put a question in her ear before returning his gaze to the mirror with hers.

"You would mark me as yours?"

He was watching her intently in their reflection, and his heart ached a little when, though her smile did not vanish, it lost some of its volume at his question. She turned her head slightly to address the curious face looming over her shoulder.

"That's not really what it means when humans do it," she explained to him, knowing what he was referring to. Truthfully, the demonic ritual hadn't crossed her mind at all as she was putting her mouth all over him. What started out as an act driven by instinct and lust morphed spontaneously into a little revenge for kissing his ex. But she didn't want to upset him... too badly, and she hoped she didn't. "Maybe some do it to mark their territory, so to speak," she amended. "But not like a dog demon does."

He continued to stare at himself - or rather, at his mark - in disbelief. He was just... captivated by the sight. He'd never imagined himself bearing a female's mark, never even considered it. But he couldn't deny that the thought of belonging to someone wasn't completely distasteful. So long as it was someone like her.

"What does it mean?" he asked, while she watched him watching himself with wide, curious eyes. It wasn't a real bite, but it looked to be about the best he'd expect a human to manage without harming one another. He was admittedly still ignorant on much regarding human customs and way of life, despite living as one for almost a full moon cycle. He was also aware that the company he kept were a group of misfit outliers that did not conform to much of their species' societal norms.

But it was right there, right where a mating mark would go if she were youkai. And it felt so _good_. He had to wonder if the monumental demon rite had any resemblance to how humans chose a mate.

But her answer was light and superficial, derailing those particular thoughts.

"That you taste good." She finally turned her head to him, placing her lips close enough to kiss him on the cheek without much effort. "And you're fun to bite."

Perhaps he'd been overthinking it. But then again, in her funny little group of misfits, the miko was the furthest removed from human society, he'd wager just as much here as in her own time 500 years from now. It was possible instinct had driven her to do something her mind had yet to comprehend.

At any rate, it didn't make the experience any less enjoyable. But something within him was left unfulfilled. Because while not all females marked their mates, all males did. To harbor a bite from a woman without bestowing one of his own suggested he was too weak to lay claim, and his female put him under her protection. Even though that's not what she intended, and even though he was human, it just didn't sit right. His spirit needed appeasement.

"Would you permit a mark?" he asked hopefully, removing his attention from Mirror!kagome to level it at the real deal. His other arm found its way around her hip to encase her in his hold. In response, she placed her hands on top of his, and threaded their fingers together affectionately.

He was supporting her now; she relaxed most of her weight to lean back against him, and rested her head on his shoulder as she tilted her face toward his. He was watching her so raptly that it would have been nerve-wracking if it wasn't so flattering.

Still, she was hesitant to answer.

"Um, depends. What will it mean?" Fair was fair, but she didn't want to accidentally agree to something in the demon world that she didn't understand yet. But the slight upturn of his blotchy lipstick job eased her fears, and made something warm and tingly surge its way through her system.

"That you taste good," he responded in a tone so smooth and deep that it felt like he was making love to her eardrums. When he leaned closer to attempt and persuade another kiss from her, he was met with no resistance. Kagome lifted her chin to let him slant his mouth over hers softly, and soon the soft slide of his tongue against hers overwhelmed her senses, and forced her to squeeze his hands within hers as an outlet.

She whimpered when the kiss ended too soon, but she soon found the affectionate display was far from over. Licking his lips in preparation, he then lowered them to the side of her throat, making her moan deep within it in genuine physical relief. As she'd done with him, he let his tongue travel across the skin beneath the drag of his mouth, as he explored the territory with open mouthed kisses that left a trail of his saliva in their wake.

"That I enjoy putting my mouth on you," he added, before scraping his teeth along her flesh. The noise that elicited from her was magnificent.

"And you enjoy having my mouth on you." His voice was coming quieter, and huskier the more ground he covered, and between that and the feel of him toying with her overly-receptive nerve endings, Kagome shivered. His next statement came out in a whisper.

"And I wish for everyone to know it."

He'd finally zeroed in on the exact spot a mating mark would be. The exact spot she'd marked him. He'd prodded the area with his tongue until the rapid beat of her pulse was felt hammering against the tip, and he pressed down on it.

It was a good thing he held her so tightly, because her legs seemed to turn to jelly in response, and before she had the chance to recover, he gave her chills by clamping down around her with his blunt human teeth.

It wasn't enough to even break the skin, but just enough to appease his restless instincts. He couldn't deny feeling impotent, however, at no longer having the equipment to bestow his permanent bite. Though, with the way his control often eluded him in her presence, perhaps that was for the best.

She gasped at the feeling of being between his teeth. Most who have found themselves within his jaws did not live to tell about it, but this woman would be getting considerably better treatment. She certainly wasn't complaining.

He relaxed his mouth a bit in favor of applying vicious suction on that place above her shoulder, and once he got started, he vowed not to release her until she had a mark to match the one he now wore at her behest.

Her pathetic mewling only spurred him forward, leading to slightly more aggressive treatment. But when she released her death grip on one of his hands so she could reach up behind her and grab the back of his head, he couldn't prevent himself from grinding his hips into her to let her feel how she affected him.

Stabbing his hard, large cock into her ass only caused the incredible sounds to increase. And when she pulled his head down into her shoulder encouragingly, he boldly dragged his hand from the place at her hip up the length of her torso. Her hand was still stacked on top of his, her fingers still woven between his own when he finally breached the swell of her breast, and set himself to rest comfortably upon it.

She cried even louder, more gratefully at the long-desired contact, and she whispered his name reverently when he squeezed, and began kneading and rubbing her just the way she'd been wanting.

Well, maybe not _just_ the way. When she fantasized about him touching her like this, it wasn't with all of these annoying layers of clothing preventing skin on skin contact. And maybe instead of her neck, he could be doing that to the hardened peaks of her nipples as she writhed beneath him. But still, she appreciated it.

He couldn't resist lifting his eyes to the mirror again, and get a look at the picture they made. He saw Kagome reeling, thoroughly enjoying his attentions, and enthusiastically accepting his mark, begging for it. Maybe not outright, but with her body, her reactions... she was begging for many things at the moment.

It was making him too feral. Any other time, he would relish the opportunity to embrace the lost part of himself, but with the way she was encouraging him, he feared he may cause more damage to her body than he intended on.

With that in mind, he regretfully removed his lips from her skin to get a look at his progress. When he did, he was glad he'd stopped.

Her mark was only a little bigger than his, but much darker. That would take several days to heal, so he was proud of himself for holding back. She didn't make it easy.

He stopped fondling her chest to hug her back against him, and gave her a moment to gather herself enough to stand on her own. While he waited, he laved the skin he'd broken gently with his tongue, and offered apologetic kisses to soothe any pain she might be feeling.

If he were a demon, he'd be able to sense her pain. He'd be able to heal her with his poison. If only he had his youki, so he could care for her properly. But then, if he had his youki, he couldn't be with her. She still deserved better.

As a human, he was so woefully unequipped. But he'd do all he could with what he had.

As the dizziness stopped, she managed to open her eyes to assess the damage in the mirror and immediately noticed the deep purple bruise on her shoulder. Before her breathing was righted, she panted out a breathy question to the attentive ex-inuyoukai behind her.

"Are you sure it doesn't mean... that I have a very aggressive, very protective, very _feral_ male who cares about me... and unless you want to tangle with him, you better keep your distance?"

She got the feeling the demonic practice had something to do with marking territory, and despite this being framed as turnabout, she couldn't help but suspect there was an element of possessiveness at play here.

When he didn't answer her, she assumed she wasn't way off base.

He held her to him as she found her legs, and got lost in the image of them together so comfortably. He studied her face like he was trying to read her thoughts, and noticed how her expression turned melancholy the longer she appraised her bite mark. He had worried about that.

"Does it displease you?" he asked gently, hoping the answer was no. So he was slightly devastated when she nodded in response.

"Why?"

Because she is human. Because she is not youkai. Because he was youkai.

Because he tried to kill her.

There were several correct answers to his question, and she hadn't landed on any of them.

"Because it's temporary."

He didn't react, even though her response did surprise him. But he couldn't deny having similar misgivings. It was so hard to push down the deep-seeded desire to elongate his fangs and do this properly. Perhaps she felt something similar.

But nothing could be done about that.

And not one to wallow in the unchangeable, Sesshoumaru searched his mind for a solution.

"Hn, I see." He wrapped his arms around her shoulders to pull her back into his chest. When he rubbed his cheek against hers, her somber mood seemed to improve a bit. "I suppose I will need to keep biting you to ensure it remains."

By the time his statement registered, his lips were already back on her hickey, and she squealed as she resisted half-heartedly.

"No! I have a couple days before this one wears off; you can wait until then." She tried to turn around in his hold, bit his strong arms locked her into place and stifled any movement.

"I do not wish to wait." Finally, he gave her enough slack to spin and face him, but that didn't stop his mouth from returning to the bruise he'd made, and for all her protests, she threw her head back to give him even a clearer shot.

It only took a couple steps to reach the bed of furs, and it didn't take much to topple her balance enough to get her off her feet and onto her back. He crawled on top of her, straddling her to pin her down, and continued to seek her mark again. She was giggling and shrieking with enjoyment at his attack, but she was still attempting to pry him off her – by the shoulder, by the hair, anyway she could think of.

But he was determined. And sturdy. Luckily, he wasn't being so rough with her skin this time around.

He didn't really want to bruise her any further, and she didn't really want him to stop, but pride and desire kept the fight going as they battled for nothing more than bragging rights. And amusement.

Just like their bickering sessions, this little competitive back and forth was a game. A sport. But apparently, they'd graduated to physical sparring, with just a side of verbal.

"What about what I want? Doesn't that matter?" She scoffed in mock indignance when he lifted a brow at her, before taking a wrist in each hand and pinning them above her head. He descended on her mark once more.

"Of course it does," he assured her between licks. "and you do not wish me to stop."

She smiled even wider, because he was right. He was right, and they both knew it. But she continued to writhe, so he transferred both of her wrists into one of his hands, freeing up the other one to explore.

But in lieu of a more lascivious expedition, he'd opted to stroke her cheek gently as he looked down at her with inconceivable fondness. He stretched himself long to loom over her, trapping himself as well as her in his hypnotic gaze.

"I swear, I'm not playing hard to get."

He had to grin at that, and the sight of his true, un-sarcastic, un-cruel, un-mocking smile of genuine happiness took away all her troubles and banished this difficult day from existence. When she thought back on this day in the future, all she would remember was this. Was _him_.

He leaned down slowly, and she became giddy with excitement when his intentions became clear. Stopping to hover just an inch from her face, he seemed to be etching her into his memory as well. His fingertips played at her jaw.

"As prey, I concede, you are not as easy as you appear."

And then, he guided her to his lips, and kissed her softly, but good and long.

When he pulled back, he stayed close, and continued to stare. Unrushed and unconcerned with anything else; he simply soaked her in.

Smiling back with her hands still trapped over her head, she attempted to appeal to his momentary softness.

"Alright I give. You can let me go."

He only considered her suggestion a moment before finally complying, and she used her newfound freedom to wrap her hands behind his neck and pull him down to her again. She was going for a deeper kiss, but after a quick teasing peck, he returned to his original mission, kissing her throat and threatening to bite her again.

With both his hands now free, he ran one languidly down to her leg, and back up her hip, exploring and teasing and testing the waters gently. When he felt her shift beneath him and lift her hips up into his, he took it as a request to handle her more pointedly.

She seemed to like it earlier when he massaged her breasts, so he dragged his hand up over her shirt until he was cupping her, and offered a gentle squeeze. His name again from her lips in a thankful whine had the hairs on his neck standing at attention, and that wasn't all.

Drawn to her mark like a moth to a flame, he kept the bulk of his attention there, however. He couldn't help it, it was just so exciting to him, knowing that he'd put it there. Knowing he had one too. It was hard to concentrate on anything else. That was how he didn't notice until it was too late.

He felt the smear of Kagome's lipstick as she streaked it across his cheek, and finally succeeded in stopping his assault. Stunned at her audacity, and surprised to have been tricked, he lifted his head from her neck to see Kagome smiling just as smugly, just as pleased with herself as she had been when she'd given him the hickey. She was not afraid to use her allure to her advantage, and he had to respect that.

He turned his head to see her lipstick firmly in her hand with the cap off, before slowly panning back to her smiling, sparkly-eyed features, and blinked.

She watched in fascination as the man's usually stoic face ran the gamut of emotions before her eyes. Confusion, shock, admiration... it was amazing. But when diabolically retaliatory made an appearance on his vengeful façade, hers dropped in impending doom.

Before she could reason with him, his smirk turned evil and he made a play for the lipstick. It took no time at all to wrestle it away from her, and once in his hand, he drew a long streak of burgundy down her own cheek, right where she had gotten him. An eye for an eye was the theme for today. Or, a mark for a mark.

Her squeals of protests hadn't saved her from his payback, but he enjoyed the sight of her trapped beneath him and squirming. He took a moment to admire his handiwork; first her bruise, and then her cheek... He was an artist all of a sudden, with Kagome as his canvas. His muse. His fucking medium.

But as he continued to stare, something caught his attention, and like flipping a switch, his proud, contented features were washed away. A distressed look settled over him, and Kagome noticed the difference immediately.

"What's wrong?" she asked him, but he only answered by turning his head to look at that stranger in the mirror one more time.

Finally, for the first time that night – and in a good, long while, actually – he noticed something familiar in his reflection. Sure, he had black hair, and a mating mark, and lipstick all over his face. But his focus was fixed on the solitary burgundy stripe the miko had drawn over his cheekbone.

He didn't think she did it on purpose, or even subconsciously. Perhaps it was just an accident. Perhaps the mark was as well. Not instinct, or intention, just... a coincidence.

And maybe she hadn't intended to remind him of who he was in that moment, but she had. The man in that mirror was so different from everything he ever thought he was, everything he'd prided himself in being and worked so hard to achieve. And every day he walked in his skin, his true self became more and more lost to time. He could feel himself slipping away. He could see it.

Because each day he lived as this human, he found it just a bit more tolerable, just a bit more acceptable. And each day he spent with this miko, he enjoyed himself just a bit more, thought of his old self less. When he was with her, he forgot about his lands, and his duties and his power. Everything important, no longer was while in her presence.

He was starting to feel that, as long as he could be with her, maybe he wouldn't mind being human so much. Maybe he could even like it. It terrified him.

He wondered then, if it weren't for Rin and needing to find her; would he even want to change back? Would he be trying to? The urge to shirk his duties and play make believe with this woman was getting stronger by the day. Was this how his father felt? Was this how he'd so easily abandoned him?

This curse was beginning to feel less like a curse to him. To him, it looked like an out.

This was his ticket out of that life of responsibilities and expectation. His ticket to freedom. And all he had to do to get it was nothing. Not a thing, and he could disappear forever with this new identity.

He hated that he was considering it. He was losing sight of himself, and he hated that he liked it.

Kagome was about to demand he talk to her when with a sorrowful look at himself, he lifted his arm and drew a second burgundy stripe on his cheek, right beneath the other line. And after it was drawn, he continued to stare at a human pretending to be a demon, and not the other way around.

A look of horror stuck her face as realization dawned, and he continued to look side-eyed, sadly at the former Lord of the West.

Two crudely drawn stripes were enough to remind himself of that demon... for now. But it wouldn't be much longer before that demon would be lost to him forever, never to return. How long would it take? Another month? A year? Ten years? Was he ever going to return to himself? Would he even care if he did?

The thought of walking away from her was already excruciating. How hard would it be when more time had passed, and his affection for her had grown even stronger? How much longer until leaving would be impossible?

As his desire for Kagome grew, he could feel himself slipping away.

"I am so sorry."

Her hushed voice took his focus off that damn mirror, but he couldn't find it in him to alter his expression for her benefit. He was troubled, and sad, and he looked it. And she knew it; he could see it in her empathetic face. But it wasn't her problem.

"It is nothing."

He was no longer feeling playful, or amorous, so he pulled himself away from her to sit back on the furs. Kagome immediately pushed herself up, and followed him onto her knees. She crawled close, and rested between his outstretched legs as he leaned back on his hands.

"No, I mean, I've been having fun with you," she clarified, and his passionless expression returned. Guilt, and worry rolled off her in waves thick enough to choke him, and he couldn't decipher why.

"Why apologize for that?" he wondered dismissively, and returned the lipstick to her possession. She quickly took it and put the cap back on before throwing it carelessly onto the floor. Then, she dove into him, throwing her arms around his middle as she hugged her ear to his chest. In response, he sat up more stably so he could wrap her in his hold as well.

"I've only been thinking how much I like you like this," she admitted shamefully. "How much I like being with you as a human." She paused a moment while she considered whether she should continue. "I even thought that I hoped you would never change back." She felt him stiffen in her arms, and squeezed him tighter. "But you must be dying to return to your old self. I've been so selfish."

She tried to keep the quiver from her voice as she felt her eyes begin to prick with tears, but he likely noticed. Sensing her distress, he stroked her gently across the back to reassure her.

"It is not your fault I am human, Kagome."

The quiet declaration made her go rigid, and from within her whole body screamed in frustration and fear at the terrible secret she still kept from him. Keeping it locked away inside her was weighing her down more every day, and the one person who she could talk to about it was the one person who must never know. Not after all this time, and all they'd shared. She was way past the event horizon on this one. Living with her deception was just going to have to be her burden from now on.

When she seized up, Sesshoumaru misinterpreted her reaction, and drew her closer.

"I will find a way to change back, I am certain of it."

Gods, she hoped so. But then, she also didn't. She was so ashamed of her selfish desires, but no matter how she tried to ignore them, she could no longer deny them. She wanted him to stay with them. With her. And as much as she wanted to help him return to his life, she dreaded the day when he finally didn't need them anymore.

Even if he couldn't be with her, would he write her off all together? Shut her out of his life, so as not to remind himself of the embarrassment he'd suffered during his distasteful stint as a human?

He could feel her jaw moving against stomach as he watched her cling to him.

"When you change back, what will happen to us? Will you just go back to the West?"

"I must return to my duties," he reminded her gently. Not like she'd forgotten. He was still rubbing soothing patterns on her back when she finally pulled away from him. He allowed her up, but didn't release her.

"Will you forget about me?"

She looked him dead in the eye, her own wide with fear of his answer, and preemptively resentful of what it might be. He didn't like to see her this way, but her response pleased him. He was flattered, and relieved that it mattered so much to her. That he mattered.

With a gentle smile, he lifted his hand to softly cradle her cheek, and used his thumb to remove the lone tear that had managed to escape down it. She leaned into his touch.

"I do not see how that is possible."

She reached up to rest her hand on top of his. He grabbed it, and lowered them down to rest between them – still together.

"Will you let me visit you sometimes?"

Something flashed in his eyes, and for a brief moment she thought he would refuse her. And when he hugged her to him even tighter than before, and rested his cheek upon her crown, her fears doubled.

"If you wish to."

She was mollified with his answer – at the moment, she figured it was the best she would do. But when she considered his statement a bit longer, she finally read between the lines.

With Sesshoumaru, you had to listen to what he wasn't saying. When he says 'if you wish to,' what he really means is 'you will not.'

But rather than argue, she was willing to take what she could get on that front. Looking to push her success a bit further, she ventured to wrest another promise from him.

"Will you visit me?"

In the silence that ensued, she worried he might not answer at all.

"If I am welcome."

'I am not.'

This time, she couldn't hold her tongue.

"Of course you are."

An amused snort disturbed the hair at the top of her head.

"Perhaps you should consult your alpha before extending any invitations to This One."

"What do you mean? Inuyasha's totally fine with you now." She pulled herself away from him again, and this time he let her go. "But even if he wasn't, he's not the boss of me. I can see anyone I wish to."

The way she lifted her chin with disobedient petulance made him smile, he couldn't help it. "He's just going to have to deal with it. Besides, it never stopped you before."

"And how did that work out?" he prompted, trying to jump-start her memory of a time not incredibly long ago. It seemed she'd already forgotten.

"Things change."

Him most of all. But before he could remind her of all the reasons she should hate him, a knock at the door drew their attention to the entrance.

"Are you guys decent?"

Inuyasha's voice was clear from the other side, and Kagome rolled her eyes while they both answered that they were. Hearing that, the hanyou let himself inside.

"Hey Kagome! Everyone's getting hungry, so I'm gonna..."

Her friend's bemusement was momentarily confusing, until she remembered that they had lipstick smeared all over them like a couple of psychos.

"What the fuck is all over your faces?" he asked, then, thought better of it. "Do I even want to know?

"Probably not," Kagome answered honestly. Suddenly, he looked more annoyed than bewildered, and she couldn't hear exactly what he was muttering as he turned right around and made for the stairs.

She turned back to Sesshoumaru with a smile to see him already smiling at her. Satisfied to end on a good note, she made her way off the bed, and he followed.

"Come on, let's get cleaned up and see if they need any help. We can go over the new plan after dinner."

* * *

Having awoken before dawn the previous day as well, it didn't take long after dinner settled in their stomachs for sleep to claim the traveling search party. Toran had returned at dawn as promised, and after a brief run-down, handed Sesshoumaru the map she'd drawn for them.

She'd take them as far as she could go, and the rest would be up to them. But after dropping them off at the village, she would be making whatever moves she could to help them on her end. Mostly, that amounted to issuing orders to soldiers and contacting a few relevant allies. She would do what Sesshoumaru couldn't without outing himself completely.

Packed and ready to go, the group had all gathered into the courtyard and prepared to depart. The only thing left was determine the travel arrangements.

Due to her recent injury, Kirara was still in recovery mode. After flying three humans and their belongings on a day-long trip to the compound, the strength she needed to heal had been severely depleted. She could still escort them safely, but it had been decided that to lighten her load and ease her burden, somebody would have to travel with Toran

"Sesshoumaru can ride with me," she suggested immediately. "Inuyasha can carry his woman, and the others ride on the cat."

Toran couldn't fly like Sesshoumaru had been able to, but her ability to manipulate the elements was just as useful. Freezing water beneath her feet allowed her walk on top of it, and the water in the air was just as easy for her to control. She could create a bridge of ice through the sky that materialized the moment she touched it, and fell away the moment she left. She could also manufacture wind to blow at her back hard enough to make her glide across the slippery surface at incredible speeds, so to any human looking up from below, it actually appeared like she was flying.

Kagome definitely didn't like her idea for several reasons, but apparently, neither did Sesshoumaru.

"The miko will not ride alone with the lecher," he decreed with a cold glare at the monk. "Inuyasha will carry her."

The hanyou's scoff begged to differ.

"Feh, Sango ain't riding with that perv either."

A guilty, nervous grin was plastered on Miroku's face as his friends' totally justified opinion of him, and Sesshoumaru looked from that, over to each of the members of his party thoughtfully.

Resigned, he came up with the most acceptable solution available to him.

"Very well. The miko will travel with Toran." Kagome's eyes expanded at the notion, and she snapped her distressed gaze over to him. It became even more desperate when she recognized the determined set to his jaw. "I shall ride with the monk."

"It is not ideal, my lord," Miroku bemoaned in obvious disappointment, and Kagome was grateful for his opposition. But Sesshoumaru's response was less than sympathetic.

"Nor are your unfortunate hands," he informed him, and then glared. "Try it with me, and see what occurs." The monk hung his head at the prospect of an all-male seating arrangement, but had no course to refuse.

"Is Kagome gonna be safe with her?" Inuyasha asked, but Toran didn't seem concerned with his wariness.

Sesshoumaru didn't look over at her, nor did he pay any heed to her eavesdropping.

"Toran is insufferable, but she will not harm the miko." Inuyasha seemed satisfied with his brother's response, and took him at his word. He knew he didn't take any chances when it came to Kagome's safety.

Sesshoumaru turned from him over to Kagome, who was anxiously adjusting her over-stuffed backpack on her shoulders. "Does such an arrangement sound acceptable?"

Miroku was right. It wasn't ideal. But she was willing to suck it up, and do what she had to do. Honestly, she would prefer Miroku's groping, but if the monk found out, her ass was never going to get a break after that. She looked up to him confidently.

"If you say I am safe, then I trust you, Sesshoumaru."

Toran smirked at the display, taking detailed mental notes on how the two interacted with each other and adding it to her growing pile of evidence. For the most part, her old friend could imitate his former self pretty accurately. When he spoke to the miko, however, was when the change was undeniable.

With that settled, Sesshoumaru wordlessly relieved her of her cargo, and strapped the backpack gracefully over his own shoulders. Going back out onto the road meant getting back into his disguise, so the hoodie sweatshirt Kagome had been lending him in addition made him look more like a modern-day student than ever. She smiled in thanks, and everyone got ready to leave.

The Western Lord got settled in behind Miroku on Kirara, while Sango took her spot on Inuyasha's back. Nervously, Kagome approached the panther demon, and prepared to surrender her will in lieu of a more efficient journey, and was instantly gathered to the youkai's side. With a startled shriek, she felt the water harden beneath her feet, and the wind at her back pushed Kagome heavenward at a very steep incline.

As Sesshoumaru turned around to watch the two females ascend the sky on a road made of ice, he wondered if he'd made a grave error.

It was scary at first – being so high up. But the most nerve-wracking part was looking down at her feet to see nothing but the earth far down below... so she stopped doing that. The panther seemed more amused than annoyed when Kagome clutched onto her side for dear life, but as the minutes rolled on, she became more comfortable with the sensation of being constantly airborne, and was able to relax a little. She still held onto the demon's hand, however, and if she minded terribly, she didn't show it.

Not a word had been spoken, and they still had a ways to go before they got to the village. The two of them were in the lead, as it was Toran's route they were following to get there. Kirara was a short distance behind, and when she looked down, Kagome could barely make out the red of Inuyasha's clothing as he raced across the terrain and easily kept their pace while he followed.

She felt guilty for not engaging Toran in conversation so far, despite having many, _many_ questions for her. At her continued silence, she suspected that perhaps the female preferred not to talk.

'Maybe that's something they have in common,' she thought bitterly, then chided herself for her sour attitude.

But every time she looked over at the panther demon, a small, pleasant smile rested contentedly upon her features that made the intimidating youkai appear more approachable.

'This is stupid. Just talk to her! She's probably perfectly nice.'

She already knew which topic she wanted to breach, but thought good and hard about the most appropriate way to do it. Finally, she decided.

"So, you and Sesshoumaru used to date?" She tried to ask casually, but faltered the second appraising demon eyes slid her way. Then, they were back out ahead of them.

"If humans take 'dating' to mean that we occasionally slept together, then yes."

Her bored, blunt response made Kagome tense involuntarily, and the panther's lip ticked upward at the girl's reaction.

"It was long ago," she assured her. "Long before his father died. The bulk of it anyway."

Kagome accepted the information, and seeing how she didn't appear to be offended by the question, she ventured another.

"How did you meet?"

Her attention jumped back and forth between the empty pathway ahead and miko at her side.

"My father is Lord of the North," she finally confessed after brief consideration. "He and no Taisho were allies." She supposed she shouldn't be that surprised. It would explain why she knew the area so well, and why Sesshoumaru seemed to think she was so crucial to their success here.

Toran saw the young woman absorbing the information with mild fascination, and decided to elaborate for her education.

"It was even decreed that Sesshoumaru and I would mate at one point." That definitely seemed to surprise her, and she knew she had the miko's full attention. But rather than letting her squirm, she generously resolved to put her at ease. "But those ambitions died with his father. Now that he is lord, Sesshoumaru may choose for himself."

Well, that was good. For him, anyway. Kagome couldn't imagine being forced to marry someone she didn't love. But she didn't know how to respond, because she really didn't know how the panther felt about it. She certainly didn't seem too broken up.

While she tried to think of a safe reply, Toran interrupted with a question of her own.

"So, how is he as a human? Still orally fixated?"

Toran smirked as her question registered, and was pleased that the young woman was at least able to trudge through her embarrassment far enough to become indignant. Human modesty always fascinated her.

"I'm sure I don't know!" But as she vehemently refuted her, she adjusted her scarf to ensure her mark was still covered.

"Oh, you should consider it." Her smirk grew suggestively. "All that ice melts away in the throes of passion, I assure you."

Kagome tried not to look too shaken by the statement, but the unanticipated advice definitely threw her. She didn't know what she'd been expecting the panther to say to her, but encouraging her to hook up with her ex was definitely not a contender.

But after the last week or so, she wasn't even sure it was an option anyway.

"It's not like that between us," she insisted with just a hint of bitterness. Now it was Toran's turn to look confused, and she turned to her.

"Why not?"

That's what Kagome would like to know. They'd had some close calls. Even last night felt like it might be finally going that way, until he pulled back again. Granted, that one was kind of her fault, but still. She couldn't help but think that if he wanted to be with her like that, he would have by now. He certainly could have.

"We're friends."

An amused snort immediately dismissed that notion.

"Sesshoumaru doesn't have friends."

"He has you," Kagome countered, and the panther shot her another look.

"Yes," she agreed patronizingly. "And he has been inside me."

Kagome frowned. That was not something she wanted to think about, and neither was her own relationship status with the former daiyoukai. She decided that the best course at this point was a change of topic.

"Did you know Inuyasha's mother?" That was a question she would never dare ask Sesshoumaru. Toran raised a brow and spared her another brief glance.

"The hime? I never had the pleasure. Didn't even know about her until after he died."

"Really?"

She wondered if Sesshoumaru knew, and how he learned about it.

"There were rumors, sure, but I thought they were just that." Her gaze turned wistful as she stared off ahead. "We all did."

"He never brought her around?" Kagome scrunched her brow. "Why not?"

"Because he was smart." She replied instantly, finally turning her head to meet the young woman's eyes. "Bringing his human mistress into the West would have been devastating."

Kagome recoiled at her confident estimation before responding.

"Would it really have been so bad?"

"Yes," she immediately replied again, as if it wasn't up for dispute. Seeing the miko's disheartened reaction, she softened a bit. "Don't get me wrong, I have no moral objection to it. But politically, it would have been a nightmare for him."

Sesshoumaru had mentioned something about the trouble such a thing would bring, but Kagome assumed it had more to do with the personal opinions of a few individuals. She hadn't really considered how it could possibly affect anyone beyond that.

"It would?"

Toran nodded.

"Not just for him. The entire Western realm would have been in danger."

"Over one human woman?" Kagome asked skeptically, if not outright dismissive. She fought the urge to roll her eyes. "I find that hard to believe."

The panther took a moment to assess the strange young woman her trusted ally had become so taken with. Granted, she hadn't much experience in the company of humans, but they seemed to operate with at least a basic understanding of the youkai world and how it worked, as well as their place in it.

This girl appeared to be completely ignorant of such matters. Accompanied by her odd manner of dress and speech, she gathered this girl must not be from here. But where, she could not discern.

She graciously decided to enlighten the young woman.

"Like it or not, demons view attachment to humans as a weakness. Had his enemies known, there would have been challenger after challenger vying for his title." She noticed how the girl's concern seemed to grow as she continued her explanation, so she felt it was important to give her as much detail as possible. "And not just enemies. His own allies, advisors and subjects would have sought to overthrow him."

"Why?" Kagome immediately demanded, slightly horrified at the notion. Toran shrugged.

"To ensure he wasn't as weak as he appeared," she replied simply. "To rid themselves of the shame of having a human woman for a lady."

Kagome frowned, disgusted by the response. Hating being hated. Resentful of youkai reaction to her kind, and how she knew most of her kind returned the sentiment.

Toran was aware of her inner turmoil, yet continued.

"His entire army would constantly be tested. Demon subjects would not want to bow to a human."

"What if she didn't make them bow?" she demanded. Angry. Hopeful. Frustrated.

Toran couldn't help but smile at the woman's innocence, and resulting ignorance.

"Even worse. They want a strong leader they can live up to. Sesshou- I mean, _no_ _Taisho,"_ she corrected, and Kagome pretended not to notice, _"_ is of one of the last pure inu bloodlines. To delude it is considered sacrilege. Taking that hime was a slap in the face to all who have supported him over the years."

"It's so stupid." She was finally unable to contain her frustration, and Toran listened on patiently. "It shouldn't matter what race someone is. If they really loved him, they would want him to be happy."

"I'm inclined to agree with you, miko," the cat supplied, and Kagome couldn't say that didn't shock her. "But it was not just for love of his lands he kept her hidden. To bring her would have put her in peril as well." The miko's temper cooled just a bit as she focused on the panther's words. Toran continued to look into the distance as she recited her spiel.

"With everyone after his head, she would have been an easy mark to hurt him. Instead of battling him, all they would need to do would be to harm her, or their son, and he would easily be destroyed." A whole new round of sadness flooded Kagome's system as she thought of Inuyasha being harmed. He'd been dealing with people's hatred of him even before he was born. She wondered if he could sense it in his mother's womb, wondered if his demon sense could tell him even then that he was an outcast.

"If she were taken hostage, they could have demand anything they wanted."

Something hard, and spiteful passed over the panther's face then, but left the second Kagome could recognize it.

"In fact, I believe that was why he died. Were it not for Tenseiga, all three of them would have burned up in that fire."

The fire!

Sesshoumaru had told her about that, but not the circumstances surrounding it. Was that how he died? Saving his human mistress?

No wonder he felt so bitter about it. His distaste of mixing the races finally made a lot more sense.

"Any bitches who wanted her place would be right to challenge her as well," Toran continued. "He would have been looking over his shoulder for the rest of her short life."

When she looked down at the miko once again, Toran could see the conflict roaring in her mind as she tried to understand the troubling truths she yearned to change, and the increasingly dejected countenance as she realized she could not.

"No, he loved his lands, his people, and her too much to ever bring her to the West. It would have been foolish and reckless and detrimental."

That was the moral of that story, Kagome was sure. And though she wasn't pleased to hear it, her anger was not for Toran, but for the whole intolerant society she came from. She still lived in.

"I see," she replied simply. Toran could practically taste her disdain.

But that wasn't her intention. She wasn't trying to upset the poor girl, just make her aware of the seriousness of her predicament.

"Don't fret miko," she said, adopting a lighter tone. "From what I heard, the hime had a great life. He set her up in a beautiful palace in a human village." Attempting to assuage, she flashed the girl a pleasant grin. "She wanted for nothing, and she got pleasured by him whenever she requested it. What a life!" Kagome rolled her eyes. As if that was the important thing.

Toran could tell she was losing her, so she hurried the miko to her point.

"She loved him enough to take what he was able to give her. He even gave her the son she longed for. She was a good woman."

But it wasn't enough for Kagome. All she could think of what that hime was denied. Even when they tried to keep the peace, ignorance and intolerance still made them suffer. What was the point in even trying to play by their rules?

"But then she lost her love due to that bigotry anyway."

"Exactly," Toran agreed. But Kagome got the feeling she was missing _her_ point.

"So, some might say it didn't matter if he hid her, they still got torn apart regardless."

The panther pinned her with an intelligent glare.

"Others might say that is why he should have not touched her in the first place." The miko scowled, not willing to condone that opinion, but she couldn't formulate a suitable response. "He was a goner either way, but his decision saved her life. And Inuyasha's."

Talk of her friend once again had her thinking of how hard it must have been for him. Not to mention his parents. The whole thing just made her terribly sad.

"What a terrible choice."

"But an easy one," the panther insisted. "Had anything happened to her, he wouldn't have been able to live with himself. He wouldn't have wanted to."

And Tenseiga was forged to stave off that inevitability as long as possible. Sesshoumaru's father went to every extreme available to him to protect a human woman, but Kagome couldn't imagine what it would be like to live knowing the man she loved gave his life in doing so. Knowing she was only here because he wasn't, and that if she wasn't, he still might be. She'd feel terrible.

And all because of a few cowards who are so scared of something they don't understand. It was so unfair.

"You don't always get what you want, just because you deserve it," Toran imparted further, sensing the young woman's resentment. "It's just not how the world works. You have to accept reality for what it is, and take what you can scrape out of it. Live in the moment."

Gods, she was getting really tired of people cramming that advice down her throat. But the panther youkai felt inclined to reveal a few of life's secrets to the miko who seemed to be overflowing in abundance with naiveté. She would give her the benefit of her centuries, and in her opinion, this woman was too old to be living in such an idealistic world. It would do her no favors.

"Especially you mortals, who have so few to spare. If I was human, I would take what I could get, and just enjoy the ride."

Kagome glowered, face darkening with contempt. "Until you become human, you can't possibly know that."

"Who knows," Toran continued on as if she hadn't heard her. "maybe you'll be lucky and come back as something more long-lived next time around."

Her condescending cadence was starting to get on Kagome's nerves. Why did every demon think they were so much better than her? Think they knew better? With their long lives, there was something to be said of age and experience, but when it came to love and emotions most of them appeared to be totally clueless. That was where they could stand to learn a thing or two from their mortal counterparts. If only they could work together, and help each other with their deficiencies instead of always fighting and killing over them.

"Sesshoumaru is special." Toran could tell Kagome was still struggling with what she was attempting to get across to her. If she wanted to get the miko all boned up on the plight and ramifications of interspecies relations, she was going to have to be more direct.

"He was always destined for great things, anybody who has spent 5 minutes with him can plainly see it; I'm sure you can too." She could. It was impossible to miss. But she didn't see what the point of bringing that up was. Regardless, she allowed Toran to say her piece.

"That is why we are so protective over him and what he does. We all want what is best for him, because he is going to be the one to lead us to greatness." She smiled proudly, chin high, and spoke with confidence. "I always knew that if we follow him, he will show us the way."

Kagome was a little surprised at the depth of regard his people seemed to have for him, but she supposed she shouldn't have been. She knew how Sesshoumaru was, powerful and sure-handed. But she didn't realize how much stock and faith his fellow demons seemed to put into him. Didn't know he did what he did for anyone other than himself.

She didn't know exactly what it is he was supposed to do for them, or lead them to. What _greatness_ exactly meant to this demon. Having seen how the majority of youkai operate, she surmised it had something to do with power and prevalence.

But it sounded like the expectations placed upon him was more for their own good than his. They wanted him a certain way so they could live and thrive, but what about him? What cost would he pay?

"If you really cared for him," Kagome opined, "you would let him follow his heart without judging him or shunning him."

She chanced a look behind her, and caught a glimpse of the man in question. Not too far behind, he was watching her too, from behind the monk on top of Kirara.

"Sesshoumaru is very important; not just to me, but yes, to me specifically." She turned back around to find the panther demon staring right at her, giving her full attention to demand it returned. She seemed to think this was important for her to hear. "I've known him my whole life. I would kill for that demon, and have many times. I know him well, that's how I know the influence you now hold."

Kagome scoffed, and prepared to tell her that nobody had influence over the former dog demon, but was cut off by the intense female. Her insistent eyes relayed the weight, and significance of her words.

"He's in your hands right now, miko," she informed her gravely. "I'm relying on you to take care of him for me. You need to do whatever you can to keep him safe." Her plea was easily detected in her orders, and Toran attempted to appeal to her compassion to help appreciate the gravity. "The hopes and welfare of millions ride on his shoulders. This is bigger than just you or even him. If he falls, we all fall."

It was right there, on the tip of the cat's tongue, but she stopped short of spoon feeding the bitter reality to her. But Kagome didn't need her to. Just like Sesshoumaru, she had to listen to what was not being said. She wasn't asking her to protect him from physical harm, or human ailments of which he was now susceptible. Mortal hazards were not what she was referring to.

"Do the right thing," she commanded sternly. "If you look in your heart, I think you will know what that is."

The clever cat was not a fool. And she had known Sesshoumaru forever; she likely noticed the changes he had undergone in his time with them. Judging by her first question to her, she probably also noticed how close they'd become.

Who Toran wanted her to protect him from was her. To not lead him down the road that led to his father's demise. She probably looked at her and saw the hime who took away their great ruler, and threw everything into disarray. She saw her as the threat all of them would see her as.

What he did when he was human was inconsequential, but once he returned to them, it had to be alone. She was making sure the miko threat didn't chip away at his judgement, and persuade his weak human heart otherwise.

"I will help all I am able," the youkai assured her, "but I can't be there for him like you can. He is your responsibility. Protect him for me until he changes back."

"What if he doesn't?" Kagome challenged. It was the outcome nobody was supposed to entertain, but gnawed at her heart constantly. It was her biggest fear and greatest hope all rolled up into one dense, painful burden. She couldn't talk about it, but she couldn't ignore it either.

Toran finally released her from her heavy gaze to look out on the path ahead of them. Into nothing.

"Then kami help us."

She watched the demoness stare out ahead, stoic and passionless, but with obvious turbulence wreaking havoc within. Resentful of the expectations put on her, as well as Sesshoumaru, Kagome no longer feared offending her with her questions.

"Are you in love with him?" she demanded, and only earned the briefest glances.

"I'm not sure I know what love is." Kagome's scoff startled the female. Who was she kidding?

Maybe demons didn't know what love was, but that didn't mean they didn't feel it. Perhaps they were just bad at identifying it. Because, call it what you want, but her devotion to Sesshoumaru - her concern - seemed a whole lot more involved than simply wanting her race to thrive.

But, like Sesshoumaru, she seemed determined to deny it at all costs. As if it was some terrible, detrimental scourge.

"Demons don't bother with such things. He's strong and powerful and good in bed. That is all I require."

She was trying to distract her from her point, just like Sesshoumaru would do. But she wouldn't let Toran rattle her. Kagome's eyes narrowed.

"Then why didn't it work out between you? Why did you break up?"

For the first time, the miko could identify a hint of displeasure at her demanding question, and she waited expectantly while the panther demon continued to look thoughtfully ahead. It looked like she was trying to decide upon an answer.

"Life is too short," was what she finally went with.

"Not for you."

'Live in the moment' was her advice to a human, but demons were not afforded that luxury. Their lives were painfully long, and any decisions they made would affect them for many, many years. Any mistakes or regrets made would be something they lived with for centuries. So, she figured, a demon would have to make their choices very carefully, and with great consideration.

She thought human lives were disposable, because they were over in a blink of their own. But just because it was short, it didn't mean it didn't matter. And just because love could be painful, it didn't mean it was better to avoid it, or pretend it didn't exist.

"I think he wants someone to love him, but he doesn't think anyone can. He doesn't think he is allowed to." Hearing Toran talk just like Sesshoumaru, repeating the same ideas on love verbatim, reminded her of a cult. Someone told them these things. Those were views they were raised to believe as true. And with how their society seemed to look down upon emotional attachments, it was likely quite easy to reinforce the ridiculous notion. In telling them it was a weakness that only fools subscribed to, demons like Sesshoumaru and Toran were taught to put their race first – value good breeding and advantageous alliances – to help them thrive.

But no matter how hard Sesshoumaru tries to be the demon everyone wants him to be, he cannot deny it forever. It's in his blood. His father followed the call of his heart, and his brother did too.

Sesshoumaru, however, was strong enough and stubborn enough to _ignore_ his heart forever, if that was what was required of him. But with a little encouragement, Kagome was sure that she could get him to see it.

"I'm gonna love him so hard, he won't be able to deny it." That was her vow, and Toran was slightly taken aback by the bashful young woman's sudden resolve.

"Maybe you should start by opening your legs, priestess," she quipped, through humorless lips. "That's what he needs right now. I've never seen him so pent up." If she was trying to throw her off her game again, Kagome wasn't having it. If anything, she was simply annoyed with her flippant commentary on their personal business. "If you love him so much, for kami sake, take care of the poor man. He is so obviously frustrated; I've never seen him in such a state." When she fixed her with a pointed look, she could see the miko was growing irritated. "But then again, with me, he'd never get the chance."

"Yeah, you want him so bad, why don't you do it?" she spat back resentfully, but Toran smiled at her.

"I offered to. He declined."

The cat had managed to stun her with that one, and suddenly, she felt defensive.

"Then maybe he doesn't need it that bad," she reasoned, losing some of her confidence as Toran's seemed to bolster.

"Maybe he'd rather be with you," she countered, and made Kagome blush under her heavy scrutiny. "I can't see why. What makes you so different from anyone else?"

She began appraising the miko like she would find the answer written on her skin. Kagome couldn't help but fidget under the shameless perusal.

"I don't know," she admitted honestly. "Why don't you ask him that?"

"Why don't you?" With a taunting smile, she returned her gaze to wild, discomfited blue eyes. "Then again, he always has enjoyed a challenge."

"Then I can see why you didn't last."

Toran's smile grew friendlier at the quick retort, and she now seemed genuinely amused. If she didn't know any better, Kagome would swear she saw approval dancing in her eyes as well.

"Never mind. I see it now," she said with a grin. "Fiery and petulant is just his type." Kagome wanted to be irritated with her assessment, but she could feel her cheeks heating in embarrassment. She averted her eyes. "He hates getting everything he wants," she declared further. "Simpering, obedient little bitches can be bought for a song. But he likes to prove himself. He likes to earn what he has." She raised a brow at her. "Has he earned you?"

Kagome wasn't quite certain what she meant by that, but she was afraid to ask.

"If you appreciate his efforts, you should show him," she clarified. "A good male deserves his due."

Oh. Now she understood, and dismissed the notion completely. She didn't owe _that_ to anybody, no matter how wonderful they were to her...

"Believe me; once he's conquered you, you will wonder how you ever got on without it. And you'll miss it when it's gone."

Despite her annoyance with the panther's counsel, she couldn't help but voice another of her buried fears.

"That's what I'm worried about," she admitted softly. Toran, with knowing eyes, seemed at least to understand. She returned her gaze forward as her lesson continued.

"There is not a female in these lands past her first bleed who hasn't had the Western Lord star in her in her wet dreams at least once," she imparted, and Kagome couldn't help but snort. She was becoming aware of how true that probably was. "They would all kill to be in your strange little kimono right now. You're never going to get a finer specimen to crawl beneath that human body of yours, so you'd do well to strike while the iron is hot."

Kagome said nothing. She disagreed on principle, but she couldn't deny that the same thoughts had made their way through her sexually frustrated teenage brain more than once. More than twice.

"Why deny yourself the pleasure?" Toran demanded. "Why deny him? Who do you think you are, cruel miko?"

Pleased to see her apparently considering her words, Toran mercifully let her be after that. It was a quiet trip the rest of the way to the village as both females gave some thought to what had been discussed. There certainly was a lot to mull over.

As they finally arrived and began their descent back down to earth, Toran leaned in, and spoke lowly just in case Inuyasha's hearing had gotten any better since she'd seen him last.

"I hope to see you again miko, when all of this is over." Kagome was actually kind of surprised to hear her say that. She couldn't tell if this demon liked her or not. "Hopefully you have slept together by then; we can compare notes."

She at least didn't seem to mind her close relationship to Sesshoumaru. She was far more... encouraging than Kagome had expected. At least she didn't hate her for it.

"Think about what I have said." That was pretty much a given, like it or not.

Right before they touched down with the other's not far behind, she offered the miko one more piece of advice.

"I don't know about now," she began conspiratorially, leaning in even closer, "but when he was youkai, his ears were _incredibly_ sensitive..."

* * *

They touched down in the middle of what appeared to be a ghost town. But a well-manufactured ghost town, at least. The roads were clean and orderly; the greenery well-maintained. Before they landed, Kagome had spotted a serene looking lake not too far off, and the woods nearby appeared to have the beauty and charm of a national forest, as opposed to a horror movie. It looked like somewhere an upper middle-class family would take their summer vacation in her era.

What she assumed were living spaces were set up equal distances away, lining the long main dirt road through town, and though not too much bigger than their huts back home, they were quite a bit nicer. She couldn't even call these huts, and 'tiny house' didn't do them justice either.

Down the road a bit on the other side was a much larger building that – from the outside - resembled some kind of lodge or an activity center. She couldn't say what it was used for, but it seemed like a place people might congregate. Whatever it was, it looked to be where Toran was going, as she'd cast a couple glances in that direction before issuing her orders to the rest of them.

"Wait here," she demanded, while they dismounted and reassembled after their journey. "I'll go get everything squared away with the village elder. He will set you up from there."

So apparently this town wasn't completely deserted.

A few nods of acquiescence sent Toran on her way down the road, and Sesshoumaru instantly made his way over to return Kagome's backpack into her possession. He took the opportunity to do a quick inventory of the miko's person, assuring himself she was in as good condition as he'd left her in. Physically, she appeared unharmed, but the young woman definitely looked somewhat shaken, and he was skeptical of it being purely on account of the flight.

"Are you alright?" he asked, studying her face for any signs of foul play. "Did she do anything?"

He knew Toran could be a lot if you didn't know her. And even if you did. When he saw the two conversing during the flight, he immediately worried he'd made a mistake in insisting the females travel together. The panther demon liked to rile, and the miko riled easily. He just hoped the demoness hadn't done anything to make her upset, at him most of all. He frowned.

"What did she say to you?"

His gentle concern drew Kagome's eyes up to his, and she smiled weakly.

"Nothing." His frown deepened, but said nothing in response.

Now Kagome was appraising him. Toran's assessment was still ringing in her ears, and she let her eyes rake over the former demon suspiciously.

"What about you?" she asked. "Do you feel alright?" She hadn't noticed anything particularly different about him today, but his old friend seemed to detect a change that maybe the miko wasn't sensitive to. "You're not feeling... tense, or anything, are you?"

He gave her a questioning look at the odd inquiry, which became even more curious as a faint blush crept its way into her cheeks. But he _had_ been dealing with discomfort during their journey, and he felt slightly ashamed at letting it show through enough for the young woman to notice. She was getting more astute, at least where he was concerned. It was troubling, and nice in a strange sort of way.

"I may have overextended myself digging that well," he admitted, and adjusted his right shoulder awkwardly. "Without the adrenaline of an impending battle, my human body has finally deemed fit to tell me of its weakness. As if I needed a reminder."

He hadn't wanted to trouble her, or make her feel responsible for his pain. He was getting the hang of his body and its limitations, but was still learning through trial and error just how far he could push himself in certain regards before paying for it in the days to come.

Kagome watched him shift with a slight grimace.

"Is it your shoulder again?" she asked sympathetically. She remembered how damaged his sore muscle had felt beneath her fingers when she'd discovered it by the river. She'd scolded him for not saying anything, and demanded he alert her of such things in the future. She was pleased he was telling her now, but worried he still may have been living with it for a few days in secret. Maybe that was what Toran had noticed? At any rate, she needed to keep a better eye on him if she was going to sniff out all of his well concealed discomforts.

"I believe I aggravated my previous injury. I apologize for nulling your efforts."

She knew it was hard for him to admit to being in pain, and she smiled gratefully that he shared it with her instead of trying to hide it this time. Such honesty, she decided, should be rewarded.

"Well how about this," she began, and piqued his interest with her tone. "Later, after we get all checked in here, I can work on you again. How does that sound?"

The faint blush returned to her cheeks, lending her proposal a suggestive air. He began to heat as well as he recalled the last time she'd tended to his broken body in such a way. Her hands on him were amazing that night, and like nothing he'd ever experienced. The pleasurable pain of her repairing him was enough on its own to tempt him, but what it led to after was almost enough to make him hurt himself on purpose, just for the attention he'd receive.

A small, knowing smile was her answer, and she blushed a little harder.

Toran returned with an older man who looked to be about in his 50's. This was a surprise to them, since she had told them they would be staying in a demon village. But his friendly smile made them feel welcome, and his non-threatening air put them all at ease.

"Alright, everything's been taken care of," Toran told them, and gestured to the man at her side. "Daichi here will take you all to get settled in. If you need anything, talk to him and I trust he will be able to help you." Nods of understanding were issued, and simple greetings bid. Daichi remained silent, and seemed comfortable letting the panther youkai speak on his behalf. "You are welcome to stay as long as you wish, but knowing Sesshoumaru, he will want to get out of the North as swiftly as possible."

"Correct," he confirmed. "We shall inspect your map tonight and discuss our route. In the morning, we depart for the stronghold."

Everyone seemed to be on board with that decision, and when no further concerns were addressed, Toran was prepared to depart.

"Well, it's been a pleasure," she announced, looking around to each of them. "but I suddenly have several pressing matters to see to. I wish we could have met under more pleasant circumstances, but perhaps next time we will have the opportunity to get to know each other better."

The until now quiet monk took the opportunity to step forward, and irked the panther demon by reaching out audaciously and taking her hand in his.

"I look forward to getting to know as much of you as possible." She didn't resist when he lifted her hand to his lips, and held her somewhat baffled gaze as he did so. "It will be an even greater pleasure, I am sure."

As soon as lips met skin, she ripped her hand away, almost amused as she was incredulous.

"Don't bite off more than you can chew, human," she commanded, but the chronically rebuffed monk was not offended by her refusal. "Even if you had the first idea what to do with me, you would scarcely be able to handle it."

But he was hardly deterred, and his lips curled upward in a mischievous smile.

"I eagerly await the chance to find out. Surely you wouldn't pass up the chance to bear such a charming, beautiful child."

He'd never had the pleasure of laying with a demon, but something about this one had him boldly wishing to expand his horizons. Not quite sure what to make of the strange man and his ridiculous advances, Toran eyed him disapprovingly. She could kill him in an instant. Surely, this man had something wrong with him.

"Sesshoumaru, I need your ear before I go." She gestured for him to lead them off away from the group. Before falling into step behind him, she made eye contact with her travel buddy, and gave her own ear a light tug. Kagome flushed as she remembered the last piece of advice the panther had given her, and averted her eyes.

"I will call on you soon, monk."

Miroku's eyes lit up, and he called after the retreating youkai hopefully.

"Really?"

She was smirking when she turned over her shoulder to yell back. "No."

Inuyasha laughed cruelly at his friend's dejected appearance, and Sango tried to stifle her own amusement as she led him to follow Daichi back to the large building he emerged from.

The hanyou began to join them, but the sight of Kagome staring off after the other two caused him to approach her instead.

Sesshoumaru stood with Toran a few yards away as they engaged in what appeared to be a spirited conversation. His arms were crossed in front of him in a somewhat defensive pose, while she was slightly more animated, not that it took much.

Kagome watched the show a moment, oblivious to her friends' departure, or the hanyou creeping up behind her.

"You wanna know what they are saying?" he asked with a smirk as he leaned in closer.

Just then, Toran put her hands on her hips in what looked like amusement, or perhaps mockery, while Sesshoumaru responded while issuing his usual glare.

She turned back to smile at Inuyasha as she adjusted her pack on her shoulders more comfortably.

"No. I trust him." He smiled back as she brushed passed. "Come on, let's go get settled."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say how much I appreciate every one of you! I know these chapters are getting long, and I really appreciate all the hours of your time you have given to this story. I really hope I am making it worth it for you, because you are definitely making it worth it for me. You guys have written some of the most incredible stuff in my comments, so if you are one of the awesome people who has taken the time to review, I wanna give a special shout out, and let you know how much your reactions mean to me 3
> 
> P.S. This chapter had to get cut in half, lol. I think you're gonna like the next chapter XD


	28. A Girl's, and Man's Best Friends

This mission was threatening to make a lush out of him.

Whether it was ubiquity, stress, or just his new low human tolerance, Sesshoumaru had been finding himself on the wrong end of a sake bottle more in the last month than his entire youkai existence.

But it wasn't like he had anything better to do.

After meeting with the village elder, the group was regretfully informed that the coyote clan who had agreed to... _coyote_ them into the Northern Outskirts had run afoul of a puma pride on their way down to collect them, and would be detained at least a day or two.

The coyotes' misfortune only reinforced the notion that the pack of vulnerable humans would not have much success venturing out on their own, so it didn't take much cajoling to convince the Western Lord to pump the breaks on their relentless maneuvering, and take the night off.

Inuyasha and Sango had been given a hut to share, while everyone else was generously issued their own. Despite their private arrangement, neither Sesshoumaru nor Kagome lobbied publicly for their own shared domicile, but that didn't stop the miko from tip toeing over to his borrowed space after everyone had agreed to turn in for the evening.

That's where the sake came in.

He didn't ask where she got it. But even though the Lord of the West didn't take to altering his senses under normal circumstances, it had long been established that his current situation far from qualified as such. And even if it had, he liked to think he wouldn't be fool enough to decline the invitation when a female he fancied expressed the desire to do so with him alone. Especially when she snuck into his room in the middle of the night. And most especially when she came in looking like that.

He'd anticipated the soft knock on his door as he got the irori ready for her arrival. But before he could decide if he should prepare some water for tea, her impressive entrance banished all coherent thought from his mind, leaving desire and instinct to fend for themselves.

The sake was far from the most interesting thing she'd brought to their little private party. Even the thin, silk yukata she came in with – while very interesting – was not what drew his eye.

The necklace he'd given her - the priceless, indestructible cluster of breathtaking diamonds he'd painstakingly acquired and used to spring her from captivity - sat beautifully on her chest. Perfectly, as if made specifically with her in mind, the tapered rows guided his eyes down the expanse of her exposed, creamy skin, where the clothing parted generously and let him privy to where the swell of her breasts began before wretched silk disturbed his view and left him only to wonder how that story ended.

But the fine material wasn't completely cruel. The delicate cloth accentuated her deliciously, and was kind enough to let him see how brutally the cold winter night affected the poor girl on her short trip down the dirt road. Though, he liked to think she was just happy to see him.

She was at least comfortable enough to forego the padded breast binding that had kept her from his eager hand the night before.

And that was only the half of it.

He recalled the request he'd made of her in the hollow tree that morning while his brother was out finding them breakfast. Still high off of their daring escape – and yes, _opium_ – he held her covetously in his arms and revealed his spontaneous desire to see her just like this.

She wore her hair up in an elegant bun that had obviously taken some care to perfect. It left the expanse of her throat completely bare for his perusal, and allowed his greedy eyes unhindered access to the feminine slope of her neck. The deep purple mark he'd given her just last night was also on full display, reminding him of their deeds, filling him with pride and stirring dormant bestial instincts to the surface.

Last but not least, the burgundy lipstick – applied appropriately this time – was also a reminder of the intimacies they'd shared. And though it looked much more fetching on her, he couldn't help hoping she would be willing to put a little on him again. Or a lot.

She blushed at his awestruck reaction, but was confident enough to let herself in. That was good, because he didn't have the wits about him to be a dutiful host at the moment. Admiring her beauty with reverence, he slowly stood from the raised platform that housed the hearth, and let his jaw hang open uselessly while she made her way over to him.

She took it as the compliment it was, and didn't push for conversation as she strode to join him. She let him soak her in, and when she took a seat on the wide ledge beside the sunken fire pit, he breathlessly followed.

This was what he'd wanted. This was all for him, and she was going to let him get his fill.

It wasn't awkward. She'd grown accustomed to their comfortable silences. With most people, she felt the need to fill the void with useless chatter, but not Sesshoumaru. Just being there was enough, and she felt perfectly at ease when she poured them both their first serving of sake, and drank in companionable quiet.

Appreciative violet eyes considered her over the rim of his cup each time he took a sip, conveying to her more than any conversation ever could. After their second helping, he'd finally broken from his trance, and casual, comfortable banter gradually filled the space between them. The alcohol helped them relax, and after indulging in some friendly back and forth, Kagome was ready to make good on her promise from earlier.

They hurriedly knocked back their third when she instructed him to turn away from her so she could get to work on his shoulder. Muscle memory led her to the same spot as last time, and she quickly confirmed that the troublesome rhomboid was indeed the culprit yet again. So once more, experienced hands took on the task of banishing the terrible disruption from his otherwise flawless body.

The way she rubbed him with practiced ease spoke of her fluency with his form, and he realized he loved how this woman knew him so well. It felt almost as good as the massage to know there was someone familiar enough with his person to anticipate his needs without any words spoken.

She knew what he needed, and he trusted her to give it to him without fear of foul play. She wouldn't use anything she learned about him to extort or manipulate, to cause him harm or enrich herself. She just wanted to help him, wanted to make him feel good. And she was. By the gods, she was.

His thankful groans were becoming more indecent as she inflicted him with that pleasurable pressure, but he felt his heart race with anticipation when she got up on her knees and wrapped an arm around his shoulders to steady him from behind. It was almost too much when she dug her elbow deep into his shoulder blade, but he bit his lip to keep from sounding too pathetic. He'd like to think he succeeded.

He was more than a bit disappointed when she withdrew unexpectedly, and released him from her glorious torment with a frustrated huff. It hadn't been nearly as long a rub down as the last, and the pain that remained in his back told him he'd yet to be fully cured. But he didn't want her to continue if she was growing sore herself.

Though, he supposed that then he could return the favor... Maybe that was something he should consider offering her.

But in truth, his sore shoulder wasn't what had been on his mind all evening, nor was it the reason he'd been looking forward to this massage with embarrassing giddiness. The last time she'd rubbed him like this, it progressed naturally into a heated make-out session that nearly turned into more. Of course, it hadn't ended as well as it could have, but he stood by his reasons for shutting things down.

After last night, his hopes had rekindled that maybe Kagome was finally ready for him; she was certainly indicating that she was. Unless he completely misread the situation – which, to be fair, was possible. He'd made strides, but Sesshoumaru still couldn't claim to be an expert in human behavior.

He'd vowed to handle her more cautiously this time, as to not have a repeat of the river incident. But now, it didn't even look like she'd be giving him the opportunity. It was discouraging, but he refused to pout. It was kind of her to try and heal his wounds, and he was grateful for the attempt. She didn't owe him anything, and it still felt nice to have someone care so much about his well-being.

And particularly odd, seeing as he had nothing valuable to reward her with at the moment. Well, nothing tangible, anyway.

He turned back to thank her, but she spoke before he got the chance.

"I can't get enough pressure like this," she informed him, catching him off guard. "It would be better if you got on your stomach."

The flames flickered beside him, dancing seductively in his eyes and lending them a warmth that defied any notion of the cold-blooded killer within. Bathed in the soft glow of the irori, the dim lighting exposed just enough of him, concealed just enough. Kagome couldn't see the Ice Prince sitting beside her, just a prince. There was no Perfect Killer here, just perfection.

Sesshoumaru simply continued to stare, so she rose to encourage him to do as she'd ordered. She indicated that he lay on his stomach at the edge of the platform, and he shifted a bit in compliance before pausing.

He looked into her eyes with harrowing intensity, and she relayed her muted question curiously while awaiting his.

"Would it help if I removed this?" he asked softly, and tugged at his cheap travel haori for emphasis. Keeping calm and even, something heated passed between them as she physically felt her excitement buzzing beneath the surface.

"Couldn't hurt," she responded nonchalantly, but the prospect of getting a glimpse of his bare skin was more than enough to increase her own pulse rate. She hadn't seen him so exposed since the river. Not outside her memory.

His naked body had been invading her thoughts a lot lately, to the extent of her actually considering manufacturing some sort of ruse or another to get him out of at least his shirt. But unfortunately, there was no firewood to chop, as far as she could see.

She watched on shamelessly as he started to undress, making him brim with male pride. He could practically feel what she was doing to him with her eyes, but played it cool by betraying little more than standard smugness in his expression.

After peeling off the clothing and tossing it aside, Sesshoumaru made himself comfortable beside the fire. The irori had warmed the wooden planks beneath his skin, and he made a cradle for his head with his arms, turning to face his masseur.

She'd considered straddling him, but opted instead to squeeze in next to him on the ledge, folding one bare leg beneath her and planting her other foot on the floor below. The yukata she wore only covered to mid-thigh, and rode a bit higher when she took her seat. It was no more or less revealing than her usual green skirt, but for some reason she was feeling more exposed tonight.

The new leverage indeed allowed her to dig her thumbs into him a little harder, and she kept her attention on his handsome face as he closed his eyes and whined appreciatively at the contact. The sound of his pleasure intensified her own.

"You know, I never got to hear the whole story of how you got this necklace." He cracked his eye open just enough to quirk an eyebrow at her half-heartedly.

He didn't know who she was trying to fool with her faux-casual cadence. The miko was many, many things, but _sneaky_ was not among them. "Miroku says it's a good one. Care to tell me?"

"I would not," he replied instantly, and shut his eyes again. That unfortunately meant her convincing grin would go unobserved.

"Come on," she goaded sweetly. "I know it was all to rescue us. I won't be mad."

Her attempt to lure him into a false sense of security was unsuccessful, however. Because though her jealousy was flattering in a way, he'd rather not deal with the ramifications. Especially not when she was being so generous with her hands at the moment.

Kagome seemed aware of this, and let out a defeated huff. She knew a dead end when she saw it.

"Was she a good kisser at least?" she asked, hoping to get even a little something out of him. But the Western Lord wasn't born yesterday. Not even close.

"No, she was awful," he insisted with confidence and conviction. "And unattractive. Very unattractive."

He threw that in for good measure, but Kagome wasn't born yesterday either. And though incredibly closer than he to that day, she recognized his pandering.

It didn't upset her though. He actually had her laughing at his shameless answer, though the wine might have had something to do with it.

He smiled at the sound. When she was happy, he found that he was too. Being the one to get her there was an added bonus. And though he wished to open his eyes again to take in the sight of her merriment, he kept them closed so he could focus on her voice instead. It always managed to soothe his tension, and he felt himself melting into the platform under its sweet caress. Not to mention hers.

"Oh, she wasn't that bad. You forgot I met everyone at the front when they paraded us around before locking us up."

He had forgotten, actually. He had a lot of things running through his mind as they were being captured, and roll call at the castle gate did not top the list. But he stood by his assessment regardless.

"Your standards are entirely too low," he informed her haughtily.

She leaned in closer, a mischievous curl at her taunting lips.

"Says a man I have kissed more than once."

"Hn." She was going to take that as Sesshoumaru for 'touché,' and laughed at him again. Her giggling only increased as he continued to complain.

"Thank you for reminding me," he bemoaned, "of my attempts to buy your freedom with my body. I feel unclean."

But delivered through his smirk, his annoyance didn't come across as genuine.

Feeling the knot in his shoulder dissipating under her touch, she moved her hands up top to either side of his neck, and leaned in again. In doing so; the part in her yukata fell open just a little.

"She got her money's worth; I'll give her that."

It was a beautiful necklace, but given the choice, Kagome knew what she'd rather walk away with. He opened his eyes to see her grinning very near his face, and he returned it just as dazzlingly. The evil glint was how she knew he was truly enjoying himself.

"She is faring better than her husband, I am sure."

A thrill shot through her then, and the miko had to work to repress a shiver; her efforts resulted in squeezing the tight muscles beneath her fingers a little harder.

Why did talk of his conquests turn her on? Not even sexual conquests. He'd killed people.

Killed humans. A lot of them, and he'd done it like it was nothing.

And not all of his victims had it coming to them, though she liked to believe he didn't kill simply for the pleasure of the act.

But Juzo sure had it coming. She remembered looking right in his face as she watched the life leaving his body under the brute force of Sesshoumaru's mortal strength. She saw the fear in his eyes as he struggled to breathe, and the calm, merciless look in Sesshoumaru's as he refused to let him.

She'd been horrified at the time; it was traumatic. But it had to be done. It was him or them, and it was not going to be them. He wouldn't allow it.

The man beneath her gentle hands was a remorseless killer, with a terrifying resume even for a demon. But he would do whatever was necessary to get them – to get _her_ – to safety. And the reminder of that, of what he was capable of and why he had done it, caused liquid heat to pool deep in her abdomen and make her slick between the legs.

She no longer gave out free passes just for being human. Just the same as she didn't kill demons indiscriminately. Now, she worked on a case by case basis.

She'd encountered mortal men who had done vile, disgusting, detestable things. Those men needed to die, and she would not mourn them.

She had also met youkai who were sweeter and gentler than any man could ever claim to be. Somewhere in between, lay the rest of them, and it was left to the Kagomes and Sesshoumarus of the world to sort them out. It wasn't always easy to determine, and almost always tinged with some shade of grey or another. But at the very least, it was done without prejudice. It was fair.

Being a priestess who occasionally killed humans to save demons made her a pariah among her kind, but so long as her moral compass was calibrated, she could operate without compunction. She could see Sesshoumaru's compass recalibrating as their journey continued on. He was learning what she had since coming to the past; all he needed now was the courage to follow his heart, and she had no doubt that he would. She would help him.

As she pondered the ambiguity of good vs evil, she'd lowered her fences just enough to be relieved of her position.

He might not be demon, but he apparently still had the strength and speed to flip onto his back, and pull her seamlessly by the hips so that in one swift motion she was straddling his own.

With an 'eep,' she sat astride the Western Lord, his delicious body tucked between her bent knees in a way that was not entirely appropriate, but in no way unpleasant.

His grin betrayed his self-satisfaction, and his hands still holding her hips were ready to prevent any hasty retreats she may be considering.

"Hey! What are you-"

"My front is stiffer all of a sudden," he happily informed her; his gravelly tone itself was a threat to her purity. "It requires the utmost attention."

Indignant at first, her placement on his lap left little question to what he was referring, and reflexively resistant, she placed her hands out in front of her to push against his chest.

But his handsome face looking up at her in the firelight was a sight to behold, and the view from up there of his perfectly chiseled torso was not one she wished to relinquish just yet. She felt the firm muscle beneath warm, smooth skin, and retreating was the very last thing on her mind.

When his hands slid down her ass just a little, it caused a desperate ache between her legs. And with the way she was positioned, she was sure he could feel the hot, moist situation he'd created as much as she could feel the scorching swelling that parted her outer lips, and pressed against her tender pearl so gloriously it took all she had not to grind it into his washboard stomach.

So instead of dismounting, she grew a smirk of her own. Tapping into her newfound well of courage, she used her splayed hands upon his pectorals to rub small, innocent circles lightly beneath his collar bone. But that was not was he had in mind.

"Lower," he commanded through his grin. She never broke eye contact as she moved her hands down only an inch, and continued her massage with a coy smile. He deviated from his rule, and repeated himself. Though he did drop an octave.

"Lower."

Once again, she moved only about an inch south, still well above the tightened peaks of his nipples.

She could feel his erection pulse between her legs with every beat of his heart, and her weeping core clenched in tune with the animal need to be filled by him.

"Much lower."

"I know, Sesshoumaru!" She finally broke, slumping just a bit. "I can feel it, okay." She laughed as he smiled wider at her acknowledgement. "I'm practically sitting on it."

He instantly groaned at the images that conjured, and used his grip to grind her into his lap. At the same time, he thrust up to meet her, and incredulous amusement nearly rendered her speechless.

She'd felt his impressive desire for her before, but never so intimately. Only a few thin layers of cloth separated his throbbing sex from hers, and the pointed pressure on her sensitive flesh made her yearn for friction.

"What's gotten into you?" she demanded instead. Despite the shocks of pleasure he'd sent through her, she was not prepared for such a blatant display. "You've never been this forward." But she was still smiling as she arched a skeptical brow. "Is it the wine?"

"Perhaps," he conceded, also still grinning as he gazed up in adoration. "I cannot handle as much as I used to, you understand."

His sparkling eyes drew her in, but his flushed cheeks held her back. As silly as it sounded, she did not want to take advantage of his inebriation. But she still wasn't moving.

"Well, you better figure it out. Until then, maybe you've had enough."

"I am not drunk." His hands on her hips began kneading her lightly, and he was pleased to see she enjoyed his ministrations. "I simply do not fear consequences."

"Oh, like you did before?" she asked playfully.

"I did." But she remained skeptical despite his earnest tones. She raised a brow again.

"Like what?"

Kagome instantly regretted her question when he features took on a somber air.

Of course he feared consequences. That was the whole point of this mission. The consequences of her wish...

He noticed her mood fall with his, but didn't want to talk about that now.

"Aside from the obvious?" he asked, and she nodded, also grateful to avoid the depressing topic.

But he realized that it only led them to another. Because he knew what she was really asking him, and it was high time they discussed it.

She felt him sigh heavily between her thighs, and he removed his hold on her hips to cover the hands still resting on his chest.

She used to loathe his teasing. At least, she thought she did. But it had become a security blanket of sorts as of late. If the most serious guy on the planet could find it in him to tease her, things couldn't be as dire as they seemed. But when he seemed worried – scared even... it worried her too.

"You were so upset with me at the river."

She wasn't expecting that, and became slightly distressed at the reminder; it wasn't her finest moment. Softening eyes soothed her, however, and he ran his palms up to her elbows, and back down in a comforting caress. "And I recalled how upset you were at Yakimoto's mansion. I feared if I pursued you before you were ready, you would become upset again."

That was why, despite their burgeoning desire for each other, he had refused to take things any further with her.

"That's not-"

"When we kissed," he continued gently, "after you healed my shoulder the last time... I thought perhaps that you were ready." He could see the protest forming, so he clarified, "Emotionally ready, for something that could not endure."

It was an unpleasant topic, but one that had to be addressed. As badly as he wanted her, even if she wanted him, he refused to take her if she still entertained the notion that they could remain together beyond his transformation. He would not lead her on, but he needed her to know that the reason he'd denied her was not because he lacked desire; it was quite the opposite. His desire for her threatened to tear their whole world apart. If he didn't want her so badly, he wouldn't need to be so carful.

"But here and now failed to be enough," he reminded her regretfully. "You still desire a future that I cannot give you."

That was the only way he was willing to follow through with their mutual attraction in any capacity. They could proceed, but only if she knew it wouldn't last, and only when she was okay with that. Until then, he refused to do what every fiber in his being was screaming at him to do.

He knew that fact displeased her. Hell, it displeased him too. But he had to remain firm in this. It was for her own good, even if she couldn't see it. He would not lose another human he cared for just to sate his own desires, even if the desires were mutual.

With a frown, she removed her hands from him. Withdrawing from his gentle touch had his fingers trailing down her arms as she reclaimed them to cross in front of her chest. And despite the wonderful feeling of her settling back on his straining cock even more pleasingly, his heart ached when she turned her face away from him.

"Sorry, but I don't want to be used and thrown away."

His eyes widened at her assessment, and he immediately shifted up onto his elbows. He sought her gaze desperately, but she refused to regard him.

"Is that what you think?" he asked, and the pain in his voice left her feeling guilty at the accusation. "That was not..."

He cursed himself. He had no idea that was what she'd been assuming. He thought he'd made himself clear on the matter, but her reactions to his reluctance suddenly made a lot more sense.

"I am sorry if I gave you that impression." His frustration with himself was evident, and the softness in his tone forced her to look at him again. She could see the regret he harbored, not just at himself, but with the whole situation.

Then, a tenderness she didn't know he was capable of was begging her to understand. "Are we not both betting on the chance for me to be demon again?"

When she recognized the desperate plea, she softened too.

"Of course."

Even though she wished he would stay like this with her forever, she knew it wasn't what he wanted. And if he wasn't happy as a human, she wouldn't wish anything else for him; especially because it was all her fault. She vowed to do all she could to get him back the way he was.

He reached forward to take her hand in his.

"So any time we are together like this-"

"Is borrowed time. Right, gotcha." Her resigned acknowledgment of their circumstances provided him with a joyless relief, but her defiant nature spurred her forward, albeit cautiously. "...unless you never change back."

Whether he wanted to acknowledge it or not, it was a possibility. One she was tired of ignoring.

His responding glare was expected, as was his stock reply.

"I do not plan for fai-"

"I know." She didn't mean to be dismissive, but she didn't need to hear it. Though apparently, he did need to repeat a lot of things to her. This was all stuff he'd been trying to get through to her from the beginning. No matter how their circumstances changed, his stance never did. His convictions remained the same; it was she who would have to change this time.

Kagome smiled weakly, though she wasn't happy at all. She just wanted to relay that she wasn't mad at him. He looked so worried that she would be. She squeezed his hand tighter, and he ran his thumb affectionately across her knuckles. "You were just being honest with me," she realized. "Why can't I accept that? I want to. I know that I should..."

"You want things a certain way." Now it was his turn to smile joylessly. He continued to rub her hand in his, knowing even his most pleasant tone would not offer her sufficient comfort. "A way they can never be."

That bitter reality never got easier to accept, and when she averted her eyes sadly in acknowledgement of it, Sesshoumaru tugged at her hand to draw them back to his. The sincerity she found there was almost paralyzing,

"I could not honestly say I do not wish for those same things."

"Then aren't you failing? If you don't get what you want?" Kagome tried, desperate to poke holes in his logic. Perhaps her recent habit of debating him had her thinking that if she could outsmart him, maybe he would concede.

His smile, while still sad, was completely genuine. She always made him defend his position, and he loved that about her. But she wouldn't talk him around this one, even though he wished she could.

"You need to prioritize which of your wants matter most," he explained reasonably. "As well as whom your choices effect."

She knew what that meant. He had people, and lands, and a country to run. She couldn't just waltz in and fuck up all he had built. Even if it was stupid, it was like that for a reason. Sesshoumaru didn't do things without carefully considering the consequences... usually. And if he said something was too dangerous, you better believe that it was.

Thanks to Toran's little pep talk, she could now finally understand why she could never go back with him. It wasn't because he hated humans, or was embarrassed of her. He was looking out for them both, and countless others. He was doing the adult thing, even though it wasn't easy. At least, it wasn't for her. And before she would concede, she just had to know.

Even if it could never work between them, she needed to know that he felt the same way she did; that she wasn't just imagining it. That, if things were different, he would choose to be hers.

That this was as hard for him as it was for her.

Large, painful eyes shimmering with hope sought his out.

"If-"

"Yes." His answer was instant, and sure. Ragged, as if the single word pained him to speak it. "In a heartbeat." And she understood why, because it hurt just as badly to hear it spoken. "But I do not live in a land of ifs, Kagome."

Her eyes began to fill the moment he said it. The obvious feeling behind his answer, the look on his face left no doubt it was true.

She thought it would make her feel better to know, but it made her feel a thousand time worse.

Unrequited affections were a pain she was definitely accustomed to enduring. But even worse, she learned just that moment, was having them returned, but knowing there was nothing to be done about it. It would have been easier if he just didn't care about her. How would it be, knowing he was out there wanting her too, but could never come and get her? It made her feel so... helpless.

"And to protect your heart," he continued, "I suggest you do not either."

Is that what he was doing? Protecting his heart? Is that what he was protecting behind his wall of ice and indifference and rudeness? It didn't sound like a much better option.

"Where should I live then?" she asked bitterly. His thumb continued to roll across each knuckle, trying to ground her with his gentle affection.

"The only place you can never fail. Now."

She scoffed.

"Are you saying you can never fail in a moment?" It was such a _him_ thing to say. His self-confidence had apparently returned, and she wished she had just a little portion of it.

"Of course not," he said. "Until you actually die, you simply cannot fail _living_ a moment. You never stop." Sesshoumaru was the last person she expected to give her the 'live for now' advice. Maybe that was a sign that she should finally listen.

She knew what he was doing. He was protecting her, and she had to protect him too. Just like Toran said...

But she still wanted to be with him. Looking down at him now, she wanted him more than ever.

"The only thing you can hope to control is what happens right now. But fortunately, it is always right now." He was almost optimistic in his declaration, and she was surprised to find it reassuring. "This is a moment, right now. And this. And-"

She'd had enough.

Between Toran's story about Sesshoumaru's father, the burning need between her legs, and the advice of almost everyone she'd spoken to, Kagome couldn't fight it anymore.

And he was right. She hated to admit it, and she wished it wasn't true, but being with the daiyoukai would cause everyone a lot of problems, _him_ not least of all. If anything happened to him like his father, and it was her fault... no, she couldn't put him in danger like that.

She didn't know what the future would bring for them, but he was right again; the only moment in time she had any control over was right now.

Someday, the future would be right now, and she would deal with it then. But for now, in this moment, she just wanted him.

Kagome lunged forward, and put a stop to his annoying advice. Her lips met his, stunning him momentarily, but Sesshoumaru was quick on the uptake. He returned her affection, lifting a hand to cradle her jaw delicately as he allowed the kiss to deepen. Mouths dragged sweetly against each other as tongues briefly touched. She pulled away too soon, and he slowly opened his eyes, somewhat dazed from the passionate display. But he was smiling.

He took a moment, and enjoyed the sight of Kagome catching her breath again, and his heart soared.

"Success," he told her softly through pleased, yet unsatisfied lips. His hand was still cupping her cheek when he crunched forward to kiss her again, but her hands on his chest stopped him before he could reach her.

He feared more resistance from the frustratingly hot and cold young woman, but he could only comply as she pressed him back until his shoulders hit the wooden platform beneath them. He was confused but trusting, as silent questions emitting like radio waves soon dissipated, and gave way to curious excitement that took great effort to contain.

As her intentions became apparent, his heart pounded thunderously against his chest, making him feel like pup his first time out with a female. His youthful anticipation urged a thousand questions forth, but thankfully he had just enough sense to keep his dumb mouth shut.

It wouldn't do well to be over eager, and startle the emboldened miko before she began what she intended to begin, but anxious fingers twitched at his sides. She seemed caught up in a spell, but fairly confident she was not, Sesshoumaru opted not to disturb the young priestess from her gratifying reverie.

When she shifted against his stiff cock in timid exploration, a sharp breath escaped him, and his eyes slammed shut instantly.

Taking control of the encounter, Kagome put all her weight on the palms still splayed on his chest. It took the pressure off her hips, and freed them to rotate experimentally in his lap. He bit back a groan as she slowly began rocking against him, too afraid to scare her with the enjoyment she was giving him. Terrified that if she knew, she might stop.

Instead, she rolled her hips forward again, dragging her moist heat up the length of his arousal, and back down as she drew a shaky breath of her own. A low groan left his throat that he couldn't contain, so his hands flew out and grabbed her hips to support her any way he could.

He held her firm, pulled her against him tightly to increase the friction, and coated his cock with the wetness he provoked. And with each pass of her slick heat, his own hips rutted slightly, trying to dance in tune with the motions she'd set.

This seemed to encourage her, as her movements became bolder and trepidation fell away with each suggestive slide against him.

The thin cotton panties she wore beneath her yukata were soaked through, and he could feel the damp stain she was grinding into his hakama. She was pressing against him so intimately that he could feel absolutely everything. The swell of her lips, the tightness of her opening... even the crest of her labia as it quivered into his shaft. When he closed his eyes, he could picture her perfectly.

It wasn't until her hands left his chest, and she sat up to arch her back that he forced his eyes open so he could enjoy the sight of her.

Head thrown back, eyes closed in bliss; those sinful painted lips opened wide as she panted from the pleasure she was taking from him. If she wasn't careful, she was going to milk him right through their clothing.

He refrained from thrusting too harshly, grunting softly as she rubbed her sensitive core into his erection to both their delight. The way she seated herself on him so perfectly felt like they were meant to be like this. Like they were built for each other, with the other's satisfaction in mind.

Despite the burning impulse to take control and flip them over, and show her what he could offer her, Sesshoumaru simply laid back, and watched. He refused to push for anything more from her, and until she requested otherwise, he was content to allow her to take this encounter as far as she was comfortable with.

He knew she was inexperienced, so if she wanted to use him to find out what she liked, she was free to experiment. He was at her service.

But so far, she was doing just fine. He could feel her soft flesh so wonderfully that he worried how long he would be able to endure this treatment before she actually finished him. He considered warning her of such a thing, but quickly reconsidered.

He was afraid to speak, or move, or do anything to break her from the trance she seemed to be in. With her eyes closed, she looked lost in sensation, and the last thing he wanted was to bring her back to the reality that had been anything but kind to them in recent weeks.

But it wasn't long before she returned anyway. Far too soon, she stopped moving, and opened her eyes again as if only just remembering where she was and who she was with.

He hated the concern, and uncertainty she displayed just moments before finally looking down at him again. He wanted to ask, but couldn't find it in him. All he could manage was to draw a cautious brow in silent question, and let her answer in her own time. He was patient.

Patient as only a man who had lived for millennia could be. But by the kami, did she test it.

He loved that about her. He wondered if his newfound humanity had any large role to play in his sudden reactive nature toward this human woman, because it had gotten wildly out control. She set every single one of his nerve endings aflame. He wanted to know all of her secrets with his mind and his mouth and his tongue.

He, who had withstood centuries, found little to be mildly interested in, let alone excited by. He could comprehend almost everything in this world, but he just couldn't figure her out. And she seemed just as confounded by him.

That's why they fought so beautifully. They were exact opposites; rivals in every way. But in the ways that mattered, they were not.

She was naive, but she wasn't duplicitous.

She was good-natured, but she wasn't stupid.

He, of course, was none of those things. But they held just enough in common to be considered allies, yet just enough in contrast to be considered adversaries.

She could debate him on almost any topic from a rational, if not almost understandable viewpoint. He'd never worked so hard, or so long to justify his positions on the half they didn't agree on. But those tended to be the pettier of the two.

Where they saw eye to eye was where it really mattered; the heart of the issues. Perhaps how to react, or maybe when to evoke was the tricky part. The semantics.

But he loved how she always made him explain himself. It gave him a chance to prove what he knew, and why he knew it, and why it mattered. He knew she felt the same way. He loved to pick apart her logic and force her to rebuild, because it stripped her down and showed what she really knew. What she really believed. Which, unsurprisingly, was quite a lot.

He knew where she was from. He worked with a handicap at not having lived 500 years in the future. _He_ had the handicap. But somehow, it made the game more even. More fun.

He wondered if all women from the future were as stubborn and interesting as she was. Until he found out on his own, he decided to believe she was an outlier. It didn't take much imagination; she was in contrast to absolutely everything.

But she accented him perfectly. His opinions and his body and his race. That was a troubling thought that could not seem to stay buried, but he had an ounce of fight in him, so he would dig.

His wayward thoughts regarding her always looped around to the same go point; it could not simply be his humanity which was drawn to her, because he'd known her while he was demon still. He'd first spotted her on this earthly plane, but they'd become officially acquainted within the belly of his father's tomb.

Quite a personal location for a first encounter. As far as he knew, only the three of them had ever been there... by that day, at least. Discounting, of course, his dead father himself, and the bones of the living his true form had consumed. Some may have been devoured whole, but he was unwilling to count them in the official guestbook.

No. That she was there; she was important. He didn't realize how much then, just foolishly written her off as a stupid girl who had followed her heart right into the literal belly of the beast... in the netherworld, no less.

And even less than that, for a half breed who still mourned his dead lover. He could at least understand that waking up from the equivalent of a 50-year coma – which, of all people, _Kagome_ had explained to him – would delay one's development, and void the years that had actually transpired.

But then, she lifted his sword. If he couldn't do it, Inuyasha certainly didn't have the strength. But who was she? _What_ was she? That's what he actually asked her, before foolishly writing her off as useless again and dousing her with 50x the lethal dose of his poison acid for a mortal girl her size.

And yet, she stood, with not a scratch on her. It was humiliating.

But that humiliation was soon buried, pushed out of analyzing range when his left arm had been taken. That is what consumed him after that, not the indestructible human. He knew she was different then, and it was not simply her era which leant her mystique.

She would be an anomaly, no matter what time, or country, or even race she had been born into... or by some magic, traversed from afar...

Just like him. He wore his demon skin proudly. Provided his pedigree preceding demand, and shouted his hard-kept title loudly. But the truth was, it didn't matter. No matter who he was, or what he was, or what he had done, he was still Sesshoumaru. He knew that now even more than before this unfortunate incident.

No matter what he looked like or which race he claimed, he could feel that he was still himself.  
Altered, certainly, but most of it was perception. The half that mattered was still the same. The half that was semantics - the petty bullshit - that was what changed. He was himself to his core.

But he'd proclaimed that petty half so proudly, it was going to take more than a few weeks and a sexy miko to poach him from his petty, self-important nature. But that was the fun of it.

She seemed startled when she opened her eyes to see him staring back at her, mesmerized. He would admit to gawking, but the erotic display rendered him no better than a deer in torchlights.

He worried he'd made her nervous when she slowed to a stop, and fear and uncertainty dominated her aura. She lifted trembling fingers to her head to comb unruly black locks out of her flushed face.

"I..." she began uncomfortably, as if an elixir had just worn off. "... I don't think we should."

'Ah. Another debate,' he realized. This, he could work with. 'What was on the docket tonight? Should we take off our clothes and see what transpires...? It's been done, but let's give it a go.'

He glared at her, unconvinced.

"Liar."

'Ooh. Okay, going for the big guns up front. Operating with a sense of urgency, I see.'  
Perhaps that patience reserved for only her was being chipped away at more efficiently. Yes, that was a nice tidy way to put it.

"It's an opinion," she countered. Her confidence grew as she entered the comfortable territory of arguing with him, and stepped away from the scary unknown of screwing him. She was grateful to him for taking the detour. "You can't lie about an opinion."

He felt her whole body tense as she took in his menacing smile. That meant he already won, and he was going to toy with her until he grew weary.

She wasn't totally off base.

Most men couldn't detect her small untruth, but a man who spent centuries upon centuries relying on his superior senses so intently for survival had an advantage. Tonight, she had the handicap.

For even though he could no longer see the color of her aura, he'd learned how to pick up on subtler clues. And where his scent could not detect her anxiety or fear or excitement, he now knew how a _human_ might decipher such things.

He couldn't read her as well as his demon form, no. But he paid attention. More specifically, he paid attention to _Kagome_. And of what he could read from that distance, he was certain he knew her better than her own mother in that moment.

He was actually trying to restrain his smirk, and then she knew she was in trouble.

"I simply know that you are displaying the signs of one who is lying," he informed her calmly, and tickled her bare knees when he danced his fingertips upon them. "Why you would lie about your opinion is another matter."

His condemning assertion made her falter, but she was curious. She hoped she was able to appear as casual as he was managing.

"Oh, r-really?" Forcing a low-key calming breath, she tried to ignore his ministrations as she ventured, "like what?"

"Stuttering." He smiled wider, and received a highly unamused glare as he ran his hands up the tops of both her thighs. She drew in a sharp breath at his unrushed caress, and he smiled as he felt the gooseflesh he inflicted upon her sweat-slicked skin.

"Perspiration," he added, and watched her eyes following his tortuous path up her legs. He paused before his hands slipped beneath the edge of her yukata. "Dilated pupils."

He could hear her breath come quickly as he stroked her inner thighs, and nearly lost his composure when he felt the sticky substance seeping out below her panty line. He drew dangerously near her pubic area as he continued, and though he didn't touch it, even the possibility caused an involuntary quake to roll through her form.

"Trembling." He didn't smirk, because he kind of cheated on that one, but his voice was coming lower with each word spoken. "Flushed skin."

He noticed her eyes roving wantonly over his chest and stomach as he touched her, and fought off the degrading urge to flex.

"Avoiding eye contact." Her eyes snapped right back to his, but she knew it was way too late. Now he was smirking again, and he retreated, dragging his hands back down her legs, grabbing lightly in a soft tease.

"Not all components are required to indicate that one is lying," he informed her, void any mockery or mischief. He was just reciting fact now, as he so often did. "One, or any combination of the aforementioned symptoms could betray deceit."

He'd made a fine point. Laid out his argument cleanly, complete with live – and completely relevant - case material.

But now he was done. It was her turn to make her case, so he laid back and waited for her to speak, enthralled. Enraptured, by just the prospect of her giving him a run for his money. She always did her best for him when they bickered. Sometimes, about half, she even won the argument. And those times that she did, his pride and satisfaction outshined her own by a landslide.

It was so nutritional to defeat a man who was rooting for her victory even harder than she was. Because when he could bet against himself, it was always win/win. And she wanted to make him proud. This time, it felt like a win/win for her too.

She watched as he continued to touch and tickle her bare skin, a smug smile on his patient, yet expectant features. She smiled in return, and lifted her own fingers to stroke the back of his audacious hands. He'd removed her doubts, returned her confidence. She loved how he could do that.

"But those symptoms do not pertain exclusively to being deceitful," she argued, smiling coyly at the curious brow he lifted. "And not necessarily, either."

She had to fight every natural urge in her body to throw herself forward, and put her mouth literally anywhere she could reach of him while simultaneously resuming those grinding motions, but much harder than before.

Because though his eyes had softened, and focused a little in the minutes... perhaps seconds since she had engaged in such a needy act, the hardness between her thighs, undeniably unrepentant and somehow insistent as it pressed perfectly against her center, seemed to reinforce, and become harder and hotter and _larger_ than it had been just a moment prior.

He remained silent. Still. Immovable, as he waited for her to continue on baited breath. Being the subject of this demon's scrutiny had once been unbearable to her. But now, as a human – though she didn't necessarily presume that's why – his undivided attention was _everything_.

His interest, his focus, his respect... if she could somehow bottle it up, she was sure she could sustain herself several lifetimes happily in lieu of air or water. She wanted to drink him. Breath him. Taste him, touch him. But she'd settle for being with him, as near as she could, for as long as she could get it.

"It could be nervousness you witnessed," she suggested innocently. "Those are all also indicative of that."

And once again, she rolled.

It was a dirty trick, not very sportsman like. But she highly doubted she would receive any grievance.

Her hands rested on his to sandwich them against her thighs. But at her touch, like a spark of electricity, they resumed their movement up to her hips, and curled around them.

"Or fear," she continued.

His eyes were large, and predatory, and absorbent. And when she pressed her hands harder onto his, he squeezed her in a way which caused the next roll of her hips to make much firmer friction than she had dared thus far.

"Arousal," she included lowly. Though in tune with his deep groan, it was possible he could have missed it.

She doubted it though.

And as she moved upon him again in rhythmic motion, she finally became lost. Her virginal body had never attempted such bold intimacies before. Never achieved such a position, on top of any manner of beast. Let alone the perfect specimen beneath her.

Save for some experimental prodding, she had never entered herself. Clitoral stimulation was all she had known, and it had worked beautifully when she needed it to, which had become increasingly often in just the last few months.

So the way she gyrated her womanly hips, the way her legs parted so she could press her sensitive clit right up against his impressive, persistent cock - though never previously in such a position, or with any audience at all - proved more than enough to throw her over that cliff. Unashamed, unrepentant, and unattainable in any other company than his.

He'd seen her get off before; he'd made her get off. But no one had ever seen her pleasure herself. At least, no one that she had known about. And though his painfully beautiful face had helped her get where she desperately needed to be, when the time came, she couldn't bear to watch him.

Because this was for him. He'd earned it, and he could enjoy it at his leisure. Sesshoumaru would have no witness to his enjoyment of a simple, human girl using him shamelessly for her pleasures.

If his past self saw him now, only from a month ago, he might have jumped in the well himself to see about killing her... or himself, before this indignity was borne into existence.

This moment, right now.

Though he wasn't inside her, he might as well have been. It was not self-stimulation, she decided. He had stimulated her again.

When she came down from her towering high, still shaking from the aftershocks seconds after slowing to a stop atop him, she reopened her eyes to find his still on her. They probably were the whole time. But the point was, she didn't know that for certain. He still had his plausible deniability, if he actually still needed it.

He was so hard, and hot between her legs. His hands still on her hips, and short fingernails digging into her flesh in a way which in his previous form would have caused her ugly scars... maybe even would have killed her. His eyes were still on her face. Studying, waiting, calculating, she didn't know.

That was the problem.

She didn't know what he wanted from her. She could guess what his most base desires were. But then why wasn't he demanding that? With what she had just taken herself, he was at least within his rights to ask for the same treatment.

And she wanted to give it to him. She wanted to be there for him, for whatever he wanted with her. But despite his massive hard on, despite his human features, despite the proximity that would have spelled her death four weeks ago... this was _Sesshoumaru_. Not your typical man. Not even your typical demon. Anything less than the very best just wouldn't be sufficient.

This man knew what he wanted, and was not shy about asking for it. And sure, he wanted her. Physically, she knew that. But what did he want her to do about it?

Would he have her simply give in to him? Was her virgin treasure enough satisfy him? Or did he want more from her?

She knew she could make him cum, but how could she _please_ him? She needed to find out.

She needed him to know that with her, he'd met his match. She would find whatever it was that he needed, and give it to him completely. If he wanted any less than that, she would give it to him too. All he had to do was reach out and take it, and she would be his.

But he liked a challenge. He liked games. He liked sport. And she'd won close to half of their matches so far. This next one, was going to be a win/win.

She turned from him then, and looked dismissively to her side, as if deep in thought. "Or maybe it's just cold in here."

And all he could do was watch, motionless, dumbfounded, and she removed herself from his obviously unsatisfied lap, and made her way out the door.

He didn't know where she was going, or why, or what in heaven's name had just transpired between them, but she had every dulled sense of his trained on her body. Her voice, her shadow. Any sign of her, he would snap to attention. She was the only interesting thing in the world at the moment. And in the state she had left him, it was no small wonder.

He'd made a mistake. He'd never been a generous man, but he allowed this one woman to take what she wished of him, and simply leave him cold.

Well he was the king of cold. The Ice Prince, or so he'd heard. And not only a master of his own form, he had a measure of control over everyone else's as well. Particularly the females of her species.

He had aroused countless women without attempting or even wanting to. Just now, even, the sight of him had her so worked up she rode herself to completion right on his thick cock. Shame, too. He could have really made it worth her while.

Yes, he would have her. But he wanted her begging him, pleading him, even bargaining with him for his attentions. And because he was a gracious man, he would consider it. But she would soon be aware, as too many had, with whom she was dealing. She had met her match.

Unaware of her fate, and with not a backward glance, she left the warm, cozy, delicious smelling room, and headed for the cold, barren, biting dark of the night. But before she did, a soft voice reached out to her. Whisper quiet, yet meant for her ears, it reached them just as she closed the door behind her.

"Cruel miko."

As if Toran's advice hadn't been consuming her thoughts enough, his assessment brought her to another of the panther's insights.

' _Who do you think you are, cruel miko?'_

Since landing, she had been obsessing over the story of Inu no Taisho and his hime. She couldn't help but draw parallels to her own situation, and the tragic end that may be awaiting them if she didn't bother to learn from history. It was as if his father's legacy was a template, warning of things to come if he wasn't careful. But he was.

And now, Kagome would be too. Now she could fully appreciate the danger they were in, and took his rejection of that eventuality as his attempt to protect her, rather than simply a distaste for her race. But with that settled, Kagome could now recall part two of their little chat in the sky.

Toran had made two conflicting points; one being that Sesshoumaru enjoyed a challenge. This is what went through Kagome's mind as she ignored her desperate need to have him in favor of playing the game he supposedly wanted to play. But then there was the panther's second insight.

' _A good male deserves his due.'_

Only a few steps up the road, it stopped Kagome in her tracks.

How long was she willing to lead him on like this? What was she waiting for?

' _Why deny yourself the pleasure? Why deny him?'_

He'd already made his intentions clear; it wasn't like he was denying his desire for her. And it wasn't like he was going to impose himself.

If they were playing a game, she'd already won by forfeit. But it sure didn't feel like winning. She burned hot between her thighs, empty and unsatisfied despite achieving orgasm only minutes ago. She could only imagine how he must be feeling.

' _Has he earned you?'_

She wanted to be enough for him, not like all the other females who threw themselves at his feet. But enough was enough.

' _Who do you think you are, cruel miko?'_

Maybe it was her own need helping her rationalize the desire to return to his side, but she didn't care. He'd kindly brought her to peak _three_ times now - that he knew of - and she hadn't returned the favor once. That needed to change right now.

She immediately turned, and walked the few steps back to his door.

When she opened it silently and managed to sneak in undetected, she was captivated at the sight that greeted her.

He was still laying by the irori, just where she had left him. One arm bent behind his head, he appeared to be studying the flames, but she could only imagine what was going through his mind.

His other hand was inside his hakama, taking long, unhurried strokes. Still incredibly hard, the heavy cock that had only moments ago been nestled beneath her core was tenting his white silk as he took it upon himself to relieve the terrible strain.

The fire reflected off his pale skin, making him shine like a beacon in contrast to the rest of the dark room. He looked like some angel, banished down to earth for the sinful desires he created in any who would look upon him.

He was in no rush, as he appeared to stroke himself almost absent-mindedly. Kagome wondered what it was he was pondering over while he touched himself alone in the darkness.

He heard her approaching when she just a few steps away, and turned his head from the fire to acknowledge her. He wasn't startled, or embarrassed. He didn't even stop his lazy movements as Kagome took a seat on the ledge, squeezing in on his side, and watched as he pulled on his large, throbbing cock.

His face would look passionless to anyone else, but she saw a thousand things dancing in those curious violet eyes. They never left hers as she twisted her body to hover a bit, so he could look up at her as easily as watching the clouds pass on a sunny afternoon.

Even though he was still concealed beneath his silk, from her angle she could see the tip as she broke his gaze to peer down into the opening at his waist. A thick bead of ejaculate had formed there, and she watched him smear it around his head, making it glisten in the firelight.

He didn't stop when gentle fingers lifted to touch his arm, nor when she ran them down the length of it. When she breached the barrier of his clothing to rest boldly atop his hand, however, he compiled with her silent cue to hand himself over.

A soft gasp left his lips when her fingers glided over his, and made first contact with his hardness. Looking up into her determined features, he shivered the moment she ran her hand down the length of him.

His eyes stayed locked with hers as he pulled his hand out of his pants, but slammed shut the instant steady fingers wrapped around his girth. She was barely able to encircle him as she took him in her confident grasp.

A long, low noise left the back of his throat, and the way his face contorted in pleasure had the miko abusing her bottom lip. Watching Sesshoumaru come undone by her hand was addictive, and feeling his strong, smooth shaft; the undeniable proof of his desire for her only made her want to touch him even more.

After a few experimental pulls that had him struggling for composure, she began a steady rhythm. His breathing increased in pace, and she marveled at the sight of his perfect abdominals clenching as he prepared to sit up. Her free hand stopped his ascent, and she found those curious eyes looking up at her again, but he wordlessly complied as she forced him to lay down on his back once more.

Eagerly, in consolation, he slipped his hand up under the high hem of her robe and wedged it between her thighs. She cried out when he instantly found her tender bud through soaked, skimpy underwear, and began stroking her in return.

She immediately stopped him, however, taking his diligent hand in hers and pulling it back over his head. Though he was stronger, he didn't fight, letting her trap his wrist against the wood planks behind him while she yanked his cock with the other. He looked pained even as she pleasured him, desperate eyes boring into hers helplessly as he took the one-sided pleasure. He tried not to buck into her hand as she jerked him.

"Not touching you is torture," he finally told her, and the roughness of his voice let her believe him. She still had his bent arm pinned over his head. Copying his move from before, he grunted when she twisted her fist around the end of his cock, catching more precum before sliding down his shaft again.

"Then touch me."

She pulled his hand back over his head, and guided it between the loose part in her yukata. When he felt the hardened peak of her nipple beneath his fingers, he grabbed ahold of her breast and hastily propped himself up on his other elbow for leverage.

It wasn't what he had in mind, but her soft breast in his palm was more than enough to satiate him. Kneading and pinching and rolling had them both clamoring for a measure of composure, all the while Kagome was still stroking him, becoming bolder, and more confident in her attempt to bring him to completion.

She threw her head back, cried out in enjoyment at the feel of him rubbing her bare breasts without any barrier preventing their skin from meeting. She felt him grow inexplicably harder in her own hand, and escalated speed and pressure as she moaned in response to his attentions.

When she ripped his cock out of his pants and increased to a furious pace, he seemed paralyzed in pleasure, and his mouth hung open as he drew ragged, choppy breaths.

She could feel his squeezing become desperate as his breath became shorter, and he could no longer hold himself down. He attempted to sit up again, muscles flexing amazingly as he suspended halfway up. She saw the urgency in his gaze as he panted her name in warning, but she bent to touch her sweaty forehead to his, pulling his face closer.

"It's okay," she whispered, dragging her lips across his ear, "I want you to."

She ran her tongue along the rounded shell before sucking it into her mouth, and Toran's advice proved to be accurate. The strangled sound that left his throat was all the warning she needed to angle his cock away from them to avoid the eruption that ensued.

She continued to pump him, continued to at lick his ear until his breathing evened out and every last drop was spent. He allowed himself no time for recovery.

The moment his climax was through, he arrested her face in both of his hands and pulled her into a needy, passionate kiss. It went on for quite a while, as they both desperately enjoyed the prolonged celebration in the wake of his release. After, when he tucked his cock back into his pants and coaxed her to lay down with him, she laid her head upon his chest, and complied.

He held her possessively, rubbing her back and arms. Admiring her as he reclaimed his breath. Appreciating her the best he could. She seemed just as satisfied as he was, and he didn't know how that was possible.

"Why did you not let me reciprocate?" he finally demanded, kissing her forehead as she curled into his side. She looked up at him with a grin.

"I wanted to focus on you." She was stroking him back, thoroughly enjoying and taking advantage of the bare, sticky skin she couldn't seem to touch enough of, and she dug her chin into his chest. "Besides, I owed you one from earlier."

He scoffed, dismissing that notion immediately.

"You pleasured yourself," he insisted, almost resentfully. But she wasn't convinced, so she smiled up at him.

"But I used your cock," she retorted confidently, "so you pleasured me."

He refused to adhere to that logic. She may have used him as an aid, but she orchestrated her own release. He refused to take credit for simply being there.

"Priestess," he warned, "when I pleasure you, you will know it."

There was a promise in that tone. A threat that could not go unchallenged.

She looked up at him innocently, forcing herself not to laugh at his flushed skin, messy bangs, and overall rumpled appearance. Actually, she was pretty proud of herself.

"I will? How?"

He smirked down at her before accepting the open invitation. She shrieked and giggled as he flipped their positions, and finally had her on her back beneath him.

Looming over, he used one hand to undo the knot of her obi, and easily parted the silk material down the middle with an effortless swipe.

At least his human form wasn't totally useless, he realized, as he instantly got hard again at the sight of her. Her perfect breasts were bare as the silk hung off her shoulders, and only her futuristic underwear kept her from his hungry gaze.

He relished the sight of her splayed out under him, nipples hardened from cool air and raw excitement. Breath heaving dramatically in nervous anticipation. He could see the wet cotton clinging to her swollen flesh, and could not restrain himself from reaching forward to stroke her protruding nub gently with the back of his knuckle. She shivered.

He was memorizing her. Unlike in the cave, he was going to commit every part of her to his memory. He wanted her clear in his mind whenever he desired it, for he knew these moments between them would prove all too fleeting.

He wouldn't dwell on that now, wouldn't dare waste this time in lament. There would be plenty of time for that later, he was sure. He would have many regrets in the years to come, one would not be wishing he'd taken the time to appreciate the gentle miko before him while he had her. Nor would one be failing to commit their brief intimacies to memory, to hold tightly in the cold centuries to come.

As he simply sat back on his knees to stare, she seemed confused at his reluctance. But as he set to assuage her insecurities, something else occurred to him that gave him pause.

"I have never been with a human like this," he admitted, though it wasn't news. She knew what he meant though. She wasn't the only one having a first here, and it actually put her at ease.

"Neither have I." Also not news. But her innocence was so confident, or perhaps it was the other way around. Either way, she was smiling, and it made him smile too. "We'll figure it out together."

She was trying to assure him, and there was something so endearing about that. He was unable to resist her.

He crawled up her body, and put his face within inches of hers.

"Are you sure?" She seemed more than ready to him, but he needed to know for certain. Her smile was encouraging as she lifted her palm to stroke his cheek.

"All I am sure of is that I want to be with you right now." As he looked deep within her eyes, he knew she was telling him the truth. She whispered, "Let's live in the moment."

He pressed forward, kissing her again as she ran her fingers through his hair. He left her panting when he finally pulled away, but held her cheek to gaze intensely into endless blue.

"I have never looked upon any female as I look upon you." She deserved to know; he wanted her to know. She wasn't just the only human he'd ever wanted. He'd never wanted anyone so badly in his life. He certainly hadn't been expecting that, but now that they were here, there was no denying it. "No demoness has captured my attention, or stirred my lust as you have. Know that any time we have together will never be enough, Kagome."

He kissed her again, before abandoning her lips to leave a trail of them down her throat. She sighed happily as he bypassed her necklace and made his way down her body, but when he wrapped his lips around her taut nipple, a sharp cry escaped her and encouraged him further.

She grabbed his hair as his tongue played with the highly sensitive area, and she bucked upward involuntarily in a fruitless attempt to relieve some of the pressure he'd built.

In the cave, he had put his mouth right there, but it was nothing like this. Back then, he'd driven her wild with arousal, though it had not been his intention. This time, his focus on her breasts was for her pleasure. This time, he _wanted_ to get her excited, and it was almost too much.

He didn't stop until she begged him to, begged him to stop teasing her and continue his journey south. When he finally did, she squirmed at the ticklish feeling of his lips descending her abdomen, and coming to stop at the elastic waist of her panties.

He looked back up to see Kagome's eyes screwed shut, head thrown back in pleasure as she awaited him to proceed. He smirked at the alluring sight, and rubbed from her hips back up to her breasts, and down again with both hands. The moans he received was music to his ears, and he began to salivate as he prepared to remove her last scrap of clothing.

He grabbed her hips as he bent low one more time to kiss a seductive path below her navel. With her eyes closed, she could feel everything he was doing to her with his lips and his tongue and his teeth even more acutely.

As he hovered just above her womanhood, she felt his chest expand like he'd taken a deep breath. She wondered if it had something to do with the youkai in him trying to scent her arousal. She wouldn't be surprised if she was currently producing enough for even a human to detect.

Her lust was becoming unmanageable. He had her so out of control, so foggy with need of him that her reiki flared awesomely in response. It almost startled her, the sudden large swell of her purity in that moment.

She whimpered when his grip tightened, and she felt a prick of pain when his nails dug into her a bit harder than she would have wanted. She lifted her head to ask him to ease up a bit, but her needy body was finding it difficult to form any protest, or stop him at all. She'd given it all she had in the last few weeks, but when it came to him, she was finally all out of fight.

Luckily, he released her on his own before she had to intervene, but now, he wasn't using that perfect mouth of his to bestow his wonderful affections to her highly receptive skin. He simply continued to hover, and frustration became too much in just the seconds he'd stopped touching her. She'd waited too long for him as it was.

She could feel him breathing, much deeper and much heavier than he had a moment ago, and she worried he might be having second thoughts. When she suddenly realized how tense he had become, those fears tripled. She lifted her head again, and opened her eyes timidly, afraid of what she would find. Afraid more than anything she would find rejection, or regret, or even worse, disgust.

What she found was even more frightening.

When she pried her reluctant lids open and looked down her wanting body, two fearsome, glowing red eyes were staring back up at her, and she screamed.

She was sitting up in an instant, and scooted back so fast she almost fell off the platform.

She was one of the few to look into that nightmare-inducing demonic gaze and live to tell about it. It wasn't the first time, but somehow, it was much more terrifying. Her heart pounded against her chest as she wrapped her yukata shut, more out of a ridiculous attempt at self-preservation than any coherent notion of modesty. Her pupils consumed her eyes, which seemed to be trembling, despite the oppressive swell of reiki which manifested in response to the natural threat.

"I will not hurt you," he insisted urgently. "Kagome, I will not hurt you."

She looked on terrified at a completely transformed Sesshoumaru, stripes and all. Even his hair had grown back, explaining the tickling sensation on her stomach she thought she had imagined.

His hands were up defensively and he wasn't moving towards her. He seemed pained at her fear of him.

"Please believe me," he begged, and the desperation coming from that face just did not wash at all. "On my life, these claws will never cause you harm. You know that."

It was the first time she'd seen him like this since the wish, and his abrupt return was startling, especially considering where he was, and what he was about to do to her. But the terror in his own eyes – the fear of her fear – had her instantly regretting her reaction. She told herself she was only startled.

"Yeah, I know." The trembling in her voice suggested it was not only him she was trying to convince. "Sesshoumaru, I know it. I trust you. I-I'm not afraid."

By his frown she could see he didn't believe her. To be fair, she was not being entirely convincing. Shakily, she stood, and tentatively, she approached him.

He remained still, attempting to look as non-threatening as he could manage in his awesome youkai presence. He could see her taking him in, see her memory returning just as he had warned her about and feared. But he remained silent, as he let her adjust to the sudden appearance of the old him. Well, most of him.

"So, are you back now?" she asked nervously, once the shock fell away some and gravity set. "Is it over?"

Her eyes were dragging all over his form; he was so different. She hardly recognized him this way. She'd truly forgotten what he looked like as a demon. This youkai was a stranger to her, and old unease in his terrifying presence overwhelmed her senses, screaming at her to be wary. She forced those instincts aside.

Because even though the tender human she'd come to care for was inside that demon, the real Sesshoumau had never been kind to her when he looked like that. It was hard to put that face with the things his human self had told her; the things he'd done with her. This demon... would take some getting used to.

It wasn't fair, but Sesshoumaru was going to have to earn her trust all over again. Reassure her that she was still safe with him like this.

"No," he answered, and ran a clawed hand through his long, silvery white hair. "As last time, something is missing. I am not complete." She felt sympathy at his obvious uncertainty as he tried to make sense of himself. He said the last time he transformed, a part of him was still absent, but he couldn't pinpoint what. He appeared just as lost now, trying to discern it. "I believe I will return to my human form at sunrise."

His eyes widened at the implications, and she marveled at the genuine look of regret in the demon lord's face when he turned his gaze to her.

"I must go," he realized frantically, almost guiltily. "I must find Rin before I transform again. I have but hours to locate her."

He took a slow step toward her, and when she didn't retreat or recoil, his confidence bolstered enough to lift a gentle hand to her cheek. At the touch of her skin on his fingertips, the painful knot in his stomach slackened just a bit.

His always-earnest gaze took rein of the chaos, and grounded her in an instant. Though no longer violet; it was still him in those eyes. There was no mistaking him.

"I detest leaving you like this," he assured her softly, and she believed him. "I wish for nothing more than to remain here with you tonight, but Rin..." He'd never looked so raw. His features, wrought with turmoil, betrayed his inner struggle as strong youkai instincts threatened to tear him in two. "I would never forgive myself if-"

"Of course." The way she softened in understanding relaxed him immensely, as did her gentle smile. "Go. I'll be here when you get back."

Her sweet assurances eased his fears, and his chest filled with warmth when she allowed him to pull her close. Though they were barely touching – at least, not nearly as much as they had been a minute ago - the familiar heat of his body seemed to reach out to her, drawing her in.

He was being so delicate with her, it bordered on overcompensation.

"The second I find her, I will return," he told her, his confident baritone leaving no room for doubts. "As soon as I do, I will find you."

He really was in there. She'd forgotten how gorgeous those golden eyes were, so she lost herself in them while she could, and reached up to touch a maroon-striped cheek.

"I'll be waiting."

He couldn't explain the relief he felt in that moment. Her reaction to him at first was just what he'd been fearing. His demon form was a reminder of all the wrong he'd done her in the past. But by the way she was looking at him now, maybe she really could forgive him.

He bent down to kiss her, and reveled in acceptance when she met his lips instantly and eagerly. At the contact, a jolt shot through them both; a pleasing combination of their powers caressing one another. It seemed their natural born forces surfaced for more than just battle...

He had to leave before he lost the resolve. Now, all he wanted was to play with her power, and see what else it might do to him.

After a longing look into her eyes, he flew out the door with his incredible demon speed, and Kagome was suddenly alone.

A heavy gasp instantly escaped, and she nearly collapsed into the wall behind her. Her heart pounding in her ears made it too loud to think, and each trembling breath she drew seemed to come out quicker than the last. Everything was happening so fast, she barely had time to gather her bearings.

Before she could get her racing thoughts in order, a blur of white materialized before her again.

"-for fuck's sake," she barely heard him mutter, but before she could ask what he was doing, Sesshoumaru crashed to knees, and dragged her panties down to hers. She felt the cold woosh of winter air disturbed by inhuman speeds as it traveled across her exposed, dampened sex.

Giving her no time to protest, he lunged forward, pressing his hot mouth to the bundle of sensitive nerves between her legs. Her shriek of surprise at the unexpected action morphed quickly into a long, wanton moan.

His powerful youkai tongue parted her lips and played with her clit like he'd done so a million times, finding every spot she needed him to instantly and without guidance. She entrusted her weight to him, and the wall behind her, rolling her head back helplessly against it.

His clawed hands grabbed her hips to pull her to him, holding her firm and giving him purchase. He felt her legs shake as he feasted upon her mercilessly, so he affirmed his hold to assure her she was safe in his hands. He had her.

Hours, if not weeks, of teasing and tension were finally coming to a head, and Sesshoumaru could make a fine case that he needed to give her this even more than she needed to receive it.

How many times he'd fantasized about her taste... How long it had tortured him...

Broken parts of his name were cried out between incredulous wails of pleasure, and when he cracked his red-rimmed eyes to chance a look at the angel unraveling above him, he felt immense satisfaction. Eyes closed and head tilted back, her mouth hung open in disbelief, screaming even when no sound was produced.

He worked his neck furiously in time with his skillful tongue until he felt the thrill of her reiki building to new heights, attempting to intimidate him. He'd never been happier to possess his demonic youki, and when he used it to rebuff her threat, the force of their combined power was so intense that all of her knuckles hit the back wall behind her head.

She begged him for release, and literally with his eyes closed, he complied. He panted heavily through his nose as he guided her through the last choking sob, and not until he felt her body uncoil above him did he finally remove his lips from her quivering flesh. She felt as well as heard his own ragged panting as they caught their breath together, but her spotty vision didn't begin to clear until he stood, dragging her panties back up with him to secure over her hips.

She sought him with her hands, shaking from a combination of fear, excitement, and aftershocks of her impromptu climax, but his own were steady and sure. He used them to close her yukata for her, and leaned in close.

Only inches from her face, burning gold eyes held her in an intense glare that endured as he used the back of his hand to wipe her pleasure off his lips.

"Now, we are even."

That unfair demon speed had his greedy mouth on hers before she could even think to respond. And when he managed to flee the hut again before the tingle of his awesome power left her lips, she knew he was just showing off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All one scene! I love it when that happens XD
> 
> Hey, I managed a (relatively) short chapter! Less than 20 pages, but man there was a lot going on there. Once again, there was supposed to be more, but I'm pushing the next scene to the next chapter because I'm merciful and I respect your time lol.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Oh yes, and I had a question about Kag's role in Sess's original transformation. In the first half of chapter 2, there is a brief flashback scenario that should clear that up. Feel free to hit me up with your questions, and I'll do my best to respond =)


	29. Metamorphosis

Knowing full well that a good night's sleep was now completely off the table, Kagome streaked hurriedly up the long dirt road. After a brief stop in her own hut to change into respectable clothing, a blast of her purity sanitized her body of any incriminating scents and she was banging on Inuyasha and Sango's door to tell them what had happened. Well, the PG version anyway.

Sesshoumaru's transformation warranted an impromptu pack meeting, so once Miroku was informed, they gathered in the couple's hut to plan the next course of action.

"Where'd he go?" Inuyasha asked impatiently. Unlike him, the others had all taken a cushion beside the irori, and Kagome had wrangled one of their blankets for extra warmth – and comfort.

"Looking for Rin," she told him, adjusting the thin cloth over her shoulders more effectively. "If she is anywhere nearby, I am sure he will find her." The miko's face darkened. "and kill all those tigers, I assume."

She knew that vengeance was on the Daiyoukai's mind, and had likely been pent up the entire month she'd traveled with him. He'd done a pretty good job of keeping his violent temper at bay, but now that he was him again; she didn't doubt he was itching to use those razor-sharp claws against those who had wronged him so terribly.

She briefly worried for his safety, but quickly disregarded those foolish thoughts. The tigers were in danger tonight, not him, and thinking otherwise was only insulting him.

"If it's like last time; he only has until dawn to find her." The hanyou's focus kept straying out the window in obvious frustration. He was still upset with himself for not sensing his half-brother's change before the demon lord departed.

"Yeah, but last time he was preoccupied with his petty revenge," Kagome reminded him. "This time; he won't waste a second of his demon night. I'm sure he will find her."

"That would be fortunate," the monk supplied. "Then, we won't have to keep traveling, and we can finally go home."

A round of cautious nods supported the sentiment, though none in the group would elaborate further.

Getting the hell out of the deep North and going home sounded good to all of them, but the road-hardened group had learned not to get their hopes up prematurely. This journey had taken a lot longer and a lot farther than any of them were counting on, and despite their various difficulties, they'd actually been very lucky so far. But that luck was bound to run out eventually, and the longer they stayed away from home, the greater the chances were that they didn't make it back in one piece.

With each day that passed them; their anxieties multiplied.

"So his demon night is like Inuyasha's human night? Is that what is happening?" Sango's question was aimed at no one in particular, but it was the hanyou who shook his head.

"I don't think so," he answered with a frown, and his eyes drifted to the golden moon hanging up above. "It hasn't been a full cycle yet since his last one. It has to be something else causing it."

It wasn't exactly a science, but watching the moon was their first experiment. With that idea debunked, they would have to look for other reasons for his change.

At least the first one wasn't a fluke. They just had to find out what was making him do it, and then maybe they could see about keeping him demon for good.

Everyone had retreated within themselves, hoping to hit upon the answer. It was Sango who would break the silence again.

"You were with him, Kagome. What happened?"

The miko frowned regretfully at her friend. She really wished she could say, but it all happened so fast - and she had been sufficiently distracted. It was like she blinked her eyes, and the human was gone. She felt guilty about how much she missed him.

"I don't know," she admitted, wrapping the blanket around her more tightly. "One second he was human, and the next; all of his demonic traits had returned."

"There has to be a reason," Inuyasha insisted, his gears clearly turning. "What was he doing when he changed?"

Kagome was a terrible liar, and notoriously wore her heart on her sleeve. It took all of about two seconds for her cheeks to pinken enough to answer for her.

Three sets of knowing eyes widened in understanding.

"Kagome," he shrunk the young woman with his accusatory tone. "were you guys... "

"No!" she insisted, popping out of her cocoon somewhat. Though her indignance was short-lived, and she quickly retreated back into her blanket. "But I think we were about to."

Her blush deepened in the ensuing silence, until Miroku offered his sympathy.

"Unfortunate timing."

"Maybe not," Inuyasha countered, and caught the miko's curious gaze. "Sesshoumaru said he was alone the last time. Was that a lie?"

He wasn't trying to call her out; he just needed to cover his bases.

But Kagome distinctly remembered being with Sango that night, when he said he changed. She furrowed her brow. "No."

But the half demon was still suspicious, and maybe rightfully so. He was too busy to keep an eye on everything, and Kagome's bashfulness might render her... uncooperative, pertaining to personal matters. He pressed for more.

"So _nothing_ happened between you two that night?" That was certainly a different question.

When she took a second to answer, he thought he might have hit on something. Kagome averted her eyes, half in thought, half in embarrassment.

"Well, that was the first time we kissed," she admitted, recalling the passionate incident not for the first time. She shook herself of the memory quickly. "But that was way earlier. You think that had something to do with it?"

"I dunno," he answered honestly, and shrugged. "Maybe."

Another thoughtful silence passed as this new information settled within the group. No one was all that surprised when Miroku spoke next. "Hm. In both instances Sesshoumaru-sama's change was preceded by intimate contact with Kagome. I think the next course of action is obvious." Not a single one of them couldn't predict his suggestion.

"You have to have sex with him."

"Shut up, idiot," scolded his annoyed alpha. The women showed their solidarity with simultaneous eye rolling. "She don't have to do anything."

The monk seemed innocently surprised at the deep scowl he received from the red-clad hanyou. Sango, however, seemed to be considering something.

She recalled their chat in the hot spring back at the last village and surprised the men with her response. "Unless you wanted to," she saw no harm in pointing out. "Then we could see if it worked."

If she was going to fuck him anyway, she supposed they would find out eventually. It was just something to keep in mind.

If his vow before he left was anything to go by, they might find out sooner than they thought...

Seeing his friend considering the advice, Inuyasha turned to the others and gestured to the door.

"Hey guys, can you scram? I need to talk to Kagome alone."

Nodding in acquiesce; the pair rose from their padding. They offered their supportive farewells to the somewhat shaken miko, and after a quick kiss from her boyfriend, Sango followed Miroku back to his hut.

She was nervous when Inuyasha removed his sword from his obi and grabbed a seat beside her, but she wasn't exactly sure why. She just had a feeling things were going to get very personal.

"So," he began, propping Tetsusaiga against his shoulder. "Things are getting kinda serious between you two."

'Called it.' The pink returned to her cheeks in an instant and she shied from him involuntarily. "I don't know."

She assumed he knew something was going on. He wasn't always the most perceptive guy on the planet, but between his girlfriend and his best pal, she figured the odds of him being completely oblivious were slim to none.

She just hadn't talked to him about it yet. She wasn't necessarily trying to keep it from him, but hadn't made a point of bringing it up either. It was on her list of things to do, but everything was happening so fast lately, and she was afraid things might get awkward. She was right.

"You almost slept with him," he pointed out bluntly. "that sounds pretty serious."

It was hard to make eye contact, but she forced herself to act respectfully. You know, like an adult. She rebounded from her previous recoil.

"I guess when you put it that way." Wincing up at him; she tried to discern his reaction, only to find he was a lot harder to read than usual. "Are you mad?"

His mask was easily broken as her question seemed to confuse him.

"Mad?" he asked, creasing his brow. "Why would I be mad?"

Looking away a moment, she pulled the blanket closed in front of her once again.

"I don't know," she replied defensively. "Because he's your brother, and you haven't always gotten along." That was a mild way of putting 'used to literally try and murder one another at every opportunity.'

She supposed her fears were valid. Even though they seemed to be on the mend, she wasn't sure if Inuyasha would see her going to his brother as a betrayal. He did have a competitive streak – especially where Sesshoumaru was concerned - and was known to be jealous on occasion. It mostly stemmed from being protective, though.

"There's always been this intense rivalry between you two, and I mean, with Koga..."

Mention of the Wolf Prince actually had him smiling. Getting him and Sesshoumaru in the same room would be high entertainment, no matter who came out on top. He vowed to orchestrate a 'chance' encounter as soon as they got back.

"I'm not mad," he assured her gently, his eyes softening. "I think it's great."

' _Great?'_ That was not what she was expecting. Begrudging, mildly annoyed acceptance was the absolute _best_ she was hoping for. She didn't hide her confoundment.

"You do?" she asked incredulously, and made him chuckle.

"Yeah. I mean, it's obvious that you're doing him a lot of good." His assertion brought her blush back from dormancy, and he smiled a little wider. "Being human has toned him down a bit," he conceded, "but I think it's your influence that's making him halfway tolerable. He really owes you a lot." With an exasperated smirk, he added, "We all do."

She was a little embarrassed of how easily he caught on. Were they really being that obvious about it? Enough to draw scrutiny?

"But I think he's good for you, too." The hanyou's observation reclaimed her attention, and she saw him become slightly uncomfortable in the way he did when he was attempting to be tactful. He met her eyes. "He ain't afraid to tell you the stuff you need to hear, and he's smart enough to know what it is."

Sesshoumaru had a way using his keen observation and penchant for bluntness to cut right to the heart of things. Once he'd learned to be considerate of her feelings; it proved to be a very effective tool for her self-awareness, and ensuing self-improvement. "He isn't the only one who has grown in this last month. It makes me happy."

She smiled at his genuine approval. This had gone way better than she anticipated. She couldn't help but thinking she should have given the half-demon a little more credit. She thought she was protecting him by keeping quiet about it, but he was actually a really good outlet.

It was a huge relief, but she couldn't celebrate quite yet.

"So then, if you aren't mad," she asked cautiously, "what did you want to talk to me about?"

When his contented features instantly darkened; she knew she was right to be wary. With a scowl, he released a troubled breath.

"I'm worried about him."

She looked on confused as he moved his sword to lay across his lap, and began inspecting the steel in nervous distraction.

"We ain't talked about it yet cuz we haven't really needed to, but I think it's finally time to acknowledge it."

With mounting concern, Kagome gave him her undivided attention and remained silent while he tried to articulate his thoughts.

"Rin's been gone a long time, and nobody's seen her." He didn't bother to hide the regret in his statement. "And I haven't met these tigers, but judging what they did to Sesshoumaru; they are really bad news. They'd have to be crazy to do what they did to him, even if he was human. And crazy and violent is a dangerous combination."

Kagome could see what was coming, and as much as she wanted to, she couldn't find a way to avoid the horrible subject. Sesshoumaru didn't allow this line of thinking, so he'd been making it easy to ignore. It looked like Inuyasha wasn't going to let her keep pretending.

"He's got a one-track mind right now, and we are closing in on those tiger youkai. There is a very good chance he has tracked them down already." He paused morosely, and held her frantic gaze with his. "I also think there's a very good chance that Rin is dead."

She visibly faltered at the notion, distressed by even the prospect. Inuyasha expected that, so he kept pushing forward. "He won't let himself believe it, but if she is and he finds out about it; he is going to finally lose it."

Her concern for Rin melded with her concern for Sesshoumaru, and the look on her face betrayed the sickness it incited within her.

Not planning for failure meant not talking about Rin being gone, but Inuyasha was right. If something had happened to her, and he found out tonight; she couldn't honestly say what he would do. But the prospects terrified her.

"He blames himself for what happened to her," he continued, but Kagome already knew. "and I worry what its gonna do to him if that's the case."

She felt her heart speed up in mild panic as she was finally forced to deal with the worst-case scenario.

What would he do if he lost Rin for good? She didn't even want to think about it.

"I need you to be there for him," he told her confidently, but his plea was naked and raw. His genuine concern for his brother would have been endearing if it wasn't scaring her so badly.

That grim, serious countenance was only reserved for the most dire of situations. It meant things could finally become unmanageable for them, and that was far from reassuring.

"I think you alone will be able to help him through this," he continued earnestly, capturing her wary gaze in his. "If it wasn't for you, he might do something stupid. But as long as you're here, I'm confident he will keep it together for your sake. He'd never abandon you to do something crazy."

She didn't know what he was implying. She didn't even want to think about it. The idea of Sesshoumaru losing his composure was unsettling on its own. If it came to that, would she really be able to help him? What could she even do?

"I'd help him if I could," he assured her, "but you are the only one he will listen to. Just please, if something terrible happens; I need you to take care of him for me. Can you do that?"

That was the second time today someone close to Sesshoumaru had pleaded with her for his sake. Toran made a similar request on the trip over, and now his brother was asking her to protect him. They seemed to think she had the capability to mitigate his pain, but she had no idea how she would do such a thing. It was a lot of pressure.

"I know it's a lot to ask, but-"

"Of course."

But it was nothing she wouldn't have done in any case. She didn't need them to ask her to help Sesshoumaru, but it did show how much the people in his life seemed to really care for him. And how much they trusted her as well. It was as flattering as it was nerve-wracking.

She wondered if he knew how much the people in his life really did care about him.

Kagome shook her head defiantly. "But I think you're wrong about Rin. I think she's okay; she just has to be."

"I sure hope so," he said nervously, tucking his arms in his sleeves. "But we gotta plan for the worst. If he can't do it, then we gotta do it for him this time. Get it?"

Kagome nodded sadly.

She never thought she'd see the day the hanyou beside her actually felt concern over his brother's wellbeing. He actually looked physically torn up about it.

Then again; she never thought she'd be messing around with him either, so it shouldn't seem so ridiculous.

Human Sesshoumaru sure seemed to have a way with people. It was almost funny enough to laugh.

But she couldn't. Not now. In fact; her whole world was pretty much on hold until the demon lord came back, hopefully with Rin. She'd be on pins and needles, and sick with worry until he returned.

But, so long as she was stuck in limbo, she might as well be productive about it. Maybe a distraction would help soothe her anxiety.

"I can't sleep," she told him as he stood to return his sword to his hip. She followed him up. "I think I'm going to head to the hot springs. Wanna come? I could put on my swimsuit."

"No thanks," he answered with a grin. "I'm gonna get my ass kicked."

"I'm sure Sango won't mind."

He tilted his head admonishingly as his lids dropped a hair.

"I ain't talking about Sango, and you know it." She smiled back shyly, unwilling to dispute him. "Just be careful."

"Okay." The two shared a knowing glance in a moment of bittersweet acknowledgement, and then Kagome departed.

* * *

She hadn't even found her towel yet when a familiar pulse of oppressive youki dominated her senses and roused her miko blood. She almost forgot to drop her shampoo bottle as she instantly bolted out the door, and ran up the dirt road as fast as she could manage.

She tried to outrun her troubled thoughts, willing her fearful mind blank until she saw the results with her own eyes.

By the time she got there; her breath was heavy, and her heart was trying to jump out of her throat, but she refused to pause and wait for either to get under control.

When she burst through Sesshoumaru's door for the third time that night; she saw the brothers kneeling over his futon.

She saw what they were looking at, but her eyes refused to tell her brain exactly what was going on in front of her. So finally, she froze.

Momentary shock rendered her useless, but at least prevented any one of the many terrible reactions bubbling in her chest and clamoring for release. None of them would do anyone present any good, so she willed herself to remain still.

For lying motionless upon the futon, under the gentle gaze of the looming half-brothers, was Rin.

And for a moment, all of her fear and uncertainty and terrible questions she did not want to ask melted away. For just that brief moment; she let relief wash over her like morphine, and the warmth spread through her entire body, ridding it of all her pain instantaneously, and completely.

It was her. She was here. He had found her.

But Kagome could read the room, so her excitement at seeing the small human child they had been searching relentlessly for was immediately tempered back down to almost nothing.

Neither dog demon looked her way as she rushed to the young girl's side, and fell unceremoniously to her knees. Wide, panicked eyes searched desperately for signs of life, and the renewed relief she felt was glorious when a subtle rise and fall of her little chest indicated she was breathing normally.

"What's wrong with her?" she demanded, and reached forward to take her pulse. It was more out of anxious impotence, for the demons beside her could surely hear every heartbeat loud and clear from where they sat.

"She was like this when I found her." Sesshoumaru's eyes never left his ward, and he continued to assess her even as he spoke; the hint of a scowl forming at his sculpted youkai mouth. "She appears to be sleeping, and I cannot wake her."

"Does she have any head trauma?" she asked next, and very gingerly touched around the girl's cranium. She turned her just a little, looking for cuts or bruising.

"Not that This Sesshoumaru can discern."

Aside from a few minor scrapes; Rin appeared to be unharmed. Physically, at least. That was good, of course, but also unhelpful in assessing her unconscious state.

"Any other injuries?" she asked for good measure. "Any bite wounds, or cuts?"

Kagome was going down the list of possibilities, but she'd wager that if Rin was indeed poisoned; the sharp-nosed poisonous youkai that found her would have been able to sniff it out.

"No," he confirmed. "Her heartbeat and breathing patterns are exactly as when she is sleeping."

Endearing images of the Western Lord watching over his young charge while she slept pulled at Kagome's heartstrings, but she had little time to fawn. They were running out of options, and none of them were good.

"Well, if she wasn't injured," Kagome surmised, "and she wasn't poisoned; it could be a spell. Or a coma."

Being from the future; she had an advanced wealth of medical knowledge... well, enough to be helpful. But with demon magic and witches' spells... it made it difficult to reach logical conclusions with any certainty.

A miko's arrow sealed Inuyasha to a tree for fifty years, but she doubted those youkai had a miko at their disposal. They had encountered demon magic in these lands; who knew what they were capable of?

"Where did you find her?" Inuyasha asked, as Kagome wracked her brain for answers.

"At the stronghold. It seems Toran's instincts were good." And his own, in choosing to follow them. The Daiyoukai straightened to sit back on his knees, and his brother followed suit.

When Sesshoumaru lifted his gaze away from Rin, only the distracted look in his eyes betrayed his cluttered thoughts and exasperation.

"Did you kill them?"

He didn't look his brother's way as his golden gaze returned to the sleeping child. She appeared peaceful, at least.

"All but one. I wished to get her back here first."

Inuyasha was very interested in the details of the battle, but he would get them another time. With how quickly his brother returned; he could guess it was a pretty quick hit job, and not as slow or satisfying – or just – as Sesshoumaru surely preferred. But he was surprised he'd let even one of those bastards get away.

He had a feeling this wasn't the end of it.

"How do you cure a coma?" Though he wasn't looking at her; Kagome knew his gentle question was for her. She only wished she had a better answer for him.

"You don't," she regretfully informed him. He finally lifted his eyes to meet her sympathetic gaze. "If she is in a coma; it is up to her when she wakes up."

"Unacceptable. There must be something we can do." After a moment of silence, he asked, "What else do you need?"

That had been what she was trying to determine. She had been learning to cleanse and repair damaged bodies, but the mind was a beast of another breed. Anything beyond a minor tune up was well out of her depth, and if it was a spell, out of her field completely.

"Um... Kaede taught me some stuff," she admitted, but Sesshoumaru did not like the uncertainty quivering her tone. "but I need to speak to the elder. He will know more than I do."

Nodding resolutely, Sesshoumaru stood.

"Very well. I will send him to you now."

The others remained knelt beside Rin as he made to exit the hut, but something in his tone caught Kagome's attention. It did not sound as if the demon lord would be returning.

"Where are you going?"

Pausing as he reached the door; he responded over his shoulder.

"I have a few more," his tone darkened maliciously, "matters to attend to."

Though his answer was cryptic; they could both guess what at least one of those matters might be.

"Sesshoumaru..."

He didn't turn; he had an idea what troubled plea might follow. But he stayed still, and Kagome surprised him.

"You did it." The pride in her voice was unlike anything he had ever heard. But as much as he appreciated her heartfelt praise, he couldn't relish it. He knew he didn't deserve it.

But with a smile; she continued, and let her immense relief be known to him. "You saved her. I knew you would."

It should be a joyous moment, but it wasn't. He was happy she was alive, absolutely. But this was far from a success.

He still didn't turn to face them, opting to look at the door beneath his hand instead.

"It is early yet for celebration," he said coldly. "Do all that you can."

When Daichi entered 20 minutes later; he was alone. After instructing him to assist the others; Sesshoumaru took off to handle his _business_ while he still had his youki. He'd found Rin quickly, so the night was still fairly young. It would be hours until daybreak, and they expected him to be gone until then.

Kagome hoped he at least took a moment to enjoy himself in his old form. Last time he seemed to come back rejuvenated. She wanted him to find some measure of peace, if he could get it.

"My grandfather spoke of a spell that put humans to sleep indefinitely."

After being briefed on the state of things; the elder had a quick look at Rin and suspected that a spell was indeed to blame. Though, Kagome was suspicious. Not that she didn't trust him, but people in this era just didn't know about comas. Ignorance was the driving force behind many superstitions. But demon magic turned out to be a real thing, so she decided to keep an open mind until she had any better ideas.

"Is she okay?" the miko asked nervously. "Does it hurt her?"

The old man's kind smile put her at ease. He shook his head.

"She should be fine," he assured her, and it let her relax some. "It is as if she is in a deep sleep, nothing more."

How long had she been like this? And why would they do this to her?

Maybe she was simply a pawn, and the tigers didn't want to deal with the troubles an unruly child could bring.

It might actually be good news. The less she remembered about her kidnapping was probably the better. She almost looked perfectly preserved.

"How do we wake her up?" Inuyasha asked the man anxiously as he continued to assess her condition. The elder's thoughtful pause was not encouraging.

"There is a way," he imparted confidently, "though I do not recall it exactly."

The couple appeared dejected. That was not very useful to them.

Taking note of their disappointment, Daichi straightened.

"Fret not," he said. "It is in my texts somewhere; I simply have to unearth them."

That was all it took to lift the miko's somber aura into a brilliantly bright ball of optimism. She was happy to tightly grab onto any scraps of hope thrown her way.

"Great!" she beamed, flashing Inuyasha an excited glance and grinning radiantly. "Thank you! Just go get it and-"

"I am afraid as village elder, I am the keeper of thousands of scrolls, miko. It is going to take some time to find it."

Daichi's admission tempered her enthusiasm slightly, but at least they were getting somewhere.

"Oh. Well, okay." Chancing another look at Rin; she focused on the girl's steady breathing to placate her. "As long as she isn't hurting; I guess all we can do is wait. Can we help?"

"Not unless you know what to look for. No, you would do well to leave the task to me alone." As much as she wanted to assist; she could understand that. The last thing she wanted was to get in the old man's way. Though there was nothing worse for nerve-wracking anxiety than waiting helplessly on the sidelines. "I will get started on it at once."

"Thank you," Kagome offered again nonetheless as he brushed past her to exit. But still eager to be occupied, she asked, "What should I do?"

"As you said," replied the elder, with kind eyes to match his smile, "wait."

* * *

An hour later, Miroku and Sango had found their way to Sesshoumaru's hut, and were made abreast of the exciting new developments.

Having Rin meant the search mission was over, but until she was awake; they were kind of at a standstill.

Still, it was enough to warrant a sense of accomplishment, and huge relief at not having to venture any further into the unfamiliar, youkai-infested lands. The mood was easy and relatively light while they waited for Daichi to find his cure, but Inuyasha noticed the stress still mounting in the miko's aura.

She'd made herself comfortable beside Rin, touching the girl lightly and talking to her to try and reach through, but he saw it every time her eyes cut longingly to the window as if looking for any sign of his brother's impending return.

It was hours until sunrise yet, and he knew how Kagome could get when she was worried. He also knew the cure. At least he could fix one human girl tonight.

"Hey Kags, we got this. Why don't you go take your bath?"

It was where she was headed before his half-brother's early return interrupted her. He supposed it was better than interrupting her right in the middle of it, however. She could still relax and enjoy herself.

But she shook her head.

"No, I can't leave-"

"She ain't goin' nowhere," he assured her with a crooked smirk. "I promise I'll protect her."

He leaned casually against the wall where he sat. Between his legs, Sango was cradled in his hold, playing affectionately with his hands. Across from them, Miroku was meditating next to a dozing Kirara.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" she asked, and the hanyou smiled.

"I'm too restless to sleep anyway."

Not that he needed much of it, but all the excitement would make sleeping almost impossible. No, he was content to stand guard until his brother got back.

His grin widened when Kagome finally stood. He knew she wouldn't take much convincing.

"If anything happens, come and get me okay?" she begged.

Hands full; he gestured his head toward the door. "Go."

And with a thankful smile, she acquiesced, and went to resume looking for her towel.

* * *

She vowed to make it quick, and return to Rin's side, but just like quicksand; hot springs had a way of grabbing hold of her the second she entered, and it required impressive effort to remove herself from its seductive clutches. The way the hot water soothed the tension in her aching muscles ensured she came up short on resolve.

The secluded bathing area was a system of pools, tiered on an incline, and running the water down through them like a fountain of champagne. Previously unoccupied; she had her pick, and chose a pool in the middle level so she could stand beneath the water as it streamed down onto her like a waterfall from the pool above it, creating a shower effect.

Once she washed the conditioner from her hair; Kagome moved off to the side of the spring that had a submerged ledge – the shallower end ensured she could keep her chin above water - and tilted her head back against the lip's edge.

Now that she had a moment alone; she attempted to get her frazzled thoughts into some semblance of order, but PTSD was leaving her mind almost forcefully blank. It had been one hell of a night – so far! - and she didn't even know where to begin.

Before she'd even stepped foot in Sesshoumaru's hut, she had a feeling something was going to happen between them tonight. She may not have admitted it to herself in any certain terms, but sake, and a massage... a silk robe! She knew what she was doing, even as surrendered control and let her instincts take over.

She didn't know how far she planned to take things with him, but she had a feeling that if his youki hadn't returned, she would probably not be a virgin anymore.

That brought her to part two of her crazy little evening. Almost having sex with Sesshoumaru was a huge enough ordeal to wrap her mind around, but then he changed back.

She knew it had happened once before, but this was her first time witnessing the transformation.

She had been so scared, looking down her body only to find the dark-haired man with violet eyes had altered back to all his demon glory... well, almost all of it. She wondered what it was that was missing.

She remembered the pained look in his crimson gaze when she started at the sight of him. But really, it was quite startling, his unannounced return – between her legs, no less. It was a completely valid reaction.

But deep down, she knew it was more than that. She had a feeling the perceptive demon lord knew it too. It was just as he'd been telling her, and she hated to admit that he was right.

She'd spent the past month getting to know Sesshoumaru as a human. Though she'd known him longer; she'd spent decidedly more time around his human self than his demon. Hell, after the first day with him she'd already accomplished that.

And though she wanted to return him to his old form _in theory,_ she already mourned the loss of the human she was becoming frighteningly attached to.

That demon with the scary red eyes was not the man she'd grown close to. The man she'd laughed and teased and bickered with. The man she'd kissed, and trusted with her life. The man she nearly gave herself to.

Instead; that was the demon who'd hurt her friends. Who hated his brother. Who tried to kill her.

And though she was confident that he no longer wished her any harm – especially after the way he'd left things in the hut – it was going to take some time in his presence to cure the unease she felt around him. Some new, more friendly memories were going to have to be made to replace the unpleasant ones he had left in her mind. But she was willing.

She was more than willing to give the old him a chance to be the new him, if that was what he wanted. From their last intimate encounter, it seemed like he did.

And if that wasn't enough, that brought her to part three. Rin.

The little girl was back with them, and she was alive. The joy in finally rescuing the girl was tempered greatly by her unconscious state, but at least she appeared relatively unharmed. It was a huge relief.

Her... coma? spell?... left all of their futures uncertain, but at least they could stop looking for her. Their search had ended. They now had a new task – getting her to wake up, and hopefully Daichi's cure would do the trick.

After that, all that was left was to go home. But even the prospect of home wasn't as joyous a thought as it should have been.

She was happy to get back, and happy the mission was over. But once they got home, then what?

Sesshoumaru couldn't go back to _his_ home yet. She didn't really know what his plan was now. He had been so focused on finding Rin; he hadn't given his humanity much attention. But now that he found her, the next step would be trying to find a way to change him.

Kagome still hadn't found the cure for his problem, though she did have a few ideas.

But until he was fixed, she assumed he would be staying with them in Kaede's Village. Which meant, she supposed, he would be staying with her. The thought made her blush.

Maybe she was being presumptuous, and it really did warrant a conversation. But it wasn't like he had anywhere else to go.

She didn't want him to go anywhere else.

And now that he had Rin, she would probably be staying with them too. While they looked for his fix...

That was the hardest part of all, but she'd already come to terms with it. Once they got back he would be searching for the cure to make him demon again for good, and she would be helping him. Because it was her fault, and she had vowed to him that she would, Kagome would be working tirelessly alongside him to try and change him back.

She would be forced to help him become a demon so that he could leave her forever. If she failed; he would die a human. It was a lose/lose, for the both of them. She didn't know what she had done to piss off the fates so badly, but it must have been a doozy.

Kagome lifted her head off the edge of the spring to give her neck a quick stretch, and sleepily opened her eyes.

This time, when she took in the image of Sesshoumaru's demon form before her, she managed to stifle her scream. Her wide eyes, startled gasp, and violent full-body flinch was more than enough reaction to alert the dangerous demon of her state, however.

"Kami," she cursed in a whisper, closing her eyes again and placing a steadying hand to her chest.

He really had to stop doing that; he was going to give her a heart attack. She wondered if he'd forgotten just how scary he was, though she didn't know how he could. Maybe it was she who had forgotten.

"You are frightened of me like this."

Beside her in the small pool – a respectable distance away – Sesshoumaru sat bare chested, with his elbows propped up on the edge behind him. She assumed the rest of him was bare as well, but the water bubbled as it fell into their spring, and rushed past them before falling into the pool down below in a way that disrupted the water enough to keep his lower half from her view. She couldn't say she fully appreciated that.

"No," she insisted, doing her best to calm herself after the initial surprise. At least she didn't stutter, but her heart was beating so fast that even she could hear it; could see it trying to jump right out of her chest.

His flat expression darkened, eyes narrowing almost imperceptibly.

"Now I can scent your lie."

Yep, there was no point lying to him now, not that she necessarily wanted to. She just didn't want to hurt his feelings. She knew her fear upset him.

"I know you won't hurt me," she said honestly, wanting to assure him. She met his eyes, "it's just a bit jarring."

He studied her for a moment with those keen eyes, and she couldn't tell if he believed her. At any rate, he appeared to accept the answer.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked; his baritone gave nothing away.

She instantly appeared frantic.

"No!" If he was surprised at her reaction, he didn't show it. She immediately gentled. "Stay."

Sitting up straighter and turning toward him, the water was high enough to cover her naked breasts, though she supposed it didn't matter. With his demon sight; she was sure he could see through the water like it was glass, but she didn't mind it. He'd seen a lot more only hours ago. The memory caused a familiar burn low in her abdomen.

For his part, however; his eyes never strayed from hers. She found the intensity of his scrutiny a bit unnerving, but she pushed through it.

"You're back fast," she observed. None of them were expecting him to return before the sun. Like last time; she figured he would want to enjoy his demon night to the fullest, whatever that entailed. She could only guess, but she had an idea. "Did you kill the last tiger?"

He hadn't said it in so many words, but one of Rin's captors had managed to elude him. Now that she was back in the safety of the village, the miko considered that revenge was a likely candidate for the 'matters' he had to attend to. But he surprised her again.

"No."

"No?" Then what was he doing here?

"I tasked Jaken with finding him."

So, he'd found his loyal imp too. But this didn't seem like the kind of job he'd shove off onto his vassal. She was certain he would want to handle this particular task personally.

"You did?" she asked, scrunching her brow in confusion. "Why?"

He studied her thoughtfully another moment, and she had to force herself not to squirm.

"The last time I changed, I learned that revenge – while _gratifying_ ," the way his sinister smirk reached his eyes and lit them up with malice caused a shiver of terror to wrack through her form. "- is not worth the regret. I have more important matters to see to at the moment."

"Like what?" she wondered aloud. He surprised her again when he casually lifted his clawed hands to gesture carelessly around them. Her brows both shot up into her wet, curling bangs a moment before she forced them back in place. She gawked at him a moment before finally finding her voice.

"Sesshoumaru," she began in a careful, measured tone. He lifted his own brow innocently in response. "are you saying that even though you do not know when or _if_ you will ever be demon again, you are choosing to spend your fleeting hours as a Daiyoukai _bathing_ with me?" His silence was all the answer she needed, and she stared back, aghast. "Why?"

This was his one chance to get the last tiger who had taken Rin from him, who had attacked him and stolen from him and instigated this whole god-forsaken mission. Why would he pass up the chance to get his pound of flesh? He could still get hours of torture in if he started right now.

"My revenge will always be there," he explained reasonably. "You may not."

She faltered as her chest flooded with warmth that far surpassed the water in the spring.

She knew he regretted wasting his demon night on revenge last time when he could have been searching for Rin, but now he had her. He was free and clear to go conduct his 'business' with a clean conscious. Unless, he feared regretting something else.

And sure, she wouldn't always be with him – but she would be here tomorrow, most likely. They still had time. Unless...

Her throat suddenly became very dry, and she eyed him cautiously.

"Is there something you wanted to do with me that you couldn't do as a human?"

She couldn't say she wasn't curious, but the prospect made her nervous. She was already operating with almost no experience relationship-wise; she didn't need any demon surprises to contend with.

But maybe he was just eager. He had promised to find her as soon as he found Rin...

There was something heated in that passive glare that told her she was onto something.

"I suppose we will find out."

His suggestive answer had all of her senses on high alert, but when he said nothing more, she began to reconsider her assumptions. Rin was still lying unconscious in his hut with the others, and she was a bit surprised he wasn't there with her now.

"Did you find out how to help her?" she asked. The question seemed to catch him off guard.

But only for half a second. Another half later, his cool mask was back in place.

"I conferred with the elder," he explained. "He is still scouring his scrolls. It looks as though it may take a while yet, however I told him to fetch me the second he learns anything."

She supposed there wasn't much to be done until then. But if he wasn't out looking for that last tiger, she wondered what he'd left them to go do.

"What else did you-"

"I do not wish to discuss it now," he said firmly, she could tell it took effort to keep the sharp edge out of his tone. "I came to you for a distraction."

His blunt admission sobered her a bit, and she gave herself a shake.

"Of course. You had a rough night." She couldn't tell if he was offended by her presumption, but he didn't counter.

She wasn't sure how she felt about him using her as a respite from all that was going on, but she understood. As hard as this all was for her, it had to be a thousand times worse for him. And even though she had a lot of questions for him – about Rin, and his night out, and what to do going forward - she admitted that she wanted a distraction from it all too.

Was he hoping to pick up where they left off?

Shyly, she started to ask, "Did you want to...?"

Finally, the first genuine smile since his return graced his handsome demonic features, and it excited and terrified her all at once. Just being around him was a thrilling experience.

"Your presence will suffice," he answered gently, and she felt herself relax. She still wanted him, but the fact that he was demon was incredibly intimidating and she didn't know if she was ready for that.

Was that why he wanted to refrain? He did say that he could only be hers while he was human, but he'd already crossed that line back in his hut...

She pushed those thoughts aside for now, and returned his smile, hers brimming with admiration.

"You did it," she offered proudly once again. "You found her." If she didn't know any better, she'd say he looked uncomfortable with the praise. It wasn't like the Western Lord to be modest.

Still, she continued to gush.

"I knew you would. She is very lucky to have you."

But he only continued to look back at her stoically, and for the first time in a long time; the silence felt tense in the air between them.

It was hard not to focus on his reclaimed demonic traits; she was so used to not seeing them brandished now. His long, white hair spilling carelessly into the water around him... His pronounced magenta markings on his face and arms stood in stark contrast to his pale, ivory skin... And those eyes – so different, and yet, so achingly similar somehow to the violet that so often sought her own, and consumed her like prey.

She was becoming overwhelmed by an irrational sense of loss, and she hoped he didn't notice as she continued to babble nervously.

"All we have to do is cure her, and then we get to go home." She forced a tight smile, "The hard part is over."

He still did not respond, and Kagome felt awkward in the long moments that followed. He was just looking at her, not saying anything. She didn't know what he wanted from her, and it was making her edgy.

She felt saved by the bell when something suddenly occurred to her. She needed a distraction from being a distraction.

"I have to get out," she informed him. He glared back flatly. "I... forgot my razor. I was going to shave."

"Shave what?" 

She paused, and smiled in embarrassment.

"My legs," she admitted. "Under my arms."

Another long stare, and then he made his offer.

"I can shave you."

Instead of being startled by the suggestion, she gave him a confused once-over.

"You have a razor?" she asked skeptically. With a devious smile, he fanned his fingers.

"I have ten."

Her eyes widened a fraction when she realized what he intended, and she wasn't sure if she was comfortable with it or not.

"Is that safe?" she asked. She'd seen what those claws could do. Those _poisonous_ claws.

He held her stare meaningfully, face bereft of his prior amusement.

"If you trust me."

Damn. Now she didn't have a choice. She couldn't refuse without seeming like she didn't trust him. She had a feeling this was a test for him, and she didn't want to fail it.

Meekly, she inquired, "Is that okay?"

"Would I have offered otherwise?"

No, she supposed he wouldn't have.

"It will bring me pleasure."

She knew what he meant, but she allowed for a short, uncomfortable laugh anyhow. It distracted her from the fact that he was now standing, and making his way over to her.

"You're so weird."

Her rude remark earned his smirk. As he waded over, her eyes were drawn to the thick cut of magenta wrapping around each hip, and disappearing into the water beneath the pronounced V in his lower abdomen. Wow.

He had a very nice human form, but it was nothing like this. She felt like she could actually see his power. When he spoke, it startled her from her ogling, and she offered a guilty smile. He didn't seem to mind it.

"You are not one to talk, time-traveling Shikon Miko, who enjoys bathing nude with demons."

His teasing was familiar, and reminded her that the human she knew was still in that godly, powerful demon body. It made him sound comfortable, and that made her comfortable with him.

Comfortable enough to stand as well, exposing her upper half to him.

"Just one demon," she reminded him, and noticed how his gaze dropped from hers for a moment as the space between them got smaller. "and I'm not super corruptible, he just happens to be ridiculously hot. It really isn't fair."

She stopped before she reached him, smiling up into his much taller frame. When he reached forward to brush her face gently with his clawed fingers; she leaned into his touch, closing her eyes as she placed her hands on his immovable chest.

He bent low, and she trembled when she felt his hot breath ghost across her ear.

"I would make it my life's work to corrupt you."

His low tones made her ache, and she expected him to kiss her. Actually, she was very eager for him to do so. So she was fairly disappointed when he pulled back slightly.

When she opened her eyes; he was still staring down at her, but his gaze betrayed nothing. She couldn't tell what he intended, so after a moment she offered her suggestion.

"Alright, well, let's see what you got." She was trying to project courage, but it was all bravado. "How do you want to do this?"

A man of action; he answered by grabbing her by the hips, and lifted her to sit on the lip of the hot spring. She squeaked in surprise, but he was so fast in this body that before she could protest, he'd already expelled mokomoko and arranged her comfortably on top of the luxurious fluff.

The position left her feeling incredibly exposed, completely naked as she was, with her legs hanging off the edge and dipping down into the full pool of water. It was hard not to cover her breasts with her arms out of reflex as he stood before her, the waist-deep water still keeping him from her view.

She blushed as she folded her arms over her lap, but he eased her discomfort by keeping his eyes on hers. Her blush spread down her entire body.

This was all so new to her, but he'd seen her _femininity_ before. He'd touched it, with his fingers, and now with his tongue too. But it was different then, being distracted by pleasure. Now, perched before him; she felt like she was on display. She wasn't entirely comfortable just being looked at.

But she forced herself to look at him, and something in his golden eyes put her at ease. It helped that he was holding her gaze, but the way his crinkled in the corners relayed a gentle kindness that let her muscles relax some.

He reached down and grabbed her calf in his hands, lifting it above the water. It was unclear if his small smile was _for_ her or _at_ her, but it brought her comfort as he rubbed water over her leg, wetting it.

She smiled back as tended to her, and almost made her laugh when he planted her foot against his solid stomach. He flashed one last lingering glare at her amused features, before turning his focus to the slight prickle of hairs below her knee, and brandished his index claw.

Starting at her ankle, Sesshoumaru ran the edge of his deadly talon all the way up to her kneecap. The perfect angle kept her skin safe, but the fingers on his opposite hand trailed to ensure the ending result had her completely smooth to the touch. Pleased with the outcome, he moved to the next section and repeated the process.

He was intently focused on his chore, and nearly halfway done with the first leg before Kagome found the wits to comment.

"This has got to be the most bizarre night of my life, and that is saying something."

"Hn."

He never lifted his eyes, nor paused his task, and Kagome wanted to giggle. All he needed was his tongue determinedly sticking out the side of his mouth and it would be perfect. She bit her cheek.

"Don't get me wrong; it's not a bad thing. In fact, I'm trying to think if I've ever had a better night."

With the last pass completed, he finally allowed himself to meet her eyes once more. He was pleased to find her much more relaxed now.

"It was almost perfect," he told her, but the longing in his amber gaze was tempered by the barest hints of sadness in his tone.

Dragging his hands all over her lower leg for anything he might have missed served to stoke her desires with the firm, gentle touch she knew he could offer. But instead of roaming higher like she wished he would; he lowered it, and wet it down one last time before lifting the other to start the process again.

"Well, that's good that it wasn't." He raised an eyebrow, and acknowledged her with a questioning look. She was still smiling. "It means your perfect night is still ahead of you."

He actually paused long enough to send a pointed, heated glare. He took the opportunity to rinse his claws.

"I believe you just agreed to another night together."

If it was supposed to be a threat, she wasn't scared. Her grin widened.

"Try and stop me."

The way he held her leg so softly, so tenderly made it easy to forget just what those hands were capable of. The tingles his touch sent coursing through her body made her forget the terrible things he had done.

When she closed her eyes; she saw a human with short black hair and violet eyes caressing her so carefully - not a bloodthirsty, power hungry demon lord. But he wasn't here. Or was he?

Just how much of that human man was really Sesshoumaru, unchanged by his transformation? How much of him would be lost once he returned for good?

Watching him work, she summoned the courage to ask.

"So," she began carefully, "now that you're demon again, do you feel any different?" The dubious look he quickly gave relayed his confusion. "As far as... I don't know; do you feel more violent than you did when you were human? More angry?"

When he paused his task; she worried she might have offended him, but then he ran his fingers over her in a featherlight touch as if trying to prove how gentle he could be with her. She closed her eyes at the soothing action.

"My lust for blood and vengeance is no different than it was," he said so calmly, so casually. His rumbling tone soothed her too, despite what he was using it to say. "Now I simply have the means to act on it. My human form had never altered the desire, simply limited my options."

He resumed shaving, and Kagome absorbed what he just told her.

So being human hadn't made him any less angry, just hampered his ability to act on it? Was it possible that maybe he hadn't really changed that much? That there were other things that wouldn't leave him with his humanity?

That it was his recourse, not his feelings, that would change when he did?

Maybe being human limited his choices for how to act out his rage, but being demon limited his options for how to respond to his attraction to her. Unless, it took away the attraction all together.

"Has your distaste for my race bolstered at all, compared to before you left?" His eyes instantly cut to hers at the sound of her soft voice. "Do you hate humans again?"

"Indeed," he confirmed, and her chest constricted painfully. "So much so that I endeavored to bathe with one, and assist in her grooming as if I was no more than a common servant."

His monotone delivery and placid facial expression were completely on-brand, but he was so deadpanned that it scared her. Finally, the slight upturn at the corner of his lips allowed her heart to resume beating.

"I apologize. It appears my proficiency in humor leaves something to be desired."

She released an uneasy breath, and forced a pained smile.

"Maybe not the best time for jokes," she suggested.

"Hn. I recall a certain miko who is known to make inappropriate jets at the most _inopportune_ times."

She saw amusement dancing in his eyes, curling his lips while he shaved her legs, and she couldn't help but crack a grin. She knew just what he was talking about, and was pleased that they could finally laugh about it now. It seemed like so long ago...

"Well, it's funny when I do it."

The look he leveled her with begged to disagree, and a short burst of giggles escaped unbidden.

"I will have you know," he replied with mock indignation as he rinsed off his claws, "my council finds my humor quite uproarious."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're a real cut up," she replied sarcastically. "As in, if they don't laugh at your jokes, you will literally cut them up."

He smirked at her assessment, but said nothing.

"You need to find an audience whose life you don't hold in the palm of your hand."

"I am afraid that leaves me without an audience," he replied haughtily, causing her grin to spread.

"Ah, there's that cocky bastard I remember. It must feel good to be the most powerful guy in the world again."

He didn't have an answer for that, but luckily, he didn't need one. With the second leg finished, he wetted it down and took a moment to rub his hands sensuously over its expanse. He took his time, making sure to touch every square inch, running his palm slowly up to her knee, and back down again in a gentle caress.

"Ready for inspection." At the address, Kagome lifted her legs out of the hot spring one at a time, and felt her skin all over to admire his handiwork. She bent her leg, placing her heel up on the lip of the spring, and he finally took the chance to gaze down at her opening as she thoughtlessly spread herself for him.

The smell had been driving him crazy, but now he could see the various shades of pink shimmering between her thighs. But it was not water from the spring which had her glistening from the inside. She looked so soft, so inviting, so-

"Wow," she gushed as she petted her bare legs, and tore him from his open appreciation. "I've never been so smooth." She flashed a thankful smile before she returned to admiring her naked skin. "And not a single scratch. You did better than I would have."

"I promised these claws would never cause you harm," he reminded her, and she didn't miss the husky tint in his voice. "I take my promises very seriously."

His honeyed gaze turned thick, and heavy, and he could scent the force of her arousal as it permeated the air between them.

This side of the spring had no ledge, so he was able to press his submerged hips up against the wall as he stepped closer. Forcing himself between her knees, they parted easily to make room for him, and she stiffened momentarily at the new proximity.

His face was inches from hers, and he had to command himself not to let his gaze drift down to her glistening, obviously excited breasts. Her breath hitched, waiting to see what he would do, and she burned hotter in her core when he began to lean into her. But he surprised her when he took hold of her wrist and lifted her arm high above her head.

Momentary confusion was cured when he lifted his claw under her arm and removed the hair there for her as well. A blush stained her cheeks as he did the same on the other side. He did not retreat once he was through, however. Leaning forward, he placed his hands on her thighs and began stroking her suggestively at the tops, all the while trapping her in his intense, hypnotic stare.

"Anywhere else?" he purred enticingly. "You have but a few hours before the chance will be lost, I suggest you do not squander them."

He lifted his hand to emphasize his temporary claws as she fought for the courage to ask him for more.

He saw her battling with herself, and his patience was rewarded when her already flushed cheeks became an impressive shade of red.

That color always bode well for him.

"Well," she began shyly, and her blue eyes drifted down to her swollen sex – spread open to accommodate him, and dripping for the same reason. His amber depths would immediately follow. "sometimes I shave myself here." When she lifted her shimmering sapphires again, she saw him studying her womanhood very intently, and became self-conscious. "But it gets hard to keep up with the longer I stay in the past. And with the mission and all-"

"Would you like me to shave you there?" he asked, about as close to begging as she'd ever heard from that demon. It gave her confidence, and her voice became breathy.

"Would you like that?" she asked him.

He never broke her gaze.

"Yes."

His voice was thick with desire, and it should have scared her. But all she could do was nod and say, "Okay then."

"All of it?"

She paused, and her shy smile intrigued, and excited him all at once.

"I leave a little up top," she told him, and rubbed the area in question. "Is there any shape you are good at making?"

"Such as?" he asked, but his voice sounded distant as his focus remained on her exposed flesh.

"Well, like a triangle?" she floated, but then something amusing occurred to her. "You could try a crescent." He lifted a brow, but when he saw her smile; he had the distinct feeling he was being mocked. "But I usually do a landing strip."

At his puzzled expression, the explained.

"It's just a long stripe." She stroked the patch of hair in question. "Right here."

His eyes lingered as she touched herself there, stroking the area lightly up and down. When he finally tore his eyes away, he pinned her with an earnest, albeit hungry expression.

"I will give you a stripe," he told her softly. For some reason, it made swallowing difficult for her.

"Okay."

She adjusted herself to lay back on his pelt of soft fur, enjoying the warm comfort as it caressed her skin. She was embarrassed when he coaxed her heels up on the lip of the spring, but she forced her discomfort aside, bent on showing the extent of her trust in him. She spread her legs wider.

If this didn't show her faith in him, she didn't know what would. She was so prone and open for him; so incredibly helpless. He could do anything to her in that moment, and there would be nothing she could do to stop him. She didn't even know if her reiki could fully fend him off, or be summoned before substantial damage was done.

She was at his mercy, as vulnerable as she could possibly be, with his poison claws poised to end her in less than half a second. He could do whatever he wanted with her. But didn't doubt her safety for a moment.

Between her bent knees; she felt his dangerous fingers pulling her tender flesh taut, and the sensation of the razor edge dragging so carefully across her skin. Her breathing became heavier, and not only from fear, as his claws scraped against her most sensitive of places.

The first whisps of her miko magic instinctively gathered where this powerful demon touched her, but her acceptance of that touch made her flesh tingle and sing instead of frying the offender. His youki buzzed pleasantly within him, too.

She quivered as he teased the edge of her lips, and when he gently grazed her puffy clit; she knew there was no way it was an accident. He was so close, _so_ _close_ to where she wanted him, and she was trembling with desire as she silently willed him to touch even more of her. To incite that wonderful crackling sensation his youki inflicted more pointedly.

She could feel her juices gushing out of her, reaching for him, trying to coat him, as her tight virgin walls clenched impotently, desperate to grasp onto him and only him.

Her first few pathetic mewls of want escaped against her will, but now she withheld nothing, moaning openly, crying in frustration, and expressing her need to him with each frustrating pass of his deft fingers. He had to be teasing her, and she hated him for it.

"It feels so good," she panted out, from her place on her back, "to get clean." Another long scrape along her outer lips had her breathing come even deeper than before. "Stripping away the excess, starting new."

Her engorged nub stood tall, and fat between her outer lips. His red-rimmed gaze would have no trouble spotting it from a mile away. So, not inches from his endeavoring fingers; it was impossible to ignore. Not that he wanted to.

She was so reactive, so sensitive to his every brush and graze. Even when he didn't touch her there, just the threat, just the possibility was enough to make her cry out and tremor with want. Human women really were something to behold. Youkai females were nowhere near as fun to play with. Getting such an enthused response was gratifying.

Tempting. And, he found, irresistible.

He had a job to do, but her pleasured reactions to even his slightest touch persuaded him to see what more pointed pressure would deliver. Mindful of his claws; he paused from his self-imposed duty to bend his toiling digit, and grazed her with his knuckle experimentally.

As predicted; the grateful, demanding moan of relief was his very satisfying reward. So with the next pass, he applied more force, stroking her swollen clit that seemed to be straining out to reach him. Calling for his power.

His name from her lips was heaven, and repeated many times as he drew several circles overs her heated flesh. She didn't appear capable of looking at him, however, but that was okay. With her head thrown back against his pelt, her lips opened wide to surrender freely whatever sounds he was able to wrest from her.

She whimpered with loss when he dragged his knuckle lower to trace at the slickness of her opening. He watched it quiver and clench as he tickled and tested the edge of her lips, before finding her center and entering her just slightly.

She lurched forward, desperate to absorb him into that elusive final frontier. That curious enigma that held promise of unnamed pleasures and eternal damnation alike. That last, untraversed unknown that he had been warned against, and sworn against, and actively avoided for centuries.

Now, it called to him. Beckoned him. Tempted him. And he felt himself falling. Heeding. Following willingly.

As she lured him forward, he found he didn't struggle. Then he realized, he hadn't been for a long time.

In fact, had he been seeking this whole time? He honestly couldn't say.

His knuckle was coated in her thick juices as he shallowly penetrated her heat. When he pulled back out, he returned briefly to rub what he'd collected onto her abandoned pearl, and she ground into the caress.

But he had a job to finish, and she seemed very irritated at that fact when he brandished his claw once again, and resumed his work, somewhat more rushed than before. He was eager to get this done while he still had the resolve. He could feel it slipping.

He didn't say anything, staying completely focused on his task. But as he continued, his breathing took on a feral edge, something resembling a growl deep in his chest escaped with every rough exhale.

He made her stripe last, and when he was done, he leaned forward to hover over her splayed, gasping form.

"Anywhere else?" he asked roughly. "Last chance."

But before she even answered 'no,' she watched as he put the ends of his two fingers into his mouth. He gnawed the claw tips down, blunting them and rounding their edges, before spitting the poisonous clippings far off to the side.

Lifting his index finger to her lips, her eyes remained locked on his when she parted them and let him put himself in her mouth.

She wrapped her lips around him tightly, and she felt him tremble between her legs as he slid himself all the way down to the base. When he removed himself, he took a moment to admire her flushed, willing body, and lowered his hand between them.

He took the finger coated with her own saliva, and prodded her opening gently, testing its give. Until finally, slowly and gently, he forced himself inside, watching her face contort as he slid between her folds.

A moan escaped her at the intrusion, and his mouth hung open in disbelief as he watched the pleasure bloom on her soft features. He marveled at the satiny soft feeling of her inner walls as he pried them apart with just one digit, but something occurred to him the deeper he went, causing waves of incredulity to crash over him. He could hardly take it, and used every bit of his strength to keep himself in check as he entered her as far as he could go.

He curled in on himself, and fell forward. Only his free arm was propping him up, preventing him from crushing her under his weight. He couldn't even look at her as he hung his head, letting long strands of silvery white hair fall over her bare skin. He clenched his jaw.

"Miko," he panted, screwing his eyes shut. "you are... impossibly tight." He couldn't even move inside her safely. The sensation of her clamping down so firmly on just his one finger had his beast scraping for control, begging to be free to partake in the pleasures this woman could offer. His voice became raspier. "It feels as if nothing has ever been inside you."

Releasing a shaky breath of her own; she lifted her hand to comb her fingers through his bangs, pushing them out of his face. His eyes were still closed, and he looked like he was in pain.

"Nothing has," she admitted.

His cock was so hard, and smashed so uncomfortably against the wall of the spring, but it had to stay that way. All he wanted was to finish crawling on top of her and sink inside her incredible tightness. The rough wall in front of him stifled him a bit, and he began to gather his composure.

"You pleasure yourself, at least." He pushed himself up some, and shifted on his elbow so he could look at her as he loomed over her body.

"I do," she admitted, "but I don't put anything inside."

He was staying still, giving her time to adjust to the intrusion, and giving himself time to adjust to the knowledge of just how glorious it felt to be inside of her. She was even more snug than he had imagined. If he didn't have his demon scent, the sensation alone would attest to her purity.

As he remained motionless inside her; they both gathered their bearings.

"I simply thought," he gasped, cracking his eyes at her, "due to your access to futuristic sex toys..."

When she released a breathy laugh; she clenched around him tighter, and he stifled a groan.

"Hey, I didn't buy that. My mother gave it to me, if you recall."

He looked up into her smiling features, and managed a smirk of his own.

"Strange family."

She tried to look indignant, but he was hardly feeling admonished.

"Now it's _you_ who has no room to talk, Mr. son of a great demon warlord who fell for a human princess, and brother to a half demon." When his smirk widened, it gave her access to one of his fangs, and she found herself captivated by it before dragging her teasing glare back up to him. "And let's not forget; you enjoy bathing naked with silly human mikos."

"Just one miko," he quickly corrected. "and I cannot be blamed; she is _fabulously_ tight." She threw her head back and moaned again when he withdrew almost completely, and entered her to the hilt once again. "I never stood a chance."

Loving her reaction; he repeated the act several times. Slowly at first, but increasing speed each time he forced himself through her tender folds. Always gentle, however.

Her eyes remained shut as she moaned her encouragement, and he was content to watch her. But when she reached out to weave her fingers into his silky strands, he paused; earning a frustrated huff for the hold up.

"You must begin entering yourself regularly to prepare for me," he informed her apologetically. "I do not want it to be painful for you."

He was always so concerned about her. Hearing his gentle tone, Kagome lifted her head to take in his considerate features, and smiled.

"I could..." she offered innocently, "or, you could prepare me." His eyes hooded instantly as he kept his gaze intently on hers. Her coy smile turned wicked as she saw desire consume him. "Are you terribly busy these days, or could you _squeeze_ me into your schedule?"

When she clamped down on him for emphasis, the groan he'd been repressing finally made its way from his throat. Answering the taunt, he resumed his previous plundering as he dipped low to pull a pert nipple between his fanged teeth.

She used her grip in his hair to hold him to her breast, and he used that talented tongue she was now familiar with to stimulate her nerve endings in two places at once. The clashing of power intensified in both erogenous zones, and she could tell she wasn't the only one affected by the occasional growl that escaped him.

She wasn't prepared for him to withdraw from her so suddenly, and when he did, she lifted her head to complain. But when she did, she saw him lifting his declawed index finger to his mouth. He held her eyes as the digit slipped past his cruel lips, and he made a show of removing every last drop of her arousal with that greedy tongue.

It reminded her of that night in the kitchen, and she remembered exactly how it felt when he'd licked her own finger clean, and what he'd alluded to.

In his hut earlier that evening; she'd confirmed his unspoken claims.

"How do I taste?" she asked breathlessly, and wondered if he remembered that night too.

It would appear that he did.

"Exquisite."

She sighed with impatient need when he lowered his hand between them once again. As his fingers returned to prod at her opening; he lowered his head as well to resume his attentions on her breasts.

Light sucking, and forceful licks made entry easier this time around, as he seemed to commit to memory which methods might help grant him passage later on when he would need much more assistance.

He switched to her other breast as she clawed and yanked at his hair, pulling his face closer and smashing him against her supple flesh. He was trying to restrain himself – he didn't want to scare her – but she noticed the soft snarls that managed to escape the back of his throat intermittently. She found she didn't mind them. In fact, making the fearsome demon lord lose his cool was beyond gratifying.

As he continued to pump her, she loosened up enough for him to feel comfortable adding a second digit to her tight passage. He growled as he gently forced his way in, and earned a sharp, pleasured cry at the intrusion. It only made her hold him tighter, but after given time to adjust; the sensation of being filled and stretched by him had her soon bucking into his hand, desirous of even more.

To appease her; he shifted his hand so that his clawed thumb could press on her clit without harming her. She seemed to appreciate the consideration, and ground into him as he began rubbing small circles into and around the extended flesh.

At the same time; he resumed pumping inside her - with two fingers this time - spinning several plates and doing a mighty fine job at it. When he chanced a soft bite on the tip of her nipple, she finally pulled him away by his hair.

"Sesshoumaru," she begged, holding his head in her hands, " _please_."

He could hear her desperation; he could smell it. But his control was on point, and he both praised and cursed it in that moment. He looked down at her apologetically. "I will not take you."

His tone was gruff and breathy, but stern as ever. Something like hurt flashed in her eyes as they breathed heavily into each other.

"Because you're a demon?"

He knew what she was asking, and he didn't blame her. He'd given her more than enough reason to doubt his intentions, to suspect his misgivings as having to do with their most obvious of differences. But that wasn't why.

"You are not ready for me," he explained, still panting. He saw the counter on her tongue, so he clarified, "Not like this."

They had to wait until he was human again, but not because he found fraternizing unseemly. Not anymore.

It was for her own protection.

It was going to be difficult enough for her in his other form, and his demon body was for experienced riders only. Not to mention – and he hated to admit it - he was not entirely confident he could control himself with her just yet. He promised he would never bring her harm, and he couldn't ensure her safety at the moment.

"But I need you."

His eyes softened as his reckless desire tempered, and he leaned closer.

"You have me." After assuring her that; he closed the remaining inches between them, and slanted his lips carefully over hers.

He tried to ease her fears and worries with his gentle, albeit fang-filled mouth. And though he'd soothed her anxieties some; her troubles were far from extinguished. Neither were his, but he would deal with them tomorrow. For now, he let himself enjoy the power he coaxed from her, and tempered with his own, and how it put all of their previous encounters to shame. It would be hard to go back, after this...

When he parted from her; he started drifting lower down her body. Before he retreated; her most urgent fear couldn't help from escaping before her brain could give the go-ahead.

"Is Rin going to be okay?"

There was something he wasn't telling her. Something was bothering him. But when he let his guard slip for just a moment; the pain in his eyes made her wish she hadn't asked it. Not yet, at least.

He clearly needed her comfort right now. She was supposed to grant him reprieve, no matter how brief. They could deal with the world tomorrow.

He gazed up at her sadly before schooling his mask back into place.

"We shall see."

And just in case she had any follow up questions; he immediately descended onto her freshly shaved mound, and tested the new smoothness against the top of his tongue.

Hands clenched blissfully in silvery white strands as she urged him closer, and he resumed fucking her with his impressively long fingers.

With the addition of being filled; he'd managed to bring her to climax with his mouth even faster than last time. He was going to enjoy beating his time over and over again until he was forced to start clocking laps instead of speed, but not yet.

As she waited to come down from her explosive release, she trembled in the aftermath and waited for her vision to clear. She barely registered as he lifted himself out of the hot spring, and threw on only his hakama as he went to collect her.

He lifted her gently off of his pelt, and wrapped her in the towel she had brought with her. He didn't bother dressing her, but had no problem grabbing the rest of their things and carrying her comfortably in his arms back to her hut.

Inuyasha was still in his hut, with Rin and maybe the others, and that was where she assumed he was going. So when he gently deposited her onto her futon and ensured himself of her comfort, it was selfish of her to reach out and grab desperately at his arm.

"Don't go," she begged. In the darkness she couldn't make out his confused expression from above her.

"Go?" he asked, and removed the pelt from his shoulders. He tossed it carelessly aside with his haori and her clothing. "I have no plans to 'go.'"

A wide, hopeful smile lit up her face that despite the dark, he could make out just fine.

"You're going to sleep here?"

He stretched over her, moving from his crouching position at her side to loom over the length of her body with his own. On his hands and knees; his face hovered just beneath hers as he looked up at her.

"I have no plans to sleep."

A deep sigh escaped her as he lowered himself enough to press his sinful lips into the hollow of her throat. Instinctively, her hands slid into his glorious hair and he began kissing a purposeful path down to her breasts.

After bestowing eager affection to her tightened, rosy peaks - to a very enthusiastic reception - he resumed his path southward, and she managed another breathless question.

"What are you going to do?" Anticipation and excitement and fear and nervousness all combined to make a dizzying scent as he kissed his way down to her navel. Mixed with the tang of her arousal – both new and spent – was enough to bleed all the gold from his eyes, making them glow bright red in the darkness of the hut.

She could easily make them out now, and this time when she looked down her body into those feral depths; she gasped, and shuddered... but not out of terror.

He held her gaze, and answered her with a very serious expression.

"I am going to make you cum until you lose consciousness."

His threatening tone demanded her fear, and he actually had it for the brief second he held her eyes as he lowered his lips to continue trailing kisses down below her navel. But when he broke her gaze to venture further, she knew only ecstasy. Lust coiled tightly the further he descended, and her excitement surged as he used his deft hands to pry her smooth outer lips open enough to expose his treasure.

And when he wrapped his lips around it at last; pure, mindless relief melted away every last ounce of her tension. All worry and fear was removed at the behest of his firm, soft mouth and dexterous tongue. She instinctively attempted to thrust her hips forward, but his unmatched power kept her helplessly in place.

She didn't mind it; she liked being helpless for him. She wanted it. Because she knew he was more than capable of helping her even better than she could help herself, and she trusted him completely... even more than she trusted herself.

In his hands, she knew she was safe and cared for and looked after, and that's where she wanted to be. He would do what was best for her, even if she couldn't seem to manage it herself. The way she saw it, she was better off in his sturdy hands.

He'd made good on his threat, and it wasn't terribly long before the miko was asleep in his arms – and he hoped well-worn enough to sleep soundly, without her compassionate subconscious torturing her even as she slumbered.

He knew he would not be afforded the luxury, but luckily, he didn't need sleep tonight. So instead, he watched Kagome, and tried to keep his thoughts with her until she awoke once more.

She was sleeping peacefully enough for the both of them, and he was immensely satisfied in that. He stripped her of her excess and clutter so hopefully she could start clean tomorrow.

But something in the back of his mind that he refused to yet acknowledge told him that was impossible.

Things were different now, and nothing would ever, _ever_ be the same.


	30. Beast of Burden

_There was only darkness. And pain. Her hands hurt._

_Gripping Tetsusaiga with all her might, Kagome lay motionless in a pile of rancid ooze._

_Was this death? Consumed in nothing, no sight, no sound. Only pain._

_Time stretched on, it could have been minutes or months, but she did not let go of the sword. Something beyond thought told her to keep her grasp firm._

_Finally, that heavy blanket of power and sludge began to dissipate, and she had the call to stand, so she did._

_Popping up from the tomb floor was effortless, and the first thing she saw was Sesshoumaru._

_The look on his face was priceless, and she wanted to laugh. But she couldn't._

_But she didn't know fear, either. Only indignation drove her forward, as she stepped from the mess he had made, to swing the sword in his face. Not to strike, however; she was scolding him. Taunting him._

_Incredulous words were thrown, but as she was screeching her blasphemous tirade, her attention was drawn to the edge of the tomb._

_Rin, and Inuyasha both were in a cage fit for a dog, and they were screaming. Arms sticking out between thin bars; they were reaching for her, yelling for help, but her eyes were on the Daiyoukai only meters away._

_He was looking right at her, and suddenly his gaze turned red; a familiar glow that filled her with terror._

_She could hear the others screaming in the background, but she was paralyzed. Rendered motionless by that terrifying gaze._

_And he was getting closer. He was coming for her; his evil intent was more than clear; he wanted to kill her. He'd already tried. He would try again. And this time, he would succeed._

_She wanted to run, but she couldn't move. She had never been so frightened._

_He was close enough to touch her now, close enough to flex those poisonous claws right in her face._

_She knew she was going to die, and all she could do was wait for him to kill her._

_He dipped closer still, razor sharp fangs shining bright in the darkened tomb, and they were descending on her mortal flesh. Making her peace with the kami, she simply closed her eyes and awaited the inevitable..._

_Then, there was only pleasure._

_The tomb faded away, taking with it all of the bones and death and dark, and she was laying back; fully nude on lush sheets made of the finest satin._

_Peering down between her legs; glowing red eyes looked up at her through mussy, silvery white bangs._

_Those red eyes were fearsome, but she knew no fear. There was warmth in that gaze, there was safety._

_There was love._

_His eyes crinkled mischievously in the corners, and his lips on her sex had her arching in pleasure._

_She moaned._

_His tongue was doing wonderful things to her, and though it made her throw back her head and close her eyes in unmanageable bliss, she forced herself to take in that crimson gaze that was focused intently on her._

_His mouth was performing feats she was all too familiar with by now, but still in no way used to._

_Watching chiseled perfection lavish his attention on her swollen flesh had that unmistakable pressure coiling tighter within her, threatening to break._

_She moaned, begged, pleaded for what she knew he could so easily give her. Something he'd given her countless times by now, but she was greedy. He'd made her a glutton._

_But he would never deny her, this she knew. On the contrary, he would only enable this hedonistic habit he'd introduced her to._

_So as his soft, velvety tongue continued to work his magic; she laid back impatiently and awaited the inevitable._

_She broke._

At the peak of her pleasure, Kagome cried out, arching her hips into his handsome face. When she opened her eyes, she was trembling.

Halfway between dream and awake, she saw those burning red eyes morph slowly to violet, and mussy silver bangs turned jet black.

Panting heavily, she registered the clawless hands hooked around her thighs, and smiled at the crinkled edges of amused eyes. That thing - that thing that reminded her of love - was still there.

The last quake rolled through her, and she collapsed. Only then did he remove his lips from her quivering sex.

He wiped the substantial juices off his mouth using her bent, naked thigh, and slowly inched his way up her body. She was all too quick to receive him, wrapping weakened arms around broad shoulders and humming in satisfaction.

"That is my favorite way to wake up," she croaked, her voice raspy and raw. He hovered over her a moment, pressing his forehead to hers.

"With my tongue between your thighs?"

Before she could answer; he took her lips softly, but urgently; slipping his hands under her back when she pressed herself to him, and wove her fingers through the hairs at his nape.

When he finally pulled back; he offered a patient smile as he waited for her reply.

"With you," she clarified, and earned another, much longer kiss.

He relaxed his weight, shifting his arms to support him on either side of her flushed, naked body. She could feel his erection dragging against her, telling her that sometime in the night he had removed his pants to join her in nudity.

He was still grinning up at her as she combed through his bangs, and kissed her wrist swiftly when she moved to stroke his unstriped cheek.

"You like me better like this." The accusation was bereft of any hurt or condemnation. Twinkling eyes betrayed only amusement, and lingering hints of arousal as he held her doting gaze to place kisses above her breasts.

Her hickey was still present, purple and prominent right above her pulse point, and he placed a quick peck there as well. The only regret he held for becoming demon the night before was that his youki saw fit to heal him of the mark she had bestowed, despite his preferences to have it remain.

Though he had a feeling; he could likely persuade her to give him another.

"After last night," she informed him, cupping his face in her hands, "I'm pretty taken with your youkai self as well. I don't think I will ever be scared of your demon form again."

Devious eyes lit up, and she giggled when he extended his tongue to drag over her collar bone.

"Then my plan worked."

Yes, his motive – one of them – for using his time as a demon to give her a night of passion became clear in that moment, and she had to say it worked like a charm.

How could she ever think of stripes, silver, and searing red eyes without picturing those _fearsome_ traits squeezed helplessly between her thighs, giving her greater pleasure than she had ever known to be possible?

How could those fangs ever instill fear, when she knew how perfect they felt lightly grazing her lips, and her chest, and her tender, overstimulated bud?

"I'm surprised you can talk," she moaned, closing her eyes to bask in the attention his greedy mouth was lavishing on her kiss-burnt breasts. Delightful bites and bruises littered her creamy flesh, and she held the back of his head to encourage his continued assault. "Your jaw must be killing you."

The way his tongue played with her tight peaks brought back memories of only hours ago, and reminded her of all the amazing things it had done lower on her body.

Gods he was addictive. He'd already made her a fiend.

"Another benefit of being youkai," he finally deigned, after an extended tour of her chest. "Were I to attempt such a feat as a human, I might have injured something." A wicked smile graced his features as he shifted up on his knees. "But I shall endeavor to find out."

And then he was kissing a familiar path down to her navel, but when she laughed and grabbed his face again; he was easily pulled back up her body.

"Toran was right; you are orally fixated."

She felt his thick cock again when he went in for another kiss. She didn't know if he intended the leaking tip to drag against her opening, but it shot a thrill through her instantly. She realized then she was no longer scared of the prospect of finally going all the way with him. Her core seemed to clench in anticipation, wanting to be filled.

When she thrust to meet him and experience greater friction; the satiny hardness tickled her tender folds. He lowered his face to bury in the crook of her shoulder, and rolled his hips forward to trap his length between them. She shuddered as he ground into her throbbing clit, and he groaned against her ear.

"Do not trust everything that panther tells you," he ordered in rumbling tones. "But in this; she is accurate." She grabbed his hair in her fist as he kissed fervently at her throat, and his breathing became heavier as she ground her hips into his cock. "This One is actually surprised you are capable of speech. You nearly screamed yourself hoarse last night."

There was no mistaking the pride in his voice, but his smug look fell away as she rolled her hips up into him again. With matching expressions; their jaws hung open incredulously as they gasped into each other's mouths.

"My throat is a little sore," she admitted unnecessarily. The dry, scratchy quality of her voice spoke for itself.

He sympathetically lowered his lips to her exposed column to place gentle kisses on her damaged voice box.

"Mm, then do not speak," he commanded, nosing the flesh next. "No words shall be needed anyway."

He went in for another kiss, but her moving lips made it difficult.

"That's what got me into trouble in the first place," she mumbled against his mouth, but her half-hearted protests were easily swallowed as firm, soft lips commandeered hers.

He was right; words between them were unnecessary, and even undesired. They eagerly surrendered to the prolonged display of affection, kissing more passionately and communicating their need.

It was a vicious cycle; expressing such desperate want only stoked desires further, and soon he lifted his hand to cup her cheek and guide her towards him perfectly. From above; he angled himself to attack, and devour her to his heart's content. But it was hers too, so she lifted her chin to accept his feverish kisses and somehow take it deeper - if it was indeed possible.

Heavy gasping and short, excited breathing could not put an end to the display, but when Kagome reached between them to wrap her palm around his throbbing length; he knew what she wanted.

He took his cock back from her, and shifted himself to line up at her entrance. She moaned wantonly, and her clit was on fire as he used the wide head to trace her opening in firm, forceful circles.

"Gods, you are so wet," he told her, marveling at the sheer amount of fluids he was collecting on his manhood. Getting on his elbow; he used his cock to drag some of her moistness up her slit, and rubbed it into her swollen pearl as if to prove his point.

He slid the tip of his cock against her weeping core; not attempting to enter yet, just taking his time to enjoy the feel of her. Their naked sex had never had this much unbarred contact, and the feeling of smooth, wet skin becoming so intimately acquainted was worth some exploring, and reveling. As eager as he was, he was in no rush with her.

Kagome was a different story.

"All for you," she gasped breathily. "I'm ready now." Her soft hand on his cheek pulled his attention upward. "Now you're human, so no more excuses."

That was what he had told her last night. Despite her continued encouragement; he refused to take her while in his demon form. Well; now he was human, and her insistence hadn't appeared to temper at all in the new light of day.

She'd waited, albeit impatiently, and now he could finally concede. He wished she had prepared herself a little better, and he had suggested stretching her out a bit before the time came, but now; he was only a man. He was quite eager for this as well.

He continued to trace his dick along her slit, trying to loosen her up a little more, but after some prodding; it was still a very tight little hole. But he knew what might help.

He began to shift away, to reclaim his previous position between her thighs.

"Allow me to prepare you-"

"No." But she stopped him, grabbing his bicep and sitting up slightly. "It's going to hurt no matter what. Let's just get it over with."

He hated that this was something she had to _endure_. Her incredible tightness would only enhance his pleasure, but he would get none from watching her in pain. His eyes softened sympathetically.

"If I could sacrifice my own enjoyment for your comfort, I would do so in a heartbeat."

A genuine smile spread across her face, and she removed his arm to gently palm his cheek. He was too freaking adorable.

"I know. Just, go slow."

Sesshoumaru nodded as she got on her back again.

"Of course." He shifted to rest between her legs once more. "Promise you will stop me if you need to."

It was an order and a plea, and she pushed aside her nerves as she felt him at her entrance yet again.

"I promise."

He saw her anxiety flitter beneath her need, and he released his aching shaft to fondle her breasts some more. She sighed happily as he used his mouth on her nipples to try and relax her center. Warm, callus palms dragged all over flushed skin, and made sure she was hot, and dripping for him.

He used his fingers next before finally trying to gently force himself in, but there was an issue.

"Kami, you are so fucking big."

His cock was long, but thick as well. With all the preparation and stimulation, she was very turned on. Very wet and sufficiently relaxed, but at the end of the day; it was like trying to shove a tallboy can inside her. The mechanics just weren't working out.

Length was one thing; he didn't need to bottom out on her first go. But his girth was turning out to be an incredible obstacle. He didn't want to just ram it in, and he wouldn't. But after several gentle attempts, angles and methods; he finally pulled back, and she huffed in frustration.

"I don't know how this is going to work."

He was just as frustrated as she was, maybe even more. The tip of his cock was covered in her arousal, and had tasted the sweet, shallow entrance of her virgin canal. So, _so_ close, and yet so far.

But his initial instinct was correct, it would seem. She needed some more preparation before she would be ready to take him. That was fine; he was willing to help with that.

"Perhaps we should-"

"No. Don't stop." But the miko was determined. She'd been denied long enough, as far as she was concerned. "We just need some lubrication."

"Of course," he easily acquiesced. He would gladly spend all day lubricating her. He somehow became even more excited. "Let me use my mouth to-"

"Not me; I don't think I can get any wetter." He flashed her a confused look as reached down between them, but his eyes slid closed in pleasure when she wrapped her hand around that thick cock of his. "I will use my mouth to prepare _you_."

He was still hovering over her, an elbow propping him up on either side as she looked seductively up into his adoring features. She stroked him a bit while he took a moment to gaze down at her gratefully.

Just the thought of her hot little mouth around him was enough to make his pulse race, but before she urged him on his back; he dipped low to take her kiss-bruised lips with his one more time.

She continued to stroke him as he found her tongue gently with his. Using her thumb, she gathered his beading precum and smeared it all around his head. He trembled, releasing a long, shaky groan against her lips at the feel of her soft hands working him so beautifully. When he pulled away; he was smiling down at her, and she returned the sentiment sweetly as she waited for him to roll off of her. Blue met violet as they lost themselves in each other in an endless, contented moment.

But a knocking at their door tore them brutally from their intimacy. They both looked at each other with panicked eyes, silently communicating the desire to ignore the intrusion, but the second round of knocking was more forceful, and frantic.

" _Leave_ ," he barked out irritably over his shoulder, but deep down he knew it wouldn't be as easy as all that. There was no way the others weren't aware of what had taken place inside that hut last night, and if they were willing to interrupt; it had to be important.

"It's about Rin." Miroku's stern tone from outside caused Kagome's eyes to widen, concern for the girl overriding any frustration she might feel.

The normally jovial man's somber tenor also had a softening effect on Sesshoumaru's dick, pulling him harshly from the carefree, carnal dreamworld they had retreated into and back to reality where his substantial troubles were still waiting for him – right there, where he had left them.

Something between regret and apology marred his handsome features, and with resigned determination; he pulled away to get himself half-dressed. But the look in his eye as she scooted up to sit was more than clear. This wasn't over.

Unsure of where her clothing had gone; Kagome simply pulled the blanket up past her breasts while Sesshoumaru crossed to open the door.

She could see the monk over his shoulder as her would-be lover planted himself firm in the doorway, preventing access and attempting to shield her from the pervert's view as much as possible. The smooth, broad expanse of his naked back was just begging to earn some claw marks to match her own.

His hakama hung low and loose off his powerful, stripeless hips, momentarily distracting her from their intruder.

"What happened?" the former inu demanded urgently. Kagome clutched her blanket tighter as she zeroed in anxiously on their conversation.

"She's fine," Miroku assured him, and she released a heavy breath of relief. That meant-

"Has he found the cure?" Sesshoumaru hadn't much experience with spells – such things are of no use to a powerful Daiyoukai. But Kagome had informed him that to break them, a gathering of ingredients was usually required. She just hoped that whatever it was, it wouldn't be too difficult to acquire.

But Miroku shook his head.

"The elder just told me he needed to speak with you. It sounded urgent."

With his mouth set in a firm line, Sesshoumaru gave a resigned nod.

"Very well."

As the former demon turned to look over his shoulder, Miroku's gaze lifted to the miko still sitting in her bed.

'Sorry,' the monk mouthed with a grimace, right before the door was shut in his face.

"I must see what this is about." Kagome watched him locate his shirt on the floor and hastily put in on. He sat on the bed to get into his boots, and she attempted to crawl out from under the covers.

"I'll come with y-"

" _No_." The stern command caught her off guard as he snapped his face in her direction. Her eyes were full of questions as he immediately softened, and ran his fingers through her disheveled bangs. "You need your rest," he insisted, locking her in a heated glare as he brought his face down to hers. "When I return, you are going to find yourself quite occupied." His suggestive vow held promise and threat alike, and she couldn't help but smile as he brought his warm lips to hers. "Do not leave."

He was still holding her cheek, still looming close as he waited for her to confirm her compliance. When she gave a sexy smile; his eyes dropped to watch her pull a swollen lip between her teeth.

"I'm not going anywhere," she assured him, and he appeared ravenous as she shifted forward to lean in closer. "I'll just wait here anxiously for you to come back and occupy me."

She fell forward to take her kiss, but soon found herself guided to lay on her back once more. As she clawed at his hair; he allowed his hands to roam all over her body, rubbing them across her hips and her breasts, making her moan and moisten.

She cried out when he gave her nipple a rough pinch, but pouted and whined when he finally stood and made his way to the door.

No words were needed as he flashed her one last longing look, and left.

* * *

The large common area in the center of the village held decades upon centuries of scrolls. Accounts, records, and information alike filled the library-esque structure from floor to ceiling, and wall to wall.

All around the room; piles of parchment were strategically separated, strewn about and cast aside in what Sesshoumaru could only hope to be some coherent method of madness.

Near the back of the room was a modest desk, piled high itself with scrolls. Several had spilled off the side to the floor around it, while others teetered precariously on the edge looking to join them down below.

At the desk sat Dachi. The second Sesshoumaru walked in; he earned the man's gaze for all of one second, before he turned his attention back to the unrolled paper in his hand.

Pushing aside his annoyance; the former youkai strode confidently forward and made to stand before him.

"Have you found a way to break the spell?" he demanded, but by the way the elder was still frantically scouring his records; Sesshoumaru was not optimistic.

"Not yet," he confirmed. "but I saw an eagle youkai flying northbound, over the canyon."

When he said nothing more, the Western Lord narrowed his gaze.

"I assume this has significance?"

Sensing his irritation; Daichi abandoned his task momentarily to give the impatient man his full regard.

"Yes. I recall as a boy; my grandfather initiated a hunt. Half a dozen of the village's most capable hunters set off on a mission to track down an eagle. They needed his blood to help make an elixir. That elixir cured a spell that forced humans to sleep."

It wasn't the cure, but it sounded promising. He allowed the man to continue.

"I must still find the list of ingredients," Daichi informed him, picking up another scroll, "but I now remember one of them will be the blood of an eagle youkai. They are not easily found, so while I look for the scroll; you would do well to follow him into the canyon."

Sesshoumaru frowned. This could take some time, and in the end; he was putting all of his faith and energy into entertaining an old man's vague memory. Could he trust him? Did he have a choice?

"They are wily, elusive creatures, not easily caught," he imparted further. "You may wish to enlist the aid of your half demon companion. It took those six men weeks to track him down when I was a boy."

No, he didn't have a choice. This was their only lead so far, and Rin couldn't wake up until they had all the ingredients for the elixir. Though there were things he would much rather be doing at the moment, Rin was his first priority. For Daichi's sake; he better hope his account is accurate.

"I shall leave at once," Sesshoumaru informed him with a resolute nod. "Give any further information to the monk in my absence. You must find that scroll."

"Yes, my lord."

He was halfway out of the room when the elder's distracted voice reached his ears.

"How is she?"

Sesshoumaru froze, but didn't turn around.

"The little girl," Daichi clarified, not looking up from his search. "Is her sleep remaining peaceful? Have you noticed any strange sounds or movements?"

Guilt and anxiety caused every muscle and organ to tense in his tall frame. He had been doing quite well at distracting himself, but his negligence niggled at him constantly just beneath the surface. He was not ready yet.

"I have not seen anything," he answered softly, and before he got any more questions, he was gone.

* * *

Sesshoumaru entered his hut for the first time since coming back with Rin, and he couldn't remember the last time is body felt so heavy with trepidation. Perhaps it hadn't.

He never said he was going to relieve his brother of guard dog duty once he came back from his 'business,' but he was sure it was implied. And with his half-demon senses; Inuyasha surely knew exactly when he came back last night, and what he had been doing since his return.

But the bulk of his guilt stemmed from avoiding the small, sleeping girl he had worked so hard to retrieve. It just made it worse that the others probably thought his priorities were getting sorted out by his dick instead of his head, or heart. Not that their machinations operated in mutual exclusivity.

Still, he tried to keep his chin high as he entered his hut. For his part, his half-brother didn't seem too upset with him.

"So, you decided to stay behind last night."

He was impressed with the boy for keeping his mask and tone neutral. Aside from the barest hint of accusation; he could not discern what he was thinking.

Sango was there too, polishing her boomerang in the corner, and he gave her the briefest acknowledgement before reluctantly sliding his eyes to Rin sleeping soundly on his futon.

His heart clenched in his chest at the sight of her. Relief and joy at her presence were tempered quickly by guilt, and he returned his gaze passively to his brother lounging against the back wall.

"Inuyasha, we must go. An eagle youkai has flown into the canyon; we must collect his blood."

The mission would serve him as another distraction, and he figured if his brother wanted to hash anything out with him, he could do it during their hunt.

Daichi was right; eagles were a tricky catch even for accomplished youkai. In his human form; he had no chance in tracking one down alone.

"I thought I sensed one of those passing through." Sesshoumaru was grateful when Inuyasha pushed himself up from the wall to stand. "Tricky fucking bastards don't make it easy."

"You've hunted them before?" he asked, even more grateful still that the boy did not deem fit to blow his top over Kagome. Yet, anyhow.

"Once or twice. It's hard because they can see you coming from a mile away, and they fly really fast."

Yes, he was not looking forward to this particular chore. Worse yet; he doubted there was much he could do in capturing one, but this was his mission. Rin was his, and if there was a grueling hunt; he would not send others off to take on his unpleasant business on their own.

He became nervous when Inuyasha eyed him up and down before turning his back on him. Would he refuse after all? He couldn't say he wouldn't deserve it. But Rin didn't...

"You'll only slow me down." Without looking over his shoulder; he reached for Tetsusaiga and secured it in his waist. "We'll take Kirara and get him for you."

Surprise marred his features when Sango instantly rose. Without a word; she seemed to pick up on her lover's intent, and secured her own weapon as well.

"You and the slayer?"

"We make a good team," he boasted, flashing her a proud grin which she instantly returned. "We got our hunting game down pat."

He couldn't deny that in his current form; either one of them would make a more accomplished hunter than he. Add a flying fire cat to the mix, and his brother's claims were likely accurate. As much as pride wanted him to refuse; common sense told him to swallow his ego and obey.

"Very well," he agreed, straightening his spine stiffly. Then even more stiffly, he deigned, "Thank you, Inuyasha."

The younger of the two couldn't say he didn't relish the humbling concession just a little bit, but he graciously smirked instead of making a big deal about it.

"Keh, no problem."

Assuming Sesshoumaru would now assume his duties; the pair got ready to leave, leaving Rin in his care. When the ex-demon chanced another longing glance at his charge; his soft, distant voice caught them before they reached the door.

"How is she sleeping? Has she fared alright?"

Daichi's question reverberated in his skull, and the guilt that gnawed at his willful ignorance increased tenfold that he had to ask his little brother of her state. Sensing his distress, Inuyasha gentled.

"Yeah. She seems fine," he assured him, but his brother's somber gaze remained on his ward. "She's all yours."

And then, without another word, they left.

But as soon as they did, claustrophobia set in.

He instantly removed his gaze from the slumbering girl, and his chest constricted, making it difficult to breathe. The air was too thin; the room, too crowded, with just the two of them.

When he looked out the window to see the couple flying away on Kirara; he bolted.

He ran as fast as he could to the neighboring hut, and turned the tables by knocking frantically on Miroku's door.

Sesshoumaru declined the invitation to enter, but anxiously requested a favor. With the way he'd been disturbed that morning; the monk could do naught but comply.

"I apologize for the interruption," Miroku offered, as he prepared to leave for Sesshoumaru's hut. With the others on their eagle hunt; he'd been enlisted to watch over Rin.

'Another chore I have managed to shamefully delegate to another,' he thought with disdain.

But he shook his head.

"Nonsense. She is my duty. You were right to intrude."

Sesshoumaru was prepared to walk his helpful ally to his hut, but knowing eyes seemed to pick up on his tension, though misinterpreted its source.

"It sounds like they may be a while," he observed with an easy smile, then winked. "Why don't you go back and get some sleep? I'll wake you if anything comes up."

He hated the idea of anyone thinking he would shirk his duties to his ward to run off and indulge in carnal pleasures, but conceded the monk was at least half right. He was abandoning his post. And though his suspicions for why were incorrect; they were ones the lecher could wrap his head around, and empathize with.

Then again, they weren't _completely_ unwarranted.

Though he wasn't avoiding Rin to simply spend time with Kagome, it didn't mean that he wouldn't.

The reminder of the amorous woman waiting for him in her bed caused his blood to rush south, and had him even more anxious to flee the scene. He remembered the offer she had made right before the monk had appeared...

"Do not hesitate to inform me," he still insisted, but selfishly hoped the elder could wait until after he'd found his pleasure before discovering the lost scroll. Though he'd had a wonderful night, it had left him achingly unsatisfied.

"I won't," he assured him. And after some pervert ESP, he added, "And don't worry, I'll knock."

Another wink sent the former dog demon on his way none too slowly.

He distracted himself from his troubles and guilt on the short jog over to Kagome's hut by supplying his mind with all the things he wanted to do her. All the things he wanted her to do to him, and all they had already done.

Letting himself in; hungry eyes sought the miko on her mattress, and zeroed in for the kill.

He rushed to her side and called out her name... only to be met with silence.

Another moment of observation revealed that she was asleep. But instead of frustration; the sight melted away all of his tension – sexual, and otherwise.

The gentle snoring she emitted had endeared itself to him long ago. It was the sound of her peace, and comfort, and contentedness in his presence.

Ravenous eyes softened, and never once did the impulse to rouse her cross his newly soothed mind.

Her peacefulness relaxed him, and instead of disappointed; he found himself thankful for the warm, loose feeling coursing through him at her behest. He thought he needed to get laid, thought he wanted to.

He did, definitely, but he appreciated this even more. This was what he needed.

Crawling in beside her; he lifted the covers to arrange himself flush against her back, spooning her.

With a contented sigh; she melded to him, and he put a protective arm to drape across her stomach, holding her near.

When he kissed her exposed shoulder; she mumbled something in sleep talk, and he buried his nose in her hair.

Her comfort was his own. Her contentedness was his own. And with his mind mercifully blank; he drifted off to sleep, and hoped desperately that he would meet her there.

* * *

He vaguely registered the violent knocking at Kagome's door once again, but it wasn't until she untangled herself from his possessive hold that he managed to pry his eyelids open.

His reluctance punished him, because by the time his sight had focused; the young woman had already managed to locate her clothing, and don it before he could appreciate the show.

He pouted grumpily as she made her way to the door, but when she revealed the monk's excitable features; he sobered in an instant.

"He found the scroll!"

The information had the former demon hopping out of bed, thankfully still clothed from his excursion earlier that morning. He rushed to the door as the monk was welcomed in, and pressed the wrinkles from his attire in an attempt to appear presentable.

A list was produced for the Western Lord's inspection, and he snatched it eagerly out of the monk's hands while Kagome huddled close to read it too.

"He said he has most of these," Miroku informed him as the couple hungrily consumed the parchment. "Eagle blood is on the way. That just leaves boar's tusks, and then this list of herbs."

After filling Kagome in regarding Inuyasha and Sango's mission; she carefully studied herbs for anything she might recognize.

"The elder says you can find the boars on the other side of the forest," the monk continued to impart. "but they are powerful. I will aid you in tracking one, my lord, and perhaps Kagome-sama could locate these herbs."

It went without saying that the boars in question were youkai. It was well known that their tusks held healing properties often employed in witchcraft. Besides; in the Northern Lands, most wild game tended to be youkai. Regular animals just didn't stand a chance, and Darwin kind of weeded them out of the area.

Inuyasha and Sango were hands down their best hunters, and with them gone; it would fall to the rest of them to capture the boar. Miroku was not completely unskilled, but hunting was not his strong suit. When pressed, he could hold his own. Sesshoumaru was of course an accomplished predator, in his demon form. But as a human; it would be far from a cake walk to track and kill the stealthy boar.

"Kagome is proficient with a bow," he pointed out, catching the holy duo off guard. "Perhaps it would behoove us to allow her to catch the game."

Shock turned into admiration as Kagome recognized the compliment. He had faith in her abilities, and was suggesting she may even outperform him in making the kill. With her long-range weapon, it was difficult to deny.

An appreciative gaze relayed her gratitude, and Sesshoumaru couldn't help but quirk a warm smile down to her in return. The exchange caused something in Miroku's chest to flutter as well, and a pleasant moment passed between them in the midst of the chaos.

"Agreed," he offered kindly. "I am afraid, however, that I am unfamiliar with these herbs." He pointed to the list in his hand and flashed a suspicious glare. "Unless you know what to look for..."

Collecting herbs was a skill that could only be honed with experience. He didn't know the first thing about identifying plants, aside from recognizing the few he knew for sure would kill him. Without his demon nose; he assumed Sesshoumaru didn't either, but the ex-youkai had surprised him before.

However, the look on his face confirmed his suspicions. Kagome was the only one of them who could expedite this task quickly. And sure; they could help, but that boar was likely a two-man job. So unless the other couple returned soon, they would have to split up.

It was just too bad that Kagome was the best candidate for each mission. Looking down at her with reverence; Sesshoumaru shared in the sentiment.

"Hn. If only I could split you in two."

Kagome blushed, knowing what he meant, but also knowing there was no way the innuendo was lost on their fellow pervert. She didn't even have to look up to see his lecherous grin.

"I can find these," she declared, taking the list from his hand. "You boys go get that boar."

"You are certain?" Sesshoumaru asked, and she set her chin determinedly.

"Yes. These should be near the cliffs," she pointed to a spot on the list, "and these are anywhere magnolia trees are growing. If I haven't seen them, I at least will know where to look. I got this."

He was so overcome with gratitude at this woman's willingness to help him that he couldn't stop his features from softening as he took her in. But he loathed having to separate, and concern for her safety – and his part in endangering it – fought to undermine his faith in her capabilities. But he conquered it, reminding himself of her power, and newest acquisition.

"Very well," he conceded, grabbing her gently at her upper arms and looking seriously into her eyes. "You will bring your bow for protection. Please be careful."

He didn't hide his concern, nor water down his plea in front of the monk.

"You too."

Nor did he hide his affection, surprising all of them by bending low to take her lips in a passionate kiss.

She blushed when they parted, and she caught a glimpse of Miroku's grin.

"We will meet up back here," she insisted, forcing her breath back under control, "and then hopefully we can get Rin to wake up."

All they had to do was get these items, and the elder could make his elixir. If it worked, all this would finally be over.

"Who's going to watch her?" Miroku wondered, and they both looked to Sesshoumaru. With all of them out; it wasn't safe to leave her unguarded – even if the village had seen no danger so far. It wasn't worth the risk.

"I will enlist the elder to keep watch in our absence as he prepares the cure."

They didn't know the man all that well, but apparently Toran's endorsement was enough to earn Sesshoumaru's trust. Though, he didn't have much of a choice.

Daichi was working hard to help them, so that seemed to be good enough. They didn't know what he would do if anyone attacked, but the old man appeared to at least have resources.

And now that he found the scroll; all he could do was wait for them to fetch him the ingredients. Surely, he could handle babysitting as he prepared what he could of the elixir. All he had to do was watch the sleeping girl, and make sure nothing terrible happened.

So, after carrying Rin to the elder's home; the trio went their separate ways, off to what they all hoped would be their last mission before finally, _finally_ they could go home.

* * *

The last time Kagome had been gathering herbs like this, she accidently made the wish that turned Sesshoumaru into a human. It was so surreal to think about how that one, innocent, thoughtless utterance changed so many people's lives forever, and so substantially at that.

Sesshoumaru, Rin... and even her. If she hadn't made that wish; she would have never gotten to know Sesshoumaru so well, and now; she would never be the same. She couldn't decide if she was grateful, or devastated that she did. Couldn't decide if her wish was a blessing in disguise, or the curse it appeared to be.

And couldn't honestly say if she could go back and undo it, that she would. Would she give up her new relationship with Sesshoumaru to undo all the harm she caused? It was too early to say. She couldn't answer that until the consequences started rolling in. She had a feeling they'd only just begun.

Kagome was on her hands and knees, sifting desperately though the plant life near the open clearing, and she was beginning to lose hope.

Oh, she'd already found all the herbs and plants on her list. It wasn't easy, but after hours of searching possible locations; she had managed to collect every ingredient needed for Rin's elixir.

But this last one – it was for her.

It usually grew near bodies of water, so she'd followed the stream all the way down to the cliff's edge. But now; she could go no farther. It looked like she was going to have to give up.

Since she'd come all this way; she did a broad sweep for good measure, and when she found this clearing nearby; she thought she'd finally spotted it. But now, on closer inspection; these were not the plants which had the roots that could have possibly helped with her predicament. With a shriek of frustration; she pounded her fists on the ground, and sat back in defeat.

She'd wasted enough time as it was. She needed to get these herbs back to the elder so Rin could wake up. Hopefully, the others had been just as successful in their demon hunting expeditions. But still; she really wished she could have found that plant.

Though she'd done her best to remain focused, Sesshoumaru was never far from her mind. After last night; her brain had been in a whirl, making her heat and ache at the images it produced.

The things he'd done to her... She felt herself becoming wet just thinking about it.

It made their trouble that morning so much more aggravating.

She had been so uncertain about taking the plunge with him, due to the fact that she knew he would choose to leave her once he changed. But after her talk with Toran; she had been able to see things in a new light.

It was all so clear now, and as much as she hated it; she finally had to agree with his decision. If being with him as a full-time demon meant putting him, and the stability of his lands in danger; she wanted no part of it. She would never risk his life like that. She'd put him at risk enough as it was.

Maybe someday; things wouldn't be so contentious between their species, and then she would be happy to give it a try. But she wasn't deluded. She knew how her people regarded demons, and the feeling was more than mutual. No, it was idealistic to think that their races would find peace in her lifetime.

And seeing how there were no demons in the modern era, maybe not ever.

That didn't mean that right now, they couldn't take advantage of his transformation and enjoy each other while they had the chance. At least one good thing should come from this whole tragic episode.

But now - now that she was comfortable with that, and herself, and with him, and she was finally ready to do what her body has been screaming at her to do for a while now - he didn't fit. Not comfortably, anyway. The fates were so cruel. Maybe she should take it as a sign.

When she remembered that there was a root that could help women... relax in that regard, however, she thought she had the perfect opportunity to find it, while looking for herbs for Rin as well. But in yet another blow to her pathetic sex life; she was unable to find it anywhere.

'Damn, they're growing all over the damn place in Kaede's Village!' If only she'd had a little foresight.

Then again; she never in a million years would have predicted she'd become such a wanton mess. Sesshoumaru had that effect on her though.

For the millionth time in the hours since she'd left him; he consumed her thoughts yet again. His face and body were enough to set her nether regions aflame, but thinking about his head between her thighs... that mouth... that tongue! It made her ache in the worst way. Or was it the best?

Kami, she really needed to get laid.

Looking around to confirm she was alone; she finally decided to alleviate the pressure. If she couldn't find the root; she would need to take Sesshoumaru's advice, and get herself ready for him. Maybe with some practice; it wouldn't be so hard getting him in there.

A blast of reiki purified her fingers, and she slid her hand inside her panties. Inexperienced fingers slipped past dripping folds, and the sensation reminded her of the demon who'd touched her like this only hours ago. She groaned as his lustful features became clear in her mind's eye, and channeling his own clawless demon digits; she imitated the motions he'd used to take her to pleasure.

First one finger, then a second felt nothing like when he'd done it. But she thought of him - pretended it was him stroking her inner walls - and felt her pleasure mounting.

Her other hand joined in, rubbing her clit in the way she normally did when she touched herself. It was hard to pretend it was his perfect tongue, but she could feel herself building to something. As she got closer; she boldly entered a third finger, hoping to stretch herself out for him quickly so he could be with her soon. Maybe after a few more times; she would finally be ready for him, and then they could-

A strangled cry announced her release, and she rode it out to the end as she succumbed to her own touch in the middle of the clearing.

Before catching her breath, she stood; wiping the sweat from her brow and grabbing her basket of collected herbs. She was eager to leave the scene of the crime. Eager to help Rin. Eager to get back to him.

She returned to the elder's house to find him already working on his potion. She cast a sympathetic look at the slumbering little girl at his side, and surrendered the fruits of her little treasure hunt.

"Did you manage to find them all?" he asked, taking the basket from her and peering inside.

"That's all of them!" He had several ingredients surrounding his small work space, and he seemed to be preparing them as needed, and mixing them in a certain order.

"Wonderful!" His smile was genuine and infectious. If he was pleased, it meant things were going as planned. "I now have everything I need to make the elixir. I should have it ready within the hour, and I will give it to Rin immediately."

"The others are back already?" she asked in mild surprise. Not that she didn't have faith in their efficiency, it was just... nobody else was here. She thought at least Sesshoumaru would want to stay with her until the cure was made, or at least take her back to his hut.

But she supposed that Daichi needed to give her the cure anyhow. Probably best to do this all in-house, in this controlled environment. Not that it was terribly sophisticated compared to their rentals.

"Yes. Been back for some time now," he confirmed while lifting one of the herbs out and putting it on his table.

Kagome blushed. If she knew everyone was back already, she wouldn't have wasted so much time on... personal matters. At any rate; he didn't appear to be done with their ingredients yet, so no harm done.

"Oh. Well, I'm glad they didn't have any problems."

The old man looked up to cast her a friendly smile, and finally noticed the impressive new weapon she carried over her shoulder.

"That is a beautiful bow," he offered, leaning in for a closer look. "I have never seen one of such quality."

Seeing as he paused momentarily to gawk at it; she brandished her gift to show off a little.

"Yes, Sesshoumaru commissioned it for me."

"I can see that."

She wondered how he knew, but quickly remembered all of the symbols of his house carved in the wood. One shape in particular was a dead giveaway.

"Handsome dog, huh?" she preened, rubbing the replica of his true form. "And look; there's my name right there."

She pointed casually to the unfamiliar youkai alphabet, but Daichi shook his head.

"Ah, no," he corrected confidently. At her puzzled expression; he pointed to the same alphabet, but toward the top of the bow, not the bottom where she had pointed. "Your name is up here. That is his name."

"What?" she demanded, looking from him to the bow once more.

But his easy smile never faltered. He pointed to the bottom half of the wood bow again.

"Yes, that there - that is how the Western Lord's name appears in his native language."

"You can read it?" she asked distantly, trying to discern why Sesshoumaru hadn't told her that, as she processed the new information in real time.

"Indeed," he replied proudly, and returned to his table of ingredients. He went back to work as he filled her in. "I've studied the texts of his kind since I was a boy. Can't speak it, of course. But I'd recognize that name anywhere."

Everything on that bow had been achingly personal, not just to her, but to the both of them together. She had an inkling why he had done it, but she still wished he would have said something. He was so secretive about his thoughtfulness. Almost as if he were ashamed of it.

"Does it say anything else?" she asked, holding the bow out to him again.

"No, just your names atop one another." Pausing for a moment, he gestured to a small cluster of markings near the middle of the bow. "Aside from this. This symbol is placed between words that are to be combined. As if, parts of a whole." When she looked confused; he shrugged, and returned to his work. "That is the best way I can explain it. It's a rough translation."

As he dove back into his cure; she took a moment to marvel at her bow with new eyes.

With a thank you, Kagome then left on a new mission: to find Sesshoumaru.

She was disappointed to find that he wasn't in her hut, but she wasn't terribly surprised. She wasn't expecting him to be stripped and waiting for her on a silver platter. That would have been nice, though.

She was officially keyed up. Sexual frustration hand her antsy, and memories had her eager.

But after learning from Daichi what her bow really said, she was determined. He had done so much for her, and she needed to do something for him.

She dropped off her bow, placing it down inside her hut with tender care, and embarked on her new search.

* * *

It was a relatively easy search; his hut was the first place she looked. When she boldly let herself inside without so much as a knock or announcement; she was a bit annoyed to find that he wasn't alone. But she pushed the feeling down.

"Oh, hi Miroku."

She zeroed in on the meditating former dog demon who cracked an eye the second she entered, and started making her way over.

"Kagome-sama! How was your mission? Fruitful?"

She cast the briefest of glances over to the other man whose mediation she was apparently interrupting, but quickly returned her attention to Sesshoumaru as he wore an almost imperceptible smile.

"Yep, got em all," she responded, and took a seat on her knees beside him on the mat. "I just dropped them off with the elder. He says it will be ready in an hour."

With her addition; Sesshoumaru broke pose, opened his eyes and gave the woman his full attention. Something about the way she was gazing at him was alluring, and deserving of scrutiny. She was trying to tell him something with her eyes, and he found it impossible to look away.

"Wonderful. Our hunting trip was a rousing success as well."

"That's great," she replied, but did not deign to look over at him this time. Her intense, almost scandalous glare had Sesshoumaru feeling violated in the most marvelous way.

As he returned the heated glare with great interest; Miroku continued to talk, completely oblivious to the blatant eye-fucking going on right in front of him.

"Yes. You should have seen him," he gushed instead. "There is no doubting this man has the heart of a dog demon, the way he stalks his prey."

Oh, she wouldn't doubt it. He was stealthy, and patient. He'd been circling her for a while now, and he had her right where she assumed he wanted her. All she could think in that moment was how a dog demon might position her when he went in for the kill...

But she didn't say that out loud.

"Oh yeah?" she said instead, never removing her hazy blue eyes from the predator before her. She knew how distant and uninterested she must sound by the smirk her almost-lover produced in response.

But for a lecher; Miroku was being pretty oblivious to the obvious lust signals emitting from her in thick waves.

"Indeed. Listen to this; he spotted a boar feeding right on the edge of a huge cliff..."

But Sesshoumaru was not so clueless. He had a keen eye for her wordless communications, and it helped that he was always on the lookout for any signs of desire the miko may be sending. It helped further that he had spent the entire night up close and personal with his demon senses focused squarely on her, so he had become fairly proficient in reading her wants and needs.

"… cutting him off. That's when Sesshoumaru-sama started heading for the creek..."

The eye language would be enough to tell him what she was thinking, but his gaze was instantly drawn to her mouth. Opened slightly; she produced the tip of her tongue just enough to drag slowly across her lower lip, with a pass along the upper soon to follow. With her back to the chatty monk; the erotic display was meant only for him.

"… didn't see us, so we got down on our bellies..."

His heated gaze darkened, becoming hooded as he pictured what he wanted her to do with that tongue. She smiled when he wetted his own lips in response – likely a subconscious act – and noticed his hands clench impotently against his knees.

She wanted to know what he was thinking, what he was picturing. She needed to know. She couldn't wait any longer.

"… quiet as a mouse, so he took his big spear and-"

"Miroku?" she ventured pleasantly, still not looking his way. Still not breaking Sesshoumaru's hungry gaze.

"Yes?" he innocently inquired.

Her breathing was becoming heavier.

"Get out."

Eyes flew wide in momentary shock and realization. She couldn't see his sheepish grin as he shifted to stand, because she was too focused on the smug amusement emanating off the Western Lord before her.

"Yes, I think I hear Inuyasha calling me anyway."

He hardly had the door closed behind him when Kagome pounced, throwing herself into Sesshoumaru and nearly knocking him on his back. But he quickly corrected, catching her in his arms and holding her body against him as her lips found his in a desperate, shameless assault.

She was all tongue and teeth as he fought with lips and hands, taking pride in the grunts she elicited as she tugged his bottom lip between hers and _sucked_. She straddled him, relishing the leverage as she attacked from above, cradling his jaw in both hands as his slowly but harshly traveled up her back until finding purchase in her hair.

They were both panting heavily as she ground into his lap, and instantly felt the desire so substantial they couldn't get it to fit.

That was a shame, and a reason she was so frustrated today. But that wasn't going to stop her from expressing her own desire. She vowed to find a way.

They both needed air, so she finally pulled back. Chests rose and fell as they gasped greedily for breath, and she loved how he pulled himself closer, hugging her, and rubbing her back while he rested his ear between her breasts. She could feel her heart thundering against him.

"Daichi was admiring my bow," she told him huskily, rolling her hips again slightly.

"Oh?" He managed to stifle a groan, but his voice was noticeably rough.

"Yeah. He said he recognized your name beneath mine. Why didn't you tell me?"

Pulling away to look up at her; he did not relinquish his hold, so his chin propped against her chest as she gazed down at him lovingly.

"You did not ask," he simply informed her, and she used both hands to comb back his hair, smoothing out the mess she'd made of it.

"I like that way better than a last name."

She remembered their conversation by the campfire when they were lost in the Northern Mountains. Right before they got captured; they found him an alias and made a date to go hunting. They talked about fathers and fires and shared a sweet kiss. Mountain lizard and campfire; she would never forget it.

"Yes?" he asked hopefully, and she smiled back, rolling her hips harder as he began to buck in response. She was still holding his head.

"Yes. And you even gave me top billing."

"It is your gift," he reasoned gruffly, and grabbed her by the hips. "But you must admit, it has a ring to it."

His generosity and thoughtfulness was such an incredible turn on. Add to it the humble secrecy, and she couldn't restrain herself. He had something good coming to him, and it was long overdue.

Forcing herself forward; she redistributed her weight as she leaned her body into his, encouraging him to topple backward while bringing her with him. He didn't seem to mind the displacement, keeping his hands on her hips while hers splayed flat on his chest. With a push; she propped herself up on them to hover above.

"You like having me on top of you?" she asked saucily, but faltered when she got a good up-close look into his eyes.

Something was off again. She couldn't say what.

It wasn't the first time she had seen that far off glaze. Several times since he had returned from finding Rin – throughout their passionate night together - she noted how distant, and spacey he became. He was still fully capable of performing unbelievable feats, but his normally intense, always hyper-focused stare had a zoned-out quality that was distractingly out of character.

It almost looked like he was on auto pilot, like his mind was somewhere else. She hated to think he was becoming detached during their intimacy, whether intentional or not.

Insecurities had her worrying it was because she was human, and a part of him still did not condone the union, but she pushed those thoughts aside. There was another, more likely reason for space cadet Sesshoumaru, and it had nothing to do with her, or what they were doing.

"Are you okay?" she asked with empathy, features showing concern. "Is it Rin?"

The question seemed to snap him out of it, but though his momentary lapse was corrected; his eyes were not. They were focused on her once again, so why did they look so distant?

"I apologize," he offered guiltily, and he quickly made to atone. "Would you like me to pleasure you again?"

He cradled her head to pull her neck to his lips, at the same time slipping his hand under her shirt. He only just grabbed a handful of her lush breast when she pulled away and shook her head.

"No. I want you to lay back, and relax."

Before he could protest, she stole his lips in another kiss. Scooting down his body; she began sucking at his throat before continuing to slide backward.

He was aware of what she intended by the time she reached for his obi, and got up on his elbows as she opened his shirt at the waist.

"Miko-"

"Shh. I know you're going through a lot right now." He wanted to argue, but when she started undoing the ties of his hakama, instinct forced his tongue to stay still. So he just watched her. "I'm going to help take your mind off your troubles for little bit, okay?"

She flashed him a smile as she fussed with his clothing. He considered helping her, but her determination gave him pause.

Finally; she got it, and pulled his pants down past his hips.

"Thanks to your ambitious mouth," she continued superiorly, "I've racked up quite a debt that I need to pay back immediately. It's only fair."

He smiled, recalling her previous notions of 'payback,' and 'making them even.' It wasn't that he didn't appreciate it, he just didn't like the idea of her performing on him out of necessity, or some sort of dutiful chore.

"You needn't concern yourself with evening scores," he rumbled smoothly, causing her to pause and look up into his kind eyes and gentle smile. "I do not keep tallies, nor do I expect reciprocation for every act I perform. Simply grant your favor to me when you are so inclined." His smirk became devious. "I will make it my duty to ensure you are inclined as often as possible."

She was tempted to go in for another kiss. Those taunting lips called to her, coaxing her near. But instead; she remained to focus on removing his undergarment. As she began; she deigned a coy smile.

"You already have," she insisted. "I find myself _very_ inclined." Her gaze became lusty, and he fought with whether to keep looking up at it, or down to his hips' quickly diminishing state of dress. He felt the cool air biting his newly exposed skin. "In fact, while looking for herbs," she continued, lowering her voice to a sexy tone, "I couldn't stop thinking about last night, and found myself _so_ inclined that I had to pause my important search to relieve the throbbing tension you inspired." His eyes cut back up to hers. "That's what took me so long."

Just the thought of her needy and alone, touching herself and thinking about him made his already hard cock stiffen to a painful degree. It was arousing, but also maddening. He wanted to be the one to take care of her needs. And the fact that she was like that because he couldn't pleasure her this morning – not with his cock at least – filled him with the most ironic sense of inadequacy.

But before he could wallow too deeply; she finally managed to free him from the last scrap of cloth keeping him from her view. His groan was unrestrained when she took him proudly in her grasp, and he slammed his eyes shut as she gave him a good stroke.

"See; my chores are suffering as a result of my inclinations, so we need to be sure I take care of them as soon as they _arise_."

Finally giving in; he relaxed his arms, allowing him to fall flat on his back. She continued to stroke him as she got herself into position. She was hovering over his waist from her place between his legs, and he managed to crack an eyelid as he folded his arm behind his head.

"So, instead of trying to talk yourself out of your due; why don't you shut up and enjoy yourself."

Wrapping her lips around his impossible girth was no easy feat, but she did have more success than she achieved earlier that morning. A sharp release of heavy breath stormed past his lips as she formed a shallow seal around the head of his cock.

He tasted nothing like she imagined, but she couldn't say she was disappointed. Clean and smooth and warm; she enjoyed the new sensation of him resting between her lips. She ran her curious tongue all over its expanse, swirling at first to explore every portion of his engorged head, until finally swiping across his tip to taste the ejaculate that had already accumulated there.

It was salty, but not bitter, and she found the tang of his natural taste compelling. That was what his pleasure tasted like, and she found it very gratifying.

"Fuck, woman."

She hummed in response, letting the vibrations transfer to his sensitive flesh before making another pass with the wide top of her tongue. When she chanced a look; she saw half-lidded eyes gazing down at her with uncontainable lust, and she closed her lips tight as she pulled herself away.

He actually whimpered at the loss of her heat, but she still held his shaft in her hand as she slid her tongue over her lips.

"You taste so good," she whispered, before lowering her eyes back down to his straining erection, and placing her mouth softly around his tip once more. Spreading her lips; she unhinged her jaw and endeavored to take him deeper.

"You are amazing," he gasped, watching himself disappear into the warm, welcoming cavern she provided. "For as long as I live- _Gn_... I will want nobody but you. _Hahh_... You have utterly ruined me."

When she closed her lips to form a tight seal; she retreated back up his cock with much firmer pressure than before. Another strangled noise was her reward, and when she looked up with her mouth full; she saw his eyes slammed shut as he tilted his head towards the ceiling.

His lips parted, but he made no sound as she slowly pulled back until he was outside of her again.

He was actually twitching as he tried to contain himself.

"Well, then. I guess we're even."

He wanted to look at her; he knew she was quite a sight. But he vowed to allowed this woman to do as she wished with him. Taking in her permissive features in that moment might see to him being much more insistent and aggressive with her than he wished to be.

He wasn't even halfway in when he bottomed out in her throat, but he wasn't complaining.

He in no way expected the inexperienced miko to have the knowledge or ability to take him all the way down, but he could tell through his lustful haze that she was becoming discouraged. She tried to force more of him in, stretching herself around him and loosening her muscles as he felt himself repeatedly slide past her tonsils to hit the back of her esophagus. But at a certain point; she could take him no further, and the choking and gagging sounds as she pushed herself were starting to concern him.

She was still gripping him tight near the base when she wrenched herself off of him and huffed in frustration.

"I can't get it all in." From her tone; he could tell she took it as a personal failure, as if she was somehow inadequate. And he knew he should reassure the insecure virgin, but a short, soft laugh was all that came out.

"It doesn't matter," he said with a smile, eyes still closed towards the ceiling. But that didn't seem to mollify her.

"I'm sorry." Hearing her disappointment; his smile fell away, and he jolted back up onto his elbows.

His haori was still hanging off his shoulders, but its unfastened state left his perfect torso deliciously exposed. His hair was ruffled up from her previous treatment, giving him the appearance of bedhead – especially accompanied with his half-lidded gaze.

She lowered herself back down as he offered his request. Normally; he would ask her for nothing, but she needed a little encouragement.

"Just focus on the tip," he managed to rasp. "That is all I am concerned with."

Her mouth was already full of him when she acknowledged him with her eyes, and just as requested; she pulled him out enough so that only the head of his cock was inside her. With the extra space, she was able to maneuver her tongue more gymnastically, faster and with firmer pressure. The result had his head tilting way back while still up on his elbows, exposing the full column of his throat to her. From that angle, she could see the dramatic rise and fall of his sturdy, naked chest, and she noticed how his previously clenched fists flew wide open, fingers spreading apart helplessly.

She sucked on him harder, moved her tongue faster around him as she held him up by the base. His voice was unfamiliar when he spoke next, lifting his head back upright but eyes were still closed tight.

"Stroke the rest," sounded choppy as he tried to speak in even tones. Hating how demanding he sounded, he added, "if you desire."

It was meant as a plea, after all. He just didn't have the capacity for courtesy at the moment.

She didn't seem offended. For right after he said it; she closed her fist around him more firmly and began rhythmically sliding up and down his shaft. She was still lavishing attention on his swollen head, and soon began moving in time with her hand; going so far as to remove herself from him almost completely before descending down a few inches with each rough stroke.

Noises, some erotic combination of growls, grunts and groans were leaving his lips in a nonsensical flurry of appreciation, and she almost laughed when she stopped bobbing her head for a moment and he damn near snarled at her.

But he soon learned the reason for her retreat. Lowering her tongue to the underside of his cock; she gave a long lick from the base all the way to the tip in one slow pass. For the next; she cocked her head to the side to seal her lips beneath him, and repeated the previous path like she was playing a harmonica.

Once he was sufficiently wet and spitty; she resumed sucking his cock like she was before, but now her pumping fist was sliding much more smoothly along the length of his shaft.

She could feel his pulse rate increasing through the throbbing veins in her mouth, and she marveled at the sensation when she pressed hard on it with her tongue.

When she heard him laughing above her; Kagome pulled him out of her mouth, but didn't stop stroking him.

"Ticklish?" she couldn't help but ask.

He was flat on his back again, with his arm folded behind his head the same way it was before. She could see that his eyes were closed, and combined with the contented smile on those dangerous lips of his made him look more genuinely happy and at peace than she had ever seen him before. She took pleasure in that.

"I was just thinking," he deigned breezily, "how unbalanced the world is. Surely there is nothing I have done to warrant earning you." Curiosity gave way to melancholy at his depressing assessment, and there were two reasons for that.

For one; it saddened her that he truly did not believe himself deserving of love and affection. Sure, sex and carnal enjoyment were things he was entitled to, in his mind. But in his view; a terrible warlord like him – regardless of redemptive behavior – was undeserving of kindness, or anything good. But he was. He had done so much for her alone; he was more than deserving of all she had to give him. She wished he knew that too.

The second - and most upsetting - was that he literally had no idea how much she personally did owe the man. She had wronged him worse than any other being had likely wronged him – committed the most egregious offense. There would never be enough she could do for him - not that it was the reason she was doing this.

And to make it worse; he thought she was some perfect, selfless entity. Like she was too good to concern herself with demons like him. Little did he know, that it was she who was undeserving of _his_ kindness. He felt like he had to do so much to be worthy her, but he'd already done more than enough.

Would it always be this way? Would it always feel so terrible?

Was she forced to carry this terrible secret alone for the rest of her days?

When he was gone, would she still be hurting him?

Maybe when he was demon again, she should tell him. At least then; he wouldn't have to be miserable for the rest of his life. He could hate her, instead of missing her. She owed him that much. It was something to consider.

"You are far better than I deserve, Kagome," she looked up to see his eyes now upon her, so kind and soft that it cut her to the core. "It simply does not seem fair for me to have you."

"Believe me," she told him softly, and tried to keep the somberness out of her tone, "you have more than earned it."

He moaned when she dipped down to take him in her mouth again, and commenced stroking and sucking him at a much more fervent pace. It was as if she was trying to offer her apology with her mouth and her hands, because she was too much a coward to do it with words. But it would never be enough.

But at least she could make him feel good for a moment. At least for a moment; his mound of troubles was forgotten. It was so insufficient, but all she could do.

" _Kagome_..."

She recognized the warning in his tone, so she sped her pace even faster. He seemed surprised, as if he expected her to move away, but he certainly wouldn't complain as she milked him into her waiting mouth.

He cried out softly when he finally came, and panted heavily as she continued to stroke him until he emptied himself completely. When he was done; he laid there breathing as she carefully abandoned his softening cock, trying to take the mess with her as she left.

She didn't say anything, so once he caught his breath; he propped himself on his elbows again to make sure she was okay. His contented, half-lidded gaze fell upon her just in time to see her spitting into one of the sake glasses they were drinking from the night before.

He watched the substantial load of his cum fill the empty glass with a morbid sense of pride. It had been a while, and she did make him very excited. He'd been saving that one up for some time.

"I'm sorry."

Another ridiculous apology tore his attention away from his seed, and he looked at her curiously.

"What possibly for?"

He was going to sit up with her, but she began making herself comfortable at his side; so he remained laying down, and wrapped his arms around her as she rested her head on his chest.

"Guys want you to swallow it."

Looking down at the crown of her head; he decided against asking where she'd learned such a thing, while at the same time trying to discern if her statement was true. He'd never given it any thought, but after taking a moment to do just that; he offered his honest reply.

"Once it is in your mouth, I do not care what you do with it, miko."

She cuddled closer, but wasn't looking when he cast a wary glance her way. "And even if I did, why concern yourself? You should do as you please."

Looking up at his earnest features, she smiled shyly.

"Just because you came, it doesn't mean I'm done pleasing you. At least, I don't want to be."

She wasn't uncomfortable when he just looked down at her thoughtfully, because the tenderness in his sated eyes told her all she needed to know.

"I am pleased when you are pleased," he finally told her softly. It made her smile, because she knew it was the truth, and the implications of that lifted her spirits greatly.

"Then you must be a pretty happy guy when we're together."

That thoughtful, considering gaze again appraised her gently, but was not the reason for the sheepish look he received.

"That was my first time."

"I am aware." She couldn't tell if he was amused or not, but she couldn't hide her insecurity. She at least felt comfortable enough with him to voice it.

"Was it that obvious? I mean; did I do it okay?"

It was obvious to her that he'd done oral stuff a lot, and she worried the mismatching experience levels did not work in his favor.

He looked like he was trying to discern whether or not she was serious. In the end, he decided it was safe to let his amusement show, which he did with the subtle quirking at the corners of his mouth.

"In case I was not obvious," he rumbled drolly, "I thoroughly enjoyed myself. You were perfect." His gentle assurances were followed by a chaste kiss on her sweaty forehead. The warmth and security of his lips and his hold had her nestling closer to him.

"Any notes? For next time?"

Another short laugh escaped him, and he looked back down at her. Was she serious? She had to be fucking with him, right? Just to be safe, he answered honestly again.

"No. Do not change a thing."

Considering her a moment; his small smile never left him.

"And me?" She pulled back enough to meet his eyes while his arm around her rubbed soothing patterns in her skin. "Is there anything you would like me to do differently?"

The question seemed to cure her shy countenance, and with a grin; she propped herself on one elbow.

"Nope. You receive oral very well."

"Excellent." His smile was less subtle now as he removed his gaze from her. "Except, next time..."

"Yes?" She was all ears as she eagerly waited for his criticism. He cut his eyes her way.

"When will that be?"

"I don't know," she answered indignantly, but burst into giggles as he pulled her on top of him, chest to chest.

"Ten minutes? An hour?" Her attempts to retreat only saw him squeezing her tighter. "I can be very flexible; my schedule is wide open."

"Yeah, you better get your fill," she told him and finally stopped struggling. "That's gonna change when you get back to the West."

Stifled by reality once again; he relaxed his hold, but she made no move to escape.

"You said you would visit," he reminded her, and she slid back down to lay beside him.

"Yeah, but I can't just hop on a train every time you want a blowjob."

It was a reasonable thing to surmise, but he did think about it a moment. He was a problem solver, after all.

"I will send Ah-Un."

She didn't know if the suggestion made her laugh, or the deadpanned delivery. Either way, she had the same answer.

"It's not sustainable."

When she saw him crack a smile; she cuddled deeper into his chest. He watched, inexplicably pleased to have her cling to him so tightly.

"You're right," he told the top of her head, still smiling as he eyed her cautiously. "You should just come with me."

When she responded with laughter; he felt a burning pain in his chest, but he kept his smile plastered, and tried again.

"When I am ready to return West, would you come with me?"

He felt her freeze, and then she pried her cheek off of his firm chest to look him timidly in the eye.

"For a visit?"

"No." All mirth was gone from both their features as he locked her into a paralyzing gaze. "Come back with me. To stay."

His eyes roved all over, assessing everything about her. He may not be demon, but he could read her fear and trepidation easily enough.

"Unless my humanity is the only thing you find appealing."

It was what he had suspected all along; he was just waiting for her to confirm it. She basically did when she saw him transform. The fear and distrust of him was written all over her face, and despite protestations; he could see her remembering all the things he'd done... before.

Last night had been promising, and he congratulated himself for making strides in getting her assimilated. But frolicking around with him as a demon once a month was one thing; picking up and moving West to be with him full time was completely another.

From the look on her face; it did not appear to be appealing to her. It was disappointing, but not surprising.

"Thats not it," she insisted all the same. "It's just... you hate humans."

That excuse sounded weak to her own ears, and by his flat, hooded glare it appeared he felt the same.

"Things have-"

"Your people hate humans," was a more accurate excuse, and instead of arguing, he deflated just a bit. "I would only be causing trouble if I went with you."

Why was he doing this now? She was just coming to terms with the way of the world, and her place in it. Finally accepting the fleeting nature of their relationship enough to get intimate without getting too badly hurt, and now he wants to scramble up her emotions?

He knew she wanted to go with him, but now she knew why she couldn't. Now, she agreed that she shouldn't.

"Their opinions are of no consequence," he said haughtily. "If I wish you to be there, all must accept it. I assure you; no danger will befall you."

"I know," she insisted, but her confidence was not convincing. "I trust you. But..."

But the biggest danger was not for her, and it was not herself she was worried about.

But he interpreted her reluctance differently.

"You do not wish to remain by my side once I am demon again."

She could taste his disappointment, but it was that hint of resentment that made her blood simmer. He was the one who hated humans; she wasn't prejudiced. Last night should have told him that. If anyone deserved to be shamed, it was him.

But nobody deserved that, and she could tell it saddened him. She didn't like it either, and he was strong for her before. She would be strong in his moment of doubt.

"You said it yourself many, many times." He hated her patronizing, gentle tone. As if he was a child. He also hated how she wasn't wrong. "It would cause a lot of people a lot of trouble. Especially you. It's too dangerous." He didn't answer as she rubbed her palm soothingly across his chest, placating him. "Anyway, what would I do in the Western Lands? Besides you."

"Whatever you wish," he assured her hopefully. His expectant expression told her he still wasn't convinced, however.

"Look," she sighed. "We don't even know how to change you back yet. We don't even know if we can." She saw him frown before he moved to sit, and she followed suit. "It might be a long time before you get to go home. Let's just... enjoy the time we have, while we have it. Okay?"

She rubbed his back sympathetically, but the scowl he fixed her with told her he did not appreciate the concern.

"You have insisted that we will find a way at all costs," he bit out coldly. "I do not plan for failure. You seem quite inclined to."

Finally removing herself from him; she could no longer keep her irritation bottled up.

"Hey, this was what you've been suggesting all along," she reminded him testily. "Now that I finally understand and am willing to go along with this; you want to change your tune? Are you bound and determined to make this not work?"

"No, I want it to work at all costs," he assured her, still frowning. "I was a fool before. You were right."

"No, you were right. I was the fool." Seeing how upset he was becoming; she forced herself to calm down, and placed a comforting hand on his bicep. "Toran explained everything, and now I understand that-"

" _Toran_." The name was spat with such disdain it actually caused her to recoil. "You trust her judgement over mine?"

His sneer was so different from the loving, contented gaze he fixed her with just moments ago. She couldn't believe how strange he was acting.

"It was both your judgment until five minutes ago; she was just backing you up." Sizing him up and down, she raised an incredulous eyebrow. "Did it really only take one blowjob to get you to forget your convictions? You said I couldn't change your mind that way."

She all but begged him at the river to let her try and persuade him with her mouth, and he took his throbbing erection right out of her hand. Was it really just as easy as all that? Was his resolve slipping, or was she really just that good?

"She is trying to interfere," he tried desperately to convince her. "She wants This One for herself, she always has."

"I did not get that impression. She encouraged me to sleep with you."

The news did not seem to surprise him, and he grabbed her upper arms.

"She is crafty," he insisted. "She is devious. She wants to pit you against me so that I would mate her."

She dismissed him immediately with an indignant scoff.

"I think your ego is getting too big even for you." His scowl deepened, and he released her from his iron grasp. "Did she lie?" Kagome demanded. "Would my presence not cause problems in your lands, and put us both in danger? Do you want to end up like your father?"

They both knew the answer to all of those questions was no, so he didn't bother. Instead, he desperately and determinedly placed a hand at her cheek, and tried to use his gaze to hypnotize her into believing him. At least, that's what it seemed like to her.

"I can protect us," he fiercely insisted. He was begging her to believe him. "When I am demon again; I assure you that I will."

But begging wasn't his style, and it just looked so painfully wrong on him. Red flags were flying up everywhere, and it was making her really nervous.

"What's gotten into you?" she demanded, brow creasing in open assessment. "Ever since you got Rin back you've been acting really strange."

Now it was his turn to scoff indignantly.

"Oh, is it strange that I spent half the night with my face between your legs?"

"Actually, it kind of is," she answered honestly. Strange for him, though not at all terrible.

"You certainly weren't complaining."

Kagome scowled.

He was pulling his tricks again, but she wasn't going to let him distract her with semantics. She was on to something, and he was trying to divert her.

"You've hardly been to see Rin; you refuse to talk about her." Displeased at her observation; he moodily averted his gaze. "You stare into space even more than you used to, and now you're talking like this? I'm worried."

Seeing him be evasive was surreal. She gentled, and used her hand to force him to look at her again. There was just something wrong with his eyes, but she couldn't pinpoint it...

"Did something happen last night when you were out? Did those tigers you killed do something?"

Looking deep in his eyes; she saw his pupils dilate right before averting his gaze again, and she recalled their grinding session by the irori.

'That's two signs of deceit.' No wonder she didn't recognize him.

"That's it, isn't it?" He was aggressively avoiding her now, mouth set in a firm line. She grabbed the cloth spilling off his shoulders and pulled him into her. "What did they do to you? I can tell it was bad, please tell me. I want to help."

"There is nothing you can do," he finally said.

She released him, placing a palm on each cheek this time and gently coaxed him to look at her. His eyes went from glassy to now just looking... broken.

"Try me," she begged, and he finally met her gaze. He seemed to consider her plea a brief moment before removing his stare yet again. "Please; I want to understand. What did they do to you? Don't you trust me?"

Now he knew how it felt; he'd used that line on her a few times. When his shoulders slumped a fraction, she interpreted it as resignation. He slightly hung his head, and finally relented.

"Do you want to know why I was outside my territory when they found me?" he softly asked.

She nodded silently with wide eyes, and he sighed.

"Rin began her first bleed just days before she was taken. That was why we were traversing the border when I was attacked; I was seeking out an ally for female assistance, as I am unequipped to handle such matters."

Well, she wasn't expecting that. Wide eyes grew wider.

Just how old was Rin, anyway? She couldn't be much more than 10 years old, but she didn't get her period until she was 12. Then again, she hadn't seen the girl in a while...

Shaking herself; she placed a tender hand on his shoulder.

"Why didn't you just come to me?"

He lifted his bowed head to crack an eyelid.

"You and I were not on friendly terms then."

Now, friendly wouldn't even _begin_ to describe their relationship.

"I still would have helped Rin," she gently informed him. He closed his eyes at the floor beneath him.

"It hardly matters now." His answering tone was defeated, and it set her nerves on edge.

She had a feeling there was more, so she quietly waited for him to continue.

"I transformed before we made it there, and when they attacked; I could not fend them off. And now I cannot bear to look upon her."

Confusion briefly crossed her features before his tortured countenance appeared and had the voice to match. She got a quick glance at troubled violet eyes before they slammed shut in apparent anguish. He grit his teeth, as if trying to distract himself with pain.

"I cannot look at her, knowing..." She became frightened as she watched him fumble, mind obviously in disarray. "She trusted me to protect her, and I could not. She is there, like _that,"_ he sneered disdainfully, and her mind easily supplied the missing fangs. _"_ because of me. Because of my failure."

Horror encroached upon her features as realization settled in. His voice was measured and calm by most people's standards, but she could tell he was just holding on by a thread. What would happen if it broke, she had no idea.

"I fear what will happen when she awakes," he shamefully confessed. "What she will remember. What she will see when she looks at This One."

It all made sense now. She had been so stupid.

She knew he blamed himself for Rin getting taken. She thought he would be relieved to get her back, but he'd just been beating himself up. Without her awake to prove she is okay; he was being tortured as he waited for her in limbo.

That was why he needed a distraction. That was why he wasn't with her right now. Until she woke up; he was going to tear himself up worrying about her. Add to that; he was worried when she came to, she would blame him as much as he blamed himself.

Well, hopefully this elixir worked; soon they would know. And once Rin woke up and proved she was okay, and she still loved him; hopefully that would be all he needed to give himself a break.

He would probably always still hold this against himself, but hopefully; once he knew everything turned out alright, he could forgive himself.

"I saw the fear in your eyes when I transformed. If she looks at me like that..."

Guilt coursed through her veins as she remembered his transformation. If only she'd reacted better. She knew she had nothing to fear.

"And what's worse; she should." Shaking her head; Kagome rubbed the hand on his shoulder in an attempt to soothe him. He didn't appear to even feel it. He just kept looking at the floor, and grimacing. "I could not stop them; she should be furious that I did not. I am... ashamed."

When he turned to look at her; she was paralyzed by the self-deprecating display. She hadn't seen him this raw since the compound. This was even worse.

Inuyasha was right to be worried about his mental state.

"She should not have had to pay that price for my shortcomings. When she awakes; she will look at me knowing I could not protect her. That I cannot."

She couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed his face in both hands and forced him to look at her. He was looking right through her.

"She should not trust me, and neither should you." His eyes finally found her then, and all she could do was shake her head. "You are right. I do not..." She watched him struggle to communicate. With her hands still on his face, all she could do was disagree in silence. She couldn't find her voice.

"I felt compelled to prove something just now," he admitted, as if he only just realized it. "As if I could erase my failure with Rin by successfully protecting you from those who would certainly mean you harm. But to do so would only be putting you at risk. It is unacceptable."

Finally, his eyes became wide and intense, burning with a fire in stark contrast to the dull glaze held just moments before. He grabbed her face as she was holding his, and he looked straight in her eyes, demanding her to listen. "I apologize. You were right; you cannot trust me. I cannot protect you. Do _not_ forget that."

That was enough. She couldn't take him begging anymore. When she released his face; he released hers. She launched herself forward, and pulled him into a tight, frantic hug.

"Kami," she whispered distantly. "Why didn't you tell me? I had no idea you were going through all this."

He wasn't hugging back, as if he was in shock. When she finally pulled away; she still held his shoulders. She looked right into his eyes.

"Sesshoumaru. What happened to her is not your fault."

"All of this is my fault." The cold finality in his voice threw a shiver down her spine. When he was sure he had her attention, he kept her silent with his eyes. "All of it."

He was wrong! None of it was his fault. It was hers.

She needed to tell him. It was the only right thing to do. She should have done it sooner, but better late than never. She could release him from his torment and self-loathing by turning that loathing over to her.

It would be hard, but she had to do it. She cared about Sesshoumaru, and he was hurting. She was making him hurt.

If the roles were reversed, he would absolutely come clean. He would rather she hate him than herself.

If she loved him, she had to set him free.

Did she love him?

"Sesshoumaru..."

He was waiting, but she couldn't make words. How to begin? How to tell someone your wish changed them as a person? How to tell someone you ruined their life?

Her mouth opened, and she stammered. He seemed mildly concerned for her, at least enough to distract from his lament for a moment. But that wasn't good enough-

A loud banging on the door stole both of their attention. Inuyasha didn't wait for them to open, but he also was not about to barge in.

"Come to the elder's house!" he shouted from outside. "Rin's awake!"

Wide eyes returned to one another for a fraction of a second, before they scrambled to their feet and bolted out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your kind words! I hope you have been enjoying the smut so far. You guys have earned it XD


	31. The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my birthday post this year! I wasn't sure I'd have it ready in time, but... voila!
> 
> I began my very first fic right before my last b-day, and I can't believe it's been a year already.
> 
> It sure was a crazy one lol.

The elixir worked a lot faster than any of them had anticipated. It had barely passed her lips when groggy eyelids fluttered open, revealing a strange man in a strange house she did not recognize. If the unfamiliar surroundings startled her; Rin didn't let on. She couldn't mask her brief confusion from their assessing gazes, but they doubted she even attempted to.

If anything; the young lady seemed only to be relieved. The onlookers couldn't tell if that was because she recognized a few of the faces hovering over her futon, or simply because she was now aware that her captors were no more, and she was back in friendly territories. Probably both.

Inuyasha instantly rushed down the road to inform his brother of Daichi's success, while Miroku and Sango remained to offer assurances to the newly awakened, newly freed prisoner of war.

At the mention of his name was when the girl finally lit up, though something akin to worry flitted over her gentle features for just the briefest of moments. The former lovers thought nothing of it.

The spell had put her body on pause, and thus it had not been missing sustenance, but Daichi left to busy himself with getting her something to eat for comfort's sake. Whether it would be hers or his own remained uncertain.

When Inuyasha finally returned with his brother and Kagome; all three were panting raggedly from the full-on sprint they'd just endured. Staying true to form; Sesshoumaru's face remained passive. Stock still; he lingered just within the doorway with an almost unreadable expression.

The only relief he betrayed was in his eyes, as they took on a softening quality usually reserved only for her, and more recently; a certain miko who had endeared herself to him.

Kagome, however, was not so reserved. Wasting no time; she flew to the Rin's side, and kneeled beside the futon to throw her arms around the girl, and hugged her tightly. Tears of joy escaped the emotional woman, but Rin only responded by returning the hug in earnest; a subtle smile on her lips as she rested her chin on Kagome's shoulder.

Sesshoumaru wasn't prepared when he entered the room to find familiar brown eyes lucid and alert. Alive and awake. He didn't know if it was his lifetime of stoicism, or shock which allowed him to keep still; stiff and unflinching, despite the myriad of emotions roiling within.

There was a measure of relief in seeing with his own eyes that she was safe. With her consciousness reinstated; she had finally, officially returned to him. For that, he was certainly pleased. But once that was affirmed, the dread settled in his bones like a terminal illness.

This was the moment he'd agonized over; he still didn't know how he was going to handle it.

She hadn't landed her gaze upon him yet, but he could feel his chest tighten and his lungs begin to shrink as he mentally prepared himself for her dejected disappointment. Her hurt and mistrust. Her fear, perhaps. And most certainly; her pain.

Just looking at her was overwhelming. He couldn't explain it, and he blamed his human form somewhat, for it was an emotion he had never experienced once in all his centuries. But he forced his mind to blank as his body reacted naturally to being in the presence of the young girl he had failed.

"Rin!" the miko gushed, more than willing to make up for her emotionally stunted protector's lackluster reception. "Thank the kami; you're awake! We were so worried. How are you feeling?"

Her excitable questions were answered in time, and Sesshoumaru tried not to appear anxious as he allowed the reunion to play out. It was clear Rin hadn't noticed him yet, and he was by no means eager to alert her.

He simply waited for her to recognize him, and register him, and acknowledge him. The second she did; his posture straightened, and chin lifted, as if ready to accept his fate in the form of her judgement - whatever it may be.

The muscles in his face didn't move an iota, but he knew his eyes betrayed devastation when hers widened warily at the first sight of him.

She'd never looked at him like that. Reverent awe was all he had ever known from the little girl he took into his charge. He hated that he had taken it for granted. He hated that he'd reveled in it, and missed it, and needed it now that it was gone. He forced himself to hold her gaze, but all he wanted to do was retreat in shame. It was too much.

He could feel the air getting thinner, the room closing in on him. He feared he might not make it out in time. But just as his breathing began to shorten; the look was wiped away, and replaced with that old expression he knew and loved so well. It didn't cure him completely, but it did offer him a balm.

"Lord Sesshoumaru," she intoned, causing Kagome to release her from her embrace and look back over her shoulder at the still uncertain ex-demon looming near the doorway. He looked like he wanted the option to make a hasty retreat. For a second; she worried that he might.

She knew how hard this was for him, and with a sympathetic smile; she rose. She was about to go grab his hand and lead him over, but thankfully Sesshoumaru began drifting forward on his own accord. She was trying to instruct him with her eyes, but his remained locked on the girl sitting up in her bed, waiting impatiently for him to reach her. She looked like if he didn't soon; she would come to him.

He finally reached her side, and knelt slightly further away than Kagome had been. Appraising eyes roamed over her; assessing and looking for everything he needed to know, to assure himself of her safety, or maybe, her existence all together.

Rin, very used to her lord's distance, simply smiled and enjoyed him even this close. There was a long, silent moment that ensued. He was looking for something - whether it was injuries, or forgiveness or permission remained unclear. But they wouldn't get long to observe it, for it ended when he reached his long arm out to cradle her jaw in his hand. Perhaps a show of affection, perhaps to assure himself of her presence, most likely both. She closed her eyes as she leaned into the contact, and his fingers twitched in her hair.

Kagome watched the scene unfold, feeling her heart spill over. Happy tears had already begun to form, and were flowing freely at the long-awaited reunion finally taking place. Nobody said a word; it looked like she wasn't the only one who Sesshoumaru could speak to without speaking, and several things appeared to pass between the two as they continued to gaze into each other's eyes.

Rin's enjoyment appeared to temper as relief fell away, being replaced again by the wariness she wore upon first taking sight of her protector, and his heart clinched again. This was it. This was what he'd been fearing. But no matter how much he wanted to run; he would take it like a man. He had this coming. He deserved it.

He would let her say her piece before he tried to convince her she had nothing to fear from him. That even though he'd failed her, it wasn't because he did not care. That he would completely understand if she did not wish to stay with him, or even see him anymore. That now that he was human; he was of no use to her, nor anyone.

His blank façade was hard-kept, but well-practiced, and he watched her anxious young face take on a bewildered expression.

"Lord Sesshoumaru..." she repeated, crinkling her brow in obvious confusion. The address had him lifting his chin expectantly. "What happened to you?"

The others had almost forgotten that his human appearance was not normal, but her confusion still puzzled him, and he let it show.

"I became human," he stated simply, and then lifted a brow. "Do you not recall?"

After all, the change had occurred before the girl was taken from him. She had been there when he returned from a hunt, and...

"Human?" she repeated incredulously, as if confounded at the very notion. "How? When?"

With another dubious glare; he tried to make sense of her confusion. Perhaps the spell had an effect on her memories?

"Shortly before you were taken."

His answer seemed to do nothing for her bewilderment. Unsure how to proceed; he shifted his gaze down to Kagome who remained kneeling nearby.

"Rin, you were kidnapped by tiger youkai," the miko informed her cautiously. She cut her eyes back to Sesshoumaru for an instant, to find him regarding his ward with what looked like worried appraisal. Seeing that he had no objections; she continued her explanation. "We've been searching for you for nearly a month. They put you under a spell."

"Tiger youkai?" she repeated, earning a nod from the looming miko. "But I've never met a tiger before."

Another nervous glance was shared between he and Kagome.

"Rin, what is the last thing you remember?" As she averted her eyes and thought about it; Kagome was watching Sesshoumaru for a reaction, but he was giving little away. He just waited, with outstanding patience that just had to be deceptive.

"I... I was bleeding..." she finally recalled. "between my legs."

All un-privy parties widened their eyes at the confession, but only looked at one another while Rin returned her attention to her guardian. "When I told you; you said you were taking me to a woman over the border. I had never met her, but you said she would explain the ways of human women." Sesshoumaru listened intently as her memories unfolded before his eyes.

"It was snowing really bad," she continued. "and after a day of travel; you left me and Jaken-sama in a cave for shelter while you found something for me to eat. You said you would be right back, but you were taking a long time." After a pause, she hushly admitted, "That is the last thing I remember."

Kagome could see a million things rolling through Sesshoumaru's overactive brain. He had new information to process, analyze, and troubleshoot in real time, but she also got the feeling he was determining how much to tell the roused girl. He probably didn't want to overwhelm her.

"I did return to you." he informed her softly, finally pulling back his hand. He still remained somewhat at a distance. "When I returned, I was..." His throat became uncomfortably dry, but he didn't need to finish. "You were taken shortly after. You do not recall it?"

Shaking her head, Rin responded, "No."

He considered her a moment, and she finally asked, "Why did you become human?"

Kagome's muscles tensed. She could taste her bile rising as she watched his brows knit.

"I do not know," he bit out, just as furious as he was humiliated to offer such a phrase.

Another long, wordless moment passed inside Daichi's house, in which the tension and discomfort rolling off Rin became almost suffocating. To Kagome at least. She didn't know if the others could sense it. But with the new, troubling information; she couldn't blame her. The way Sesshoumaru was assessing her like a difficult math problem would certainly make Kagome uneasy, but she was sure Rin was accustomed to that.

Finally, it was the young girl to break the uneasy silence.

"Why was I bleeding?" The innocent question broke Sesshoumaru from his spell, and with a surprised expression quickly coming and going across his face; he stood.

"Perhaps Kagome would be willing to educate you," he volunteered, looking down at the miko in question. She recognized the plea, and stood as well.

"Of course." She flashed Rin a comforting smile. "We can talk privately later."

"You may have your privacy now," he countered instantly, then turned to the others in the room. "Leave them."

They certainly didn't need to be told twice, and everyone except he and Kagome made to exit the room.

"Right now?" Kagome asked him, and he deigned an apologetic glance. He knew he was putting her on the spot. But she _had_ offered...

"If that is alright." His gentle tone then adopted a frustrated edge. "She deserves answers, and I am frustratingly short on them at the moment."

Nodding dumbly; Kagome understood.

"Uh, sure. Yeah, of course."

With a thankful nod; he spared Rin one last glance before making for the exit himself. Her anxious voice stopped him, however.

"Are you coming back?"

His back was to her, and he didn't turn around to reply.

"If you wish it."

"Please, come back," she responded instantly.

He finally looked over his shoulder just enough to catch her pleading gaze. "Very well."

He continued to leave, but his escape was halted yet again.

"Sesshoumaru-sama..." This time, he couldn't resist turning around to face his rescued ward. He took in her shining, grateful features, and for some reason; it hurt even worse than the disappointment he was expecting. At least that he had prepared for. "Thank you for rescuing me again," she said with a kind smile. "You are my hero."

It took everything he had to keep his mask in place. To keep his tone even. To keep it together for her.

The month she was gone could not have possibly accelerated her growth as much as it appeared to him in that moment. He could have sworn that the last time he saw her; she was still that silly, gap-toothed child with a sloppy ponytail, picking flowers and singing songs. But when he looked at her now; he saw a young lady on the cusp of womanhood. He could deny it no longer.

She'd still been so young to him when she was taken. In fact, she hadn't aged a day in his eyes since the moment he revived her in that forest. Now, all at once; he was forced to accept the fact that Rin was no longer a child. Had he been so willfully blind, or was he just not paying attention? Neither answer pleased him.

What also didn't please him was how it would change everything. Things had to be different now, but that seemed to be happening a lot lately. Whether or not he chose to admit it; deep down he knew this day would always come. He despised that it took something like this to make him acknowledge it. Regardless, it would be acted upon.

"I am relieved you have returned," he managed to reply. His face was made of stone, but he held her eyes meaningfully, trying to relay what he could not say. "Your absence had me... quite distraught."

She gentled with obvious relief, and seemed to relax incredibly.

"Well, I am safe now," she gushed dreamily. "Thanks to you."

He couldn't stand her fawning features one more second. With the slightest nod; he turned back around, and rushed himself outside.

The cold winter air never tasted so good; never filled his lungs so completely as when he finally made it outside that room, and everything in it. The claustrophobic air – thin and stingy – threatened to suffocate him again the longer he remained. The bodies inside might be sparing, but all the baggage accompanying them assured he had no room to stand comfortably.

He gulped several large, greedy breaths to make up for those he'd lost, but still had the wits to scan his surroundings to ensure there were no witnesses to his plight. The others had gone – back to their huts, most likely – and the conversation he'd initiated back there ensured his presence would not only be undesired, but inappropriate as well.

He was more a coward than he'd ever thought possible, but he simply could not risk being with her right now. He still hadn't told a soul about his discovery, and the implications and ramifications were enough to make him go feral as it was. But every moment in Rin's presence exacerbated the frothing war raging within him, threatening to boil over to unprecedented ends.

The sight of her, the sound, the feel of her cheek in his palm; it was more than enough to incite his rabid instincts, and force them to the surface – demanding satisfaction, though it could never be achieved.

And he was not ready for that yet; none of them were. But he would have to do something soon. He just needed a minute to think.

Her missing memory was unexpected, and threw him for a loop. It added a new layer to things, and before he blew up his own spot; he needed to decide what to do with that information. He had yet to determine if this would be advantageous to manipulate in any way. At any rate, now that she was up; he was going to have to act fast. And the more time he spent in Rin's presence, the more danger he was in of losing his composure.

In fact, he could feel his blood boiling just thinking about it. He was very grateful to the miko for her aid at the moment, because he found when he pondered Rin's conundrum too long; he was in danger of becoming insatiably violent, or else wrought with inconsolable despair. Either way; he had to get out of there.

He had to force his mind to blank; he could not deal with this now. He had to get back to his hut, before he had an episode right out in the street. Before he knew it; his feet were taking him at a very brisk pace back to his room where he could be alone.

* * *

With the others gone; Kagome took a moment to revel in their success.

It worked! Rin was awake! It meant that their mission was over, and they could all go home. But at the moment; all she could think was how happy she was to have her young friend back.

"I'm so happy you're safe!" The miko's grin ran ear to ear. "We all missed you so much."

The budding adolescent offered a small smile in return, but said nothing. Kagome wasn't put off by her reticence one bit. She could only imagine how strange this must be for her.

"Lord Sesshoumaru was so worried, but he never gave up looking," Kagome supplied next. "He worked so hard to find you, but he knew he would. We all did."

She could see that Rin wasn't ready to talk, so she decided to cut the pleasantries short. She probably needed some time to adjust. Or maybe she was just eager for her explanation.

She certainly hadn't been expecting to have this talk today, and it wasn't like she had a lesson plan. But she wanted to help Rin, and Sesshoumaru too.

Gathering her thoughts; she adopted a more serious air.

"You must be very confused," she surmised. "You probably have a lot of questions. I'll try to answer them as best I can, okay?"

After a very technical introduction to the reproductive organs of the human female; Kagome had an incredibly intrigued, and curious student on her hands. She should have been irritated with Sesshoumaru for putting her on the spot like that, but she found she didn't mind it. She was happy to help, and Rin had so many earnest questions now that she finally had access to a real human woman. One who wasn't scared off at first sight of her protector.

Besides; she could tell he needed some air. After the post-blowjob revelations just a moment ago; it was clear that the guy had a lot bottled up. At least she had been able to relieve his tension in another way, but it seemed to only free him up to focus on his guilt and insecurities.

He was just overwhelmed. Hopefully after a moment to process, he would be able to calm down and enjoy his success.

Rin was back, awake, and just fine. She didn't love or admire him any less. She didn't blame him at all. All of his fears were unfounded. Hopefully he was realizing that right now, and he could finally cut himself some slack, and move on. He should be proud of himself for doing all that while only human. Well, mostly, anyway. But she wasn't going to push her luck. For the time being; she would be proud enough for the both of them.

Once all of the gory details were out of the way; the conversation took a natural turn to the reason for monthly cycles. And with that mystery solved; the questioning finally progressed to the mechanics of baby-making.

Kagome couldn't help but blush as she gave her first ever birds and bees talk. Shippo was male, and demon to boot. It was not her place to intrude – she assumed Inuyasha would tell him. But after considering it a little longer, she realized the task would more likely fall to Miroku – if it hadn't already.

Again; she felt like she should be mad at the former dog demon, but she was only flattered that he chose her to have such a monumental conversation with his most favorite person. It showed he trusted her. Not that she doubted that.

And Rin was so fun to educate. She was attentive, and surprisingly mature. She asked all the right questions, and didn't venture into any - extremely - uncomfortable territory. That was a relief, seeing as how it was hard for Kagome to speak of such things without dredging up the incredibly recent past.

Talking about sex only brought on images – extremely vivid images - of one person. The only set of reproductive organs she'd personally seen, and felt, and stimulated... aside from her own. She continued to chastise herself for thinking such things - _feeling_ such things - in the presence of the little girl... _young_ _woman_ now, she supposed was more accurate. But her guilt only escalated when she silently acknowledged that not long ago - as she slept - Kagome had her lips wrapped around the man this girl before her admired and adored above all else. A man she viewed just like a father. How would she feel if she knew? The miko was not at all ready to find out.

But now that Rin was privy to sex; there was really only one person that she knew of with such equipment. Kagome didn't know what Jaken was carrying, or if imps even had penises. Any time dwelling on that thought was far too much, in her opinion. And to be honest; Kagome didn't even know if Ah-Un was a male, or two males, or a couple... Komodo dragons could reproduce asexually; maybe it was something like that.

At any rate; Sesshoumaru was the man Rin would compare all of her suitors to. The measuring stick against whom all the men she ever met would be compared. In that moment; Kagome pitied them.

But where Sesshoumaru would have certainly taken a no-nonsense, completely technical and devastatingly blunt approach to Rin's education; Kagome was a romantic. So Rin got the fairy tale version.

"So, once a man and a woman fall in love; they have sex," Rin summarized cautiously. "And with sex, they make a baby."

"That's right!" Kagome was maybe a little too proud of her successful talk, or perhaps just pleased she would not be forced to over-explain anything to her. "That's how it's done. Now you know the big secret adults wait until you're older to tell."

She could tell by the slightly bemused look on her face that this was all a lot to take in, and hadn't been even remotely touched upon by her guardians until this very moment. But she figured if she made it sound like she was in some mature club, she might feel better about it. Kids always wanted to be treated like they were older. "That means you're a woman now. A young woman still - a very young woman - but definitively not a child."

But now that she knew; she had to ensure she didn't run off to try out her new information for herself. She had a couple of notable schoolmates who thought doing mature things made them mature. When in reality, it only proved the opposite to be true.

Besides, if Rin ran out looking for boys to mate with thanks to their little talk... She didn't know what he'd do, but it wouldn't be pretty. Kagome's excitement turned to seriousness in an instant.

"But just because you can make a baby, it doesn't mean you should," she made sure to stress. "I'm sure Sesshoumaru-sama wants to wait at least ten years before he has to give you away to some charming prince. So don't get too eager, missy."

She poked the girl in the chest with preemptive admonishment, eliciting a giggle.

"I won't," she assured her. "I want to stay with Sesshoumaru-sama for as long as I can. Maybe forever."

"Trust me; I know the feeling." Kagome's dreamy response caught Rin's attention. She'd also registered the blushing the miko had done several times at the mere mention of his name.

In that moment, Rin put several things together in her mind.

She may have been late to the game in learning about human reproduction, for which the blame could be placed at the feet of her male youkai entourage. But she knew about love. She'd never even been told about it, but she just knew.

She remembered her parents. Her parents were in love. Instinct and intuition allowed her to recognize the signs. Some of them were easy to pinpoint. Others... were hard to explain. But it was not difficult to identify. Not for her, anyway.

"Do you love Sesshoumaru-sama?"

The blunt, unexpected question tore the miko right from her most recent steamy flashback. Startled; she looked into Rin's eyes to see them determined, and dead serious.

She wanted the truth. And for the first time regarding this topic; Kagome could give it with confidence.

"Yes." Her answer came breathlessly.

But she didn't sound happy. It sounded like it pained her to admit such a thing. Rin couldn't understand, because she thought love was supposed to be wonderful and happy. Why was she scared?

"But you don't want to have a baby with him?" the innocent girl ventured, trying to peg her reluctance. "You don't want to have sex?"

"That isn't it," she assured her. 'That definitely isn't it.'

But she wasn't about to get into the case of Kagome H. vs The Western Lands/all relevant youkai. This was supposed to be a basic talk to educate and hopefully promote love. Her situation was not going to encourage romance.

"Does Sesshoumaru-sama love you back?"

Such an innocent question should not cut so deeply. She'd never allowed herself to entertain that thought, and instead had always been able to focus on other, more complicated aspects of their relationship.

As Rin waited for an answer, Kagome's insecurities ate her from within.

"He hasn't said it."

She felt a little silly expressing her very mature and most crippling relationship doubts to a little girl who only just learned about sex, but maybe that was why she felt so comfortable. Rin didn't have the wisdom or experience to call her foolish, but she also didn't have the filter to feed her platitudes.

"Of course he has." But of anything she could have said, that definitely wasn't what she was expecting. Certainly not so confidently. "Sesshoumaru-sama does not say things with words, but he says them. He is very clear about how he feels through his actions."

But to be fair, and the end of the day; who knew Sesshoumaru better than Rin? Even through a child's lens; her insight might actually be the most valuable, and accurate. Seeing her suspicion; Rin asked, "Do you think he loves me?"

Kagome softened, and answered honestly.

"Of course he does."

Rin smiled, but still offered a shrug.

"Well, he never told me. How do you know?"

Kagome understood her challenge, but still searched for the most honest answer she could find.

"Well," she began, cutting her eyes up and away. "humans tell each other."

She wasn't exactly sure how much Rin really knew about what was normal behavior for humans. She herself was probably the only human she'd had prolonged contact with since her family died a few years ago, and once she realized that; she pitied the poor girl.

"Have _you_ told him?" Rin countered, proving the folly in Kagome's logic. The miko fought the urge to flash an annoyed glare towards a child. "Maybe he does not know humans tell each other."

Most demons certainly didn't express themselves that way so blatantly. Almost none, in fact. It was often quite a confounding thing for them to grasp – those who even could.

But with his family history; she very much doubted Sesshoumaru ignorant.

"Or maybe he doesn't love me." That was another, more believable option.

"Maybe he is scared," Rin ventured, but to Kagome; that was far less plausible. She scoffed.

"Sesshoumaru doesn't get scared."

"Sure he does." Her grave assessment was a surprise, though not news to either of them. Deep down, Kagome knew her own statement was false as soon as she said it. "He isn't scared of death or war. But you should have seen the look on his face when they took me. He is terrified of losing the people he really cares about. He is scared of finally being alone."

Nothing Rin said was untrue, or hard for Kagome to believe. But one part of her statement struck her fiercely, and distracted her from the young girl's point. She folded her brow.

"I thought you didn't remember getting taken."

Rin's serious eyes widened. She had not yet learned how to mask her emotions as quickly as her idol, and Kagome had become quite an expert on deciphering such things.

"Rin. Have your memories returned to you?"

She faltered guiltily, and appeared to battle with herself for only a moment. She obviously did not wish to disclose something, but became resigned to the fact that she'd already admitted something.

"Some of them," she conceded, her gaze darting about before returning. "I remember being taken by tigers, but that is all."

She seemed a bit worried, but if Kagome was at all suspicious; it melted away in a second before showing her excitement.

"That's great news!" she declared. "Maybe, we can find a way to-"

"Stop trying to change the subject Kagome-sama." Her smile fell at the scolding she received. it was strange how legitimately reprimanded she felt. "You need to tell Sesshoumaru-sama that you love him. Then, you can make a baby for me to play with."

And then, with that childish outlook; Kagome relaxed a bit. She suddenly remembered that Rin was only a child - by modern standards at least - and though she had unrivaled insight in the subject of Sesshoumaru; she was still just a kid. Kagome felt her control returning.

"You might have to wait a little bit." She tried not to condescend. "I'm not ready quite yet."

Rin's still-earnest gaze didn't change when Kagome fixed her with a new smile.

"Okay, but when you're ready to have sex, you should make a baby with Sesshoumaru-sama."

Grinning wider; she reached over to tickle the girl like she had before. The mood was much lighter now.

"I'll think about it."

This seemed to please Rin enough, but only for a moment. That strange worry seemed to dominate her once again, and her countenance became very anxious.

"Will you please not tell Sesshoumaru-sama that my memories are returning?" At Kagome's look, she explained her request. "It is very confusing, and I do not wish to upset him. I am feeling overwhelmed myself."

She thought Sesshoumaru would be pleased to hear that Rin's memories had returned, and to be honest; she had been looking forward to telling him.

But Rin had been through a lot. If she needed time to process; she supposed she could keep her mouth shut for a little while.

She was already keeping one huge secret from him. What was one more?

* * *

Since Rin had awoken; Kagome's plans to clue Sesshoumaru in to her wish quickly disintegrated.

Now he could see that Rin was fine; she could tell him herself. That meant he could stop beating himself up and blaming himself for her kidnapping. By the skin of their teeth; they'd made it out of this thing unscathed. The miko had been saved by the bell.

Now that the mission was successful, and consequences seemed minimal – except the whole humanity curse – there really wasn't any reason for her to drive a wedge between them. But she would be there to support him, and help guide him through any lingering grief he might have.

Maybe he could try his hand at getting her ready for him again tonight...

But when she entered his hut; her hopes of picking up where they left off flew right out the window he was gazing out of.

Rin had been through a lot, but so had he. His mini breakdown earlier told her that he was not in the best headspace for what they had both been anticipating for the majority of this journey. Sure, now that Rin was awake; their mission was technically over. But instead of freeing them up for a lighthearted celebration; it appeared they were only just beginning the healing process. And from the look of him; it might very well take a while.

The wide window on the opposite side of the room was low enough for him to lean over, and that was pretty much what he was doing. With his back to her; clawless hands gripped the ledge, supporting a good portion of his weight, and the way his head hung slightly forward made his tense shoulders look that much more pronounced.

She couldn't tell if he was looking far off into distance – as he was wont to do – or the dirt ground below the sill. Either way; she knew he heard her let herself in, but it didn't seem she would be gifted his acknowledgement – at least not in the form of eye contact.

"Did you have the conversation?" he at least deigned to ask. His voice was cold and distant, in a way she was no longer accustomed to. It would have sounded just like he did before they... _before;_ if not for the subtle, yet glaringly obvious hints of pain that betrayed his ongoing torment.

But she didn't take it personally. He had been through so much, and she was going to be there for him, in whichever capacity he needed her to be. Kagome lifted her chin.

"We did," she confirmed. Taking just one cautious step forward; she stopped herself from rushing over to him. He came here to be alone, and she didn't want to bombard him right away. If he needed space, she would give it to him, but she hoped he would seek her out for physical comfort.

"And?"

He was neither sharp nor impatient, and she found it bothered her. She'd bemoaned in the past his curt, demanding demeanor, and she never thought she would miss it. But the softness in his tone was that of a broken man. It was the first time since losing his powers that Kagome actually thought he sounded powerless.

"She took it pretty well," she informed him optimistically. She hoped some good news would divert him from his misery. "Had a lot of questions, but I think she has a good grip on it. Wish I had a little time to prepare though."

She hoped he'd take the bait and indulge in some playful squabbling, but no dice. She could hear the window sill complaining when stressed beneath his wringing grip.

"Did she say anything... troubling?"

The smooth silk of his baritone almost distracted her from the strangeness of his question. After a moment; she surmised that he might be worried about how much graphic information she had imparted to his ward.

"Troubling? Like what?" When he didn't reply, she assumed she'd hit the mark, and gave the best answer she could. "You know what; I think it should remain between the two of us. Girl talk is sacred."

That was usually a good enough excuse to get the males to drop it, but she already knew that women's blood was not enough to scare him off. Or even turn him off. "I will just say that she understands where babies come from, and I was perfectly accurate, tactful, and cautionary, while not fearmongering. Anything else you want to know; you will have to ask her yourself."

She considered chancing another step forward, but at that moment; she saw his shoulders slacken just a bit, and he finally threw a weary – almost guilty – glance over his shoulder.

She saw that look in his eyes again; that distant, troubled look. But this time, he fixed it right at her. Paralyzing sadness in turbulent violet pools finally sought her, and she nearly forgot to breathe.

There was something she was sure she'd never seen there before. A desperate plea, that begged for more than simply comfort; more than soothing words or even a tempting distraction.

He needed something from her – assistance, answers... action. Anything.

He looked so helpless – a man without recourse, options, or a plan. He was tapped out. He had nothing left; nothing but her. And he needed her to help him, to make it all okay.

But apparently; she was just as useless as he was. She saw the instant he realized that, and he blinked, averting his eyes in defeat.

"I apologize," he offered lowly, and forced himself to meet her gaze again. "And I apologize for putting you in that position. Thank you."

He turned back around to face out the window, but she'd be surprised if he saw any further than the dirt on the ground below. If that, even.

She didn't know what he needed from her. If she did; it would already be his. She didn't know if he wanted anything she had to give, but she would give it nonetheless.

For now; that amounted to a glass half-full of whatever bitter sustenance they'd been given.

"No problem," she told him through a plastered smile. It was the voice she always used when trying to make the best of a bad situation. He likely recognized that tone; she had to use it a lot. "It was actually kind of fun. I've never given anyone _the talk_ before. Guess it's a night for firsts, huh?"

After all; things weren't really that bad. They certainly hadn't seemed that way earlier in this very hut. He was in a funk, but she would guide him through. Chancing another step forward; she tried to remind him.

"Since I'm on a roll," she intoned suggestively, "maybe we could try again..."

She was fairly disappointed when it garnered no reaction, and she deflated. Her chances at another intimate encounter tonight were looking more dire. He obviously needed more time to sort his head out. She felt a little guilty, and yes; slightly rejected.

"Sorry, you're clearly distraught." She shelved her hormones to try and comfort the poor guy. Her sympathy was genuine. "Are you okay?"

She'd been a fine distraction for him for the last day and night, but when Rin woke up, so did all the things his human self had been repressing.

Thoughts, emotions, feelings... were all likely very new to the ex-youkai warlord. He needed a better way to sort out his baggage, for sure.

She would help him, but for now; she decided to help by reminding him of all they had accomplished.

"I know things have been crazy, but you should be thrilled!" Her enthusiastic optimism was slightly less forced this time around. So was her smile. "She is fine, she's awake. And she doesn't blame you at all." Another tentative step closer had her almost halfway across the room. "She doesn't even remember getting captured! It's like this whole thing never-"

"Rin is with child."

Sesshoumaru's simple statement stopped the miko's chipper pep speech cold. Confusion waned, but did not disappear completely in the chilling seconds that followed. Fear-laced heartache trembled her hush voice for reasons her mind had yet to discern.

"What?"

"I scented it when I found her; that tiger's wretched stench fused with hers." Though his back remained turned; she could hear his sneer. And the groan of the sill beneath his hands seemed to celebrate the momentary absence of deadly claws. "She now carries a half-breed."

A mind blank with shock made deduction difficult and comprehension impossible. But Kagome still had questions.

"But how is that-"

"You just finished explaining it," he bit out angrily. She saw his eyelids opening as he turned to level her a harsh glare. Once it landed; he returned forward, softening his tone only slightly. "I know you are not ignorant."

She wasn't. But it couldn't be right. She'd just spoken to the girl at length about making babies, and there had been absolutely nothing to indicate anything like that had happened. Sure; she didn't have the superior senses of a daiyoukai, but she still had instincts. And hers hadn't suggested anything so outrageous. How could her gut have failed her so horribly? It just didn't fit.

"But I mean... are you sure?" There had to be another explanation, and she was desperate to uncover it. "Maybe, traveling so long with them she-"

"There is no mistaking it." Softly and sadly; he did not seem offended by her doubting him. He likely never wished so badly to be wrong. But unfortunately, "I am certain."

Black bangs veiled his lowered eyelids as he hung his head defeatedly. But Kagome barely registered his slackening grip on control as she lost herself inside the revelation, and its implications.

"Oh my god." Blue eyes glazed over with horror as quivering fingers covered her own lips. "But she doesn't remember-"

"Anything," he finished for her, and she wasn't certain whether it was relief dusting his despair. He didn't sound certain himself. "She remembers nothing. It is the one silver lining in this. Though it brings This One little comfort." He sounded as if he was both trying to convince himself to find a measure of solace, and forbid himself from doing so. "She still..."

But he couldn't say it. He didn't need to.

Her shock rendered her mind incapable of any further justifications, but her gut took over, churning involuntarily as it processed this for her.

"Oh kami. Rin..."

"You are not to inform her." His cold, hard tone was reminiscent of the demon lord she'd met inside his father's tomb. Except his obvious suffering made feigning indifference impossible.

"She's going to figure it out eventually." She tried not to sound snappy, but her frustration set her famous temper on edge. It was likely his understanding of that that kept him from lashing back.

Instead; he used that cold, commanding baritone to issue his order.

"You are not to inform anyone."

She noticed that the more powerless he felt, the more easily he slipped into his ice lord persona. She wondered if it made him feel a measure of control, or if it simply helped him get distance from any undesired feelings that may arise.

Either way, this was not a time to test him. There were more important matters at hand.

"Sesshoumaru..." she gasped helplessly, begging him for reassurance now. Reassurance that Rin would be okay. That he would. She was supposed to be helping him, but she was at a loss. In way over her head; all she could offer him was her sympathy, and her continued presence. It felt terribly insufficient. "What are we going to do?"

He spun to face her, and the unexpected movement caused her heart to jump. The look on his face was threatening. _Terrifying_.

Even more so than the night he had transformed; he looked rattlingly like his demon self in that moment. With a deep scowl twisting his handsome features into something hard and spiteful; violet eyes narrowed into a fearsome glare, fixing down at her so icily that nearly had her retreating a step.

Warning bells went off when he took his first menacing step toward her, and were it not for fear rendering her completely immobile; she would have certainly fled. Everything about him screamed _danger_ as his aura densely flared around him; encompassing them both in a way that was meant to warn of the threat he posed, and highly advise retreat.

No human had ever activated her miko defenses, as they could only help her fend off demons, but it was probably acknowledgement of his youkai potential that activated anyhow. Though, it was useless.

But even though her lungs had ceased drawing breath, something subconsciously kept the miko in place. Something that knew he would never hurt her. Something that knew leaving now would hurt him.

So she stayed put as he strode over to her, only able to tilt her head back when he stopped close enough to touch. Though she didn't flee; her fear and uncertainty glared blindingly in her countenance, but there was nothing she could do about that.

He loomed over her; glaring down into frightened blue eyes as if trying to chase away the undesired reaction with the weight of his displeasure, but all she could do was wait. She didn't know what was about to happen, but whatever fate had in store for her; it appeared to be at this former demon's behest.

She didn't expect him to drop to his knees, as verified by the startled sharp, yet overdue intake of breath that followed. For a moment; muscle memory braced in anticipation of his hands to travel up her short skirt and rip her panties down to her knees. It was what happened the last time he fell before her like this, and she fully expected to feel the cold air of winter pricking at her hairless sex, followed in stark contrast by the blazing heat of his mouth as his tongue compensated apologetically and generously for the disruption.

Though not entirely appropriate in this moment; it would have been the distraction they both desperately needed, and she was becoming accustomed to his preferred method of ignoring the hard, sharp bite of reality's vicious fangs.

But the sensation never came. Her crotch remained clothed; he hadn't even endeavored to breach the short hem of her skirt at all. The only coolness she felt was against the thin material covering her stomach, and her panic only intensified when she finally registered why.

Blunt fingernails curled into her sides as he buried his face in her cotton shirt. He pressed himself further into the softness of her belly, trembling slightly as she felt the material growing wet between them.

Stunned still; all she could do was watch in horror at the unsettling display playing out before her eyes.

"It's all my fault!" he wailed, muffling the words as she felt his lips moving against her covered skin. "I could not protect her. It isn't fair."

She longed for pain as everything within her turned numb. She felt like she was floating outside her body, and looking down at the surreal, impossible sight.

The once-proud, once-demon lord had finally broken. After one hell of a fight; he'd finally reached his limit, and all he had was her to salvage whatever was left of him to save.

Only a few deep-toned sobs had managed to escape his cramping chest, and they were dampened by her clothing, and absorbed into her body. He released her hips to slide long arms around her waist, locking her tightly against him in an inescapable hold. She felt his nose digging into her uncomfortably, using what remained of his strength to hide himself inside this human woman.

If she hadn't chosen to follow him down to her knees just then, their jellified state would have ensured she did anyhow. He loosened his hold to allow her to slip gracelessly down to his level, and his hands found her hips again as he leaned away to make room.

Even though he was slouching; she had to sit tall on her knees to find his eye level. Though when she did; he refused to acknowledge her. Blurry eyes remained downcast through messy, disheveled bangs, but she didn't need to look in them to see the anguish marring normally stoic features.

She did, however, need him to look at her; to assure him of her presence, and pull him out of the painful abyss threatening to consume him.

Limp arms fell away from her as she reached for his face with both hands. Grabbing his cheeks, she forced him to do so. For his part; he held her gaze then, but she swooped his hair out of his face to ensure as few barriers between them as possible.

Violet eyes bled red, but she knew his beast was not to blame. Another beast was at fault here.

She ignored the haunting look of his tear-stained face, painful grimace and forlorn countenance, and forced herself to stay strong. Determination somehow prevailed; making it possible to glare deeply, and unflinchingly into those broken eyes.

"It's not your fault that you are human." Her tone nor her gaze allowed an inch for argument or doubt, and she held him meaningfully, unblinkingly until she was certain he understood.

It stifled none of his despair, but he found his own determination in that moment as well.

Lifting his hands to hold her face in an identical fashion; he pulled himself within inches of her unfailing features.

"It is not your fault that you are human, either," he assured her, though it was clear the realization was his own.

And then, he kissed her fiercely.

He trembled with passion and an overload of emotion as he poured everything he was feeling past his lips, and past hers. Sliding them across her tongue as he held her tighter; allowing no retreat as he angled her to receive what he desperately needed to give.

She dropped her arms in surrender as she let him take control of the encounter. He obviously needed this, and it was impossible to deny him anything.

Firm lips dragged feverishly - impatiently - across hers, and she remained compliant; even leaning in as he lowered his hands to begin fumbling clumsily at the buttons on her blouse.

She had no problem being his distraction again, she even ached for it. But as she felt her own tears begin to fall; she realized that it wouldn't be enough. Not this time.

Whatever pleasure he could derive from her willing body would be incomplete, and short-lived. He needed more. He deserved more, and it was finally time to give it to him. She'd waited long enough.

He'd only managed to expose her bra when she encircled her hands around his wrists, but he didn't halt his progress until she pulled reluctant lips away from his.

"It's all my fault."

Eyes that softened at her statement gentled even further when he noticed her tears. She looked to be in as much pain as he was, and he cursed himself for doing that to her. Another woman suffering for his failures was too much to bear.

"No," he insisted with intense, demanding eyes, and confidently shook his head. "It was wrong of me to condemn you for something contingent on luck of birth." His misunderstanding begat his guilt-ridden apology, though original acknowledgement and guilt likely made the leap an easy one. He was projecting now, and it killed her that even though this long-awaited epiphany was a correct one, it was not _the_ correct one, in this case. "It was wrong to condemn any of you. You cannot help being born-."

"I wasn't talking about my humanity. I was talking about yours." Her heart broke as she took in his curious features, so with a deep breath; she summoned all of her courage, and forced her lips to keep moving before she lost the nerve. "It is my fault that you are human."

She felt her eyes become full before the excess streamed down her cheeks, and his dubious expression made her whole body ache. She burned it into her memory, as it was the last time he would ever look at her without knowing the awful truth.

"I made a wish on the jewel." Confusion was the first reaction he gave at the unanticipated statement, but it would not be the last. She could tell the moment the confession registered, and sped up to explain while she still had the chance. "I didn't mean to. It was an accident."

But by the time her excuses left her; eyes wide with shock retreated from her grasp, and he was up in a move so urgent and quick; she wondered if his youki had returned at the news.

But it hadn't, and she couldn't say she wasn't relieved. That had always been a fear – warranting Sesshoumaru to break his promise.

But his eyes, thought red-rimmed and bloodshot were not the product of his beast bleeding through. Violet remained, and something much, much worse. Something she'd never seen before.

Even at his lowest, when hope was lost and he broke down in front of her; she had never seen that pain and hurt that betrayed her betrayal. The tears streaming down his stripeless cheeks made him look completely unhinged, and terrifying. Because he wasn't crying. He wasn't making a sound. Tears just kept falling, as if he'd sprung some sort of leak.

And then, just like that; they were gone. Turned off, at least; their evidence still remained. He tore his eyes away from, looking as if he was trying to think what in god's name he was going to do from there.

She felt the tears flowing freely down her own cheeks, though she also made not a sound. All she could do was stare helplessly up into his enraged bewilderment from her place on her knees. He lifted his hand to his mouth, and she couldn't tell if he had to physically restrain himself from something in that moment.

He wiped away his reaction quite literally, and panicked, incredulous eyes darted about briefly before finally settling on her once again.

A cold, resentful gaze the likes of which she had never known cut her heart out where she sat. Even before; when he was himself - back when he hated her, before he even knew her - he had never looked at her like that. Such disdain was not even reserved for his brother in the peak of their rivalry. She'd managed to channel his pure, untampered hatred even more expertly than the hanyou.

She'd hoped he was beyond the capability for such things, but from that one look; he had it in him more than ever.

And then finally; it was gone. The pain, the hurt, the palpable rage. All of it was replaced by that famous cold glare he leveled at those he considered beneath him. Those he did not know. Almost everyone.

She saw the dismissal; she recognized it immediately. That look, she'd seen before. Back when she meant nothing to him. And then he removed even that, and it was her turn to panic.

"No," she begged him, her anguish on full display. "Sesshoumaru please!"

She was never going to reach him, but she reached out anyway. He'd turned on his heel and strode purposefully for the door, and was out without another word, or backward glance.

She didn't bother getting up; she knew it was pointless. Her tears continued as he quickly made his exit, and the sobs finally tore through her as she closed her eyes in defeat.

"I'm sorry!" she yelled out, but he was no longer there. She was alone on the floor of his hut, and he would not be returning.

She'd fantasized about unburdening herself of this terrible secret. But now that he knew; it felt like her troubles had only just begun.

* * *

As soon as she'd managed to put herself together – as it were – Kagome assembled the others to make her confession complete. It was bad enough she'd been hiding this from them this long. If they found out from Sesshoumaru instead of her, her betrayal would be complete.

She had no idea where he was - when or if he was coming back - but she wanted to make sure they knew why he was gone, so at the very least; they could make their plans accordingly.

This was terrible. Now that Rin was awake; they were finally free to go home. But they couldn't leave without him, could they? Did he even want to go with them anymore?

After the initial shock of her confession wore off; a morose gravity settled in that made Kagome very uneasy. She'd never felt the weight of so much disappointment, so much valid irritation. She didn't know how to withstand it.

"It was you?" Inuyasha finally demanded, if only because the others were likely waiting for his reaction. "The whole time? Why didn't you say anything?"

The miko sat on the floor hugging her knees defensively - a very submissive position considering everyone else was standing. Except for Inuyasha, who was doing something more like pacing.

"You should have told us, Kagome." The disappointment in Sango's voice wasn't tempered at all by her gentle tone, and the miko felt her eyes well up again - though she tried her best to keep herself under control. She brought this on herself; she deserved their admonishment.

"This is bad," Inuyasha said, his mind was clearly racing. "You really screwed up this time."

She wouldn't argue. Apparently, neither would anyone else.

"I thought you were waiting to think of a pure wish."

She looked up to her alpha to find his eyes focused somewhere outside the window.

"I was," she assured him. "I couldn't think of one."

The wish had to be selfless, and it had to be chosen carefully. The reasons why were never so clear. But as long as she was misspending wishes; she really wished she would have wished for riches, or skills, or higher intelligence would have been good.

But she didn't, because she knew no matter what; it would come at a cost. Even though usually not so blatant; any abrupt change would have its consequences, no matter how good-natured the request. It was because until you experience it; you do not know what the price of attaining such things might be. But there was no free lunch in this world, and you will never cheat the universe out of its due.

"So you wished for _that_?" the hanyou asked incredulously, as if she was an idiot.

Despite natural instinct to defend herself otherwise; she forced herself to refrain.

"It was an accident," she said instead, though not for the first time.

And despite his natural instinct to belabor the point and pitch a fit; Inuyasha forced himself to rein in his temper. She knew she made a mistake, and beating her down for it would do none of them any good. Besides; he didn't exactly want to make his best friend feel terrible, no matter how badly she'd behaved. Right now; they needed to make a plan.

"What are we gonna do?"

The answer seemed obvious to Kagome. "We have to find a way to fix it."

"You can't fix it," he snapped back, making her wince. "The only way to undo the jewel's wish is to use the jewel. Everyone knows that."

Everyone but her, apparently.

No one had ever said that a wish upon the jewel could never be broken, but apparently; that was common knowledge around here. As its keeper; she really should have been made aware of that little tidbit.

Had she known; it may have inspired her to confess her sins in the beginning. For no other reason than to try and figure out why her previous attempt to unwish him had failed.

"I told you I tried; it didn't work," she reminded him irritably. Inuyasha scowled.

"Then there is something wrong with the wish."

"Everything is wrong with it."

Again, no arguments as another silence fell over the troubled group. Each inside their own head as they tried desperately to hit on anything that might help them.

"Damn it," Inuyasha finally bemoaned. His lack of solutions only served to stoke his frustrations. "We coulda been looking for a dark miko; we could have been looking for answers."

"When?" Kagome demanded, finally losing her battle with humility. "We've been looking for Rin this whole time."

'Would haves' and 'coulda's' might feel cathartic, but were not going to help them here. Neither was self-pity, Kagome realized, but regardless...

"This whole thing is my fault." It hurt when none of her friends attempted to argue, or even placate her, but she knew they were right not to. In addition to deceiving them; she was the whole catalyst for this dangerous and very unpleasant mission. And now when they could finally go home; she had delayed them yet again. They should be furious with her. "Sesshoumaru and Rin... you guys having to drop everything and come along..." She looked to each of them regretfully, before lowering her gaze. "I never wanted any of this to happen."

The others seemed to soften at her palpable self-loathing, and the realization managed to bring them down even further.

"We know that." When Miroku finally spoke, she felt a modicum of relief. His until-now silence had her fearing he might withhold his forgiveness. He was obviously upset, but at least he didn't hate her. Large, shining eyes looked apologetically and hopefully into his. "But you should have been honest with us. We would have understood."

She averted her gaze in shame as she accepted the monk's admonishment. Inuyasha broke the ensuing silence once more.

"This is terrible," he griped unhelpfully, before looking out the window again. "And now Sesshoumaru is gone."

In the past; he never would have cared a whit about his brother's misfortune. He likely would have relished it.

But that worry on his face was genuine, and not only on his behalf. Now; Sesshoumaru's pain was his own – even though he hadn't a clue to the depth of it. The half-brothers had found their way to something more closely resembling an amicable relationship than ever before, and now, because of her; it might be in jeopardy, if not dissolved all together.

Inuyasha had never had a family, until he found his own. For a pack-minded demon, it was a painful and difficult lifestyle to grapple with. Now, he was building to something unlike he had ever experienced before. He had tasted that acceptance, that call of familiar blood. It had been dangled in front of him and ripped away, so she could understand his resentment.

She just hoped, even if Sesshoumaru couldn't forgive her, that he wouldn't hold this against Inuyasha. None of this was his fault.

But she really hoped he could find his way to forgiving her too. She also had something dangled in front of her, and the prospect of losing it was too much to accept all at once. Especially because it was her own actions that had caused it.

"What if he doesn't come back?" she wondered aloud, softly voicing her deepest fear.

"He'll be back," Inuyasha assured her, and his confidence was comforting. "He'll be pissed, but he'll be back."

With that fear assuaged, she moved on to the next. "Will he ever forgive me?"

His brother's frown this time around was far less reassuring, and she felt her optimism plummet.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "If you hadn't noticed; he can be pretty spiteful."

She had noticed, unfortunately. But there was one important difference, and she clung to it like a life preserver.

"That was the old him. The new him-"

"Treated you special," Inuyasha finished for her. It would have made her beam, or blush, were it not spoken in the past tense. "You might find that has changed."

Of course she'd considered it, but hearing it acknowledged aloud by someone else just seemed to validate her fears to the extent of nearly rendering them facts. Just the thought of being pushed back to arm's length, and treated as an unwelcome guest was enough to send her down another tier in her own personal hell.

"You lied to him, Kagome. You played him for a fool. He don't tolerate disrespect from most people, but he let you get away with more than even me. This, though..." His heavy sigh spoke of his exasperation, and he shook his head. "You messed with his trust. And ours."

What he threw on at the end had her now completely dejected. This was worse than she was anticipating.

"You don't trust me anymore?" she asked worriedly. Inuyasha instantly softened.

"Of course I do." When offered with a small smile; she felt the weight of the world lift for a brief, merciful moment. "But I ain't human," he quickly reminded her. "My kid wasn't taken. He doesn't trust anyone, and he really trusted you. This is gonna be hard for him to swallow."

The extent of her damage was finally realized, and it left her feeling helpless, and hollow. If she knew it was going to be like this, she hated to admit she probably wouldn't have said anything. So she was glad she didn't know, if only for Sesshoumaru's sake.

"Just warning ya," the hanyou tried to justify, after seeing her become distraught. He followed up with some advice. "If you've ever groveled, you might want to try it, but I don't even know if that's gonna work."

Only time would tell, and for now; all she could do was wait. If he wanted to torture her; staying away and letting her squirm would be a fine way to do it.

"Shit, Kagome." Apparently; the hanyou was finally all out of grievances, but not curses. "I can't believe it. I never woulda guessed it was you."

Her friends all obviously felt duped, and betrayed by her role in this whole fiasco. She couldn't even begin to imagine what Sesshoumaru must be feeling.

She'd never given any of them a reason to doubt her before. For a first try; she'd sure gone all out.

"I'm sorry," she whispered again, for what felt like the millionth time. She wondered how many more it would take to get their forgiveness.

* * *

Everyone needed time to reflect after the huge admission, and Kagome couldn't say she wasn't relieved. She was eager to pay her penance, and hopefully get it all out of the way as soon as possible, but it was a lot more difficult than she had expected. She supposed that was how she knew she was doing it right.

The only member of the party not included was also the newest, and the youngest. So once her friends left her alone; Kagome sought out Rin to spend some time with the newly awakened girl.

Sesshoumaru's revelation came crashing back the second she laid eyes on her. She had been so caught up in her own drama, that she'd forgotten about Rin's. Luckily, that was what Sesshoumaru had wanted. Nobody was supposed to know the disturbing secret, not even the girl it affected. As through as she was with withholding information, considering who requested it; all she could do was comply.

Her lips were sealed; so she tried to push the troubling thoughts, burning questions, and crippling pity, and act like nothing was wrong. If she wasn't careful; she was going to get good at this.

"Where is Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin asked after Daichi left to let the two women visit. "Is he feeling alright?"

There was no hiding this, however. One lie per person was more than enough.

"No," she answered gravely. "He isn't. And it's all my fault."

"Did you tell him?" she asked nervously, yet with an impressive threat in her young tone.

She was confused at first, until she realized Rin was talking about her memories. Honestly, with all that was going on; she'd completely forgotten about that.

It brought on a whole new set of concerns, however. If she started to remember even more... well, it would probably cause more harm than good. Hopefully, whatever spell she was under just kept them dormant for good.

But just because she hadn't told Sesshoumaru yet, it didn't mean she wouldn't. If he did deign to forgive her, keeping his ward's secrets was sure to reverse his decision swiftly. But for now, she didn't need to tell her that.

"No," she assured her, and Rin released a heavy sigh. "I told him something much worse."

She looked at Kagome curiously from her seat on her bed, and waited for the miko to elaborate.

"I had been keeping a secret from Sesshoumaru-sama. A terrible secret, and I finally came clean." Her intense gaze became somber, and she averted it to avoid further judgement. "Now, I don't know if he will ever forgive me. He is very mad."

"What did you tell him?" the girl demanded. Kagome faltered at the question.

She intended to tell her, but suddenly remembered what Sesshoumaru was to this kid. She idolized the man. She loved him like a father, or at least a very protective older brother. How would she feel if she knew what she'd done to her beloved lord? If she knew he hated her now?

But even worse was suddenly recalling what exactly her wish had cost Rin personally. If those memories returned, would she hate her too?

"Oh, Rin," she lamented regretfully, more ashamed of her mistake than ever. "I'm so sorry. I just realized I need to apologize to you too. I understand if you get angry, but I hope that one day, you will-"

"What is it?" she demanded again, more serious than she had ever remembered the child being.

No use belaboring it.

"He is human because of me," she bluntly informed her. "I made an accidental wish on the Shikon. That's what turned him human."

She was relieved when her confession was met with confusion instead of disdain, but that was how it started with Sesshoumaru too.

"You?"

"Yes. And now he hates me." Rin removed her gaze to digest the news, while the miko continued her plea. "I am so sorry. Please believe that I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

There still appeared to be no hate in the little girl's features. Perhaps it was because it did not exist in her heart either.

But fear was another story, and that was almost as troubling.

"Did he say that he hates you?"

Kagome shook her head, but remembered their last conversation about love.

"He didn't have to."

When she looked to Rin again; the girl appeared to be warring with herself. Finally, she voiced her fear.

"Do you think if Sesshoumaru-sama found out I lied to him, that he would hate me too?"

With a sad smile, Kagome instantly shook her head.

"I don't think he could ever hate you, Rin. No."

"I didn't think he could ever hate you!" she responded immediately, almost frantically. "I saw how he looked at you earlier. He's never trusted anyone so much."

Where the observation would have made her heart skip before, now; it only brought pain. Would she ever know that trust from him again?

"That is why he is so mad," she informed her lowly. "He trusted me, and I betrayed that trust."

Rin watched Kagome a moment, debating with herself all the while. Finally, she came to a decision.

"I have to tell you something."

Kagome knew that tone, and felt panic begin to course through her being. "Oh, no."

"A secret, I didn't want him to-"

Kagome stood, and prepared herself to leave. "Oh, no no! Please, don't-"

"I remember everything that happened." She stopped, not even having made it halfway to the door, and turned back around slowly. When blue met brown, she repeated, "Everything."

While her heart broke at the implications, Kagome marveled at the resolute strength the girl seemed to project. With all she'd been through; she supposed it wasn't a surprise. Of course she would be tough, and resilient.

"I didn't want to tell him, because if he knew..."

And in that moment, Kagome understood. She'd never lost her memories. But she'd believed her, because she wanted it to be true.

That was probably why the normally astute former demon believed her too, thought she supposed he'd have no reason not to. She doubted Rin had ever lied to him before.

She was trying to protect him, but after he hearing that; he was only going to feel worse.

She hated that she felt she had to do this. Maybe she could convince Rin to come clean, so she wouldn't have to be the bad guy. Again.

"He would never blame you," she tried to assure her, leaning in and placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "It was not your fault! None of this was your fault. It was mine."

Looking back into her eyes, Rin considered her assessment, assessing her as she did so.

"Maybe," she offered, and the cold honesty in her voice hurt more than she was expecting. "But  
Sesshoumaru-sama will think it was his. That is why you can never tell him."

But Kagome was remaining firm on this. Rin's eyes turned to panic as the miko shook her head.

"I can't do that." At the angry look she received, she became defensive. "I just told him I've been lying to him for weeks! If I do it again; he will never forgive me. I will lose his trust forever."

Rin recognized the miko's plight, and sympathized with it, but she was also staying firm.

"Kagome-sama..." she warned sternly. Looking into the woman's eyes; she saw the regret, the fear, and pulled no punches. "Do not tell him. You have hurt him enough. You've hurt me enough."

Flustered, Kagome resumed her retreat.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." She rushed to the door, but before leaving, she turned around, making sure to catch her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

After she was gone; Rin only hoped she'd weighed her conscious down enough to comply.

* * *

Kagome used her newfound alone time as a chance to explore the village's perimeter. The town was picturesque; spacious and quiet. Sparsely populated. In fact, other than the elder; she hadn't seen evidence of any other residents during her stay here.

She thought it strange at first, but the longer she considered it, the more she began to suspect it was the reason Toran had taken them here.

She said it was a demon village, but there were no demons for miles. They must know they were there, however.

She didn't know what kind of arrangement her father had made in these lands, but if Toran was willing to leave Sesshoumaru here; it had to be under sufficient protection. At first, Kagome suspected it was perhaps the Northern Lord's personal vacation spot – his own out of the way paradise to use when he needed to escape it all.

But the amenities appeared tailored to suit a human's needs, and the devastating isolation made Kagome feel more like she was in a leper colony than anything.

'Or perhaps,' she thought optimistically, 'a wildlife refuge.' But even though she was a protected species; she got the feeling that if demons were allowed to come and commingle, they still would not.

The sun would be setting soon, but she was still hesitant to return. She acknowledged that this little nature hike was more of a chance to shamefully hide from the people she'd wronged than to delve too deeply into self-reflection. She was painfully aware of her mistakes already, and being alone with her thoughts currently served no purpose aside from testing the limits of her capacity for self-loathing.

What she should be doing is trying to think of a way to fix this. To fix _him_. To fix them. But the ball was now in his court. And she knew it was a bit early to be expecting any forgiveness; she just hoped – after he'd cooled off a bit – he could eventually find it in him. And she needed to mourn that fact a little longer before she could focus on reversing his curse.

An overpowering stench hit her senses as soon as she stepped out of the tree line. She knew the lake was up ahead, and she'd decided to watch the sunset from one of the many wooden benches that had been built for that purpose.

At first; she worried that something was on fire, but that burning smell was distinct and familiar. Realization dawned just as she glimpsed Sesshoumaru's unmistakable profile sitting at one of the benches looking out over the vast lake, and her eyes widened incredulously.

She pushed aside her concerns – and the sadness they inspired – but fear continued to reign with each trepidatious step forward. She was unsure if approaching him now was the right thing to do, but she had to at least try to make things right. Or at the very least; give him the chance to say anything he needed to say to her.

Her earlier suspicions were confirmed when she got within meters of him, and saw him lift the pipe he'd stolen up to his firm lips. She was unaware he still had the opium he'd taken, and worried how much of it remained in his possession. Though lured into its clutches as a cure for physical discomfort, many fell prey to the drug's seduction as an answer to emotional pains.

Except it wasn't an answer, just a respite. A band aid at best. And eventually, an even bigger problem as the affects wore off, reminding you that they pain you were treating had never actually left you. Making its return even more excruciating in comparison to that preferable _nothing_ you'd mercifully been granted. Making it impossible to deny yourself that sweet relief that you know remains just around the corner.

But now was not the time for that lecture. The smoke left his lungs as she closed the distance between them. He didn't look her way, but she knew he'd detected her. She hoped his lack of reaction was a good sign, but she couldn't be sure.

His gaze remained forward as she stopped beside the bench.

"I know you don't want to see me right now."

And quite literally, apparently. He still refused to look at her. But she was relieved to hear his voice. He sounded calm, though that wasn't really a surprise.

"Sit, miko."

She tried to find solace in his invitation, rather than focus on the cold indifference insinuated by the return of her title. That was to be expected.

She did as he ordered; sitting beside him at a respectful distance despite her desire to reaffirm their closeness with touch. When he didn't say anything, but rather placed the pipe in his mouth once again; she took the opportunity to try and explain herself.

"It was just a mistake," she insisted, her tone leaden with regret. "You had beaten up Inuyasha pretty bad. I wished that you knew how it felt to be human. I wasn't thinking."

She'd still garnered no reaction, and she worried if the opium was making it harder for her to get through. Regardless, she did not give up. "I didn't even know I made a wish until I found you. I tried to wish you back." She studied him sadly as he continued to ignore her. "but nothing worked."

A large cloud of smoke flew past his lips, saturating the air around them with its rich scent. Her eyes were trained on his, and their glassy, distant quality was on par with their disconcerting appearance over the past 24 hours. She didn't know if that revelation made her feel better or worse.

"What's done is done," he said casually, but his dismissive attitude came off as more defeatist than accepting, considering who he was. Accepting this as his fate could only be seen as admitting defeat.

But Kagome wasn't willing to let that happen. She'd gotten him into this; she wasn't going to rest until she got him out of it. That was now her life's purpose. That would be her penance.

"We will find a way to undo it," she frowned determinedly. "Maybe there is a witch. Or another miko who-"

"No." His soft voice put an end to her brainstorming. "The jewel's wish cannot be undone. It is final."

That was what Inuyasha had told her. That Sesshoumaru knew it too was not at all encouraging. And even more humiliating, considering she was the keeper and she didn't know it.

She assumed he was thinking the same thing, but for whatever reason; he didn't seem inclined to relay that to her. But she wasn't ready to give up yet. Not even close.

"Maybe there is a loophole." When he finally turned to look down on her; her heart skipped a beat. The return of his weighty attention was encouraging, so she got excited. "I wished you knew what it was like to be human. Maybe once you learn, you will go back."

She admittedly hadn't been spending as much time as she should have trying to fix him over the past month, but that was the one scenario that was never far from her thoughts. He couldn't deny that he'd become more aware of human motivations in a way that only personal experience would have granted him. As he became intimately familiar with their thoughts and feelings, he managed to change back into himself – if only for the night. She predicted that it was his burgeoning understanding of her race that allowed for such a thing. At least, she hoped that was it.

It might also explain why the jewel didn't work now. It couldn't reset until it's last wish was completed. Maybe it was still dormant because it was still in the middle of the wish. He'd come a long way, but Sesshoumaru didn't know everything about them yet. Or, not enough, at least. Maybe once he did; he could change back, and the jewel could be used again. Then she could wish the stupid thing out of existence so it never caused her any problems again.

'Damn it! That's it! That's what I was supposed to wish for!'

A little late now, but if she ever changed him back; she wouldn't blow it next time. She shook off that thought for later.

"I think you turned demon that night because you were starting to understand how we feel. We just need to find out what else you need to learn."

He didn't seem overly impressed with her deduction, but he did take on a thoughtful countenance. If that was really it; they would need to determine which facets of humanity were still a mystery to him, and get him educated.

He seemed to grasp her meaning, and shifted his glassy stare somewhere across the lake. "What does it mean to be human?"

Amused, Kagome produced a small smirk. "Very philosophical."

But the way his eyes cut coldly back to her wiped it from her face in an instant.

'Okay, definitely not ready to joke around yet. That was my fault.'

"We will find a way," she assured him, becoming serious once again. "I will never stop trying."

The long moment that followed in which he seemed to be assessing her managed to get her hopes up. But she learned that was a mistake when he lowered his lids condescendingly; offing a mocking 'hn,' before removing his gaze and dismissing her all together.

"Unlike you," he drawled haughtily, "I do not delude myself with ideals, just because I wish they were so."

Her impulse was to retort, but – luckily – he never gave her the chance.

"You believed Rin would return unharmed," he harshly reminded her. "You believed I could become demon again." His eyes narrowed as he looked out on the lake, pointedly avoiding her for at least one of their benefits.

"And you believed that you and I had a future, even though I had told you several times we do not." When he turned to face her; his perfectly passive visage betrayed no regret at her pained reaction to his words - only mild annoyance, but that went with the territory. He tilted his head consideringly.

"Did you believe I would marry you, now that I know I shall be human forever?" Even if she had an answer for that, she wouldn't have been able to manage it. He didn't seem inclined to wait, turning back and dismissing her once again. "Another foolish daydream from your empty head."

It felt like it had been so long since he'd spoken to her that way, but then she realized it really hadn't. They'd only been travelling together for about a month, and they were _at least_ a week in before he even started letting hints of regard slip through the cracks of his icy demeanor.

They'd come such a long way in such a short amount of time. And now, they were back to square one. Maybe even worse than that. Before this mission; he wouldn't have cared if she lived or died. Now, he might have a dog in that fight. She'd screwed him, and not in the way he was hoping for. She had to wonder if his promise to her was the only thing keeping her breathing at the moment.

"Perhaps," he said after a quiet pause, "there was a brief moment in time where it may have been the case." The intensity of his gaze tore her from her lament, but her turmoil only compounded when she realized what he was telling her. His thoughtful tone was laced with regret, but he corrected that quickly with the sharp edge of his tongue, and sneered. "but your outrageous lies and offensive disrespect has banished that notion clear from my own foolish mindset."

She knew he wasn't lying, because he never did. And just like that, words she'd so desperately wanted to hear hit her with more force than any blow. And she'd given him the means to weaponize them.

He seemed even more resentful of that fact than she was.

He reined in that resentment, that anger, that regret, and all that remained was defeat. He didn't even have the energy to be exasperated. He was exhausted. Tired of this mission, tired of being human. But it was his disappointment in her that finally saw him depleted.

That he was done was clear, and as hard as his accusing glare was to endure, it was a hundred times worse when he removed it all together.

"I am through trying to fix whatever it is that is broken inside you, defective miko." He deigned a frown as he searched for the other side of the lake. "You may go on believing all of those ridiculous things, but I shall not indulge you any longer."

She had been accustomed to his cruelty at one point. But now, his harsh assessment of her caused her very soul to ache. His opinion meant nothing to her before. Now, it was everything. It was devastating.

"Sesshoumaru-"

"One moon cycle," he bit out, obviously not at all interested in her apologies. "You kept this from me for one entire moon cycle. I have grown quite accustomed to your lies, _Kagome_." The way he abused her name had her yearning to be called by her title instead. "As time went by; I thought I had finally broken you of that practice. But every single day for one month; you looked me in the face, and pretended you did not know what had cursed me." When he turned to her again; she registered the anger he kept under tight rein. The tears building in her eyes did nothing to soften him.

"I would like to know why." It was in no way a request. He lifted his chin slightly. "and I deserve the truth from you, so _please_ ," he stressed condescendingly, "break form and be honest with me, for once."

Despite his best efforts; the pain of her betrayal managed to glimmer through his facade for a brief second. "Why?"

She felt ashamed when she had to avert her eyes. A lone tear managed to escape, but she tried to keep her composure long enough to give him an answer.

"Because I'm a coward," she whispered, wiping her cheek with her hand.

Sesshoumaru shook his head with a scowl.

"Insufficient. You will elaborate."

She managed to meet his glare, and marveled at how - now that he was human - he was more terrifying than he had ever been. The threat he posed her now was so much worse.

"At first; I was afraid you would kill me if you knew."

"Despite my word that I would not?" he quickly demanded.

"...yes."

Satisfied, he nodded once. "Go on."

"Then," she meekly obliged, "we started getting along a little bit, and I was afraid of ruining our progress."

He had nothing to interject, so with a shaky voice; she continued her recount.

"Then, I started falling for you." It hurt when he didn't react, but she forced her tone to steady. "We were becoming more intimate. I just didn't want you to hate me."

Again, his lack of response was painful. All she wanted was for him to tell her he didn't hate her. That he was mad, but they would get through it. But in his silence, the fears she'd been harboring only seemed to bolster.

Trembling blue eyes looked up at him in desperation. "If you hated me; I don't know what I'd do."

His cold glare narrowed before he looked away once again. "I am not fond of you at the moment."

It went without saying, but she grabbed on to the sliver of hope he offered by not explicitly telling her he hated her. Though his indifference might be just as bad.

She studied his profile, not liking what she saw. Hating that it was her who made him so miserable. Uncertain if things could ever be repaired.

"Are we going to be okay?"

Finally, after a breathless moment, he answered her. "I don't know."

At least he was honest, and she decided that it had to be good enough for now. It wasn't like she really had a choice. But even though it hurt; she was at least pleased that he was talking to her. And no matter how hard it was to endure; he deserved to say his piece.

She sat quietly as he took another pull from his pipe, and watched wistfully as the smoke left his lungs in thick, wafting curls. One kiss they'd shared tasted just like that – opium smoke, tinged by the scent of tree bark in the forest after a rain. It smelled just like that now, so much so that she could taste his lips on hers; feel his exploring tongue. But she could not recreate the feeling in her chest brought on by his warmth and protection, comfort in his caring and the fluttering excitement of something new. All there was beneath her breast was the crippling fear of whether she would ever feel that way again.

"All I have asked for is your honesty and your trust. That is all." The knife twisted in her gut as she could only watch him helplessly. She knew he was right, and she was as frustrated with herself as he appeared to be. "Not your friendship, not your body; nothing else. And you have given me neither."

Spelling out her sins so plainly had her thoroughly appalled with herself. She'd known what she was doing was wrong, but she hadn't considered just how insulting it was. He made no bones about the high value he placed on those things, and he practiced what he preached. Trading those values relayed a mutual respect. He'd held up his end, but she couldn't even give him that. How could she treat someone she loved so terribly?

"But you had me fooled." She continued to watch - to listen - in agony. To hear what she had done. All she wanted to do was throw her arms around him, and comfort him, and kiss her apologies until she'd stopped him from hurting, but she knew she couldn't. And that hurt even more. "I would have sworn on my life that I had obtained those things, and in a way, I did. And I lost."

He'd lost his life – the one he knew. She'd taken it from him. And thanks to her; the centuries old demon – still a pup by some standards – only had a few decades to go before he would be lost completely. That she'd managed to win his unconditional faith made it all the more egregious. This was a devastating blow, and she could see how hard it was for him to accept.

She'd wager the Western Lord never allowed anyone to get close enough to betray him so brutally, but she'd somehow managed that feat. He never saw it coming, and she knew he was just as frustrated in himself for letting someone maneuver past his defenses. It would be a good, long while – if ever – that he let it happen again. She hated herself for that too.

His raw anger was still there, but his façade must have grown too heavy for even him to maintain. When his features softened; it wasn't to show regard. His sharp edges fell away just enough to reveal the effects of her betrayal. Cold, furious eyes became awash with regret, relaxing at the corners as his eyebrows lifted slightly, making him resemble a wounded animal.

His mouth was set in a gentle frown, restraining his questions and his heartbreak but not his incredulity. His disbelief, despite knowing what was true. And pain. Un-tempered, unnecessary pain. A gaping wound that may never heal.

"You had my trust, miko." She looked right into his eyes, refusing to disrupt the vision of him by wiping her tears away. "I would have done anything for you. Everything. You were one of the very few I truly trusted with my life - maybe the only one." The heartfelt confession rubbed them both raw, exposing nerve endings to the brutal winter air. The pain was unforgiving, and as a result, so was he.

Sadness became resentment, as did bitter realizations that made comprehension unpalatable. "but you have rendered me as such that I do not see how I would trust anyone ever again." Sesshoumaru sneered, fully taking in her tiny, defenseless form. "You broke me, as my brother broke you."

Inuyasha had hurt her, but she knew he loved her. That was why getting blindsided by him was so easy, and so agonizing. She never would have thought herself capable of inflicting that level of pain on anyone, let alone someone she cared for so deeply. She knew how hard it was to trust again after getting damaged like that. By someone who was supposed to have your best interests at heart. By someone who claimed to love you. She hoped he knew she did, and if he had ever returned the affection; she hoped he could again.

He watched her wipe her tears at last in morbid fascination. He appeared neither satisfied nor upset with her response, and only tilted his head in curiosity.

"Was this your fear, miko? Was this what you were wishing to prevent from occurring?"

"It's worse," she replied after a sharp sniff. Her breath was shaky, but she forced a measure of composure for his benefit. His pain needed acknowledgement right now, not hers.

But he appeared to be through. She didn't know what she was allowed to do right now, but she assumed physical affection would not be welcomed. He looked like he would at least hear her out.

Another hit of opium would bring him comfort in her stead, and once she was confident her voice wouldn't crack; she squared her shoulders determinedly.

"You are completely justified to never trust me again." His eyes were out on the lake again, but she knew he was listening. That was all she needed. "but that won't stop me from trying every day to earn it back. I don't care how long it takes; I will show you I'm worthy." He didn't try to discourage her, but he also didn't look entirely convinced.

But actions spoke louder than words with him. She would prove it to him, but for now; she needed him to know how sorry she was - how much she regretted it.

"That secret nearly broke me. It did break me. It ruined my life, and I will never keep anything from you ever again. Even if it kills me." That finally earned his attention, albeit passionless. "it would be better than this."

She couldn't take it anymore. She boldly touched his arm, and his gaze never strayed as she meaningfully returned it. "I am so sorry," she assured him, then saddened in realization. "I'm sure you hate me, but I hate myself even more. I ruined my life, but I ruined yours, and that's worse. Rin would be safe if it wasn't for me. You would be safe."

She felt him tense under her palm at the mention of his recovered ward, and finally removed it.

Finding her alive was supposed to unburden him. It was supposed to cut his problems in half, and provide some relief until he could become a demon again. Instead, they had at least doubled.

She didn't know if finding her this way was any less painful for him than never finding her at all would have been. Of course; he wasn't one to delude himself with placating fantasy scenarios. He also would have never stopped looking. At the very best, it is a wash.

His burden of humanity also didn't seem to be going anywhere, and now he could add the betrayal of his would-be lover to the heap. Other than promise to never do it again; she didn't know how to fix this. Judging by his current coping method of choice; it didn't look like he did either.

Maybe nothing could. He was a very diligent man. So if he had given up hope, things could quite possibly be hopeless. But just in case; she needed to make an offer.

"I will do anything you ask." She couldn't tell if it was challenge or skepticism glaring back at her. Either way; she didn't falter. "Anything. Even if it's just to humiliate for your own amusement, even if I get hurt in the process. You can do whatever you want to me."

He sized her up as if considering something, but his disapproval of her suggestion was palpable.

It would have been easy to pay penance if he just had some unpleasant chore to delegate, or some unseemly lust to slake. Or even if he had the desire to settle the score, and make them even by making her hurt as badly as she'd hurt him. But she wouldn't have come to care for him so deeply if he was anything like that.

"Hn. Fortunately for you, I do not derive any enjoyment out of torturing human women."

Then again, not allowing her to make amends would serve as a very painful punishment. She hoped that wasn't what he had in mind.

"I thought I might be starting to understand what father felt." Her heart constricted, cramping painfully in her chest as he paralyzed her with his earnest gaze. She knew exactly where he was going, and it was going to be a painful, effective strike. "I thought that perhaps love was not so difficult to grasp after all, and it was possible. But now I know, I had been correct. There is only pain in this world." The distance in his gaze suddenly sharpened as he condemned. "And the worst of it is when you think you love someone, and they show you the folly in it."

She took it back. He was a sadist. He did want to cause her pain, and he knew just how to do it. But it was just what she deserved. And still, it did not diminish her affection for him in the slightest.

She sat frozen beside him; unresponsive, and with a distant – yet cluttered – look in her eyes to match his own. Seeing the damage he'd inflicted; he turned back towards the lake, and it was unclear if he was satisfied, or simply being merciful.

"So," he intoned casually, "How is she?"

She was facing his profile, but looking right through him. She wiped a fresh tear off her cheek as she tried to compartmentalize her most troubling thoughts.

She knew he was referring to Rin. They were going back to before they traded confessions in his hut, and were going to try again, knowing what they do now.

Kagome was trance-like when she responded.

"She remembers everything." He immediately bristled. "She didn't want you to blame yourself for what happened, so she told you she didn't remember. I'm breaking her confidence to tell you because I will never lie to you again."

He recovered by the time she'd completed her explanation, and cut her a sideways glance.

"Hn. Is this a practice employed by all human women?" he patronized drolly. "Do you all work to deceive the ones who care for you the most?"

She wouldn't dare to answer, but she had a question of her own.

"What are you going to do about the child?"

It was arguably their most pressing matter at hand, edging out some very impressive competition. None of the options were favorable, particularly considering the time period. But he sounded like he had a plan, and she was very eager to hear what it was.

"It would be best to terminate the pregnancy."

That was pretty much what she'd assumed; she just worried about how he might go about it. She didn't doubt that Rin's safety would be his top priority, but he couldn't even explain human periods to her. That meant he either didn't know, or didn't want to tell her about it. Either way; this was so much worse, and even though he would spare nothing to keep her physically unharmed; emotional damage was a much lower priority for him. But just as costly, more often than not.

She feared he may have yet to grasp that about her kind.

"Because it is hanyou?" she asked timidly, her sadness easily bleeding through.

His pupils slid her way for a brief moment.

"Yes. Because of the trouble and danger it will bring her. Not to mention her age." He scowled deeply. "She cannot mother a child."

Watching him seethe impotently had Kagome forgetting all of her problems in an instant. Rin was still the priority, and they had a very big issue on their hands. It made her romantic problems seem miniscule in comparison, and she would gladly shelf her drama to focus on the younger girl.

Sesshoumaru was strong-headed and determined, and when he got it in his mind that he wanted to do something; he was almost impossible to dissuade. She didn't doubt he'd given this a great deal of thought, and he sounded like his decision had been made.

She was going to need to be the voice of reason, and would leverage all of her remaining sway with the man to do what was best for Rin. So, what was the reasonable thing to do in this situation? Did such a thing even exist?

After thinking on it a moment; she made the call.

"I actually agree with you." Rin's life had hardly even begun; she'd be damned if she was going to let this commandeer it. She should get to live for herself a bit first before having to give her life to somebody else. It wouldn't be fair to her, and it wouldn't be fair to the child. "But we must handle this gently."

If they were in the future; she'd know exactly what to do. But she doubted any methods employed by unprepared mothers in this era were even remotely safe. Certainly not foolproof. This could be very dangerous. Surely, her protector must be aware of the risks. Then again; demonesses probably weren't as susceptible to complications during childbirth. Did he know that?

"We need to find a way to remove the child without her knowledge." His deep, insistent voice pulled her from her musings. "I do not want her to ever know about the half breed she carries."

Kagome eyed him warily. "You don't think we should tell her?"

That added a whole new layer of difficulty to their undesirable task. Plus, she didn't know how she felt about that. Making a choice on behalf of a child for her best interests is one thing; but acting without her knowledge... it all felt very yucky.

Sesshoumaru shook his head.

"No. She has been through enough." Kagome glanced down to see his fingernails cutting their way into his palm. She considered reaching out to touch him again, but hesitated. "It will not be birthed, so we need not upset her further."

She could definitely see where he was coming from. The knowledge of this child was obviously torturing him, and would for some time. He didn't want Rin to spend her life plagued with misgivings. Worse yet, what if she wanted to keep it?

All that baby-making talk they had earlier exposed the girl's desire to collect them – though, this was terribly ahead of schedule. If she found out there was one on the way; she might not be willing to part with it.

"You will purify it."

Wide eyes snapped up to meet his hardened glare. She knew a command when she heard it, but the miko shook her head. "No, I can't."

"You will refuse me," he asked incredulously, losing both brows behind black bangs. "after all you have done?"

She didn't appreciate the blackmail, but couldn't deny he had a point. She'd just promised to do anything he wanted. How could he ever trust her again if she broke her word to him after five minutes?

But she had a very good reason for refusing. A reason he was sure to appreciate.

"It's too dangerous. Her child is half human, and I won't use her as a guinea pig for testing my powers."

The way he twisted his lips showed he was obviously displeased with that answer, but instead of arguing; he removed his gaze in defeat. He knew complications during pregnancy could cost a human woman her life. How half-purification would impact it was unclear, but it would remain a mystery. It wasn't worth the risk.

'What are we going to do?' She could tell he was reeling for new solutions. He always got that look on his face when he went searching inside his mind. 'Guess he didn't have a plan b.'

Blue eyes became large at the thought, and an idea quickly began to form.

"There's a pill, in my time." Sesshoumaru shifted his attention to the miko, but said nothing. "She won't suspect a thing, and the pain will be manageable. I can give her one of my painkillers too to help. She'll just think she's having her cycle."

He weighed the idea in his mind with obvious interest. Humans in her time used pills like magic potions; the ones he'd sampled had been very effective.

Though unfamiliar with this cure; Kagome seemed very confident in this method. And though she'd betrayed his trust by lying to him, he found he still trusted her with Rin. If she felt more comfortable with this than her own powers, he would go along with it.

While she waited for his reply, he lifted the corner of his mouth in a humorless smirk.

"Hn. I knew I could rely on you to hatch a duplicitous scheme."

The barb stung, and she had a feeling things were going to be this way between them for a while. But things had been tense for them in the beginning too, and they'd managed to make amazing strides. They could do it again, so long as he didn't ice her out completely.

"I will do anything you ask of me, Sesshoumaru." After the reminder; she sighed sadly in resignation. "I will never lie to you again, but if you want me to lie for you; I'll do it in a heartbeat. I'll do everything I can to earn your trust back."

He adopted his lordly cadence as he drew his eyes over her suspiciously.

"We shall see."

He continued to assess her after she turned from him, and started questioning his judgement. It was something he rarely did, but considering where he was – perhaps it was time to begin.

"Are you certain you can find this pill in your time?"

The uncomfortable pause that followed his question was not promising.

"No," she admitted. He frowned. "I can't just go buy it, and I can't exactly fake a pregnancy. But if there is a way; I will get it. You have my word."

She lifted her chin determinedly, and pledged her solemn vow.

Unfortunately, his condescending glare showed he was less than impressed with the display, and he looked away.

"I wish that brought me as much confidence as it would have only hours ago."

It was her turn to frown now, but her resolve never faltered. His digs were valid, and hopefully when he got them all out of his system; he would be ready to forgive her. Until then; she had some unpleasant work to do.

"It should bring you even more," she told him with conviction, and he lifted a brow. "Besides wanting the best for Rin; I've got something to prove, and I'm desperate to please you. I'm highly motivated."

She had a point. He knew first hand that those who found their way onto his shit list – the ones that survived – were quite compelled to get off of it, and quickly. Those who hadn't knowingly displeased him seemed fairly confident of their safety, and often became complacent. It was foolish of them.

The miko cleverly removed that motivational option early on, so death by his hand did not loom heavy and inspire the proper respect, or obedience. Now, it looked like he would finally be responded to appropriately. Better late than never, he supposed.

"Very well. My vassals will be here at dawn. You and I will ride ahead on Ah-Un, and return with the pill to give Rin."

He'd taken a moment to track down his loyal followers the night he became demon. They were easy enough to locate, and he'd issued some orders before returning to find Kagome. They had until dawn tomorrow to handle a few matters on his behalf, and were commanded to meet him here afterward. Uncertain at the time of Rin's mental status; he needed them to come see if they were prepared to depart.

He sure as hell was, but Rin was another story. That was why he'd already spoken to Daichi about keeping an eye on her, and the others were free to do as they pleased. Rin was found, and now awake. Their self-imposed duty to him was over. With Ah-Un returning; he had his own ride, so he needn't rely on anyone else's kindness any longer. It was a huge relief.

"It would be best if she came with us," the miko opined, however. "Time is of the essence with these things. I can give it to her as soon as I return through the well. We can all go home."

He considered her proposition. He didn't need to travel with them anymore. And they certainly didn't need him. They'd all grown more comfortable in each other's presence, but this arrangement was never meant to be permanent. The only thing tying him to them any longer was the miko he'd vowed not to abandon – not as long as he was human, anyway - but now things were complicated.

He was not ready to go back to his lands yet – not like this. But he didn't exactly have anywhere else to go. But if Kagome had to go through the well to help Rin, then they were still all going to the same place. It didn't matter to him one way or the other if the rest of them came along or not. But he was leaving at dawn with Kagome. The rest could decide whatever they wished.

"That is acceptable," he finally proclaimed. "The ride home should be much swifter, as Toran's clan has ensured us undisturbed passage through her lands. We will stop only when absolutely necessary."

Toran had been another stop on his demon night agenda. He made a show of visiting her father, as well as several other clan leaders to affirm his youkai status and quash any doubt of his terrible power and fitness to rule.

While alone; he informed Toran that she could call off her search, save for one lucky escapee. He still held hopes of finding the tiger himself, however. But failing that, he would be satisfied with simply being allowed to torture him. They also worked out the route for an obstacle-free return. He wanted as few difficulties as possible on their homecoming journey.

"You think Rin is ready for travel?" she asked cautiously.

With a haughty look, he lifted his brow. "You tell me. She apparently sees fit to inform you of her memories, but not This One."

She knew it would hurt his pride to learn his adoring charge felt the need to mislead him, and all for the sake of his ego. That she'd taken the miko into her confidence – not a great idea, it turned out – added another layer to the insult.

"She should be okay," she assured him carefully, "but why don't you check on her?"

He narrowed his gaze, and lowered his voice menacingly. "You know why."

Just because Kagome now shared his burden; it didn't make enduring Rin's presence any easier. When he looked at her, all he could smell was that tiger half-breed growing inside her. How could he look into those trusting brown eyes knowing exactly what his weakness had wrought?

"You promised you would," she gently reminded him. "She wants to see you."

"She told you this?" he asked disingenuously. "Because she also told me she remembers nothing, but that turned out to be false."

That was going to hurt for a while. That child - that little girl - kept the truth from him, because she didn't think he could handle it. And she wasn't completely wrong.

But he had told her he would return, and he had intended to. There had simply been... complications, since then. There was too much happening all at once. He didn't need his crippling guilt gnawing at his sanity until after he'd made a plan.

"Yes. She's been through a lot, but she loves you." She was confident in her assessment, but found it difficult not to scold him. That was going to be hard to temper while she waited for his forgiveness. "Just try and be understanding, and don't take it personally."

"How else would I interpret her distrust of This One?"

Twice in the same evening; he'd learned someone close to him had played him for a fool. He did take it personally. How did he not detect the untruth? His affection for these women blinded him to their deception. It was dangerous, and disconcerting.

"She's scared," Kagome justified. He only scoffed. "She had a traumatic experience; it has nothing to do with you."

"It has everything to do with me," he snapped harshly. With a sneer, he reined it in. "My negligence did that to her."

"It's my fault, remember? She doesn't blame you."

That was the whole point of her untimely confession. It was supposed to make him understand that this wasn't his fault. If it didn't relieve his burden, then it was all for nothing.

"I blame This One."

Annoyed by the conformation, she demanded hotly, "Well, blame me."

"I do." His dark reply startled her, along with his icy glare. After pinning her with it a moment, he finally lowered his eyes. "As well."

"Go talk to her," she pleaded. "Tell her that tomorrow; we're going home."

He supposed it didn't matter. He'd be trapped with her on his dragon for as long as it took them to get to the well. Whatever he had to do to make the ride tolerable, he had better figure it out quickly.

Kagome saw him starting to bend, so she thought she'd try her luck atoning.

"When you're done, I can finish working on your shoulder if you like." He could hear the shy smile in her hopeful tone, and when he turned to confirm his suspicions; he was greeted by her slight blush. "We kind of got distracted."

Though his transformation would get the official blame, they both knew the distraction came well before that.

Kami, was that only 24 hours ago? So much had happened since then, so much had changed.

How he wished he could transport himself back to last night, and revel in the feeling just a little longer. His hands on her skin, and hers on his. The closeness and trust, and none of the betrayal. Exciting and frightening new emotions, and the anticipation of what might happen next.

He wished he never found out. About any of it. If he could go back to last night, and never change again; he'd do it in an instant. They would have made it to the stronghold eventually. He didn't need to be demon to find her.

Now, he didn't know if he could ever feel that good again. Everything he had that night was gone. Only his uncertainty remained, but not that of a thrilling new adventure, or enticing new territory. Everything was just as uncertain as it was before, but the possibilities had diminished to only the bleakest, and darkest, and most dire.

He'd let his hopes and expectations soar for the briefest of moments, but he was rebuffed quickly, and brutally, as if a message from the kami.

'Not for you.'

For having the audacity to anticipate happiness, or contentment, or anything good; he would be quickly reminded why those things weren't for him. He was bred for war, and gods of war do not serve their purpose when swimming in contentment or riding high in pleasure.

He hadn't needed a reminder of his place in a very long time, but he would admit he had forgotten it. But if he was going to put the world in its place; he would need to keep his focus. If he didn't; the kami would find their own ways to encourage him.

She was still smiling at him sweetly when he sharpened his deadly glare.

"I think it would be best if you slept in your own hut."

At his cold suggestion; her inviting features fell away, leaving her pained reaction in his wake.

"Oh," she whispered sadly, not bothering to conceal her disappointment. "Okay."

She seemed shocked by his cruelty at first, but found her way to acceptance rather quickly. Perhaps the move wasn't wholly unexpected.

He garnered no pleasure - no enjoyment - from hurting her. Even knowing she'd hurt him just as badly - if not worse. But that was the point, wasn't it? If happiness was his endgame, he was going to be sorely disappointed.

Still, tormenting her was also not the point. Nor was it his vessel.

Sliding his pipe into his obi; Sesshoumaru finally stood. Kagome remained still, holding herself for warmth or comfort- it didn't matter which. Neither was his duty any longer.

She looked out across the lake, as he had been when she found him. As had been her original intention.

"We have a long journey ahead of us tomorrow." When she didn't look his way, or rise to join him; he didn't push the issue. "Get some rest, miko."

He indulged in the heavy sense of loss he felt for just a moment as he took her in. The sun had begun to set, and the colors complimented her profile unlike any other he had ever seen. She loved sunsets, and watched them often. He could remember every one they'd seen together, and exactly what it felt like to be beside her in those moments.

The urge to stay was strong, but easily disobeyed. It wouldn't be the same. It never would again.

He turned to leave without her - just the way he'd come - but her voice stopped him cold.

"Sesshoumaru..." He didn't turn around, but he waited. "I am so sorry."

Without looking at her, everything she was feeling was so easily discerned in her voice. The regret, the anguish, the fear...

It would take some time to get his composure back. To get himself back. But he would. He was still Sesshoumaru, even now. Like it, or not.

"Agreed," he offered coldly, and simply continued on his way.

* * *

After returning with the boar's tusks earlier that day, Sesshoumaru had taken Daichi aside for a private conversation. The end result saw to the village elder preparing the small room beside his own for occupancy. It was close enough for the elder to keep watch, while still offering the privacy a blossoming young woman required.

The spell Rin had been under thankfully was unharmful – in and of itself. And though it had been eons since he'd encountered it last, the old man could vaguely recall the recovery period for the affected human being swift and with relatively few complications.

It was like her existence had simply been paused, as illustrated by her lack of appetite, despite not having eaten for days, if not weeks. That didn't stop him from insisting, quite forcefully, that the girl eat each of the generous meals he'd prepared for her since she woke. Even in his human state, the Western Lord was not to be slighted. Neglecting to keep his precious ward properly nourished and looked after would be an excellent way to earn Sesshoumaru's ire, and not a chance the man was willing to take.

He'd heard many a rumor of his affection for the girl, and he could tell they had merit by the ferocity and urgency employed in her recovery mission. He was a bit surprised, however, of his notable absence pretty much since the moment she'd come to the village. He expected the young lord to refuse leaving her side, but he'd hardly been in to see her at all.

The man was terribly busy, that he well understood, but their last conversation confirmed that there was some sort of trouble he was not aware of.

But he had no qualms with monitoring the girl for him. Rin was sweet and kind, and little to no trouble. Ironically, the deep sleep of the spell had one feeling quite tired after awakening. She needed to rest and recharge and build her strength and consciousness back gradually. But after her last visit with the miko, she had become impossibly restless. He could understand how bad cabin fever was for a child, particularly one who hadn't moved much recently. So, after hearing about the girl's affinity for flowers, he led her to his own private garden to let her get some air, and stretch her legs.

The others had all been by to help keep her company at some point, save for one. Save for the only one she asked for, and every time another member of her own personal search party came to call, she was visibly disheartened to learn it was not him.

That was why when at last the tall, intimidating human was spotted approaching his property, Daichi was all too quick to point him towards the garden and make himself scarce. Hopefully, when he returned, the girl would be in better spirits.

The sun had just set, but enough light remained for weak human eyes to appreciate the impressive variety and bounty of Daichi's green thumb. Though it was winter, plant life bloomed lushly, boasting a stunning display. Deep purples looked to be made of the finest silk satin, and vibrant reds distracted the eyes, on ropes and vines that stood several feet tall.

When Sesshoumaru glimpsed Rin longingly admiring delicate while bells that appeared to stand by the thousands, he knew she would be out here until the very last light. She always loved flowers. More than simple aesthetic appreciation, something about their mere presence had always been able to ground her. No matter what was going on around them, once a field of colorful growth was discovered, her contentment was as well. The more the better, but even a single bloom managed to touch something inside the girl and soothe her restless spirit.

He'd never taken the time to indulge in such nonsense. Not before her, anyway. Any idle moments he was awarded would only be wasted on pointless endeavors. If he wasn't improving his power in some way, it was opportunity lost, and he would pay for his digression. Such things were not for him.

He never really saw what the big deal was anyway. He supposed colors could be pleasing. And symmetry was attractive. Rarities intriguing. But they held no purpose. Flowers were just something to look at, and if lounging in a bed of them wasn't going to benefit him, he did not see the point.

The miko was the same with her sunsets. Every evening if at all possible, she wished to find a peaceful place to stop and enjoy the colors provided by the sun's retreat. He didn't understand the obsession. Once he asked her why she needed to watch the same ballet she'd seen a thousand times before. She knew the ending, there were no surprises. Why the fascination?

She'd told him it brought her comfort. There was something familiar in the ritual, in knowing that no matter what was happening around her; the sun was going to set just like it always was. Right in the same spot every time; the consistency was something she appreciated. It was nice to have something to rely on.

Another time he asked her, and she told him that it was about unity. That it didn't matter where you were in the world, everybody was watching the same scene play out, at the exact same moment. She felt connected to everyone in that moment, and even if she was alone; there were millions of people doing the same thing she was doing right then. That no matter how far apart, she still could share an experience with those she cared about, and she could do it every single night.

Another time, she said it was about perspective. That even though everybody in the world was watching the exact same event, every place you were let you see it a little differently. That there was never enough time to see from every possible angle or every possible location – even if you were a demon. That she wanted to see as many as she could, so she could see what other people see. So she could find a favorite. Just in case she was missing out on something grand, or just in case she would never be in that exact spot at that exact moment ever again.

He didn't understand her at all. He didn't understand the appeal of a sunset. Another frivolous waste of his precious time. But since becoming human, he'd watched many by her side. Sometimes words were traded, sometimes not. But watching light alter his ability to perceive the world around him was inconsequential. Just because his human senses now saw things differently, it didn't mean they were. What happens now was the same thing that always happened then, no matter how it looks to him.

And Rin's flowers were an even more frivolous endeavor. They may bring her happiness for a brief moment, but they would never endure. Soon, all of those petals she spent so long gazing upon and admiring would wilt and die and then they would be gone. He supposed there was something to be said for taking the time to enjoy them while they were here. If there was any joy to be had out of those budding blooms, likely no one would get any more of it than her. She would soak them in for their brief lives while she had the chance, and then she would lose them forever. Maybe that was why she was always searching for more. Perhaps it was an addiction.

Still, while he had indeed seen flowers with his new human eyes; this was his first time seeing them through hers. He would admit, it did look different this time around. But too much had changed to judge the reasons accurately. A controlled experiment was now impossible. He had lost control.

"I know what happened to you." Rin turned to find her sullen guardian standing just inside the entrance. "And I know you do as well."

Though his façade remained impassive, she could tell he was displeased. The fear inspired by the realization was not for herself, so she joined him on both accounts as he took the first unhurried step in closing the distance between them.

"She told you?" Rin asked, not attempting to hide her irritation. Actually, it sounded suspiciously like the opposite. It was a bit of a jarring change from the girl's typical cheery cadence, and Sesshoumaru wondered if recent events were solely to blame, or if she'd simply hit some human milestone with respects to her age.

"She did not have to."

Another notable change struck him as he crossed the garden to reach her; she always came running to him. Always. But she remained still, twiddling a yellow flower he could not name down by her hip in an absent-minded way. It would have made her look childish if not for the troubled stare she wore betraying the trials of maturity. She always was an old soul, or maybe she had just seen a lot for someone so young. But now she embodied something suspended in development; halfway transitioned. He supposed he could understand.

He stopped when he reached an arm's length, and by then her agitation appeared to have left her. The progressing dusk cast shadows on already darkened features, and she drank them in with a mounting fear unlike that which he usually inspired.

She worried for him more with each second that he hesitated, and nerves began to bind. He was intense as always in the silence that stretched on, but it did nothing to break the tension when at last he finally spoke.

"I am sorry," he told her simply. "I am sorry that I failed you. You trusted me to be your protector, and you paid dearly for that trust. If I could give my life to undo it all, I would in a second. But I cannot."

His proclamation left her feeling defeated, and her slumping body posture reflected that. This was just what she was fearing, and tried so hard to avoid.

She'd never fought with him before, but something sharp and defiant had been tickling in her chest, and scratching up her throat in a maddening way.

She scowled at him.

"It's not your fault-"

"I may not have chosen to become human," he interrupted, "but I made a promise to you. Your unconditional faith in This Sesshoumaru was proven to be misplaced. It is my failing, and I will recompense for it. Even if it takes the rest of my life, know that I will."

The solemn vow was as good as a blood oath, and his air of finality set it in stone, but it wasn't what she wanted. Though his voice was as measured and calm ever, his precarious stability read like a scroll.

This unnerved her to no end, but as she held his unblinking, determined gaze; she decided she would be pleased if he left it at that. But she didn't hold her breath.

"As I am, it is clear I am unfit to remain your protector, as I cannot protect." He ignored the way she tensed, and continued sternly. "That is why I have spoken to the elder to see about taking over your care."

Her anxieties seemed forgotten as she twisted her face into a scowl.

"No."

"We must journey back to Inuyasha's forest; it is a matter of great importance." He continued on as if he hadn't heard her. "But once we are through-"

"No," she repeated, balling her fists and shaking her head.

"We will return here, and-"

"No!" she threw back again, raising her voice this time. "I'm not staying here. I'm staying with you."

He narrowed his eyes at her, and his tone became a touch firmer.

"I'm afraid that is no longer an option for you." Rin crossed her arms petulantly and purposefully averted her gaze in frustration. This was new territory for him – with her, at least. But he certainly wasn't unpracticed arguing with human females. The tears he saw beginning to well did terrible things to his chest, however. He wouldn't budge on this, of course, though he did soften slightly.

"I would wish for nothing more," he assured her so gently he immediately earned back her attention. Eyes widened a bit in disbelief at tones she was unaccustomed to. "but I was a fool to bring you with me; to endanger you like that. I will not make that mistake again."

Lifting his chin; he forced himself not to react as she wiped a rouge tear from her eye.

"So you're just going to dump me off at some human village?"

"It is for your own good," he insisted superiorly. "You are not safe with me."

"I am not safe anywhere," she countered. "There are bad people everywhere." He was taken aback by her humorless laugh, and her sudden mocking tone. "You can't protect me from the world, Sesshoumaru-sama."

Violet eyes narrowed down steeply in her direction.

"Not anymore," he confirmed, and she frowned. "I am a human who used to be a demon; you do not belong with me."

"I do not belong anywhere," she immediately answered, gesturing to him. "Neither do you; neither do any of us."

His confusion gave her the leeway to continue making her point.

"Kagome is a miko from the future," she began. "Miroku is an unholy monk. Sango is a demon slayer who is in love with a half demon, and Inuyasha is that half demon." He remained silent, but her sudden grave expression did unpleasant things to him. "And I am an undead orphan who runs with demons. We don't belong anywhere, so we belong together. If we don't, we will belong nowhere."

She argued with passion and conviction, and he didn't know how to respond to it. But his posture remained stiff, as if prepared to take a blow at any moment.

"I'm a misfit outcast just like you, and I always will be." He raised an eyebrow at her assessment, but said nothing. "And I'm not going to stay in some normal village just because you want to shield me from danger. There is no such thing, and I wouldn't want it anyway."

He was starting to wonder if it really wasn't his humanity which emboldened defiance from mortal women. He was sure having a rough time getting them to fall in line lately.

He had become accustomed to it from the miko, but he wasn't prepared for this from Rin. Perhaps he was releasing some pheromone that told them his recourse was proving insufficient.

"I belong with you, so that's where I'm going to be," she told him in no-nonsense terms. "And if you don't like it, tough. You're just going to have to be stuck with me."

He had a flashback to the compound where Kagome had told him something similar. Verbatim, if he wasn't mistaken. What the hell was wrong with them?

He was telling them he couldn't protect them, in no uncertain terms. He'd even resulted to pleading with them, but it was an order they just refused to follow. Sometimes it felt like he was the only one looking out for their best interests. Did they not trust him in this? Or did they simply not care?

He sneered.

"Foolish, infuriating woman. Do you not fear for your safety?"

"No, I don't."

She wasn't through with her answer when he'd realized his slip. He'd never thought of her as a woman, never referred to her as one. But she was bearing striking resemblance to the only other one he really knew.

He realized in that moment that it slid out so easily because it was the truth. She was a woman now, for all intents and purposes. A very young one, for certain, but a woman all the same. It meant things he'd known subconsciously were being forced to the surface, and that meant he would need to begin taking more appropriate measures. His own denial had left him unprepared.

"You should." He struggled to keep his stern tone, and failed a moment when it softened without his consent. "I do."

She followed suit, backing down from her aggressive posture.

"I know," she assured him gently. "I also know you didn't want any of this to happen, and it isn't your fault that it did. I do not blame you."

They shared a lingering glance; they communicated well enough in silence much of the time. But Rin was fluent enough in Sesshoumaru to interpret his words as well.

"You should." 'I do'

His regret and shame were unfamiliar, but easy to pick up on, and there was little she could do about it; he was so stubborn.

She huffed in exasperation. "I just want to go home," she whined. "After all I've been through; you won't deny me that."

"Don't you see? There is no home." She flashed him a worried glance, looking to his resentful features for confirmation. He granted it. "Not anymore. What do you think they will do when they find out I am an average human man?"

She'd admit; she hadn't given it much thought. She wasn't used to Sesshoumaru not being able to go where he pleased. She certainly wasn't used to him having to demur to the will of others. But it wouldn't be this way forever.

"After you change back-"

"I am not changing back," he bit harshly. "I am doomed to live out my days human."

The news surprised her, but she recovered quickly with a wry smirk. "It isn't as bad as you make it out to be."

He deigned to look guilty; he had not intended the slight. But that wasn't his point, and he needed her to grasp it.

"Even if I was able to change back; what do you think they would do to you?" The concern she displayed then made him grit his teeth. "You do not have to think; you know exactly what they will do. And then, they will kill you."

His threat finally registered, and he relished only that before brown eyes became sorrowful an instant later.

"You are a woman now," he acknowledged, making her cheeks turn pink. "of breeding age. You are now old enough to be a threat to my lands; to me."

Her embarrassment was forgotten instantly at the idea of being considered any sort of threat.

"My father kept a human woman," he reminded her, "and they killed her, and him, and her child. They will do the same to you, or any woman I show favor to within those walls." Eyes grew wide at his grim assessment, and his confidence. "And next time; Tenseiga will not be able to help you. You are lucky those tigers were too stupid to kill you."

"Yeah, real lucky," she answered with a petulant scoff. "They were too stupid to kill you too."

"Indeed." He couldn't agree more. They should have cut his throat, rather than relying on the river to take care of him. That hubris cost them big, though not nearly enough, in his opinion. "If this is what luck has in store for us; I should not like to test it further."

It was the first time he'd heard her laugh in over a month, and it warmed him through and through. Many things had changed about her, but she still had the same pure laughter that was so uniquely hers. He hoped that never changed.

She saw the corners of his mouth threatening to twitch up, but he was able to hold back. It was all in his eyes, though. That made her relax, and he seemed to do the same.

"So," she wondered after a moment, "where are you going to go then?"

She didn't know if he was thinking up an answer, or deciding whether to tell her. Either way, it didn't take long.

"I will follow this pack back to my brother's village. After that... I do not know."

He had to get Rin to the well, that was certain. But now that it looked like he was going to be this way a good, long while; he needed a new plan.

He hadn't discounted remaining with this pack indefinitely, but it was not the easy call it would have been just this morning. The truth was; he didn't know what he wanted to do.

As much as he wanted to forgive Kagome, it was far too early to determine whether he could. Either way, he wouldn't make any decisions before giving some thought to his options.

Luckily, they had a sizable journey back home, and that would give him time to come up with a plan.

Rin seemed satisfied with his answer - despite the ambiguity - and offered a resolute nod.

"Okay. When do we leave?"

He held her determined gaze a moment as he thought things over.

This matter was far from settled; he would not change his mind. Now that Rin was back, he had to find her somewhere safe to stay so no more of his enemies could harm her. It was only a matter of time before they started figuring it out, but his brief appearance in the North the other night bought him a little more time.

Regardless, he had to get her near the well first. After that was handled, he could make arrangements. This village was very safe and protected – that was why he liked it for her. But it was farther north than he preferred. There were plenty of human villages in his lands, he only hoped they remained safe if... when...

Then again, maybe it didn't matter. Once he was ousted – killed, most likely, as he would not concede defeat – whomever took control might change everything. Depending on his successor – and their allies – humankind may find themselves decidedly less welcome the Western Lands, or anywhere.

Perhaps he should choose someone now, to at least preserve order as best he could. He hated the idea of handing over control, but he was of no use in such a position now, and he couldn't hide forever. Nor should he.

He needed an ally who was either strong enough or connected enough to vanquish any challenger to their claim, who could keep peace with the humans and generally not fuck the whole thing up.

It was a very tall order, if even possible. He would have to give it some thought.

Rin remained unwavering, but hopeful in her demand. She wouldn't win them all, but he would give her this one.

"Dawn."

It was almost too dark to see the dazzling grin she flashed him, and before he knew it; she'd lunged forward, wrapping her arms around his middle and nearly knocking him back a step.

She'd never done anything so bold with him before, but all things considered; how could he refuse?

She couldn't make a habit of it, but deep down, he was relieved to still hold her affections. For now, at least, so he saw no harm in indulging.

She squeezed her cheek tightly against his unarmored torso, and he slowly encompassed her around the shoulders. Clawless fingertips raked through raven black hair, and held her firmly against himself through the duration of the embrace.

"I am sorry," he whispered after a long, wordless moment.

After a pause, she answered back.

"I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me hurt you. Healing feels so good.
> 
> As of today, I am now old enough to run for US president... just in time too lol. Give me an awesome birthday by dropping some reviews! Thanks for a great year! You guys have been a huge part of it.


	32. Kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The abortion pill (RU486) is going to be mentioned in this chapter, and I'm trying to do it in a dark humor kind of way, so I just wanted you to be prepared for that. Also, my world (this world, right here) is operating like a parallel universe where modern day Japan's healthcare system, law enforcement, and social climate resemble that of the U.S. If you typically read the a/n's in my stories, I think you can guess why XD.
> 
> This chapter will be different from all the other chapters, so don't get used to it =)

Despite the warm, thick flannel of her down sleeping bag; Kagome woke up shivering.

The fire they'd built was still blazing hard, but the floor in the back of the deep cave was ice cold, and seeping through her layers. Already too close to the roaring flames for complete comfort; she gathered the material in her fists and scooted herself like an inchworm until reaching its heated perimeter.

She really missed Shippo in times like these. The little kit was always good for a snuggle, and right now; the courtesy would serve her well for more than simply boosting her body temperature.

But she was glad he wasn't here. She was actually grateful he got to miss out on this miserable little misadventure. Enough of her loved ones had been wrangled into this unfortunate journey, and with a stretch; she sat up in her bag and took a cursory inventory.

It was rare to find every one of her companions asleep at the same time, seeing as most of them were demon. But even Inuyasha, who made a point to stay up most nights and keep watch, was dead to the world – cuddled up cutely with Sango in his arms with his fire rat draped over them both. The miko didn't blame him one bit.

It hadn't yet been a week, but they were already at the halfway point on their journey home, and the speed and forgoing that it required to make such impressive time was obviously taking its toll.

The way up North required them to stop in each village – often for more than one day – to seek out their information from the townspeople. Not to mention, they'd only had Kirara to carry them. Now, with Ah-Un sharing her burden; it put less strain on the fire cat and allowed for faster travel as they skipped over towns – and often meals and sleep – in order to get back as quickly as possible. It was a rough itinerary, but no one was complaining. They all wanted to be home, like, yesterday.

Against the back wall; Jaken dozed beside the two-headed dragon with Rin sleeping up top, and beneath a hefty pile luxurious furs brought along for the occasion. Miroku took advantage of a fully transformed Kirara – her body heat likely providing him more warmth than the cheap blankets he slept under. Naturally, he'd invited Kagome to join him for 'safety purposes,' and naturally; she'd declined. But now, she was beginning to regret that decision. That left her alone in her bag, dangerously close to roasting herself in the back of the dreary cave.

Only one person was missing, and it didn't take much wondering to correctly predict where he was. When she concentrated; she could scent the now-familiar aroma of opium burning over the dominant smell of the fire, and frowned.

It had become a daily occurrence to catch Sesshoumaru taking advantage of the painkiller, not that he was trying in any way to hide it. Nobody else seemed at all concerned with the ex-dog demon's new habit, but she was becoming increasingly worried. Not that she didn't completely understand it.

The guy was hurting, inside and out, and for several painful and obvious reasons. She didn't doubt that the drug was responsible for allowing him to continue on with his typical apathetic demeanor. He had endured a lot of heartbreak, and was under a lot of stress, so she had made a deal with herself to give him some time and let him cope as he saw fit. But after the first few days; she had started to worry that his momentary escape might be more than that.

She worried that perhaps he had just given up all together.

Sesshoumaru was good at acting like he didn't care, but she knew that's what it was – an act. Now, she wasn't so sure. She had become concerned that once they took care of Rin's _problem;_ he was resigned to simply run out the clock on his short human life as detached from it as he could possibly be.

He still remained certain that nothing could be done about his situation, but she hadn't given up hope. Kagome had vowed to fix him at all cost, and that's what she would do – even if it took the rest of her life.

But nothing could be done about it right now. And as the long days of travel offered very little by way of obligation or entertainment; she could see how he might not see any harm in numbing himself out for the duration of the trip.

In his view, he couldn't fight off any attackers – not that there were any – so their protection was mostly left to Inuyasha and Sango. All he had to do was sit stoically atop his dragon, and wait until they were tired enough or hungry enough to land.

Yes, the days were uneventful, and also silent. At least, on their little vessel. Despite his displeasure with her; she had been invited to ride with him, Rin and Jaken on Ah-Un for the duration of the journey. But even though not outrightly expressed; it was clear the reason for that was that he needed her to get through the well, so he ensured they wouldn't be separated. It also didn't hurt to have someone aboard to watch Rin, and keep her entertained and engaged. He was still obviously discomfited by her presence, therefore didn't speak to or acknowledge her unless it was necessary. With Kagome; it was even worse.

She'd long given up trying to engage the Western Lord in conversation, and he made it easy to ignore her by sitting up front, cross-legged on his beast. Jaken held up the back end to keep an eye on his charge, while the two human girls sat astride and with mostly themselves to keep company.

But when she took note that every time they landed, he would part from the group to indulge in his budding addiction; she finally gathered the nerve to approach him about it.

She didn't get too preachy. Just gently offered her concerns, as well as some statistics and information to support her claims, but her warnings went unheeded. She knew he was listening, but responded with little more than the occasional monosyllabic noises she was fast becoming reacquainted with. After a couple of tries; she decided to drop it.

The funny thing was, when he was high; he was almost in no way any different to his previously cold, nonverbal self. The only change was in his eyes.

A flash of lightning drew her attention to the far-off mouth of the cave, illuminating his sitting profile just inside. The boom of thunder was late and distant, letting her know the storm was passing, but rain still fell in sheets. It was likely the reason he wasn't out there now.

She only hesitated a moment before she decided to rise, and with another glance around at her sleeping companions; she began to close the long stretch between them in hopes of closing another.

It was now on-brand again when she claimed the seat at his side and he didn't acknowledge her. Just inside the mouth of the cave; pools of violent rainwater were gathering only inches from his knees. He was looking off into the turbulent darkness with his unaffected cadence, and brought the pipe to his lips once more – no doubt to flaunt his blatant disregard for her wishes, at least in part.

Gazing thoughtfully at his profile; she wished desperately to jump inside his head and climb around for even a moment. Maybe then she would know what to say.

Anything she concocted seemed so terribly insufficient, and she wondered if there was anything now that wouldn't be.

Regardless, she was not a quitter. She was, however, beginning to discover she was a masochist.

"How do I tell you how sorry I am?" she asked. A gentle, desperate plea that would go unanswered once again. He hadn't even indicated he'd heard her.

She had endeavored to give him time – as much as he needed to forgive her. But though it had only been a handful of days; his ongoing silence continued to push her out even further. She knew if she wasn't careful; he would lock himself beyond her reach forever.

Or perhaps she was just impatient. At this point, she would settle for a complete sentence from the man. Anything.

"Please, tell me how to make it right."

But he wouldn't even look her way. Somehow, it was worse than when he was being cruel to her. At least he acknowledged she existed back then.

She was used to his sharp tongue; she could work with that. This indifference... it wasn't indifference at all. It took _work_ for him to be so aloof with her, considering how close they had been.

"I will do literally anything you want."

Large, pleading blue eyes burned into him intensely, looking for any fleeting sign of acknowledgement. But instead; he simply lifted the opium pipe to his tempting mouth, and blew another hit of potent smoke out into the heavy rain. She softened her approach.

"Can you at least talk to me? Yell at me, or something." Her eyes remained on him for another long beat.

"What would be the point?" he finally asked. Not even a glassy pupil slid in her direction, but the sound of his low baritone let her muscles relax just a little.

"Catharsis?" she tried hopefully. "Penance? Maybe a learning opportunity? Anything would be better than the cold shoulder." Her appeal looked to becoming unsuccessful, and she let just a fraction of her sadness show. It was still quite a lot. "You're acting like you don't care about me at all again, and I refuse to believe that's the case."

She became foolishly optimistic when he appeared to consider her request, only to have it beat back down in favor of returning to his precious pipe. She was gentle in her tenacity.

"Let's just talk. Tell me anything you want; I'm all ears."

As the last of the smoke left his lips; she boldly placed a hand on his arm, and tilted her head to reach his periphery. This felt like her last chance.

"Sesshoumaru..."

"Wishing on the jewel was a careless mistake, and you as its keeper should have known better." She was so pleased to have him speak to her that she nearly forgot to brace herself for an onslaught.

"It was a gross dereliction of your duty and hints at ineptitude." She refused to react, even if it was to agree with him. She was rewarded when his gaze finally drifted down to her, and she was afraid to move.

"But it was an accident," he easily conceded, as if it was nothing. "One I am fully confident you did not intend on making. And if that were the end of it; I would have been upset, but could have found my way to forgiving you quickly."

His eyebrows knitted in displeasure, accompanied by the faintest of scowls, and she knew what was coming next. As bad as the crime was, the coverup had somehow been worse.

"What makes me sick with outrage is the weeks of deception that followed," he added harshly. He straightened his back, and she didn't doubt it was to look down at her as far as he could through half-lidded eyes. He even lifted his nose in distaste. "You knew very well what happened to me, yet did not see fit to inform This One. Day after day, you continued to feign ignorance as I projected my intentions to return to my demon form, knowing full well it could not be done. Playing me for a fool. Insulting my intelligence and patronizing me."

She lifted her downtrodden gaze in a start. Most of what he said was true, but she had no idea he could never turn back. She had explained it to him before.

"I didn't-"

"Had I known," he continued sharply, "I could have begun making plans to reverse the wish – _if_ it were possible - or preparing myself for humanity in the long term... as it were. Your ongoing deceit delayed me unnecessarily, wasting time and energy that could have been spent more efficiently."

It was hard to hear her sins recounted and seconded, so she dropped her eyes in reflective shame. But she could feel it when he turned to face her fully, and she forced through the pain to meet his burning glare. She found more hurt and anger there than she had been expecting him to show.

"Though the worst of it all is how you displayed such an insulting lack of faith in This Sesshoumaru. You did not trust me to accept the information in an appropriate fashion. You did not trust that I could be reasonable, and forgiving to a woman I cared for. And each day that passed, my regard for you only grew, and your lies only bolstered."

He didn't bring up Rin. He didn't need to. Which was good, because she doubted he even could at the moment. It was likely that a good deal of that opium was meant to push that consequence of her wish as far back in his mind as humanly possible.

No, these grievances were more personal; more direct. This was strictly between them.

"I thought you knew me better than anyone; believed that you actually understood, but I was wrong on both accounts." With a humorless smile; Sesshoumaru shook his head slightly. "I must really be a fool."

Biting her tongue; Kagome restrained herself from telling him he was wrong. He wasn't looking for comfort or confirmation, certainly not from her. She begged to hear his piece, and she would let him say it uninterrupted.

When those injured violet eyes returned however, she nearly asked him to stop.

"You had my complete and utter devotion, and you violated it so brutally; I do not see how I could ever truly trust you again." He forced some firmness back into his features. "Not like I had. I _loathe_ how you made me care for you, and I loathe even more how you made me a fool for it."

He seemed just as baffled by his own actions as he was with hers, and divided his vast anger between them equally.

"You had me poised and ready to discard everything I had ever known just to be by your side, only to stun me with the revelation of how blinded I had become. I have always been so certain of everything, but you make me doubt myself and every judgement I have ever made. If I could so terribly misjudge the one I held to me the closest, how can I trust myself at all? I cannot."

She was sure the anguish in her bloodshot eyes at least matched his own, and she briefly wondered if it was as hard for him to hold her gaze in that moment as it was for her.

"That is the worst thing you took from me, Kagome," he informed her, his tone softening a touch. "Not my youki, not my lands, not even Rin. You took my sense of self. If I do not know you; I do not know This One."

He could see she was losing the battle with her impending tears, so he returned to his previous position; staring out into the dark with his feeble human eyes. He began to lift his pipe once more.

"It that what you wished me to tell you?"

His monotone was back, devoid of all emotion. His face was as well, and stayed that way as she rose to retreat back to the safety of her bag, for whatever meager comforts it would offer. She would get none from him.

When he returned to the fire sometime later to salvage a portion of his sleep; he broke a promise to himself and let his gaze wander down to the miko's sleeping bag. Despite being near enough to the flames to singe her eyebrows; her slumbering form trembled visibly within the lush material.

He remembered how toasty that bag had been while he was in it. Of course; he wasn't alone, as she was now. Without their clothes; pale skin warmed and flushed, and became slick with sweat where their flesh pressed together. Her touch burned then, but in a pleasant way.

And he'd assumed she couldn't scold him in this form...

She'd saved his life that night, despite their history, despite his attempts on her life. Despite his wishes even, and her better judgement. She'd saved him anyway, just because she could. Or so he'd thought.

It had bothered him at first; confused him. Why this human girl whom he'd lashed out against repeatedly would put herself in peril rather than leave him for dead was a mystery to him. He was instantly wary once he'd learned what she had done, and he'd spent the first portion of their reacquaintance trying to determine why. Why did she do such a thing? What was she after?

He'd reached several conclusions, all of which turned out to be wrong, until finally; he conceded to her only proffered motive.

She simply wished to help him. That was it.

It made no sense to him, but she rarely did. So after a few weeks getting to know the woman better; he finally surrendered and took her at her word. But he was wrong again.

She had not been acting out of selfless good-will, as she proclaimed. She was settling a debt. In this, she was more like him than he'd considered.

She may have dug him from of the snow out of some twisted sense of mortal obligation, but everything after that was only meant to make them even, or perhaps assuage her guilt.

Bringing him into her pack, taking him under their protection, recruiting her friends and escorting him to the Northern Lands... all of it was recompense for what she had done. He was like this because of her; Rin had been taken. Making him whole was her responsibility, just as letting her and her friends keep their lives was his.

It was somewhat comforting, knowing she wasn't as good as he'd been forced to believe. It made him feel better for how he'd behaved, and thought – particularly about humans – for most his life. He thought he'd been wrong about them.

She was far from the worst of them. In fact, he would still hold her up as one of their best examples. But she was not completely selfless. She did things for reasons, just like demons did. She operated transactionally, just as they all did.

But he was very uncomfortable with the disappointment he felt as well. He allowed himself to believe that this miko simply desired his wellbeing, and took actions to make it so, and he hated how warm it made him to believe it. He hated how cold, and foolish it felt to be proven otherwise.

The knowledge soured everything about their time together, and he hated how that bothered him so much.

He continued to watch her shiver, knowing he could repay her initial kindness right now by returning the favor. Honor would dictate he do as such, and then his debt would be wiped clean.

But as far as he was concerned, his debt was null and void. She had been the one who owed him a life. Two, actually. And without his knowledge; she had been attempting to pay it right under his nose this whole time. He owed her nothing any longer, and his conscience would not fight him his time.

He pulled his gaze from her, and strode past the freezing girl to rejoin _his_ pack. An assessing look at Rin left him satisfied, and he plucked one of the abundance of furs from the pile for himself, and slept like a baby.

* * *

They reached Kaede's Village in well under a fortnight – only a fraction of the time they took getting up there. When they landed; Miroku made a show of kissing the ground while Inuyasha rushed off to find the old miko in her hut down the way.

The snow had receded a bit, telling them that the storms had stopped, but when Kagome rushed to the girls' hut to unload her pack; she could see they had not made it out of the winter unscathed. At least, her hut hadn't.

A portion of her roof had collapsed under the weight of the snow, making a decent mess of things. It was not the warm welcome she had been hoping for, but that would just have to get in line behind all of her other pressing problems at the moment.

Sesshoumaru seemed about as low on sympathy as he was on patience, so she emptied most of her bag quickly and rejoined him atop Ah-Uh. Rin stayed back with Jaken – her lord assured her he'd be back – and in no time; they were standing face-to-face beside the magic well.

She looked into its depths to find a good deal of snow remained inside, but was willing to be pleased it hadn't frozen over. She didn't know what would happen if she returned to the past only to be trapped behind a thick barrier of ice.

Placing her hand on the ledge; she wasn't sure if she was happy or sad to be leaving now. On the one hand; she was eager to get out of there, away from her failures and those she had failed, away from her problems, and right into a nice, hot shower.

But on the other; she did not have a pleasant task before her. This respite would not be a respite at all, merely an escape into another unfavorable situation.

'Out of the frying pan, but into the fire.'

At least it would be a change of scenery, but she just wanted to skip to the part where she was back and everything was fixed again.

Sesshoumaru's words rang in her ear then as she recalled her first kata lessons. Receiving your ends without withstanding the means robs you of the growth and improvement that would serve you down the road. If there was any good to come from all of this; that was going to be it and it was going to be now, so she vowed to suck it up and derive what she could.

She looked back up to see him staring at her passionlessly; simply waiting. She adjusted her much lighter pack strapped to her much dirtier sleeping bag more comfortably on her shoulders, and sighed.

"I don't know how long it will be," she admitted, "but I'll come back as soon as I get it."

"See that you do."

That appeared to be all she was going to get from him, but she couldn't bring herself to leave just yet. She continued to look up at the former demon lord, and something troubling struck her.

"Wouldn't it be sad if this was the last time we saw other?"

He sneered distastefully, but when he spoke; he sounded surprised. And dangerous.

"Is that a threat?"

"No!" she answered, eyes wide at the accusation. "of course not; I'm not bailing out on you. But the well's magic only _lets_ me come back." She cast another somber look down into the snowy pit. "Every time I go; I am always afraid it will be the last time the portal opens for me. One day, it might not let me come back to you."

She looked into his eyes as she relayed her biggest fear. If it was one he shared; he didn't show it.

"It's just a bad practice to leave on bad terms. If you never saw me again after this, wouldn't you regret it? Wouldn't you live your life wishing we at least told each other how much we cared, so we both knew that we both knew?"

She knew he wouldn't lie to her, so her question held hope. He considered her a moment with his intimidating glare.

"Perhaps," he finally conceded, "but thanks to you; my life of regret will at least not be terribly long."

She supposed that was a silver lining, but still frowned regardless.

"Well, I don't want to spend my life regretting this moment, no matter how short it is; so I'm going to tell you."

Receiving no objection counted as permission, and gave her confidence to proceed. So she squared herself, took a breath, and looked deep into his eyes.

"Sesshoumaru, I will never forgive myself for what I did to you. For what happened to Rin. I regret it all so much, and I hope one day you will forgive me."

'Is that all?' his look seemed to say in the ensuing silence, but unfortunately, it wasn't.

"But I will never regret getting to know you these past weeks. You showed me things about you, and about myself, and about the world that I never imagined possible. Wonderful things." Her sorrow drifted seamlessly into a bittersweet reverence, and she gentled. "You just have a way of doing that to people, and I'm so grateful you did that for me."

Her small smile was genuine as she recalled more pleasant memories. She didn't let his lack of interest dampen their effect on her as she lifted her clasped hands to her chest.

"I am thankful to you for every moment we shared, and I will cherish every one of them; even the bad ones, and the hard ones. Even this moment right now." Her assurances were given with confidence as she poured her heart out to him, and she set her determined features once more.

"You will never know how much you mean to me, and always will. No matter what happens; I hope you forgive yourself. I hope you realize just how amazing you are. Being human has diminished nothing about you, no matter what you think."

She meant that too. Because she knew no matter how much he thought he hated her right now; he hated himself even more. That wasn't a new development, either. Even before his change; the aristocratic assassin's not so well-kept secret was that it was all a front - overcompensation.

Nobody hated him as much as he did, and the behavior he projected was a reflection of that. He didn't treat others the way he wanted to be treated, but the way he felt he deserved. It was only now that she was able to see it.

"I care about you," she told him sincerely. "So many people care about you, and I don't even think you know it. You should know it. You say you don't know what love is, but look around. Just look at the way your friends look at you, and you will know."

He didn't seem to appreciate her kind assessment, but it was possible he was just uncomfortable with it. Holding to that, she prompted him.

"Is there anything you want to say to me?" She forced a weak smile. "Last chance..."

She held her breath when he leveled her with a long, considering glare. Foolish hope sprung in her chest that he would give her something – anything – to keep her warm and soothe her pains and uncertainties in the precarious days ahead.

It was true; she might never get to come back. That was always a risk of leaving her friends, just as it always was leaving her family to get to them. But never had that looming threat weighed so heavily in her breast. Not only for her friends, not only for him, but for Rin too. If she failed her again, it would affect the rest of the young girl's life. A lot was riding on this journey, but that seemed to be a recurring theme lately. There was always one more thing she needed to do to make it all okay. Or at least better.

Why was it always on her? It was a crushing amount of pressure.

But she would take it on, and a few kind words from him now would make it much less treacherous. Maybe she could even sleep.

But when he freed her from his intense focus in favor of the more interesting tree line; it registered as dismissal, and that hope shattered.

"Do not dally," he ordered coldly. "Rin is waiting. Do not cause her any more harm than you already have."

It wasn't wholly unexpected, but she was crestfallen all the same.

"Okay," she replied softly; sad, and resigned.

She peered into the well again before throwing a final glance over her shoulder. "Goodbye, Sesshoumaru."

That appeared to be that. She knew a kiss was too much to hope for, but would have gladly settled for a hug. It was clearly not to be, so she hurled herself into the portal, hoping desperately it would not be the last time she saw him.

Sesshoumaru watched the telltale flash of magic light that would swallow her away from him, and abruptly turned on his heel.

He wasn't at all shocked at the way his bones hollowed out once she was absent from his plane, but he did his best to ignore the crippling emptiness of having the miko truly not exist.

* * *

The mother-daughter reunion was as relieved and heartfelt as always, and as always; Kagome expressed her need to shower before filling the older woman in on her latest adventure. Before she made the beeline, however; Mrs. Higurashi took note of how the high school student began her load of laundry instead of merely dropping it off as usual, prompting a quick rehashing of their last conversation.

"Did you make use of the items I gave you last time?" her mother nicely asked. Realizing what she meant; Kagome turned into a tomato.

"Mom! I told you not to talk to me about sex toys anymore!"

"What about the condoms?" she demanded, blocking the doorway to prevent the embarrassed girl's retreat. "Did you use them like I asked?"

Instinct demanded indignance, but that hadn't worked well with her mother in the past. Besides, she was just too tired to fight right now. It wasn't like she had anything to hide.

"No." At her mother's concerned look, Kagome huffed. "You'll be pleased to know; I never needed them. And the way things are going, I doubt I am going to."

Her mother softened significantly at her downtrodden expression.

"Want to talk about it?" she asked hopefully, and Kagome seemed to consider it.

The old washer spun noisily, banging lightly against the wall and filling up the awkward silence. Finally, the young woman leaned forward to rest her elbows atop the machine.

"The truth is, I was getting close to someone," she admitted. Mrs. H didn't seem surprised. "But I blew it. Now we're on a break, and I don't know if he likes me like that anymore."

"But you still like him?" her mother demanded. "Like _that_?"

Cheeks pinkened at the serious question, and the implications.

"Yes. But-"

"Then I'm making you an appointment right now." Kagome looked on in confusion as her mother pulled a cell phone from her pocket. The older style clamshell was actually a huge upgrade in technology for her, and Kagome took note. "While you're here, I need to make sure you get on birth control."

She watched her scroll determinedly through her list of contacts before finding what she needed, and lifting the phone to her ear.

Kagome was still embarrassed at the topic, but this wasn't completely unexpected. Her mother told her the last time they spoke what she had planned.

Still, with how things had turned out; she couldn't help but be a little bitter at the good chance it was all for naught. "You're more optimistic than I am."

"Perhaps more cautious," she countered, and Kagome blushed guiltily. "But I don't doubt any boy lucky enough to win your heart won't be eager to take it. I just hope he is worth it."

Kagome scoffed moodily. "If either of us in unworthy, it isn't him."

Her mother frowned as she held the phone to her ear, until the other end finally answered. When they did, she walked out of the room to make the appointment.

As she waited; Kagome supposed the woman was right to worry. She nearly cringed when she thought about how close she had come to doing exactly what her mother was trying to prevent. She didn't even know what happened to those condoms, but they never once crossed her mind as Sesshoumaru tried to penetrate her with that ridiculously huge cock of his, at her quite insistent encouragement.

If he had; she could very well be in the same boat as Rin right now. She supposed she should feel lucky, but she just didn't.

"Alright, I got you an appointment tomorrow afternoon," her mother announced proudly as she reentered the room. Kagome pushed up from the machine she was leaning on.

"That was fast. Somebody owe you a favor or something?"

Mrs. Hirguashi smiled. "Dr. Takahashi is always willing to squeeze you in, luckily."

The miko instantly paled at the familiar name, and panicked.

"Dr. Takahashi? Mom! I want a woman doctor for this! Or at least, someone I don't know personally."

"I'm sorry dear," she said dismissively, turning to leave. "but beggars can't be choosers on such short notice. And he is a very good doctor; you will be fine."

Kagome buried her face in her hands, and wondered what she had done so terribly in a previous life to warrant so much misfortune in this one. She hoped it was at least worth it.

After a moment, she heard her mother calling from down the hall.

"Now go take your shower! I want to hear all about your travels."

At least a shower would be good.

She indulged in a long, pained whine, but did as her mother said.

* * *

After a brief reunion – and even briefer discussion – Kaede had reorganized her modest hut to accommodate their new young member. It was agreed that Rin would stay with the old miko, and take up under her tutelage for the duration of her stay there – however long it may be.

She was gone at the moment – preforming a short ceremony for another elderly villager who unfortunately did not survive the winter cold. He had no other family, so the hut he had occupied just a short distance away was left to Kaede to tend to. Seeing as their group had grown - and one of their huts was currently uninhabitable - she had offered it to Inuyasha and Sango.

The taijiya was clearing it out and moving them in, while Miroku and Inuyasha got to work repairing the roof in the womens' old hut. That left Sesshoumaru, who was taking advantage of the old miko's absence to make use of her home and try his first hand at preparing a human meal for Rin... and the others.

Kagome had given him quite a few lessons by this point, and with Jaken taking orders; he was confident he could make something that was more than simply edible.

Rin watched on, endlessly pleased as the imp feverishly peeled and chopped root vegetables for the various boiling pots, while her lord meticulously combined herbs to disperse between his various sauces, and the meat he'd prepared.

Sesshoumaru insisted she pay attention so that she may perform the duties herself in the future, but she got the feeling she wasn't the only one enjoying the way he tended to her. It was a welcomed comfort after their harrowing separation.

With the last of the meal set to boil; Jaken was sent out to inform the others to be ready to eat in an hour. Sesshoumaru cleaned up what little mess he'd made, and readied his workspace for assembling the final product.

She gazed on in admiration, thrilled to simply be back with him again; back where she was supposed to be. Seeing him be human was... different, but it didn't change the way she felt about him. He was still Sesshoumaru-sama.

But she did notice little changes in him, and they were more glaring to her than the superficial ones everyone else seemed to be distracted by.

She'd spent a lot of time admiring him over the years. Fawning. Studying. And now that the miko was gone - the younger one - one obvious difference was impossible to deny.

"Why do you hate Kagome-sama?"

She saw him falter out of the corner of her eye as she deceptively inspected her broken nails, but he quickly corrected and finished wiping down his table.

"What makes you say that?" he asked after a moment.

He continued with his task - pointedly not looking at her - and tried to sound just as disinterested as she was pretending to be.

Rin shrugged. "You just seem like you do."

He frowned, and began arranging his knives next. Unnecessarily, Rin surmised.

"I do not."

"She thinks you do." She was openly staring at him now, studying again. If he felt her heavy gaze upon him; he didn't let on.

"That is not my problem."

"Yes, it is." Her sharp defiance and confidence finally earned his attention, but he said nothing. "If she thinks you hate her; she won't know you love her."

And just like that; he relieved her of his attention once more, scoffing as he did so.

"I do not know what love is," he insisted, almost automatically. He couldn't help feeling foolish at engaging this way with a child. With her, in particular.

His short time as a human had certainly changed them both, but he wondered how much of it was simply human aging in her case. Either way; it was going to take some getting used to, to regard her as something resembling an adult. He had a feeling it was only going to get worse as she grew, if the miko was any indication of things to come.

He never would have indulged her like this in the past, but a combination of guilt, humanity, and relief in having her back rendered him much more permissive than he would have been. It wouldn't last though; he was certain.

"Oh, well let me tell you," she offered graciously, her tone rife with mockery as she suddenly stood. "You know the way you feel about Kagome? It's that."

He scowled, no more impressed with her unprecedented disrespect than her unjustified confidence. She was just a child. She didn't know what she was talking about.

"You are mistaken."

She frowned right back at his assessment, but instead of reprimanding her; he simply turned to go busy himself in his chore once again.

As he crossed the room; she was hot on his heel.

"You don't hate her; you're just really mad at her." He didn't show any signs of hearing her, so Rin continued after him. "You're mad because you trusted her and she let you down. You left yourself vulnerable and she hurt you, and now you want to close yourself off to protect yourself from that pain."

Still ignoring her - back still turned - he rifled through the cutlery the miko had brought from the future for them all to use. Crouching low; he sifted through the strange items, but it didn't appear he knew what he was looking for.

"It's not worth it," Rin continued, undeterred by his lack of response. "If it was, nobody would risk the pain of being in love. But you are lying to yourself if you believe you would rather go the rest of your life without her just to spare yourself some pain. And everyone knows Sesshoumaru-sama doesn't lie. He also isn't afraid of pain."

He could hear her smiling, and couldn't help but cease his pointless searching as she spoke. He didn't turn around, but he remained still another moment. She did not waste the opportunity.

"If you want to torture yourself, _that's_ your problem. But you're torturing her too, and her pain hurts you more, so it's just this endless cycle of pain that only you can stop. But you have to stop it."

When she crouched beside him, he finally turned. Her eyes appeared to have aged 100 years from when he'd seen her last, and despite how uncomfortable that made him; he couldn't look away.

"Kagome told me about the wish."

It wasn't a complete surprise. She'd told the others, after all. But due to her age; Sesshoumaru wasn't certain which of the pack affairs the girl would be made privy. "She wanted me to blame her instead of you, so she told me what she did. She should have told you, but she was so scared of, well, _this_ , so maybe she was right to be scared."

In truth, the miko's confession had assuaged his guilt somewhat. But only a fraction. And not nearly enough to compensate for the pain she'd caused him in learning of her deception.

If she'd wanted to make him feel better, she'd failed miserably.

And as far as her own fears being responsible for her reticence... that could have been remedied with an earlier confession.

Either way, Kagome's role in Rin's abduction did not change the fact that it happened. Ergo, it did not erase his failure one bit.

"You think you're at fault because I was your burden."

Violet eyes instantly softened at her assessment of being considered his 'burden.' They saddened at fact she had used the past tense. "but Kagome's wish was her burden, so you are absolved of responsibility. I forgive you."

The words meant more to him than he would have expected. Even if she didn't acknowledge it; he knew deep down that a part of her had to be aware – perhaps even resentful – of his role in her kidnapping.

Her expressed forgiveness didn't change what happened, but he had to admit; he was relieved to receive it.

"Then I realized it wasn't her fault, either." Rin paused briefly. "I mean it _was_ , but it was just an accident. So I forgave her too. And if I can forgive her, so should you."

He was unaware Kagome had been so candid with the girl. Despite her offenses; he was not going to be the one to out her. If Rin wanted to blame him alone, he felt more than comfortable shouldering that blame. In a sick way, he kind of wanted it.

Rin did not have a spiteful bone in her body, but it still shocked him to no end how absolutely genuine, and fast she was in offering forgiveness.

Of all of them, Rin had suffered the most. So why wasn't she as angry with all of this as he was?

"How could you forgive her," he finally asked, "after what happened to you?"

She beamed at him then; a bright, dazzling smile that reminded him of better days and made his heart want to burst in his chest. It was captivating.

"Easy," she told him through those upturned lips. "I care about her. I want her in my life. I had to forgive her, or else she couldn't be." He looked down in contemplation, but before he could retreat too far inside himself, she quickly added, "I want you in my life too."

He didn't respond when she gently touched his shoulder, nor move when she rose to stand.

She crossed the room again, going back to her seat, and after a moment, he resumed gathering the cutlery.

Not another word was shared between them after that until the others arrived to eat their meal.

* * *

"Well, if it isn't my future daughter."

Forgoing the cold metal doctor's table; Kagome sat in the chair against the wall, and snapped to attention when the physician entered the room.

"Hi Dr. Takahashi," she offered politely; all the while thanking the kami in heaven that a full physical wasn't required for this visit. At least they were willing to grant her that much, but as she saw it; the universe had quite a ways to go to make up for her recent deficit.

"How are you?" he asked with a friendly smile. "It's been ages."

He had a disarming demeanor, which was required of a pediatrician, but the long-time family friend was likely a bit more familiar with her than most of his patients.

It did little to assuage Kagome's discomfort, however. She had switched doctors about the time she started needing pelvic exams, preferring a woman instead. There was also another reason...

"You know, same ole same ole."

"That's a shame," he said with a frown, flipping through the clipboard that had her information. "Hojo says you are still constantly out with your various afflictions. Is it true they may hold you back a grade?"

Yes, there was a reason Hojo was always so quick to offer her remedies for her made-up illnesses. His father was one of the top family doctors in town, and the boy's main resource for all of his non-homeopathic cures. It made it more difficult to come up with believable ailments, which she told her grandfather repeatedly, but at his age; the old man was prone to forgetting.

"Thanks for seeing me on such short notice."

Dr. Takahashi took the hint, and allowed her to change the topic from her scholastic woes.

"Of course. Had to catch you in between spells, am I right?" She answered with a grateful smile, and he returned to his clipboard, moving to stand before her. "So, what are we here for? Birth control?" He lifted his gaze to her. "Are you sexually active?"

Despite expecting the question; she blushed.

"It isn't my son, is it?" Mortified eyes flew wide, and returned to him just in time to watch a chuckle pass through his lips. "Just kidding. You know everything you tell me is between us." His assurances did little to comfort her as he moved to sit beside her at his computer to log in. "Besides, I'm not terribly eager to break Hojo's heart before he goes off to college. I'm sure there are plenty of girls there who will do that for me."

Kagome groaned inwardly. She forgot how 'funny' Dr. Takahashi was.

"I'm not sexually active," she assured him, but faltered again. "Not really. Not yet." Patient brown eyes regarded her through stylish frames as she got her story straight. "I was kind of seeing someone, but were kind of on a break. I'm not sure if it's going to work out."

It was beyond humiliating admitting all of this to him, but the logical part of her knew that he was a doctor, and this was why she was here.

"Well, it's better to be prepared. You are at that age, and you do not want a baby commandeering your future, do you?"

Her thoughts immediately drifted to a young girl with a sideways ponytail.

"No," she answered softly. If he noticed the shift in her mood, he didn't mention it.

"Well, we have the pill, of course." He leaned forward, folding his hands in front of him. "But perhaps the shot would work better for you. I'm sure you have enough pills to worry about, and this way; you can never forget to take it. Just come back every three months."

Kagome nodded. That would be ideal, provided the well continued to work for her.

"Yeah, okay."

He nodded in return, and starting making the notes in her computer file. She watched on nervously, trying to gather her courage for her next request. This would be the hard part.

"Um, Dr. Takahashi? I wanted to ask you about RU486."

His typing fingers stopped instantly, and he let his gaze slide her way.

"So you _have_ been active?" She didn't like the accusation in his tone, but maybe she was just imagining it.

"Not for me!" she insisted defensively. "It's for a friend. She's very young, and she was... abused."

His cadence turned sympathetic, so she hurriedly continued.

"Anyway; she got pregnant, and she's not ready for a baby."

"Have you told the authorities?" he asked with obvious concern, but Kagome shook her head.

"No. She's, um, homeless. And she's hard to track down. But I can find her. I was wondering if you could write me a prescription for her, and I can give it to her."

Her hope fell away with his sympathetic look, and he became all business.

"I'm afraid you need to bring her in. I can't write prescription for some girl I have never met."

"But I can't! She's scared." Or she would be, if she knew. "Plus, she doesn't have an I.D., or an individual number. She doesn't even have a last name."

"Have you tried the police?" he asked, sensing her distress.

"They can't do anything. Please, she's just a little kid."

His sympathy returned as he considered her a moment, and for a second; she thought he might budge.

"I can't do that," he repeated firmly, and she let out a frustrated huff. "But tell you what; if you bring her in, I will find a way to sneak her through. I just need to have a look at her."

It was probably more than most doctors would do, but it wouldn't help her here. Her reeling mind was coming up empty. All she could do now was plead.

"Please. She needs that prescription. I'll do anything."

But her desperation was getting her nowhere, and she could see her chance slipping away.

"I'm sorry, the answer is no." He was being firm now, and she could see him growing annoyed. "Now. Let me get your shot, and then I have other patients."

He stood then, and she began to panic. Her mind clamored for anything she could use, and a sudden, reckless thought surged itself off her tongue before he could reach the door.

"If I got pregnant, then you couldn't refuse my request, could you?"

Her question stopped him cold, and he slowly turned back around.

She could tell he knew what she was getting at, but the look on his face displayed his near-disbelief she would suggest such a thing.

Kagome tried to swallow discretely as her nerves went haywire, but her rapidly drying throat made it difficult. The tall man's intimidating glare was nothing compared to what she was used to, but she knew she had to tread very carefully.

She had to make it look like she meant business, and she did. As uncomfortable and dangerous as it was to blackmail her schoolmate's father – her doctor – she promised Sesshoumaru she wouldn't return without those pills. And she wouldn't. This was her best shot.

Firey blue eyes locked aggressively with his incredulous ones. "I wonder what Hojo's doing tonight."

"Kagome," he warned carefully, "it is against the law to threaten a medical professional. Or anyone, for that matter."

"What threat?" she asked with a shrug. "I just want to see Hojo. You think he misses me?"

The doctor's glare sharpened; boring into her ferociously.

He was well aware of how his son felt about the audacious girl in his office. He had been lovesick for Kagome ever since the first grade, and made no secret of it.

If she wanted him; she could have him in a moment's notice, and he'd always supported the pairing. Until now.

This girl... he didn't know who she was.

"He is forbidden from seeing you." His tone was final.

But Kagome let out a short laugh.

"You think that will stop him?" They both knew the answer to that. "You want to take that chance? Just write me the prescription, and I will never talk to your son again."

Kagome, of course, was bluffing. She just hoped he couldn't discern that for certain.

When he scowled deeply; she thought she had him, but he surprised her with a threat of his own.

"You have ten seconds to leave, before I call the police," he said in a low voice that was chillingly calm, and she visibly deflated. She knew she just lost. "And you need to find a new physician."

As he finally opened the door; she didn't care about the bridge she'd burned, or the trouble she might get in. All she could think of was Rin and Sesshoumaru.

What was she going to do now? What was there to do?

"Stay away from my son." His stern command faded in the background as he shut the door behind him, and she realized that now she couldn't get her shot. Not here, at least.

"Shit."

* * *

Swordplay between the brothers became the preferred way to pass the time in the absence of duty or enemy. It was a return to normalcy – something familiar in a world that, to both of them, was getting less recognizable by the day.

The only difference was that now they weren't actually trying to kill each other.

That was why Sesshoumaru thought it odd that every time he'd managed to disarm Inuyasha, or get him beneath the tip of his blade; the brief, involuntary fear flashing in the younger inu's eyes was 100% genuine. As if he anticipated the finishing blow he had promised him months prior.

When asked about it at the completion of their latest spar; Inuyasha confirmed that it made him nervous even now, because despite the truce; he hadn't seen any proof that his older brother did not still wish him dead... at some point. As far as he was concerned; the two were simply at a stalemate. He was wary of the day that would change.

As worried as he claimed to be; the hanyou stated his fears casually enough, as the two reclaimed their discarded haoris and began to redress.

"Rescuing you from that prison was not proof enough?" Sesshoumaru asked, folding his shirt over and tying it just right.

Inuyasha was less fussy, simply brushing off the dirt and shoving his arms through the sleeves.

"Keh, if anything; it was Kagome who rescued me from prison, not you."

"What kind of foolish reasoning is that?" he demanded. "So eager to deny that I had assisted you in any way?"

Sesshoumaru had finished sliding his sword into his obi just as Inuyasha lifted his from the ground, and did the same.

True, the two had been much more tolerant of each other lately, even working in tandem when required with little to no conflict. But it was a necessity of circumstance, as far as the hanyou could see. It didn't mean his brother felt any different about him. He was doing what he had to do. For now...

"If Kagome hadn't come looking for me when I got caught in that beartrap; she never woulda got herself captured too. And both of us know that if she hadn't gotten captured with me; you never woulda stuck your neck out like that."

Somewhat taken aback at his brother's assessment; he only watched silently while he shook more dirt off his clothes, brushing it off his pants.

"She's the only reason you came to get us," he surmised further. "If it were just me; you woulda let me rot. I'd probably still be down there. So really, I only have Kagome to thank."

Pleased with his appearance; it was all for naught when Inuyasha hoisted himself up on the wooden fence behind them and dirtied his clothing again instantly. The sun was beginning to set, and it looked like he would be staying for the show.

Errantly, Sesshoumaru wondered if it was a pastime he'd adopted from the miko. Even more errantly, he wondered if she was watching this sun setting now, 500 years removed.

As he looked into the distance with his brother; he leaned back against the fence beside him.

"You truly believe that?"

"Don't get me wrong," he backpedaled dismissively. "I'm happy you care about her so much. I'm grateful for it. But you ain't gotta pretend any of that was for me."

The golden rays cast by the descending sun's dramatic exit left the sky blanketed with light orange clouds, stretching endlessly across the horizon as far as he could see. But pinks were starting to encroach the lower it drifted, and would soon dominate the landscape.

These were Kagome's favorite displays, and he wondered if it was like this where she was now.

"What makes you say such a thing?" he asked, sounding as far off as the sun they were watching together. Inuyasha seemed to notice, and turned to look at him.

"Because you hate me."

Sesshoumaru allowed his gaze to drift toward him slowly, just in time to see his brother remove his own with a humorless smirk. "I know that. You always have, and I suspect you always will. You're only being cool now because you're human, and because of Kagome. But if you had your way; I bet you'd love to stick your poison claws right through my chest again, wouldn't ya?"

He didn't sound angry or hurt, just... resigned. He likely didn't expect an answer as he fussed with his claws a moment, especially for as long as it took. But Sesshoumaru was carefully considering something as he watched him.

"Do you recall our conversation in the mountains right before you became ensnared?"

"Huh?"

"Our conversation," he repeated. "After eating the roasted lizards you caught, and before you accused This One of coveting your sword. Do you remember what we were talking about?"

Slightly embarrassed at the reminder; he was uncomfortable as he tried to recall. "Sort of..."

"You asked me about father's wrath, and my propensity to incur it in my youth."

Seeing his still-confused look; Sesshoumaru huffed.

"I was about to enlighten you, however we became sidetracked by your transformation."

"Oh," he replied sheepishly. "right."

"I will tell you about it now."

His brother was not the long-winded type. In fact, getting more than a few words out of the bastard was usually considered a feat. So he was more than a little surprised when he gracefully hopped up on the fence to sit beside him.

It would be a lie to say he wasn't interested, even ravenous for stories about his famous father – of which he knew only very little. But he found he was eager to hear some about his brother too.

He really didn't know much more about him that what he had witnessed firsthand.

So wisely – maybe helplessly – silent; he watched on in awe as Sesshoumaru looked back out to the horizon, and began speaking.

"When I was a pup, barely able to swing a sword; I was attacked by two soldiers who were guards in father's army.

"They were much older; nearly grown, and they accosted me as I was returning back to the main fortress from my daily lessons."

"Wait," Inuyasha stopped him, earning a raised brow. "You're saying dad's own men attacked his heir in his own damn home? Were they suicidal?"

"When you are the heir to the Western Lands, you enjoy the full loyalty and protection of the Lord of the West, naturally." With an uncharacteristic shrug, he returned forward. "You also have a sizable target on your back. It is not uncommon for faithless soldiers and supposed allies to test the mettle of their future lord to assure themselves of his worth. If the heir is weak; it could spell the deaths of they and their entire families when he comes to power if he cannot keep it. There is also a pride won if any soldier can say they had bested a strong lord in battle, even if he was very young."

Inuyasha nodded in understanding. He was never taught the ins and outs of demon high society, and before now; he'd never cared to learn. It didn't concern him.

"Traitors can also discover a lord's weaknesses early on and exploit them later, forcing coups and naming themselves lord."

"So dad wasn't mad?"

Sesshoumaru smirked. "He was furious. At This One most of all. For when I returned to him in his study, bruised and bloody; he demanded the names of my attackers, and I refused." Inuyasha's eyes widened at the thought of Sesshoumaru disobeying their father.

"That in itself was enough to earn a vicious beating from him, for defying him. He badly wanted retribution, and to know the names of those who would attack him so personally. However, I saw no honor in running to Father and having him fight my battles.

"The next day; he once again demanded I reveal the identities of the guards, and once again, I refused. This time, he took me into his dojo and thrashed me twice as hard as the day before. Ten times harder than my attackers."

Something hard settled in Sesshoumaru's eyes then, giving them a glazed quality far different from the one he'd become accustomed to as of late.

"He said I was weak. He was ashamed to have a son who was too afraid to name his assailants. He feared for the future of the West if I was unable to hold my own in battle.

"Every day for a fortnight; he took me into that dojo and beat me within an inch of my life. He held nothing back. On nights when he could not take me to task himself; he had two of his strongest generals stand in his stead, and deliver relentless blows that seemed to never stop. This must have occupied half of the evening. Hours."

Inuyasha cringed, just imagining the uneven assault taking place. If he truly went all out like he said – and Sesshoumaru wasn't one to embellish – it must have been agonizing.

"I was enraged at him in the beginning," he admitted easily. "Soon after, crippled with shame. Until finally, near the end; I felt nothing. I had shamed my father and my lands, and I was weak. To feel nothing was a great luxury at that point."

The hanyou frowned as he looked at his brother, mentally putting a few puzzle pieces in place. He knew his dad was brutal, but his own son? It just seemed so... cruel. He never thought of him that way.

"Finally," Sesshoumaru continued, "after two weeks of this agonizing torture; it was over. I was allowed to return to my lessons.

"I was forced to bear my bruises and injuries for all to see and gawk at." He sneered distastefully as his memories unfolded. "The two guards who attacked me were even fool enough to think it was they who littered my small body with so many marks.

"They approached me once again, thinking to repeat the previous events. Thinking I looked even easier to defeat this time. They attacked."

He paused a long moment then, and Inuyasha worried he may not continue. Worried he might, but still, he prompted, "What happened?"

"Before the first one touched me," he immediately replied, "I gut him from nose to navel. It was clean. Flawless. Quick. He was dead before his insides hit the ground beneath him."

His half-brother had to smirk at that, despite the gruesome picture it painted. He would expect no less.

"With the second; I took my time. I savored it. I caught him in the throat with my poison claws. But instead of finishing him off quickly; I withdrew, so as to only paralyze him." His fingers twitched, as if reliving their moment of glory as he recalled it.

"I broke every bone. I pierced every organ. I peeled back his skin, and removed every appendage, and he felt every second of it. I ensured he was alive through every excruciating offense.

"Later, they told me that guards posted at the border to the East could hear his horrible, blood curdling screams. I still hear them sometimes, clawing at the inside of my skull."

Inuyasha studied him carefully as he spoke, somewhat haunted at the way even he could recount such a terrible thing and remain so indifferent. At least, to appear so. It was more than a little disturbing.

"Father came out," he continued nonetheless, still not regarding him as he played the scene in his mind. "and looked down at me with knowing eyes. I had never seen them shine with such obvious pride. He was pleased. His son was strong.

"He put the dead bodies of his mutilated soldiers on spikes at the front gates, to alert all of their fates if they dare cross the heir to the West."

He finally caught his brother's troubled eyes then, and held them with his own.

"He'd done it on purpose," he insisted with confidence. "This was what he'd wanted.

"Father was harsh. And cruel. And because of that; he prepared me properly. No one, nothing, not even the world itself was as harsh and cruel and demanding as our father was. And because I contended with him, because I saw the end of his sword and his fist and lived to tell of it; nothing would ever be able to defeat me. Nothing would ever be as terrible as that.

"He gave me the hardest opponent I would ever face - himself - so that I would be ready for anything else that would try to defeat me. Nothing would ever compare."

Sesshoumaru watched his words imprint themselves in his brother's brain. When he was satisfied he had absorbed enough to understand, he went on.

"I do not hate you Inuyasha. I never have.

"Father could not be there to teach you, but if he was; he would have done exactly as I have." Looking down with something akin to regret; he clenched his fist tightly against his thigh. "You deserved that much. He would have been cold and hard and unforgiving, and nothing would have been able to defeat you."

Through a veil of black bangs, Sesshoumaru looked back over to his uncharacteristically silent half-brother.

"You have had many enemies, yet you still stand, do you not? Surely a half breed would have many who wish to harm him. Many who wish to berate him. If there has been no other to harm you or berate you as well as I, then I have succeeded. I did nothing to you," he insisted firmly. "I did that _for_ you."

With that; Sesshoumaru jumped down from the low wooden fence and prepared to take his leave. Before he could however, Inuyasha's voice drifted to his ears.

"When you were a pup," he began contemplatively, "all you wanted was dad's approval. When you got it that day, then what did you feel?"

He only had to think a moment to answer honestly. "Nothing."

Inuyasha frowned. Just what he'd assumed.

"So what's the point of going through all that, if you don't even get to enjoy it when you get it?"

Sesshoumaru cocked a brow, as if the answer was obvious.

"You get to live. That is the point."

That's what it was all about after all. Survival.

But the hanyou seemed strangely confused at this concept.

"What's the point of living if you can't enjoy it?"

He seemed to earnestly wish to know. Sesshoumaru blamed the boy's human blood for making him think such foolish things. And then his own for considering it.

"I do not know," he finally admitted, "but I should like to find out. Thanks to Father, perhaps I will survive long enough to do so."

And thanks to him; so would his brother. At least, he hoped so.

* * *

Kagome lied to her mother and said the appointment went well, so the next day; she high-tailed it over to the free clinic to get the shot she'd sabotaged the day before.

In the waiting room; she'd noticed an abundance of teenage girls who were most likely there to get the very pills she was seeking for Rin, and began to formulate a new plan. But by the time they'd called her number; every attempt to talk them (see: bribe them) out of their medication had ended in failure.

So even though she'd received her shot; she remained lingering in the waiting room, and vowed not to leave until she got what she needed.

The poor girl she had cornered at the moment looked a little younger than she was, and like most of the girls there, had come alone. If she had to bet; she would say the parents of a lot of these girls had no idea they were here, or even needed to be, and Kagome hoped that would work in her favor.

"Why doesn't she just come in herself?" the confused teen asked once the miko made her pitch. "She can be anonymous."

"I told you; it's complicated." The girl still seemed uncertain, so Kagome pushed harder, using her age and confidence to persuade the inexperienced (in a worldly sense) young woman. She leaned in closer from the chair at her side, and spoke conspiratorially. "Look, just give me the pills they give you, and tell them later that you lost them. They will give you more, no problem."

It made enough sense to Kagome, but more importantly; it was the best plan she could come up with. She hoped it would be the last.

The girl was obviously conflicted, so she went for the hard sell. "I'll pay you 5,000 yen, and you get to help a little girl. Its win/win."

Kagome grinned as she seemed to consider it, but it fell when she finally shook her head.

"I don't think so."

"Why not?" she demanded irritably. This was like her tenth rejection in a row. What was wrong with these people? Why was everyone so selfish?

"I don't want to risk it," she reasonably explained. Then Kagome huffed as the girl rubbed her flat belly. "Plus, I was gonna do this today."

"You can-"

"Hey!" The aggravated shout of an older woman came from behind the admissions desk, startling them both. "We already told you to quit harassing our patients. I'm calling the police right now."

Cursing to herself; Kagome rose, and made her way out before the woman saw through on her threat.

Refusing to give up, however; the tenacious young woman posted up outside to try her luck with any patients on their way in – or out - of the building. Unfortunately, she wasn't faring any better.

Protesters outside the clinic were not an uncommon occurrence, and every time someone came in or out; the large cluster of sign and clipboard carriers accosted the poor patient before Kagome even got the chance – effectively scaring off any prospect she might have with their attempts to persuade, or else shame them into acquiescence.

She was really starting to get frustrated.

Rubbing her hands down her face; she began to consider moving down to the nearby parking lot and trying her luck there, when a familiar face brushed her way past the shouting mob, and prepared to do the same to her.

"Hey-" Kagome began, but the girl was pointedly looking down at the sidewalk, trying to leave as fast as she could.

"Leave me alone," she immediately spat, not letting her finish. "I already told you-"

"Eri?"

The girl froze at first, afraid to be recognized, but it didn't take long for the familiar voice to register. She turned back nervously.

"Kagome?"

The miko had taken the bus downtown, so she happily accepted the ride from her childhood friend.

She was definitely shocked to run into her there of all places. Of the group; Eri had always been the shy, more reserved member.

It only highlighted how far apart the two had drifted.

From her passenger seat; Kagome repeated the same line she'd been practicing all day, trying to ignore the tense vibe she was getting during the frantic drive back to Eri's house.

"So you'd be helping a little girl, and you'd make 5,000 yen. Its win/win!"

"I don't think so."

"Ugh. Why not?!" Her patience hanging by a thread.

"I just want to get this over with," she told her firmly, digging her painted nails into her steering wheel as she stepped on the gas a little harder. "You don't know what this is like."

It was true; she didn't, and she hoped to god she never would. The stress had obviously taken its toll on her good friend, and she didn't feel great about adding anything to it, but she had a job to do. A very important one.

Her discomfort in badgering reluctant allies into becoming accomplices would have to be pushed to the wayside.

"Please," Kagome begged. "I wouldn't ask if-"

"You know what, no!" The uncharacteristic outburst silenced her effectively, and Kagome widened her eyes in shock. Eri never said no. Eri never raised her voice. The sudden hostility was a jarring change.

"I haven't seen you in months; you never call." A scowl twisted her lips resentfully, and she shot the woman a fleeting glare in between weaving around traffic. "And now; you find out I'm pregnant, and you haven't even asked me once how I'm doing, or who the father is..."

The miko had no retort to that, so Eri continued to unload what had apparently been building up for some time.

"It's always all about you, Kagome," she accused hotly, and straightened in her seat. "Well, this time; it's about me. I'm taking these pills tonight, and your _real_ friend - whoever she is - can figure something else out for herself."

The two sat in silence for a moment while Kagome absorbed what her longtime friend had said. Finally, after a thoughtful glance; she managed to respond.

"10,000 yen."

"Ugh!" Eri screamed, taking her eyes off the road to tilt her face toward the ceiling. "You are the most selfish person I have ever met."

Kagome was willing to blame the hormones for her assessment as the driver fixed her with another sidelong glare.

"And it's not just me. All the girls think so."

'Defiantly the hormones,' she surmised, so the dig failed to land. Eri became even more frustrated as she seemed to pick up on the dismissive response. But the lid was off the can, and she refused to relent.

Sure, maybe Kagome wasn't the source of all her frustrations at the moment, but she was there to place the final straw atop her extremely heavy load. Besides, this was a long time coming. "We've been your friends your whole life, but as soon as you meet some cute guy – who is totally bad for you by the way – you cut us out of it like we don't exist. Well, if this is how you're going to be; that's fine with me. Good riddance."

Kagome knew she hadn't been there for her old friends lately, but it wasn't that she didn't care. There were just more important things going on in the past.

But even if there wasn't; she could feel herself drifting away from them.

They just didn't have much in common anymore. Though, to be fair; she hadn't really been around to even know what was going on in her old friends' lives. And they always made time for her when she came to town. Maybe Eri was right. Maybe she was selfish.

She had important things to do now, but she could take a few minutes to at least try and act like a friend. Eri looked like she could really use it.

"Who is the father?" she asked guiltily, but gently all the same.

Eyes on the road, Eri's scowl persisted.

"Nobody."

"Come on," she begged, softening her demeanor. "I'm sorry. Tell me."

It didn't take much coaxing to get the girl to open up. It seemed she really did need a sympathetic ear, and Kagome gave it to her as she drove them to her house.

Once inside; Eri led them up to her room and threw her purse and jacket carelessly on the bed.

It was clear how overwhelmed she was, and for the first time; Kagome took note of her disheveled appearance. Her hair was frazzled, and her makeup had been worn away. And if she didn't know better, she'd say the girl had been sleeping in her clothes. She was a mess.

"I'm gonna take a shower," she informed her, making her way to the adjoining bathroom. "You staying for dinner?"

"Yeah, sure." Kagome smiled weakly. "We have some catching up to do."

Things weren't totally mended, but she was confident the two of them would be fine. Friends fought, but they always made up. She just needed a little time.

After a few moments; the sound of the shower head being turned on prompted Kagome to peruse the walls which had changed since the last time she had been there.

Boys, and bands, and pictures of her friends littered the pink wallpaper. She was notably absent from most of the group photos that remained, but she found it really didn't bother her. She didn't belong here anymore - with them, or even in this time period. It was almost like she was vanishing from existence in the modern era. The less time she spent here, the truer it actually was.

Sudden movement down the hall invaded her periphery, and her attention drew out the open doorway. She'd managed to catch a glimpse of Eri's older brother slipping into his room just before closing the door behind him, and nearly rolled her eyes.

'What is he doing here?' she wondered irritably. 'I thought he moved out. Isn't he supposed to be in college?'

She was annoyed at the prospect of enduring dinner with him, until something suddenly occurred to her.

She rose in a flash as a new idea took shape, and before she knew it; she found herself outside of his room knocking lightly on his door.

He didn't answer, but the music blaring from inside left no question as to why. Feeling particularly bold today - and shameless - she let herself in, and hoped she wasn't about to walk in on anything that might scar her for life.

Luckily, he was just sitting on his bed, scrolling through something on his phone when he noticed her enter. She forced a friendly smile.

Recognizing her immediately; he stood, and stepped over the piles of dirty laundry littering his floor to turn the music down to something reasonable.

The look her gave her made her stomach turn, and it got worse the closer he prowled. She never liked the guy, and did her best to limit her contact with him to maintain the barest level of civility. He didn't make it easy.

But she maintained a plastered grin as he moved close enough to touch her. For his sake, she decided he better not.

"Hey, Higurashi," he welcomed, his eyes roving over her shamelessly. "You've really filled out."

He closed the door behind her, and she tried not to recoil when he grabbed her by the arm and led her deeper into his disgusting teenage boy lair. He beckoned her to sit on his bed with him, but she wisely claimed his desk chair instead.

He didn't seem offended, smirking predatorily for a long, uncomfortable moment.

"You haven't been in my room since Eri dared you to kiss me during that sleep over." He waggled his eyebrows. "Back for more?"

She finally rolled her eyes. There was no being polite to some people.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "I thought you were away at college."

"I got suspended last week." His grin never left him as he casually shrugged. "I'll be back next semester."

Kagome didn't bother to ask why. He'd always managed to get himself in trouble for this or that the whole time she'd known him. There was likely no bigger degenerate to ever attend her high school. Or at least, none who got busted as often. But it could work to her advantage. For once, she was happy to see him.

"Cool," Kagome nodded, but quickly cut to the chase. "Hey, do you still sell your prescriptions?"

That slimy smile of his somehow spread wider across his pock-marked face.

"Miss goody two shoes, ready to step to the bad side?" She didn't respond to that as he sized her up and down less than subtly, openly ogling her until she had the urge to cross her arms over her chest. "I always knew you were a bad girl." She didn't think he could get any creepier, until he licked his lips. "I bet you're a freak."

"Not for me," she insisted sternly. "I need something for a friend."

" _Sure_."

He obviously didn't believe her, but she didn't care. As long as he would help her.

"Anyway, do you still have that doctor?"

His lecherous grin turned prideful, but she couldn't say she liked it any better.

"Yep, Dr. Feelgood still makes house calls. What do you need? Benzos? Addy?"

"RU486."

A shocked look claimed his youthful features for a long moment, but that smile was quickly back.

"You _are_ a bad girl." He sounded impressed. "Who knocked you up, you little freak?"

"It's not for me," she told him again.

"You know that stuff's not illegal, right? Just go to the doctor and-"

"Look, I can't explain why, but I can't." Desperate, she leaned forward and placed her hand on his chest. "I really need it. Please help me."

He seemed thrown off by the contact, looking down at where they touched and momentarily stifled.

"Are you still looking for Oxys?" Her hopeful question seemed to snap him from his stupor, and he became excited.

"You got 'em?" he asked eagerly. "How many milligrams?"

"Eighty."

With his widest grin yet, something in his eyes sparkled covetously. "How many you got?"

Truthfully, she still had quite a lot. She only used them sparingly. But the last thing she wanted was to hand over all her medicine to this two-bit campus drug pusher. She'd just part with enough to get her what she needed.

"I'll trade you; one for one."

"Pfft." His dismissive noise told her she'd missed the mark. "That's not worth the trouble. Ten."

"Five."

He considered her offer, and her as well.

"Throw in a bj," he proposed with a smirk. "and you have a deal."

She wished his proposal has surprised her. But he was the one surprised when with a lascivious grin; she actually leaned forward and extended her hand.

Excitement, and disbelief rendered him still as she stood, and gently placed her hand between his legs, but it was very short-lived.

Before his body could react to her touch; her fist had clenched harshly around his balls, grabbing them so firmly that her fingernails began to dig.

When he instinctively moved to wrench her off of him; she squeezed harder, nearly piercing the skin through his thin sweatpants, and he froze. Any more pressure would be excruciating.

"Listen creep," she demanded, drawing her face close to his. "you call that doctor right now, or I'm going to rip your nuts off and ram them down your throat."

"Jesus, okay!"

Luckily, his phone was still in his hand, and the hurriedly and shakily fumbled through his contacts until the phone was dialing, and he placed it to his ear in a panic.

She continued to hold her leverage tightly inside her palm.

The relief in his voice was palpable when the other line answered. He managed to relax a touch. "Hey, what's up doc... Good, good, uh, listen. I need RU486, can you help me out?" Flashing her a nervous glance, she smiled back in satisfaction. But then his expression fell. "Yeah, I know, but I think she's-. Uh-huh. Oh, really?"

"What is it? What's the problem?"

He pulled the phone away from his mouth, and whispered. "He won't do it."

"Why?"

"He says it's immoral."

"Immoral?" Kagome repeated incredulously. "He writes prescriptions for recreational use!"

"It's against his religion."

But that wasn't going to cut it. She thought quickly of how to persuade the unscrupulous doctor.

"Well, tell him that if he doesn't; I'll tell the cops about his little side business."

But Eri's brother looked at her like she'd grown another head. Did he forget were his nuts were right now?

Apparently, because instead of relaying her message; he said his farewells.

He hung up before her death glare made it to him, and he explained himself before she could issue another threat.

"I'm not ruining my hook up. Besides, he has the best lawyer in the city. He doesn't respond to threats."

"Fuck!" She released him roughly, and he instantly scooted away, rubbing where she had very nearly castrated him.

He observed the irate female a moment, but instead of being angry; it was back to business as usual.

She'd wager it wasn't the first time a girl had assaulted his junk.

"So I made the call. How about a little thank you?"

If looks could kill, he'd be dead. But unfortunately; she had to settle for getting up and leaving. She tried to think if she knew anyone else with a shady doctor.

"Come on!" he implored her retreating form. "You can't get pregnant again; let's enjoy it."

He stood when she reached his door and put her hand on the handle.

"You might as well," he pressed further. "I'm still gonna tell the guys you grabbed my dick."

She pulled the door open violently. But before she left, she spun back around.

"Do it, and I'll tell all the girls how small it is."

She'd finally managed to wipe that greasy smile off his face, and internally relished his sneer.

"Bitch."

"Creep."

She heard the door slam shut behind her as she made her way back down the hall.

In Eri's room, she could hear the girl still showering. She could respect that; she definitely indulged as long as she could whenever she got the chance.

Releasing a huge sigh; she sat heavily on the bed next to her friend's belongings, and tried to come up with a new plan.

She had already decided against robbing a pharmacy. For now. But if she didn't think of something soon, she worried it might come to that. Whatever she did, she couldn't risk getting caught. She'd do nobody any good locked up in a detention center.

When she gazed down dejectedly; she noticed Eri's purse beside her on the bed, and another bad idea popped into her head. But at least it was one with fewer legal ramifications. And less devastating ones.

She snatched the purse, and rummaged through it feverishly, all the while praying that her childhood friend still had the habit of placing her whole life inside the large, knock-off handbag.

When she found a small bottle with just a couple of pills, her breath caught.

She brought the label closer, and nearly squealed in celebration when she read it.

Then, she stood.

Eri would be mad. She might never talk to her again. But she was willing to make that trade off for Rin's wellbeing.

And Eri would be fine. She could go back to the doctor tomorrow, and everything would be okay.

But she had to run.

She didn't have a ride, and the shrine was miles away. She just had to get to the well before anyone found out, and she would be home free.

So she bolted out of her friend's house, and ran down the street as fast as she could.

The sun had just finished setting when the shrine came into view, and though tired from the long sprint home; Kagome didn't rest before booking up the steps to the safety of her property.

As she finally stopped to catch her breath; she briefly considered running inside to grab her pack and say goodbye to her mother, but she decided it could wait. She needed to get this medicine to the past asap, and then she could come back for the rest.

Her side was cramping the whole way down to the well house, but she maintained an urgent trot as her goal became within sight.

She rejoiced as she drew closer, drawing a sigh of relief as she let her victory wash over her. It was almost over, and then she could focus on trying to get Sesshoumaru back the way he was.

Maybe now, he could see that she really would do anything to help him. Maybe now, he would be able to trust her again. Just a few more steps...

Her heart nearly stopped when she almost reached the entrance, and two uniformed men emerged.

They stilled when they noticed her, and she was forced to as well. Her escape route was effectively blocked.

"There she is!"

Any thoughts of retreating were severed when Eri followed behind them, pointing in her direction with a sour, determined look on her face.

Shit! How'd they get there so fast? Sure, it took a while to run home, but the cops in this area were not known for their quick response time. Must have been a slow crime day. Figures.

She remained still as they all made their way over, and briefly considered running past them to jump down the well anyhow. But then they would see her, and her secret would be exposed.

She was trapped. Looking around frantically; she wondered where her mother was at.

Her shoulders tensed as the two large law enforcement officers approached, with a furious Eri in tow.

Damn it! Why didn't she see their cars?

"Did you take her prescription?" asked the heavier of the two men, once they had closed the distance and stopped before her.

Neither man seemed terribly concerned with her, but rather more like they were simply there to perform a civil task. She wouldn't say they looked amused, or annoyed, but a skinny teenage girl with no record accused of taking a couple of pills did not seem to worry them much. It wasn't like she posed a threat. To humans...

"No," she lied, but it was obvious they didn't believe her. Eri sure didn't.

"Check her pocket," she demanded, pointing to her jacket.

She began to panic as the thinner man approached her, and helped himself to the contents of her coat. Eri glared daggers with her arms crossed in front of her, and the resentful gleam was returned tenfold.

Kagome became more fearful, however, when the search yielded results, and the small bottle with Eri's name on it was discovered right where she said it was.

"I must have grabbed them by mistake," was all she could say as three sets of accusing eyes awaited her explanation.

Fuck! She was so close, but she would never get them back now. She needed to come up with another plan. But for now; she had to focus on the teensy little crime she had committed and, if possible, avoiding punishment. She didn't have time for this.

"Yeah right," Eri scoffed, rolling her eyes dramatically. "She took them."

Her hair was still wet as the pills were returned to her possession, and in her head; Kagome was calling her every curse word under the sun.

She wondered if her mother knew she was pregnant, and if threatening to tell her would make her a bit more accommodating. Perhaps she should have thought of that sooner.

"Perhaps it was a misunderstanding," the heavier cop suggested to the aggrieved. "You got your pills back, no harm done. But if you want to press charges; I have to take her in for processing."

It was clear they were not interested in pursuing this. This case was not going to win them any accolades, and would only be another paper to push. But it was up to Eri whether she really wanted to file a report against one of her best friends.

The pregnant teen frowned up at the policeman when Kagome began her plea.

"Eri-"

"Is everything alright?" Everyone's attention transferred to Mrs. Higurashi, who had a bag of groceries in her hands as she made her way to them. She flashed a friendly smile. "Hello Eri, nice to see you," she offered first, then regarded the police officers with kind optimism. "What's going on?"

She was sure calm for the scene she had intruded upon. If she was at all concerned about the police presence at her shrine; she didn't let on.

All Eri's fury at Kagome was washed away at the appearance of the kind woman she had known her whole life, and she even deigned a guilty expression. But only for a moment, and then she found the miko's gaze and held it meaningfully, relaying her ire just fine without words.

But just then, she seemed to have made her choice.

"It's fine," she told the men. It very clearly wasn't. "I'm sure it was a mistake."

Her decision earned a happy sigh from the cop.

"Wonderful. I hate paperwork."

Mrs. H. smiled in response, and asked, "Would you like some coffee?"

"No thanks," the other one answered for his partner. "need to get going. Unless there's anything else?"

His question was directed at Eri, and when she shook her head; everyone began making their way back to the house. A sly look at her daughter told Kagome she would be filling her in later.

The cops took their leave, and Eri was about to do the same, until Kagome's mother turned to her.

"Eri, are you staying for dinner?" she asked pleasantly.

"No. My mother is cooking."

"Well," she replied with a warm smile, "tell her hello."

With a nod, she took off ahead of the girls to get her groceries inside and start dinner.

Once out of earshot, she leaned in close to Kagome.

"I'd tell you never to call me again," she bit out harshly, just above a whisper. "but you already decided that months ago, didn't you?"

"Eri-"

"No. Stay away from me. You are toxic." Straightening to full height; she was a few steps away before adding over her shoulder, "You and your delinquent boyfriend deserve each other."

Kagome watched as she stomped out of sight, feeling much more irritated than apologetic with the girl who foiled her plans.

'I'm not the one who got pregnant,' she thought wryly, and startled herself with the unkind nature of it.

What was happening to her? The stress must be making her crazy.

But desperate times called for desperate measures, she justified.

Just how far was she willing to go to meet her ends?

How far would she be forced to go?

* * *

The snow had really done a number on the girl's hut. After a few days of repairs; the roof was only half-patched up, and nerves were wearing thin.

After all they had been through; the group was hoping to finally get a little break once they got home, so the unexpected and pressing chore was a very unappreciated surprise.

At least they had the extra hut now. Inuyasha was usually fine to sleep outside; he actually had preferred it. But now that he was with Sango; he was certainly not opposed to claiming a space for just the two of them so they could have some privacy. Throughout the duration of their relationship so far; it had been very hard to come by.

The boys' hut was just how they left it, but the pressure was on to get the roof fixed before Kagome came back, whenever that was. But as darkness fell over the village; it became clear they would have to put things aside yet again and pick it up tomorrow. No one was looking forward to another day of physical labor.

But even though morale was low; Inuyasha and Miroku remained jovial throughout the task, talking and joking and trying to keep each other's spirits up.

Sesshoumaru, however, had only been getting progressively more sour as the days, even hours, ticked on.

Around mid-day his mood had taken on an especially prickly quality, and snide remarks and snipped comments fell away completely in favor of palpably displeased silence. Inuyasha thought he'd prefer his brother quiet, but there was something unnerving, almost aggressive in the way he worked beside them all day, but refused to speak or even look at them. His edginess was contagious.

Once they decided to call it a day; Sesshoumaru dropped his armful of wood inside the broken hut, and left to sit alone beside the campfire.

The other two men shared another pensive look. They'd been getting pretty good at communicating this way, and without a word; both had reached the same conclusion about which of his many problems was currently ailing him.

Sesshoumaru had a lot of shit to deal with that neither of them could even begin to relate to. But the way he was acting was instantly recognizable.

The two of them were very familiar with this kind of behavior, as both of them were guilty of it themselves on countless occasions. Even Shippo, particularly as he got older, had begun to adopt the moody attitude on these occasions, to the point where measures had to be taken just to slacken tension within the camp.

After putting away their tools; they made their way to the fire as well, opting to sit a good distance from his brooding brother and give him some space. They tried to engage him in friendly conversation as a distraction, but a rigid scowl would be the only participation they would receive from him.

So after a while; the three of them just sat together in uncomfortable silence. But frustration was emanating from the former demon lord in thick waves, and only appeared to be getting worse.

Inuyasha wasn't much good at placating, especially not Sesshoumaru, but Miroku was well practiced in loosening things up with his light-hearted demeanor. But so far nothing had gotten through.

The Lord of the West was tense, even for him. Every muscle in his body was visibly clenched, and had been for what seemed like days. Miroku knew what was causing it, but despite their time together; he really didn't know Sesshoumaru well enough to help.

He'd know what to do for Inuyasha. For Inuyasha, all he'd have to do is...

He cut a sly look over to the hanyou then, which he caught, but only responded with a questioning expression when a matching smirk creeped up the side of his face.

Clasping his hands behind his head; the monk leaned back, and pointedly looked off into the forest.

The first verse was muttered so quietly, even Inuyasha barely heard it.

By the second, however; the hanyou caught on, and with a devious smile; he joined in.

Sesshoumaru was so fogged by his chaotic lament that he didn't realize what was going on around him at first.

He absentmindedly acknowledged that those two fools were singing something, but that was on par with foolish behavior. He was getting scarily accustomed to tuning out such things.

But as the song wore on; recognition began to set in, and he remembered where he'd heard this rendition before.

His permanent scowl drifted from the crackling flames and over to those two bumbling idiots.

Unfortunately, their smiles only widened - and voices only rose - and they finished, only to begin again from the top; more animated this time through.

He knew he was being mocked, but as they went on; the stiffness in his shoulders seemed to dissipate a fraction or two. And as much as he wanted to go over there and make it so their offensive vocal cords could no longer make those sounds – as he probably should - he simply remained seated.

This repeated several times through, and if they expected him to join them; they would soon find they were sorely mistaken. But it did not escape their notice that despite the gratuitous number of rounds, and unfortunate pitches achieved; he never once told them to stop.

* * *

Up in her bedroom as she waited for dinner, Kagome was having a nervous breakdown.

She'd done everything she could think of to help Rin - some of the most terrible things she had ever done - and she'd come up empty. She failed her. She failed Sesshoumaru.

She refused to give up, but she didn't know what she was going to do now. Her options were fewer and more dire, as far as she could see. And she didn't know how much more of her soul she would be forced to sacrifice in order to keep her promise.

She was starting to worry she would not succeed, and what the implications of that would mean, for all of them.

She sat at her desk with her head in her hands, and finally let herself indulge in a few tears.

She had been holding back in favor of keeping her eye on the ball, but after being thwarted mere steps away from her goal; she felt like she was at her wit's end.

It wasn't a loud, ugly crying, so her mother didn't notice when she tapped on the door and let herself in. Kagome pulled herself together quickly.

"Kagome? You have a guest."

She cursed internally before she even turned around, and a moment later; another old friend appeared through the crack in her door.

"Hojo. Hey."

She tried to sound welcoming as she stood to greet him, and her mother left the two alone to finish with dinner.

He wore a handsome smile as he always did, and Kagome said a prayer of thanks that he hadn't appeared to come with any of his goofy home remedies for her made-up illnesses.

"It's good to see you," he offered kindly, crossing to meet her. "How are you feeling?"

"Great," she lied, through yet another fake smile. She wondered if he could tell she'd been crying, but realized she didn't care.

"How is your-"

"Actually," she interrupted, "I'm not great." He regarded her with sympathy as she ran a hand through her hair. "I've had a really shitty week. Maybe you should come back another time."

She didn't have the energy to humor him right now. He was nice and all, but right now; she needed to focus on-

"My dad said you had an appointment the other day."

His statement stopped Kagome cold, and panicked eyes searched him for any signs of intent.

"He told me everything," he told her solemnly. "He also ordered me to stay away from you."

So much for the Hippocratic Oath.

That bastard! How dare he tell Hojo about her doctor's visit?

She would sue him, if not for, you know... the blackmail and all.

"So then what are you doing here?" Was he going to disavow her now as well? Denounce her for her selfishness? Or would he call the cops on her too? Perhaps he would try to blackmail her for sexual favors, like Eri's slimeball brother, though it would be out of character.

"Defying him," he told her simply. Talk about out of character.

With a small smile, he added, "Also, I wanted to give you this."

She eyed him suspiciously when he handed her a miniature sized envelope. Kami, she really hoped this wasn't a love note or something.

He waited patiently as she opened it with palpable trepidation. But once she saw what was inside; she stopped breathing.

Incredulous blue eyes returned to his face to find him still smiling, and she dumped the two pills into her palm to inspect them more closely.

"How did you get this?" she asked breathlessly, still somewhat in shock. "Did he write you a prescription?"

"Not exactly. I stole his prescription pad." She didn't think her eyes could get any wider, but the straight and narrow boy continued to astound her with one confession after another. He had her full attention now. "He has a pretty sloppy signature, and the girls at the pharmacy know me, so it was no big deal."

She couldn't believe it. Gratitude couldn't even begin to describe what she was feeling. That, and utter disbelief. Good things never happened to her. Not anymore. Certainly not brought over to her house on a silver fucking platter. She couldn't help but wait for the other shoe to drop.

It was too easy. Things were not easy for her. Ever.

"Are you in trouble, Kagome?" he asked with heavy concern as she continued to inspect the pills for authenticity. "Or is this really for a friend."

"No, it's for my friend," she answered absentmindedly. "Why did you do this?"

"Because I love you." Yet another surprise confession from the boy, though it really wasn't that much of a surprise. The surprise was how easily, and confidently he admitted it to her. No matter how obvious he was, they'd always edged around it.

"I always have; you know that, and I will always do anything I can to help you. I will always be there for you, Kagome."

She must have looked ridiculous the way her mouth hung open unattractively while she was stunned into silence, but his dazzling smile never faltered. With a chuckle; he pulled back a bit, and averted his eyes.

"I know I'm not the most exciting guy on the planet," he admitted with a modest smile, but one long look into her blue eyes wiped away all his mirth. He became deathly serious. "but I have never doubted my feelings for you. I hope now, you don't either."

She couldn't believe it. Her prayers had been answered, and he was the black-haired angel to deliver them. He knew just what she needed and he gave it to her freely, without conditions.

Unable to contain herself; she lunged forward, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling his lips to hers in a display of unbridled gratitude.

His hands moved to rest on her hips as he followed her lead, moving his lips in time with hers like they'd kissed a million times before.

She couldn't help it. She was an emotional pressure cooker, and he was the release she needed, or else she was going to burst.

But after they parted; the moment was over, and the look in his eyes had her crashing back to reality.

She was grateful. Really, _really_ grateful. So she felt even more awful for getting his hopes up like that. She didn't want to hurt him.

"Hojo-" she began sympathetically, and removed herself from him. With a smile of recognition; he followed suit, dropping his hands and retreating a step.

"You're not ready; I can see that." It wasn't what she was going to say, but she was more than happy for the interruption. Hojo was cute, but she was never attracted to him. But no matter how many times she brushed him off; he never seemed to get discouraged. If only she did like him like that. It would make everything so easy.

"I know you have a thing for bad boys; most girls go through this phase." She had the decency to blush then. "It just kills me to see those two-timing jerks hurt you over and over." When he boldly lifted his palm to her cheek; she allowed it, and returned his heartfelt gaze. "But once you're finally done letting those delinquents play with your heart; I will be waiting. Just don't make me wait too long."

Oh, how she wished she could. If she was smart; she would shop chasing unavailable demons and pair off with the nice boy who didn't deny his feelings for her. The fact that she couldn't told her there was something really wrong with her. Maybe she deserved the universe's scorn. But she knew from experience there was no dissuading the boy, so maybe he deserved his heartache too, in a way.

If _he_ was smart, he would forget she ever existed.

His easy smile returned, and she matched it with a small one of her own. He released her shortly after, and with a resigned look; he showed himself the door.

The fist still holding the pills clenched tightly against her chest as he left, and once he was gone; she returned them to the envelope for safe keeping.

Her mother let herself in as she was doing so.

"What was that about?"

She was looking curiously at the gift she held, and after everything; Kagome was simply too spent to lie anymore.

"One of my friends in the past is in trouble, so Hojo gave me this."

She worried her mom might not believe it was for a friend if she told her what it was, but after everything, she just didn't care anymore. "It's RU486."

"Oh," her mother replied. "I have some of those in my room."

It took a moment to register, but Mrs. H. retained her poise as wild eyes demanded answers.

"What?" she screeched. "Why? Mom, are you pregnant?"

"No. Not anymore."

Her calm response did little to pacify her daughter's reeling mind, and she could tell the girl was conflicted. Instead of making her ask; she generously answered unprompted.

"I had a... fling, a few months back," she admitted gently. "I wasn't planning it; it just happened out of nowhere." Were Kagome capable of focus; she would have seen the apologetic glint her mother deigned. "That's why I was so adamant about getting you protection. I didn't want to you make the same mistakes I did."

"Who was he?" she somehow managed, after recovering from the bombshell.

"My yoga instructor."

Kagome's jaw dropped.

"He's like, 20!"

"22," she clarified.

"Still, he's closer to my age." And after thinking on it a moment, she added, "And he's gorgeous."

"Yes, he was a sweet boy," the older woman said with a wistful smile. "Far too young for me though."

Kagome would agree, but she wasn't one to make judgements on age differences, all things considered.

Oh, she had questions. A thousand of them reeled in her mind as she tried to remedy this knowledge with everything she thought she knew of her mother, and the universe in general.

Her world had just tipped so quickly it gave her motion sickness.

After coping with the revelation in for a moment in silence; she managed to shelve her more personal - and perhaps more sensitive - queries for the most logistical one.

"So why do you still have the pills?"

Kagome's heart twinged at the hint of sadness in the ensuing pause.

"I had a miscarriage before I could take them. They say it is not uncommon for a woman my age to have complications."

"I'm so sorry," she offered genuinely. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," she assured her, earning a sympathetic look from her daughter. "It's a sad thing, but for the best. The last thing I want is another child at this point in my life. You and Sota are enough for me."

She couldn't believe her mother had gone through all this without her knowing about it. Not that she blamed her for keeping it secret. First Eri, then her mom... She was missing out on so much by being away all the time.

She supposed her mother's sudden suspicions, though not entirely unwarranted, regarding her sex life made a lot more sense.

At least she was handling it okay. Or she seemed to be.

She never would have considered her mom in this position. Suddenly, the possibility of it not being the first time hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Was I an accident?" she blurted out. Apparently, her filter was out of commission, but she was willing to blame it on the day she'd had.

Had her mother gone through all this stress when she was pregnant with her?

"No." She smiled warmly. "You were... a pleasant surprise."

That answered that. She felt a foolish rush of guilt all of a sudden.

"Souta?" she asked timidly.

Her mother smirked. "Meticulously planned."

A short burst of laughter lightened the tense mood, and throughout their dinner together; Kagome looked at her mother with new eyes.

Later, as she was packing up her bag with fresh supplies; Mrs. Higurashi handed her the small bottle with her name on it.

"Just in case, for your friend."

Kagome looked at prescription thankfully, unsure of what to say.

"You could have saved me a lot of trouble," was what she finally settled on.

"See? This is why you shouldn't keep things from your mother."

She responded to the half-hearted admonishment by pulling the older woman into the tightest hug she had given in a very long time. It was returned in kind. After that; the bond they both feared had been stretching thin over the months and centuries never felt stronger.

* * *

Sesshoumaru watched on from a short distance away as Rin played happily with the fire cat. He'd nodded his permission when Sango offered to show her a few commands, but the training session had quickly turned into fun and games. He had a sneaking suspicion that was the intention all along.

He never sensed the presence behind him, and cursed his human form along with his inattention when his ward's troubled look registered just in time, and he turned around.

Toran didn't need a whole hand to count how many times she'd been able to sneak up on him over the years, but recent events did not allow her to relish her victory, nor his discomfited reaction as she otherwise would have.

"Do you have him?" he demanded firmly, never one for pleasantries.

"Not yet. But we are looking."

With Rin successfully retrieved; Toran's clan was focusing their energy on helping him track down the one remaining tiger who'd managed to evade justice on his demon night.

With Jaken's bid to locate him proving unsuccessful; it was the one loose end that needed tying before he could finally put a bow on this god-forsaken mission.

"Then why are you here?"

"I spoke to Reo," she informed him gravely, not at all offended by - or unaccustomed to - his rude reception. "I learned what they were doing with your girl, and I thought you'd like to know."

He scowled, not at all pleased at the reminder – not that he could forget, even for a merciful moment what had occurred.

He'd told no one of his discovery, aside from Kagome. No one needed to know, as far as he was concerned. But Toran was an accomplished interrogator, and kept her finger on the Northern Land's pulse reasonably enough. It did not surprise him that she'd figured it out.

And though he didn't want to hear it; he appreciated that she saw fit to inform him.

"I know."

"So you learned of the magic," she surmised, but it was really more of a question.

At his confused look; she elaborated. "The magic that can only be used on demons."

His brow furrowed. Yes, he recalled what he had learned as he was being taken prisoner by Juzo and his men. He had actually meant to inform her, as it sounded like something she and her clan would soon be forced to contend with, but he became distracted with other things and it slipped his mind.

The correlation to Rin, however, was not clear to him.

"What has that got to do with it?" he asked.

Toran crossed her arms, squaring her stance as she prepared to fill him in.

"An army of humans in the Northern Mountains had perfected a form of magic to be used against demons. When the pumas learned their secret; they began cultivating it themselves to wage war against the other cat clans in the North."

This he well knew, but opted not to divulge that he had been aware and failed to inform her.

"It is very effective in acts of disguise and deception, so naturally; my clan along with the others have been trying to create it for ourselves, but to no avail."

So she had known. That changed everything. He should be upset that she had failed to inform _him_ , until now.

"Apparently, during one of their raids; the tigers learned how to make it, and have been experimenting with it ever since.

"To use the magic; the blood of a pure woman must be infused with powerful youki. After, a spell is placed upon the blood. It is how the humans were able to produce it in such quantity, though I am uncertain how there were able to find a powerful youkai to cooperate with the ritual."

Sesshoumaru absorbed the information silently. He had little knowledge of spells, and even less experience, but he had been aware that demon or animal blood were common components for various magics. The use of human blood was new to him.

"The pumas required no such cooperation; they simply plucked untouched women from the various villages they raided and bled them out, collecting their blood and infusing it with youki after their deaths. The only problem was; the blood of one woman could only produce so much of the magic. They required a fresh sacrifice every few days to get what they needed."

It was no great feat for any capable youkai to achieve, though he did see how that could be a nuisance.

"When the tigers learned of this; they got a better idea," she continued cautiously, and eyed him warily before she continued.

"Instead of fusing the pure blood with their youki after bleeding the woman out; they simply gave it to the girl while she was still alive." She could see him tense as his eyes darted to hers. Even human, his aura flared dangerously once the implications registered. "With the youki in her bloodstream; they could remove a good deal of her lifeforce for their purposes, and instead of killing her; she could regenerate what she had lost over a matter of hours. Days, at worst. I have to admit, it is more clever than I gave them credit for."

He understood what she was saying, but it was a shock to him. The gears spun rapidly in his head as he ensured he interpreted her right, and that it was even possible. As far as he could see, it was entirely.

"So you are saying-"

"Rin was their pure blood source. One of those tigers infused her with his powerful youki, and removed what he could – probably cutting her every day or so. After, they placed their spell on it."

She watched as his features hardened – obviously disturbed and displeased by the notion. It was wild how expressive he could be with his new human face.

"I noticed no cuts on her person."

"You wouldn't, would you? She would have had enough youki in her system to make her nearly as strong as a hanyou. She would have healed almost immediately."

The word struck him like a bolt of lightning, and his eyes grew wide.

"Hanyou?"

Before she could respond; he abruptly turned from her and ran off in Rin's direction. She'd been casting glances his way ever since the arrival of their new visitor, and once he had closed the distance; Toran quickly joined them.

"Rin," he commanded sternly, and she stopped playing with Kirara to give him her attention. "I need you to tell me what happened to you with the tiger clan."

He almost winced when she recoiled. Almost regretted his question. But he had avoided breaching this topic with her in detail, and honestly; had no plans to, until now.

But it was time. No matter how unpleasant; he would not do well to remain uninformed.

"You said you knew," she reminded him shyly.

"Did they cut you? Draw your blood?"

Her face took on an ashen quality as she recalled the moment in time both of them desperately wanted to forget. He hated forcing her to think on such things, but this was important.

"Yes," she finally admitted, and he softened imperceptibly. "Almost every day. But they would always put their youki in me first so I didn't die." When Sesshoumaru didn't respond after a moment, Rin grew slightly uncomfortable. "But it started to wear on me after a couple of weeks, so they gave me the sleeping potion to regenerate."

Unnamed anxiety began to steadily build within him that bordered on anticipation. He was on the precipice of something substantial, and every cell and fiber seemed to know it.

What they had done to her was outrageous, and completely unacceptable. But the hope her confession gave him dulled the fire roaring in his ears.

He focused on her with rapt intensity. "How did they put the youki inside you?"

"Through another cut, on my finger." She extended her index finger for inspection. Just as he remembered; there was no evidence of the cut she claimed to receive.

Only demonic blood could have healed her wounds so perfectly, but that's what a half-breed was; the blood of a human tainted with the youki of a demon. It would be more than enough to lend her a hanyou's strength, albeit temporarily. With time, the youki would dissipate if not replenished regularly.

That meant there was a chance... But he needed to be certain.

He averted his eyes downward, allowing his bangs to obscure him as he dropped his tone to something low, and dangerous.

"Did they put anything else inside you?"

He didn't see her baffled expression as he waited on baited breath.

"What do you mean?" she asked, chancing a look at Toran who seemed just as caught off guard by his question.

"You remember your talk with the miko? Did they do anything like that?"

"You mean sex?" she asked after a moment. His lack of response told her she'd guessed correctly. "No! I wasn't in love with them, Sesshoumaru-sama. Did you think that I was?"

Kagome's explanation obviously put some stipulations in place that were in no way a requirement, but he didn't care.

The revelation washed over him slowly; lifting the crippling weight off his chest and freeing the hope he had not allowed himself to nurture.

"That is what you wished to keep from me," he realized, speaking more to himself than anyone.

What happened to her was horrible, and that last tiger would pay dearly. But it didn't stop the ghost of a smile from curling at the corners of his lips.

"I'm confused," Rin said, brow furrowing deeply. "You said you knew what happened to me."

The young girl's eyes flew wide open when instead of answering her; he grabbed the equally startled panther beside him by the cheeks, and pulled her lips to his in uncontainable excitement.

When he broke away after only a moment; he met her shocked expression with a more fully formed smile, and released her to turn back to his startled charge.

"I am sorry for what you went through," he told her earnestly. "But rest assured; we will find that last tiger, and he will pay dearly."

The end of his vow held promise, and the malicious intent was lost on none of them.

With renewed reserve; he returned his attention to the panther demon, all business once again.

"Return to the Northern Lands," he ordered firmly. "When you find him; capture him, and take him to the Western Fortress. Throw him in the dungeons, and return to me. I will deal with him myself."

He rose a brow when he received no response.

"I assume you wish to make an example of any who would attempt a coup within your lands?"

Shaking herself mentally; she addressed the obvious, and gestured to him.

"But what about your-"

"I will deal with it when the time comes," he assured her with a confidence he hadn't displayed in some time. "For now; make haste. You must find him before he finds another woman to aid him in his treason. I thank you for your visit. It was very much appreciated."

"Yeah, no kidding," she replied, still somewhat bemused.

But he was right; time was of the essence. That tiger youkai had been elusive thus far, even with all of her soldiers on his tail. They needed to find him soon.

She stepped away from them to summon her power for travel, but his voice gave her pause.

"Do not forget," he ordered sternly, a purposeful look in his eye. "I want him alive."

* * *

She wasn't surprised to find him beneath his favorite tree, happily smoking from his pipe.

She'd half expected him to be waiting for her by the well, and was kind of surprised not to receive a more demanding reception. But it didn't matter.

She plopped down beside him with a tired sigh, and proudly produced her very, _very_ hard-earned spoils.

"I got it," she announced, grinning ear to ear despite her mental and physical exhaustion. "It wasn't easy, but I did it."

She was hoping for at least a hint of gratitude, but was disappointed to not even receive acknowledgement. Maybe he'd indulged too much today. She pushed her annoyance down.

"So, do you want to do this now, or-"

"Unnecessary."

She furrowed her brow, taking note of the odd lightness of his demeanor and the small, contented curl teasing at the side of his lips.

"What? What do you mean?"

"What I said. It is unnecessary." His pupils slid to her for a brief moment, and she could his smile begin to spread. "She is not carrying."

"What?"

"They never touched her," he happily relayed. His giddiness was almost palpable.

Her brows continued to knit.

"But you said-"

"I made a mistake. I was wrong."

If he'd ever said those words before; she'd reckon they were not through such a wide, goofy smile.

The sight of it managed to banish every ache and pain she'd been harboring, and when he turned to pin her with it fully; the accompanying sparkle in his eyes took her breath away.

She hadn't seen him look so happy since Rin had returned. She worried she never would again.

And even though she should probably be irritated, all she could do was smile back.

"That's great," she told him, putting the pills back into her pocket. "You wanna fill me in?"

"Later."

After tucking away his pipe securely in his obi; he pushed himself up to stand.

She watched him brush himself off with curious relief, but her heart clenched a bit when he turned to leave her sitting there alone.

But after one step toward the huts; he stopped, and threw a look over his shoulder, squarely down at her.

"Your efforts are appreciated."

That small smile on his lips was one she'd recognized as just for her, and its reappearance had her feeling light as air.

Her heart fluttered in her chest as she returned it, and reveled in the long, silent moment as he meaningfully held her gaze.

Then, he turned and continued on his path – wherever it was.

As she watched him go; she thought about the hellish few days she'd just endured for him.

She'd betrayed her friends, the law, and her own moral compass. And it was all for naught.

But then again, maybe it wasn't.

Rin was okay; that was all that mattered. But if in her unscrupulous journey, she'd managed to show him that she really would do anything for him, then it had not been fruitless.

And that smile he gave her, those eyes... She grinned madly to herself.

'Worth it.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh! So many scenes!
> 
> Kagome seems pretty morally reprehensible in this chapter, but is it justified?
> 
> Was she doing whatever it takes to keep a promise to the one she loves, or simply disregarding others just to get what she wants? Or is it both?
> 
> If you love someone, are you obligated to help them at all costs, even if the cost is your moral code, or the wellbeing of others?
> 
> If not, where is that line?
> 
> Back to business next time, I promise. This story is almost over, and the rest is going to focus on sesskag's relationship. I posted the first chapter on 11/30, and my arbitrary goal is to have it all wrapped up by that date this year. But we'll see if my muse wants to cooperate. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	33. Blowing Smoke

Kagome was beyond thrilled to hear the news about Rin's condition, but this time; she would leave nothing to chance.

Deciding not to put too much stock in demonic assessments – particularly incomplete, intermittent demonic assessments - she opted to verify Sesshoumaru's latest claim by making Rin take the pregnancy test sticks she'd brought to confirm the pills' success.

She gave her some bullshit reason for it, telling her the test was to see how much youki remained in her system, and the girl didn't question it.

They were, indeed, negative.

With that crisis averted; Kagome was able to focus her time and energy on making Sesshoumaru demon again.

But she was exhausted inside and out. The night following her return to the feudal era had been Kagome's first break from duty since the moment she found the Western Lord unconscious in the snow, and her body and mind took advantage of the occasion by shutting down completely, and indulging in some self-imposed, non-negotiable rest.

Her hut was still under repair, so Inuyasha and Sango had invited her to bunk with them until it was ready for her to reclaim. But when she woke up in the middle of the night - unbeknownst to them - to soft panting and poorly concealed moans of pleasure, she decided to inform them the next morning that she would be returning ahead of schedule.

They argued with her vehemently about her decision, stating that it was far too cold in the dead of winter for a human to sleep in a hut with roof damage, but she maintained that she would be fine. She had her sleeping bag – freshly washed – not to mention warm blankets and clothing to get her through the few days - at the most - it would take to complete the repairs.

She also had an irori, as all their huts did, so she would be no worse off than when they had slept in the wilderness.

Miroku had suggested that she sleep in the men's hut, for once with no lecherous intent. His highly astute – not to mention perverse – nature allowed him to correctly surmise the reason for her early departure from the other hut, and he assured her there was no chance of being woken by such disturbances between he and Sesshoumaru.

'At least,' he'd joked wryly, 'almost none.'

She was actually considering his offer, but Sesshoumaru extinguished those inclinations by offering to switch places with her instead. He'd said it would be 'too crowded' with the three of them, but Kagome knew the real reason.

He was still mad at her. And despite all she had gone through for him in the modern era – and, not to mention; this entire freaking journey – he still did not wish to be in her company any longer than was absolutely necessary.

Rin's new status as _untouched_ once again had done wonders for his mood, and alleviated a good deal of his misery and grief, but it was far from enough to fix the damage she'd done with her wish, and subsequent deception.

No, just like the roof; there was no quick fix, and it was going to take hard work and time to get things back the way they were. And in all reality, it would likely never be quite the same.

After another full day of labor, Sesshoumaru and the men called it once the sun dipped below the horizon, and joined the others for their evening meal.

That was the last time she saw him before retreating to her cold, lonely, damaged hut and got herself ready for bed.

Her sleeping yukata was thin, but the modest fire she'd prepared made her hut plenty comfortable. So she slipped inside her bag and tried to get some sleep. But unlike last night, her mind did not wish to cooperate with her body's demand for rest.

Thoughts so easily drifted to the demon in human's clothing just one hut down the way. He felt so much further than that from her, and as he actively attempted to add more distance between them; it only motivated her to find the key to changing him back.

The jewel still didn't work, and she was convinced that was because her wish had yet to be completed. Once he knew enough to have a decent grasp on the human experience; she was certain it would return him to his former glory – finally enlightened, just as she'd wanted.

Since she couldn't sleep; she pulled out her notebook and decided to make a list of all the things a human might know, that perhaps a demon would not.

She'd had a few pretty decent guesses, but after twenty minutes of good, hard thought; she found her list terribly lacking. Because really, she had no idea what a demon truly knew. In truth, she'd never really considered them to be all that different.

It was humbling to realize she didn't know as much about them as she thought, and that perhaps it had been hypocritical to expect Sesshoumaru to know more about her species than she knew about his.

Fed up with her ignorance; she decided the best thing to do would be to ask the former demon himself. He would know better than she what made demons tick, and she was very confident he would be more than happy to tell her of the many differences that set the two of them apart – likely complete with unsolicited opinions on why one was far superior to the other.

Plus, it was an excuse to see him. She wasn't deluded enough to deny she was eager for any opportunity to be in his company for a bit, and helping fix his curse was an occasion he couldn't deny her. So she threw on her winter coat and stepped into her sandals, and crossed the short distance to his hut.

It was pitch black in the village, but the flames that roared in his hearth illuminated the cracks in the wood, displaying the imperfections and minor damage of the home.

She followed their call to the man she wanted to see, but when she reached her destination, a familiar scent hit her nose, and drew her attention to the entrance.

His solitary profile became visible to her just outside the door, and she instantly knew why. It looked like she wasn't the only one who was having trouble getting to sleep.

She saw the cherry in his bowl piece burning bright red as he took an especially long pull, and continued to slowly approach as the large puff of smoke was forced out into the air around them.

She could make him out more clearly the closer she got, until she finally saw his gaze slide wordlessly her way. It remained as she moved to stand beside him, stopping just short of grazing his sleeve.

She watched him a moment as he defiantly raised the pipe to his lips and took another long, slow pull of his medicine. The scent, which she once found offensive, was beginning to grow on her. She figured it must be an association thing.

"Can I have some?" she finally asked. Her smile endured through the cocked eyebrow he produced. "I really need it."

It had been a rough week, and considering the few that proceeded it; that was really saying something. The thought of muting even a portion of her detrimental thoughts was an appealing one, so despite her initial reluctance; she was willing to join him in drowning her sorrows.

He seemed to consider her request for a long moment, but eventually thought better of it.

"There isn't enough," he declared, then suggested, "Take your pills."

He must be finally running low. She was actually surprised his stash had lasted this long; at the rate he was going. A part of her was pleased, but another, more logical part worried he would seek out more.

He was about to take another hit, but her voice tempted him to wait.

"I saw something in a movie once," she said; her hopeful blue depths instantly commanding his rapt attention. "There is a way we can share it. Can I show you?"

He clearly didn't want to, but the Lord of the West was famous for his curiosity, among other things. And the Shikon Miko was an endless well of intrigue that never failed to pique his interest.

She continued to look up at him, simply awaiting the compliance she was so eager for. As he drew it out, she hid her impatience well.

"Can I trust you?" he asked drolly. The question caused her heart to soar.

Because to anyone else, it might sound like he doubted her intentions. But to her, who was fluent in Sesshoumaru's subtle inflections, his doubt was in his own notions.

Not only that; there was hope. He _wanted_ to be wrong about her. He wanted her show him that he was. And she would.

"Let's find out now, once and for all." She was trying to sound casual, but anyone could have heard the grin on her face, even if he weren't looking right at it.

When she saw the device drifting her way in offering; she reached out to take it from him. A soft brush of fingertips made her heart jump, and then beat faster when he hesitated just a moment to relax his grip.

The cherry was still lit when she lifted the stolen pipe to her full, petal-soft lips. She could feel his eyes burning into her as she sucked on the tip slowly, having learned from last time the consequences of overzealousness.

She drew the heavy smoke into her lungs with a long, unrushed pull, and when she could finally take no more; she removed it, and held it in.

She tilted her head to look up at him as he watched on curiously, waiting to see what she would do. Though he did not expect it, he did not recoil or retreat when she pressed her taut belly flush against his, and grabbed him tightly at the lapels of his kimono. With a demanding pull; she coaxed him closer, and his hands reflexively moved to rest on her hips.

She got up on her toes to make up for the difference, suspending close enough to see his surprise; to feel his breath on her nose. Startled but still; he refused to react or rebuff as he let her proceed with her indulgence; while he trusted her intentions.

She pulled him nearer still, forcing him to crane above her upturned face as a collision seemed imminent. He braced for impact, curling his fingers into the swell of her hips as traitorous excitement had his pulse racing. But just before they touched, when their lips were only a hairsbreadth apart, she stopped her ascent. Mouth open slightly in anticipation; he watched hers part for him as well, and she began to exhale.

Thick tendrils of smoke were allowed to escape past her tempting lips with tantalizing slowness. As soon as it did; he inhaled deeply, stealing her breath quite literally and making it his own.

He paced himself, determined to take every last bit she offered to him, and not a scrap less. His fingers dug deeper into her curves as he felt - as he tasted - her seeping past his defenses and occupying him completely. He was all too happy to allow the invasion, in fact; he was desperate for it.

Her lips would just barely brush his as she transferred the smoke; the accidental drag of plump, familiar flesh calling him like a siren to close the final distance until there was none.

Instinct, and muscle memory screamed at him to press forward. It wouldn't take much - hardly anything - to have her mouth on his, as he so desired it to be. But he wouldn't.

By the time the last of the sweetened smoke was shared; he pulled away – just enough to turn his head to the side and expel every last part of her that had invaded him.

After blowing their combined breath out into the dark night; he turned back to the woman he still held to firmly, and looked right into blue eyes hooded with contentment. A lazy smile relayed her pleasure, and the combination sparked something inside of him that he hadn't felt in weeks. Something he'd missed with every fiber of his being.

He was already floating from earlier, but her addition to the concoction lifted him to new heights. There was a weight to that lightness, however. An elevation in sensation that overpowered the numbness as he combined his two most dangerous addictions.

With the Kagome-laced opium he could smoke her like a drug, and it was clear to him even through his fogged mind which one hit him harder. There was power in the pleasure and fulfillment she gave him, and he knew if he wasn't careful, it could lead to his destruction.

She didn't release him until he removed his hands, and held one out expectantly. It signified an abrupt end to their enjoyable little interlude, and Kagome was not pleased to see it over so soon. She had forgotten for a brief moment that the blood between them had turned, and was in no rush to have her memory reinstated.

She cast a quick glance upward for confirmation, and found it in his glassy, demanding eyes. Overcome with disappointment, she reluctantly – yet obediently – returned the opium to his possession.

She took a step back, giving him some space as he lifted the pipe to his lips again, and tucked a wayward lock of black hair back behind her ear.

She'd only lowered her gaze for a moment when his hands were suddenly on her; pulling her flush with him again. A strong grip on her waist held her to him tightly, while the other wove into the long hair at her nape, and angled her up towards him once more.

Pulling her back into position; she almost forgot to keep still when he stopped just short of bringing her mouth to his, which he let hover teasingly above. If she spoke, if she licked her lips, they would be touching just the way she yearned for. But she refrained.

She nearly forgot to breathe as the smoke tinged with his essence left his mouth, and sought hers.

Just like he had done; she inhaled slowly and steadily to accept every bit he was able, and willing to give her.

Trembling flesh unintentionally grazed his, tempting her with more. Flooding her memories and making her burn between the thighs. Her nipples were already tight from the cold air, but pressed against his firm chest shot jolts of pleasure down to her core, and encouraged her shift into him just a little.

When he was through; he pulled back but did not release her, watching on with fuzzy satisfaction as she released their thick cloud off to the side. After she exhaled; she turned back to face him with that same sleepy look of contentment she'd been wearing before.

"Mm. That feels nice." Her body and brain were in agreement as he continued to hold her in his arms. She felt lighter; less weighed down. She felt... happy.

His bangs hung over his eyes, but the way he lowered his head made it look like he was gazing down at where they still touched. She couldn't see his expression, so she couldn't tell if he was lost deep in thought, or completely void of them and simply reveling in the thoughtless relief he likely sought.

As for her; she was simply enjoying the easiness of the carefree moment, and having him near without mistakes of the past acting as barriers between them.

That dull ache between her legs progressed to a full-on throbbing when she felt the hand at her hip begin to stray. The sudden drag of his calloused palm down the length of her thigh reduced the skin beneath to gooseflesh. Thousands of fine, almost invisible hairs stood on end like an electric current was passing through his fingertips. The hot, tingling trail they left in their wake activated raw nerves she never even knew existed.

She grabbed onto his shoulders in reflex - and for stability - even though he kept her in his hold as he slid past the hem of her silk yukata, and brushed the back of her knee.

Once there; he reversed course and began moving back up her leg. He encountered her hem once again, but slid himself beneath the fine material – parting it the front as he traced another searing path all the way to the top.

He heard her sharp intake of breath as deft fingers danced along her upper thigh, tickling and teasing until they reached the thin strip of cotton at her hip.

The pads of his fingers traveled along the covering, back and forth in that one spot as if he were perusing the material; inspecting it.

She remained silent, excited and entranced as she allowed him to trace her futuristic underwear with a thoughtful, almost appreciative look on handsome features. And deathly still, as if she feared the slightest sound or movement would snap him from his reverie and cause him to retreat.

Dragging his hand upward; he hooked his index finger inside the top of a slightly worn elastic band, and peeled it away from her heated flesh enough to test its give. He added his thumb to rub the material between it, memorizing every fiber, filing away the sensation as he tried to discern everything there was about her panties simply by touch.

Like a blind man reading braille; she got the distinct feeling he was making use of his available senses to tell him what his superior demon ones now could not. Like he was learning a new way decipher the world around him after losing the use of others.

He was touching her like it was the first time he'd ever done so, marveling and savoring and seeing with new eyes. And as he pulled the material at her hip; the part in her yukata opened around his arm, falling away like a curtain and exposing her clothed lower half to his half-lidded gaze.

"I never took the time to appreciate the craftsmanship."

His calm, deep voice distracted her from his audacious assault, and soothed the frazzled nerves he'd single-handedly set haywire.

"I was always so preoccupied with getting inside them, that I never admired the quality. But it is really, quite impressive."

He continued to finger the material throughout his confession, and while his hand, and his gaze were fixed upon her waist, his voice sounded very distant, though not quite detached.

She watched him staring, zoning out on her as he was lost to his musings. The patch of skin he stroked beneath her clothing sang at his touch, but her pleasure bolstered more from the thoughts he chose to share. That he would let her into his head, even if for something trivial and fleeting, felt even more intimate.

"They're not my best," she confessed softly as she rested one hand upon his chest. She felt the heat of his skin, the drum of his heart acutely against her palm. "They've kind of been through the ringer. You just can't tell because they're from another era."

He released the fabric as he lifted his gaze to hers, but she encouraged the closeness by placing her hand over the one still in her hair.

Bold fingertips remained inside her robe to stroke a gentle pattern over the cloth at her hip, and his eyes bore into her intensely.

"They are still better than anything I have encountered," he admitted, as his voice took on a husky tone. "Likely ever will."

His stare, while hooded, was focused solely on her. Unforgiving in its longing, and distance, and desperation as he seemed to plead for something even he couldn't understand. So what hope did she have?

"Maybe so," she conceded, "but that doesn't mean they're flawless." The plea in her own gaze was tinged with sadness, and reflected his pain like a mirror. "Once you got used to them, they wouldn't seem that great."

When his fingers twitched in her hair; she curled hers between them, and he pulled her to him just a little closer. The hand at her nearly-bare hip began rubbing more firmly, back and forth and rolling the bone beneath in his palm, urging her to him with each returning pass.

"Just because they aren't flawless, does not mean they are not amazing."

She could see sincere regret in those deep violet pools, but she could not discern who it was for, or why. She supposed it didn't matter, and perhaps it was not for any one reason.

The both of them had plenty to regret, and hiding in opium smoke was not going to make any of it go away. Once the smoke cleared, their problems would still be there, waiting to be dealt with, and that day would be upon them soon.

But for now; she allowed a small smile to creep through, and nurture the hope she held tightly that things were not ruined between them; that he was starting to see that.

"Maybe," she conceded again, rubbing up and down his chest with her splayed palm. "But maybe they just aren't as good as you thought."

Something relatable, and sympathetic flashed across his features that gave her the wonderful, painful notion of being known; of knowing. And with that; a sense of relief that someone could actually understand something long thought to be specific to only them.

His hand slowed its motions until his fingers were barely there, ghosting a tickling pattern along her elastic band. He slipped one digit back behind it to run along the front, only to change course half-way and retreat back the way it came.

Her loins were on fire as his talented fingers taunted her, drawing memories and firsthand knowledge of just what they were capable of. She throbbed, and pulsed, and willed him to encroach further. Lower; to the tender, aching bud not far from where he grazed, or the empty core that clenched and salivated for only him.

But he didn't seem interested in that. Instead; he remained in a trance, lightly brushing her tiny panties with cautious, thoughtful fingertips. It gave way to a distressing thought as she recalled the beginning of their conversation.

"Do you only notice now because you are no longer trying to get inside them?"

He froze his ministrations, and a flash of clarity made him look like a hypnotist just snapped his fingers.

He released her abruptly and took a hasty step backward, and she felt the cold air acutely; instantly mourning his heat.

"I apologize," he told her stiffly, refusing to meet her eyes, and she gaped at the foreign sight.

He'd ignored her before, but he'd never avoided her. He'd never run.

"It's o-" she tried to assure him, but he was gone before she could; the hut's flap door fluttering closed in his wake.

"...kay."

* * *

He'd nearly collided with Miroku as he hurried himself inside.

The monk hadn't expected his abrupt return, and from the sheepish smile being leveled at him; Sesshoumaru knew without a doubt that the lecher had been listening. Probably even watching.

He pinned him with a cool glare as he strode past to his futon, and Miroku was more than happy to move out of his way.

He put his opium off to the side as he sat to remove his boots, while his roommate assumed his meditative pose; watching him all the while through a single cracked eyelid.

"It's very cold out tonight," the monk casually observed. "With that hole in her hut; Kagome-sama is going to freeze."

"She will manage."

He knew it was too much to hope for that meddlesome monk keep his counsel. But he was in no mood for the man's musings.

"We should let her stay in here," he suggested, not for the first time. Placing his boots neatly aside, Sesshoumaru looked across the room at him pointedly.

"She may take my place."

Despite the generous offer; Miroku frowned. "You know she won't go for it if you don't stay."

The others had already been around the block with her on this topic. She refused to put anyone else out, to the detriment of her own health and safety. But that wasn't his problem.

She was a grown woman; she was free to decide for herself. If she caught a cold, it would not be on his shoulders.

A moment passed in silence as the former demon prepared for bed, and in that time: Miroku had apparently given up on dancing around the issue.

"She's very sorry for what she's done. She feels awful."

Sesshoumaru stretched out on his back, and closed his eyes. After adjusting himself into a more comfortable position; he folded both arms behind his head.

"It does not change what she has done."

"Nothing will," Miroku countered. "You can't fix the past. If we could; I reckon both of us would have taken a trip or two, wouldn't we?"

It was only because the nosy monk held his tongue thus far that he had not threatened to sever it at the start of this exchange. But he was through indulging him.

He still did not know what he was going to do about the miko, but he didn't need his judgement clouded by the bias and crafty grifter.

"She is a very forgiving woman," he reminded him next. "Every kidnapping, or attempt on her life has become water under the bridge. She deserves a chance."

He would agree that she was forgiving. Far too forgiving, in his opinion.

He remembered the irrational spike in rage he felt once he learned of this pack's various offenses concerning her. She was foolish to take these men into her confidence after that.

He quickly reminded himself that he was a member of that club as well, but his position remained the same. She should never have allowed him as close as she had. He could easily have caused her harm. In fact, he was certain he had.

"Her insistence to help you suddenly makes a lot of sense," the monk admitted. "It seems she has done everything she could in an attempt to make things right. Aside from saving your life in that cave; she fought your brother to accept you into our pack and make your journey with you - and it has not been an easy one. You would not have found Rin if it wasn't for her."

"I would not have lost her."

" _And_ ," he continued, brushing over that minor detail, "I know she will not rest until she finds a way to make you demon again. She's trying," he said more softly, then sharpened his glare in accusation. "and it isn't like you were our best ally before all of this, either."

He definitely couldn't refute that, but he was supposed to be ignoring the man anyway.

"At the very least; she deserves to be repaid for her efforts in staving off frostbite. Surely your honor would dictate that."

It was a pathetic attempt to appeal to his moral code, but it wouldn't work. Her offenses far outweighed any good deeds she had done him, especially because any help he'd needed was in direct relation to the curse she had given him.

He knew it was an accident, and he wished that was enough to make it all okay. But it just wasn't. There was more to it than just that.

His resolve broke when he opened his eyes again, but he kept them trained on the ceiling above.

"I do not believe I can trust her."

And that was the crux of it. Even if he wanted to forgive her, and he knew good and well he did, his instinct would not allow him to accept one who sought to deceive him. It was a matter of survival, and etched into his bones.

The offenses themselves, he could forgive in time easily. That she took away his ability to trust her was what he could not forgive. How dare she take that from him?

Miroku looked on sadly at the troubled and conflicted man. He totally understood, and he felt bad for both of them.

"Give her a chance to earn it," he implored on his friend's behalf. "She deserves that much. Don't you think she's worth it?"

He watched Sesshoumaru carefully. Kagome was worth it, and he knew he knew that. He just had to break through that stubborn demeanor. "It's worth a try. Because if you don't; you lose. You lose her, and I know you don't want that."

Sesshoumaru seemed to be considering his position. He was a tactical guy. He just had to make him see that there were two possible outcomes here, and what he did now would determine which he would get.

"Kagome fucked up," he conceded whole-heartedly. "She fucked up bad, no one is denying that."

"She should have told me." Still looking up above, Sesshoumaru set his mouth in a deep scowl.

Miroku nodded his head. "Yes, she absolutely should have. But what's done is done. You can't change that; all you can do is move forward. If you want her in your life, then you have to forgive her."

Rin's unsolicited advice came barreling back at him. She'd told him the same thing.

And she was right. They both were. Rationally, he knew this.

So then why did it feel so wrong? Why was it so hard to accept?

"Do you want her to be miserable? Do you want to be?"

No. He wanted neither of those things.

But it was her actions - or lack thereof - that put them in this position, not his. He was not at fault.

"You know she never meant to hurt you. Mistakes happen, but you should only punish those who _intended_ to do harm."

He finally turned to look at him then. That was an interesting take on it that he hadn't considered. In truth, he'd hoped the clever scholar would be able to talk him into making this all okay. Convince him to give in. He needed justification that his subconscious could get on board with. Otherwise, there would always be resentment.

"Kagome didn't intend any of this. But she's only human. We make mistakes; it's what we do. We evolve by learning from them."

'Only human?' he repeated, testing the phrase in his head.

Was being flawed a requirement of this race? He'd certainly agree that it was a trait all of humanity seemed to share, and it was by no means a revelation for him.

He would also agree that youkai were the more evolved species.

But, he would concede, not all of them.

He'd met many unscrupulous youkai throughout his many years, and not all demons were trustworthy, honorable beings. Very few, in fact. And far from infallible. Only he could claim such a thing. And with a sword to his throat; he would reluctantly admit that there were some grey areas even there.

So humans admit to being imperfect, but their remedy to that is to rectify the mistakes in their character. Something only those noble enough and humble enough to be self-aware would be able to even attempt.

This was something demons were less inclined to do, though it was not unheard of.

Another sword to his throat; he could admit he had little interest in changing anything about himself in that regard. If anything he had done could be construed as a mistake, the world would simply have to bend to make him right. He did not bend. Not ever.

Did that then stunt his own evolution?

Humans could not hope to be at his level, but was there any higher ascension that he could possibly reach?

Perhaps there was something to that. But it had nothing to do with race.

He'd already conceded to Kagome that luck of birth was not a fault or a failing, and he was wrong to place the blame on her kind for their shortcomings.

There, see? He had been wrong. When he had been demon.

Irksome that it took him being human to figure that out.

No, it didn't matter which race one claimed. On either side, it was entirely up to the individual to make themselves worthy, to ascend to greatness - whichever form that took.

Was acknowledging one's wrongs and striving to right them enough to warrant forgiveness? Was there any other recourse?

"Besides," Miroku interrupted as he saw his eyes begin to glaze... further. "I bet she'd be willing to do just about anything for you at the moment. Such guilt should not be wasted, my friend."

Sesshoumaru stared at him dispassionately as the monk waggled his brow, and decided he definitely preferred attornment to one who simply refused to improve.

* * *

Sesshoumaru peeled back the curtain on Kagome's hut, and muttered a short oath beneath his breath.

It was no warmer inside than the wilderness that surrounded them, and a quick glance around told him why. The small lantern across the room held the only surviving flame; the smoking embers proving the small fire she'd started in the hearth before drifting off to sleep had clearly not been enough to keep her warm throughout the winter night.

His eyes cut upward to the remaining hole in the ceiling, and he cursed he and his packmates' inefficiency with the job. Perhaps he should have been paying closer attention to that fool Tadaaki as he performed his work, but he was too busy actively _not_ doing that.

They should have at least covered it with a sheet or something, and he vowed to do so if they did not finish the job tomorrow.

As he moved closer to the irori; he noticed the trembling form in the sleeping bag beside it. She had burrowed inside the flannel sheath, curling in on herself as she slept to consolidate as much heat as she could manage.

"Foolish woman," he muttered with a scowl, and gathered a few logs from the neatly stacked pile against the wall.

He had a decent fire blazing in no time, but it would take a while to raise the temperature inside the hut to something acceptable.

His eyes drifted to the hole again as wind whistled noisily through, and he briefly considered climbing up there to cover it with something. Alone in the dark, it would not be an easy task but-

A soft whimper hit his ears, and drew his attention back down to the shivering girl on the floor.

In a split second, a decision was made. Sesshoumaru quietly toed off his boots, brushing them against the wall with his foot. He reached for his obi next.

In no time; his haori was folded neatly beside his shoes on the floor, and he found himself kneeling at the opening of her bag.

He contemplated a moment on the least disruptive method of entry, before eventually taking down the zipper a ways and gently parting the material for access. As his body slid in beside hers and closed the zipper; Kagome drowsily came to.

"Sesshoumaru?" she asked, sounding as though she were still half in a dream. She offered no resistance as he covered her body with his own, careful to distribute his weight so as not to crush her.

His bare skin acutely felt the toll the cold winter night had taken. The silk yukata had clearly done her no favors, and the contrast of her frozen body tightly pressed against his warm one was stark enough to make his skin burn.

"You are freezing," he explained through a frown. There was admonishment in his unhappy tone. "I will stay until you are warm, and then the fire should aid you. You should have built a better one before sleeping."

His large hands were working feverishly to rub life back into her skin. Long, firm passes up and down her arms reduced the numbing somewhat, and it wouldn't be long before his soothing ministrations loosened constricted muscles weary from bracing against the cold.

She could almost taste his frustration above her, highlighted by the way he refused to meet her gaze. Instead, shaggy bangs fell between them like a curtain while he concentrated on getting her temperature up to something he deemed acceptable.

If he was looking, however, he would have been treated to her thankful smile. Sesshoumaru was a man of action more than words, and his irritation with her was clearly born of concern.

He still cared.

Satisfied with her arms for the moment; he moved his warm, rough hand down the length of her side, and up again a few times in rapid succession. When he traveled over the swell of her hip; the returning trip back caused the silk material to drag slightly up her thigh.

The skin there was ice cold; so he focused his energy on it, and did not complain when she lifted her arms to wrap around his broad shoulders, and began rubbing him back.

His face was hovering just below her chin, and she was staring at it intensely as a wave of bittersweet nostalgia rolled over the both of them.

"Here we are again," she awkwardly observed. His soft snort in return acknowledged the absurdity. "Less bruises this time."

"Hn," he agreed, flicking his gaze up to her. "More clothing."

Though not much. She rolled her palms down his upper arms before dragging them over his back, and crossing them back and forth behind his neck. His heated skin was very pleasing to the touch.

"Why did you take off your shirt?" she wondered, not that she was complaining. There was only hard muscle everywhere she felt, and she luxuriated in the feel of it beneath his smooth, flawless skin. "It's freezing."

He cocked a brow at her, but did not pause in his rubbing motions. "I was under the impression nudity was incremental in raising a human's body temperature."

She blushed at the accusation, but remained silent. Perhaps that was true in more extreme cases, or if his clothing had been sodden. But far be it for her to tell Sesshoumaru to put a shirt on.

Instead, she leaned in.

He lifted himself slightly, allowing her to wedge her hands between them so that she could undo the loose knot of her sash. She pulled the material open, but didn't remove it completely as she bared her lithe torso to him.

She still wore the underwear he'd fondled hours prior, but her breasts were now fully exposed, and she noticed his eyes linger there a moment before covering them once again with his own broad chest.

He pressed himself to her, and she held him tightly as skin met skin again in a long-awaited reunion.

The feel of him flush against her was a mourned, and very welcomed sensation. His rigid abdominals and sturdy hips pinning her to the floor served to ignite neglected desires so furiously that she had to resist the urge to wrap her legs around them.

And he in turn could not curb his craving to touch and rememorize every single inch of her that he'd been missing. His 'selfless' act of heating her body had already far overstepped the line of obligation, and turned into little more than a pleasure cruise.

He buried his nose in the crook of her shoulder, and sought her pulse with his lips – pressed tightly together by sheer force of will – as some base part of him he'd nearly lost instinctively sought her scent. Only faint wisps of her were able to slip past his feeble senses, and it frustrated him to no end.

But not as much as the involuntary mewl she released at the contact. He wasn't even certain she'd been aware of it, but she did drag her splayed hands up the back of his neck to weave themselves in the short, sweat-soaked strands behind his ears.

Their writhing forms perspired between them where they touched, and previously fluffy bangs were beginning to take on a much more humid quality.

This closeness was a comfort they both needed, and it continued wordlessly until he finally let himself relax atop her - resting his cheek on her shoulder, just above her breast.

She held him to her; raking her fingers through dampened locks in a half-combing, half-petting motion as they simply allowed his heat to transfer over to her. He let the constant drumming of her heartbeat lull him into calmed state, while a thousand 'what ifs' played through her ever-drifting mind.

She found herself gazing down thoughtfully at the black head of hair on her chest.

"You ever wonder what would have happened if we slept together that night in the cave?"

He tilted his face to meet her eyes and found she genuinely expected an answer. "It would have made our travels together much more enjoyable, for certain."

She smirked, and when she shifted beneath him; Sesshoumaru twisted to prop an elbow outside of each of her shoulders. He didn't remove his weight entirely, but enough to free her up a bit. The result had his face hovering just above hers, with nipples hard as stones pressed tightly into his chest.

"I wish we had, when we had the chance."

His eyes widened fractionally at the confession before she averted hers sorrowfully. "Before you hated me again."

He watched on as regret consumed her pretty features, twisting his lips into a frown. Guilt he'd kept buried beneath layers of hurt and forced disdain rooted through the surface, making his chest pinch uncomfortably.

"I never hated you."

Blue eyes returned to his instantly, in search of something she couldn't name. But though she was pleased - and relieved - to hear that; she couldn't find it in her to smile. Looking up at him now, into those human features; all she could see was plight, and pain, and it was she who put it there.

It seemed crazy to think that face could be considered at all damaged, but it was. From the surface all the way to the end of his injured violet depths was marred by the destruction she'd wrought.

How do you atone for something like that? She wished she knew.

But he was here, of his own accord. Even under the guise of an obligated packmate; she knew he was seeking something else, regardless of whether or not he was aware of it.

All she'd been wanting was a chance to talk to him, and to have him hear, and now she had him where she wanted him. More or less trapped, and if she spoke; he would be forced to listen. If only she knew what to say.

She supposed she could start with giving him the only thing he'd ever wanted from her. The truth.

"I've apologized all I can," she finally surmised aloud, "and there is nothing more I can say in that regard."

At last, she finally understood. He didn't need, or want, her words of apology. They were useless.

"I just wish I hadn't wasted so much time worrying about the future."

But so close, and face to face, he was no longer able to ignore her. Nor the conflicting clash of feelings he'd been trying so desperately to evade. Now he refused to look away, and from this distance; she looked utterly exhausted. The darkness beneath her eyes and a firm, resigned scowl made it impossible for him to avoid, and as bad as he felt before; knowing that – seeing it – pained him even further.

But that glint of fierce determination, that fire, ever present in her stunning ocean eyes was not completely snuffed out, and it eased his ache just a bit.

"I regret not being with you that way, and if I could call you mine for just a night, just a moment, I would be happy with that."

He hid his surprise well, simply watching on in interest as she continued her confession. And if she was embarrassed at all; her determination overrode it enough to keep it concealed.

"I can't change what happened. Unfortunately, I can't travel any further into the past than right now. But it's up to you how we go forward." Neither broke eye contact as she lifted her hands to rest on his shoulders, and resumed a light stroking motion.

He had her effectively caged in with his face suspended above hers, but she had him rendered motionless with only her words. Trapped in the pull of her gaze, with no means of escape.

"You think your choices have been taken, that you've lost control over your world. But you still have the power to dictate your future. How do you want your life to go from here?"

Remnants of the monk's lecture began filtering into his brain, followed by Rin's. They were things he'd vowed to think on, but the opium made it hard to concentrate too effectively. It was hard, even now.

But she seemed to take his thoughtful pause as a sign he was considering her, and that encouraged her to keep going.

"It's up to you. You can choose to never forgive me, and go on resenting me for my mistake forever." Finally then, the barest hints of hope curled up the corners of her mouth. "Or you can forgive me, and try to put this behind us. And if you do, I promise you won't regret it." Her assurances were offered with conviction, and she stopped rubbing him to emphasize the importance. "How are we going to deal with this?"

And that was the question, laid out as plainly as it could possibly be, he supposed.

And he just didn't know. He knew what he wanted, and what he definitely didn't want. But when had that ever mattered for anything?

"We all make mistakes," she added, seeing him begin to waver, "it's just a part of being human. Another part is learning how to live with yourself after."

Only human. That was what the monk said. But looking down at the face of the woman who'd stood beside him, laid beneath him and fought against him countless times; he realized the man was only half right.

There was no 'only' about her. Or him.

But he was wrong on another account. They all were.

They said there were two options; they said he could choose his path. But he realized then that he never had a choice.

There was always only one option.

"The wish was a mistake," he finally declared, glaring sternly into the troubled features just inches below his. "A stupid, thoughtless mistake, but a mistake all the same."

Obvious shame was present in her expression when his hardened even further. "It is the weeks of lying that is so difficult for me to forgive. How do I get through to you, foolish woman?"

"You did," she assured him viciously, and grabbed his shoulders tight. "I swear you did. Ask me anything, _anything_ and I will tell you. I will never lie to you again, no matter what."

Her desperate plea hung between them as he considered her for a long, heart-stopping moment.

He wanted it to be the case as much as she did, but he remained uncertain that she could follow through, even if she intended to.

But he saw an opportunity here, and he was going to seize it. There was one claim she made that had always triggered doubt in his mind, no matter how many times she vowed it. If he was ever going to get an honest answer; he figured now was likely the occasion.

"Would you truly wish to remain with This One in his demon form," he asked gravely, "after all I have done? If it did not put either of us in danger, would you wish to belong to the real me?"

He was studying her very intently, but she didn't need to think about it at all. She took a moment to smile nonetheless. "In a heartbeat."

He still wasn't fully convinced, though he did believe she _thought_ she was being truthful. At least he had her on the record, but he supposed it didn't matter. He would never be demon again anyhow, so why dwell upon it?

There were much more efficient uses of his time and energy, and two of them were stabbing painfully into his chest at the moment. She clearly wasn't warm enough.

When he shifted slightly and began to pull away; a rush of panic coursed through her, but she soon realized his perceived retreat was simply a slight readjustment.

Maintaining her gaze as he drifted lower down her body; Sesshoumaru stopped to hover above her aching breasts. She could only watch on, excitement, and anticipation filling every open space as her brain, and her breath emptied out. Once settled, he dipped his head and wrapped his lips around a tightened peak.

Kagome cried out in relief as she threw back her head, and the hands gripping his shoulders slid easily into his hair. She pulled him closer, demanding more as he used the heat of his mouth to relax her painfully stiff nipple.

His tongue slid frantically over the hardened bud, flicking back and forth endlessly to make the tissue soften. She forced him into her generous breast more harshly, causing the fat to disperse and expand around his face.

Grinding shamelessly into his firm torso; she did little to restrain her reaction to his touch. In return, he sucked harder on her tender flesh as he used his moist heat to ease her tension, and soothe her pain. And by extension, his own.

By the time the bud atop her breast had softened; his hair was messed up beautifully. His sweat-soaked strands stole the moisture from her palms, and her treatment of them left him looking deliciously feral.

He chanced another look as he transferred to the other breast and found himself the subject of her half-lidded gaze.

Another moan was released into the air as he began the wonderful torture anew, making up for her recent absence by letting his taste buds finally get their fill.

He hadn't enjoyed himself with her the first time he'd done this. At least, that was what he told himself. But this time he would not be so foolish.

He let himself bask, and appreciate, and acknowledge his attraction to this woman, and assured himself it was okay.

She appeared to be doing the same; losing herself to sensation, and making no attempt to withhold her natural reaction to him.

When her firm, constricted peaks were reduced to jello; he finally removed himself.

She mourned the loss of him with a short whine as he crawled his way back up her trembling form, locking her in his hungry gaze as he prowled closer.

Her yukata was wide open, falling from her shoulders uselessly as he planted his elbows outside of them. Suspended above her; he felt his saliva returned to him when her nipples brushed teasingly against his chest.

He held himself there a moment; looking down into needy, lustful eyes, but hated the twinge of fear he detected. When he vowed to never hurt her, he meant physically, but that wasn't what she was afraid of now. Not anymore.

His gaze drifted to her lips, and lingered covetously while her hands slid down to rest over his collar bone.

He was close enough to tickle her with his sodden bangs, and breath as it mingled and danced with hers. His bare skin was warm under her palms when he finally lowered his head, and gently covered her mouth with his own.

Her fingers curled against his naked flesh as her eyes slammed closed to help her revel in the familiar feeling. As eager as they both were; this kiss was careful, and unrushed. Soft lips moved together slowly, savoring the moment and drawing it out as long as possible.

It wasn't until his teeth grazed her bottom lip, and he pulled it gently between them in a playful bite that she opened herself to him in invitation.

He seized it slowly also; taking his time to run his tongue along her abused flesh in apology, and placed a chaste kiss there before finally taking her up on her offer.

The slick appendage breached her entrance with confidence, quickly meeting her own and sliding himself over its expanse.

As they continued kissing; he felt her hand begin to travel lower. Sliding past his pebbled nipple; she continued on her path until reaching the defined muscles in his stomach. She moaned into his mouth as she stoked him there, letting her fingertips glide over each individual abdominal appreciatively before resuming her journey southbound.

Grabbing tightly at his shoulder; she forced her other hand past his waistband and through the soft curls above his pubic region.

When at last she reached her goal, and slid her palm over his shaft; what she found there gave her pause. She hesitantly closed her fingers around him and felt something she hadn't since their first night together in the cave.

That was the last time she'd encountered him soft. She'd almost forgotten it could be that way around her.

The first time made sense. He'd almost died; he was cold. And he was no fan of hers whatsoever.

But now, he was kissing her; he'd been licking her tits. Why wasn't he turned on?

Did she not excite him anymore? Was he really that mad at her? Mad enough to thwart biology?

He must have picked up on her budding panic and insecurity as she tensed beneath him and her lips became unresponsive.

He pulled away, officially ending the kiss, and looked down at her apologetically.

"The opium makes it... hard," he explained gently, in response to her unasked question.

He looked slightly embarrassed as she registered his meaning, and felt herself relax.

Her shame washed away, but appeared to be seeping into him somewhat at her discovery. She sought to ease the discomfort the only way she knew how.

"It doesn't; that's the problem," she replied with an awkward smirk, and was pleased when he huffed in amusement.

She'd never considered that as a possible side-effect, and a hopeful part of her wondered if that was perhaps part of the reason he'd tempered his desire for her so masterfully.

She didn't doubt his anger at her was more than enough to do the trick, but if his desire was stripped away all together; it might have made it easier for him.

Maybe not, but it assuaged her worries that he could ignore his attraction to her so effortlessly.

Still, it was worrisome all the same.

She fixed him with an uneasy smile, and offered her gentle suggestion. "Maybe it's finally time to stop."

She hadn't been able to convince him to quit so far, but if it was starting to affect his libido; maybe he was finally willing to listen.

Plus, he didn't have so much to worry about with Rin anymore, and he was talking to her again... Maybe he would let her soothe his pain instead.

There was something light and thoughtful in his eyes as he gazed down into hers, and the small smile that graced his lips was promising.

"Perhaps you are right," he conceded, and lifted a hand to brush away her wayward bangs.

She smiled dazzlingly in response, and prompted him to make a hushed promise. "I can still keep you warm," he assured her, sparkling mischievously.

Pleasantly confused, she pulled her hand out of his pants to wrap her arms around his shoulders as he shifted his weight onto one elbow. Moving slightly to the side of her; he surprised her by sliding his hand inside her panties and instantly found the swollen bundle of nerves.

She drew in a sharp gasp as he stroked her there, running his two fingers between her outer lips and drawing pleasing patterns into her flesh.

Their noses were nearly touching as he commanded her gaze, relishing the faces she made as he played with her clit. Her eyes slammed shut to focus on his touch, and she bucked greedily into his hand as he refamiliarized himself with the slick flesh between her legs.

His lips parted slightly when he traveled lower to rub against her opening and felt how wet she was already. She gasped again at the contact, and let her jaw hang open at the sensation as he cruelly teased her around the perimeter.

She whined in protest when he abruptly removed his hand, but quickly understood his reason when he lifted his two probing fingers to rest upon her lips. He was still watching her intently, and she held his gaze as she opened her mouth and slowly took them in all the way.

He loved watching himself slip inside her, and drew out the show for his enjoyment. The feel of her strong lips wrapped tightly around him as her tongue got in on the action was heavenly. And the look of her concave cheeks as she applied her sucking pressure would be forever burned inside his brain.

When she reached the base; she closed her eyes in bliss and made a show of sucking them all the way back to the tip, and back down again. He groaned at the sight she made, and the sensation as she lubed herself up to be penetrated.

Then, she grabbed his hand with both of hers; watching him watching her unfold his ring finger to enter her mouth as well.

His eyes became hooded as he watched her fellate all three at once, working her neck and her tongue to get him prepared, and to entice.

He still wasn't hard, and he vowed to himself right then to take what little was left of that opium and throw it in the fire.

When his fingers left her mouth for the last time, he shoved them back inside her underwear and used just one to part her opening.

He eased himself in gently, and as she gripped him; memories came flooding back in an instant.

He had been demon then, so his finger wasn't quite as long, nor his senses as acute, but the way she squeezed just one little digit so snugly caused his breath to leave his lungs in a long, shaky gasp.

Buried to the last knuckle; he reveled in the tight, wet feeling a moment and let his eyelids drift shut.

"You have not been preparing for me," he accused breathily, pulling out almost completely before entering her to the hilt again.

"Y-you were supposed to do it."

He cracked an eye at her, followed by the other as he took in her quaking form.

He was trembling too, he realized, and forced himself to calm.

"So I was."

He eased himself in and out a few more times to let her get used to the sensation before positioning the second finger at her entrance.

Her breathing became rougher as her pulse began to race.

Panting slightly above her; he waited to have her attention before he continued. He was looking upon her with genuine concern. "I do not want to hurt you."

"Neither do I," she answered breathily, features turning sad and soft. "and I am so sorry I did."

His expression mirrored her pain, while at the same time his two fingers teased her lower opening.

"I know."

She grabbed his upper arms to stop him as he began to enter, and he obediently froze.

"When you hurt, I hurt," she needed him to know. "Just like you said after the bridge; what happens to you, happens to both of us. I just want you to be happy."

He scanned her face a moment from above, before the ghost of a smile relayed his contentedness. That made her smile back.

Then, he resumed penetration.

A pleasured cry left her throat as he carefully wedged her open, sawing both fingers in and out. The nerves inside relished the drag of his flesh, and the bite of her nails into his shoulders was interpreted as approval.

He watched her wince, and scream, and bite her lip in pleasure; savoring every way he could make her face contort with just a slip of his wrist.

She was still so tight, and he nearly reconsidered adding the third digit, but if she were ever going to be able to accept him; he would need to stretch her out at least a little. The last time was terribly frustrating, and would not be repeated.

He groaned low in his throat when she finally took all three. Prying her apart very slowly at first; she soon got over the initial discomfort. He descended on her throat as she bared it to him, dragging his mouth over all her favorite spots as she threw back her head to moan her appreciation.

Her firm grip around him had loosened only slightly, but it was a start. When he added his thumb to rub practiced circles into her clit as well; she began thrusting into his hand to increase the friction, and he knew she was close.

He watched her face display the telltale signs of her impending orgasm. He watched her tremble, and seize, before becoming completely stiff and letting the feeling wash through her.

A sharp, loud cry signified her release, and a sense of relief washed over him as well.

How he'd missed that.

Flat on her back and gasping for breath; she barely registered when he slid out of her, and proceeded to use his tongue to lick himself clean of her juices. She released her grip on his shoulders, freeing him as well and leaving several small crescents in the wake of her own formidable fingertips.

He continued to loom over; panting heavily onto flushed skin with hot, shaky breath. He loved watching her slowly regain her senses, and relished pridefully that it was he who took her so far from them.

Her chest rose and fell dramatically in his periphery, and he let his gaze wander down until stopping upon her soft, pillowy breasts. His lips twisted into a slight frown, however, as he noticed faintly broken skin around the perimeter of her areolas. But it was quickly remedied.

Smirking; he lifted his hand that was still damp, but now free of her ejaculate and took her in his palm. Grateful, appreciative noises were made as he kneaded and lightly squeezed, until dark lashes fluttered open to find kind eyes watching beneath his perspiring brow.

"You are warm," he announced, taking her relaxed nipple as proof. Her warm, sweat-sheened skin was another clue. "I think my debt is finally repaid."

No, he hadn't exactly saved her life tonight, as she had done for him. But she could have caught a cold. And he had saved her life since then, so he was willing to call it close enough.

"You don't owe me anything," she assured him nonetheless, and he released her.

He reached to remove a few locks out of her eyes, tucking them gently behind her ear with care.

"I do," he insisted. "One thing more." She watched on curiously, nearly losing herself in his doting features as he lightly brushed her cheek. "I never thanked you, for saving me that night."

No, he hadn't. But she hadn't expected him to. She knew outward expressions of gratitude just weren't his way, but she had learned to read them in his behavior. Still, it felt nice to hear it.

"Being truthful; I wished more than once that you had left me in that snowy bank."

Initially stunned; her expression turned somber at the heartbreaking admission. "But if you had, Rin would still be with those tigers."

But just like that; the acknowledgement he offered settled over her like a warm blanket. It didn't wipe it all away, but absorbed and diluted the feeling until it no longer dominated her.

He was recognizing the impact of her assistance, and validated it. He was telling her with sincerity that even though it was her doing, her efforts to rectify it were appreciated.

Tears began to well, but her blurry vision could detect a change in him then. Though she couldn't recognize what it was; it was something genuine.

"And if you hadn't, I would also never have known..."

He appeared to struggle for a moment as his statement drifted off into the air around them. She waited on baited breath for him to finish his thought, but he either didn't know, or couldn't say the rest.

It would be left for her to interpret. It would be up to her if she wished to allow herself to feel hope like that again, despite all the good it had done her.

But for now; it was more than enough to satisfy her, and bring her turbulence to a halt at long last. At least for a moment.

He looked down at her appreciatively, and she forgot to breath. "So, thank you, Kagome."

She placed her hand over his, and latched on as he clasped his fingers over hers.

"You're welcome."

They gazed at each other a moment, and she rested her free hand on his chest, sliding it up to smooth apologetically over the broken skin.

"What are you thinking?" he wondered aloud, and she smiled a little wider.

"The same thing I was thinking the last time we were like this. That you were the most beautiful man I had ever seen."

He returned her smile, releasing her hand from his to rub along her collar bone.

"What are you thinking?"

Her question came out husky as he stroked beneath her throat, and down between the valley of her breasts. She hissed when he came back up, arching her back as he buried his nose in her shoulder, surrounding himself in her scent.

"I miss touching you."

He moved himself over her again, running his large hand all the way down to her thigh as his lips brushed along her neck. He pressed himself into her, tracing back up her side while nuzzling her bare skin, and she wrapped her arms around his back to pull him even closer.

"Does that mean you forgive me?" he heard her ask, and lifted his head.

The only answer she would receive was him pressing his lips to hers, as they spent the rest of the night making up for lost time.

The fire continued to roar wildly in the background, but he stayed to add his heat long after the hut was warm.

* * *

The next morning, he woke up in her sleeping bag alone.

A groggy glance at his surroundings told him a fresh fire had been lit in the hearth, and he was pleased to find the temperature in the hut was much better than it had been when he'd entered it.

He scanned the room, and finally found what he was looking for when the miko's image came into view. Sitting off to the side; she held her notebook against her knees while chewing on her writing utensil, apparently deep in thought.

He smiled, stretching slightly before flipping over on his stomach, and folding his arms in front of him as he propped up on his elbows. She noticed the movement, and turned to find him gazing happily at her, albeit with a cocked brow.

"I'm working on fixing your problem," she explained, answering his silent question. "Now that Rin's cured, it's time to focus on you."

His smile fell away as he set his mouth in a firm line.

It wasn't that he didn't appreciate her motivations, but he did not embark in pointless endeavors. As far as he saw it; it was a lost cause.

"I will change you back," she assured him, sensing his doubt. "I know I can find a way. Trust me."

It was a bold thing to ask, all things considered. But then again, her previous claims had rung true.

Before going to the future; she'd told him her poor track record and desire to prove herself would make her even more tenacious. She had nearly as much riding on fixing him as he did. And she had come through on her last promise, even though it ended up being unnecessary.

"What have you got to lose?"

Nothing, he supposed. But only because that was what he had. Should she fail, he would be no worse off than he was right then.

Fine. If she wanted his trust, he would grant it. He would suspend disbelief and entertain a return to youkai status as something possible.

He watched her rise, and make her way over to him with her cushion. When she threw it down in front of him, and knelt upon it; he responded by reaching out, and running a hand up her bare thigh, just under her skirt.

She swatted him away, realizing that she was taking this much more seriously than he was.

"I have an idea I've been working on, but I need your help."

He shifted more comfortably on his arms as she readied her pen.

"Let's make a list," she suggested, flipping to a blank page. "What have you learned about humans that you didn't know before?"

He was instantly taken back to the night he had coaxed her into a similar activity, and briefly wondered if this was only an exercise in confidence building.

Seeing him hesitate; she got the ball rolling. "How weak they are."

He scoffed. "I already knew that."

"Yes, you knew _of_ it," she replied, slightly annoyed. "But you didn't know what it _felt_ like. You've probably never lost a fight before." With a devious smile, she added, "Well, not to a human at least."

He scowled, easily reading the subtext. 'A hanyou, on the other hand...'

But she happily ignored it, scratching down the answer in her book. "Okay, so you've learned what human weakness feels like. What else?"

He understood her purpose now, and gave it some thought. "Helplessness," he admitted with a frown. "Being insufficient."

"Friendship?" she pitched hopefully, taking down his responses. "Caring about people. Teamwork."

"Pain," he added. Even minor blows hurt much worse than anything he'd sustained as a demon. It was really amazing they could get on at all.

"Guilt, maybe? Shame?" If he felt those things as a demon, he certainly didn't show it.

As she wrote, he fixed her with a weighty glare.

"Lust." Her pen stopped moving, and looked up at him. Then he clarified, "Uncontrollable lust."

She would agree that he had been more... amorous than she'd ever believed him capable. But perhaps that was just a side of himself he normally kept hidden.

"Embarrassment?" she added, cheeks pinkening. "Fear of failure?"

"Failing in general is something of which I am unaccustomed," he amended, "as well as fear." Though she noticed he didn't refute it.

Unable to help herself, a tiny smile broke through. "What about Tetsusaiga?" she taunted. Surely the sting of that failure had not been forgotten.

He glared at her flatly, and her smile only grew. "I have never known restraint until meeting the likes of you."

She gathered he was referring to the violent tendencies she tempted, as opposed to the lustful ones. His expression and tone also alluded to such.

She wrote it down either way.

"What else have I taught you?" she asked happily, and earned a thoughtful pause.

"Selflessness," he supplied, softening quite a bit. "Though I am not certain if I can learn it by observing."

He reached for her again, and this time; she didn't swat him away.

"You rescued us from prison," she pointed out instead, blushing slightly.

"Entirely selfish, I assure you."

"Uh-huh." Thinking a moment, she added, "Compassion. Protection."

"Rin already taught me those things." She grinned, but still added them to the list of things he knew.

"Relying on family. On pack."

"Cooking?" he floated, still stroking her thigh. "Massages?"

"Kissing?" she threw in, and blushed harder. "Never mind, I'm sure you've done that before."

"And if I hadn't?" he asked playfully, and she gave him a flat stare.

"Then, you're a natural. Besides, I know you've had sex before." She faltered a moment, considering perhaps she was being presumptuous about the particulars of demon mating. She'd always just assumed...

"Unless... Do demons do it differently?" Not that she knew how humans did it, personally, but she had the internet.

"Perhaps, when I am myself again, you will find out."

He startled her with his breezy statement, but she brushed it off when she read his accompanying smile as teasing. "I thought when you were yourself again, you were leaving us."

"I am leaving this village," he clarified, but she kept her eyes on her paper as she wrote.

"See? That means we can't."

"Does it?"

"Yes," she insisted confidently, and curtly. "We've talked about this, and we both agreed it was a bad idea."

"Perhaps I am learning to reconsider my decrees as well."

He was far too quick and careless with his responses for her taste. She was glad they were on good terms again, but it changed nothing about their situation. She did not want to go around the block with him on this another time.

"You don't mean that." 'Or you better not,' was written all over her face and posture.

"Have I ever spoken an untruth to you? Out of the two of us, you are the dishonest one."

"I didn't exactly lie," she countered defensively, then lifted her chin. "I omitted. For my safety, by the way."

He scoffed and removed his hand from her knee. "You had my word I would not harm you."

"You said you wouldn't kill me," she reminded him pointedly. "Harm was not off the table."

"Do you think I intend to harm you?"

She took a moment to answer, and he condemningly lifted his brow.

"Maybe not on purpose," she finally conceded. "But after you bring me out West for a few days, maybe a few weeks, then you get sick of me-"

"Miko, we have traveled together for nearly two moon cycles," he pointed out firmly. "I am not going to get any more sick of you than I already am."

"You're putting up with me because you have no other option." When he frowned at her, she forced her demeanor to lighten. "Once you are a big, important demon again; you won't want me cramping your style."

His scowl only persisted, and deepened at her assessment of him. And her flippancy.

"You presume much."

"Look," she huffed, slamming her pen flat against her notebook. "I will do everything I can to get you demon again. And it's not because I want to get rid of you. Trust me, its despite it. But whatever we're doing..." she gestured between them, "it can't continue."

He looked irritated, and upset as the mood in the room turned somber. Trying to save it; she lifted her chin resignedly and tried to project confidence. "The Lord of the West does not consort with mikos. And Kagome does not leave her friends and her life for some hot fling."

He hated being referred to as such, and he hated the idea of anything standing in the way of what he wanted. And he wanted her; he'd already decided.

Perhaps Rin's retrieval and upgrade in condition had bolstered his confidence and lessened his guilt somewhat, but since Toran's visit; he'd been walking on new air.

It was one thing if he were human, and perhaps it was his human weaknesses and insecurities that even allowed him to entertain he could be vanquished. But in his demon form; he was unstoppable.

Rin never would have been taken, and Kagome would never be harmed, should he ever change back.

It was a longshot anyway, so the argument was very likely moot. But as long as they were pretending he might change back, could they not pretend he could get everything he wanted? Everything they both wanted?

At least, she'd claimed it was what she wanted.

"You are all welcome to stay in the West," he offered firmly, and officially. "Your aid has more than earned you-"

"We don't want to move in with you."

He hid the pain of her statement well, covering it expertly with hardened features.

"You would speak for your friends?" he asked, and despite his façade; she could tell she'd offended him. It made her soften her approach.

" _I_ _can't_ move in with you."

She knew he was displeased, and she hated it. But she forced herself to steel, still unwilling to put him in the position Izayoi had put his father in.

"I will be by your side for as long as you're human," she assured him gently, reaching out to touch his arm as he purposefully looked away. "And if that turns out to be the rest of our lives, then I will know I failed you. My goal is to get you back to you, so you can move on with your life. And so can we."

It was so cold, so clinical, so unlike her of a response that he couldn't help but turn to her in scrutiny.

He knew it was coming from a place of concern, but her lack of faith in him was more than a little insulting.

This woman used to follow her heart at all costs. What happened to her?

The answer was clear, and cut him to the bone.

"You taught me something else I have never known until now," he said through darkened features. "Rejection. Disappointment. Regret."

He saw sadness taint her eyes before she averted them downward, but was not deterred.

"I wonder what I have taught you," he continued instead, resentfully. "Apathy? Indifference? Cold-heartedness? Cruelty?"

She kept her lips sealed as he removed himself from her bag and grabbed his haori off the floor.

"You said you would wish to remain with This One." He reminded her of the claim she'd made just last night, and she heard the underlying accusation. 'Did you lie to me again? As you swore you never would?'

But he left out a very important part, and he knew it.

"If it wasn't dangerous, but it is. Putting you in danger is the one thing I won't do for you."

Perhaps he should be pleased of her concern for him, but he only found it insulting. Insinuating that anyone could possibly best him in his demon form.

Once dressed; he stood before her until she looked up at him from where she still knelt.

"You have my invitation to join me in the West once this is all over. There, we can share the fruits of our success together."

Striding past her to the door, prepared to leave; he cast one last look her way.

"If you decline," he warned her darkly, "do not cite demon prejudice as your reason for refusing. That would in fact be human error."

* * *

There was a hot spring very close by that the miko was quite fond of, but Sesshoumaru preferred the cold bite of the nearby stream.

The cloud was finally beginning to lift from his weeks-long drug-induced haze, and he hoped a refreshing wash in the freezing water would help to sober his messy thoughts.

Clarity came at a cost, however, as he was forced all at once to inventory and assess everything he'd been artfully avoiding, as well as endure the return of thoughts and feelings that were proving quite uncomfortable in stark contrast to the 'nothing' he'd been reveling in for weeks.

Beside a large bolder for privacy; he lathered himself up with the soap the miko had given him. He scrubbed vigorously, removing layers of sweat from his muscular frame and out of his hair, and submerged himself in the ice-cold water.

At least his skin could be numb. He wished he could say the same for the rest of him, but illness was spreading through every organ, screaming at him to take his medicine. He would not comply.

He distracted himself from his pains by indulging in another form of torture, and obsessing over the miko's refusal of him.

Why did it bother him so much? It wasn't like he was ever going to be demon again anyway, so why waste the energy?

She would remain with him while human, and he would be human until his death, so why fight about it?

Perhaps it was the rejection that irked him. Or her belief that his demon self could actually be defeated.

Or maybe it was that little voice that told him she still did not fully accept him in that form, and never would.

He supposed it could be a little of all of those. But none of them mattered. If he was cursed to live his days in mortal flesh, none of those things would ever be an issue either of them had to contend with, so it was foolish to think on them.

There was another part of all this that bothered him, however, and it was something that could not be avoided. In fact, it would be ever present, every second of every day until one of them died.

He'd accused her once of scheming to have him remain as human, to keep him near. But he saw the conviction in her eyes when she vowed never to rest until she'd cured him of the curse she unknowingly bestowed upon him.

Another self-imposed duty to make him whole, and her recompense complete.

He didn't doubt it had more to do with the former, but it all amounted to the same thing.

He did not wish to be human, but he was willing to accept his fate. She, however, was going to torture herself with this pointless task for the rest of her days.

Every day, she would be doing all that she could to make him demon; all the while, presumably making a life by his side. That part didn't sound so bad to him, except that with her refusal; it meant she would be actively working against her own happiness. Either way, she lost. Either way, he would be the reason she could never be truly happy.

If she could either give up on trying to fix him, or agree to come along when she did, she could be happy with him. But she would do neither. He was so tired of bringing human women pain; ruining their lives.

And it would be in his face every day. It would wear her down. _He_ would.

As much as he wanted her, he couldn't deny she would be far better off without him.

But she would never cast him off, and he couldn't leave without hurting her. Hell, she'd probably track him down.

He didn't want this for her. And truthfully, he didn't want it for himself.

A mortal life by her side would be acceptable, even perhaps enjoyable, if it were not to her detriment. But it would be far from ideal.

And with her throwing her life away to pursue some pointless endeavor that would never be achieved; it made the notion downright unbearable.

He couldn't imagine living like that for fifty years. Only to what? Die of some human illness, if he was lucky? He was a warrior, for kami sake. The only honorable life and death was one by the sword.

Living out his days human was not ideal, but dragging her along for the miserable ride would be excruciating. He couldn't do it. But what choice did he have?

How could he get her off this sinking ship while inflicting the least amount of damage?

His musings were cut short when he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder.

Sliding his gaze downward; it narrowed in annoyance as he discovered the source.

He put an end to it with a firm slap, and peeled his palm away to reveal the old flea pancaked against his skin.

"Myoga," he acknowledged darkly, and returned to washing himself in the waist-deep stream. "I must have truly weakened if you found the nerve to enter my presence willingly, let alone feast upon This One."

With a pop; the youkai filled out again, and immediately assumed a submissive pose; bowing several times in rapid succession as stress tears flew out of his eyes.

"I apologize master. I have traveled a long way in a very short time; I am desperately in need of sustenance. I assure you; I am terrified."

"Then why are you here?" he asked dispassionately, not bothering to look his way.

"The Western Lands are under attack."

That got his attention, and he finally deigned to turn his head. "Or they're about to be. A rogue tiger youkai has been spreading rumors about milords, um..." he fumbled cautiously, "condition. At least, I prayed they were rumors."

That explained his lack of surprise.

He'd worried about that. Shit.

He'd hoped his visit to the Northern Lord on his demon night would buy him some time, but it appeared to have been cut short. He should have tracked him down once Rin was safe, instead of-

"Your guard posts in the South have come under siege. A neko youkai has partnered with an elemental to corrupt a number of your soldiers, and there are others who wish to do the same. News of your humanity has stirred deep unrest, and even turned some of them against you." Myoga twiddled his hands together nervously, while casting Sesshoumaru a wary glance. "They do not wish to serve a human."

He knew that would become a problem sooner or later, but he was hoping for later.

He was already aware there were some traitors working with the pumas and elemental youkai, per Juzo himself, but that issue had been pushed to the backburner. It wasn't like he could have done much about it.

But they were planning these attacks in all the lands, not just the West. News of his... condition must have put him in their crosshairs, and sped the process along. He could expect much more of the same.

"The Fortress?" he demanded tersely.

"Stands. Your general has the soldiers bracing for an attack, however. The rogue has gathered his allies and they are making their way West as we speak."

That was actually a relief. If his general was aware of the impending attack, his foes would be defeated capably.

"My soldiers are more than equipped to handle a rogue threat."

"I thought so too, sire. But Toran-sama insisted I come. She wished me to tell you that 'he has the magic,' whatever that means." Myoga paused thoughtfully. "What does that mean?"

Shit. He should have known. No way that tiger would risk his neck running his mouth unless he had his secret weapon. Not to mention charging into his territory head on.

The question was; what allies were he coming with? And how many were there?

"At any rate," the flea continued, seeing he would not receive a response, "she wishes to assure you that she is ordering all of her forces West to assist you, but she is wary of what she may encounter when she arrives. News of your humanity has spread like wildfire, and many will wish to see for themselves... and will almost certainly make a play for your lands."

At least he had Toran. She knew this magic, and the nekos, better than anyone, he assumed. And she was a formidable force in battle with strong allies.

Still, it did not sit right to have others defending what was his.

"I see," he finally said, followed by a long moment of silence. When he felt tiny eyes boring into him, however, he looked down irritably at his shoulder. "What?"

His menacing demand had Myoga fumbling with his hands again.

"Um, perhaps milord would like to... appoint someone."

"Name a successor, you mean."

He'd considered it himself, but so far, had been unable to come to a decision. Even giving the matter thought caused his blood to boil.

"If you do not choose, I fear the power vacuum will bring every ambitious youkai with an ounce of hubris out of the woodwork. I would hate to see the West end up in the wrong hands."

The old flea jumped when pinned with Sesshoumaru's heavy glare. "Any hands but mine are the wrong ones."

"Yes sir. I agree," he groveled, bowing down once more. Then, he tentatively lifted his head. "But who would you like me to tap?"

He considered Myoga a long moment, causing the old flea to produce sweat, until finally – mercifully – he looked away.

"No one," he announced stoically, "I shall face the threat myself."

Already bug-eyes grew buggier, and he began to flail in panic.

"But milord-"

"They are my lands," he was quick to remind. "If any wish to take them from me, they must do it by force."

"You'll be killed."

"Most likely," he conceded.

"It needn't be!"

"What do you suggest I do?" He was being condescending, but he really did want to know. Perhaps he would learn today why his father kept on the old advisor.

"Your foes may know you are human, but nobody knows where you are. I highly suggest you remain here."

"For how long?" he demanded.

Myoga stuck his hands his sleeves. "Forever." When Sesshoumaru's lip curled in a fangless sneer, he added, "Or as long as you are like this, at least."

Nope. Still had no idea why his father retained him.

"You suggest that I hide. Why does that not surprise me?"

"If you go, it will be suicide."

"Better than to concede defeat," he decided. "I shall die in battle; I could not live with myself otherwise."

Of all the options he'd considered, it was the first one that actually felt right. It aligned with his gut and his heart, and it felt good to finally have them all in agreement.

If he could never be demon again; dying in battle, protecting what was his, was the only suitable option remaining to him.

Not to mention, with him gone in a blaze of glory, Kagome and Rin would finally be free. They could get on with their lives, and not need to concern themselves with his any longer. It was perfect.

"But what about your loved ones?" Myoga implored. "They would be heartbroken."

He forced a scoff, then insisted, "I have no one."

"That is not how it appeared."

The ensuing silence warned the old flea to tread carefully, but only served to delay him. He normally wouldn't press the Western Lord - he valued his life after all - but things were growing more dire by the second. He was getting desperate.

"You and Kagome-sama have become... close."

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed dangerously, causing the youkai to recoil.

"Did Toran tell you that?"

"No, milord."

He thought a moment on who else could have possibly alerted him to such a thing, and began to panic. Who else out there knew about Kagome? If word got out about how close she was to him, they would eventually come for her. This was exactly what he was trying to avoid.

But no one was coming to mind. He certainly hadn't flaunted their connection, nor his identity for that matter, throughout their little journey. He thought he had been careful, but perhaps he had become complacent.

Just when he was going to demand answers, another option hit him like a steel block.

When he spoke next; his voice contained an extra layer of ice.

"When exactly did you arrive in this village?"

Knowing he was caught; Myoga floundered nervously. He really hoped this wouldn't come up.

"Well, uh, last night, if you really needed to know." Suspicions confirmed, Sesshoumaru sharpened his already very pointy glare. "I would have come to you sooner," he assured him defensively, "but when I found you, you were, er... otherwise occupied."

So he had been spying on him. He hated not having his demon senses.

He should kill the flea right now for seeing Kagome in that state. He actually might have, had his priorities not given him pause.

He should want to kill him for witnessing _him_ in such a humiliating position; seeing to a mortal's pleasure. But he wasn't humiliated. Not at all.

In fact, the offense little more than annoyed him.

"You have a very enviable set up right here, milord. Most men would-"

"I am not most men."

Myoga silenced. That was true.

Nonetheless, he continued to try and convince him.

"I see no reason for you to sacrifice yourself. Let your allies defend you for once; you've earned the right to sit out just one fight."

"And what about the next?" he demanded sharply. "And the one after that? Once everyone knows; they will come for me soon enough."

"Not if they don't know where you are."

The flea hoped to god his silence meant he was considering it. What good was an advisor if his advice was not heeded? He had to make him see reason, so he decided to try a new tactic.

"As a demon, you had legions of loyal soldiers who would die for you in battle, but no one who truly cared for you."

"I do not-"

"Hey Sesshoumaru!" The argument was interrupted when Inuyasha stuck his head out of the tree line a short distance away, and stole both their attention. "You know humans get sick if they bathe in the freezing cold too long right? Hurry your ass up so we can spar already!"

He disappeared back into the forest without having spotted Myoga, apparently. Sesshoumaru was ignoring the old flea's accusing stare, seemingly daring him to refute the bug's earlier claim.

He wisely opted not to call the ex-daiyoukai out.

"These humans... they care," he insisted instead. "Do not take that for granted. Do you not care to protect them from your death? The pain it would cause them?"

"I am more concerned with theirs." The firm declaration stopped the old flea cold. He could only gawk back with wide eyes as Sesshoumaru furrowed his brow angrily, and loomed closer. He lowered his voice with deceptive calm. "What do you think will happen to them once my foes learn of my location?"

Devoid of answers; he looked away nervously while the human pulled back, and began making his way back to shore.

"They will find out eventually," Sesshoumaru assured him, grabbing his towel off a large rock and drying himself off. "What do you think they will do to them?"

Myoga avoided getting brushed away as he roughly dried his hair, and then began to redress.

"I am dead either way," he said grimly, and so certain it gave the old bug chills. "I prefer to die with some honor, and without innocent blood on my hands."

Knowingly or not, the little flea had come along and answered the riddle for him.

Rin and Kagome would mourn him, but could be proud that he died protecting his lands. In time, they would forget, and live safely and free of guilt.

He, on the other hand, would not be forced to drag out this tortuous human existence any longer than necessary. Hopefully, a worthy opponent would be the one to deal the blow, so his legacy could remain at least partly intact.

His allies were strong. He was confident one of them would pick up the mantle, and hopefully continue what he had begun, as opposed to tearing it all down in favor of tyranny.

And as far as Inuyasha and the others... they would never need to know.

If made aware what he had planned; they would insist on coming along to help. And while his father's fang would be useful in the upcoming battle, it wouldn't be enough to ensure their safety. Not against those numbers, and the magic they now had.

And a miko's arrows would certainly be affective, but there was no way he was bringing her there. He'd wager pure women were not easy to come by, and he was not about to bring her to them on a platter to assist them with their magic.

If he were youkai, it would be different. He could protect them at every turn. But like this... no. He would not allow it. This was a battle best left to demons of experience. And him. They had nothing to do with this.

By the time they learned of his death, the war would already be over. They were far enough removed that they would be safe. It was settled.

"I will depart at dusk," he told the distressed flea once he emerged from inside his collar. "Return to Toran, and tell her to go straight to General Jiro to coordinate their tactics."

Myoga dejectedly realized there was no arguing with him now. All that was left to be as much help to him as he could.

He was certainly no good at talking dog demons out of running off to their certain deaths. Why were they so eager to meet their fates?

"What will you do when you arrive?"

"I will fight," he said simply. "I may lose the war, but I vow I will take that tiger youkai down with me. His life is mine."

When Myoga failed to leave on his own accord; Sesshoumaru took it upon himself to pluck him from his shoulder.

Suspended between his forefinger and thumb; he placed him inside his palm and readied his other hand to flick. But the flea lobbied for just a moment more, which he resentfully granted, but his patience was running thin.

"If you really plan to go," the old vassal warned him, "savor your time with them. You'll regret it if you do not."

He had no response, except to ready his flicking finger once again.

"So will they," Myoga added.

And then, he was sent sailing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks, we're nearing the end. Next chapter will be the finale (unless something crazy happens), followed by an epilogue. I'm thankful to all of you who were there from the beginning, as well as everyone who hopped aboard along the way. I hope I've kept it interesting, unpredictable, and satisfying for you. It's been real fun seeing your reactions, I have to say XD
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	34. To Die For (Finale part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know I said this was gonna be the finale. And it is!
> 
> but just the 1st half, lol. Something crazy happened, and the chapter got way too long (I know, shocker right?), so after some debate, I decided to make it a 2-parter. I'd say the 2nd half is more than halfway done at least, but I got a few scenes to go, then editing. but now that this is out of my hair, I think the rest should be more manageable for me.
> 
> Enjoy, and prepare for flashback!

_200 years ago..._

When Sesshoumaru crossed the threshold into the Western Lord's study, he preened at successfully entering the fortress undetected.

He was a master of stealth, true, but his youki was imposing. It required a great deal of skill to mask it completely, particularly considering the sharp-nosed inu soldiers of the famed Western Army.

He was not second in command simply by virtue of being his father's son; Sesshoumaru's position as lieutenant had been earned by merit alone. Nepotism played no role in in the young demon's elevated position. In reality, his father was the lone reason he wasn't ranked higher.

Though it would not be so for long.

He deflated a touch once he realized Inu no Taisho was not in the vicinity. His accomplishment sneaking into the great general's study was decidedly less impressive without Lord of the West there.

Though he could detect his mother way off in the east wing, and she was no easier to evade than her mate. But Sesshoumaru couldn't count it as a win. He required his victories to be undisputed facts, and that was what merited his presence.

From the Western Lord's chair, he scanned the room and reflected on his most recent travels.

Three weeks ago, he embarked on his patrols. As lieutenant in his father's army, and heir to the Western Lands, Inu no Taisho's duties were being passed off to him with increasing regularity.

The general was in no way weakening. Not physically.

In fact, he was stronger than ever before. But so was Sesshoumaru.

He'd had an ulterior motive for taking off on this particular route of patrols.

The heir had his sights on any youkai rumored to be the strongest in his lands. He would challenge each one, testing their mettle and his own to prove - to himself, and everyone else - that he was the strongest demon alive. And he had succeeded.

The first youkai was dispatched with minimal effort. It was child's play, much to his dissatisfaction.

The second made a more respectable effort, but was defeated with such gruesome brutality that by the time he located the third, the lord was so wrought with terror that he soiled himself upon the Daiyoukai's arrival, crying and begging pitifully for his life.

Disgusted by the cowardly display, Sesshoumaru refused to engage the pathetic youkai, cursing him to live out his days with the memory of his shameful defeat. For one such as the Western Prince, it was a far more harrowing fate.

After that, word had spread that the general's son sought the strongest among them to prove himself superior, and none were willing to test the inuyoukai's claim. It was disappointing.

He was so looking forward to finding a worthy opponent. It appeared only one now remained.

Sesshoumaru was born and bred to become the most powerful demon in existence, and everyone knew what exactly that entailed.

To prove himself fully worthy of the title, he must vanquish the strongest demon in the land. That just happened to be his father.

Toga knew this as well; it was a difficult truth. Instinct demanded his self-preservation, but even more, the security of his line. The ultimate success as a male and a father is to rear an heir even stronger than himself. If Sesshoumaru could conquer him, it meant he had succeeded; his line would live on, and he could be proud. Sesshoumaru was conflicted when he realized this as a young pup.

If he was to be the most powerful demon of all, he would need to defeat his sire in battle.

He admired his father greatly. He had certainly been guilty of tremendous hero worship in his youth, and none could blame him. Inu no Taisho was the most impressive and frightening demon the West had ever known. A legend in his own time.

The young heir had attempted to remedy this troubling eventuality by devising another method to prove himself superior. One that did not require him to take the life of the demon he idolized. But he realized the folly in this logic.

If he simply bested him in battle - even if his father did deign to yield - it would not be enough. There would be those who would question his true prowess, and rightfully so, he conceded.

Regardless, the point was moot. The great dog general would not damage his pride by admitting defeat at the hands of his son, or anyone. Sesshoumaru finally accepted that he would one day be forced to kill him.

As he aged, the heir's hero worship grew into something more sinister.

Inu no Taisho was his rival. He was a living, sentient symbol of the young demon's inadequacies. And as long as he drew breath, it announced loudly to the world that Sesshoumaru was not the best. That he was still weaker than his father. But that was no longer the case.

This three-week quest had proved that there was only one demon worth fighting, and if Sesshoumaru desired his rightful place as undisputed master and lord over the Western Realm – a being of unrivaled strength and power - he would have to dispatch him.

Deciding the time had come, Sesshoumaru eagerly returned to his homestead only to find that satisfaction had eluded him once more. His father was not on the premises, and the tips of his poison claws made a sacrifice of the priceless antique armchair when he realized where the Western Lord likely was.

And for as much as he hated it, he let his loathing consume him. It made it easier to do what he knew he knew he must.

"You're home." His mother's elegant voice drew him from his lament, surprising him with her sudden appearance into the study. That she could still avoid his detection irked him, but her own stealth was a thing of legend. He learned from the best.

She looked on with pride for only a moment before a deep foreboding claimed her perfect features in a rare act of betrayal. "How were your patrols?" she asked calmly, letting herself further inside the large room.

As she crossed to stand before him, her son rose respectfully, and she smiled. He'd been brought up well.

That fact was made clearer each day, and prevalent pride owned her aura. Yet conflict brewed within that she had not anticipated, pitting well-bred instinct against irrational, ceaseless heart pangs that only seemed to intensify with each passing year. It was getting harder to keep hidden, but she managed it beautifully.

"Uneventful, unfortunately." His response was stiff as his spine, square as his shoulders, and cold as the heart in his chest, even as he spoke to his own mother.

Just as he'd been trained to be, but Inukimi frowned nonetheless. A rare glance past her own practiced façade.

"I see. I am sorry to hear that."

He didn't respond, simply matched her weighty stare until she said what she wished. She was one of the few who could trounce him, but she was quick to concede this time. "So, tonight is the night, then?"

He continued to glare a moment, until he could discern the worry which slightly outweighed the admonishment. He didn't need to answer.

"When is Father to return?" He cut his gaze to the window in a way that could be read as anxiety or dismissal. Neither option pleased her.

"I suspect it should not be long."

He was clearly distracted as another long silence ensued, and she studied him in that time while considering how to communicate with her only child. It was getting more difficult with every attempt.

Luckily, the direct approach was his way, and the one she often favored. "Do you intend to make a widow of me, son?"

Her face remained impassive as his gaze slid back to hers. Imperceptibly startled at first; he quickly corrected through narrowed lids.

"You know that I must."

She knew his impassivity was just as honest as hers. None other would see it, but as his mother, his inner turmoil was plainly obvious.

"There are none who doubt your terrible strength and power," she informed him coolly. "Yet you insist on diminishing our family."

Something resentful flashed in his eyes, and the beginnings of a sneer slid up his deadly fang. His voice hardened in a way that no longer required effort, or practice.

"Incorrect," he countered darkly. "You may lay the blame for that at the feet of Father's ningen whore."

The violent crack burned his ears as it echoed through the hollow room, but the painful sting of his mother's strike affected his pride more than his cheek. Not that it didn't hurt. The brutal slap she delivered him send his face violently to the side.

He kept his head turned until the pain subsided, and churning honey regained prominence over receding red.

"You will not speak ill of your father," she commanded coldly, readjusting her clothing as she forced herself to calm. "And that woman is a princess; you shall afford her the proper respect."

His surprise at seeing his mother's rare slip in control was quickly outdone by incredulity, then rage at her demand.

The crimson had not bled out completely, and now his sneer was not so well concealed. "How can you defend the woman who at this very moment is writhing beneath your mate-"

Another loud crack, and violent snap to the side as she struck him once again on the same cheek.

This time, the physical pain was worse, and his bloody gaze was a two-way lens as his beast scraped to be freed. But though his glare promised death, he would not retaliate.

"It is not your business, son," she told him clearly, demanding obedience with the ferocity she reflected.

Her priorities confounded him, and saw him turning suspicious. Through that new lens, he had a demand of his own.

His lids narrowed dangerously, along with the pupils that bisected almond-shaped amber. "What is your relationship to that woman?"

She willed down her own incredulous rage, and it became clear where he'd inherited his defiant streak.

"I would not, if I were you, ask questions to which you do not want the answers."

His disgusted snarl warred the tint of mockery in her measured tone, and he had to look away.

He recalled the handful of times he'd scented the human woman's pleasure mingling with his mother's scent. The loathing he felt for his father then had been all the push he needed to make his denouncement complete. Apparently, he was foolish to assume it simply something residual, and cursed himself now for being so willfully blind to the truth.

But it took nothing away from the contempt he felt for the once-great demon. It only doubled his shame of having both parents brought low by the temptations of human women.

If he was getting it from both ends, what chance did he have at avoiding the same, pathetic fate?

No, he would be different. He would be stronger. And he vowed to himself right then that he would never be so cavalier, so careless as to compromise his status or his lands, or the future of demon kind for the meager pleasures of mortal flesh.

The sobering revelation settled his festering rage, and his mother noticed the change in smoldering eyes that looked back at her now.

"It matters not," he assured her, in something not quite a growl. "Once I dispatch him, she will hold no claim to our family."

"Is that so?" Her amusement was never good, especially when he was angry and confident. The slight curving of her mouth caused him to worry. "I suppose he has not told you then."

"Told me what?" Dread began to set in as she held his unblinking gaze dramatically.

"Izayoi is with child."

His eyes grew wide in disbelief, and she seemed to enjoy, at least in part, the stunned silence as she watched her words register inside his stubborn, haughty brain. "She will deliver any minute. It is why your father is not here."

"No!" was all he could bark out as he felt the panic start to swell. Her careless calm only incited him further.

"Yes. She will birth your little brother."

"No half breed will ever be This One's brother," he told her fiercely, flashing his fangs in response to the threat. "I shall kill her first."

It was not an emotional response, nor an idle promise. Her son didn't make such declarations unless he meant them, and he was more than capable of seeing them through.

He wasn't so heartless as to kill innocent women indiscriminately, but she knew he'd take no issue if he perceived them as a threat. Even his own blood in their veins would not save them. In fact, that right there was enough to seal their fates.

Once he was lord, there would be nothing she could do to stop him. There was little she could do now, save for appealing to his honor. His goodness, she feared, was no longer within reach.

"How can you be so cold?" she asked him, letting her disappointment shine through. He curled his lip, and then his fingers into a fist as he spoke with disdain.

"I would consider it an act of mercy."

She watched him seethe, and looked on sorrowfully as her only son confirmed her suspicions, solidifying her regret.

"Have we been so neglectful of our duties as parents?" she demanded to know. "We raised you strong and hard, yet somehow bereft of any measure of compassion."

He glowered at her darkly. "You shall see where compassion will get him."

There it was. The answer she didn't need.  
And she only had herself, and her mate to blame.

Sesshoumaru's unrivaled supremacy had always been the clan's top priority.

With him, their legacy would be secure, and along with it, the future of their kind would be in capable clawed hands.

With him, they were going to ensure that power never fell into the lap of any who would use it irresponsibly. Anyone too weak to keep it, or too greedy to keep it just.

Sesshoumaru was brought up carefully, meticulously manufactured to encompass the values and priorities a great leader needed to prevail in their society. Not to mention the personal strength and power to keep all others at bay.

Through him, civilized youkai would know the path to greatness, and ensure proper order was maintained. The inuyoukai would be at the forefront, with him at the tippy top to preside over all their prosperity, and discourage lesser beings from dragging them down into tyranny or chaos.

And they got what they wanted. Her son was all those things and more. But they'd overlooked one small aspect of his upbringing that honestly, they never thought they'd need to address or instill. Looking back now, it was foolish of them. Arrogant.

A soft heart and inclinations toward the emotional could easily lead to perversion and defeat. But they had their place as well, and in trying to make him fearless and incorruptible, it appeared they'd overcorrected, and eliminated his ability to empathize all together.

He couldn't even recognize the necessity for such things, and that was a dangerous blind spot that could prove quite detrimental.

But there was nothing she could do about it now. Particularly not while in his current state. She hoped it wasn't too late to correct her terrible oversight, but for now, she had bigger fish to fry.

She needed to talk him down from completing his final rite of passage. The moment he'd been training for his entire life.

"He has defeated you many times before, Sesshoumaru," she saw fit to remind him.

"He will not win this time."

He spoke with confidence, and she knew it was justified. Finally, she lowered her head in acknowledgment, defeated. "I know."

There was a sadness to her resignation, and he well understood why. But it irked, and offended him that his mother was bereft any pride.

This was what she'd wanted. What she'd been training him for since birth. He'd far exceeded every trial and expectation laid out for him, and this would be no different.

She could mourn her mate. Despite all of their differences, he would mourn the great demon too.

But he was her only child. Her son. And an impressive one at that. Could she not muster a tinge of pride in that sorrowful gaze? Or would he only ever know regret as she looked upon him henceforth?

He didn't need it, of course. He'd been raised to need nothing, or no one besides himself.

She may not admire him – and after this conversation, the feeling was quite mutual – but she would respect him. Mother or not, he would be lord after today, and fear, and respect was all he would require. He would have it from every last one of them, and he would more than earn it.

"Please, Sesshoumaru. Not tonight." She saw his resolve setting in, his resignation, and knew she was running out time. And options. He was not susceptible to appeals of the heart, and she was not one make them. But it was her only hope, and her last resort. "At least let him live to meet his son. A boy should get to lay eyes on his father at least once."

He was not looking particularly permissive, and perhaps she hadn't set herself up well for his acquiescence. But she grabbed his sleeve to relay her desperation. "After all we have given you; grant him this."

He studied her carefully in silence before casting a pointed glance down to where his mother grasped his fine clothing. She could see relying on sympathy for his father was not going to be fruitful.

In his eyes, taking that human had been a betrayal to their society, as well as him personally. Not to mention pupping the girl. All the good her mate had done over his lifetime was snuffed out, leaving behind only a stain on his legacy. A contradiction to everything he'd taught him. A shameful hypocrite, where the greatest demon to ever rule used to stand.

He'd thrown away his son's idealized image of him for a few nights of pleasure, and that likely cut deeper than the scandalous act itself.

"Then if not for him, do it for me, your mother." She tugged on his sleeve a little harder, and demanded his eyes on hers. He'd never seen her plead so shamelessly, and he found the display more than a little unsettling. "Please, Sesshoumaru. Give me one more day with him."

Killing the Inu no Taisho would be his crowning achievement. It was to be the defining moment of his life. The day when all will know of his surpassing his great father. After that, he would never need to prove his worth to anyone again. Not even himself.

Then, the true hard work would begin. There were sure to be a few foolish enough to test his power, and ensure his victory was not a fluke, but they would be handled swiftly and permanently.

Once the word was out, they would all fall in line, and he could finally get these lands in order to his high standard. And he certainly wouldn't waste his influence on persuading human women to his bed.

His people deserved better than that. They deserved a ruler who would focus on securing their unrivaled place on top of the food chain, and eliminating anyone who did not serve to progress his vision as he deemed necessary.

Of course, females weren't off the menu all together. Once things were running smoothly, a _youkai_ female or two could serve as a just reward, and aid in some long-overdue relief after his centuries of hard work. Not that he had any difficulty procuring them before, but there were certain benefits to being Lord of the Western Lands that he was not beyond enjoying.

But that would come after. Business came first, and only after his successes would he allow himself to reap the spoils of all he had earned.

Both their attention snapped over to the sound of the door sliding open. When his father entered the study, his mother shot him a pleading glance.

"Ah, Sesshoumaru!" he greeted merrily, and the younger inu straightened respectfully in reflex. "Welcome home, my son. How were your patrols?"

"Uneventful." He watched the youkai remove his swords and armor by the door. He refused to look at his mother, though he could feel her burning glare as he watched his father put his things aside and make a beeline for the bar.

"Is that so?" he asked, not looking up as he fixed himself a drink of fine demon liquor. "Come; tell me all about it."

Sesshoumaru frowned as a second glass was poured from the same bottle.

He could hold his drink; they both could. But he'd been preparing for this night his whole life, and it would not do to have any impairment claiming responsibility for his inevitable win.

There would be no question that it was his power alone which afforded him victory. He did not need demon alcohol aiding him even one iota.

"Kimi, will you leave us please?" he asked his mate with a kind grin. "We need to talk among us males." With a glass in each hand, he crossed to the pair at last.

His mother flashed him a pointed, pleading glance, but eventually demurred. She left the room, sliding the door closed behind her just as Inu no Taisho handed his son his drink.

"So, I heard you made Lord Haki piss himself."

He took the drink, but had no intention of drinking it, and remained still until his father rounded his desk and took a seat.

With a broad gesture to the chair behind him, he was instructed to do the same. He only hesitated a moment before he complied to the general's order.

"It was not as disgusting as watching a grown demon beg for his life."

A short laugh of pure amusement was the snide youkai's reward, right before Toga took a greedy, apparently long-awaited sip from his glass.

"You had best get used to it, my son," he warned. "Your reputation has grown to precede you. Not a demon alive wishes to stand against you in battle."

There was pride in this youkai's tone, and he found himself slightly mollified by that. Though his father was apparently not as intuitive as his mother. Either way, he would not be deterred.

"Not a demon alive is worthy to," he informed him, earning a grunt of agreement as the older dog took another sip. "Save for one."

Toga looked up to find his only son staring at him with rapt intensity, and understanding dawned on battle-worn features as he lowered his glass. "I see." Though slightly more serious than a moment prior, it was not nearly enough for Sesshoumaru's tastes. Did he not consider him a threat?

"You believe the time has come, then."

"Do you not?" he asked, a bit more defensive than he'd intended.

He smiled again, with far less humor than before, and set his liquor down. "I fear the next time I spar with you, shall be my last."

"Indeed it shall," Sesshoumaru assured him with an approving nod. He set his untouched drink down on the table beside him, and tried not to look wary as his father scrutinized him from his seat.

"Will you kill me tonight?"

Everything inside him screamed _yes._ Tonight was the night, there was no use putting it off any further.

But the alcohol thing still bothered him. It hadn't been much, but still. He needed that undisputed victory so bad he could taste it.

Another reason for his hesitance was his mother. He should not be swayed by her request, but he couldn't find the harm in it. It was reasonable, he supposed, to wish for one last day with one's lover.

"Mother has requested one more day by your side," he finally said. "For her, I will grant it."

"Very generous of you," he replied. The amusement in his eyes only made the mockery chafe that much more. "It may allow me the chance to be with Izayoi when-"

"You would go to her?" Sesshoumaru's composure quickly crumbled, shocking his father with the rare display. "Your mate lobbies for your final hours, and you will go to your human mistress instead? Have you no honor?"

Sesshoumaru's temper saw him overstepping his bounds quite often. Maybe he just had that effect on him. But as the respect and regard eroded over the years, Toga found it aimed at him with dwindling restraint. Perhaps it was the piper's due.

He'd needed to take drastic measures to ensure his heir grew to be as tough as the world required. It was inevitable that he monster he fed would one day be fit to take the mantle, and turn it on him.

"Tomorrow, Izayoi will birth me a son," he explained, chin held high in obvious pride of his accomplishment. Sesshoumaru's features only darkened.

"So your answer is no."

"Your mother wishes for me to meet my son. That is why she makes such a request. She will be satisfied with having me for the night."

Would she? Would his honorable mother truly be pleased to have one final night with her mate of several centuries, only to have him rush off the next morning to spend his final moments with his other family? His _human_ family?

How could she perceive that as anything but a slight?

"Once I am gone, it falls to you to protect him."

The request startled him out of his lament, before twisting his face disdainfully. "I will do no such thing."

"He is your brother."

"No half breed filth shall ever be my brother."

In the menacing staring contest that ensued, Toga spent the occasion trying to discern if it was finality or defiance that ruled his eldest son's response.

He suspected more the latter, but he knew how stubborn the pup could be. And he knew he hadn't the luxury of time to persuade him. He'd have to take a different route.

"Hn. So be it." The general leaned back then, fully resigned to his fate, and lifted the liquor to his lips once more. "He will be born in the evening, so I must handle some business then before we battle."

"What will you do?" Sesshoumaru asked, carefully observing his father's questionable demeanor.

"I need to meet with Totosai one last time. I have some instructions for him upon my death."

"What instructions?" His curiosity was gearing more towards suspicion, but it had more to do with how casual the inu was acting while faced with the very likely prospect of his impending death.

Then again, the tough old bastard had never shied away from his fate.

Toga shook his head, and stood. "You needn't worry yourself," he assured him dismissively, and took his empty glass back over to the bar. "I will also pay one last visit to my old friend Ryuukotsai. He claims to have a matter of great importance to discuss. After, I will go to Izayoi for the birth, and then I am all yours."

Sesshoumaru wanted to get this over with now, and he considered denying his father the shameful rite of welcoming his bastard into the world. If he wanted to do him a favor, he would kill him before he ever had the chance.

But what was the harm? This time tomorrow, he would be Lord of the Western Lands, and everyone – including himself - would know without a shadow of a doubt that he, Sesshoumaru, was the most powerful demon there ever was.

He was reluctant to agree, but he fought against his better judgement, and complied. "Very well."

"Good boy," he praised, returning with his freshly filled glass. But instead of reclaiming the spot at his desk, he sat in the chair right beside his son. "Now, before I go to your mother, have a drink with me." He gestured to the untouched glass at Sesshoumaru's side with his own. "Tell me more about your patrols."

He reached over obediently, and did as his father ordered. For a last request, it could certainly be worse.

As he went into greater detail, Sesshoumaru allowed himself to relax into the soft cushion behind him, while his father did the same.

It was the easiest back and forth the pair had had in a very long time, and therefore, the most enjoyable. Differences had been effortlessly pushed to the wayside as they shared their drink and spoke about as casually as the two ever had. The exchange was friendly.

Toga was a leader to his soldiers, just as Sesshoumaru was to his. Both held power over any being in their lands- even those who called themselves friends. The only difference was Toga was his lord, outranking him by one position. He was also his father, and the only being who could claim to be the youkai's superior, likely ever.

But none of that mattered tonight. They'd been drifting apart swiftly over the past century or so, but in that short time they'd both changed- or maybe just forgotten how alike they were. The similarities were not lost on either of them as they conversed on more than just patrols. By some miracle, Toga had managed to talk his son into having a second drink, and even more amazing was the chuckle he'd coaxed from him not once, but twice, non-concurrently. And it was not born of mockery or morbidity, but honest to kami amusement, and enjoyment.

Tonight, for the first time, they were equals. The only ones who could truly understand, and more alike than either cared to admit.

But Sesshoumaru wouldn't dwell on that. To do so would spoil the evening, and he wouldn't get another chance at it. It would also make what he had to do less enjoyable.

He smirked as he finished his second drink, and listened happily as his father told him a story he'd never heard before, about when he was captain of grandsire's army, and his patrol had gone less than smoothly.

Right then, he decided he'd chosen wisely. He was uncertain at first, but delaying the fight was the right thing to do. He didn't care about his father's bastard getting to lay eyes on him once, but he was pleased to at least give his mother this night with her mate. And, he would admit to only himself, he was pleased to take this moment with him as well.

He'd never gone against his gut instinct before, but perhaps it didn't hurt to bend every once in a while.

He'd waited his whole life for this moment; what was one day more?

It would make no difference.

* * *

Sesshoumaru shook himself, and quickly finished gathering the last of his meager possessions. He scolded himself for daydreaming; the others would be finished with Kagome's roof any minute, and his astute roommate was sure to become inquisitive when he returned.

He hadn't thought about that in so long, and now he remembered why. Even 200 years later, he was still not through paying the heavy cost of that mistake. And it was looking like he probably never would be.

He was a fool to be so cavalier with a matter of such importance. The arrogance. The weakness...

Never again, he'd vowed.

That one-day delay cost him his destiny. The thought that he was only hours away from reaching his objective, only to have it stolen by that filthy dragon was maddening.

How did that beast manage to land such a strike? Only he should have been able to accomplish such a feat.

And now, he would never know. Not with any certainty.

Was he as strong as his father had been? Obviously not now, but before becoming human, had he been?

Almost certainly. Almost. Everyone who knew him, even that treasonous fool Totosai, attested to such.

But it didn't matter. Without the cold hard proof of his father's corpse, it would forever be left up to speculation. It was a claim he could never make. A title he would never fully deserve.

Another notion that kept him up at night was- if his father was at the top of his game, how he could be defeated by that lowly filth? Was he not as strong as he thought he was? Or was it a fluke?

If Inu no Taisho was truly as powerful as he grew up thinking he was, a fluke like that would not have been possible.

Sesshoumaru's fluke was not in relation to his power. No enemy could ever get a substantial hit on him in demon form.

His weakness had been in his judgement. His mind. His ability to make sound, tactical decisions.

Such things were just as important as physical power. Without one, the other was useless.

It had given him hope that while his power was now gone, his mind was still perfectly sound. That was why he'd been so upset when the miko was able to dupe him like she did. It fed his most deep-rooted insecurities that perhaps his tactical cunning had never really been up to par. That his awesome power was carrying him through this existence, but he was just one more life-altering mistake away from losing everything again. Even though he swore he never would.

He'd forgiven her, but he would never forgive himself. He'd let his guard down again, just like he had done with his father. Not trusting his judgment and killing him that night had doomed him to a life of uncertainty- about his place in the world, and his ability to navigate it. Despite his confident airs, every choice he'd ever made after that had him drowning in doubt, made him second guess himself at every turn.

And never did he trust himself less than when it came to humanity.

Because he'd made another vow to himself. To never let humans cloud his judgment, or take precedent in his affairs. To never be his father, basically.

So now, when that very instinct he'd betrayed all those years ago - to his incredible detriment - was urging him to become his father's son, what could he do? Which vow should he ignore?

The last Western Lord had known where his fate was, and raced headlong to meet it.

It looked like history would be repeating itself- making him a liar, and his father's son once again.

He'd very much prefer to follow his footsteps in another direction, if he had to choose. But unfortunately, that option had been taken from him as well.

The word was finally out, which meant the wolves, cats and elementals would soon be at his door. And if he wasn't there to greet them, they would come knocking until they found him.

This pack was strong for humans, he'd freely admit. Even against powerful youkai foes, they were a formidable force. But they couldn't protect him forever. As a man with – at the very least - pride, he refused to even let them try.

They'd done more than enough for him, and he refused to bring any more trouble these poor people's way.

His father had known that his time was running short, and chose to use what little he had left protecting his lover and son. Sesshoumaru had called him a fool at the time, but his actions had been... noble.

Well, his time had now been cut short as well. And since he hadn't the strength or power to protect them with his body, he would protect Kagome and Rin with his cunning.

It was all he had left, and if he made a tactical error this time, it could be their blood on his clawless human hands.

He had to meet his foes - and his fate - at the Western Fortress. Hopefully, he'd get a few good strikes in before he was vanquished, and with Toran's aid, his soldiers could still be standing when it was over.

But Kagome and Rin would _not_ be targeted, and taken as some trophy to hang on their wall. Or worse.

At least this way, he would still get to die the way he was supposed to. A warrior's life deserved a warrior's death, and if he couldn't keep his lands, he would die protecting them. That was the oath he had taken all those years ago, after all. At least that was one promise he would keep.

Jaken and Ah-Un had their orders, and were ready to go on his word. All that remained was for him to depart. He still hadn't decided on the best way to do this.

The truth, he already decided, was out. After a lifetime of exemplary honesty, he'd earned one good fabrication to keep them safe and ensure they did not follow. But what should he tell them?

How was he supposed to say goodbye, without saying goodbye?

He considered just leaving without farewell. As much as he hated sneaking about, it would be the path of least resistance and pain.

But it left the chance that they might go looking for him, so that was out too. They could not follow.

He could say he had some business to conduct. A lead to follow, or something. But he knew this pack; they would not let him go alone in his current condition. They would almost certainly assign an escort, whether he agreed to it or not.

How could he get them to stay behind?

One method had occurred to him, but it was far from ideal.

He couldn't tell them he was going off to war alone. But he could simply tell them he was opting out of this little arrangement. Forever.

He was never supposed to stay. They found Rin, and that was what he needed from them. He could tell them he'd come to a decision, and chose to part ways at this point.

The others might have some concerns, but even his brother would likely not put up too much of a fight. Even if they were on better terms, they had never been close.

No, the miko was the only one he owed any explanation to. And Rin, but he'd already told her she'd have to stay in a human village eventually, so it should not be entirely unexpected. He had not wavered in that, despite her preferences, and she seemed happy enough here. He would simply put his foot down.

But Kagome... she would be hurt.

She was still trying to fix him, but they no longer had the luxury of whittling away the days on brainstorming and trial and error. Their time was up. Unfortunately.

If he told her he was leaving, she would definitely demand to know why. She'd told him many times that no matter where he went, she would chase after. So long as he was human, she was with him. The one place she wouldn't follow was the Western Lands, _when_ he became demon again.

So close. He was going to the West, just not the way he'd hoped to. But if he found a way to change back...

That was it.

He had to tell Kagome that they found a remedy in the Western Lands. It was waiting for him, and all he needed to do was simply get there and take it.

She insisted that, for his safety, she could not be there with his demon self; so she would just have to stay behind until it was safe enough to visit. Unfortunately, the reunion would never come.

It was the best chance he had, and at least this way, he got to say goodbye.

Belongings in hand, he decided to hit the old woman's hut first. It was the furthest away, and Rin would be the easiest to inform.

* * *

The sound of preteen sorrow followed him down the road as he embarked on his next destination.

That was... not as simple as he'd hoped.

He knew she would not be pleased, but Rin was a child. For that reason, he'd foolishly assumed he would have more success in getting her to accept his decision. He'd been wrong.

Now, he was desperately hoping he'd gotten the hardest goodbye out of the way, but as he closed in on his brother's new hut, he sincerely doubted it.

Luckily, everyone else had been working on the miko's damaged roof, save for the Kaede - who was in town at the moment, so they were not there to hear the muffled screeching and tears of the girl who insisted on following him forever.

She'd yelled and screamed, begged and cried. But he had been firm, and she knew he would not budge.

She was fine with the idea of him going off to get his cure – at least she'd bought that. But when he refused to answer when asked if he would return, she knew she was finally being abandoned, as he'd always promised to do.

Shaking off that traumatizing experience, he gathered himself a moment outside of his brother's hut and waited until a sweet feminine voice beckoned him to enter. Steeling himself, he did.

With the others working noisily on her roof, Kagome had taken up in her friends' home for the afternoon.

He thought he'd prepared himself enough, but when he peeled the door back and laid eyes on the young woman, it felt as if the wind had been knocked from his chest.

The old man who once owned this hut had much nicer accommodations that his packmates, so Inuyasha and Sango had made out pretty well. Instead of a bedroll on the floor, he had a nice, raised futon on a fairly high platform, and a good deal larger than the meager mats the rest of them slept on.

Atop it, stretched out on her stomach, the miko had made herself at home. Legs kicked up behind her bounced back and forth as she poured over the notebook that never seemed to leave her possession. The writing utensil she used rested just past her lips, being terribly abused by blunt teeth as she debated something in her mind.

He knew what he had to do, but it all seemed so real now. It was foolish. He knew it would be difficult, but he honestly thought he'd built the strength he needed to see this through.

What he hadn't expected was to be paralyzed from his tongue to his toes at the mere sight of her. Knowing what he had to do; knowing how she would take it.

But the worst, he found, was knowing it would be the last time. He would never look upon this woman again, and the gravity of that sent his system into involuntary panic.

When he didn't move, she finally looked up from her pages and flashed him a radiant smile before putting it aside and setting her feet on the floor.

She wasted no time rushing to him, and before he knew it, her arms were sliding around his middle in a gentle embrace. She pressed her cheek to him, and his motor skills slowly returned. Encased in his hold; he held onto her warmth tightly, letting his eyes drift shut as he tried to still his heartbeat by focusing on hers.

She pulled back, but didn't let go. When he didn't either, she smiled. Then, she was drifting forward, raising up on her toes as she tilted her chin, and he helped to close the distance until his lips were on hers.

He reveled in the feeling, closing his eyes and losing himself in the moment as he imprinted each sensation into his very soul. Maybe, if he was lucky, he could find her in the next life. But until then, this would have to tide him over.

She tried to pull away for air, but he was not ready to relinquish her just yet. She made a surprised noise through her nostrils when he applied himself more forcefully that morphed into something more appreciative. He absorbed the pleasured sound she made when he deepened the kiss, and used his stronger frame to press her to him even more firmly.

She'd not expected such a passionate display, but she certainly wasn't complaining. He finally let her go so they could at last draw several ragged, heavy breaths. Her hands had fisted needfully into his clothing and still gripped him tightly as she looked into his eyes. There was something different about him, something she couldn't recognize, but she didn't dwell on it. Instead, she smiled shyly, a pretty blush adorning her features as she released his silk to rub her hands along his sides.

Mimicking her, he did the same across her back.

She absentmindedly realized he was wearing his classic outfit, but thought nothing of it. "Happy to see me?" she asked playfully.

He still had that strange, intense look on his face as he slowly nodded in response. "Yes." 

His voice sounded different too. Soft, in a way she wasn't used to. But she only smiled wider at him. "Good. I'm happy to see you too. I actually have something I need to talk to you about." She maneuvered her hands to grab his, and he let himself be led to the futon.

Instead of sitting down, however, she plucked her notebook off the sheets, and he instantly sobered. He'd come to loathe that book. So much wasted time and energy, and all on his account. It reminded him why he was doing this, and it gave his resolve a good strengthening.

"I've given it a lot of thought, and I think I might have an idea for how to finally change you back."

He tried not to look disapproving as she fluttered through the pages, until he realized she was nervous. When her pretty blush graduated to a deeper shade of red, his curiosity was formally piqued and his slight frown instantly fell away.

She forced herself to meet his eyes. "You've learned a lot about what it means to be human. You've experienced fear, despair, compassion..."

He waited patiently through the preamble she'd obviously practiced in her head, but silently wished she'd just get to the point. They weren't going to fix him, and he wanted to enjoy these final moments before he had to break the news. Perhaps he should have prepared something to tell her. He still didn't know exactly what he was going to say.

"But you've been missing out on perhaps the most important aspect of humanity... love."

'This again?' he thought, and actually looked at her with pity. 'How many times must I tell her? Will she never understand?' This woman was far too stubborn for her own good.

"I do not know of love, Kagome."

The gentle reminder did not get the reaction he'd expected. She gathered his hand in hers once more, and smiled at him warmly. "Exactly. Its time you learned."

He appeared to be confused as she lifted his knuckles to her lips; her soft flesh brushing against his skin so tenderly caused something in his chest to tear.

"When you changed back into a demon, each time it was after you and I were having some form of intimate contact."

That fact certainly hadn't escaped him, but he'd only go as far as to attribute it to his mounting displeasure with the kami, their timing, and their sense of humor.

"Maybe laying with a human is the key."

His internal griping session was cut short at the boldness of her utterance. He was surprised she would deduce such a thing, let alone suggest it.

She seemed to expect his wide-eyed response, but despite the darkening of her skin, she bravely held his gaze. "We should have sex."

It wasn't as outrageous a suggestion as it would have been weeks ago. Or even days ago, when they were in the midst of working out their differences.

They'd all but slept together by now anyway, and very nearly had on at least one occasion. Even last night in her sleeping bag, if he'd been able, it could have very well come to pass.

But it was not quite a forgone conclusion - though he suspected it was likely anticipated, even expected, that they would proceed. She'd even expressed her desire of him to take her last night, and he hadn't been opposed.

But as much as he wanted to, it could no longer be. He was leaving. Right after this conversation, as a matter of fact. And even if she still desired a quick romp after what he was about to tell her, he couldn't do that to her.

Her biggest fear was to be bed, and subsequently deserted after the fact. Not to mention, his leaving was going to be hard enough on her, he presumed. Sex would only strengthen her attachment, and lengthen the mourning process once he was gone. Her pain would be so much worse, and surely not worth the fleeting pleasure given in return.

Not that it wouldn't be earth-shattering. But even more reason to decline. He'd damaged the poor girl enough. No need to ruin all future experiences for her with the unattainable bar he'd set.

"Quite an ego," he asserted haughtily, "to assume that after nearly a millennium, one night with you will finally show me the light." Reverting to his old bastard self took more effort than he'd expected, and felt more distasteful than he'd anticipated.

When had it started taking work to slip into his old persona? When had it become so out of character? It didn't even feel like him anymore.

He did not wish for her last memory of him to be unpleasant, but better that, he decided, than strengthening her attachment. If his affection would make this harder, then the opposite was the way to go.

But it didn't have the effect he was going for. Her smile never faltered. "I'm not saying you will fall in love with me," she conceded, and the tearing in his chest persisted. "But maybe you will feel my love for you. That's when you'll know."

She was so earnest, so humble. So... fucking sweet. Wide open and laid bare; she was finally giving him what he'd been wanting all along, and reading her heart to him like scroll.

Why did it have to be now? He could only stare on dumbfounded, cursing his luck and the kami and their timing yet again. She was being so kind to him, and raw, so he knew it was real. Finally free of pretenses, she would keep her word to him until the end. There was nothing left to hide.

And after he crushed it, he wondered if she would ever leave herself so open for anyone again.

"When I made that stupid wish, I wanted you to know what it was like to be human."

His guilt was intense at the genuine regret she displayed. He knew her motives; she didn't need to explain.

And he'd forgiven her. Would she accept that? Or would she torture herself it for years to come?

She would blame herself for his death, and that alone nearly had him rethinking his whole strategy. But he had to stay firm. The only other option was unacceptable, and must be avoided at all costs.

She continued to stroke the hand she kept clasped between hers, and he found himself stroking back. "Sex is an important aspect of humanity. And even if you don't love me..." again, the notion did strange things to him, urging him for justice- for action and word. But all he could do was stare sadly and listen. "...it could be enough to enlighten you to the human experience."

He listened to her rationalize her thinking to him, as if making some point-by-point argument that could stand up to scientific scrutiny, and fought the urge to smirk.

Did she really expect to need to work so hard at convincing him? She would already be naked beneath him if only Myoga hadn't shown up.

That damn bug. He could blame this all on him.

"Most humans seem able to be intimate without being in love- the two are so closely intertwined that they are often mistaken for one another." She shrugged, "Either way, I'm willing to try it. After what I did to you, it is the least I could do."

He looked down into her hopeful features, and sighed. Using his free hand, he brushed a few hairs off her cheek before cupping it tenderly in his palm. "Miko, you are obligated to do no such thing."

Undeterred, she sternly shook her head, and let his hand fall between them. "I _am_ obligated," she said, and he produced a frown. Uncertain, but determined, she placed her hand on his chest and stroked lovingly over cool silk. "But even if I wasn't, I still want to do it. This has nothing to do with changing you back."

They looked at each other then, both eyes filled with plea- hers that he accept her proposal, accept her, and his that she stop. Turn around, forget him, and not waste another moment or tear on the likes of him.

But as her hand became more insistent, more endeavoring, he realized she would not. It took everything he had to pull away from the kiss she attempted, and he grabbed her fingers and removed them. "We cannot," he breathed regretfully, suspending her hand between them.

She was understandably confused. "Why not?"

He mustered everything hard and firm and made of stone within him, and for the first time ever, found himself incredibly lacking. He'd gotten too close to the sun, and as a result, she'd reduced his mighty glacier to a few pathetic chunks of melting ice.

Still, he waded through the puddles and gathered what he could. "Because I am leaving this village." At least his tone was steel. There was finality in it, but of course, it didn't slow her down.

She furrowed her brow even more. "When?"

"Right now."

"Why?" she demanded worriedly. "What are you talking about?"

He saw her concern leaking through as curiosity gave way to panic. "They found the remedy," he assured her. "I will become youkai again."

He had hoped for a little excitement on her end. He knew she would be sad, but his excuse gave an opportunity for optimism. But he would be satisfied to simply leave her in a better state than he'd left Rin. As much better as possible.

But her deep confusion was written all over fair features.

"Myoga found me in the stream," he informed her, and she pulled her hand from his. He allowed her to step back, though her eyes remained trained on his face. "Toran found a cure, and it is waiting for me in the Western Lands."

He saw the telltale signs of anger beginning to form, as he'd fully anticipated. She would fight him on this, he just hoped not too hard. All he had to do was explain it to her rationally. "I simply need to return, and then I can-"

"What are you doing?" she demanded flatly, hot blue flames boring into his stony features.

He lifted a brow condemningly. "I am telling you, woman. There-"

"You're lying," she accused irritably, not a hint of uncertainty in her claim. "Why are you lying?"

"I..." Honestly, her confident assessment took him by surprise, and left him floundering shamelessly. He had planned for a plethora of responses, but being called out right off the bat wasn't one of them. He didn't know how to react, so he simply doubled down. "I am not lying."

"Yes you are," she countered angrily. "I can read the signs." She lifted a finger to rudely point in his face. He instantly shied away from it. "Dilated pupils, avoiding eye contact... Flushed skin, _stuttering_."

"I did not stutter," he refuted, turning his gaze back to her to defend himself. "I just had to-"

"What are you lying about? Why do you need to go to the Western Lands?" Her anger fell away as she became more concerned with his behavior. She inched closer, looming for scrutiny, and though demanding, her tone softened significantly. "Did something happen?"

He held her gaze a long moment, and willed his form to command him at every turn. No exceptions. "No."

It amazed him how quickly and fiercely her rage could return to her at the drop of a hat, but no matter how much it burned, he refused to turn away from the fire blazing in her eyes.

But when she grabbed his soft cock outside of his hakama and squeezed, he briefly lost the staring contest. Startled and unprepared, he uttered, "What are you-"

"Just making sure I wasn't misreading your arousal," she quipped, and as fun as that evening by the fire had been, he wished he never taught her how to discern such things. Of course, he never expected he'd be lying to her. "Though it was pretty obvious you weren't since you just turned down my proposal for sex. So I know you're lying. Please, drop the act."

He scowled, looking away defiantly, part in frustration, part in guilt. There was no point in continuing this charade, but he still refused to tell her why he was going. He had to quickly think of something that would ensure she would not follow after him.

"I see why you were so mad at me," she said, after realizing she would get no more answers. "Getting lied to shamelessly and _poorly_ really fucking hurts."

"You're right," he finally admitted. "I lied. There is no cure."

With that out of the way, she let her anger fall away once more so she could focus on worrying about him. Worst case scenarios reeled through her mind, but nothing made sense to her.

The fact that he would keep it from her did not bode well. She placed a hand on his arm gently as she watched him struggle unhappily with himself. "What's in the Western Lands that you need to get to?" But she would get no response once again. She came to a decision.

Despite recent lying, she still absolutely trusted him.

That was all he'd ever asked from her. That and her honesty. So, she would finally give it. "It's okay. If you have to go, I understand."

His tormented gaze at last lifted to hers, and where he expected distrust and betrayal, he only found acceptance, and understanding. 

"Truly?" That was it? No questions asked? This was wonderf-

"Yeah, we'll go together."

His hopeful features darkened, and his scowl returned. "No."

"I got your back," she assured him, as if he hadn't spoken. "forever, you know that."

"No," he repeated, shaking his head firmly. "You cannot come with me. None of you can."

She was back to confusion as he removed her hand from his arm and returned it to her. She held it, as if scolded. "Why not?"

He was a lousy liar, apparently, and he did not relish it. All he could do was be honest with her. He didn't have any other recourse.

He held her stunning eyes with his so she could read him clearly. He made sure to take the time to etch the compelling sight into his brain. "Because I do not want you to." He couldn't lie to her, but she couldn't know everything either. He was doing it to keep her safe.

Still, marring those flawless eyes with hurt took a chunk out of his soul.

"I needed you to help find Rin, and you did. And I am very grateful for your aid. But now that we have succeeded, I must return to my home."

"But... it will be too dangerous," she reminded him meekly.

"I am willing to risk it." 

He could see her falling into discontent, and released a heavy sigh. He gathered her hands back into his, and sat on the bed, leading her to follow.

"Listen to me, Kagome. You were there for me when I needed you most, and I will always be thankful to you. Now Rin is safe, and the old priestess has agreed to watch over her. My duty is done."

He had to discourage her from following, but he didn't need to stab her in the heart on his way out the door. As long as he was being honest, he saw no harm in opening up the most guarded place inside him, and letting her see a least a portion of the things he kept locked there.

This was his last chance. After today, these truths will be all that was left of him.

"You took me into your ranks, and showed me how to be human. And against all odds, I rather enjoyed myself with you." He smirked, but she was too distraught to join him, so he put it away. "I will never forget, or regret a second of our time together. I mean that."

He took a long pause, wanting it to sink in, but also, he was preparing himself. This was the hard part.

He took a deep breath, as inconspicuously as he could. "But you were not showing me how to be human. You were helping me disguise myself so I could survive. The fact is, even though I look this way, I am not human. I never was. And I never will be."

His eyes scoured hers as if he was trying to look all the way to the end. But one could easily get lost doing that. He knew from experience.

He stroked her hands with his, as if trying to soothe from the outside in. "And I do not want to do this anymore."

It was the truth. She could see it so plainly. She prayed for a sign of deception- she looked for one feverishly. But there was nothing ungenuine about it, just like usual.

She felt her eyes begin to sting.

"Even if we spend every day looking for the way to make me youkai, I will still be pretending to be human until we get it right. Let us be honest; we most likely will not."

She wanted to argue. She knew with her whole being that she could fix him. She could feel it. She vowed to make it true.

But a logical part of her that she refused to acknowledge told her he was right.

She was just an idealistic school girl. That was a truth that never failed to cause her anguish. If she wanted to subject herself to a life of pain and disappointment, that was her prerogative. But it was wrong of her to drag him through it with her, if it wasn't what he wanted.

But how she wanted him to want it too.

"It is my life, Kagome," he reminded her firmly. "For better or worse, and unrecognizable as it may be, it is still mine. And it is the only one I have. I do not want to spend it with you like this."

She felt the weight of her heart drop down into her stomach as she still read no deceit in his handsome features. She couldn't bear to even look at him, and found herself desperate for his lies once again.

"I am already youkai." She'd averted her gaze completely, so he pulled her hands toward him until they were placed on his chest, over his heart. "In here. And I always was. So I do not need to have my power back, and I want you to stop trying."

She felt his heart beating beneath her palm. It felt no different than a human's. No faster, or stronger, or bigger. Not different in any way. No different than hers.

But it was. That was exactly what he was telling her, and she had no choice but to believe him.

"I do not want to do this anymore," he repeated. "I made an attempt, for as long as I could, but I am done."

She still wasn't looking, so he released her hands and used one to turn her chin his way. "I tire of this. I just want to go home, and face what awaits me head on- with honor. I will never be happy running, or hiding, or cowering. A life of that is a fate worse than death for one such as me."

When she winced as if in pain, it forced one of the well of tears behind her lids to roll down her cheek. He wiped it away, and let his palm remain when she leaned into his touch needfully.

He smiled weakly, scooting just a little closer to her and using his free hand to tuck her falling hair behind her ear. "I appreciate your dedication," he assured her. "I truly do. Your heart is in the right place, I know."

When more tears began to fall, he curled his fingers in her hair, and against her skin, as if he was trying to find purchase. The sight of her red-rimmed despair nearly ignited his own.

He felt a foreign sting in the corner of his eyes, and it took all he had left to will it away.

"And I forgive you," he rasped out, forcing a smile to aid in his restraint. "I really do. I do not wish for you to feel guilt over what happened. You gave far more than you took, and you know I am being truthful."

Her sniffling signified her acceptance- of his fate, of hers. And he was both pleased and not that she would not fight him on it. But it was a great relief.

He raked his fingers through her hair a few times, combing them out compulsively to distract them both. And then he stopped, and framed her cheeks in his palms. "But it is my life we are discussing. And it is my decision. You do not have to like it, but it must be respected." His hard tone was practiced and forced. But executed perfectly, and ensured his success. "I do not wish to live this way any longer, and I cannot bear to stay in this village another moment."

His undeniable resentment cut her to the bone. That couldn't be how he felt.

Was the thought of staying with them really so distasteful? Staying with her?

Was the prospect of a human life together really so unbearable that he'd rather run headlong into certain death? That couldn't be what he truly wanted.

She thought he cared, but was he just _enduring_ her all this time? Holding his nose until Rin was safe enough for him to finally break ties?

"I am going back alone," he told her firmly, dispassion of old reclaiming its reign inside his tone. "I am going to find those loyal to me, and resume my life as it was always meant to be- with my own kind."

He stood; the cold finality in the motion sent a chill through her. Tears pricked painfully in her ducts as he strode with purpose toward the door, fully prepared to leave her forever.

"You'll be killed."

He wouldn't refute it. Couldn't, with any conviction.

"And I refuse to believe you actually find that preferable to remaining human. To being with me."

He heard her rise behind him, and knew he should just go before she managed to convince him otherwise. But her sweet voice stopped him as he reached to grab the door. His legs refused to move as he heard her close the distance, and then her gentle touch was upon him.

"I need you to say it." It was an order. "There's no way I'm letting you expose yourself to a fortress full of bigoted youkai unless you can look me in the eye, and tell me after all we have been through that you would rather die than let me try to help you."

She felt the tension beneath her fingers, and took the absence of any reaction as the moment of hesitation that it was. He gave her a sliver of an opening and she pounced. "Why don't you just stay the night with me?"

His hand was on the flap, poised to peel back the door while the warmth of her palm on his back kept him firmly anchored in place. "If I'm right and this works, your troubles are over and you get to be you again. If it doesn't, you can go back West tomorrow knowing that you at least tried."

Her palm clutched, and he was fairly certain that if she was able, she would tether him where he stood.

"It's just one more day. What have you got to lose?"

His back remained to her as he stood stock still. He could feel her hope rising as he appeared to consider it. He hated himself for that.

But how could he not at least consider it? They may have to part, but they could share one night together before they did- something to hold dear that they both could cherish.

A climactic ending to their star-crossed, whirlwind, passionate yet substantive little acquaintance. Something sweet to balance out the tragedy of its inevitable conclusion.

He'd love nothing more.

But while he'd be going out with a bang, it would be a long, slow death by a thousand papercuts for the dear miko. A torture only made worse by giving her a glimpse of the future that could never be, before ripping it cruelly away and convincing her to take the blame.

Whether he stayed the night or not, the ending was the same. He would go West in whichever body the fates deigned him, and she would not.

But there was no changing him back. And while delaying the inevitable would have no bearing on his own fate, it could prove disastrous for her.

What can be lost in one day? He knew better than anyone.

 _Everything_.

What difference could it make?

 _All_ the difference.

One-day's delay cost him his whole world once. He would not make that mistake again.

He tossed a dispassionate look over his shoulder, and held her gaze firmly. "I would rather die."

He blocked out her devastated reaction and forced it from his mind before turning back around.

She had not expected the blow, and he would use the time it took her to recover to finish his escape clean. Were it not for her pained expression flashing briefly before his eyes again, he would have made it.

"Than live as a human?" she asked, obviously leveled by his response, and the honesty in it. "Or spend the night with me?" Hurt put a tremble to her tone, but he had to nip this in the bud. He had tried to handle her gently, but he'd failed to discourage her properly.

He closed his fist tightly around the fabric, and closed his eyes even tighter. "Yes."

The ensuing silence was all the response he needed, and she finally allowed him to leave.

She would hate him for that. That was best.

He wished she didn't have to, but if it kept her away from the Western Lands, and eased the pain of his passing just a bit, he would consider it a victory.

At least he'd have one.

* * *

He found the others putting the final touches on Kagome's roof, and bid his remaining farewells. A short explanation was all they were granted, and a few stiff, awkward words of thanks. The news of his abrupt departure took them all by surprise, but they had little time for recourse as he swiftly retreated.

Now that they were informed, he felt the need for a hasty exit. The longer he waited, the more opportunity there would be for interference. He needed to outrun any doubts or second guessing, and not just from the others.

Jaken finished tightening the straps on Ah-Un's saddle while Sesshoumaru secured the last of his possessions. He didn't have much to his name when he'd arrived, and it looked like that hadn't changed.

Almost two months, and nothing to show for it. But appearances, he was well aware, could be deceiving.

A few curt orders were muttered distractedly and followed without question as they prepared the dragon for flight. As the imp tested each buckle for safety and security, Sesshoumaru moved around front to give his beast their instructions.

He didn't hear Inuyasha approaching him from behind. "So you're really going, huh?"

A quick glance over his shoulder told the ex-youkai his brother had come alone. Relieved in that, he turned back to the dragon and began to assist Jaken with his duty, trying to rush the process along.

"It is time." 

After receiving a nod, the imp hopped up and took his place at the front with the reins.

Sesshoumaru turned to find his brother's disapproving glare upon him, arm's crossed. Turning to face him fully, he straightened. He'd said his goodbye's, but if he'd left the hanyou wanting, he would graciously offer more to his accommodating host. "I thank you for all you have-"

"Save it," he interrupted. "I don't want your thanks."

Shrugging, Sesshoumaru kept his face passive as he turned back to his steed.

"You never used to be much for words, but you didn't need 'em," he continued, now speaking to his back. "Your actions said it all. Now, you're all over the fucking map, but I know good and goddamn well you ain't grateful."

He got no response, or even sign that he'd been heard. When Sesshoumaru moved to approach his beast from the side, Inuyasha maneuvered around him, blocking his path. "Cuz you ain't acting like it. You're acting like we did something wrong, and you can't wait to get the hell away from us."

He assessed the hot tempered inu with his usual bored façade. The young male was angry, but that was hardly atypical. "It has nothing to do with you," he assured him, and started to walk around. "I do not belong here."

His brother made no moves to stop him, physically. "Right. You belong in Warrior King Heaven, ne?"

Sesshoumaru froze, a light panic gaining momentum as he slowly turned around.

"I heard you talking to Myoga," Inuyasha confirmed. "You're a terrible bullshitter. It takes practice, I guess."

Sesshoumaru's glare turned to ice. The threat it held was unmistakable as he loomed dangerously close. "Do not think of telling Kagome," he warned. "If anything happens to her-"

"Relax, I won't tell her. Cuz you're right; she will demand to come."

The news relaxed him slightly, and he let his muscles uncoil. He put away his fearsome glower, but regarded his brother suspiciously. "And you?" he wondered.

Inuyasha shrugged. "Hey, you don't want me there? Why should I risk my neck?"

Sesshomaru nodded his approval, and found a measure of relief in that as well.

"Can't believe you think breaking her heart is a better option though."

His disapproval was condemning, and had him feeling a bit defensive. "Compared to her death, I think it is quite a better option."

"Do you?" he asked. "Cuz it looks like you made a different choice for yourself."

Sesshoumaru refused to dignify that by responding, or even dissecting that statement. Instead, he turned around and continued his path to Ah-Un's side.

"You know that's what you're doing, don't you? It's so obvious and sickening; I can barely look at you."

Sesshoumaru couldn't see his brother's face as he followed behind him, but he could easily picture the look of disgust that matched his tone.

"You're running. You're running scared."

He contained his scoff. He had no trepidations for what awaited him in the West. In fact, he was eager for it. "I do not fear death," he assured him, and put his hand on the saddle.

"Nope," Inuyasha agreed. "Just life. Or love. Maybe both."

That asinine statement deserved mockery, but he found himself unable to respond. Perhaps it was the absurdity that caused his body to still.

"You're so worried you might actually be happy like this. You're so scared that if you stay here and stay human, and stay with Kagome that you might finally be at peace, and your terrified."

"Why would that terrify me?" he demanded, turning back to glare.

His brother more than matched it. "Because you would be wrong," he answered confidently. "You would have to admit you are the world's biggest hypocrite, and your whole life has been a lie. You would know you had been lying to yourself this whole time, and you're such a pansy that you would rather die than own up to the fact that you are in love with a human, and you want to lay down your sword and make cute little human babies."

His sing-songy taunting did not amuse him, and he showed him his back once more. "You heard the flea. You know why I must leave."

The grave response only earned him a 'feh' as Inuyasha shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe how deluded you are. Maybe you're willing to buy that load of shit, but I sure ain't."

Sesshoumaru readied himself to board, but a sturdy hand on his shoulder kept him anchored down. His brother's superior hanyou strength irked him to no end.

"All you had to do was name a successor." Brows knit together tightly relayed his frustration well. "Your allies can fight, but you have to let them try. You have to-" he paused, and Sesshoumaru waited impatiently as he watched realization dawn. "Oh, shit. That's it! It's even worse than I thought!"

He didn't know what the hanyou was talking about, but his firm grip on his shoulder ensured he'd be staying to learn.

"You can't concede." He huffed dismissively as he attempted to turn, but a sharp pull forced him to remain in place. "That's it- you can't surrender. All you need to do is pass the torch, but you can't stand to live in a world where anybody but you is in charge."

Sesshoumaru scowled, not pleased with his brother assessment, but not entirely sure how to refute it.

"You have to have everything in the world, and now that you can't, you just want to give up playing entirely. I can't believe what a jackass you are."

The boy was way off base. It wasn't as cut and dried as all that.

Yes, surrendering was never allowed. Not for him. It wasn't just what he'd been taught from birth, but one of the cornerstones of his belief system. It was like going against his religion, if he had one.

And yes, by power and rite, the world and everything in it belonged to him. He'd earned it, and it was what he was owed. That he no longer had it was an injustice, and a corruption of the natural order.

But just because the game was rigged, it was not why he was leaving the table. Though it would be a valid enough reason.

Perhaps it did make it easier, however.

"Most people don't get to own the world, okay? We get a little slice of happiness if we're lucky, and we're glad to have it." Somewhat defensively, he added, "It ain't so bad, you know."

The look he received told him his brother didn't agree. He aggressively released his shoulder, and Sesshoumaru immediately moved to smooth the silk back out.

"Isn't this what you wanted?" he asked, exasperation betrayed his mounting frustration with his infuriating kin. "You hate all the duty and obligations and expectations. Well, now you're off the hook! You're finally free. No one needs anything from you like this, so you can do whatever you want."

"You find that existence fulfilling, do you?" Sesshoumaru asked curtly. "Being of no use? Nothing to no one, aside from perhaps a burden?"

The brothers shared fleeting frown.

"You're only as useless as you make yourself," he assured him, slightly less excitable. "I gotta say, right now you're doing a pretty good job at being useless."

His brother's admonishment was more effective than he cared to admit. It was rare for one to find the courage to dress him down so sharply. Even rarer for the attacks to land. But his brother's assessment bothered him. He knew just where to poke, and that caused him just as much discomfort as the jabs themself.

"You had people that needed you, only to toss them aside when shit got too real. Now, all you're good for is making girls cry."

He hadn't heard the conversation, but Rin's hissy fit was loud enough to pick up over the racket from the roof construction. When he scented Kagome's tears later, he had a feeling he was the next stop on his brother's path of destruction.

"My brother - the guy you bear almost no resemblance to - had almost everything. Strength, power, looks," he rattled off. "Money, servants, soldiers. Smarts and skills and respect. But there was one thing he never had," he told him confidently. "One thing he never figured out how to get his hands on. And I ain't talking about my sword."

Inuyasha's humorless smirk was fleeting, and he fixed his earnest features on Sesshoumaru's properly chastised visage. "Nobody loved him," he told him with absolute certainty. "And you know why? Cuz he didn't love nobody." Inuyasha shrugged once. "Couldn't. Didn't know how. And if he never turned into you, he never would have known what he was missing."

Sesshoumaru didn't falter when his brother's hand was on his shoulder again. All it took was a light tug to make him release the saddle, and pull him closer.

"Now, love is all you got to your name. But it's so much better than all that other stuff combined." He raised his free arm, and gestured off behind him without ever breaking his gaze. "Those girls love the hell out of you. And going off and sacrificing yourself _supposedly_ for them is going to kill them, no matter how much of an ass you are before you leave."

There was no change in the famous stoic mask he'd worn throughout this exchange, but Inuyasha took his continued silence as a sign he was getting through. He wanted to be convinced, or he would have already been gone. He just had to make him understand.

"Think about it this way: If Kagome told you off - or Rin - and split, and you found out later she died, how would you feel? Would you get over it? Or would you want to die too?"

Something passed over Sesshoumaru's eyes that caused the hanyou's heart rate to pick up. Hopeful, he clenched firm muscle tightly in his claws. "That's what love is. You'd rather give your life than live without them."

Understanding dawned in the second the statement was uttered, but Inuyasha had not been the intended target for enlightenment.

He thought his brother was blind to his feelings, or at least attempting to deny their existence. But he did know. _That_ was why he was leaving. The revelation almost left him speechless. Almost.

"But that's so stupid!" he chided artlessly. "You don't have to leave them. Just stay here, and you can be with them forever."

"Not forever," he corrected, annoyed he had to remind the fool. "I am human."

"So are they."

"Exactly." He took his brother's newest moment of realization to remove his hand, and smooth the disruption it had caused his clothing once again. "I do fear death," he assured him plainly. "Just not mine."

His gaze drifted anxiously over Inuyasha's shoulder, and lingered as he spoke. "I endanger them by being here. If anything happened to them..."

He didn't need to say it. The hanyou knew all too well the crippling fear that came along with loving humans. It was just the cost of doing business.

He also knew that when his demon blood left him on every new moon, the helplessness and impotence made it almost unbearable.

Sesshoumaru felt like that all the time. It must be agonizing.

But he wasn't alone. He was there to help him. "We just gotta make sure that don't happen."

The veiled vow was not lost upon the elder brother, but he looked less than appeased. "There is no way to be certain."

"You're right," he conceded. "There ain't. But we gotta do our best. That's called living."

"Their death is not worth the risk."

"But their lives are," he countered. " _Your_ lives, together. That's the prize. But you gotta play to win, and you know what?" He leaned in closer. "Someday, they're gonna die whether you were here to enjoy them or not."

Sesshoumaru scowled at the patronizing statement, but only earned himself a rough push.

"So quit being a fucking scared baby and man the fuck up."

The hanyou's features settled into something very serious and grave, and he looked his older brother right in troubled visage. "If you leave, that would be the most selfish thing you've ever done in both your lives. And I promise; it will make everyone's life worse than if you just stayed. If you were really noble, you would stay and suffer the indignity of humanity to make all of ours a little better."

Inuyasha waited a long moment for his brother to respond. When it was clear he wasn't going to, he sighed, and lifted his lip to expose one dangerous fang. Subconsciously, Sesshoumaru ran his tongue over his blunt canine.

"You're just lucky my half-brother ain't here," he finally declared through his sneer. "Cowards like you make him sick." He gave him a good, long look up and down, and shook his head in disappointment. "I thought you were better than him in every way," he admitted. "I thought I liked you better. But of all the things he was, a coward wasn't one of them. He was the bravest guy I ever knew, and he would never run from anything, least of all a human girl."

He'd never looked so small to him, so pathetic. He'd never particularly admired the guy, but Inuyasha realized in that moment that he did hold a measure of respect for him. At least, he had. This human took that away, and that angered him to no end.

"You're a coward, Sesshoumaru," he told him in no uncertain terms. "And if you leave now, you're crazy too. Not for running foolishly into battle, that I get," he included preemptively, cutting his snide brother off at the pass. "But you know how she feels about you. You may not be able to define love, but you're not stupid. You know when it's staring you right in your big, stupid face."

His silence was all the confirmation he needed, and that warmed him just enough to force a smirk past his defenses. "I know it too," he proudly declared. "I'm lucky enough have a girl look at me like that every day, and I wouldn't trade it in for anything- even full-demon blood."

That used to be all he ever wanted. He would have given anything to be a full youkai. If Sesshoumaru could just get his head out of his ass, his life would be better than it ever was before. He wouldn't miss being demon for a second. He'd thank the kami for making him human, and given the choice, he'd gladly trade it away again.

And from what he'd seen, Kagome would do the same. He'd been so worried that she would never love again after him. But he realized what a fool he'd been.

"The way she looks at you, is nothing like the way she used to look at me," he decided to inform him. "She thought she loved me, and I thought she did too. But something never felt right between us, and now I know why. Now I know the difference between true love and just a silly infatuation."

And that difference was everything. A distinction so important it was literally a matter of life or death. A reason to live... or die.

"I think you know it too. You have to, or you're either too dumb, or too deep in denial to ever figure it out."

He doubted it was the former. His brother wasn't a dumb guy. But he was stubborn. He could see it in the way he fought himself so vehemently at every turn, trying so hard to fit inside that mold he'd carved out so carefully.

But he was finding out that love didn't work that way. You can't force it to do what you want it to. You have to change your life around it, if that's what it wants.

It wasn't all his fault though. He was being forced to figure out all these things inside a body and a race that was completely new to him. He was a novice in both respects, and for once, the hanyou had an edge on him. For his own good, and Kagome's, he was willing to clue him in.

"That love is not easy to come by." He brandished a lopsided smirk. "And you, you fucking charmed bastard, nailed it in the first two weeks. I had to wait 200 years for a girl to look at me that way. And I'm still one of the lucky ones. Lots of people never find it."

As he looked at him thoughtfully, Inuyasha couldn't help but think he'd never seen him look so lost. He would have laughed if the circumstances were different.

"But when you find it, and embrace it with your whole heart – like I mean, completely surrender – it will be everything you ever need, and the only thing you want. You won't care about all the stuff you don't have. In fact, you will feel sorry for all those poor saps like my brother who only have everything else in the world. If you ain't got that, you ain't shit." Inuyasha frowned as something occurred to him. "The only thing worse would be if you had it and lost it. You would never be happy again. So I can actually see why you'd want to die."

The prospect of losing her seemed to be more than the ex-youkai could handle. Nipping this in the bud and going all kamikaze was his misguided way of taking back a measure of control in a world he was losing his grip on. He couldn't control which race he was, or who his heart wanted. He couldn't control the fact that he wanted her more every day, and how much harder that made it to know one day she would be gone.

He couldn't control the fact that she would die, and so would he. But he could control how he went out. He could control his mortality after all. He could end it whenever he wished.

Apparently, that was now.

He was taking charge of his fate, but what he didn't realize was that in doing so, he was taking charge of Kagome's too. He was taking her future in his hands, and out of her control.

"But Kagome doesn't get to die. She'd not a fucking coward, so she has to live without it. And that's a cruel fucking thing to do to somebody who loves you."

The conflict in his older brother's eyes should have pleased him. Should have given him hope that he was taking his words into account, but it just didn't.

It told him he still wasn't convinced, still wasn't certain which path was the right one, and he became disgusted with him all over again.

"You might actually have that prick beat in cruelty; it's really hard to say." He waved his hand off, somewhere towards the West. "So go ahead and go if you're gonna. Just do me a favor. Send my brother back if you find him." Thoroughly unimpressed, Inuyasha looked at Sesshoumaru like he was nothing more than an insect. The Western Lord knew that look well.

"He's the guy who looks just like you, except he ain't a pussy. He's as fearsome as he is stubborn, and pretty as he is stupid."

Dismissal in the form of a challenge was a brilliant strategy. Enough to keep the defiant, stubborn ass in place for at least a moment more. He considered his brother, considered many things as the hanyou crossed his arms and awaited his decision.

"It sounds like you are in love with him." He had to say something after such a violent attack, and the monotone taunt fell so easily off his tongue.

Inuyasha smirked. "I kinda wanna kiss him, yeah."

Sesshoumaru watched his brother's eyes drift skyward, and the hanyou cursed. His hand flew to Tetsusaiga's hilt just as Sesshoumaru turned to see what had earned such a creative outburst.

"These fucking guys. I thought I took care of the last of 'em."

A youkai nearly the size of Ah-Un had already flown out of sight. It appeared to have been some sort of insect, though much larger than even those of the youkai persuasion tended to be. Inuyasha took off in the direction it had gone and, endlessly curious, Sesshoumaru endeavored to follow.

When he caught up to him at the miko's well, Sesshoumaru found his brother simply standing there. Sword in hand, he watched on in annoyance as the humongous mosquito-looking thing hovered over the lip. It's incredibly long beak was concealed within its hollow depths, and from the glimpse he got of it in the air, it likely reached all the way to the bottom. Perhaps further.

The youkai rooted around greedily, acquiring some sort of sustenance from the mysterious old well. What it was, Sesshoumaru couldn't say. He knew it wasn't water, for at these temperatures, any that accumulated would surely be frozen solid.

He observed the strange creature a moment, happily drinking and apparently oblivious to the small audience it had gained, before finally turning to his stationary brother beside him. He lifted a brow.

"Magic suckers," he explained, continuing to watch with a look of disgust. "One day, they just started showing up. No idea where they came from. Never even seen 'em before, then _BAM."_

Sesshoumaru returned his gaze to assess the ugly abomination he'd also never encountered.

"They drain the well's magic." His voice turned grave as he wore a deep frown. "Don't know if they need it, or they just like it. Talk about power hungry."

Looking to his brother again, he matched his cadence with a looming sense of dread, and grew more disdainful when his eyes slid back to the well.

"The well's got plenty of magic, but once it's tapped..."

The connotations hung in the air only a moment before Sesshoumaru's feet took him forward. He didn't know what his brother was waiting for, but he would not chance the well's closure. The thought of the miko being trapped 500 years away from him was unbearable.

Though, it wasn't like he was going to be around long anyway. Still, he quickly closed the distance. Drawing his cheap human sword, all it took was one graceful swipe across it's bulbous, magic-thieving body to stop the vile beast's poaching. His brother's cries of protest hit his ears the second before he struck, and he errantly wondered why- until he didn't.

Putrid, viscous goo erupted from his full belly as soon as contact was made. The bug was no more, but his legacy lived on in the form of a violent shower of purple sludge that covered the well, and everything around it- which had at one point included him, and still would have if not for his brother's demon speed grabbing him, and pulling him to safety at the last possible moment. The light spattering on his white hakama attested to how close he had come to being doused. Inuyasha was mostly spared as well, but the clearing was now coated in the mosquito's tragic remains.

Sesshoumaru looked innocently into furious amber eyes. That answered why he hesitated. There must be a method to dispatching them that results in less clean-up. Oh well, you live and learn.

With one long look at the gooey well, Sesshoumaru hoped it wasn't filled too high with bug innards. Or at least, that the power would 'make it all go away.' He didn't want Kagome forced to wade through that mess.

He glanced dispassionately at his fuming brother, and wordlessly turned back the way they had come. An incredulous scoff hit his ears, but Sesshoumaru only kept walking.

"Sums up your stint as a human perfectly," Inuyasha bellowed. From the distance in his voice, he could tell he wasn't following him. "You swoop into our lives, make a huge mess of it and leave without cleaning up. Well even if you're gone, that mess is still there, and someone's gotta deal with it. Since we gotta live with it, I guess that's us. Must be nice to take off when it gets hard, but we can't do that."

Against his better judgment, Sesshoumaru stopped his progress to take in the scene behind him. From his new distance, the extent of the damage was much clearer, and somewhat surprising to him. How that bug managed to fit all that inside him was really quite impressive.

"You just gonna leave us with your mess out West?" his brother yelled next. "You gonna let some assholes takeover and try to run shit, and you ain't even gonna give us a say?"

Inuyasha had managed to hit on his biggest qualm with all this. His faith in the strength of his allies allowed him to gloss over that part, but the truth was, it was anybody's game.

He couldn't say with any certainty that the West would have a noble ruler in his wake. And those he left behind would be the ones to suffer the ramifications, should something unseemly come to pass.

But that was the way of the world. That was how all this worked. The strongest among them would find their way to leadership in one way or another. He could only hope for their sakes it was someone with a scrap of honor. Even better, with a sympathy for the less powerful species.

Almost faster than he could see, Inuyasha was before him again. Right in his face, arms crossed and scowling deep. Disapproval on display, and in no way ambiguous. "Just go," he ordered softly. "That's the easy way out."

But Sesshoumaru didn't. Didn't take orders, didn't follow commands. He just kept staring, expression unreadable.

"Never thought you'd be the one to run away. You really have changed, but here I thought it was for the better. It's a real disappointment." 

Inuyasha continued to glare, waiting for him to finally retreat. But he didn't move. The staredown continued until Sesshoumaru's eyes flicked down to his brother's hip, and at the sword that once defined their relationship.

If not for the clever hiding spot, Sesshoumaru never would have sought him out. He'd have never found the sword. Never even knew it existed. They never would have fought and clashed, and quarreled so passionately.

Never would have learned and grew, and come to any understanding. Never would have bonded in any way. The sword was the bond- the connection between them. Until they forged their own, it held them together by force.

Funny, he always thought it was what kept them apart.

"Give me the fang."

"What?" A possessive hand flew to his own hilt out of reflex. The triumphant return of Sesshoumaru's covetous gaze had the inu feeling uneasy, and a little hurt.

"It was forged to protect humans, was it not? This One is now in need of such protection, much more so than you. With Tetsusaiga, I will have the strength to make a formidable opponent, at the very least. I will have a fighting chance in this form. You can attest."

He could. That sword had taken a scrappy, unrefined hanyou and turned him into a force to be reckoned with. A being strong enough to go toe to toe with the most powerful demons in existence. Even land a strike or two against the Lord of the West.

He'd taken down the evilest and most powerful villain in any of the four lands, and he knew that without Tetsusaiga, it never would have been possible.

"Give me the fang," he ordered again, "so that I may stay and fight alongside you. So that I may protect them. You have my solemn vow that I shall never turn it on you or any of your pack."

He knew he never would. He knew... he could be trusted.

He also knew he was right. He needed his father's - _his_ sword more than ever. His power was gone; he was totally human, and he had droves of demons gunning for his hide. This weapon was not forged to reign supreme like he'd wanted it for originally. It was forged to give the underdog a fighting chance- just a slight edge to make it a fair fight. This was its intended purpose.

"If you truly wish me to stay, you must turn Tetsusaiga over to me. I have drawn it, and it has accepted me. I am worthy."

But it was his. It was an extension of his body at this point. And despite their mended relationship, giving it to Sesshoumaru went against every natural urge inside it. It felt wrong.

"If you do not, I shall take my leave. Those are my conditions."

He was much stronger now than he had been. Much stronger. And he'd like to think he didn't need it anymore. But insecurity and fear made him grip his weapon tightly.

Was he good enough to fight without it? Was his own strength enough?

Or was his father's protection the only reason he was breathing?

Sesshoumaru stood stoically, waiting his response. The protective stance his brother took as he twisted his hip back told him what the answer would be.

But he was wrong. 

Violet eyes widened incredibly as Inuyasha pulled his scabbard from his sash. Awash in disbelief, Sesshoumaru could only stand stunned as he extended the sword in offering.

He wasn't happy about it. In fact, he looked downright depressed. But he kept his somber glare trained on his brother's, until the elder slowly reached out and wrapped his fingers around the sheath.

Stupefied into silence, he looked down at the weapon he had lusted for most of his life. It wasn't borrowed, or stolen. It was his. Given of his own free will, Inuyasha had just done the one thing he'd sworn he'd never do. He couldn't believe it.

He truly didn't think the whelp would comply, especially after what happened the last time he'd asked for it. That was why he'd requested it.

Once Inuyasha refused him, he would have been free to leave. But he called his bluff, gave him his most prized possession, and for what? To simply keep him there with them? To lend him strength?

Why? Why do such a thing? What could possibly be in it for him?

He would willingly weaken himself to make his brother stronger? To ensure he remained? To let him live, if only a little longer?

He swore, no matter how long he was human, he was certain he would never understand them.

"That sword is meant to protect her," Inuyasha reminded him. "So do it."

He held his father's fang in both hands, and recalled the last time he'd done so. Back at the river, Tetsusaiga had spoken to him. It told him in no uncertain terms that it would serve to protect her. Inuyasha new this too. That had always been its purpose.

It told her things too. About him. About them. About the bond they'd forged, and the consequences of forsaking it. About destiny.

He'd disregarded the notion immediately. Too quickly, he now realized. Because he hadn't wanted to hear it. Tetsusaiga read his heart, knew his desires. What would it say now if he held it in his grasp? What would it see?

He was certain he didn't want to know.

Just the thought of drawing that sword again caused a swell of anxiety to clog his throat and speed his pulse concerningly. Because he didn't need it to tell him his heart any longer. He well knew it no longer resided within his borrowed breast. He'd left it in Inuyasha's hut. Abandoned. Hurting.

It was a necessary evil, or so he'd told himself. But his brother's assessment rang true in that moment.

He'd spent so much of his life chasing this sword, obsessing and seething, and now that he had it, he was too afraid to even pull it from its sheath. He was a coward.

He wasn't running to meet his fate. He'd already met it, and instead of facing it head on, he was running as fast as he could in the other direction.

He knew what the sword would tell him, and he couldn't even bear to hear the truth. Not from Tetsusaiga; not from his brother.

And they would know the truth. There was no honor in the warrior's death he sought, when he was using it as an escape hatch to evade his true fear.

They may come for him, true. But this pack was far from weak. He'd done well in convincing himself he was protecting them, but he truly was deluded if he couldn't see it was the other way around- had been for some time.

He was not their duty, but he was considered a member of this pack. And whether it was only temporarily was left entirely up to him. They were a formidable force, more than capable of defending what was theirs. If they considered that to be him, it was only an insult to surrender and to claim to do so for their benefit.

To suggest they could not stand and fight if need be, and to suggest it was actually _they_ that needed _his_ protection was an insult, and a farce. They hadn't failed him thus far.

If he wanted to go get his suicide by soldier, that was certainly his prerogative. But to suggest it was to keep them safe in a final altruistic act of bravery was downright offensive. They deserved better than that, and frankly, so did he.

If he wished to go through with this, he would have to admit that he was scared of what would happen once he accepted his new place in this world. He was afraid to learn that he would enjoy being just like them. That he would be happy in such an unimpressive existence. That he would prefer his meager human lifetime, if it meant he could be with her.

He would have to admit that he was afraid to find out how hollow, and unsatisfying, and pointless his youkai life had been; that his pursuit of power had been the wrong path, and his boastful claims of superiority had been wrong.

He would have to admit, if only to himself, that he was a coward, and what he feared most was a human woman whom he would have in lieu of his youki a thousand times over.

And Sesshoumaru was _not_ a coward.

Inuyasha moved to step past his brother, but a swift flick of his wrist had the sheathed sword blocking his path. He followed the arm that held it all the way up to Sesshoumaru's bored façade, and remained that way until the weapon was shoved into his arms.

Confused and concerned, he took the sword back, but imploring eyes demanded answers.

"To keep your demon side sealed, I would be forced to remain near you at all times." A haughty chin lifted as he looked down with contempt. "It is too high a price for even This One to tender."

Panic set in as Sesshoumaru began to turn, but before he could head back to his dragon, Inuyasha took a fistful of white silk, and _pulled_. "No. We had a deal," he told him firmly, and became more urgent when Sesshoumaru lifted a brow. "You said you'd stay. You can't take it back."

He looked down to where his poor collar was being stretched out - exposing pale flesh - and back up into his brother's desperate gaze. There was a ferocity there as well that he couldn't help but find flattering.

"You may keep your sword," he deigned generously, glaring down into his brother's worried eyes. "Yet I will stay."

But he didn't release him. He continued to look on with the skepticism of a man who'd been toyed with too many times to let hope foster freely.

For the benefit of his poor, fine silk, Sesshoumaru added, "...since it apparently means so much to you."

Inuyasha released his shirt, and a heavy gasp as he let relief finally claim him. By the time Tetsusaiga was returned to its rightful place at his hip, Sesshoumaru was already making his way back.

"Where you going?" he asked, running to catch up.

"I made a rather large mess in your hut," he replied, casting a sidelong glance. "I had best go clean it while I can."

Inuyasha smiled as the two continued to walk back.

"Have you any idea where I should start?" Sesshoumaru ventured, already playing scenarios through his mind and not liking the results he was getting.

Inuyasha laughed to himself. Kagome's temper was one to be reckoned with, as he was sure he well knew. If not, Sesshoumaru was going to get extremely familiar with that fact very soon.

But it wasn't like the bastard didn't deserve it. And he was more than pleased to let his brother be the one to take the brunt of her fury, instead of himself for a change.

He did feel bad for the guy though, so he tried to think of any successes he'd ever had in softening the blow. One came to mind, and had him reaching into his robes.

"Here, take these."

Sesshoumaru stopped, and stared suspiciously at the sprig of yellow blooms his brother held out for him. "Sometimes they help sop up the sludge, but not always."

He lifted a brow. Humans were so strange. How could a few flowers, rumpled and worn from abuse inside a man's clothes aid in making amends? But more importantly...

"Why do you have these?" he asked, but still reached out carefully to accept the small bouquet.

"Rin picked 'em for you earlier. I forgot she asked me to hold onto them."

Of course. He should have known any flowers in the vicinity would have Rin's fingerprints on them.

There was a kid that had a large floral arrangement coming her way- after he spoke to Kagome. He just wasn't so sure the miko would be as appeased by such a gesture.

Sensing his reluctance, his bother added, "If you don't use 'em now, I'm pretty sure you'll be wearing a flower crown tomorrow." Inuyasha grinned wide at the thought. "As much as I'd love to see that-"

"What should I say?"

He'd been cruel. And though it had been for her own good, he doubted Kagome would take that into account.

He gazed helplessly at the flowers in his hand, and Inuyasha noted that he looked just as lost as he had earlier. It must be hard for the proud lord, being constantly out of his depth.

Unfortunately, he was on his own with this one.

"You're asking me?" he asked incredulously, and shook his head. "Feh, good luck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, we're almost there! Next chapter will likely be longer, but prob not toooo much. But even if i go nuts again and write 100 pages, i'm still gonna post it in one big long chapter lol. i'm sure that won't happen tho.............


	35. You Can't Spell Evolve Without It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was brought to you by the coronavirus. Without it, I never would've had so much time off work stuck inside with nothing to do. So even though I started writing this before the plague, it definitely wouldn't be what it is without it. Nor would it be anywhere close to done. So I guess the moral is, when covid give you lemons, make fanfic lemonade (and the more lemons the better, am I rite?).
> 
> PS: I managed to restrain myself, and kept it at a tight 77 pages lol. I am so sorry...

After a brief delay, Sesshoumaru's war dragon was seen cutting through the sky at breakneck speeds in a familiar westbound path. The journey would go on as planned, less one notable passenger.

Jaken had been sent with orders to seek out Toran and assist her in any way she required. Then, he was to return to the village and deliver a full report.

He had faith in his allies and soldiers, but he would be no use to them there. He was a valuable mind in a vulnerable body, and for the time being, could serve them best discretely from the safety of the camp.

He still held concerns that he would be discovered, bringing danger to his pack. But these humans had proven time and again that they were not to be underestimated. He was intimately familiar with the ramifications of such a slight.

Besides, if evil prevailed in the upcoming war, humans everywhere would likely be placed in peril regardless of his noble sacrifice. This pack was no safer with him dead, so barring the use of his powerful physical form, he would offer his aid through his tactical cunning, and unrivaled mind for war. All they had to do was ask, but until they returned, he would be forced into the uncomfortable position of waiting on the sidelines, hiding amongst his mortal brethren.

In the meantime, he would be charging head-on into more unfamiliar territory, and trying his hand at groveling. He was being adventurous today.

He'd wanted to make it easier for the miko to let him go, and his efforts would also make taking him back a bit harder. But he always did like a challenge.

Unsure if he would get the go-ahead, Sesshoumaru forewent announcing his arrival and simply let himself into his brother's new hut. He located the lone figure with ease, and quickly crossed the room to the tiny body curled up on the high bed.

Her back was to the door, but he could hear the soft weeping she was struggling to contain. Her body shook lightly from restraint- likely in attempt to conceal her destress, so as not to burden others with it.

He suddenly regretted his earlier prayers for a less expressive outburst than his ward had supplied.

He rounded the futon smoothly, and crouched to level his face with hers. Her sorrow was his own, and he chided himself mentally for ever entertaining harming her- even for her benefit.

A gentle brush against her cheek dampened the pads of his fingers, and Kagome opened her eyes. His wordless apology simmered upon his somber features, and he wasn't done. He carefully lifted his fistful of yellow blooms for her perusal, doubtful and uncertain of their effectiveness, but cautiously optimistic.

She spared a fleeting glance to the abused bouquet, and was understandably unimpressed when she returned her bloodshot gaze to him. "Rin gave those to you," she accused quietly, lifting a hand to wipe her cheek. "I saw her picking them."

"I will take her to pick more tomorrow." His velvety vow caressed her eardrums, somehow relaxing the tension in her chest.

She searched his face for deceit, and, of course, found none. "You mean you are staying?" she asked carefully, wary of letting hope bloom prematurely. She pushed herself up to sit, letting her legs hang over the edge of the platform, and he quickly seized the open place at her side.

"I realized something very important," he told her, discarding his gift on the mattress behind them and knocking loose a few petals in the process. "and now know that the reason I had for leaving you is the very reason I cannot."

"What?"

Hands now free, he took her cheek in his palm and was encouraged when she allowed it. He looked deeply into her sapphire gaze, intense and intent on proving his sincerity. "I would rather die than live without you."

The ensuing silence felt like an eternity, and he prepared himself for the crushing blow of her dismissal.

After a moment of consideration, she finally ended his torment. "You don't have to do either, idiot."

The beginnings of her smile loosened the coil around his heart, and his own lips twitched. "That was my next epiphany."

Her short laugh caused his fingers to curl against her skin, stroking anxiously to soothe himself as much as her. "I apologize for my behavior. I was only trying to-"

"It's okay," she assured him, letting her smile widen. "I forgive you."

She lifted her hand to cover his on her cheek, and stunned him speechless with her easy acceptance. He expected much more of a struggle, drawing from previous encounters.

"Just like that?" he asked dubiously, amusing her.

"Just like that."

Despite letting out a huff of relief, he wasn't sure how he felt about that. He hadn't been so forgiving when it came to her indiscretions. He at least made her suffer a bit before forgiving her for the wish, but she would not respond in kind. It made him feel small for not being so gracious.

"Life's too short," she explained, sensitive to his conflicted reaction. "I don't want to waste any more of it fighting. Besides," she smiled, "I know you have my best interests at heart. I trust you."

He couldn't agree more; too much time had been squandered already, and he endeavored to correct that. A man of action, he showed his gratitude by leaning forward and capturing her lips in an urgent kiss.

He had so many things he wished her to know in that moment, but lacked the descriptors to relay himself adequately with words alone. He likely didn't know much of what he was feeling, nor could he accurately describe it. But luckily, he didn't need to.

Though words failed him, his clever mouth told her everything she needed to hear. He expressed himself perfectly, pouring himself into her, uncensored and unbidden, and let her know him completely.

And in return, she let him feel that unconditional trust he'd been wanting for all this time, and he knew without a doubt it was true.

The kiss became heated quickly, breath drawing harshly against parted lips as tongues sought one another in desperation. Fists clenched tightly into restrictive clothing, causing nails to scrape heated skin. They pulled back panting as she rested her forehead against his to catch breath.

"Does that mean you want to try?" she asked huskily, smoothing his rumpled silk back out.

He grabbed her by the waist. "That is not what I came back for," he insisted, pulling away. She did the same, but he did not release his hold. "I did mean what I said, about not wanting to try and make me demon." He held her gaze firmly to make sure she understood. "I have made peace with the fact that I will likely never return to my former glory, and I accept it." Sesshoumaru's violet gaze turned pleading as he tenderly brushed back a few fallen locks. "I do not want you to worry on it. Let us simply enjoy whatever time we have."

He knew she was trying to help, and he knew a lot of the reason for that was guilt regarding the wish. But watching her waste her life, beat herself up over his humanity would be even more excruciating than being human. He couldn't do it. So if she really wanted to help him, she would abandon those notions and simply try to find some happiness in this life. He vowed to assist her in that in any way he could.

"That's what I am trying to do." Her shy admission made him squeeze her hips in his grasp, and she started fussing with the lapels of his haori. "I don't care if you change back or not. I think my plan has merit, but that was not the reason I suggested it."

With his rapt attention focused squarely on her earnest features, her fiery blue gaze was deathly serious. "Being friends used to be good enough, but that is no longer the case." His attention drifted down to the lip she pulled anxiously between her teeth. "I know I'm being selfish, but... Sesshoumaru, you do things to me."

His eyes opened a little wider at the admission, but he opted not to interrupt her. 

Seeing she had the floor, Kagome gathered her courage and took a steadying breath. She was finally going to tell him all the things she'd been longing to say, but hadn't found the nerve. "There are many, many things about you that I am attracted to," she would easily admit. "But lately, since we haven't been talking as much, I've only been able to focus on the physical things."

Nervous hands resumed their movements, sliding back and forth over the hard planes of his chest. She couldn't maintain that piercing stare if she was going to continue speaking, so her eyes drifted there as well. "I know it makes me sound really shallow, but I'm just being honest."

'Honesty is goood,' he nearly said, more desperate to hear it from her in this moment than ever before. But something told him that this exchange was his to lose, so he kept his dumb mouth shut.

Her audience of one didn't dare say a word, nor move a muscle, save for the twitching fingers that held her in his grip.

"When I look at you now," she continued, still pointedly not looking at him, "I can't help but remember what you looked like laying beneath me, totally naked."

He was statuesque as she started rubbing harder, but not just because he was motionless. His body was solid as stone, and she enjoyed the feel of it, clad in silk beneath her questing palms as she ran them over his form. It was impossible not to let her memory supply her with what she knew was underneath.

"I think about how firm the muscles in your chest are, and what it feels like to have the ridges in your stomach pressing up against me." She ran her hands down lower as she spoke, feeling him convulse beneath her fingertips as she continued her journey southward. "How much I love touching them with my fingers... and my tongue."

The bolder language allowed her to finally lift her gaze. When she met his eyes once again, she found they'd hooded in her absence but focused on her keenly.

"I miss the feel of your big, strong arms wrapped around me," she told him, stroking languidly up said appendages, "and how safe and protected I feel when I'm inside them, or trapped between them." He took the cue, and wrapped her in his embrace, pulling her back against his chest. "So powerful, but so gentle in a way that feels like it's only for me."

"It is," he assured her, pressing his nose into her temple as he spoke in hushed, private tones. The sensation of his hot breath against her ear encouraged her lids to droop, and she lifted her hands to caress the forearms that gathered her to him tightly.

"When I close my eyes, I see your beautiful face hovering over mine, and I can almost feel your lips on my neck," she sighed when his warm mouth instantly found her pulse point, "...and my breasts, and down between my legs."

While his mouth was making the hairs on her neck stand on end, his hands slid down her body, grabbing and petting until she shivered in his arms.

Through all his distractions, she would not yield her time- stopping her raunchy confession only long enough to moan or cry out her appreciation.

"I get so turned on whenever I think about you," she said breathily, "and all the things you've done to me. The things we've done together."

"What things?" he asked, his tone husky as soft lips just barely brushed her ear.

"Do you remember when I took your... in my mouth."

He wanted to laugh. She still couldn't say it, despite all they had done. Despite what he was doing to her this very moment. But instead, he replied, "Vividly."

"Really?" she asked, turning to regard him with the beginnings of a lazy smirk. "Because you looked like you were slipping in and out of consciousness."

He smiled darkly into her half-lidded features. "Is _that_ what you call it?" As he taunted, he applied just a bit more pressure and relished wiping that superior smirk off her face. That small amount of extra force had her head tilting back, and her jaw fell open in a silent scream. She could only imagine what would happen if he really got serious.

"It's been so hard being kept at a distance." Her head lulled back onto his shoulder for support. "I felt guilty because every time I looked at you, I would remember how big and hard you get for me, and it made me so _wet."_

He tried to muster some guilt for being so cold to her when they returned to the village, but her wanting body and shameless flattery were having too profound an effect. He was certain she could feel that his affliction from the other night was more than resolved. That would not be a problem for them tonight, or ever again.

"What do you about it?" he asked, making her groan out as he roughly handled her breast. That sexy tenor was usually smooth as silk, but hearing it harshen with lust for her was nearly enough to send her careening.

"Well," she began, finding it difficult to retain a coherent thought, let alone articulate it. "I remember taking you in my mouth, and then I put my fingers between my folds."

He groaned at the image, stroking her more firmly in the way she described. Feeling how hot, and wet she was getting already. "I pretend it's you touching me," she gasped, breath coming more labored. "I have to trick myself."

Riding high on male pride, he shifted his hips so she could feel his approval. He couldn't tell if she was simply humoring him at this point, but he didn't care. It didn't matter anyway. Either way, it was not a problem she would ever again have the chance to contend with.

"I have been needing you so bad for so long." She raised her arm behind her head to touch his face, and he leaned greedily into the contact. "If we don't do it soon... I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Why have you never said anything?" he asked, squeezing her tighter and pressing his forehead into her temple. "You know I would have helped you."

"You wouldn't even talk to me." At the reminder, his attentions began to slow. "I was worried you didn't want me anymore."

The distress she displayed stopped his movements all together. He wanted to keep pleasing her - stoking her - but needed her to know that he was serious.

He hugged her tighter. "I _never_ stopped wanting you," he told her firmly. "Not for one second."

She turned back to look up into his own troubled features. "It really showed me how foolish I was. How I had taken you for granted." When she pulled away, he reluctantly released her so she could turn to face him. "Like I had all the time in the world. Like you were always going to be waiting. When you weren't," she remembered sadly, "and I didn't know if you'd forgive me, it made me realize how thoughtless I've been. How lucky I was to have you, and how wonderful you are."

Her smile returned as she lifted her hand to gently touch his cheek. She stroked him lovingly where steep cuts of beautiful magenta should have been. "It made me realize how much I need you, and how life without you isn't really life at all." She studied him a moment, and her smile fell into something serious. "I'm s-"

"Don't," he begged, arresting her tracing fingers in his firm grip.

She'd apologized to him enough for one lifetime. He was so tired of seeing her regretful. He just wanted to see her happy. Could she ever be so with him, if her mistakes were always glaring back at her through his ordinary violet gaze?

"No. I need to say it." She was determined, so he relaxed his grip to let her reclaim her hand, albeit forlornly. "I'm sorry I didn't appreciate you. And thank you, for everything you've done for me. You have no idea how much it all means to me. How much you do."

For the first time in his life, Sesshoumaru didn't know what to say.

She made him feel so many things so quickly, and so fiercely, he barely had time to register them all, let alone respond to them.

Being human left him vulnerable to an onslaught of emotions and thoughts he'd never experienced as a demon, and when he was with her, everything was so new and so fast and so strong...

No one had ever shown him such unconditional kindness, but he knew it was more than that.

She cared. She cared about him, and while the notion seemed useless and trivial to his logical mind; it warmed him to his core. It filled every part of him, alerting him to the previous emptiness he'd never even been aware of – hollow places in his being that he didn't know were not meant to be that way.

And now that he was privy to the stark contrast - that marvelous, unmatched power far beyond anything he'd ever imagined - he knew he could never go back. He didn't know how he'd managed until this point without that absolute fullness beneath his breast, because it wouldn't just be excruciating now if it was gone; he would simply cease to function.

He remained speechless, and didn't know how much time had passed while he tried to account for the new additions, but the miko had apparently grown weary of waiting.

"Now you go," she ordered.

Overwhelmed, but hiding it fairly well, the former demon simply blinked.

Go? She wanted him to leave? Perhaps he wasn't off the hook quite yet.

But even though she was a baffling enigma to him, she read him like a book. Sensing his confusion, she offered him a smile that sent a whole new flood of warmth coursing through his veins, and grabbed his hands.

"Okay," she began determinedly, captivating him with her shy smile. "I'm a teenage virgin with self-esteem issues, abandonment issues... and I'm about to give myself to the most unfairly beautiful man to ever walk the earth." He saw her confidence falter when her gaze turned pleading and timid. "Tell me what I want to hear."

So, she wanted assurances. Even after all they had shared - all he had shown her - she still was not certain of her place in his heart.

Perhaps that was his fault. He was still learning to convey himself as a human would require. He preferred to show through actions, and there would be a time for that soon. But after all she had relayed to him just now, he could give her the words she needed from him.

He simply had to find them.

She watched on a moment as he tried to think of answer, and huffed loudly. "That's not exactly flattering," she told him hotly, releasing his hands in frustration. Apparently, speed factored into the approval of his reply. Her disappointment was clear.

He was quick to reclaim her hands, however, and she let him. "I simply do not wish to speak incorrectly," he explained. Sesshoumaru did not normally talk much, but each word was chosen with the utmost care and consideration. And this seemed important to her.

"I have it," he finally declared after only a moment more. Squeezing her hands tighter, he looked right into her eyes. "You would agree that no matter which form I take, I am vied for by every woman I see."

It wasn't a question, and seeing his earnestness, she threw him a flat glare. "You're only complimenting yourself," she accused in annoyance. "You're supposed to be doing me."

His expression didn't change. "I have been offered the most beautiful, most brilliant, most poised and powerful bitches youkai society has to offer." With a large eye roll, she threw his hands down. "And not just in the West," he continued to explain, "in all the lands. The world."

Standing suddenly, she was stopped when he rose to his feet in a flash, and grabbed her arm. "None of them are fit to wash your robes." He got a thoughtful look. "As a matter of fact, if I do return, I shall organize it." Seeing her still distressed, he reached out to cradle her face. "You put every one of them to shame in every way. I rejected all of them - every one - and never thought of them again until now."

She relaxed at the intensity, and the softness he displayed, but still did not seem entirely pleased. He used the opportunity to pull himself a little closer. "You know I have looked upon no human but you. But you must also know that no demoness to earn my gaze has affected This One so profoundly." He smiled in an astounded, helpless way. "You occupy my mind at every waking moment. Haunt my dreams, in the most disconcerting, and pleasurable way. I cannot recall of a time before you, and refuse to entertain the notion of an after."

She could only stare as he offered his confession, allowing him to draw her even closer, both hands holding her to him tightly as his silk bunched up beneath her touch.

"When I look upon you, I know it is the only form I wish to see," he assured her, stroking heatedly up and down her sides. "The only soft skin I wish to feel writhing beneath my hands, my hips, my mouth..." He dipped low, spoke lower as she felt hot breath travel along her cheek. When she felt his tongue drag hotly along her neck, she shuddered, inhaling a shaky breath as a tingle raced down her spine.

"... The only taste I ever want upon my tongue, the only scent I wish to know." She felt his nose in her hair as he gathered her up against his chest, and her hands grasped the taut biceps that held her. "Your voice," he rumbled, "the only sound I wish to hear, and when I do, to know it will only be my name upon your lips. Rest assured that no other name but yours shall ever leave my mouth on passionate breath."

She was on anything but solid ground as she trembled from sensory overload. Everything about him was imposing, even like this, and he managed to be everything - touch _everything_ \- all at once. She almost doubted his existence, but his hold on her was all too real. She knew she was safe in his arms, even though he himself threatened to pull the ground from beneath her feet.

He held her tenderly in his palm once more as he wrapped his arm around her waist and bore into her startled blue eyes with the utmost sincerity. "I told you once that my mortal life belongs to you."

She didn't need the reminder. The bittersweet pangs of the revealing declaration had followed them both ceaselessly from the Northern Lands all the way to this very hut.

"...but I was only half right."

Eyes widened as she watched a kind of helpless joy tease his lips and his eyes, and compromise the determined set of his strong jaw. "The reality is that on this day, the next, and each one after it; everything I am, and everything I ever will be, is yours."

Pleased to render her to the same stunned silence she'd had him reduced to only moments ago, he could only hope he'd filled her with the same warm completeness she had given him.

Actually nervous, he brushed the bangs from her eyes to distract him of it, and let his adoring gaze drift to her slightly parted lips.

"And Higurashi Kagome, Keeper of the Shikon no Tama, Slayer of the vile hanyou Naraku," he nearly chuckled to himself as realized her absurd list of impressive accomplishments, and endeavored not to omit a single one. "Time-Jumping Shrine Maiden and infuriating bane to proud demons everywhere, has Lord Sesshomaru of the Western Lands," he tucked a fallen lock back behind her ear, "son of Inu no Taisho, and brother to the foul-mouthed half breed Inuyasha, rendered absolutely powerless."

He had no name to give her, but she certainly wasn't wanting for them. She'd done just fine on her own. She was independent and capable and impressive. Strong and powerful, and didn't need him to protect her. That was good, since he was hardly capable of such anymore.

If she kept him near, it was out of simple desire to do so. She didn't need him. Not in any away different to the way he needed her. The way he'd denied and resisted and lamented for so long - he now admitted freely, and without an ounce of reluctance.

After a long, hard fight, he finally surrendered. For the first time in his life, and it felt so incredibly _good_. It felt right.

"When I discovered I desired you, I thought it was a weakness." The admission was offered almost apologetically. Stroking her cheek in his hand, vulnerable violet eyes pled wordlessly for acceptance, for forgiveness... for mercy. "The only way you could ever weaken me is if you chose to leave."

He released her unresponsive form to take both her hands in his and draw them up between them. "I put myself in your hands," he told her softly. "Please be gentle."

He waited breathlessly for her response, for approval. But once the first tears rolled down her rosy cheeks, others followed quickly behind in an endless stream beyond either of their control.

He stood by helplessly, unsure of what he'd done or should do. Every time he thought he understood these confounding beings, he was harshly reminded the contrary. But for her, he would keep trying until he got it right.

"I did it wrong," he announced with a frown, and lifted his hand to dry her cheek. "Inuyasha was correct. I seem to have a knack for bringing women to tears-"

With a firm yank on his lapels, Kagome crashed his lips to hers in a move so violent it nearly sent them tumbling. Luckily, he'd held his footing, and slid his arms around her waist as her eager lips and insistent tongue assaulted his unsuspecting cavern feverishly, and without repent.

He happily complied to the command, not that he thought he had much choice in the matter. Long, lean arms toned from years of archery wrapped around his neck to pull him harder still into her demanding flesh. She pressed herself to him, melding the softness of her breasts and belly into his solid form, rigid and firm from head to toe as a result of centuries swinging a sword.

He'd sculpted every inch of his powerful body to ensure each movement on the battlefield would be executed to perfection, with ease and flair, and with enough strength behind it to land every blow with as much force as required to defeat any opponent.

At least, that was what he thought at the time. But now that he had this tiny woman clinging to him, moaning muffled sounds of want and approval into his waiting mouth with every pass of her pliant form, now he knew that he'd been doing it all for her.

This body was the weapon he would use to please her, and he needed it in perfect condition to deliver her every desire with flawless execution. He'd been brutally training his whole life, and he only knew now as she mewled and writhed against him what exactly he was for. He was built for her, pure and simple.

Her fingers laced his hair as she pulled his handsome face to hers, and she groaned against his receptive lips when he forced her waist more firmly into his so she could feel the full extent of his desire.

That was all it took to have her tearing at his obi. She worked the knot with all the patience of a being who retained their virtue solely at the humor of the kami. Denial after distraction after interruption... she felt like she couldn't give the damn thing away. She'd sure been trying.

Now, it felt like a race against the clock- a countdown to their next sick, cruel joke, and she wasn't going to let the fates cockblock her this time.

With his silk sash on the floor, she eagerly ripped open the folds of his haori coat to expose the pale, perfect skin of his rigid chest. She refused to relinquish his lips, however, and the turbulent movements made the kissing less synchronized.

When his lower lip became trapped in her mouth, she sucked hard and traced it with her tongue. She took the warm flesh between her teeth, and tugged on him just a little less than gently, earning a low groan for the aggressive treatment.

Inspired, she scraped her teeth over his chin, gnawing and licking her way down his throat as his eyelids drifted blissfully. She protested when he pulled away, prepared to demand answers when his smoldering gaze killed the words in her throat. The intensity, and raw need sparked an aching in her core, and the predatorial glint reminded her that though this body looked human, there was very much a demon at the helm.

His stilling command paid dividends when he grabbed the open ends of his haori and peeled it back. His molten gaze remained on hers, which lowered as he removed the clothing with an urgent grace only attainable by him.

Kami, she'd never get used to that body as long as she lived. She thought that ancient sculptors were perhaps generous with their subjects, for no man could possibly reflect such perfection. But just the sight of his godly form made her want to break out a chisel and get to work herself. Sesshoumaru was certainly worthy of being immortalized in marble, in any form he took.

His blood heated as he watched lust consume her while she ogled his exposed body- growing aroused at the vision of her growing aroused at the vision of him.

When his shirt joined the pile of silk on the floor, he reached out for her, only to be surprised when instead of him, she grabbed the ends of her own top and pulled it over her head with a fluid rip. Tossing it aside - she didn't bother checking where - she barreled toward him with intent blazing in those stunning blue eyes.

The black breast binding she wore was incredible. He'd seen nothing like it in all of his years, and it showcased her perfect assets like they were put on display just for him. He felt the stirrings of something building low in his throat, but he no longer had the equipment to make the kind of noise the sight of her warranted.

In no time, she was on him again. Possessive fingertips splayed on his hard stomach as he allowed her to enjoy the feel of him under her hands. Skin on warm skin made ripples of powerful muscle jump and twitch under her reverent attention.

While she marveled at the perfection before her, he ran a finger over the bend of her bare shoulder. He traced the strap a second before slipping underneath and giving an experimental yank.

Letting his gaze linger on the material on her chest, he lifted his hand to place gently on her other shoulder. He'd intended on trying his hand at removing the thing, but without warning she had taken herself out of range.

The sudden drop to her knees startled him, but he was forced to recover quickly when impatient fingers began fumbling with his waistband.

With his aid, they made quick work of the ties, and she pulled the hakama all the way down his legs. She helped him step out of them, and his boots, and he suddenly found himself completely bare before her.

She apparently wasn't concerned with her packmates returning to the hut – or using their bed, for that matter – but that made two of them. He was concerned with the fact that she still had an annoying amount of clothing barring her from his view, and sought to remedy that quickly.

When he reached down to retrieve her, however, she refused him. "Sit," was her command, getting high on her knees and stroking his muscular thighs with her palms.

He could see what she intended, and though not what he had in mind, he felt a bolt of energy shoot through his spine like a lightning rod.

He meant to argue. To strip her of the rest of her clothing and begin his favorable task of preparing her to finally accept him, as they both desperately needed. But blunts nails raked pleasingly down the tops of his thighs, and his exposed member was straining to meet her- already dangerously close to her tempting mouth.

She looked up at him innocently and from this angle, he could see the tops of pebbled nipples peeking out above her bindings. His cock was thick and heavy though it suspended between them, and she held his gaze unblinkingly as she ventured forward and licked his hardness at its tip.

He shuddered, and when she grabbed him by the base, it only took a light shove to make him drop back and sit heavily on the bed behind him. Reclining on his elbows, he watched Kagome straighten, and lean over his lap as she took her first nice, long stroke.

He groaned deep in his throat at the first pull; just the sight of her was enough to make him do something so shameless this early on. But it had been weeks since he'd known her touch like this, and the last time had been so _good_.

He kept his eyes opened; he wanted to watch her every move. Biting her lip as she stroked him, she made herself comfortable between his spread thighs, and watched his eyes hood with pleasure with each languid pull across his stiff cock.

She grabbed one muscular leg for leverage when she finally dipped her head to take him into her sweet, soft mouth. Unhinging her jaw, she wrapped her lips around the wide head and caught his eye as she licked and swirled, flicking teasingly all over the sensitive flesh at the end of his dick. She remembered his advice from last time to keep her focus on the tip.

She angled him downward a bit so he could get a good view of himself slipping past her lips. His own jaw hung open in near disbelief as she locked eyes and dared him to look away from the fabulous sight she offered him.

He trembled with restraint as he commanded himself to remain still, and receive his pleasure, and not fucking blink lest he miss one second of her performance. Then she pulled him out just enough so he could watch her tease him with her tongue, before forming a tight seal and finally bobbing down on him as far as she could manage.

Hot puffs of trembling air continued to leave his lungs as she pulled her tight mouth up and down his shaft. She was able to get a little more of him in this time, but still used her hand to take care of the neglected bottom half she just couldn't absorb.

Wet, and firm, and soft attention was lavished upon him generously. And she was hot - so fucking hot - inside and out. Her temperature was perfect, whatever it was, it was perfect. The pressure she applied was perfect. And as she accepted him with enthusiasm over and again ceaselessly, he allowed his body to recalibrate in every possible way.

He made a strangled noise when he felt himself hit the back of her throat particularly hard, and he finally jolted forward. Now sitting up, he gently eased the ambitious woman off his lap, and he slid from her mouth one last time.

"Kagome," he rasped, using his light hold on her face to coax her up to join him. "You are going to end me before we even begin."

As she crawled up his body, he guided her lips to his for another searing kiss. The taste of himself on her tongue pleased him, and he enjoyed it decadently while maneuvering her beneath him.

She sat up enough to reach behind and unhook her bra. He would need to learn eventually, but she hadn't the patience to show him now. The moist head of his cock tickled her bare thigh, and the aching between her legs turned into a violent pulsing when he lowered his head to place an open-mouthed kiss above her navel.

She moaned, arching her lithe form into him while trying to remain coherent enough to finish her difficult task. It was made even harder still when she felt his playful tongue dance along her skin between his gentle bites.

He managed to find the zipper, and slid both skirt and panties down her long legs in a single pull.

Now also bare, his eyes lingered on her exposed womanhood, and noted she'd maintained the stylish stripe he'd given her that night in the hot spring. That appeased a base, possessive part of him, but the sight of her like this brought back memories of his last demon night, and insecurities left him hesitant.

He longed to shove his tongue between her hot folds and taste the sweet flavor he'd been denied ever since that night.

He would - make no mistake - but he found himself struck with worry that she may be disappointed this time around.

As a youkai, he was more than confident in his ability to please her. But if she was expecting him to perform as well and as long as he had for her that evening, he feared she may be left wanting.

The sight of black lace flying past his periphery drew his attention back up her heaving form to find the miko smiling sexily, yet anxiously down at him. Sparing her breasts an appreciative glance, he bypassed the tantalizing, pink-tipped mounds on his way back up her body and settled himself above her.

She grabbed his strong shoulders in excited anticipation and lifted her face to his. Before she met his lips however, they moved, and stopped her cold.

"This will be shorter than I am used to." The declaration was unexpected, and caused her brow to furrow, so he continued his preamble. "In both regards. Not only is this body weak, it has been wanting for some time." He felt compelled to warn her, but only received a dubious look in response.

"Don't oversell it," she quipped dismissively, but then realized how serious he was being. With an assuring smile, she brushed his cheek and offered a reminder. "I have nothing to compare it to."

He gazed down at the woman in his arms, felt the sensation of her naked body pressed against his own as she looked trustingly into his eyes, and knew he was being foolish.

He'd just never felt so lacking in his life. Definitely not while nude with a female. But he wanted to give her everything. She deserved the best, and his control over this human body was particularly elusive when she was around. That hadn't changed since the day she'd rescued him, and he wondered briefly if it ever would.

But he'd kept this woman waiting long enough. He may not have achieved mastery, but he would give her all he had. He descended on her lips at last, earning a pleased noise as she writhed into him.

"You have had me in a constant state of arousal since the cave," he admitted huskily, grabbing her hip to grind harder. He moved his lips to her throat, giving several rough kisses all along her jaw.

She sighed and moaned at the more aggressive treatment, throwing her head back for better access and pulling him closer. "You wanted me back then?" she asked when she found her voice again. "I didn't know I wanted you until the first time we kissed- when your arm was broken."

He slid his hand up her side to pinch her nipple. She shrieked out, but arched into him as he kneaded his apology into her abused breast. Their hips rocked needfully against each other until he shifted, sliding himself lower to kiss her upper chest.

"Yes, though I was not aware how much," he said between licks, covering her in his saliva and making her sensitive to the cool air. "I thought it was simply my new form reacting in an unwanted fashion. It was not until the night before we left for our journey that I realized I wanted to have you. I saw you, pleasuring yourself with your massager in your hut."

"How did you see that?" she asked dazedly as his mouth breached the swell of her breast. He grazed his teeth along the inside, stopping at the perimeter of the tightened areola. She cried her frustration when he paused to lift his gaze up to her. Head thrown back and eyes closed, she did not seem terribly offended.

"Never mind," he said. "But I was watching you, and pleasuring myself to the act."

She moaned out her relief when he finally wrapped his lips around her firm peak, and bucked harder, pressing into him even more as he expertly used his tongue to play with her sensitive nerve endings. He switched after a long moment, trading hot mouth for nimble fingers as he divided the attention. 

It wasn't until he was done, and dipped to kiss her sternum that she finally spoke again. "I guess I should be upset," she told him, breathing heavily from the excitement he'd just put her through. The cold air rushed back to her exposed, moistened breasts, alighting her nerve endings and making her throb. "But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about you too."

He slid back up her body, and she made a strained noise as she felt his hardness drag up her leg once again. She smiled up at him only to be leveled with an admonishing glare. "Do not forget that just because I can no longer scent your lie, it does not mean I cannot read the signs of your deceit."

Her smile never faltered; in fact, it only became larger as she rolled herself purposefully against his hard cock. "How do you know that's not my arousal you are reading?" she asked coyly, grinding her moist apex into his firm body for emphasis.

He continued to glare disapprovingly, even as he placed a hand on her hip. "You do not need to stroke my ego."

With a mischievous glint, she slipped her hand between their bodies and grabbed hold of his arousal. "Hm, is that where you keep it?" she taunted as she gave his pulsing cock a few firm pulls.

He groaned when her grip tightened, eyes slamming shut as her residual spit help him slip through her fist easily, and she could feel a bit of fresh wetness where the tip rubbed against her leg.

He was clearly more than ready, but she was the one they had to worry about. He had felt her juices coating his thigh, but he needed to do everything he could to make this experience as comfortable for her as he could possibly manage.

There would be pain. Likely a great deal of it. So anything he could do to mitigate that would be seen to.

He probably didn't need to spend so much time preparing her with his mouth, but she didn't seem to mind his being extra diligent in that regard. He just loved the taste of her. He could feast on the banquet her body offered for days if she'd let him, and they had some lost time to make up.

She'd expressed her agitation when he teased her at first, tracing the seam of her soft petals with his tongue until the pointed neglect made her ache with unsated need.

When her fluids coated her thighs and his chin to his liking, he added his fingers to begin the task of stretching her out for him. He noted it was slightly easier to force her apart this time, and he eventually wedged in three of his digits to help spread her open. It was still going to be a tight fit, but hopefully not as shocking to her as it otherwise might have been.

"Stop..." she begged, not for the first time. And like all the others, her request would be denied. "You're going to making me cum... before we get to the sex."

When he stopped the beautiful assault at last, he found her flushed gaze. Drugged eyes spared a lazy glance, but he seemed less than concerned. "That is the idea," he informed her plainly, and put his mouth right back where it belonged.

He pumped her until he could no longer endure the piteous pleas to end her long, drawn-out torture. With a few firm, well-timed strokes of his cruel tongue, he brought her to that precipice, and sucked on her swollen pearl to finally send her careening amidst a fit of gratitude and praise.

She was panting for breath when he returned to her side. Allowing her space to recover, he propped on his elbow and placed a supporting had on her stomach.

"Sorry," she gasped in between heavy breaths. She didn't see the perplexed look he gave her. "that you have to do so much prep work."

She felt the force of his scoff against her shoulder, then the soft pressure of his lips and finally cracked an eyelid. "Ridiculous," he said, then glared heavily into her satiated blue eyes. "I love it."

She could do naught but shiver in his overbearing presence, and he tried to soothe her by rubbing his large hands all over her skin. Once she returned from her high with sufficiently filled lungs, she reached for him eagerly.

"We can take a break," he offered, still panting raggedly himself. But his suggestion was shot down immediately.

She was ready. More than ready. She'd waited long enough.

"Would you like me to guide you," he asked, once he settled between her legs, "or do you prefer to issue instructions?"

She shifted more comfortably on her back, and felt the weight of his cock rest atop her lower belly. "Why don't you take the reins, and I'll cut in when necessary."

He smiled at her tactical suggestion. "A sign of a good leader, who knows when to follow."

"Shut up," she rolled her eyes, but the sparkle in his curved her mouth in amusement.

He gazed down in reverence for a long moment, and she finally gave him a questioning look when he still hadn't lined himself up.

"I am waiting for something to stop us," he explained through an adoring smile.

She could see why he'd think that, and it was why she was most eager to get this show on the road. She slid her arms around his neck, and pulled herself closer. "I'm not."

Infinitely softer than the one she'd taken before; her lips met his in a tender caress. Tongues barely touched in a respectful display. The hunger and need were there, but the appreciation they had for one another would be known first and foremost. This was not simply a matter of lust. Though it was certainly not wanting for it.

He took himself in his hand, and she felt the smooth tip brush her entrance.

"Wait!"

He froze, then allowed her to force him back as she shot up.

"I knew it," he grumbled. She kissed his cheek apologetically before she dashed to the other side of the room.

His frustration ebbed as he watched the naked woman get on her knees to rifle through her yellow pack. "I almost forgot!"

He waited curiously until she returned to him with a bottle in hand... and a towel. "Lubrication," she announced proudly, squeezing a generous amount into her palm. "My friend Yuka swears by this stuff. I promise, we're gonna get you in there."

He didn't recognize the sound that left his throat as his own when she used her palm to slather the cold substance all along his shaft. His whole body flinched, causing his sculpted core flex each delicious muscle all at once, and she squeezed her thighs together in anticipation.

"Sorry," she offered, and gave him a few good strokes to make up for the lack of warning. The way he slid through her hand was promising, and she made sure to coat the tip with a nice thick layer. She'd gone a little overboard, so she wiped some of the excess across her opening before removing the rest from with the towel she'd brought.

Getting back in position, he settled between her legs once again and grabbed the base of his cock for alignment.

Her hands rested on his broad shoulders as he used one elbow to prop himself up. Placing his head up against her entrance, he lifted his gaze just in time to catch the nervousness in hers. His genuine smile was comforting as his visage softened.

He couldn't believe he was about to leave her. He had come so close to never gazing upon her gentle features ever again. For all the fates had done to mock him, only to get him to this moment right here... The kami had favored him all along, it would seem.

He'd done so much to curse them, only to be humbled by the kindness of their divine path. Gratitude filled him, and he allowed himself to marinate in it, treasuring their gift lest he take even a second of it for granted. 

He drew himself very close, and smiled. "I have wanted this for some time."

The admission warmed her chest, but she was a little too keyed up to smile back. "Me too," she breathed instead.

Then, he claimed her lips just as tenderly as before. Unlike the last time, however, it quickly progressed to something deeper. Weeks of need and stress and denial had reached a tipping point, and now that his cock was just outside her opening, patience and restraint carefully employed before would be much harder to come by.

"Wrap your legs around me," he grunted urgently, right before going back to plunder her mouth again. She complied wordlessly, too engrossed in the slide of his sinful tongue against hers to use it for anything besides pleasure.

Channeling every ounce of his self-control, he waited until he felt her tight opening relax a bit before he dared to venture forward. He knew what awaited him inside her restrictive core, and his desire would need to be kept on a very short leash throughout the act that was about to take place. Failure to do so would have severe consequences that ran the gamut from causing her pain, to failing to bring her pleasure. Either was unacceptable.

He felt her gasp against his mouth as he forced her lower lips to spread. The tapered end of is cock eased her open as he slid himself inside of her with measured care. Her tight channel was resistant to the unfamiliar invasion, but the lube helped him ease past her defenses. Her whole body tensed, blunt nails scraping into tightly clenched fists behind his bare shoulders as she felt herself stretching around him.

His eyes slammed shut as he focused all his energy on keeping his ingress slow. If he couldn't feel the reluctance of her wary sheath to accept him, the way she stiffened and ceased to draw breath could have easily informed him of her discomfort. Once a couple inches were encompassed, he stilled his progress to take inventory.

He wanted to collectively celebrate their success. A part of him rejoiced at making it this far, despite only being fractionally absorbed. He couldn't feel her maidenhead with his inferior mortal senses, but even though not yet filled to capacity, he was well past the barrier to her virginity. She had accepted him, and now it was only a matter of how much would be too much for a first time.

But when he opened his eyes, any pleasure in their accomplishment was washed away in an instant.

Wincing in anguish and trembling; this was not the countenance of a woman who was enjoying herself one bit. Eyes screwed shut in pain not pleasure, she shied away like she was trying to block him out. Like she was trying to be anywhere else but there.

He hated the one-sidedness of this exchange. The sensation of sliding inside her heat was so incredible that it took centuries of practiced discipline just to keep himself in check. She made him feel so wonderful that he had to distract himself to keep from feeling too much pleasure at her behest, while she seemed to be doing the same just to avoid the pain he was causing.

He vowed to change that. Once she was molded to him, he would reward her for her sacrifice a thousand times over with pleasures no mortal but her would ever know. But for now, he would temper his neglected lust even more cruelly than before, and see to her every comfort.

His hips did not budge, allowing her to get accustomed to his girth as he lowered his lips to her neck. Their previous play had shown him where his touch would help release her inner tension, so he put his mouth, and fingers to work retracing his steps.

His soft lips and warm tongue played a strategic pattern along her throat. Hot kisses, and gentle nibbling at her collar bone helped tightly-coiled muscles to slacken substantially. He covered her breast with his hand and applied pressure as he licked a path up to her ear, and after a dedicated session of soothing and affirmation, he felt the death grip around his cock relax its hold just a little.

Approval and encouragement rumbled from her throat as she ran her hands through his hair, and when her participation replaced simple acquiescence, he finally gave himself permission to proceed.

Still kissing her body the way she enjoyed, he retreated slightly. Rolling his hips back allowed her further relief, only to shift forward and continue his original path. She whimpered her complaints as he stretched her further, well beyond the limits of anything she had experienced in that region. He kissed his continued apology into her heated skin when she fisted the hair in her grasp tightly.

It was a strange sensation as inch by inch, Sesshoumaru discovered new territory that had yet to be explored, even by her. As he ventured deeper, the untracked terrain became known to them both, alerting her to nerve endings never before touched, and therefore, feelings never before felt.

Those places never existed to Kagome until he found them, showed her where they were, activated them, charted them for her education. They were learning her body together in real time, and while strange and unfamiliar now; with a little tenacity, time and experience would change that.

He repeated this process, easing himself in gradually until well past halfway. His restraint and patience were commendable, but this practice in ceaseless self-denial grew more challenging with each second that passed- swallowing him deeper, wearing his resolve as temptation beckoned him from the depths beyond.

He was trembling, drenched in sweat despite moving at the speed of stop motion as perfectly trained muscles struggled to hold. The initial shock had died down, but she was still clearly uncomfortable, so he refused to incite friction until she became accustomed to his size. Or at least most of him.

He wasn't entirely fluent on the intricacies of human anatomy, but he was beginning to hit a wall in a way that was not unfamiliar to him- though demonesses' were located discernibly further back.

He was stroking her lovingly, offering support as best he could, but he'd had to refrain from putting his mouth on her any longer. The way her snug passage choked his cock was the most divine torture, and would have broken a lesser man. But even he had his limits, and even if he could control his impulse to thrust wildly into what was by far the tightest sex he had ever encountered, it wouldn't take much to make him spill himself inside her prematurely.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked rigidly, after what felt like an eternity.

"No," she admitted through her tense grimace, "sorry." 

She'd been avoiding his gaze throughout this exercise, and for the sake of longevity, he had been forced to ignore her flushed, panting features as well. This was supposed to be about the two of them enjoying one another, combining their strengths and exposing vulnerabilities. Not pushing each other out of their thoughts completely.

"Woman, stop apologizing." He moved to brush her bangs aside, and was pleased to win her attention in the process. "We have all the time in the world. I am at your service." She smiled at his sweet assurances, and that compelled him to offer some more. He cradled her cheek tenderly. "I am not going anywhere. I will wait forever."

She laughed, and the action caused her to clamp around him even tighter, making him clench his jaw.

"I'm sure that would be frustrating," she sympathized as she watched him close his eyes tight.

"You always frustrate me."

He looked like he was in more pain that she was, and the guilt caused her muscles to clench. This had turned out to be a much more stressful encounter than she had expected, and she was starting to wonder if the ache of being stretched beyond her limits would ever go away.

Sensing – and feeling – her anxieties bolster, Sesshoumaru resumed his soothing caress around her shoulders and chest.

"Relax," he whispered lowly, before chancing a few more passionate kisses beneath her jaw. She did, and he pulled away, and for the first time since entering her, really took her in.

She was so different from anything he ever wanted. Two months ago, he couldn't even fathom taking this peculiar woman to bed, let alone going to such extremes to accommodate her. He had never endured so much in the pursuit of a bedmate, and would not have begun to entertain laying together without the implicit purpose of sating desires as rigorously as possible. But that was never his goal with her.

Well, maybe at first. But sexual climax was no longer the gratification he sought. It was not the promise of physical completion that guided him here, and it was not what drove him now. It was that distinction that cemented in his mind something he'd long suspected, yet refused to examine.

Now, looking down at her with reverence, he couldn't imagine ever wanting anything different.

He lowered his smiling lips until they touched her own, and let the acceptance in her kiss fill him with pure contentment. _That_ was the completion he sought, and the urge to give her the same wonderful feeling was all that drove him now.

Drifting past her cheek, warm lips brushed her ear in a way that made her tingle all over, right before he whispered something in them.

But instead of the peace of true completion, she stiffened beneath his imposing frame. Fingers curled anxiously into his shoulders, and when he looked down at her again with half-lidded happiness, a displeased scowl was waiting to greet him.

"You have really bad timing," she told him in clear annoyance.

He was confused, but undeterred. He knew the world right now, and he knew he was correct. "What better time for such things?"

"Any other time."

His smile finally fell away at her genuine upset, and mild frustration set in. He shook his head slightly. "Every time I think I understand you mortals, you prove me wrong again." It baffled him how difficult this humanity thing was to master. He'd never had this much trouble picking anything up in his whole long life.

"Why does it upset you?" he wondered. "I thought it is what you wanted."

Frustrated herself, Kagome turned her head to the side. She couldn't exactly avoid the guy at the moment, but he was just too close. "I want it to be real, not appeasement."

"You accuse me of deceit?" He sounded offended.

"I'm just saying," she explained testily, still looking away, "being inside me kind of incentivizes generosity."

He was silent for a moment, in which he didn't know how to respond. 

"Please," he finally intoned, "do not insult me." The cold demand would have been chilling, if not for the hurt it so obviously harbored.

It made Kagome return her attention to him, and the pain she saw made her chest twinge with guilt, and doubt her own assessment. But she vowed to never let herself be duped again, just because she really wanted something to be true.

"You said you didn't know what love was."

"Correct," he affirmed, "and now I do."

She knew he wasn't lying, especially about something like this. But if he thought he felt that way just because he liked having sex with her, that was not the kind of love she wanted. Sex clouded people's judgment, and if that was what it took to get such a confession from him, then it wasn't real.

She didn't need him to love her. Sex was supposed to be the byproduct of love, not the manufacturer.

But she couldn't be mad at him. He wasn't trying to gaslight her. He most likely couldn't tell the difference, and he was no different from most humans in that respect. It actually boded well for him. Not so much her, though.

"Maybe try again when you're not buried inside me."

She'd cooled her temper, but he could tell she was still unhappy – the opposite of what he was going for. It brought him down a bit from his own cloud as well.

"Alright," he said softly, confused, but unwilling to press her any further at the moment.

His disappointment frustrated her all over again, but she couldn't tell if it was more with herself for causing it, or him for causing her to cause it. It only added to, and paralleled her frustrations with their current physical difficulties as well.

She just wanted to be done with it, or at least be distracted from how she was feeling.

"Start moving," she ordered coolly. Her agitation was palpable, but her demand only fostered concern.

"You are not ready."

He would love nothing more than to finally start fucking her, but he wasn't even to the hilt yet. He wouldn't take it that far tonight, but he was intimately aware of her tension at the moment. He could feel her every heartbeat pulsing around his shaft, and even the slightest adjustment caused it to race. He wished he could say it was from pleasure, but all he had to do was cast one look her way to see pain was the culprit- only made worse that while she was hurting, he would be deriving physical enjoyment.

What kind of monster would she see in a man who could find pleasure while inflicting pain? How could she not doubt his love in that case?

"You said you would do what I told you," she reminded hotly. He frowned as his promise was thrown back at him. "Just move. Please."

There was a challenge in her eyes that dared him to defy her, and he only held them for a moment before preparing to acquiesce.

Gripping his shoulders for purchase, she released a low hiss as he began to withdraw, before bracing with closed eyes for the inevitable return.

He kept his thrusts shallow at first, the slightest rocking motion as he watched her face for severe discomfort. Guilt coursed through him at the constant clenching of her jaw, her muscles, her eyelids, and occasional distressed sounds. But he was slow, and careful, and prepared to stop at her word.

The lube had him sliding wonderfully through her tight walls; each pass down, then back up just a little deeper than before had him seeing stars, despite the torturous pace he refused to deviate from.

Forcing his way through unconquered flesh over and again urged him to stake claim- dig deep, plant his seed so nothing else could grow. Despite his misgivings about her comfort, instinct old as life itself _strongly_ encouraged him to validate his very existence, and his worthiness to continue it. To make a case for himself and prove his strength by fighting for his right to live, and if he could not, it did feel like he might actually die.

But as his shallow pumping wore on, he felt the miko claws digging crescents into his shoulders begin to slowly relax. Her tense frame softened, no longer bracing for impact, and even her poorly restrained anguish melted out of her façade.

She was getting accustomed to him, just as they had hoped, and it encouraged him to bolden his plundering, if only slightly.

He incrementally worked his way back to the middle mark, but slowed back to his original pace when an experimental increase saw her tension return. He vowed to go no deeper, simply kept a steady rhythm while honing in on her every response- on alert for anything that would betray suffering.

His eyes were clenched shut by this point to focus on retaining control, but with each retreat her virgin core squeezed his cock like it never wanted him to leave. He was well aware that was not the case, however. He would not take a shove for an embrace, as her pure body worked hard to repel, and keep out the beast who sought to defile it.

It was like her womb knew he was demon, doing all it could to prevent this desecration from occurring. Though, were he truly some imposing brute out for his own gratification, the effort would only see to a quicker release. It felt fucking amazing, and only his love for her held him back to account for her own pleasure.

But they were clearly a long way from that, and that was being optimistic. He, however, was losing the struggle against his inferior human reproductive system. She was no longer in pain, and thank the kami for that. But he didn't need to open his eyes to feel how uncomfortable this still was for her.

He was at a loss. He had absolutely no experience in this. Demon bitches were built to receive a lustful, violent beast- to crave, and find pleasure with him. They seek strength, and longevity. Dominance. Power. Their bodies were crafted to endure such displays, desire them. Males are encouraged to exhibit the extent of his capabilities, is even measured by his ability to do so.

A youkai who received him this way would be immediately discarded as too weak to bear his pups. But she wasn't a youkai, and now, neither was he. He would learn the ways of mortal men, and he would embrace it.

Sesshoumaru was panting heavily, his disciplined form poised above as he continued to penetrate carefully. She'd been quiet for a while, so he chanced a look to gauge her progress. He glanced her strained features just in time to see a lone tear rolling down her flushed cheek, and instantly stopped moving.

"Kagome?" he tried gently. She didn't open her eyes, so he waited patiently.

"Please finish," she finally whispered.

She couldn't see him frown at her. He was reluctant to deny her, but the unseemly request defied another of his commandments.

"I will not," he told her. "You have yet to be satisfied."

"I can't," she declared, her burgeoning grimace forced her ducts to tear. "I just want to be done now."

"Then we will stop." He began to pull back, but her nails grasped so tightly his skin broke. "I cannot find pleasure when you are in pain."

"No." Finally opening her eyes, he found determination in the stubborn woman's plea. "I need you to finish. Please, just do it."

"Why?" he asked suspiciously, assessing her with concern. "Is this about my curse?" Was that her true intention after all? The notion displeased him, but she shook her head.

"No, it isn't." He'd never been so close to her, and from there, he could find no indication of deception. But he still eyed her warily. "It's just... a pride thing, okay? I need you to do it."

Obviously conflicted, he looked ready to refuse again. Thinking quickly, Kagome pulled him to her, and eagerly ran her tongue along the opening of his ear. All the air left his lungs as she lapped over his secret erogenous zone with her slick appendage, licking feverishly and sloppily before taking the lobe between her teeth.

She grazed the shell, sucking on it and using her tongue more suggestively as an involuntary moan left his lips. He was panting again, and she felt relief when his hips finally started rocking just as they were before. He kept his movements controlled, but finally allowed himself to revel in sensation.

He'd ignored the way her soft, slick channel caressed each one of his tender nerve endings so exquisitely, for in these sensitive human bodies, all it took was desire and deprivation, and he had both in spades. But at her behest, he let his defenses fall around him and finally embraced the tight drag of wet, hot flesh.

Discipline and denial melted uselessly away as he laid down his arms in a rare show of surrender. Instinct and instant gratification were released from their confinements, and given the keys to the castle for a respite- and they knew from experience that the freedom would be all too brief. So they would make the most of it.

He felt control slip away the second he relaxed his iron grip, and if felt to strange, so wrong to not even make a play for it as it fell through his fingers. Strange and wrong, but more amazing than he could have possibly predicted.

When was the last time he gave up on anything? When was the last time anyone sacrificed for his pleasure? It shouldn't be this way, and he would lament it when it was through. But as long as he was here, he would let himself get lost in a rare, blissful moment of self-indulgence.

She continued working his ear with her mouth as he pumped into her gently, and it wasn't long before she felt him stiffen in her arms. A shuddering expulsion of heavy breath signified his release, and then she felt the hot liquid spilling deep in her core.

He did not allow himself to linger as soon as the sensation passed. He refused to revel in her discomfort, so he withdrew carefully, followed by a portion of his thick seed. He'd denied himself to seek her pleasure, and she'd done the same for him. But as bitter as it tasted, there was a comradery about it too.

He was by her side in an instant, gathering her to him and assessing her for damage. But as he studied her for discontent, she was looking for something in him as well.

The intense scrutiny confused him as he watched himself be assessed. Eager eyes roved over every part of him and she looked like she was waiting for something. When at last her face fell in disappointment, he felt a twinge in his gut that he had, in fact, let her down. Though in light of recent events, it was perfectly understandable.

"You're not turning demon," she correctly observed, and understanding dawned.

He wasn't mad. He knew it was not her motivation for laying with him. But she was a hopeful little thing.

Well, he had hopes too, and after today, he hoped she could finally put aside any notions of changing him back. Though, if this was her only plan for him, he saw no harm in repeating the attempt once she got used to him. For scientific purposes.

"Of course not," he replied, pulling her to him. "I am not yet through with you." Gathered in his arms, he held her to his chest as they lay together in silence.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do now- what humans did after rutting. So in this, he was willing to let her take the lead. Though, he supposed, she hadn't any idea what lovers did or said to each other any more than he.

But he knew what he wanted. He wanted to stay just like this, with her, for as long as she would allow it.

Minds drifted separately, letting the gravity of their new intimacy settle in, pouring over the bearings on their futures more so than dissecting the act itself. Large, rough hands stroked across her naked back as she listened to his heart thump wildly beneath her ear.

He stared up way past the modest hut ceiling above him as he absentmindedly caressed the human he now held. He wasn't quite sure what the old him thought might happen should something like this ever occur. He probably thought the world itself would come to an end, or at least be changed irreparably.

But no swine were sailing through the air, no igloos where hellfire had been. He bedded a human, and the world was still standing. Nothing had changed.

Other than everything.

The world looked immeasurably different through his new human eyes, but sex with a mortal was not the catalyst. The brave new world he saw had changed long before that, otherwise, he would not be in this bed in the first place.

No, everything was different, but nothing had changed. Nothing except him.

The world had always been this way, but she made it so he could finally see it properly. Perhaps these dulled mortal senses were not inferior after all. It was his youkai sight that blinded him. He'd never seen so clearly in his entire life.

"Is it really different?" she finally asked, breaking the contemplative silence as she tilted her chin to him. At his quirked brow, she clarified. "Your..."

That color on her cheeks referred to only one thing. She still couldn't say it, even now.

"You act like you have not seen it," he teased. "Of course, I had you so dazed with pleasure that night; I can see why you do not recall."

"No, I never got a look," she said. "The water was waist deep, and I..."

"Was too fogged with lust to see straight?" He was smirking as he raked his hand through her thick midnight locks.

She glared flatly, but he felt inclined to remind her of that, especially after his failure tonight. But he quickly relented.

"There is a slight size difference, which favors my demon form," he explained. "And then, of course, my stripe."

"Stripe?" she perked up, curiosity causing her gaze to drift. "It's on your...?"

He liked her attention on his cock, even limp and saturated as it was. As she studied it, he reached over for the towel she'd brought, and wiped the remaining lubrication from himself.

Then, he snatched her hand, and held it lovingly as he looked deep into her eyes.

"It begins here," he informed her proudly, mildly amused as he lowered her hand to the patch of skin just above the base of his cock. He seized her two fingers, and drew her a map. "and runs down the entirety of my length." She let him drag her fingers all the way to his tip, before stopping and holding her there. She returned her gaze to him, and was greeted with a devilish smile. "and comes back up, all the way to here."

Twisting their hands, he drew an identical path back up the underside of his shaft, stopping before he reached his testicles. He did not prolong her embarrassment, and allowed her to reclaim her hand in relatively short order.

"Is it the same color as the rest?"

"Yes."

"Is it..." she floundered, "more _sensitive_ than the others?"

"Yes," he confirmed, "though that could simply be on account of the strategic location."

That certainly made sense. From the look he gave, she ventured it was a nice little perk he once enjoyed. She felt bad all over again for taking that from him.

She knew he didn't want her dwelling on it, but it was going to take some time. She would make it up to him, she vowed, even if he didn't know it.

"It makes my stamina in that form even more impressive," he gloated, then grinned. "Especially on the tongue."

Talk of such things easily brought her back to their previous activities, and her eyes sparkled mischievously. He hadn't let her finish him last time, but even though he ultimately found release, he'd done more than enough to her with his mouth to warrant a second go.

She knew he'd held back for her tonight, so he deserved to have a little fun.

She shifted beside him and started placing kisses on that amazing torso of his. Drifting lower, she even enjoyed the taste of his sweat as she swirled her tongue through ridges of taut stomach muscles. He hummed appreciatively as her objective became clear.

"I was not insinuating-"

"Are you objecting?" she quickly countered.

He was no match for her challenging stare. "No."

"Then shut up."

His limp cock grew to half-mast as she gently stroked the spongy tissue. In this state, she could actually fit the whole thing in her mouth, so she eagerly jumped at the opportunity.

Soft, moist heat engulfed him, and he made a whining noise as she twirled her tongue and sucked on him in his entirety. With a placating hand on his lower abdomen, she brought the other up to fondle his sack, smoothly gliding her palm against the delicate area.

Unprepared, his startled breathing could be heard above her, and before long he had outgrown her orifice once again. She took pride in that, liking that she could get him back to full excitement so soon after his last orgasm.

Even his grunting was sexy as she practiced opening her throat, and she vowed that one day she would work her way up to taking him all the way down fully hard. For now though, she used her firm lips to form a tight circle around his girth, and worked on her speed. Since he couldn't get the friction she was sure he wished he could during sex, she was going to try and make up for it here.

"At least you don't have to worry about my fangs getting you," she teased, not able to resist peeking up at his enraptured form. She loved reducing the refined, stoic warlord to a convulsing mess.

"You can bite me if you wish," he managed, then cracked an eyelid. "I may enjoy it."

She pumped her fist around him, sliding her spit all along his shaft as he thrusted into her palm. "You're so weird," she scoffed, and he leveled a brow. "But I like it. I'm weird too." Something silent passed between them as they shared a lingering smile.

Comfort. Acceptance. Enjoyment. It was always there before, but in the wake of their more intimate relationship, there was something different in the exchange that was lost on neither of them. The first discernable change, and it felt good.

She shifted to put her mouth on him again, but his firm grip around her arms quickly relieved her of her position. He pulled her effortlessly up his body, and secured her against his chest in an iron hold.

"But you didn't cum yet."

Touching his forehead to hers, his eyes gleamed. "Your turn."

In one effortless motion, he flipped their positions, and she was on her back beneath him once more. Her words of protest died on _his_ tongue when he captured her lips, crashing them against his in a searing kiss that reached all the way down to her toes.

Despite the way her fingers tangled in his hair as she urged him closer, the way her hips rocked needfully into his own as she clung to him desperately, her body demanded things of her – of him – that her mind had yet to remedy. The ache had always been there, but newly awakened need raged so deep inside her core it felt like her very soul had been set aflame.

She needed him to quell those fires as only he could, by stoking them further, bringing them so high that the world burned down around them and nothing else remained. Only he could reach that far, touch her so deeply and tend to scorching heat that he alone created.

But when she felt his intimidating shaft burning hot against her hip- so large and so impossibly hard as it throbbed against her tender flesh- the imposing threat reminded her of how unequipped her small body was to accommodate such an invasion. He felt her tense beneath him, even as her swollen nether lips dampened his thigh in preparation, and he released her from his kiss to place his mouth beside her ear.

"Trust me," he whispered, then pulled back. Eyes half-mast with lust held fear as well, but she nodded, pleasing him immensely, and earned a smile that tightened her nipples into firm, sharp peaks.

She did trust him. Not only to mitigate the pain, but to lead her to pleasure as well. It was there, just beyond her reach, but with him as her guide, she knew they would find the way together. Her confidence in him allowed her to surrender her doubts, and she felt her anxieties melt away under the heat of his touch.

His lips slanted over hers once more as he rolled his hips hard. She wrapped her legs around him, making him groan into her mouth when she ground her slippery cunt into his lower abdomen. As he thrust forward, she could feel his stiff cock sliding against her ass, and she had to squeeze her thighs around him even tighter to try and relieve the aching in between.

She threw her head back to moan when he started kissing below her jaw and dragging his warm, wicked lips down the column of her throat. The way she bared it to him so openly had his instincts in an uproar. Though his beast was long gone, centuries of tradition and training could not be completely forgotten, and he appeased his dormant dog demon spirit by grazing his blunt teeth along her shoulder.

His tongue sought her pulse point, lapping and tracing along her skin until he could finally detect her heartbeat. He sealed his mouth around the area, stroking firmly with the tip and relished the rapid increase of her pulse rate. He sucked, and nibbled the area, lamenting his dulled senses that prevented him from detecting the spike in her scent. There had always been a sweetness to her blood, and he was certain that this close, and with the added spice of her arousal would have been enough to make him salivate.

He dragged his teeth over her collar bone, making her fingers curl in his hair as she arched deliciously into the contact. He kissed his way down her chest, leaving a hot, wet trail that tingled in his wake. She was panting heavily, full chest heaving up and down beneath him until she felt warm lips wrap firmly around her tightened peak.

She cried out, squeezing him tighter as she pressed herself to him even harder, grinding her heated flesh wantonly into his sculpted body as she shamelessly pled for more.

"Ah... Sessh-"

His chest rumbled, something resembling a growl vibrating against her breast in some beautiful mixture of satisfaction and reprimand. He sought to tie her tongue by using his furiously, making the sensitive nerve endings grow harder and tighter in his mouth.

The other was not forgotten as a rough pinch between his fingers was quick to reminded the neglected flesh. His other hand kept busy as well, stroking her ass in his wide palm before rubbing down her thigh to encourage the death grip he was pretzeled in.

He continued his journey down her body, drawing back to lavish attention on the underside of her breast as he continued tweaking and pulling roughly at the other. She was burning deep between her thighs- throbbing from the apex all the way to her core as her fluids covered his stomach in unsated need. Her pussy was weeping for him, crying tears of frustration that the unbearable desire to be filled had yet to be quenched.

A deep kiss on her sternum caused her clitoris to pulse, and she felt his lips drag downward as he retreated toward his goal. But she jerked forward, arresting his head in her hands as she cradled his face, and he lifted his hooded eyes to hers in quiet curiosity.

His sweaty bangs could not veil his hunger, only fueling hers and making her need more urgent. She tried to pull him to her, but he didn't budge.

"Please," she whined, making his cock jump, "I need you now."

She looked like she was in pain as he held her gaze, unmoving. But he was determined, so he broke free of her grasp, and continued on his southbound path. Falling back in defeat, she whimpered as he adjusted her legs around his neck, but her anguish was short-lived.

His hot tongue speared through her folds, parting her lips and finding her swollen pearl without delay. She wailed as he played with the sensitive ball of nerves, licking and sucking with the perfect pressure until she was already at the brink of her release. And then, she was seeing stars.

Waves of pleasure crashed down upon her, rolling through her form as a voice that sounded like hers was echoing off the walls. By the time she was done trembling, he was back, hovering over her with a smug smirk resting atop his saturated chin.

She was about to scream at him for not coming up to fill her like she wanted. Because even though she finished, that place deep inside her remained unsatisfied, and now ached even worse than before.

But before she was able, he stole her lips in a stifling kiss. "I told you to trust me." And then, a quick nip on her shoulder caused her to yelp.

Before she could retaliate, she felt the brush of his hardened manhood tickling her opening, and she stilled. His large hand coaxed her to wrap her legs around him again, and wordlessly, she complied.

Her arms flew around his shoulders in reflex, and he felt her tense once again. Another affirming kiss was meant as a distraction as he coated his tip in her juices, and pressed forward.

He went in much easier this time. The initial entry pinched, but the sensation of him breaking past her opening had a sharp thrill to it that wasn't there before. The feeling of being forced apart, and overly full was less prominent, and nerve endings she was now aware of seemed to come alive at his familiar touch.

His shaft glided smoothly along her inner walls, and he was able to fill himself halfway without the same resistance as before. He was no longer the intruder, but a familiar presence along a familiar path, and the uncertainty and danger he'd brought with him last time were not his passengers for this journey.

And now that his first release was behind him and he'd endured the shock of her fabulous grip for the first time; his control would be nowhere near as difficult to command. His instincts could be kept reasonably at bay, and it did not appear he would be getting any surprise visits from his beast or swells of dangerous youki in the throes of passion with her. It was a bittersweet relief.

With his willpower reinforced, he could now lavish her with physical attention beyond what he had previously bestowed. He'd mapped every inch of her supple skin, traced and tracked each point of preference and memorized her responses by rank.

With a clearer mind, he put his tactical cunning to work in its most revered role yet, and descended on her unsuspecting body like an unmanned castle full of riches. He attacked with military precision in the most uneven assault he'd ever been a party to. The poor girl never saw him coming, and he was merciless in his pillaging.

His hands teased her breasts and thighs as he nibbled along her collarbone. From the bend of her shoulder to the shell of her ear, and everything in between were toyed with unsparingly by his capable lips and tongue.

The artful diversion served to heighten excitement for sensitive nerve endings, stoking fires of arousal, and relaxing unwanted tension while causing it to coil in all the right places.

The sinful drag of his steel length that had once been a painful burden gradually became something tolerable. And all too soon, after some familiarity and time to adjust, it was no longer even nearly enough.

She was used to him now, accustomed. He'd changed her irreparably and there was no going back. She needed more of him now- everything. She didn't know how she ever did without him in her restrictive little world, and his arc became complete as she realized that now; she could never let him go.

He felt her vice around him loosen - kami, still so fucking tight - as he manipulated her body. Solving her riddles and learning all its secrets as he worked his magic off of instinct alone. Brain deferred to gut, who referred him over to his heart, and the resulting synchronization had him in complete alignment for the first time since he could recall.

They seemed to steer him true, because as her body opened for him like a springtime bloom, graciously inviting him deeper; her wails of pleasure prevented her from confirming her burgeoning need, so she let her desires be known by shifting her dormant hips to encourage him, to try and take more that he was currently offering.

By the time he was buried to the hilt, her whole body had curled around him, trying to pull him deeper as her eyes rolled back in her skull. As her head hung back helplessly, he rested his forehead on her clavicle, panting heavily against her flushed skin as she had him completely sheathed. He felt her heartbeat pulsing as she stretched around him, quivering, along with the rest of her as he held himself in place.

As he lifted his head, she did the same, and he rose up until their foreheads barely touched.

"Better?" he panted. A nod was his reply, and a smile graced his lips as he kept his eyes locked with hers.

He rolled his hips back slowly, the drag of her heated flesh across his cock was enough to make him shudder. Her mouth hung on its hinges until only an inch of his massive length remained, and then he pressed forward.

He grit his teeth as he parted her soft flesh, and heady moan escaped her as he buried himself all the way to the base. Blunt nails scraped his skin, and he enjoyed the sensation as he felt the head of his cock hit the back of her cervix.

She squeezed him tighter, held on for dear life as he retreated again, and soon he was moving in and out of her at an enjoyable pace.

The force of him prying her open, hitting her back wall had once been too much. Now, it didn't seem to be enough as she screamed and pleaded for him to plunder deeper, and harder, and faster than before.

He was pumping inside her, slamming against her womb with bone-shattering force. The sound of skin hitting reverberated off the walls with every impact, his hips moving at a fevered pace that could rival his demon speed.

They were a mass of sweaty, tangled limbs as they panted breathlessly for air. Cradled in her hips, he planted hot, open-mouthed kisses along her collar bone while rubbing his hand over her chest. Fondling roughly, as she scratched up his back, breaking skin and goading him on, begging for more.

The steady pumps of his stiff cock plunged a little deeper at her request, touching more of her than ever before, discovering new land and activating sensations with the invasive new pressure. But it wasn't enough. There was more, she could feel it, and phantom aches that begged to be soothed screamed to be discovered, given life and shown what they've been missing for far too long.

His bangs tickled her throat as his method drove her to madness, but her meager rutting motions were not getting the right returns.

Frustrated and flustered, tiny hands grabbed his sides right above where her lush thighs locked him to her, and tried to pull him nearer, to make him take more.

His pace had increased as her reactions became more favorable, but apparently that wasn't enough.

He delved even deeper, as per her insistence, and watched carefully for signs of pain as he forced his way through the back of her canal.

He was buried balls-deep when he felt the sensitive top head of his cock come in contact with something foreign. Firm, but soft, and slightly curved in shape, it sent a jolt of pleasure back through his searing erection, down to his fingers and toes. He shuddered violently, forcing him to stop his oral assault to process the euphoric tingle the contact gave him.

He'd never experienced such a thing. Demonesses did not have any such disruption within them that he had ever felt before, and he'd been fairly thorough in his research.

Was this a human deviation? Or was it just her? Whatever it was, it appeared to have a stifling effect on the miko as well, for at the moment he made contact; she cried out her approval while she reflexively drew him nearer.

Experimentally, he rutted forward to try and recreate the pleasurable feeling, to successful results.

Panting roughly, the two shared meaningful eye contact before a wicked smirk graced his handsome features.

Withdrawing further, he hit the spot with sharper force, and it only increased the pleasure they felt together. He repeated this new move a few more times in succession, carefully gauging how much the poor miko could take, lest he get out of hand.

But she seemed to be faring just fine; accepting his forceful thrusts with zeal as he pounded into her core.

His caution was thrown to the wind, however, when he filled her to the brim with every last inch of him, and she begged him to venture deeper still. Unfortunately, he was all out of length, but he appeared to have found the back at any rate. To compensate, he started slamming the head of his cock harder and harder against the wall he'd reached, pointedly aiming for the pleasure button he'd found with every strategic stroke.

It was positioned toward the top, so he attempted to angle his hips just so that he could make the most perfect impact. She seemed to be enduring him just fine now, so he felt comfortable increasing his pace even more. From slow, to steady, to an up-tempo rate, he continued to piston as cries for more became unintelligible in the midst of her pleasured keening.

Until suddenly, he stopped.

Breathless and confused, she allowed him to wrap his arms around her middle and scoop her up against him while he shifted to his knees. They were still connected as he sat back on his heels and reached behind him to unhook her ankles.

She trusted him to hold her up, but gripped nonetheless as he maneuvered her legs carefully around him. With a knee planted outside each of his thighs; Kagome found herself suddenly straddling the ex-youkai lord between hers.

His strong hands on her back kept her balanced, but recently discarded anxieties came roaring back the second she realized what he intended.

He felt her tight sheath grip his fully buried cock even harder, and he stiffened around her, grasping her to him tightly and resting his forehead against her chest.

He regained his composure before things got away from him, and pulled back to address her new fears.

"This way will grant you more control of your movements," he explained in gravelly tones, looking up from her heaving chest into startled blue eyes. "You may use me however you wish."

Plus this way, gravity could impale her even deeper, if she so desired. He decided he would do well to give Kagome control for the time being, before her permissive nature saw him go overly wild with abandon.

She seemed uncertain still, but his gaze demanded trust, so she gave it. As he slowly leaned back, her knees lifted off the floor, causing her to sink down onto his shaft even further.

A long groan in unison commemorated the event as his sturdy hands gripped her hips to help keep her steady. Both heads bowed forward until nearly touching, and long black locks fell around his face like a curtain.

His broad shoulders served as her leverage and anchor as she let his imposing hardness drive through her like a pike. She got used to the pressure of being so incredibly full of him while mindlessly running her fingers up his neck and into his hair. He sighed at the tingling feeling her touch left, sliding one hand sensually along her thigh while another went to her back for support.

Her soft, naked skin against his was such a beautiful contrast. All that he wasn't, could never be was alongside him regardless, right there with him. And he would be everything she couldn't, or wouldn't. She didn't need to, for she had him.

She couldn't be hard or harsh or cruel, but at times, the world called for it all the same. Sometimes, such things were required. But not from her. She need never worry herself, because he would be there to do what she was far too good to be tainted by. She could stay pure with him by her side.

And he couldn't be soft or sweet or kind, but the world called for that too. Even he seemed to call for it, it would appear. As a warlord bred to lead and protect through battle and bloodshed, he could not produce them himself. Such things would not come from him, nor were they meant for him to enjoy.

Or, so he'd thought.

With Kagome, he seemed to stumble upon a loophole in the natural order. Maybe such things could be for him after all.

Feeling indulgent, Sesshoumaru leaned forward to pleasure her breasts with his mouth, and himself with her flavor. He sucked on her excited nipples, licking and biting them softly as she screamed her delight. She arched into the treatment, falling forward with a sigh as his hands moved to her waist once again.

With a fluid thrust upward, he encouraged her to rise a bit, holding her suspended so he could partially withdraw from her heat. Long, languid rolls of his hips helped to make that wonderful friction and set them a steady pace.

She let him slid out of her, and with his support, she lowered down on him again. He hit the right spot with flourish, and that satisfying spark rocked them both to their core.

With a grip on his shoulders, she found her rhythm. Starting slow and careful, soon he was rising urgently to greet her, flexing his obliques and abdominals as she bounced forcefully in his lap, landing harder and faster with each heavy drop.

The impact he made inside her felt amazing, like nothing she'd ever experienced. But though she could feel something trying to build, it was not the same as the powerful climaxes she had in the past. This was a different way to go about things, and she didn't know quite how to chase it down.

Both drenched heavily in sweat, slick skin slid into each other as they paused their vigorous coupling to pant and heave dramatically.

"You recall where my stripe began?" he asked raggedly, looking down at the exhausted woman in his arms. She nodded, and heard his sticky tongue peel away from the roof of his mouth as he swallowed thickly.

"Grind yourself into me there."

When she looked confused, he coaxed her back a bit. Still seated completely, her legs spread wide around his hips and parted her outer lips atop him. From there, her swollen nub stood tall and proud between them, shocking her with the size at the moment. Her clit had never looked that big before, but then, she'd never had such a view.

With a ghosting drag of his finger, his touch made Kagome shudder around him, eliciting a grin.

Using the same digit, he stroked the patch of his skin above the base of his cock on his pubic mound, and Kagome nodded in understanding.

He gathered her forward, adjusting her just right and helped her to grind her swollen bundle of nerves against the hardness of his torso.

She moaned at the familiar sensation of clitoral stimulation, and tried to grind again in a way more similar to how she was used to. Watching her and seeing what she was attempting, Sesshoumaru angled himself to aid her in getting just the right slide of skin to create the perfect pressure.

As she rolled her hips to stimulate her sensitive nub, his hands on her waist helped her apply more force. Soon, he was able to coordinate with her rocking so he could resume penetrating without messing up her stride.

He watched mesmerized as she rubbed the stripe he'd given into where his should be, and imagined what it would have felt like if he still had the sensitivity of his marking.

She threw her head back as she arched into him blissfully, and he watched with pride as the typically self-conscious woman threw her cares to the wind and lost herself in sensation. As she stimulated herself against him, he drove into her with wild passion. The position had her tits bouncing in his face with each sharp impact, and he took full advantage by clamping on with his lips.

She cried as he used his firm tongue to aid in overloading all her sensitive areas at once, and he panted noisily in exertion as he moistened her breasts with his mouth.

Their pace became fervent and erratic as he stabbed her with his cock, and his lips drifted sloppily to her throat while she continued fucking him. He held her tighter, keeping her secure in his hold while he banged their bodies together violently. He growled something against her throat that sounded like her name, and when she dipped her chin in response, he seized her lips possessively.

She gripped his shoulders painfully as her breathing began to shorten, and excitement buzzed beneath every inch of his skin. This time it was pleasure that drove her pulse to new heights, and his own as he felt each strong beat of her heart from within. As she approached the edge of her release, he zeroed in on his brilliant discovery way in the back of her passage. He rammed into her there several times in rapid succession with as much force as he could muster.

The whisper of his name was his final warning, and he nuzzled his cheek into her jaw.

Her rocking motions sped to meet his feverishly, until she finally stiffened against him. Only then did he begin to slow, embracing her tighter, and prepared to hold her to him as she rode out her explosive release. Eyes screwed shut, mouth formed in a silent scream... and then a real scream followed, tearing from her throat with pleasured incredulity, like she couldn't believe how fucking good he made her feel.

But she had best believe it. In fact, she had best get used to it, he vowed, for she could expect that from him regularly. Sesshoumaru smirked tiredly, yet victoriously against her shoulder as he careened toward his own perfect ending.

As waves of pleasure rolled through her, one after another crashing mercilessly throughout her entire body, he felt her constrict around him, and he rutted into her again. One last good pump against his favorite spot combined with her vice grip sent him cascading over that cliff right along with her.

Though his body had been satisfied the last time he finished inside her, the unaccompanied journey left his spirit anything but. This time, as she convulsed around him in completion, he lost himself entirely. His whole body trembled as he came while enjoying the warmth of her embrace. Face hidden against her flushed skin; he took the weight off his weary head and rested his damp brow on her shoulder.

A long, shuddering breath released against her clavicle as he held himself still in her arms, and let the world around them fall. In no rush to leave after his hasty retreat last time; he reveled in all of the aftershocks as he spent every last drop of himself inside her welcoming heat.

Their chests dramatically heaved as she collapsed against him, going limp in his inescapable hold. Dangling uselessly around him, she was dependent on his strength to hold her upright as his powerful thighs kept hers spread. She remained impaled on his softening length as his head bowed against her shoulder while the world stopped spinning and his senses slowly returned.

As she came down from her towering high, trembling fingers sought him. She raked affectionately through his sweat-slicked strands, a tender touch that affirmed her presence and held him nearer still. She cradled him against her breast as she felt the hot, heavy puffs along her skin, and felt impulsive.

Chancing a look down at him buried in the crook of her neck, still recovering as he struggled to fill his lungs, she dipped her head low. Small hands slid through the layer of sweat on his back as she placed her lips right beside his ear.

She felt him still as the softly uttered declaration sailed through the hairsbreadth between them. Prying his perspired forehead away from the comfort she offered, he pulled back slightly to seek her gaze. He took in her flushed features, still panting lightly from exertion as she offered him a tender smile.

Regarding her thoughtfully, his lips finally quirked downward.

"Hn. This One sees what you mean."

His displeasure was unexpected, and Kagome furrowed her brow.

"What?"

"The claim feels empty when offered in the influence of pleasure."

"Huh?"

All caught up on breath, he gently removed his sated cock from her center, and took care to place her on the bed. She propped up curiously on her elbows, and watched him locate the towel to remove the sticky fluids he'd accumulated.

"You are reeling from the pleasure I gave you," he explained. "It could very possibly be clouding your judgment." With himself cleaned off, he took the liberty of returning to perform the same service on her. "No male has ever done that for you, and perhaps that knowledge subconsciously compels you form an attachment to ensure it is repeated." She found herself unable to respond as he continued to wipe down her inner thighs, and her apex dutifully. "Such bonds are superficial, and lust driven."

"Hey!" she finally said, and he lifted an eyebrow. "Are you saying I'm superficial?"

"No." He tossed the soiled towel aside. "Your desire for me, however, may very well be."

Crawling back over, he stretched out beside her and sought to gather her to him. She resisted, however, when he threw his arm around her and coaxed her closer.

"No, I mean it." She grabbed his bicep as she twisted to face him. "I love you. I've loved you for a while, I just wasn't ready to tell you."

But now that it was out, she was determined to have him know it. Blue eyes begged him to believe her as she tried to think of any way she could possibly convince him.

His doubting gaze roved over her a moment, until he finally smiled.

"Sex gives you confidence," he observed.

Relieved at his apparent acceptance, she smiled, and relaxed her grip on his arm. He used the new freedom to stroke the curve of her hip.

"Yes."

"Hn. Good." This time, she didn't resist when he pulled her to lay on his chest. "As it should. You have much to be confident of."

"Thanks," she replied, shifting on him more comfortably. "So do you."

"I know."

She grinned at his arrogance, but even more at the teasing smile that accompanied it. Even human, he had a lot to be boastful of, but she wondered if he didn't enjoy playing it up for the crowd just a little.

"Even without a cool stripe," she added, and glanced down at his waist.

He could see her small patch of curls peeking out over his hip bone, and used his free hand to brush them lightly.

"You have a cool stripe."

"Thanks," she replied, but he was too busy gazing wistfully at her pubic hair to catch her silly grin. "Some stuffy lord gave it to me."

"Competition?" he asked, not removing his gaze as he continued to tickle her there.

"Well, he did have a stripe." She watched his lips tick upward, but he said nothing. "He is very handsome, but he was kind of an ass."

That earned a brief look in her direction, and her teasing expression was finally his to behold.

"Do you find him more attractive than I?"

Neck beginning to stiffen, she lowered her chin and rested her cheek against his warm chest.

"You're pretty comparable."

A faint 'Ah,' could be heard from above her, and she smiled as she burrowed in a little deeper. "Did you like him better?"

There was something in his question that gave Kagome pause. She had just been teasing, but his tone seemed to suggest that he wasn't.

Had she not spent so much time around him, she never would have detected the faint hints of resentment lacing his otherwise unassuming tone. She knew he felt lacking in compare to his former self, but if he was talking about the demon who showed her a night of passion in the hot spring, there was no distinction to be made.

Even with his power and markings, he was the same guy then as he was right now. From the way he touched her body to the way he touched her heart, from the things he made her feel to the way he made her feel, and to the way he felt about her, was all the same.

His former self, however, who she knew was the true measuring stick which bred his ceaseless insecurities, was another story completely. The man who held her now could not be more different from that cold, cruel youkai, and it filled her with protective rage that _that_ youkai made the man she loved feel so weak and low. That's what he did though. To everyone, apparently even himself.

Sesshoumaru had no reason to envy that youkai, because to her, he was better in every conceivable way. There was nothing redeemable about daiyoukai Sesshoumaru, and she was glad he was gone.

The vicious thought did something unpleasant to her in that moment, however, that put a stop to her hateful seething.

It was so easy to separate the man with her now from the youkai he used to be. The change in appearance made it easy to compartmentalize away the youkai with silver hair and markings as another person completely. But they were the same being.

The Sesshoumaru from the past was the same guy who was with her now, and that night in the hot spring proved that his youki and power had nothing to do with the favorable change in his character.

Sesshoumaru had changed for the better the same way everyone else did. Well, maybe the means were a _tad_ unconventional, but the ingredients were all the same. Time, exposure, and experience is how all of us change. Built character. Improve.

Evolve.

And you don't have to be youkai to be corrupted by power. Or Blinded.

Or isolated, and left to reinforce your own flawed perspectives, because when you don't need things from people, you have no incentive to amerce yourself with those you might not necessarily admire or agree with, or perhaps even look down upon.

You don't give them a chance to persuade you, or prove you wrong, or expand your horizons, so you stay in your large, hollow, lonely chamber listening to your own voice bouncing off the walls.

Being human in and of itself had not changed Sesshoumaru. It simply forced him to endure the unwashed masses long enough to make the change himself.

This man could not be more different from the youkai she met in the tomb, but not because he was human. Sesshoumaru was changed by his experiences, just like everyone else was. The dramatic nature of his circumstances just sped things up a bit, but then again, the guy was pretty quick on the uptake when he applied himself.

Time and experience were all that separated this man from the youkai she used to know, but they were still the same person. And knowing Sesshoumaru now, she didn't doubt he had the capacity for growth all along. Even if he hadn't become human, if the circumstances permitted it, he still could have changed for the better. This whole thing just kind of expedited the process.

And to be fair, before all this, she'd only seen the guy at his worst. He always seemed to be having a particularly bad day when they'd crossed paths in the past. Maybe if they'd interacted more, she would have seen the man he'd become was not so deep below the surface after all.

Not like he would have ever let that happen.

"No," she answered honestly, and tilted her chin again. "But then, I didn't really know him all that well. I bet if he'd ever given me a chance, I would have liked him just as much."

She felt his fingers curl against her back as he kept his gaze on the ceiling above.

"Perhaps if he had not tried to take your life." She saw him frown, and that hint of resentment from before was even thicker on his tongue.

"Yeah, that would have helped," she conceded with a smirk, but his frown only deepened. "But I wasn't great to him either."

After all, he wasn't the only one participating in their little skirmishes. She hadn't given him much of a chance either, or tried to get to understand why he did the things he did.

She'd long forgiven his past indiscretions, but he wouldn't let himself off the hook so easily.

He wasn't as bad as she thought he was then, and she'd bet he wasn't as bad as he thought he was either. She started stroking his chest.

"And even so, there were still things I liked about him."

"Name one," he challenged doubtfully. And by the way he was gauging her, she could tell the lie detector was on.

"You mean besides his unsurpassable beauty?"

He nodded once. "Please."

She only had to stare at him a moment for an easy smile to claim her features. "He was great with kids." He lifted a brow, causing her to giggle. "I love a man who is kind to children. It's a good indicator."

"Of what?"

"Fatherly material," she responded confidently. His slightly surprised reaction caused her to blush.

Where did that come from? It was way too early for those kind of thoughts. Kami, they just started having sex like, an hour ago! She probably freaked him out. Hell, she kind of freaked herself out with that one.

"He just had a way about him. It's hard to explain," she continued shyly, trying to save it. "I admired him, even after all that stuff he did. I just wish I took the time to get to know him better. I think he was misunderstood."

His eyes softened appreciatively as he looked down at her, but the regret from before was still there. The apology emanating from his features was so strong she swore she could almost hear it.

"He would not have allowed such a thing," he said instead, expression hardening once again.

"Oh, I don't know. It's kind of my thing. I have a way with big, mean youkai." He scoffed, only making her grin up at him even wider. "I know I look harmless, so you let your guard down, and before you know it; we're best friends. You'll never even see it coming."

His amusement at her antics softened into something deeper the longer he stared at her. That unshakable optimism and relentless audacity should irk him to no end, and it had. But she was right.

In any other being in the planet, such foolishness would have spelled their demise a thousand times over. Yet somehow with her, the combination proved just right to endear herself to the most dangerous demons in existence. It was a very effective defense mechanism she had concocted there.

But it had worked a little too well on him. Luckily, she didn't seem to mind.

Bending forward, he pressed his lips to her crown before reclining on his back again. She snuggled closer, and he wrapped his other arm around to encase her fully. He rubbed her bare back with both palms in a soothing rhythm while she tickled the smoothness of his chest.

"Is it different?"

"Hn?"

She lifted her eyes to his, and blushed.

Something about him being all half-lidded and rumpled made Kagome's skin extra sensitive. His messy hair and relaxed expression had her feeling very accomplished.

He folded an arm behind his head to talk more comfortably.

"It's pretty safe to say you have done that before."

"Once or twice," he admitted as he shifted beneath her.

"So, what's it like to have sex in a body that isn't yours? That you're not used to, I mean."

He was silent for a moment as he stared at her, before his lips curled up a little higher.

"Like riding a dragon."

"What?!"

He chuckled at her scandalized expression, and stroked her back again for placation.

"Or more so, like training a new dragon after the one you have ridden your entire life has left you. There is an adjustment period before mastery is possible, and you cannot expect the new one to follow old commands specific to the other. You must learn his unique talents and hone them through repetition."

He hadn't needed the heated stare to drive home that thinly veiled statement, but he decided to play it safe. Her flesh began to heat at the prospect of helping Sesshoumaru 'train his dragon.'

"You must be on alert until you are comfortable with each other."

That one was a little harder to discern. Was it his body he needed to get comfortable with, or was she the dragon this time?

Suddenly self-conscious, she scraped her lower lip beneath her teeth.

"So, is it very different with a human?" she asked shyly. "As a human?"

"The mechanics do not vary," he informed her. "However, there are some glaring differences."

"Such as?" She had to admit, this topic worried her a bit. She was already coming in at a deficit in the experience department, so she really didn't need any curveballs.

"This form itself is more..." he paused thoughtfully, and finally went with, "sensitive, for lack of a better word. My body's reaction to yours has affected my stamina somewhat."

"Maybe for the best," she said, slightly relieved. "I don't know if I could have handled much more than that."

At least yet. She wanted to get broken in a little more before attempting any marathon sex sessions.

"Then again, it may simply be the effects of my chosen partner." They shared a smile before she rewarded his sweetness by putting her warm lips on his.

It might sound ass-kissy, but it was the truth. She was the only human he'd ever slept with, so there was no way to know what aspects of their coupling were specific to only her. And if he had his way, he would never find out.

"Pleasure does factor into youkai rutting. However, it is instinctually driven." Now that he had a frame of reference, he could pinpoint the differences – at least from a male's perspective. Since she asked, he would educate her on his findings.

"When engaging in such things in the past, my beast would retain much more control over my senses. The urge to procreate and dominate a mate takes precedent, and though it behooves him to see to his partner's own enjoyment; the duty to perform well and prove superior among my species takes priority over all else."

That explained why he was so preoccupied with stamina. It also explained why he refused to take her on his demon night. She was lucky he had been able to resist, because a youkai Sesshoumaru out of his mind with lust and out to prove his virility did not sound like anything she was ready for.

Just because her thighs were getting hot and slick just thinking about it didn't mean it was a good idea. Her throbbing core didn't know what was good for it. Or maybe it did...

Either way, she definitely would have gotten pregnant.

"Without my beast's control, I was able to focus on other things."

"Like what?"

He smiled, and dragged his hand up her back and into her hair. "Like you."

He had her blushing again, and she had to avoid his gaze. He allowed her the respite from his undivided focus, but she would have to keep listening to his recount.

"Your every response, every reaction to my touch fueled me. Inspired me to test the bounds of your body's call to mine. I longed to see to your every need. And when I did, I was more than rewarded with the pleasure I received in return."

He stroked bare, flushed skin as he recalled their coupling more vividly. That was the biggest difference in rutting as a human. The clarity. Free from his beast's domain, he could feel everything, he could think... to an extent. He'd never been so present.

"I reveled in the closeness." He bent to rest his forehead atop hers, and squeezed her against him a little tighter. "I simply wanted you near me. And I cannot be certain if it is my humanity which yearns for such things, or if it is you I wish to appease. This is all, very new to me."

So, these were the sort of things lovers said to each other. Huddled away in the wake of their intimacy, basking in the aftermath of a moment in time no one else would ever be privy to. They now shared a secret, a knowledge of one another in that very place in time that no matter what occurred, another living being could never fully understand.

She had something with someone now that no one else could ever have, and though it couldn't last forever, it would always be theirs. This is what she'd envied all this time; not the physical gratification sex could bring, but a sense of belonging and acceptance, and inclusion in a place she'd felt shut out of all this time.

She'd had so much taken from her, they both had. And as long as they drew breath, they'd be forced to protect what they held precious with everything they had. But this was something even the most vile and powerful foe could never wrest from them. It was theirs, and no matter what happened, it always would be.

He leaned forward to nuzzle his cheek to hers, returning his arm to wrap her in his full embrace. The feel of his smooth skin gliding softly against hers had her eyes drifting shut, and she got the distinct feeling she was being memorized. Traced, tracked, cataloged... he was imprinting this moment in his mind, using each one of his senses in a way that no human would ever be driven to.

He asked her not to dwell on it, and she wouldn't. But there was no doubt in her mind that his demon was still in there, guiding his instincts with what little influence he had, and though she would stop actively seeking him out, she was not going to pretend it didn't exist, like he was trying to do.

"Maybe someday we will find out," she whispered, being held and caressed so gently she might break.

He stilled, slowly opening his eyes and pulling back just enough. She could see the disapproval beginning to filter in.

"I'm not going to obsess over changing you," she assured him, "if that's what you want. But if you happen to change, perhaps that will answer your question."

He considered her thoughtfully for a moment, for he knew she was right. He would never know another human's touch, so the only way to tell would be if he had her when he was fully demon again.

It would be an interesting experiment, and quite an enjoyable one.

"Would you have me again, if returned to my former glory?" he asked, stroking languidly down her back.

She returned the favor, putting her hands back in motion along his shoulder.

"You get to compare the experience, why shouldn't I?"

He returned her smile, very much liking the notion of being used as a tool for her education. "You will be the only woman to ever have me in both forms."

The devotion he promised sent her spinning. It all felt too good to be true, but any vow from him was as good as a blood oath, so she refused to let her insecurities flourish. Her naivete and idealism has caused her pain in the past, but the trust he'd built inside her heart made the guard wall around it obsolete.

But he'd built all his equity with her while he was human. And while she knew in her head that this was the same person, that very heart was still wary of his youkai self. And if his beast made sex such a different experience, who's to say he wouldn't see her in a different light at other times too?

"You really think you will want to be with me again, once you were back to your old self?"

She couldn't be blamed for the doubt she harbored, and it made him loathe that youkai for ever putting it there. It was a reason why the prospect of never seeing him return was not all together distasteful to him any longer.

He combed her hair back, grasping her jaw in his hand drew himself near.

"Whether I change back or not, I will never be back to my old self."

The warm press of his mouth to hers sealed his vow with a kiss. The way she moaned, the way she scraped her nails against his chest as she curled her hands in pleasure was almost enough to roll her over one more time.

But there would be plenty of time for that later. They had their whole lives ahead of them, and for the first time since becoming human; he was looking forward to it.

"And you?" he asked, once they finally pulled away. "Is it as you expected?"

"Not at all," she answered, smiling dreamily. "But it was wonderful."

She knew there would be pain, and that part had been unpleasant. But he'd handled her as good as he possibly could have, and the reward for her endurance made the sacrifice well worth it.

"Then you do not regret giving your first time to your alpha's bastard of a brother?" he asked playfully, making her smirk. "A haughty, insufferable- if not devastatingly handsome- ex-demon lord, turned pathetic, weak mortal?"

So, he was self-aware after all. That was another benefit of their shared secret; he would show her things in these times no one else would ever see. He was just for her like this.

"Not if you don't regret giving your first human experience to a mouthy, unrefined, disrespectful- if not completely charming- shrine maiden from the future."

He seemed to appreciate the concessions, and knew just as well as she that such claims would be vehemently disputed in the future.

"You did take my human body's virginity, didn't you?"

"Mhm. I've tainted you." She grinned. "No woman will have you now."

"No?"

"Nope," she replied confidently. "Your virtue has been compromised."

Smirking wickedly, he leaned in to place a hot kiss behind her jaw.

"It is fortunate that there is only one woman I would have," he mumbled against her ear, and had her gasping when his tongue became involved.

She grabbed his biceps, and when she started grinding into his muscled thigh, he felt the heated flesh grow slick against his skin.

It took no effort at all to roll them over, and suddenly the miko found herself trapped beneath Sesshoumaru's body yet again. Hands pinned high above her head, she could only squirm as he placed more hot kisses to her throat.

"In fact, I should like to have her now."

He released her hands to free his up for new endeavors, but as soon as he did; he found himself being pushed away.

"Hey, now. Easy buddy." She was nowhere near strong enough to pry his lips from her supple skin, so when he backed off, it was simply a courtesy. "Just because we did it, it doesn't mean it's open season on the miko." Her point was accented by a sharp jab to his chest with her deceptively strong, boney finger.

"No?"

"Nope." She shook her head, and forced him back further by sitting up. "Don't think we are just going to start having sex whenever you want."

He freed her up by rolling to his side, but gathered her to him once again.

"I expected no such thing. I only plan on having sex whenever _you_ want." She deemed this acceptable and he touched his nose to hers. "Which, let us be honest, will likely be quite often." And then she rolled her eyes, and tried to turn away, but his hold kept her firmly in place. "In fact, it is I who will likely be forced to put a stop to things."

"You are such a cocky bastard," she said, but couldn't wipe the smile off her face as she informed him of it. He smiled back.

"Hn. My stamina is not what it was. I am afraid you must take advantage of my libido when it presents itself."

"It's presenting," she announced, looking down to where his hardness was trapped between them. Perhaps his stamina was affected by his humanity, but he sure didn't have any trouble hitting reset.

And the way he touched her body with his lips and his hands ensured she didn't have any trouble either.

She forced herself to pull away from his attack on her nervous system, and looked into eyes hooded with lust again.

"I can't be like a demon in bed," she admitted, "but maybe I can meet you halfway."

She scrambled out of his hold, and his whole body stilled when she got on all fours, and threw an inviting look over her shoulder.

She taunted him by wiggling her ass at him temptingly. "Bringing back any memories, fluffy?"

He pushed himself up on his knees. "Kagome..." he warned sternly.

"Yes?"

His gaze was fixed intently upon her offering.

"I like you."

She grinned wider. "I know. You didn't need to say it. Do I?"

"Only if you wish." He walked on his knees until he reached her. "Though your actions are more than sufficient."

He started stroking her ass appreciatively, still fixated on the juicy core between her open legs. He couldn't tell if she was still swollen from before, or if reignited excitement was to blame for the puffy red flesh.

"I like you," she said anyway. "Let me show you." But when he didn't immediately move himself into position behind her, she encouraged him further. "Maybe it will help you channel your inner dog demon."

But he shook his head. "No."

Her confusion had her twisting back around.

"I am a human now. I will take you as such."

She laughed as his earnest response. He'd clearly made the decision to embrace his new humanity completely. He didn't do anything half-way, and he took everything he did very seriously.

"Inuyoukai do not own the rights to doggystyle," she informed him, but he didn't look convinced. "Humans do it that way too." Seeing the determined set to his jaw, she placed a beseeching hand on his arm. "Please? I wanna try it. Especially with you."

Apparently, dog demons didn't own the rights to puppy dog eyes either. She could see his resolve fizzling, so she stole a thankful kiss and turned back around.

He situated himself behind her, and not being able to see him added an anticipatory thrill. She felt large, strong hands caress her prone backside decadently, and a shiver wracked through her frame when he placed hot lips on the center of her spine.

She drew a sharp gasp, however, when without warning, those lips found her glistening folds. The heat from his mouth had her moaning her approval, before he parted the quivering flesh between her legs with his tongue.

" _Sesshoumaru_ ," she shuddered, and felt the vibration of his answering groan against her lower lips. Her arms gave out, making her slump forward but he used his grip on her thighs to keep her from getting away.

He had to tear himself away from her addictive flavor, but placated his disgruntled instincts with a vow to return.

He leaned over her, covering her entire body easily with his much larger frame, and she felt his thick cock burning hot against her ass as he swiped her hair over to one side. He kissed her bare shoulder, then her neck, and she turned impatiently to him to receive him with her mouth.

As he drew back, he ran his hand slowly down her spine until he reached the swell of her ass. Taking a fleshy globe in each hand, he squeezed roughly, and ground his searing erection up against her dripping core.

She pushed herself back up on her elbows, but a firm hand between her shoulder blades stopped her ascent. She started to turn around, but he applied pressure until she obeyed the silent command, and let him gently guide her face down to the futon. She had a feeling the guy knew what he was doing.

Her arms bore no weight as he angled her waist next, instructing her to arch her lower back and tilt her hips up to him. He then used his knee to coax her legs further apart, and he finally had her positioned for him perfectly.

She ached to be filled, that place deep inside begging for more of his sinful attention as she felt her arousal dripping down her inner thigh. One hand took hold of her ass cheek as he used the other to position himself at her opening.

He used the smooth head of his cock to trace her juices teasingly around her slit, making her shudder when he slipped forward to rub his wet cock against the sensitive nub outside. He bit back a laugh when in her frustration, she jutted back in an attempt to impale herself on his impressive girth.

He ended her torment at last when he finally pierced himself through her swollen, throbbing flesh. Her natural lubricant was more than sufficient to see him gliding through her heat smoothly, and twin groans harmonized as he slowly parted her inch by glorious inch.

When he was fully seated with her pert ass smashed against his hips, he threw back his head to revel in her absolute perfection. He remained still, breathing the moment in and simply enjoyed being completely sheathed inside her choking grip.

"If your youki tries to return, I want you to embrace it."

He immediately opened his eyes, but she hadn't turned around.

"Don't hold back."

He responded by curling forward, planting a palm beside her shoulder and taking her chin with his other. His kiss was demanding and dominant, but she happily complied as his tongue sought hers and coaxed it to dance.

She moaned into his mouth as he drew his length back, holding her chin so she wouldn't break the deep kiss. When he pushed himself back in, his lips had to finally stop to let a hot breath of air shakily escape.

Her mouth fell open as she cried out, eyes shut just as tightly as his were at the sensation of being stretched around him so wonderfully. Hips angled forward, spreading her with his thick cock as her walls gripped him fiercely with everything they had.

The slow, easy entrance was finished with a sharp, forceful tap against the back of her cervix. He grunted at the contact as she cried out harder, before pulling himself through her tight channel once again.

He released his hold to place a hand between her shoulder blades and keep her firmly in place. He increased his pace, getting a few good pumps and making harsher impact before retreating and straightening his back.

Kagome was vocal. She was always a mouthy little thing, but he much preferred her wailing with encouragement and praise as he plundered her continuously like this. Assured of her enjoyment, he grabbed her hips and began a steady, fevered pace.

The sound of skin slapping skin echoed throughout the hut as he slammed into her tight core over and over. He found that spot deep inside her, and discovered the perfect angle to thrust, so now his goal was to hit her there as hard and as fast as he could possibly manage.

She was a boneless heap already, and he was fairly certain that his death grip on her lush curves was the only thing keeping her upright. Demon speed could no longer be achieved, but with his newfound sensitivity and her unbelievable snugness, he decided that was probably for the best. He'd already cum twice this evening, but her soft, constrictive warmth was well on its way to bringing him to that precipice once again.

But not yet. He still had some leeway, and since she wanted him this way, he was going to make sure it was everything she hoped for.

The request had surprised him, but he had to say he was pleased. This had always been his preferred position, and there was something warm and familiar about being behind a presenting female once again.

She was far better than any of them, of course. She didn't even have to do anything; just the feel of her, the shape, the size... as he was made just for her, she was crafted by the kami with him in mind. She fit him perfectly. Perhaps a size too small at first, but breaking her in and molding her to accommodate him was going to be the fun part. He was up for it, and by the way she hadn't been able to moan a coherent word in several minutes, he suspected she was as well.

He continued to impale her on his hot flesh; strong hips flexing to meet her over and again in rapid succession. He'd never been a noisy bed partner himself, but he was finding it difficult to prevent the occasional sounds from escaping his throat and announcing his pleasure. He was finding it difficult to care as well.

"Sessh.. Oh... ah... mah..."

He was hell bent on ensuring his full name never made it past her enraptured lips, but bless her, she was trying.

His proficiency in this position made it easy to slip into old habits. Not that he wasn't fully present, but it just felt so natural to be behind her like this. It was familiar, and the comfort that brought him was something he rarely encountered inside this human body.

That must be why old urges were beginning to surface. Perhaps it was muscle memory that was encouraging him to dominate. To test her strength and limits. To get rough with her.

She had told him to embrace any youkai instincts he might have, though he doubted that's what this was. But even if it were, she had no idea what that would mean for her. He would not engage her like a youkai bitch, no matter how much the prospect excited him.

A light sheen of sweat now coated them both, making well-formed muscles glimmer as they clenched and coiled, and retracted as he moved himself furiously within her. It also made their fucking much more audible, celebrating every powerful thrust with that unmistakable sound of their illustrious joining.

She squeezed his cock relentlessly as he slipped past her tender folds, and his vision became spotty with lust as he focused on the back of her raven-haired head. How he wanted her to turn around. To throw her head over her shoulder, and let him watch her face contort with pleasure as he fucked her senseless.

Old entitlement was bleeding past his defenses with each stroke he made, until he was nearly seething.

For it was _he_ who was responsible for that pleasure she was reveling in. Every expression she made while he was inside of her was his creation, and she selfishly denied him the spoils of his efforts.

He deserved to see exactly what he was doing to her. Those looks were _his_.

Before he knew what he was doing; Sesshoumaru bent forward. Reaching out, he grabbed long hair tightly in his fist, and pulled until she was finally looking back at him.

There it was. _Good_.

She didn't protest the rough treatment, likely couldn't if she wished to. The sight of her consumed with helpless lust made him increase the ferocity of his thrusts, and choppy approving sounds were all she could offer.

She couldn't even open her eyes as he jostled her with his turbulent pounding, and that infuriated him now as well. He needed to see her endless blue depths glazed over with desire. She needed to see exactly who it was to take her such heights.

"Open your eyes," he ordered gruffly, and gave the hair in his fist a sharp tug. "Look at me."

When she did, she saw his intimidating features, honing in on her raw and intently as he fucked her with renewed purpose.

_Good, obedient little bitch._

He didn't let her see him falter when he realized what he was doing.

Kagome wasn't a youkai bitch, and he did not desire her to be. Why were his instincts calling for him to treat her like one?

Nothing had urged him to take her like a youkai conquest the other times they'd coupled. Why were they roaring at him so loudly to do so now?

Was it the position? Perhaps the familiarity of it was stirring his instincts.

He would be mortified that he'd been so brash with her, but she sure didn't seem to be minding it. In fact, he'd become far more saturated with her fluids since the first tug. Did she like it?

Why did that fuel him further? He was supposed to be embracing his humanity, not wallowing in the past. And she was mortal. A miko, no less. Demon callings should not excite her like this.

But then, he shouldn't be surprised. She'd always had an unhealthy infatuation with his kind. Perhaps that was why she'd encouraged him to embrace any youkai tendencies he might have...

Well, he was certainly having them, and she seemed to be enjoying it too. Who was he to deny his little priestess her pleasure?

With a hard pull; he yanked her head backward, and she closed her eyes again.

"Ah!"

"Did I hurt you, miko?" he asked cruelly, in a tone he hadn't employed in some time.

He was moving faster now, harder. As he slammed himself against her ass in a bone-jarring thrust, he enjoyed making difficult for her to speak.

"Y-yes," she managed, wincing when he pulled her hair again.

"But you liked it, didn't you?"

His fingers dug into her hip to hold her firm, and his long strokes pounded into her cervix so forcefully it made her cry out with each impact.

She looked to be in discomfort as he forced her to arch back, but her moans were not born of pain, and the way she convulsed greedily around his imposing cock spoke only of wanton need.

"Such a naughty priestess," he chastised darkly through a malicious smirk, "lusting after demons. Tell me..." He bent over her, leaning down and pulling her back to put his lips near her ear. "Shall I fuck you like a demon?"

Bent like he was, he couldn't slam into her as unforgivingly as a moment ago, but he felt her juices gushing around his stiff cock, escaping her heat with every pump and drenching her thighs.

His relentless attack made answering him nearly impossible. But he was patient.

"Yes."

"Yes what?" he demanded.

"Yes, please!"

He couldn't suppress the laugh that escaped him. It wasn't what he was going for, but he wouldn't belabor it. The truth was, he likely wanted this more than she did. He felt like he needed it.

He couldn't ravish her as wildly as a youkai could, and he wouldn't put her through the abuse a youkai would crave. But he had been holding back some. And if she needed more, he would certainly give it.

Retreating behind her again, he released her hair to grab her tightly by the hips with both hands. She immediately dropped her head, as her only recourse was to brace for impact throughout his oncoming onslaught.

It was not his intention to be harmful, but his exaggerated caution was disregarded in favor of something more natural. He'd been careful with her, ignoring his baser instincts and personal preferences to accommodate her tight, virgin canal.

Now she was allowing him the freedom to take her as his beast would, and it was only for her obvious enjoyment that he endeavored to take her up on it.

She was still so fucking tight, but he speared right through her hot folds over and over, reaming her out with his throbbing shaft.

Each devastating thrust against her ass and her cervix sent her jolting forward, but his steel grip around her curves kept her steadily in place. Cheek smashed against the futon, she'd been reduced to a ragdoll in his hands, and at the mercy of his want and will.

She was strong, he knew this. And capable and proud. With a little experience, he didn't doubt she would command a more adversarial role in their rutting. But despite her independence; he couldn't say it didn't please him that she enjoyed his displays of dominance. She was not a submissive type, but she liked him in control like this.

He pounded into her quivering heat, rubbing overly sensitive nerves raw and giving her goosebumps with the power he had over her. This was a man who had known great power, had it in droves and knew exactly what to do with it. Even if it wasn't there, he carried himself like a being who encompassed so much strength just his mere presence made you feel cripplingly weak in comparison.

But she could be weak with him. In those moments, she could trust him to be strong for them both.

"Yes..." she finally choked out, her first intelligible word in some time, "...please!"

He snarled his approval, pleased at her response. Something churned so low in his throat that it was nearly his in chest, an indistinguishable place in his human body nothing like his youkai form.

He rewarded her by sliding his large hand back up her arched spine, the warmth a comforting assurance of his presence.

 _Mine_.

"Faster..." she begged, and he picked up his already almost-inhuman pace until he was sure he'd reached the limits of this stunted human form.

"Harder!"

With a sharp crack, his splayed palm came in contact with the soft flesh on her ass, reddening the skin and making her cry out from the show of force. But he was growing attuned with her pleasured sounds, and combined with the way she viced his cock; he knew the contact was appreciated.

Grabbing high on her thighs, he angled her hips back up toward him from where they had shifted throughout his assault, and finally let himself go. He put all of his power into slamming himself into her as roughly and sharply as he could. She cried out her approval as he hit her back wall and the spot deep within her with more force than he'd dared thus far, and was infinitely pleased that not only could she handle it, but she relished his reckless treatment as well.

Words were no long possible, but her loud moans drowned out his own labored grunting as he pushed himself to exhaustion battering her womb.

Her wet passage was leaking between them as he drove into her repeatedly, and her skin beneath his hands was growing too slick to hold onto.

The extent of his efforts could be seen on his heavily perspired brow, beads rolling down his temple and streaming down his hard chest. The strong muscles in his torso clenched and flexed as he continued to thrust wildly, as did her core around his firm heat.

He was beginning to worry she might outlast him, but in that moment, she clamped down on him in a now familiar way.

"Ah... ah... ye-"

She announced her impending release as he felt his own build, but as it did, something new accompanied it. Or rather, something old.

Nostalgia graduated to recognition, and then acknowledgement deep in his bones. He knew that feeling, he remembered it, and as his own release loomed closer, his excitement snowballed into surrender as instinct reached out and demanded control.

She'd told him to embrace it if it came, but he could not be certain he would have been able to restrain himself if he tried. Teetering on the edge of climax placed his control in a weakened state as it was, but the thrilling temptation of his youki's triumphant return after so long was a force even he did not have the strength to deny.

Kagome shuddered beneath him, choking out a grateful sob as she reached her glorious end, and with his deference to his beast's demand for control; he felt himself slip away as his youki and his climax claimed him.

He fell forward, caging her between his arms as he began to empty his seed. The rush of pleasure hooked low in his abdomen, washing out his thoughts in a mindless haze of overwhelming sensation. His body reacted naturally as all senses became heightened, everything felt keener as he surrendered control to his instincts once again. Warm lips found her neck, lapping at the skin and making her shiver anew as he sucked on the sensitive crook of her shoulder. Then, he latched on.

Teeth grazed her lightly before finally clamping down, and as he hit the peak of his release; he bit down with all of his strength.

He couldn't tell if she's cried out, for in those final moments, blinding pleasure overrides all the other senses. His powerful orgasm shut down sight and sound and any other useless thing to focus on the monumental pleasure, and nothing else. And it was fantastic.

It had been so long since anything had felt that good. Perhaps it never had. But for just a moment, everything was perfect, and for once, it felt like it always would be.

When his instinct receded, however, and the spots cleared away, the roaring in his ears dulled to reveal a faint whispering.

Then, the taste of copper hit his tongue.

Unlatching himself abruptly from the trembling mass beneath him, he looked down in horror at the blood – Kagome's blood – seeping through the broken skin above her pulse point.

But he didn't need to see the inferior dental map of his bite, nor the stripeless arms in front of him to know he'd made a terrible mistake. How could he be so foolish!

He pulled himself away quickly. Out and off, he darted frantically across the room as fast as a human could manage, and ignored the invasion of property rule she'd set not for the first time.

His heart beat wildly in his chest as he rifled through her yellow pack, trying to focus on his task and not the outrageous offense he'd just committed.

He wiped his mouth off on the back of his hand, only to spark a sick feeling in his stomach when he saw how much blood had been there. He finally found what he was looking for, and raced back to Kagome's side to find her now sitting upright.

He approached apologetically, grabbing the towel they had used and shooing her own fingers away from the wound. Though he said nothing, she read the fear in his eyes easily enough, but simply allowed him to tenderly clean away the blood on her shoulder.

It really wasn't as bad as he'd initially thought. Though, any of her blood was unacceptable and shameful. The bite was shallow, and the bleeding had already stopped. Provided it didn't get infected, it would be gone without a scar in a few days. He'd be surprised if there wasn't a bruise though.

After cleaning it up, he applied the topical ointment as she'd done for him countless times by now.

"I apologize," he said at last, refusing to meet her eyes. Instead, he let his gaze linger on the bite mark before finally turning away.

"It's okay."

He used the towel to wipe the blood off his mouth next, but he couldn't see that his skin remained lightly stained.

"I should not have harmed you, nor will I ever again."

How could he do something so reckless? He was not supposed to be entertaining the possibility that his youki would ever return. It was impossible. Had he not vowed to simply accept his lot and embrace it?

And he was lucky it hadn't come back. If it had...

After all she'd just done for him, and this is how she is repaid? He'd lobbied so hard for her unconditional trust, and this is what he does with it? Shameful doesn't even begin to discribe-

"It's fine. I-"

"I will control myself in the future," he assured her sternly, finally looking her in the eye. "I'm sorry. Your trust-"

"Sesshoumaru!" she interrupted, touching his bare arm. "I said it's fine. Do I look mad?" She didn't, but he frowned anyway. "I told you to embrace it if you felt anything. Besides," she blushed shyly, "I kind of asked for it."

He watched her cheeks darken, and only knew regret.

Things had been going so well. They were having a great time, and he was very excited with the turn their lovemaking had taken. He was so thrilled with her apparent interest in his more traditional tendencies towards sex, and even was willing to indulge him.

They should be still basking in their afterglow, but now, he wouldn't blame her if she never wished to engage with him like that again. If this was how he conducts himself...

But still, it had been so real... He'd have bet on his life that was his youki he felt in those final moments. How could he have gotten it so wrong?

But it was good that he had. He almost made a choice with her life that she had not consented to. He pushed that thought away for now.

"I felt something... familiar," he finally explained. "I thought perhaps..." She watched with concern as he got a glazed, far-off look. Correcting quickly, he shook himself. "I was foolish."

"It wasn't foolish." She scooted up next to him, and took the bloody towel out of his hands before tossing it aside. "It was actually pretty hot."

She cuddled even closer, and coaxed him to lean back against the wall with her. Obviously still troubled, he remained unresponsive so she put his arm around her shoulders and laced his fingers with hers.

"You're not gonna break me, you know? I'm tougher than I look." His face was unreadable as he looked into hers. "And you're more tender than people know."

She was used to it now, but when she thought about the demon he used to be, or at least the one she used to know, she never would have imagined he could be so sensitive to her human frailty. That he could be so affected whenever it was compromised.

She doubted those concerns extended too far beyond her though.

"Tell no one," he ordered as she looked at him expectantly.

"No one would believe me anyway."

He could thank the kami for that. She placed her hand on his chest, and leaned in for a kiss. He met her half way.

After, she settled into his side more comfortably. He held her to him tighter, and a long moment of silence passed between them.

"I guess it didn't work," she said regretfully.

"It worked just fine."

The flat glare she leveled was only good for a smirk, apparently.

"You know what I mean. It didn't change you."

"No."

She was so sure she was right. She didn't know why, it just felt like it was. It made sense to her. But maybe, she just wanted it to be right.

In the end, he was right, like always. She was idealistic, and naïve, and wrong again. And while she still believed optimism was important, she could also see how building people's hopes up just to let them down again could be an even more depressing existence than keeping your expectations low in the first place. That way, if she was right, he'd be pleasantly surprised instead of let down.

"It matters not," he told her plainly. "I found a benefit to being human." Kagome looked up to find violent eyes resting on her comfortably. "I can be with you."

His face was unreadable, save for the gentle way his eyes softened around the edges. "I may never be demon again," he said, tipping her chin toward him when she frowned. "But as long as I am with you, I will be happy. That is something I had never accomplished in my previous form."

She wasn't supposed to hope for it. Not say it aloud, not think it – even subconsciously. Because if you love someone, how can you root against them just to benefit yourself? It was bad enough she made him human. But to want to keep him that way, just because it would be nice for her if he stayed...

But she did love him. And it made sense that she would want to be with him. Unfortunate that they only could be if he stayed human. But it was looking like he would, so there was no point in dwelling on it. She got what she wanted. She just wished she wasn't so damn happy about it.

But then, he didn't seem completely broken up. And if he didn't prefer to stay human with her, at least he didn't seem to hate the idea.

"So what do we do now?" she asked, feeling a little silly lounging naked, but not completely sure she should dress yet.

"I remain at your service. I can take you again if you wish."

She wasn't entirely sure if she should be offended by his passive offer, or impressed by it. Just how many times did he expect to have sex tonight? How many was he good for? She briefly considered his proposal as she gazed at his naked body a little longer than was safe, and had a feeling she would find out soon enough.

"I'm feeling pretty sore." After all, she'd gone from never-used to roughly-handled in a matter of hours. There was no way the universe was giving her a free lunch with that one. She'd be lucky if she could walk tomorrow.

"I can soothe you with my tongue until you sleep..." was his next offer, and she couldn't tell if he sounded more apologetic or hopeful.

"I think I've had enough excitement for one evening. I kinda just want to go to sleep."

She hoped he wasn't offended, but then, she'd been pretty generous tonight. She'd accepted his apology, his bite mark, and his dick three times. She felt she'd earned the right to turn in early.

Sesshoumaru nodded resolutely, and stood, before reclaiming his clothing from the floor.

"Where are you going?" she asked once he finished putting his pants on determinedly.

"Leaving, so you may sleep."

He picked up his haori next as Kagome watched him dully.

"I guess men really do cut right out before cuddling," she quipped and he paused in dressing to throw her a curious look. "I want you to sleep with me, stupid."

He just stared back at her as if he hadn't considered it, before obediently returning to her side. "You are not concerned about your packmates returning?" he asked, crawling next to her on the bed once more. "This is their hut."

Yeah, it was admittedly not a cool move. She would not be syked if Inuyasha had sex with Sango in her sleeping bag or something, and they would totally notice the sex and blood stains on their nice, new bed. But desperate times called for desperate measures, and she couldn't chance something stopping them again.

It was kind of his fault anyway for not having her roof ready yet. She knew how much he and Miroku dicked around when they were supposed to be working.

But now that the damage was done, they might as well stay the night. Inuyasha surely heard them, and it was quite possible the others did too. She'd deal with the embarrassment tomorrow, but tonight, they'd be safe.

"They can use my hut tonight. We'll switch back tomorrow." Sesshoumaru accepted her assessment, and handed over his haori for her to wear. As she put it on, he got up and prepared the hearth to last them throughout the night.

She watched him thoughtfully see to their comfort, setting them up for success like it was second nature. There was something primal that drove him to do things like that, just like it drove her to respond to his consideration as strongly as she did.

"I'd like it if you moved in." He'd just finished arranging the fire when she said it, so he looked over. "I want you to stay with me."

After all, she was flying solo now. In light of new developments, it made sense for him to join her in her repaired hut. She doubted the lecher would mind having the hut to himself, though they might find themselves with overnight guests a lot more often.

She finished tying up his shirt as he slowly prowled back over, and proprietary pride darkened his heated gaze just a tad.

"For as long as I am human?" he wondered, and she smiled.

"For as long as _I_ am human."

Crawling beside her once again, he leaned down, and pinned her with a kiss that made her sore flesh throb.

They were sharing a fire, a bed, an outfit, and starting tomorrow, they would now be sharing a hut.

It was such a simple decision that meant so much, and she couldn't say how relieved she was. Because they hadn't talked about it, but they both knew what it meant.

He would stay. In the village, in her hut... Sesshoumaru was officially pack now. It was a big concession. Now she had one to make as well.

If he was going to make a life here with her, it didn't seem right for her to make a life in the future.

Not that she couldn't go see her mom and stuff, not at all. But this would have to be her primary home from now on, and any notions of college or work in the modern era would need to be officially abandoned. She'd decided in her heart a long time ago anyway, Sesshoumaru just gave her a reason to pull the trigger.

Respectful of her first night pains, Sesshoumaru put an end to the heated kiss before things got out of hand. They had been well on the way. But he remained stretched out by her side, gazing down adoringly as he skimmed his hand along his silk.

"Thank you," she said, but he only quirked a brow. "For not going west, I mean. I promise you won't regret it."

Looking down into the blue eyes of the woman who now wore his family's crest, he forced himself not to dwell on how close he had come to missing out on all this. She – and Inuyasha, admittedly – stopped him from making perhaps the largest mistake of his life. A fatal mistake. He would take none of it for granted.

"This Sesshoumaru does not have regrets," he assured her. But as he continued to gaze into her bright features, his confidence wavered. "Although..."

She waited eagerly for him to continue, and with a smile, he appeased her.

"I have never known the feeling of being near my chosen mate." Guilt washed through her, but his smile never faltered. "I wish I could have felt, only once, the pride of my beast as I hold you near."

He used his arm to coax her onto her side, facing him.

"What happens?" she asked, and the hand stroking her through his silks snaked up her sleeve.

"I would hear the blood rush through your veins in anticipation of my touch." He gently ran his fingers from the inside of her elbow to her wrist; the soft pressure tickled and made her shiver.

"Your heartbeat would quicken at my mere presence." The haori being many sizes too big for her made the fold easy to breach. He slid his hand just above her breast, over her heart, and drew soothing circles.

Then, she saw him frown. He lifted his hand to her shoulder, and peeled back the collar enough to reveal the human bite mark. It wasn't looking infected, but it would almost certainly turn purple in a day or two. He grazed it with the pads of his fingertips.

"Right here," he told her, catching her eyes, "I would scent the blood threatening to burst at the throbbing of your pulse, and my fangs would elongate at the prospect of making their eternal mark."

He gazed longingly at her bite, and she saw his tongue moving behind his lip. Did he still have the instincts of a demon, just not the tools? How much did he yearn?

She watched him go on with a mixture of guilt and sympathy.

"The scent of your heat preparing itself for my entry would flood my senses." He looked at her purposefully. "I would all but be able to taste your desire."

Kagome's cheeks heated as his hand slid down to the curve of her hip, and stroked her ass.

"And I am certain, that your reiki, simmering beneath the surface would only fuel the fire of my youki which wishes to dominate you."

He stretched his hand down past the hem of his shirt, before switching course. Slipping under the silk, soft, sure fingertips danced along her thigh. She squirmed as he excited the fine hairs like an invisible marionette, leaving a trail of tingling gooseflesh all the way to the top. There, he lingered just before the hip bone, drumming so lightly it almost wasn't felt.

Seriously reconsidering her earlier decree, Kagome pressed heated thighs together as they slickened slightly, and lost the battle with her will power when she reached out for Sesshoumaru's naked chest.

"It would have been quite an experience."

He would always mourn those things, she supposed. He would always feel some measure of loss. But she vowed to make his life so full that he would hardly even notice. Given time.

"We may not have such superior senses," she conceded, "but humans can relay how we feel to each other as well." Her hand slid up to cup his cheek, and he smiled for her.

"How would a human convey their affections to their mate adequately?"

"By telling them," she answered simply. Then, looking into his eyes for just a moment gave her inspiration. "For instance, I would say:

"The way I feel when I'm with you is... it's incredible. It's the way I wish I felt all the time.

"I thought I was in love before, but you made me realize that I never loved a man before you. And I know, I will never love another man again."

His eyes softened with something akin to gratitude, but she held them sternly.

"I never knew happiness, until I saw myself through your eyes. You make me strive to be the woman you tell me I am. And you make me believe I am her, because I trust you." She smiled. "If you think I can be something so wonderful, then I can. Simple as that. You bring out the best in me, because that's what you deserve. We both do."

She always thought he was such an elitist – a snob – because he expected nothing less than perfection while in his haughty presence. But she'd come to realize his impossibly high standards were not set to serve simply him. Sesshoumaru demands the best from you because it's what you deserve as well.

Humbled by her kindness and honesty, Sesshoumaru grabbed the hand at his cheek and pulled it away. He placed a kiss to the bundle of fingertips, and then another one inside the palm before returning to nuzzle against his cheek.

"And I would have you know," he began carefully, "that love did not exist until you taught me how to love you." He held her hand just as fiercely as her gaze, lest she doubt even a word. "I would give every ounce of my power for just one human lifetime by your side." And in all reality, he had. But it had not been his decision. If given the choice however, he knew now it would be.

"I may never be a demon again, but if I can be with you; I will be the happiest male in any species." When she finally blinked, a single tear escaped down her cheek at the raw honesty he displayed.

"I would take back not a second of this transformation. I thank the heavens for it," he assured her, squeezing her hand in his even tighter. "For if I had not been rendered such, I would not have learned what matters most to This One." Softening, he reached to wipe away the tear she couldn't move to dry herself. "Returning to the way things were, is unacceptable. No matter what happens, I will never be the same, and I will always be grateful to you for that. I am certain that I love you, Kagome."

She would not be able to doubt his claim this time. The mask was gone, the guards were down. He was exposed, and neither of them would be able to hide any longer.

"Your wish, was the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Because she was. His curse had been his blessing in disguise, and ironically, masquerading as a human allowed his own guise to fall away, to reveal the man he truly was buried beneath all that pretense.

He watched Kagome brought to tears once again at his behest, but he could see no pain in her eyes.

She reached for him, pulling him into a hug as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.

"I love you," she whispered, while he returned the embrace. "just like this."

* * *

She'd been having the most amazing dreams.

She couldn't remember what they were as she eased into the waking world from her contented slumber, but before she came online, her body and soul sung of wholeness that granted the most glorious peace.

The ache between her thighs was quick to remind her of their passionate evening, and she wondered if that was the reason she had slept so well. She didn't know what – if any – effect sex would have on her priestess powers, but they felt invigorated in a way she'd never experienced before.

Her reiki felt... soothed. Massaged. Exercised even. Like it had been held in a comforting caress, yet taunted and teased and tested... but in a good way. It felt fuller than before, and she tried to recall the elusive dreams and the happiness they had inspired, but they remained just beyond her reach.

She felt a strong arm curl around her torso. Then, a warm body behind her shifted, squeezing tighter and nuzzling into hair.

She sighed, stretching and throwing back her head as the drag of his nose behind her ear made her shiver.

"Morning," she said with a sleepy smile. "How are you feeling?"

Then, reminiscent of the surge within her dreams, power rolled through her, making her reiki swell. It felt enhanced somehow, balanced and complete, but warned that the thrill of danger was incredibly near.

"Never better," came a deep voice from behind her, and she stiffened.

She felt a sharp pain in the softness of her belly, and glanced down tentatively. Slowed breathing stopped completely when razor-tipped claws were peeped stabbing lightly against her skin. Then she noticed twin magenta stripes curving elegantly around the wrist.

As she turned slowly, a mass of silvery-white bangs invaded her vision, tickling her cheek before the indigo crescent on his brow was even required for confirmation.

"You changed..." She stated the obvious, in a state of awe as she shifted to face him completely. "When did this happen?"

She tried not to squirm under his scrutiny, but the return of his youki and all that went with it made him more intimidating than she'd become accustomed to.

"Dawn."

She glanced towards the window, and blanched. "That was hours ago! Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because I have an ample memory, and a penchant for self-preservation." He smirked, remembering the last time he tried getting her up 'early.' "Besides, you needed the rest."

She was trying not to gawk; she knew it was rude. But it was just such a shocking change to see him like this. Sure, the last time he looked demon had been... a gratifying experience, but in all honesty, her eyes had been closed most of the night. Or 'fogged with lust,' as he correctly recalled.

Plus, it was dark then. She thought that was the rule for his intermittent transformations. The last two times, he'd changed at night, then, just like Inuyasha, he changed back at dawn.

"But its daylight," she said, brow furrowed. "I wonder when you're gonna turn back."

Trance-like, she reached out to touch the stripes on his face, recalling the softness from last time. But he surprised her by grabbing her hand, stopping her short.

"I will not."

He appeared to be searching her features with a fine-toothed comb as he awaited her reaction, but all he would find was complete and utter shock.

He adjusted to a seated position, and she dazedly followed suit.

"You were right," he freely admitted. "I apologize for doubting you. It will not be repeated."

She wished she could enjoy the proud demon's rare concession, and in addition to gloating about her genius, perhaps later she could lay into him for his stupidity and stubbornness. But before that, she needed to be sure it wasn't a fluke. Was he really back for good?

"How do you know?" she asked septically.

"The part of me that was always missing. I have it now. I am whole."

Her eyes roved over him, as if she would be able to see it if it was only temporary.

He looked no different than he had that night in the hot spring, but he knew then that it wasn't permanent. Whatever he needed to be assured of his full return, he appeared to have gotten it. That was... great?

She couldn't say exactly why it had taken until dawn, unless it wasn't really the sex that changed him. Or maybe that's just when these things happen. She doubted they'd ever truly know why, at least for certain.

But it didn't matter. Sesshoumaru was back, and she was happy for him. He deserved to be back. His suffering was over.

But hers was just beginning. She missed his human self already.

She couldn't believe she was never going to see him again. She didn't even get to say goodbye...

"Why are you still here?" She asked, then blushed at her rudeness. "Surely you have things you need to get to."

He'd been waiting for this moment for nearly two months. He had to have a pretty long list of business to handle, and she didn't even want to know what it consisted of, though she had a pretty good idea.

She was honestly surprised he hadn't left for his warpath the second his youki returned to him.

The gentle smile on his demonic façade just looked so out of place there. It was almost scary.

"I did not want you to think I am the kind of man who leaves right after he gets what he wants."

Kami, she had sex with the Lord of the West, hadn't she? Granted, he wasn't the inuyoukai when it happened, but he would be walking around with the memories all the same. Would he regret it, now that he was back? Had he changed?

He said a lot of things last night, and he looked like he meant them. But he had been facing the prospect of permanent humanity. It was entirely possible now that he wasn't, that could all change.

He said he'd forsake his youki for a life with her, but he didn't look too beat up about having his power back now.

"You did get what you wanted, didn't you?" she asked, somewhat cautiously. "You want to be demon..."

"Yes," he confirmed, and she couldn't hide her disappointment. When sadness flickered in her gaze, he reached out to cup her cheek. "but there is something else I want."

There was a hunger in his eyes, and a wickedness in his smile that had her worried. "Tell me it isn't anal," she begged.

Then, her eyes widened exponentially when the stoic demon lord laughed at her.

"No," he assured her, and that hint of heat returned to his molten amber pools. "Though perhaps you would like to see my stripes."

She was hesitant to answer, and he could read her concern. "If you are still sore, the offer to use my mouth to soothe you stands."

When he brushed some hairs carefully behind her ear, the drag of his dangerous claws lightly against her skin caused it to tingle. Her eyelids fluttered closed as the reiki simmered beneath her skin almost eagerly.

"Are you going to go back home?" she asked, artfully dodging that subject for now.

She heard a soft exhale of breath, and opened her eyes again when he removed his hand.

"I am afraid that I must," he confirmed, but she'd already known. That was the plan all along. He agreed to move into her hut because he thought he'd be human forever. She tried to be happy for him as he looked at her intently. "I want you to come with me."

Before she could respond, he got out of bed, and started reclaiming their discarded clothing from the floor of the hut.

"There is a battle taking place in the Western Lands as we speak. My enemies learned of my humanity, and they planned an attack."

He returned to the futon to hand over her clothing, which she promptly snatched away.

"What? And you were going to go fight them?" With a shrug, he crossed back to find his boots. "What was your plan?"

While he got on his shoes, Kagome got out of bed to dress as well.

"To fight with honor until my last breath, as my vow decreed."

He was watching appreciatively as she slipped back into her bottoms.

"Your vow did not account for you being turned human."

"It matters not," he dismissed with another shrug.

"Yes it does! How could you even think of doing something like that? Didn't you think about what that would do to Rin? To me?"

Disappointed when she finally removed his haori to get into her own clothes, he soothed himself by admiring her breasts before she covered them.

"I stayed, did I not? And I planned on remaining, but in light of this new development; I am duty bound to return and assist my allies."

"So shouldn't you be there now then?" she asked, pulling her hair out of the collar of her shirt, and taming it.

"It is of little consequence. The moment I return, I shall kill anyone disloyal and claim victory. They no longer stand a chance."

The statement cut off her mini-tirade. He said it so casually, like it was nothing. Just like he used to.

Now that he had all his power back, how much had he actually changed?

"What about your allies?" she asked carefully. "Don't they need help?"

A blank stare was all she got from him, and she could not believe his callousness.

"Sesshoumaru! They are fighting for you, and you're just going to saunter on in at your leisure? What if they get killed?" Eying him warily, she wondered, "You really are back, aren't you?"

He'd made a lot of claims when he thought he was going to be human forever, but now that he had all his power back, would he still feel the same way?

The old Sesshoumaru didn't care about anyone besides himself, because he didn't need to.

Now that he was strong enough to take on the world alone, would everyone else be downgraded to insects once again?

Sensing her fears, he crossed back over to stand before her.

"I may look like the demon I once was, but trust that I am not." But she didn't look convinced, and he vowed to do more to assure her of this in the future. "I have changed, Kagome. There is no going back."

"Well in that case, you should have a little more consideration for those who are risking their lives to help you while you were weak." He took her admonishment into account, and that in itself should prove to her that he was not the demon he once was. Had she spoken such words to him previously, he would have killed her just on principle.

But he opted not to point that out to her.

"That is what I am doing, miko," he explained instead, stepping closer. "There is no one who helped me during this difficult time more that you. Therefore, you are my first priority." Embarrassed, and still a little peeved, Kagome turned away, only to find herself being guided back by the chin. "Everyone else can wait. I wish to attend to your contentment, and once satisfied with that; I will run to aid my allies."

She supposed that was reasonable. And, she would admit, promising. But his priorities could use a little work, flattering or not. They would work up to that.

"Well, I'm content," she assured him, "so go help them."

"Will you join me?"

It didn't slip his notice that she still hadn't answered his question. But talking hypothetically was one thing. There was no 'if' anymore, and the choices they made from here would have real consequences.

But she thought he'd at least want to settle in before arranging any forbidden rendezvous. Or at least win the battle he was apparently playing hooky from.

"In war?" she asked.

"Indeed. I can handle them on my own, however your aid would be greatly appreciated. None are a match for your sacred arrows, save _perhaps_ This One." He smirked at the flat glare he received, but kept going. "I assure you your safety, of course, and my undying protection. Though I am quite confident you will protect yourself adequately. Your power is formidable," he told her proudly, and placed both of his hands on her shoulders. " _You_ are formidable."

She was blushing, but it wasn't all due to his praise. Though she was dressed, he still had yet to reclaim his haori, and the proximity gave her the chance to compare his hard, demon body to his previous human form.

She thought he was built before, but the power he held now was actually visible in this larger frame. The stripes made him look dangerous and exotic, and she couldn't help but drift back to last night, and the talk they'd had about letting her compare the experience... as well as other things.

Well aware that he could scent her arousal, she forced the dirty images out of her head for later.

"And aside from that, I wish you to be there. To fight along my side as my equal, and after our victory, to become my mate."

Her stunned reaction was expected. She might have considered he would propose some sort of arrangement between the two of them, so that they may continue to address their sexual desires in secret after he returned. But that was nowhere near enough to satisfy him. Not anymore.

"I am not my father," he told her sternly. "And you are not Izayoi. I would not have you hidden away like a shameful secret, or helpless princess who cannot defend herself. I have faith in my people to see you for what you are; a strong, powerful, compassionate female worthy of being their lady. I have faith in your ability to protect yourself, and I have faith in myself to keep us both safe."

If he did not, he would never endanger her by suggesting such a thing. The only matter now, was if she had faith in him. If she trusted him as she claimed to, there was no reason for her to object.

"Besides," he continued darkly, a malicious grin reached his eyes, "once I am through trouncing my enemies, there will be none fool enough to dare so much as speak my name with inflection. I have two months of repressed youki to expel, and many slights to remedy."

And she would have to get used to that, too. His views on humanity had evolved, but justice would be carried out just as it always had. Mercy and punishment would be granted to those who deserved it, with no exceptions. On that, he would not falter. He had lands to run, after all.

But just because that hadn't changed, it didn't mean that he still hadn't. Though the look on her face concerned him. He worried he may have frightened her.

"Sesshoumaru, I-"

The sudden flaring of his youki was stifling, along with the brief panic that passed over his handsome features, and the combination warned of an approaching threat. Then, he turned toward the door just in time to see Toran barge in like she owned the place.

She wore a taunting smirk, though Kagome was beginning to wonder if her face didn't always look like that, as she strode across the room to join them.

"Wonderful, you two just won me a bet," she said casually. "Tell your little flea he owes me a bottle of blood wine."

Kagome had forgotten how chilling that icy glare really was, and paired with that dangerous tint to his youki reminded her of the old days and helped showcase how much he really changed after all. Toran didn't seem concerned, however, as he located his discarded haori and started to hastily put it on.

"Of course, you could have waited until after the battle was won. You left us to protect your gates while you were here, breaching the miko's."

Toran watched shamelessly as Sesshoumaru finished dressing, until she felt Kagome's glare burning into her from the side.

"Relax miko; it's nothing I haven't seen." She didn't seem appeased by the reminder, so Toran abandoned the reverse strip show to close in on the young woman. "Was the terrible warlord gentle with your fragile human body?"

Dominant, angry youki billowed out, expertly stealing away both of their attention.

"Ooh, back with a vengeance, I see," Toran mocked. "Calm down, you've got nothing to prove to me."

But she turned back to Kagome to assure her, "We shall talk later. I want to hear all about his sweet nothings and tender caress."

Before she could get another warning from the newly reinstated dog demon; she left the miko alone to perform a cursory scan of the hut.

"I see that I was unduly fraught when Myoga told me to expect you." The panther casually looked around, faintly interested but clearly unimpressed with the dwelling. "Of course, he told me you were human then. Had I known you were back; I would have dragged you home myself. We really could have used you."

"I would have been," he insisted as he finished up the knot on his obi, "I only changed at dawn."

"So what kept you?" She paused her snooping to inspect a strange bottle she found. "Couldn't be bothered to come defend your homestead in lieu of watching your human lover sleep? If you hadn't earned your father's mantle before, you certainly have now."

"He wanted to be there!" Kagome cut in defensively. "I asked him to stay. If he knew he was going to change back, you know he would have gone."

The demoness smirked amusedly before sliding her gaze to the youkai in question, finding him fully dressed.

He shot her another glare, but asked, "You were successful then, I assume?"

"You insult me. Of course I was successful," she boasted casually, as if bored. "Those low born nekos use the same old tricks; I sent them packing. The elementals are dead, your fortress stands, the West is secure."

"Casualties?" he demanded, as the panther inspected her claws.

"Minimal. A few brash soldiers, but no one of consequence. No innocents."

"And your warriors?"

"Just fine, thanks for asking!" She had an exaggerated saccharine smile to match her tone. She turned to Kagome again. "What did you do to him? He's so freaking considerate."

"The enemy?" he ordered, ignoring her insolence for the time being.

"Those not smart enough to retreat met their fates at my claws. Except for one." Hopeful ears picked up at the insinuation, and then she confirmed, "Your tiger is in the dungeons, just as you asked." Sesshoumaru smiled wickedly, giving both ladies a chill. "He is eagerly awaiting the lord of the manor's return."

"Alive?"

"But not well, I'm afraid. Your boys want his neck real bad; I had to pull them off him myself. If you wish to do the honors, I suggest you hurry. I told them he was yours, but the torture has already begun, and it's only a matter of time before one of your dogs goes too far."

That was a legitimate concern. His soldiers were strong and merciless, and restraint was rarely on the menu. They knew better than to defy any order he'd issued, but it was entirely possible for them to misjudge the fatal dose of whatever medicine they were giving him. Not to mention, they fucking hated cats.

It was also possible that if they still thought he was human; they might try to get cute.

"Hn, if only I had Tenseiga." It wouldn't be the first time he'd brought someone back just to kill them again.

"Hn, about that. Jaken!"

On the panther's word, the imp scuttled his way through the door with not one, but both of his master's swords.

They hadn't been there the night he'd found Rin, so he'd written them off as likely sold off or destroyed. That one tiger must have had them, and it was a pleasant surprise to have them returned.

"My lord, you've returned! I am so relieved." Running up to his feet, Jaken bowed his head and presented Sesshoumaru the weapons. He noted that they were shinier than the last time he'd seen them, but perhaps it was just his youkai vision still adjusting. "Here are your swords; I polished them for you."

The demon lord took them for inspection, and his vassal ran outside, quick to return with the armor he'd abandoned, in the cave. It also looked tended to, and Jaken had to struggle to carry the heavy equipment in, grunting when he placed it gently at his feet.

"That filthy tiger could not unlock their secrets, master. Of course, no one but Lord Sesshoumaru could- oh, miko-sama. How wonderful." He cut his groveling short upon lifting his head and seeing Kagome sitting on the edge of the futon. The acknowledgement, and likelihood of all the demons in the room being able to detect what had occurred last night caused a faint blush to stain her cheeks. "I see my lord has treated you well. I would expect no less, eh-heh."

The nervous laughter was offered as he attempted to gauge his lord covertly. He was thrilled he wouldn't have to make good on his threat and return to the mud hills; though when he said that the miko must be handled kindly, this wasn't exactly what he had in mind...

But just because his word was heeded, it did not mean that he wasn't in for a world of hurt for daring to confront him like he had. Time would tell.

"Jaken." Or maybe his time was up already. He cast a wary glance upward.

"Go fetch Rin and prepare for the trip West." Sighing heavily in relief, he heard the underlying statement in his master's command. 'We're going home.'

"Yes milord."

He shuffled quickly to the door, but the hard edge in Sesshoumaru's tone stopped him right before he made it.

"And Jaken." He froze, wincing. He didn't need to hear the rest. "We will be speaking later."

"Y-yes milord," he bowed, and completed his escape.

"You picked a good time to change back," said Toran. "News of your humanity is spreading, but you can come put those notions to rest before any real damage was done."

Sesshoumaru threw his armor on for the first time in months, and began to strap it on.

He hadn't missed the chore of fastening it. At least he had two hands now.

"I want a report on every dissenter." Toran nodded in acquiescence. "Even a hint of disloyalty or doubt in This One must be brought to my attention."

As he continued fussing with his armor, he flashed a glance over to Kagome who had been sitting quietly on the bed throughout all the commotion.

"I must get to that tiger before my general gives him too quick a death," he explained when he caught her eye. There was a hint of apology in his tone. "I know it is sudden, but grab what you wish to bring, and I will procure anything you need once we are there."

"About my council position?" Toran prompted before the miko could give a response.

He turned back to her, finally finished with his armor, and grabbed his weaponry.

"May I get my swords on please, before I start appointing cabinet?"

She rolled her eyes as he began to arrange them in his obi.

"Sorry, we just saved your lands, while you've been on vacation." She earned her iciest glare yet for that insinuation, as if this had been some fun trip and not a nightmare death march from hell. Though last night was pretty good.

"Seriously, for a guy who just got laid..." Toran paused to sample the air, " _Three_ times, you think you'd be a little less snippy. Maybe you should-"

Suddenly, all the open space in the hut was replaced with terrifying demonic youki. It was so thick and powerful, it felt like they were drowning in it, and two sets of frightened eyes snapped pleadingly to the perpetrator.

Ah, there it was. Raw, justified fear. How he'd missed that.

"Toran..." he began darkly, actually making her consider retreating a step as he took one closer. His voice, his eyes, his youki all screamed danger as he loomed closer, and she wondered if after all these years, she'd finally pushed him past his limits.

Kagome watched on with concern to see how this was going to play out.

He put a strong, clawed hand on the panther's shoulder, and held her wary gaze.

"Your assistance has been paramount," he told her then, causing her brows to furrow. "I could not have succeeded without you. I value your service to me in the battle, and everything you have done up until that. I am proud to call you my ally... as well as my friend. There are none who could ever replace you, and I shall be eternally grateful."

As scared as she was at the beginning of this exchange, it only bolstered as he continued. Wide-eyed and uneasy, she was actually silent for a moment as his statement registered.

If this was how to get the panther to shut up, he would have done it ages ago. Sesshoumaru shot a smug look Kagome's way, pleased to display that he had indeed changed. She looked just as taken aback as the panther.

Toran looked her way as well. "Okay, whatever you did to him, stop it. He's creeping me out."

"Will you be joining me for my homecoming," he wondered, and released his grip on her shoulder. "or need you return to your ranks?"

"No, I can come. Are we leaving now?"

"This very moment," he confirmed. Toran nodded in understanding as they headed toward the door.

"Alright, but once we land, I need to brief you on that demon magic they used. Tricky stuff, but we-"

"Kagome."

She'd been uncharacteristically quiet, but things were moving fast. He hoped when he called her, it would snap her from her reverie and into action, but as she turned her troubled features toward the doorway; she remained seated.

He waited expectantly for her to rise and join him, quickly becoming impatient and gesturing not-so-subtly with his eyes to the door beside him. She appeared to be paralyzed, however. Lips slightly parted; she seemed both unable to stand, or explain why she wasn't doing so.

"Are you coming?" he finally asked.

That's when he saw it. That sheen in her eyes he'd mistaken for apprehension was something he'd grown to loathe even more, and come to know all too well. He should have seen it sooner.

She wasn't coming.

For what she showed him now so clearly was the apology he never wanted, the guilt and shame that went along with it. He'd seen enough of that from her, and hoped never to again.

He thought, after last night...

He was a fool.

He knew she wouldn't want him when he was fully demon again, he knew it in his bones. But he went against his better judgement once again, and once again he would suffer for it. Would he never learn?

It wasn't her fault, she likely thought she could look past it. She probably even wished she could. But when faced with the cold hard reality of what he was, to be reminded of what he'd done and who he'd truly been day in and day out... she could not be blamed.

No, he was the one at fault here. He let himself buy into her idealistic vision because he wanted to believe it. He let her flowery optimism rub off on him, and he was weaker for it. This was the danger of entangling one's self with humanity. This is what makes strong youkai weak.

Because now, the fullness he'd enjoyed, the completion he'd been riding high on was slowly seeping away, exposing raw nerves to the cold bite of reality, and reminding him of every empty space that could never again be filled.

Had he not met her, he never would have known it could ever feel another way, and he wouldn't be cursed with the knowledge of what he couldn't have. Such things, he was reminded once more, were not for him. It was just cruel of the fates to rub his nose in it.

Where they so bored that they saw fit to taunt him thus on a seemingly constant basis? He supposed he did have much to answer for in this life...

But at least now he knew for certain; if he could make himself human again this very instant, never to return to his youkai form; he wouldn't even have to think about it. His power, his immortality, they were useless to him now. Love did exist, he now knew, and it wasn't for him. Neither was happiness.

But they never had been, and he had responsibilities to see to. Duties to perform. He would immerse himself in his lands once again, and try to pass the time doing something useful. He would endure.

"We are ready milord!" Jaken could be heard squawking right outside the hut's door. Toran opened the flap after casting a pensive glance at Sesshoumaru, and walked through it. "We must hurry if you wish to meet your prisoner. Everyone is waiting for you, milord."

He caught the flap before it closed, but held the miko's sapphire gaze a moment more.

She still hadn't spoken, but she didn't need to. He had too much dignity to beg, or offer unkind words, or even express his regret. Carefully crafted mask in place, he simply relayed his understanding with the slight inclining of his head, and left.

Leading the way, Jaken scrambled ahead to the clearing where Rin and Ah-Un were preparing for flight. Sesshoumaru fell in step with Toran, trying to keep his thoughts as ordered as possible, when suddenly a small piece of parchment obscured his vision.

"What is this?" he asked, taking it from her to peruse.

"The recipe for that demon magic they were using. Coward cracked under the most pedestrian torture techniques. Hoped we'd let him go before you arrived."

"Fool," he said, earning a smirk from the panther.

"Indeed. This could prove very valuable."

But the youkai lord seemed not to agree, and dismissively returned the parchment.

"No. I have no use for such, and I will not permit the sacrifice of human women for some pathetic magic."

Magic was for mortals, and those too weak to accumulate their own power through training and conquest. Much like the Shikon, it was a cheat code that only announced to the world how weak the user truly was. He pushed the jewel viciously from his thoughts.

"Obviously, I meant we can begin experimenting on a way to counteract it." She tucked the recipe away as the dragon came into view. Rin was securing the last of her things. "This was a setback, but those pumas will stop at nothing to overthrow my father, and now it is clear they have designs on the other lands as well. This will leave them relatively defenseless."

Every potion had an antidote, and every magic had a counterpart. All those weak nekos had going for them was their deceptive little tricks, and once they cracked the code to their latest concoction, they'd be off licking their wounds somewhere out of his hair. For now, at least.

"Hn. Acceptable. I leave it for you to see over. Report any findings directly to me."

"Since when do I take orders from you?" she asked petulantly. Sesshoumaru raised a brow.

"You are on my council, are you not?"

They reached Ah-Un just as Rin was mounting, and stopped, facing each other while Jaken preformed the last of his safety measures.

"Council members are equals." The panther crossed her arms defiantly.

With an air of superiority, Sesshoumaru agreed. "Yes, under my supervision. That is why it is my council."

She smirked wryly as he dared her to challenge him, before he turned to test the saddle himself with a few good tugs.

"It's good to have you back," she said amusedly. Then she dropped her mocking cadence. "You don't know how worried I was."

She'd seen him in some tight spots over the years, but she'd very nearly lost him this time. It was pure luck he'd survived this debacle, and if any number of things had gone the wrong way... It had been far too close for comfort.

Pleased with the saddle, he threw a look over his shoulder and met her eyes meaningfully. "I can imagine."

And as cool and calm as he appeared, she knew he had been scared too. Good luck getting him to admit it, though.

If she wasn't watching so intently, Toran never would have seen his gaze flick back toward the huts.

"You want me to talk to her?" she offered, then forced a mischievous smile to lighten the mood. "I can be very persuasive."

"Something I know more than most," he teased back. But she could tell his heart wasn't in it. "No, leave her be. She has made her decision."

She knew Sesshoumaru would not appreciate her pity, but she really did feel bad for the guy. From their brief interactions, she could tell the connection the two shared was profound. The miko was more than just some hot piece of mortal ass he used to make the days go by while he was stuck there.

He cared about that girl, and that was something the youkai lord just didn't do. The emotionally inexperienced dog was getting his first taste of heartbreak, and it hurt her to see it. She was compelled to comfort him.

"Our instincts tell us quickly that which humans need time to think over. She'll come around." It sounded like a platitude to her own ears, however, so she was certain he was feeling patronized.

He arched his brow. "You think to educate me on the ways of humans? I am rather an expert."

"So you know it's nothing to worry about," she countered with a smile. His good-humored haughtiness was chased off when darkness fell over his features, however.

"I know if someone attempted to kill me several times when I was mortal, I would not be so fool as to follow them blindly into their domain, let alone desert my life to do so."

He didn't know why he expected that to be appealing to her. Kagome was beholden to no one, free and clear to go where she pleased and do as she wished, just like his brother.

He had to live as he did, but even he didn't enjoy it. Why would she? He just thought-

"That's exactly what you did, isn't it?"

Shaking himself mentally, he registered her expectant features and scoffed.

"Hardly. I had no choice but to follow them; I woke up in a cave with nothing but debt to pay and a score to settle." And a little girl to find. That seemed like so long ago now.

"Because she saved your life," Toran pointed out. "Sounds to me like she wasn't too hung up on the murder attempts."

No, but he attributed her assistance to her miko duty. She took a vow to heal all humans. Were he himself, she'd have likely let him freeze.

"I wasn't youkai when she found me."

"So? As far as she knew, you were still that same bastard. She had nothing but your history to draw from."

Sesshoumaru regarded the stubborn panther before him. The youkai was relentless, he'd give her that. That was good; it would come in handy for what he had planned.

He surprised her by grabbing her at the waist, and hoisted her up to sit behind Rin on the saddle before she could protest.

"Ride with Rin," he ordered. "Then when we arrive, you may speak to me of human women with some authority."

She glared at his pleased little smirk, but wasn't about to turn down a free dragon ride. She'd been traveling a lot lately, and needed to save her energy.

After a few excited words from his charge, he held his pre-flight meeting with the crew. When they were through, he turned to meet the aura he could feel approaching.

Inuyasha had come alone, as the monk and slayer had left for the market before Toran's arrival. He'd been asked to stay to offer proper farewells, but since he'd kind of given them yesterday, he felt no need. They were on a time crunch as it was. "Hey, you need any help?"

"No, everything is well in hand," the inuyoukai replied. "I simply must go reclaim what is mine, and clean up any messes left in my absence. I am certain it wouldn't interest you."

"Yeah, you're probably right about that," he agreed sheepishly, averting his eyes. "But I'd still go there if you need me."

The hanyou fumbled awkwardly, and didn't seem to know quite what to do with his hands. Eventually, he settled on tucking them into his sleeves.

"I will keep that in mind," Sesshoumaru said, slightly amused.

"For anything," he added, seemingly unsatisfied with his statement. "The offer stands, is all I'm saying."

The demon lord studied his half-brother, and wondered if his daiyoukai status was responsible for his obvious discomfort. He was stronger once more, but he would never again turn his might on the halfling and his friends. He owed them far too much to even consider it.

He watched on as the hanyou awkwardly shuffled a rock around with his bare foot.

"Inuyasha-"

"Don't."

Creasing his brow, Sesshoumaru persisted. "I simply-"

"You don't need to okay, it'd be weird." His face twisted into a scowl as he looked at the ground. "Just, you're welcome, alright?"

He watched the boy fluster with increasing amusement, but inclined his head. "Very well."

Watching Jaken struggle to mount his steed, Sesshoumaru graciously snatched the staff away from the vertically challenged youkai so he could scramble behind the reins. With obnoxious gratitude, he reclaimed the item from his lord.

"In addition, should you ever need assistance from This One, you need only ask it."

He turned back to his brother, who apparently intended to see them off.

"Though from what I have seen, I do not anticipate you will. You have a strong pack, and they are a reflection of their alpha." At Inuyasha's startled reaction, Sesshoumaru's lips ticked downward.

"Considering the lack of guidance in your upbringing, it is a rather impressive feat. But even the strongest of us need aid at times." With the hanyou entranced, he held his gaze meaningfully. "Should it come to pass; do not hesitate."

When the shock of disbelief wore off, Inuyasha appeared to be pleased. When he gave a single nod, Sesshoumaru was pleased as well, and prepared to summon his cloud for flight.

His brother's voice stopped him, however.

"Are you coming back?" he asked hopefully. "Like, to visit or anything?"

Slightly taken aback, the youkai lord judged that the offer was not made of generosity, but gave the only answer he could. "If I am welcome."

"What kind of stupid thing to say is that? Of course you are." His vehement anger was not expected, but considering who he was talking to, that was his mistake. The hot-headed youth tempered himself quickly, however.

"It's gonna be weird not having you with us." Sesshoumaru could tell the admission did not come easily. "We kinda got used to having you around." Unable to contain his blush, the hanyou added, "I know the houshi's gonna be heartbroken."

True, the monk had big plans for Sesshoumaru, mostly consisting of ensnaring females from the nearby villages. He also seemed to enjoy his companionship as his hut mate, and it was not an entirely one-sided sentiment.

But it didn't take a genius to see that the monk was his proxy. Inuyasha was too embarrassed to acknowledge the new nature of their relationship, not to mention Kagome.

He didn't exactly know where this left them, but he got the message for now. The ball was in her court, and until she made her desires clear, he would give her the space she wanted. He'd encroached quite enough for the time being.

"You may do well to consult your pack before speaking for them. It will be much more difficult to forget who I am without my human disguise."

Inuyasha could hear the resentment in his stern warning, and furrowed his brow.

"They don't care that you're demon. Most especially not her." When he didn't reply, the hanyou tilted his head. "You really think she's prejudice?"

Sesshoumaru lightened his tone, and forced the smallest of smiles to quirk at his lips.

"No, I am quite certain your pack determines worthy associates based on demonstrated behavior. Wisely, I might add."

Inuyasha frowned at his assessment. Sure, he'd done some bad things to all of them, but no one more than him. That felt like so long ago, and if he could forget about it, why shouldn't she?

Then again, she was getting a lot closer to the bastard than he would ever agree to.

"I'd say you have a pretty good record lately. How long's it take to cancel out a few bad moves?"

The hanyou looked like he genuinely wanted to know. To be honest, so did he.

"I suppose we shall see," Sesshoumaru replied. "Though some things can never be forgiven." 'And probably shouldn't.'

"Sesshoumaru! Wait!"

The brothers turned towards the sound to find Kagome running up the trail as fast as she could. Something inside Sesshoumaru switched back on, and a feeling he thought was gone forever spread through his aching insides like a balm. He straightened, but remained passive, as he eagerly awaited her arrival.

"Kagome-sama!" Rin announced happily as the miko approached the steed. "You came to say goodbye!"

"I did," she confirmed with a smile. Suddenly, the balm inside him was removed, exposing raw nerves to the elements once more.

Would he never learn? He'd just gone through this, and he let foolish hope set him up to fall yet again. He got what he deserved.

Sesshoumaru looked down at her stoically, mouth set in a firm line as she beamed up at him. Then, she turned to his brother, and pulled him into a vicious hug.

"Goodbye!"

"You're going?" he asked, returning the embrace.

She pulled away, still holding him, and broke into an easy smile.

"For a while. I need to make sure Rin is okay." Then, with a glance, she gestured her head. "And him."

He looked at his brother for confirmation, but Sesshoumaru didn't say anything. His placid mask made him as hard to read as ever as he simply watched the scene play out before him.

"Tell the others I'll be back to visit soon," she instructed. With a frown, Inuyasha pulled her to him again.

"Alright, but if I don't hear nothing after a couple days, I'm coming to find you, okay?"

"I'll send word when I'm settled." She removed herself with a painful wince that showed her teeth. "Oh, and uh, sorry about using your bed."

There was no way he didn't know, so best to nip that in the bud before she took off.

The half demon glared at her, then his brother for good measure, before a smirk broke through.

"That's okay. Your sleeping bag was really comfortable. Fits two people perfectly."

"Doesn't it?" Sesshoumaru agreed, distracting from the miko's aggrieved reaction.

She supposed she couldn't really complain, all things considered. But still...

"Take it to my mother, she'll take care of it." Then, after a moment of thought, she added, "But tell her it wasn't me!"

The next time her mother asked her, she wouldn't be able to deny it. As such, it would probably be a while before she went home and put herself through that conversation. At least she got the birth control like she wanted. That was actually a really good move.

"Sure will."

But from his placating grin, Kagome had her doubts. 'No, you won't.'

Turning her attention back to the demon lord beside her, she flashed another smile, only to be met with the same stony glare she had been receiving since she got there.

"Ready?" she asked nervously.

She'd forgotten how intimidating he could be. With his armor and swords made him look even larger, and more like he was than ever. Not to mention the triumphant return of his silvery-white mane.

She'd really missed that, and wondered if he'd let her take a few liberties with it later on...

But then again, maybe not. He said he'd changed, but old Sesshoumaru was back with a vengeance as he shrunk her where she stood with that simmering summer gaze. She squirmed under his scrutiny, and wondered if perhaps he needed to keep up appearances while in public. Just because he took a human, didn't mean he was going to start acting super soft in front of everyone.

Finally, he released her from the torment by wrapping long fingers around the strap at her shoulder. With the bow he'd given her securely affixed to her backpack, he relieved her of it, and handed it over to Jaken to find a place for.

As he summoned his cloud, Kagome enjoyed the burst of power whipping up around them. Her reiki came alive, yearning to seek it out to mingle and play instead of repelling it like it usually did. But she kept it in check. She didn't want to interfere with the flight until she knew he could handle it.

As they put distance between them and the cold, hard earth below; she grabbed ahold of his armor very carefully, and plastered herself against him. They were so exposed up there, and with only faint wisps of opaque cloud separating her from certain doom; her stomach was twirling so bad she had to slam her eyes shut to concentrate on not getting nauseous.

A gentle, steadying hand at the small of her back made her muscles relax instantly. She lifted her gaze to offer a thankful smile, but he seemed more interested in the pathway ahead. She supposed he was technically the driver.

She allowed herself to stare for a moment. The strong, determined jawline against the sunny blue sky made for a majestic sight. Not to mention the magenta streaking across his cheekbones to let you know he was something wild. She wanted to touch them, to make his demon senses come alive in a way he had been denied for months now, but she refrained. She figured she'd better not fuss with him while their fates were in his hands. She didn't know if he was out of practice flying, or whatever.

Glancing down, she noticed they were taking a relatively low flight path. She could see the people below them so clearly as they passed by that she could recognize certain faces.

In the past, she noticed he usually traveled much higher than that, and deduced he likely stayed low for her comfort when he saw how tense she had gotten.

That was sweet of him, but also perhaps explained why he was being so standoffish. People could see them, and appearing weak could mean trouble for them both. She didn't like it, but she understood.

"Why did you do that?"

He broke the silence minutes into flight, and drew Kagome's attention away from the dragon flying behind them, but way up above. "What?"

"You did not say anything," he clarified with a frown. He was still looking off ahead, but his brow was furrowed. "You just sat there. You made me very insecure."

Her eyebrows both rose at the admission, not to mention the strange way it sounded coming out of that mouth.

"Sesshoumaru?" she asked incredulously. "The Great Inu Lord of the West, _insecure_? How did I manage that?"

She smiled as she taunted him, but he was clearly discomfited.

"Because," he replied, "This One is..." She watched him struggle, and grow frustrated with himself as a result.

"What?"

"Youkai," he bit out, finally looking down at her.

There was a fierceness in those golden eyes that was at once foreign and familiar.

"You're youkai?" she asked flatly.

A stiff nod was his reply.

"You're insecure because you're a demon?"

"And always will be," he reminded her harshly, and gestured behind them. "That man you claimed to love is not coming back."

She scowled at the notion, and lifted her chin confidently. "He never left."

"I am not a man."

"But you're _my_ man." Her aggressive response stunned him, and she softened. "Being demon doesn't change that."

He still looked unconvinced as she smoothed her hands over his silk-clad upper chest, so she sighed.

"Do you feel any different than you did last night?" she asked.

"Yes."

Another annoyed huff, and she rolled her eyes. "About me?"

Pausing a moment, he finally answered, "No."

"Neither do I."

He continued to look at her consideringly. Mindful of his armor, she stretched up to slide her arms around his neck, and crossed her wrists.

In an act of surrender, he let his muscles relax slightly, and wrapped his other hand around her hips.

"Then why did you hesitate?"

"Because they killed your father for loving a human woman," she answered gravely. "If anything happened to you, it would kill me."

It was clear her response displeased him, but when he looked away scowling; she finally brushed the sensitive markings at his cheekbone. "But I know you would never put me through that. So if you want me to come West, I know you will be okay. I trust you to keep us safe."

His fingers twitched at her back as he felt every empty place inside him fill with her warmth yet again. For she was right. He would not bring her if he thought it was dangerous for her, and that she recognized that – that she trusted him – meant everything.

"I know your dad was strong, so no offense or anything, but anyone who thinks they can take you down like him is about to learn without ambiguity that his son is even stronger."

Her declaration struck him with its simplicity, but also, it was a valid argument. As he weighed her words, she gazed up at him lovingly, and stroked his sensitive markings until thinking became difficult.

"As long as I'm breathing beside you, that will be all the proof anyone should ever need."

It was true. He'd been robbed of his chance to prove to the world he had surpassed his father in strength. To compensate, he vowed to show he was not weakened to mortal sympathies like his sire had been, and it was a hollow and unfulfilling endeavor.

But he didn't need to kill him. His proof was right in front of him.

Kagome wouldn't be hidden away like Izayoi had been. She will be displayed proudly, and no one would so much as consider touching a hair on her head. Especially not after what he was about to do to that tiger in his dungeons...

His father hadn't been strong enough to keep his human, but he would be. And as long as she remained, she would be a testament to his superiority. He would do what his father could not.

A ravenous look she knew all too well was seeping into honey depths, reminiscent of the way violet used to relay his hunger. He dipped his head low, until soft, eager lips met with his own, and twin muffled moans signified their relief.

Her power sparked, taunting and coaxing in smooth rolls up and down his form, while his - darker and thicker - sought to tame and caress until every part of her body felt alive.

* * *

The dragon's cargo had a front row seat to the show in the sky. A glance down would tell them that the villagers below had a pretty good view themselves, as several were stopping to stare at the Lord of the West devouring a human miko as he floated merrily by. Though she did not look to be minding it one bit.

Whether the rest of the world did was irrelevant. Sesshoumaru had come to find out that species was not an indicator by which to judge merit, for there were good examples on both sides, just as well as detestable ones. He'd met shameful, vile youkai vermin on his travels, as well as some very lovely humans, and everything in between. So long as everyone acknowledged that he was a being of unmatched power who would reign supreme, that was all that mattered.

Perhaps that wasn't _all_ that mattered. He'd found other things worth fighting for on his journey as well. Other things to live for, and hold dear.

But his power was sure going to make it easier to keep them.

Once an example was made of his prisoner, he doubted any would have an unkind word to say about his mate-to-be, so let them watch. Enjoy the show! He wanted everyone to know.

Rin and Toran shared an approving smile, while ahead of them, Jaken went on about how much his lord and master took his words to heart.

"... I told him to treat her kindly, so my influence allowed the romance to foster! Surely he will show lenience for my audacity, as I made a show of loyalty early on to the future Western Lady. Or at least miko-sama may lobby on my behalf..."

But as the little toad blathered on about foresight and mud hills, Toran and Rin watched the youkai who meant so much to them, and recognized that for the first time, he was whole.

He said a piece of him had been missing on the nights he transformed. But a piece of him had always been missing. Sesshoumaru was a youkai who coveted, but no matter how much he obtained, he was never satisfied.

He'd found his missing piece, and she was clinging to him like her life depended on it - it was doubtful being on solid ground again would change that.

The pair was cursed by the duties they were bound to; such it is with beings of great power. But now, they let the rest of world fall away, and finally knew contentedness in each other's arms; finally knew completion. They were finally happy.

Once briefly allowed a respite from the youkai tongue that sought to sample and savor her anew, Kagome pulled him closer, hugging him tight and resting her chin on his shoulder in pure elation.

She opened her eyes to see the small audience they had gathered, and Toran's condemning smirk taunted from afar.

Instead of becoming embarrassed, the miko held her gaze defiantly, and turned her head enough to give his elfin ear a good, thorough lick.

Sesshoumaru shuddered, faltering a bit as his knees weakened in response. Toran smirked even harder, eyes shining with approval as the miko suddenly found herself much too occupied to posture.

The panther shifted her gaze to Rin. "I like her."

* * *

Back at the village, Miroku and Sango returned from the market to hear their friends had gone. Sango worried for Kagome's safety out West, while Miroku bemoaned them leaving before he got to say goodbye. But as promised, Inuyasha assured that Kagome would return soon to visit. She might even bring that bastard with her, who knows?

As they rested by the campfire, a large orange ball came zooming in at wild speeds. When it reached them, it popped in mid-air, and their youngest packmate appeared in his grandest entrance yet, bonus one tail from the last time they'd seen him.

"Hey guys!" Shippo announced excitedly. "I got a leave from kitsune school to come visit! What'd I miss?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol, sorry shippo! no room for you in this story.
> 
> Has anyone else made you read 500,000 words before the poor couple gets to fuck? guess that makes me a dick.
> 
> There will be an epilogue, so stay tuned! Was there anything I forgot to wrap up? anything you want to see me touch on before I go? let me know in the comments, and I'll try and satisfy you.
> 
> If you've enjoyed this fic, hit the kudos button, hit the fav button, follow me to see what other sesskag stories I come up with. while you wait, check out my other stories and hit the buttons there... and leave a comment, tell me how I did. what you liked, what you didn't like, tell me you hate me, tell me about your cat... I'm bored over here, but your reviews have been a joy to read, so thank you all!


	36. Another One for the Books

**Epilogue**

Spring

Sesshoumaru avoided another strike, flamboyantly flipping out of harm's way, only to arrive on his bare feet once more with not a hair out of place. Steep cuts of magenta disappeared into the waist of his hakama and drew attention to the defined V low on his torso. Each time he landed, the material slid down his hips just a little, earning an appreciative sound from the women on the sidelines.

They sat together in the grass and watched the match play out; previous conversation forgotten as soon as the dog demons started to strip.

"Mmm," Kagome finally said after several minutes. "I could watch this all day." She scratched at her hip – right where her scar used to be – but she assumed it was psychosomatic.

After Sesshoumaru changed back for good, she wasted no time before making another wish on the Shikon to ensure that her last wish was indeed complete. This time, it worked.

She commanded the jewel to _begone_ , so that it couldn't cause anyone – her especially – any more trouble than it already had. She had expected it to simply vanish, but instead was surprised when it embedded itself painlessly back into her side, right where it used to be.

The Shikon's return to her body had a couple of side-effects; one being that the ugly scar she'd gotten from Mistress Centipede had instantly disappeared. It was like the whole thing never happened, but the scars that remained – though not visible to the eye – would serve as an ample reminder, and likely never heal completely.

The second was she would no longer be affected by time. She'd played pretty fast and loose with the laws of space time as it was, but in addition to being able to continue traveling back and forth between the two eras, she had also stopped aging for good.

She wasn't immortal by any means. She could break her neck or bleed out just like anyone else, but old age would never claim her. She wasn't sure how she felt about that, until she saw the look of pure happiness on her mate-to-be's face when she told him the news.

The third, and most annoying side-effect was that sometimes, it itched like hell. But she was fairly confident that part was all in her head.

"Not me," Sango replied, and Kagome raised her brow. "I'm about ten minutes away from declaring a draw and dragging him off to one of the huts to celebrate."

They giggled together and turned their attention back to the shirtless spar where it belonged.

"I love seeing him work up a sweat," the slayer added, expression growing more salacious. "The way he swings that sword is almost sexual."

Clashing metal and grunting sounds could be heard in the distance, followed by a few colorful words. The women continued to gaze appreciatively, an unspoken understanding that conversational manners were not currently required.

"They do it on purpose," the miko said after another moment. But as she spoke, neither removed their attention from the heated mock battle taking place. "They know we get off on this, so they totally play it up for the crowd."

"Are you complaining?" Sango asked, and Kagome shook her head.

"Not in the slightest."

Inuyasha blocked a heavy blow from Sesshoumaru's sword, and the impasse left both inu locked in a show of force. Muscles bulged as they tried to overpower one another, stomachs and arms flexed as they applied their strength, resulting in an attractive display of dog demon anatomy.

"So, how are they treating you over there?"

Kagome finally tore her gaze away from the alluring sight to give her good friend her attention. She could see the other stuff – and more - when she got home. Like, the second she got home.

"Wonderfully," she replied with a smile. "You know, he really built it up to be some dangerous, hostile environment, but everyone's been perfectly nice. In fact, it seems like they are tripping over themselves to accommodate me."

Sango turned to her, smirking. "After what you did to that tiger, it doesn't surprise me. We heard about that all the way out here, and it's still the main topic of conversation out in the village."

Kagome shrugged, sighing softly as she replied. "Yes, I'm sorry it came to that, but it had to be done." Her friend nodded in agreement before she added, "And it gave me a chance to demonstrate what my holy powers can accomplish when properly motivated."

Another reason the demons out West were wary of upsetting her. Sesshoumaru was quite pleased at the early gratuitous showcasing of her abilities.

"But still, it was so gruesome." Sango grimaced, remembering the story she was told. "I expect that kind of thing from Sesshoumaru, but you..."

"Hey, you threaten my loved ones, you pay the price. And now everyone knows it." Sango seemed to accept that rationale as an unholy smirk creeped up the miko's lips. "Besides, after what Sesshoumaru put him through, I consider it an act of mercy."

The demon slayer saw the glint in her friend's eye and realized something.

She was obviously a good influence on her daiyoukai lover, but it became clear that he was rubbing off on her as well. She couldn't say it was a bad thing, but just hoped the two both ended up somewhere in the middle... Or maybe closer to Kagome's side would be good.

"Well, we're going to miss you, killer," she joked. "It won't be the same here without you. In fact, everything's different now." With a bemused look, she asked, "Who would have guessed a few months ago that I'd break up with Miroku for Inuyasha, and you'd be moving in with Sesshoumaru to become Lady of the Western Lands?"

Kagome smiled, but didn't respond. Firstly, because they both knew the answer to that. If anyone would have suggested such a thing, they would have been dropped off at this era's version of a crazy house to have their head examined.

Second, because she didn't have an opinion on the whole 'Western Lady' thing yet.

She knew what would be expected of her, but she wasn't entirely sure she wanted that for herself. She wanted to help, and it helped to have influence, but... she needed to think about it.

But she had plenty of time. She and Sesshoumaru hadn't even mated yet, and those plans were still a long way off. For now, they just wanted to have fun and not worry about all that. They felt they'd earned it.

"Speaking of the feudal era's hottest demon lord... how's the sex?"

Kagome grinned shyly, face turning pink as she cut a glance over to Sesshoumaru to make sure he wasn't listening.

She hadn't had any women to talk to about sex since, well, having it. And after only a couple weeks, she was quickly becoming an expert in the subject.

But she didn't know what kinds of things were okay to talk about. What was considered TMI, and what Sesshoumaru might not appreciate her divulging.

"Feral," she finally went with. That appeared to be the right answer.

"Ugh, I know! What is it in that dog demon gene that makes them such passionate lovers?" They both looked over at their partners and became excited at finally having someone who shared similar experiences. "I actually feel bad for all those poor bigoted women who condemn us for our 'sinful affiliations.' They are really missing out."

And Sango was even happier that she had finally come around, and was no longer one of those women she pitied.

"I don't feel bad," Kagome said dismissively. "Let them have their mediocre sex life. More for us, am I right?"

The taijiya smiled at her newly indoctrinated friend, and her less than apologetic attitude. She wondered how much of the new her came from having sex, and how much of it came from being around Sesshoumaru so much.

"I don't know how much more I could handle. Sometimes Inuyasha keeps me occupied all night, and well into the next day."

"I know," the miko agreed, loving having someone who could relate. "I don't call it his 'speed stripe' because he's done quick, that's for sure."

The two indulged in another giggle fit, trying to keep it down so as not to gain the attention of their sharp hearing significant others.

They finally caught their breath again, and that's when Sango smiled kindly at her friend. "I'm so happy everything worked out for us. If things keep going as they are, we might end up being sisters."

When Kagome smiled back, it was genuine. Because she never thought there would come a day where she could talk about her and Inuyasha's love life without the accompanying heartache, or resentment eating her from the inside. But it really didn't bother her anymore. It hadn't for a while.

She had almost lost both of her best friends for that reason, and she was so happy that she didn't.

As for the sisters part, that was looking more likely by the day. Not that it would really change much. Because-

"I always felt like we were."

Another pleasant, friendly smile was shared between them, where a hundred things were said without being spoken.

Finally, Sango broke the spell.

"Okay, tell me more about this 'speed stripe'..."

* * *

With Sesshoumaru becoming increasingly distracted, Inuyasha finally put an end to their spar.

As they were no longer trying to kill each other, these matches ended up being more about showing off than practicing any real attacks. So when the daiyoukai started holding back his obnoxious flair he loved to flaunt, Inuyasha called it a day.

But as they walked back to edge of the clearing to retrieve their shed garments, he had that odd look on his face again. Then, the bastard smirked.

"Hey," he said again, and his brother finally looked up. "You eavesdropping on the girls again?"

Sesshoumaru's silence was incriminating, but the hanyou was willing to drop it as they started donning their haoris.

"I was trying to thank you for your help last week. Sorry I had to bug ya, but that elemental-"

"Think nothing of it."

Inuyasha frowned, and found insecurity in the silence that ensued.

"I mean, I coulda handled him myself-"

"Of course," he cut in, as he focused on getting his shirt on neatly. "Every elemental is under This One's surveillance for the foreseeable future. I should be thanking you for bringing it to my attention."

The brief eye contact snapped the younger inu back into action, and he started dressing faster.

"Yeah, well, I doubt we'll be seeing him again, or any of his kind for that matter."

"I should hope not."

Sesshoumaru was ready for his obi while his brother played catch-up, but the hanyou slowed long enough to offer a wicked grin.

"Especially after what happened to that tiger." Sesshoumaru grunted in agreement while Inuyasha shook his head. "People are still talking about that shit. I mean, I expect that from you, but Kagome?"

"All will learn she is not to be trifled with sooner or later," he said, joining his brother in a smirk. His eyes twinkled with amusement, and pride. "I am fortunate to have discovered this early."

The two were in agreement. That seemed to be happening more often these days.

One toed into his boots while the other grabbed his obi.

"How's she doing?" Inuyasha asked, casting a quick look down the field where the females were still chatting.

"Did she not just tell you?"

"I want to know what you think."

That was happening more often these days as well. Whether or not his opinion was ever of any consequence to the hanyou before, only now did he actively seek it out.

This, like many things, was a subject he was well-versed in.

"I think... she is happy."

And as a result, so was he. Inuyasha recognized this, and then it made three of them.

"Yeah, well, if you're taking her from me, then she better be. Make my suffering worth it, or you'll be the one who suffers."

The daiyoukai raised a brow at the half-hearted threat, though he in no way doubted its authenticity. It was a moot point regardless.

With his swords tucked away, he watched Inuyasha finish his knot, and gave the boy a good once over.

"You do not seem overly distraught," he observed. "In fact, I have never seen you looking so well. How are you and the slayer faring?"

"Great," he replied, grinning. "Better than ever. I need to thank you again."

"You do not."

"No." His countenance became serious, and Sesshoumaru braced himself to receive his brother's gratitude. It was still a bit awkward to endure.

"If it wasn't for you, I'd have never gotten the nerve to tell her how I felt. You sniffed me out and fixed things up right away." He dropped his gaze long enough to tuck away his sword, but continued. "Despite almost fucking her, that was the best thing anyone's ever done for me, and we're happy, so thank you."

Sesshoumaru frowned. The whelp continued to insist that he had done something to assist him; to intervene on his behalf. He denied this up and down, but when pressed as to why he had spoken to her that night, he could not generate a valid reason.

He supposed it was worth examining, but every time he tried, another portion of that evening derailed his analysis, and left him leaden with remorse. It was a most unsettling feeling.

"I do regret taking her to the springs with me," he confessed suddenly. "It was juvenile and malicious."

Inuyasha's eyes widened noticeably, and he stilled. He hadn't been expecting that, but after taking in his brother's earnest expression, his own guilt kept him from enjoying the rare admission.

"Keh, well, I was kinda asking for it." His lips curved down regretfully. "I shouldn't have been kicking your bruises like that."

After all, when you fuck with a mean dog, you can expect to get bit. Sesshoumaru didn't take shit from anyone, and he was no exception. He was willing to accept his role in their adversarial relationship. Even if the bastard did start it.

"Regardless, it was unbefitting." Inuyasha didn't respond, and the longer the silence ensued, the more displeased Sesshoumaru became. His brother appeared to have forgiven him for the many wrongs he'd committed against him over the years, but he didn't feel he deserved to be absolved quite yet. He didn't know how to remedy the guilt in his chest, but he figured acknowledging it was a good place to start.

"I regret the bitch I took in our youth as well." Inuyasha looked back up from dressing to see his brother's deep frown. "Being truthful... I was always jealous."

"Over _Kara_?" he asked incredulously, as if what he suggested was blasphemous.

Once it registered, Sesshoumaru responded the same way.

"No," he insisted, very much offended by the insinuation. "Father. I was always second behind you, and the two of you had never even spoken. It wasn't fair."

The look on his face was the one he reserved for their father alone. Only now did Inuyasha recognize the subtle change, and what it was. Pain.

He instantly felt bad. He didn't know why his dad did what he did, but he found himself wishing the inu hadn't done it.

"But that wasn't your fault," Sesshoumaru declared, shaking off his anger and straightening. "I should not have taken my quarrel with him out on you, and I apologize."

He still wasn't used to this from him, and was aware it made them both uncomfortable. He wondered if that would ever go away.

"What's bringing all this up?" he wondered, but he shouldn't have.

"Kagome." Just speaking her name relaxed the tense air around them, as the woman who brought them together continued to do so, even unknowingly.

"She opened a door to a whole new world for me," he said reverently, looking down the field as his chosen female chatted happily, unaware that two sets of golden eyes rested on her seated figure. "Everything is different now; better. She gives me hope, peace, contentedness. Satisfaction." The hanyou got the feeling he didn't mean that how it sounded, but he wrinkled his nose nonetheless. When Sesshoumaru returned his attention to the younger inu, he didn't appear to notice.

"I feel like my life began that day in the snow, and I have you to thank. If not for you, I would never have found her, so I owe you... everything. My life." Taking in his brother's stunned reaction, Sesshoumaru frowned again. "Which is why it is uncomfortable for me to ask something of you now."

That seemed to shake the hanyou from his stupor. "What do you want?" he asked suspiciously, suddenly wary of what he may request.

"When you invited me into your pack, it was understood the arrangement would be temporary." Inuyasha nodded, but if he didn't know any better, he'd say his brother looked... nervous.

"However, even though I have returned West, I do not desire our affiliation to be terminated." Sesshoumaru regarded him carefully. "Seeing as how Kagome shall remain with This One, I propose a merger."

The daiyoukai tried to mask his discomfort with confident posture.

He wasn't sure how his brother would take to his proposal, or even if it was alright to make such a suggestion. But it only made sense to combine the packs, especially since they were family, and he had poached one of his most important members.

Understanding dawned, and Inuyasha smirked humorlessly. "Don't suppose you wanna call me alpha though, right?"

"No," he confirmed, and the half-breed's disappointment was palpable. "I would like to call you brother."

At his curious look, the demon lord clarified, "No mockery, no disdain, no half."

"And?" he demanded warily. "What else?"

"And I would like you to do the same."

Inuyasha just kept staring, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it never came. Sensing his hesitance, or perhaps it was confusion, Sesshoumaru sighed.

"There was a time when you needed my protection, but that time has long passed. I failed you then, but as a result, you have earned the right and capability to be your own man... or youkai. And I have lost the right to insist you submit."

It was too late for that now. He hadn't been alpha to him when he needed it, so he could not barge into his life and assume the role this late in the game. It wouldn't be fair.

"I shunned you because of my jealousy, but in doing so, made you even more enviable in my eyes. I will never know the freedom you enjoy."

His brother was resilient, and as a result, had earned a freedom that Sesshoumaru could only dream about. But he supposed the grass was always greener, like Kagome had said. Inuyasha believed that his brother was the one with an enviable life – a privileged existence. And while true in some respects, it was decidedly not in others.

"You do not need anyone now, so the pack you have made is simply there because you wish it to be."

Another right he'd earned through his hardship. Sesshoumaru's duty to those around him afforded him loyalty and respect, but those youkai didn't necessarily like him. He didn't necessarily like them, either; it wasn't required. But Inuyasha got to surround himself with the people he cared for... and dismiss the ones he did not.

"We cannot choose who is bound to us by blood, but we can choose who is bound to us by affection. I fear I have severed any ties the former would have granted, but it is my hope that in the latter lies a chance for reconstruction."

He remained silent, and Sesshoumaru took it as reluctance, or possibly rejection.

"I understand that some things cannot be forgiven. However, Kagome has shown me that amazing things are possible in that regard. Though she is an especially compassionate woman, and you would not be faulted to deny me this; it is... a rather large concession, I know."

But he wanted to make it clear that he did not wish to assert power over him. What he proposed would make them something like equals, and for the proud youkai, that would be quite the concession as well.

Inuyasha had yet to respond, but the daiyoukai tried to focus on the fact that the hadn't refused him outright. Hopefully, yet confidently; he held out his hand as Miroku had done with him when they reunited after the bridge.

The hanyou looked at him oddly, squinting at his hand, and then his face curiously.

"What is that?" he demanded.

Though Sesshoumaru's confidence wavered, his hand never did. He was starting to consider that the monk played him for a fool, however.

"I am told it is something men do."

Inuyasha regarded his outstretched hand another moment, before shaking his head.

"I don't think so."

Stoic yet disappointed, Sesshoumaru lowered his arm. He hadn't expected such easy forgiveness, but Kagome's influence had turned him into somewhat of an optimist. But he understood.

Before his hand returned to his side, however, his brother managed to outmaneuver him. He lunged forward, sliding his arms around the Western Lord's middle, and squeezed him for all he was worth.

The haughty demon was more than a little shocked. He was so completely stunned by the swift movement, in fact, that he stumbled backward a step before regaining his footing.

If they had ever touched in a non-violent way, Sesshoumaru couldn't recall it. But the rage and humiliation he should be feeling for having his hanyou brother's ear pressed tightly against his chest was surprisingly absent.

His own mother had never touched him so intimately, and before Kagome, he couldn't even recall a female who had been so bold. It was strange, but not terrible. Not exactly nice, but... humbling. He'd gone decades, even centuries at a time without touching another living soul. Such a simple thing, but impactful, and a comfort he had not anticipated.

When the shock began to wane, he slowly lifted his arms and returned the embrace, cradling the silver head against his chest.

He heard twin gasps off in the distance, followed by some sort of squeal, and when he shifted his gaze; the sight of Kagome's beaming features exuding approval and joy made him squeeze a little tighter.

"Thank you," he uttered lowly, "for letting me have her."

He felt the heavy scoff that blew across this clothing, and his brother looked up. "Like I coulda stopped her if I wanted to."

"I owe you my life. That is a rather large debt."

Another life debt, but worth it a thousand times over. Just as the last one had been.

Inuyasha finally pulled back, and the demon lord released him. "Just keep that smile on her face, and we're even."

"I intend to," he easily promised.

Too easily, he realized. Just like Kagome's request in the cave, it was not a fitting payment. For a life as magnificent as his, this debt was going to have to hurt.

Before Inuyasha could turn around, a clawed hand grasped his shoulder. Sesshoumaru grit his teeth, and forced out his next words.

"Honor requires me to inform you that I would already grant you this. You must choose another favor."

The hanyou dubiously regarded his brother's determined features and tried to think. Then, something flashed in his eyes before the most frightening smile Sesshoumaru had ever seen slithered its way up his lips.

The daiyoukai's stomach dropped, and he couldn't recall the last time fear had gripped him so tightly.

* * *

Summer

Introductions had barely been made before an apologetic servant asked for a brief aside. Inukimi excused herself and assured a swift return, leaving her son and his apparent mate-to-be sitting alone in the lavish, yet tastefully decorated room.

If Kagome was nervous about meeting Sesshoumaru's mother, she was hiding it quite well. She did not display any anxiety until she saw him produce a pipe – she had no idea where he'd gotten it – and proceeded to light it up.

He sensed the change, so once the smoke left his lungs, he turned to Kagome.

"A high-quality youkai tobacco," he explained. "nothing more."

"Really?" She eyed the extravagant device suspiciously, but could already determine that the smell was different.

"Would I lie to you?" She returned his mocking smirk, and he prepared to hit it again. "Even if I would, opium is a mortal trapping; it would have no effect on my youkai self."

"Still, I'd rather not risk it." As he turned away to release his smoke in a thick cloud, she placed a gentle hand on his thigh. "I need you in top form to perform your duties."

He smiled down at her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and placing a kiss on her crown.

"Nothing will keep This Sesshoumaru from ruling his lands effectively," he assured her. But as he gathered her close, she rubbed her hand up his leg suggestively.

"Those aren't the duties I'm talking about," she whispered, then laughed. "Though perhaps we wouldn't be in this mess."

He leaned down to press his forehead to hers. "It would have only delayed the inevitable; you cannot run from fate, miko."

She saw a familiar fire building in his amber gaze, and grinned. "Especially when he's a daiyoukai."

His dashing smile always did her in, and she tilted her head to receive his lips on hers. Right as they touched, Inukimi returned alone from the hallway she'd disappeared down.

They pulled apart, which she had surely seen, though she made no mention of it as she reclaimed her seat across from them.

She brandished her own pipe, nearly identical to his and filled with what she assumed was the same quality tobacco he mentioned.

"So, you are an acquaintance of his brother?" she asked, lifting the mouthpiece to her painted lips.

"Yes milady."

She released her modest puff, regarding the miko thoughtfully. "Then I assume you know the specifics of his father's fate."

Kagome nodded. "I do."

"And his mother."

"Yes."

After another thoughtful pause, she faintly arched her brow. "And this does not concern you?"

She brought the pipe back to her lips, and when Kagome turned to her side, she found the demon lord doing the same.

"I trust Sesshoumaru. I have faith in his abilities, not to mention my own." Smiling warmly, she took the hand resting at his side with hers and gave it a squeeze. "Besides, I love him, so nothing else really matters."

Sesshoumaru returned the affection comfortably as Inukimi watched on. She appeared to be assessing them carefully, but regarded her son with a mild amusement.

"How have you been received thus far?"

Kagome offered a genuine smile. "Everyone's been great."

"Really?" You could hear surprise in the regal demoness' tone.

"Oh, yes. After what happened with that tiger, they give us both a pretty wide berth."

There was a hint of pride in her aura, and Sesshoumaru's as he gazed down at her happily.

"Oh yes, I heard about that." Kagome could see the youkai's lips twitching, like Sesshoumaru's did when he was amused. "Gruesome fate. I was quite shocked to hear of your involvement."

"He harmed my friends," she shrugged, unapologetic. "and threatened the man I love. I am compassionate, but I'm not a saint."

His mother leveled a condemning glare.

"But a miko."

"Yes," she confirmed.

"Then you were simply upholding your duty to rid the world of youkai." She rose her pipe to her lips again and looked at her son. "More strange that you should bind yourself to one so... intimately."

Sesshoumaru said nothing, but the pressure Kagome felt around her hand relayed reassurance. She squeezed back, but kept her attention on his mother.

"That's not how I roll. I only rid the world of bad people; their race is irrelevant."

This seemed to amuse the demoness as well, though she appeared to be fascinated in her own subtle way.

"Does that not ostracize you from your kind?" she asked, but Kagome was dismissive in her reply.

"Any who would shun me for the company I keep is unworthy of my friendship anyhow. The way I see it, they are just saving me the trouble of figuring it out myself."

Inukimi was mid puff, but she nodded slightly in acceptance. Once she emptied her lungs, she offered, "I must admit, the West has been eerily peaceful ever since that ill-conceived attack."

"His foes showed their colors," she shrugged again. "and everyone saw the price you pay for that." Then, she held the Western Lady's gaze meaningfully, in a way the demoness would later describe as brave. "I don't want to hurt anyone, but I will if you threaten the people I love."

The demon's lips twitched again. "Do you love me?"

It was the first time during the meeting that Kagome faltered, and his mother smiled victoriously.

"I, um... yes?"

She didn't respond, but there was condemnation in that silence, and Kagome relented.

"I just met you, but I'd like us to be close, if you're open to it."

The request was hopeful and earnest, but the assessing gaze she'd been getting thus far suddenly took on a new edge that had the miko feeling very uncomfortable.

"I'm open to more than you might think," she told her, her smile taking on a more seductive air. "Just how close would you be willing-"

"Mother."

His deep, commanding baritone broke the trance, and earned Kagome's attention.

"Don't blame me, she's the one who brought in all that _love_ talk."

But his mother relented, turned back to her pipe again. Her focus was back on the miko as thick smoke curled past her ruby lips.

"Lady of the West is not some figurehead position," she informed her, all business once again. "It takes commitment and devotion, and the welfare of many are at stake. It is not simple to manage on its own, but balancing the duties with children can be very difficult even for youkai to handle, should the day arrive."

Kagome looked to the demon lord pensively, but he kept his focus forward.

"It is why I decided she would do well with your assistance," he answered.

She had been interested in meeting the Western Lady ever since she learned she was still alive, but she hadn't been particularly eager either. Being introduced to his mother was a big step, and though they planned to be mated anyhow, she figured she'd let him make the arrangements when he felt the time was right. He put it off as long as he could.

"I don't wish to take your position from you," Kagome felt inclined to assure her. "that is not what I'm after. But one day, kami forbid, it will be left to me, and I want to be prepared."

She was certainly in no rush to take on the massive responsibility, especially when there was a capable ruler already in place. The last thing she wanted to do was waltz in and start ruffling feathers. For now, she had no problem with hanging back and letting the demons do their thing. Or, at most, she would offer her input if she saw anything that might need retooling.

"I just thought maybe you could show me the ropes."

"Ropes?" she asked, lifting a silver brow. It was amazing how alike they were.

"Uh, yes. Train me, let me hang out, give me some pointers, that sort of thing." The blank stare she received was not promising. "I don't mean to cramp your style; I just figure why not learn from the best?"

The cheesy smile she gave earned her a light scoff as the Western Lady refilled her elegant pipe.

"I see you have some experience placating an enormous ego; I wonder where you learned it."

Her gaze slid to her son who frowned disapprovingly.

"I wonder where he got it."

Golden eyes instantly snapped back to the miko where they belonged. Brief surprise flittered out as they regarded her unapologetically defiant features, and then the demoness smiled.

"I certainly see the attraction. Firey and petulant has always been his type." Kagome turned to find the daiyoukai still glaring daggers at his mother while she continued to talk about him as if he weren't sitting right there.

"Propriety bores him to death, but his lifestyle has always demanded it." Her devious smile spread wider. "I bet he goes wild when you show up to take the hot air out of the room, throw a wrench in things and keep him teetering on those aristocratic toes."

The prospect seemed to amuse her further, but Kagome remained silent while the two demons continued to smoke. She withstood his mother's scrutiny commendably, even as it suddenly became more pointed. She was looking very thoughtful again, and finally declared, "You are unconventional. Untrained. Unindoctrinated. Human, miko," she rattled off with ease. "Very young. And defiant."

It was unclear whether it was meant to be an attack, so she didn't respond to her assessment.

"But you have motivation, interest and genuine concern. You will apply yourself; I can tell. Can you follow instruction? Obey commands? Show respect?"

"Of course," she said with a friendly smile. "So long as I am respected in turn, that is all I require."

Inukimi said nothing to that, only asked, "When is the mating?"

Sesshoumaru was smoking, so she replied, "Autumn."

"Not much time, but since you do not wish to push me out, I suppose it matters not. However, you will move to the Castle in the Sky to shadow me until the time when you are my son's mate."

Kagome nearly choked on her spit as she felt the demon lord tense beneath her hand.

"You want me to live with you?" she asked, then turned to Sesshoumaru for help.

"After then, you are free to assist me, or 'hang out' whenever it suits you." The demoness relaxed back in her seat as she lifted her pipe, incredibly nonchalant for what she just proposed.

Kagome was caught off guard by the suggestion and didn't quite know how to reply.

"That is very generous, but I don't know-"

"She will not leave the fortress."

His glare was intense as he wrapped his arm around her waist possessively.

"Keeping your little bird under lock and key?" his mother mocked, neither frightened nor impressed with his display. "I thought she was capable."

Suddenly, she paused. Understanding dawned as she lifted her eyes from the pipe she held to rest them on her son meaningfully.

"Unless there is another reason you are being unreasonable. I know that possessive glint." Looking back and forth between them, she said, "Tell me, why such a rush on the mating?"

The two shifted guiltily in their seats, and she raised her brows.

"You naughty boy! And you weren't going to tell me?" The inuyoukai's countenance went from admonishing to suddenly sympathetic as she shifted her focus to the mother-to-be.

"Poor thing," she offered, then turned to her son. "She's so young, you brute! Could you not have aimed for those pretty tits of hers?"

"Mother-"

"Well, this changes everything," she announced, decision made. "In that case, I must insist she move in immediately."

Arm still crossed, the miko turned to Sesshoumaru for help yet again, but his mother quickly cut in.

"Lady of the West is the least of your concerns. You have some challenging trials ahead of you." The earnest way she spoke had Kagome feeling nervous, and this was not lost on the demoness. "You are quite fortunate to have me to assist, as I have been through this once before."

Izayoi's pregnancy was not an easy one. It never is when a human woman gives birth to a half breed. Though not terribly common, Inukimi happened to have front row seats last time around, so at least her son's mate would not be working blind through the trying event.

"She will be protected as a member of our house, and I can guide her through the troublesome parts of the pregnancy." She looked to her increasingly displeased son. "You may come and go as you wish, but you have duties to see to as well."

Everything inside him wanted to flat out refuse, but when he looked to Kagome and saw the fear in her eyes, he thought better of it. He would do anything for her, but this was one instance where he would be forced to demur to someone more knowledgeable. This was too important to let his pride and selfish desires get in the way.

He begrudgingly agreed to his mother's terms, but vowed he would remain in the castle with her whenever it was possible.

* * *

Autumn

Kimi watched the scene play out below as a bout of bittersweet nostalgia pinched her heart in the most beautiful way.

The Lord of the West, hand in hand with his pupped human lover as she dragged him giddily into the cover of the forest. As she watched history repeat itself before her very eyes, she had an inkling of where the two were headed, though she did not need to guess why.

Beyond the wood was a beautiful little clearing Sesshoumaru used to frequent during his summers at the castle. Other times, after he was asleep, she and her mate would steal away to the serene, bloom-laden hideaway and make love beneath the moonlight.

Years later, Izayoi would accompany them.

Her son was a grown demon, and the Western Lord to boot. He certainly didn't need to sneak away to make love to his chosen female, he was well within his rights to do so in her home. And he had, several times and without repent since the miko had moved in to begin her training.

But autumn was upon them, and after the mating had taken place the carefree solitude they currently enjoyed would be much harder for the pair to come by. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen her pup looking vibrant and happy and just... thrilled to be alive.

She was grateful to the human who seemed to rejuvenate her cold and solemn son, so she would allow them the stolen private moments their little youthful excursion would afford.

* * *

Kagome lay in the center of a secluded field amongst a sea of white summer blooms. Hands thrown back over her head, she arched.

A rumbling growl answered her pleasured moan, vibrating off slick skin and stimulating it even further.

She looked down her body, and though beginning to make himself known, their unborn child was not large enough beneath her belly to block his handsome face from her view.

His crescent sat proudly between his ruffled bangs, and beneath; two molten amber pools were bleeding red with desire.

The ferocity in that gaze used to frighten her, but now his beast only showed himself to her when his passion could not be contained. He employed the same intensity when he fucked as when he fought, though his weapon, and execution were entirely different.

His stripes were still smooth – a barometer she'd learned to use to estimate how much time she had before he had them both too enraptured to speak – so she combed through silvery-white bangs to get his attention.

She was unsuccessful, however, and the hand in his hair clenched into a tight fist. A firm tongue stroked her languidly, wetting the velvet-soft flesh inside and out. His muffled groan reverberated up her body to be released through a second set of parted lips.

As the trembling subsided, she felt a large, warm hand rest gently on her modest baby bump, and looked back down. She could feel as well as see the intensity with which he worked, and at once the tender care he took in delivering his passion.

Not a word was needed, though his lips and tongue were not dormant as they latched on, wrapped around, and suckled on her heated flesh.

His claws pinched her hip, not too much but oh, just enough. But before she surrendered herself completely to the dog demon's capable care, a lazy smile graced her lips.

"I was just thinking," she began, and his red-rimmed gaze was hers to behold.

Then, the cool autumn air descended on her abandoned sex.

"I am not doing my job adequately if you are able to think at all."

He looked slightly annoyed, but his chin glistened in the sunlight.

"Shut up," she demanded, grinning even wider. "I was just thinking about how smooth these past few months have gone. It seems like we get along a lot better these days."

She reached down to stroke the impossibly smooth skin at his alabaster cheek. His eyelids narrowed.

"Despite you constantly telling This One to 'shut up.'"

She glared back. "If only you would listen."

The beginning of their acquaintance was wrought with sharp tongued exchanges and heated disagreements. The two stubborn, passionate, and fearless adversaries were neither accustomed to backing down nor shying away, especially when they thought they were right – which was most of the time.

But underneath that was an unspoken appreciation of finally having someone who could spar on their level. And though often on separate sides of an issue, they each posed a worthy challenge to the other's argument, resulting in a well thought out conclusion and better educated opinions.

But it became clear that the ferocity in their sparring correlated with sexual frustration, because once they started taking their disputes into the bedroom to hash out, those sharp tongues became occupied with more enjoyable endeavors. Clash of heated words would soon graduate to a clash of heated flesh, and by the time they were through they either did not remember or did not care what the argument had been about.

"We could have 'gotten along' sooner if you had allowed me to pleasure you earlier on." His lips curled wickedly to expose a deadly fang. "The blame lies with you."

His smooth, confident baritone reached her ears as claws scraped across her sensitive hip. The shiver that ensued began at the base of her skull and ran all the way through to her toes.

She recovered quickly and leveled a taunting smirk.

"You always try and blame me, but that excuse is like Tenseiga." He raised an eyebrow, and she said, "It ain't gonna cut it."

He held her smiling gaze stoically for a long moment, and did not drop it as he lowered his lips back down.

"You know- mmm-" Whatever she was going to say was effectively stifled by his clever mouth. His tongue stroked the swollen bud between her lips, before moving lower to trace her sopping entrance.

"What were you saying, miko?" he asked, not bothering to look up.

If he had, he would have seen her head thrown back to expose the soft column of her throat.

Her breasts pointed skyward as she arched her back in bliss, eyes screwed tightly shut while strong hands kept her waist anchored.

"I don't...ah - I don't remember."

* * *

Winter

The Warring States Era would continue to bestow some impressive snowstorms in the years that followed, but none would be as harsh and harrowing as that fateful winter Sesshoumaru became human. Kagome took it as an omen.

They were all tested that winter with many hardships and difficulties, but their resilience got them through it, and into spring all the stronger for what they had endured. Their troubles had melted away with the snow, and after the particularly problematic season, the ones to follow were not hard to withstand.

This year had been particularly generous with the weather, and though the treetops surrounding the old well still held reminders of their most recent blizzard; the clearing was free of freezing white. The world had been kinder to them lately, and it seemed to only be getting better as time went on. The future looked very promising.

"Hanyou will outnumber you soon," Inuyasha declared from his position lounging lazily against the well. He'd just learned earlier today that he was going to be an uncle _yet_ _again_ , and could already hear his wife lobbying for their own new addition to the brood.

He managed to stave her off the idea during Kagome's last pregnancy when their daughter was going through her little hellion phase. But she had calmed down quite a bit in the last few months – thank kami- so he knew it would be harder to temper Sango's desire to keep up with the Jones'.

"I am seeing to it personally."

Beside his brother in a much more refined pose, Sesshoumaru sat cross-legged with his back perfectly straight as they waited for Kagome to return from the future.

It made him nervous every time she left this era, and those anxieties only tripled when she started bringing their pups. The thought of his family being closed off from him 500 years in the future was a terrifying one, but if worse came to worse; he would simply have to wait it out. However, the well had shown no signs of weakening, nor had it failed them yet, and with all he had endured at the hands of the fates, he felt he was owed just this one kindness. Especially because he had been cursed as the only member of his family unable to take the shortcut.

"You can take a break," the hanyou informed him, somewhat irritably. "She is already pregnant. You can't make a new one until that one is born."

Sesshoumaru cast his brother a devilish look. "It is worth a try."

And try they did. Inuyasha rolled his eyes, but traces of amusement disrupted his annoyed cadence. Both reactions were valid, however. At least, he thought they were. It seemed like Kagome had just given birth to their last child and they were already onto the next.

After the first showed up way ahead of schedule, the couple had vowed to wait before expanding their little mix-raced family any larger. Now, they appeared to be off and running, and uncle Inuyasha was starting to worry he might have to give up demon slaying to babysit full time.

"With all that trying, I'm surprised you find the time to come by so much," he grumbled, taking his frustrations out on the poor flowers he just ripped out of the ground.

Mood suddenly soured, Sesshoumaru's lips curved downward to join his brother in a lament.

"And apparently it is still not enough for those obnoxious villagers."

It only took the younger inu an instant to realize what he was talking about. It started with fixing up a few huts, and soon expanded to stocking the nearby market. A few soldiers for protection here, a few smiths and specialty shops there. Before the village knew what hit them, they had gone from drab and destitute to one of the more desirable towns to live beside. They were flourishing, and despite trying to keep it quiet, everyone knew who was responsible.

Sesshoumaru of course refused all shows of appreciation the townspeople tried to bestow, so they finally found a work-around and elected to hold a yearly festival in the bastard's honor. He showed up begrudgingly as etiquette would dictate, but he always complained for weeks leading up to the event. Inuyasha was certain he was more annoyed that they were able to pull a fast one on the Western Lord and make him accept their gift.

Besides, it wasn't like anyone made him do all that nice stuff for them. He was surprised to learn that Kagome didn't even have anything to do with the unprecedent generosity. Not directly, anyhow.

He just started doing it one day, and no one had been able to pry a reason out of the fucker. Maybe there wasn't one.

"They're just trying to show their gratitude," he explained, not for the first time. "The celebration is their way of saying thanks for all you have done around here over the years."

And it was a damn good time, too. It was the one time of year his wife let him get completely shit-faced in public, and with all the free booze, he wasn't alone. All alcohol had been provided by an anonymous benefactor, and he had a suspicion of who it might be.

"It is bad enough that they try and poison me with their putrid human food," Sesshoumaru groused, with a very convincing scowl.

"Sorry, they can't afford a proper gift for your highness. They just want to honor you for keeping them safe and helping the village prosper." Inuyasha's petulance failed to smooth out the creases in his brother's brow, but it never intended to.

"I do not need their pathetic gifts," he insisted. "From now on, you may take credit for my services."

Inuyasha scoffed. "So you can keep your tough-guy asshole image lest anyone think you might actually give a crap about them?" He shook his head dismissively with an obnoxious smirk. "You are so transparent."

If he bothered to look over, he would have seen a very impressive glare being leveled at him from a very intimidating daiyoukai. Instead, the hanyou just looked unassumingly out into the tree line and dared the demon lord to refute his claim with any conviction. The moment of silence stretched on.

"So, how's the training coming along?" he finally asked, changing the subject. "Has your son been able to control his youki."

Straightening, Sesshoumaru's annoyance was forgotten in an instant.

"He has shown much improvement." Inuyasha nodded in acceptance, obviously pleased. "The advice you gave him has proven invaluable. I thank you again."

"No problem," the hanyou replied, a shy smirk curling up half his face. "I wish I knew a half-demon when I was his age to show me that stuff. I had to learn it all on my own." Something wistful came over his features then, and his smile evened out. "At least he has nice big fortress, and two strong parents to protect him."

He instantly regretted the remark when he saw remorse flash in his brother's eyes for half a second, before being quickly covered up and replaced with genuine gratitude.

"He is fortunate to have an uncle to guide him as you do," he offered stiffly. "There is nothing I could possibly provide him that is as valuable as first-hand knowledge and experience. I appreciate you giving him the benefit of your years." He held his eyes a moment more, and then said, "I consider myself lucky to have a hanyou as my brother."

It wasn't the first time he thanked him. It wasn't even the first time he'd said those words. But Inuyasha still blushed, and averted his eyes under the weight of his brother's appreciation.

"Yeah, well, the next one's growing up quick. Son number two is already showing the signs, so I think I'm gonna start his training even earlier."

When Sesshoumaru's eldest started displaying his youki in erratic ways, he immediately took him to his brother. He was aware there were difficulties with hanyou containing their strong demonic blood, though he was not certain the extent of the issue, or what it meant.

Over the years, Inuyasha had shown his nephew the trade secrets on managing the powerful youki, as well as many other things only a fellow hanyou would be privy to. No one knew the struggles he would face more than he did, so in addition to his uncle, he had also become a mentor of sorts.

The reiki was the curveball he couldn't help him with, but when the time came, Kagome was ready to help him train.

"Whatever you think is best," Sesshoumaru said, unable to contain his amusement in his brother's embarrassment. "I trust you."

"Too bad he ain't coming this time." Sesshoumaru nodded in agreement. "But I gotta say, one of your demon spawns is more than enough to keep me busy. We had a blast last time, but I was exhausted."

When Kagome returned through the well, she would be short a couple of pups this trip. The tradeoff for letting her give up on college and stay in the feudal era was that Mrs. Higurshi decreed she must be allowed visitation with her grandpups before they grew too old to pinch and spoil. Sesshoumaru easily agreed, but that was before any of his progeny were in the picture, and the threat of permanent separation did not loom so thickly in his throat.

At least it gave he and Kagome some increasingly hard to come by alone time. But he always insisted at least one of the pups stay back with them, just in case. That was where uncle Inuyasha came in.

"If it is an imposition, I can still arrange for a sitter at the fortress."

"Nah, its fine," his brother assured him. "I like the little tyke. He reminds me of me."

"Me as well," Sesshoumaru agreed with a smile. It quickly fell away. "Though perhaps it is the name in part."

When his brother had demanded he request a favor all those years ago, he couldn't think of anything he wanted. He didn't think he was vindictive, but the more Inuyasha thought about it, the more he suspected that he did have some pent-up hostility towards his older sibling.

That was long gone now, but Little Inuyasha would forever be a testament to the petty nature of the brothers' relationship.

"Yeah, sorry about that," the hanyou said sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head. "I was pretty immature back then."

Even Sesshoumaru didn't know what his flat glare was for; that the long-lived hanyou referred to five years prior as 'back then,' or that he insinuated he was no longer immature.

"Indeed," was all he said, and opted to drop it.

"Not that I'm complaining, but why isn't Rin watching them? I thought she was your go-to."

Talk of his ward saw the return of Sesshoumaru's foul mood and deep scowl.

"It is difficult to ask when she will not grant an audience."

"Still mad huh?"

Irritably, the demon lord snatched a small flower out of the ground beside him and began tearing at the petals like his brother had done.

"Entirely. It is ridiculous. If anyone should be upset, it is This One."

"You _were_ upset," he reminded him, yanking out another flower. "That's what got you into trouble."

"My actions were entirely justified."

"You held him over the balcony by the throat."

"Yet I did not drop him," he quickly pointed out.

"His neck was bruised." Inuyasha grimaced. "And he pissed himself."

Sesshoumaru lifted his nose haughtily and turned his head. "It was just warning."

"He didn't know that."

"He knew what would happen." When he found he'd removed the last of the petals from his poor flower, Sesshoumaru threw what remained disdainfully into the grass. "I told him as much when their courtship began."

"I mean granted; it was hella stupid to mess around with her in the fortress..." Sesshoumaru seemed to appreciate his brother's concession. "but what do you expect from horny teenagers?"

"Respect," the daiyoukai replied moodily. "Decorum."

"Feh. At that age, sex trumps all else. You gotta get it when you can get it, and damn all the consequences."

Sesshoumaru was certain he had never been so careless at that age. Fairly certain...

At any rate, Rin was still very much a child in his eyes. She was a good kid, but she lacked the maturity for such things. Why else would the thought of her entertaining suitors be so distasteful to him? She needed a bit more worldly experience before she was ready to leave his protection.

"Rin should have known better," he grumbled. "I warned her about the machinations of young males."

"From what I heard; it was her idea." The death glare Inuyasha received made him throw up both his hands defensively. "Don't blame the messenger! She's the same age Kagome was when you started fooling around; don't be a hypocrite." Sesshoumaru pouted at his brother's assessment.

It wasn't the same. Kagome was an old soul. Literally. Plus, she lived a lot faster than Rin did, a lot more dangerously. Not to mention, she had _him_ ushering her into womanhood, and not some snot-nosed-

"Besides, it's not all Kohaku's fault," Inuyasha said with a grin, and a knowing sparkle in his eye. "Girls that age like to rebel. I bet she did it just as much to turn the screws to you as to Kohaku. She wants to prove she's her own woman, and get attention, and make you nuts. It's just what they do."

"When does it stop?" the daiyoukai asked dejectedly.

"Stop?" Inuyasha pretended to look confused, only to smirk again when his brother gave him a pained look.

"How do you know so much about human women?" he asked, ripping another flower out of the grass.

Inuyasha shrugged. "Raised by one, loved a few. I'm a magnet."

When he turned to his brother wearing his shit-eating grin, he saw the miserable demon lord tearing up the flower in his hands, and finally took pity on him.

"Want advice?" he asked. "Let Kagome talk to her, then do whatever Kagome tells you to do. I guarantee it will save you miles of pain."

Sesshoumaru stared blankly at his brother for a moment, before realizing that was actually pretty good advice. There were many benefits to taking a mate, but passing off less desirable duties onto your more capable partner was one he did not take advantage of nearly enough. That was going to change.

"So, what's on the agenda tonight?" Inuyasha wondered. "Romantic evening alone?"

Just the mention of it lifted the youkai's mood exponentially. Sesshoumaru perked up.

"Indeed. Kagome has been occupied with the children, and I have been handling peace negotiations between the neko clans with Toran, so alone time has been sparse. Our anniversary came just in time this year."

"Anniversary?" he asked, creasing his brow. "But you were mated in autumn. I remember, cuz that's when Sango cut me off from sex for those three agonizing months. Thanks for that by the way."

"I fail to see how that is my fault."

"You started seeing Kagome after I started seeing Sango, but you got mated before us," he explained matter of factly. "It makes me look bad."

"Again, I fail to see how it is my fault that you have an aversion to commitment."

He normally wouldn't give a damn about his brother's opinion on his love life, but Inuyasha had received that critique in the past from more than one person. He was starting to think there was something to it. Or at least, there had been.

"Don't act like you're better than me," he ordered indignantly. "The only reason you pulled the trigger so damn quick was cuz you had to. Couldn't bear the thought of being even more like pops and siring a bastard of your own."

"We were going to mate regardless," Sesshoumaru insisted defensively. "The pup simply expedited the process."

He would have liked to have a bit more time to themselves first, but he couldn't say he wasn't pleased to have her agree sooner than previously decided.

"Anyway, your anniversary is in autumn, so what gives?"

The daiyoukai smiled smugly and adopted a mischievous glint that had his brother curious.

"Our mating anniversary is not the one we are celebrating," he informed him. "Tonight is the anniversary of Kagome finding This One human in the snow and saving his life."

"Oh shit, really?" Inuyasha asked. "What's it been... five years?"

"Six."

"Damn, where's the time go?" A wistful smile claimed him as the hanyou recalled the journey they took together. "Seems like that was yesterday."

The demon lord smiled as well, a sense of peace washing over him as he thought on the evening that often claimed his thoughts.

"Life as I knew it changed on that night, so each year I thank her properly for her consideration."

"Yeah, especially since you weren't entirely grateful for her at the time."

"Shamefully not," Sesshoumaru acknowledged, deflating just a bit. "It is a slight I shall pay for until my dying breath, I presume."

But if Kagome held any grudges, she certainly didn't let on. Inuyasha suspected she only played that card when she really needed to. He smirked at the idea of the Ice Prince working at a disadvantage.

"So, where you taking her? Someplace fancy?"

"A cave," Sesshoumaru replied happily.

"A cave?"

" _The_ cave, more specifically."

"You're going camping?" Inuyasha was incredulous. Not that he wasn't outdoorsy. The Western Lord was just a bit... particular. " _You_ like camping?"

"I like sleeping bags," he clarified. His brother mouthed and exaggerated 'oh.'

"We revisit there each year and relive that fateful evening as a tribute to how far we've come. With some noteworthy revisions, of course," he said proudly. Inuyasha scoffed.

"Feh, of course. Lemme guess." Then he tried out his best Kagome impression. " _Oh Sesshoumaru, your dick is frozen stiff. You better let me warm it before it falls off from frostbite_."

"You have been spying on us?" the daiyoukai asked, eventually cracking a smirk. His brother chuckled. "We reenact how things should have gone that evening."

It blew his mind how he could have ever resisted the naked miko squirming atop him all night long. Especially with how he remembered her feeling pressed against him, all warm and moist...

But then, he was a stubborn bastard. If he'd been demon that night and had his senses, the scent of her arousal would have definitely done him in.

"Yeah, you never would have found Rin," the hanyou said confidently. "You'd still be in there, knowing you two."

Before he could retort; the familiar pull of his miko's aura had him on his feet. It was wild, going from absolutely nothing, to all her awesome power revealing itself at once. He almost got a headrush as he quickly stood, and practically threw himself down the well to greet her.

Inuyasha chuckled at his eagerness, and slowly stood to receive his friend.

But after a moment, he was still standing alone, and he tried to ignore the sound of lips locking and mouths sucking and tongues... he didn't even want to think about it.

" _Father_!" he heard little Yasha wail from the well's harrowing depths. The pup's complaint had its desired effect, and a moment later, Sesshoumaru emerged with his mate in his arms, and their pup in hers.

The second she put him down, Yasha ran straight to his uncle to climb on him a bit.

"Hey," she greeted warmly, yet tiredly. "Sorry I took so long; you know how Mama is."

"How is your mother?" Sesshoumaru asked, plucking their son's travel bag from her shoulder and handing it off to his brother.

"She's great. She sends her love."

"And she received mine?" he asked, pulling her into his arms as he got briefed on her visit.

"Of course." She surrendered to a quick peck on the lips before he allowed her to continue. "She loved the pictures I took, and the kids had a blast. I wish you could come with me; I really think you'd get along."

She felt terrible leaving him behind every time she went to visit her mother. And he was not the only one who feared the well closing up. Just the thought of him alone, having his family ripped away... If it ever happened, she just hoped she was on this side.

"I will meet her eventually; we simply must be patient." The way he rubbed her arms and spoke with confidence eased her anxieties immensely. But she knew he was just as twisted up as she was. She could always count on him to keep calm, no matter what. For his sake, she tried to emulate him.

"Yep, you've got 500 years to make a good impression, so hopefully you can pull yourself together by then."

Kami, he missed her. She was only gone a few hours, but they drug on painfully when she was not around. He hoped that never changed.

She smiled up at him tauntingly as they remained wrapped in each other's arms, and he countered with a wicked grin of his own.

"I imagine she would simply be grateful that I took her bratty child off her hands. I expect quite the dowry when I arrive."

She detached herself as he went in for another kiss, and stepped away.

"Well, if that's how you're going to be, I can just turn right back around and throw my costume back in the closet."

"You found it?" he asked hopefully, and she patted her overstuffed backpack.

"Of course." His eyes sparkled hungrily as his wicked smile intensified. "But the milk makes my breasts so much bigger; they're going to be bursting out the top."

He didn't pretend to sympathize as he watched her assess and shake said breasts.

"What costume?" Inuyasha asked, eager to remind the couple both he and their son were still in the vicinity.

"Oh, just my old school uniform," she replied, and turned toward her mate. "Sesshoumaru was feeling nostalgic."

The demon smiled in the face of his brother's judgmental glare.

"What can I say, I am growing sentimental with age."

"Sure pervert, whatever you say," the hanyou muttered while he lifted the energetic youngster up on his shoulders.

"Speaking of perverts," Kagome intoned, "how's the monk these days?"

Inuyasha made a face. "Still running that wacko village as their spiritual leader."

"It's a cult, is what it is."

"It's weird. I don't see why all those women wanna line up to be wife number 377, or whatever. The guys, I at least understand. That ratio is outstanding."

To be honest, she totally got it. It wasn't for her, like at all, but Kagome could understand the draw. If you like that sort of thing.

"Miroku is charming and confident," she pointed out. "throw in master grifter, and those girls never stood a chance. He offers them sensual enlightenment through sexual liberation, romance without restrictions, and a judgement-free lifestyle. For a lot of women who had their womanhood monitored, regulated, or slut shamed, I could see how the opportunity for a less traditional way of life could be appealing. It is very progressive for these times."

She'd explained it to him before, but the hanyou was resistant to accepting his good friend's new way of life. She'd wager he'd be against anything that took the monk away from him, but would concede that this scenario was a particularly weird one.

But, to each his own. There were certainly many who questioned her sanity when they learned she would be leaving her priestess duties to shack up with the most ruthless demon in the Western Lands. She was in no position to judge; she just hoped her friends were happy.

"And, so long as he isn't hurting anybody, we can't dictate what grown adults do with themselves."

"It is manipulative, and exploitive," her mate stoically decreed. He'd expressed his opinion on the subject many times, so she knew his main concern was seeing the charming grifter gaining so much loyalty and power. He was just a human, and he knew the monk was peaceful. But he kept an eye on anyone who acquired a mass following so quickly like he had. He knew Miroku better than most, and he would put nothing past the man.

One thing was for certain; with several hundred wives, he was no longer wanting for children. Now, he had enough to ensure his legacy lived on well into the modern era. Half of japan was fitting to end up having Miroku for an ancestor.

"I don't disagree, but most of those women are there escaping much worse." And he'd heard her argument several times, but she was inclined to give it again. "He offers them shelter and safety, and he doesn't force them to do anything. It isn't like they're locked up; they can leave whenever they want."

"Well, you're welcome to join him whenever you like," Inuyasha teased. "We all have standing initiations to move to Miroku's love ranch."

"I should at least pay him a visit," Kagome said guiltily. She promised to keep in touch, but she'd just been so busy...

"You will not go without This One present."

"No way," she immediately replied, and wrapped her arms around his middle when he cocked a brow at her. "All those women and the free love vibes do not mix with my mate, thank you very much."

"Where is your trust, miko?" he chided teasingly, bowing his head down to hers.

"I trust you implicitly. It's those horny women disciples of the lecher I don't trust."

His hands were on her hips as they swayed back and forth, foreheads touching while they gazed into each other's eyes.

"I have been artfully avoiding aggressive advances from shameless women since before your ancestors were born;" he assured her smugly. "I can handle myself."

"Is that so?"

He bent even closer until their noses touched, still rocking slightly as she moved her arms around his neck.

"Yes, and I had a perfect record until a particularly shameless miko pulled me in from the snow, stripped me bare, and trapped me inside her sleeping bag for the evening."

"Alright, c'mon squirt," Inuyasha announced to pup on his shoulders. "We gotta get you outta here before you learn what perverts your parents are."

"I already know," the youngster mumbled as they moved out of the clearing and away from the canoodling pair.

"Is that how it happened?" she asked after an all-too-fleeting kiss. "My memory is a little foggy."

"If you had chosen the favor I offered you more wisely, you would have been given a night you could never forget."

He told her much later what he'd expected her to ask him for that night, and how distasteful he had found the idea. Honestly, it had never crossed her mind to ask for his body; she was too preoccupied with saving it. And herself.

That's not to say she hadn't been aroused, they both knew that was a lie. But they also both knew he did not find the notion as distasteful as he had tried to tell himself.

"So, instead of bartering for the lives of my pack, you insinuate I should have requested a night of mindless passion?"

"Hn. I had already decided I would not kill you," he informed her lowly, and she mocked outrage at his deviousness. "You could have had both."

"But what about my friends?" she challenged, then felt two large hands sliding slowly down her backside.

"I would have been too exhausted to kill them after all that mindless passion." She gasped when he grabbed her firmly and threw back her head when he put his lips to her throat.

"Well then, I definitely blew it... again," was her husky reply. She felt him growl in agreement against her skin, and ran her fingers through his long, silky white hair. "I never seem to make the right wish. Any chance at a do over?"

He pulled back to let his lips hover just over hers, teasing her cruelly and pulling her hips to his so she could feel every inch of what she was in for.

"That, my dear, is what this evening is all about."

He descended on her slowly, took her lips gently despite the urgent need pressing hard between them.

Out here, he was a wild, vicious beast with perfect control. But when she got him alone, that measured restraint it took centuries to build was reduced to tatters in a matter of seconds, and she knew she was the only one who had that power, that privilege.

"It is," she agreed, grabbing his face and aching between her thighs when he smiled devilishly just for her. "And as fun as it is to pretend, in all truth; I wouldn't change a thing about that night."

"Nor would I," he rumbled. "If everything that happened got us to right here, I would do it all again in a heartbeat."

As a woman who traveled back in time; Kagome was well aware of the ramifications of altering the past. If she'd asked for some hot sex that night, or if she'd wished the jewel away like she was supposed to, in all likelihood, they would not be there right now. They would not be together at all.

So, though her choices had been the wrong ones at the time, they had ultimately been the right ones for them both, and she would never wish for anything different.

She'd made the right wish all along, she just needed to pass through a bit of time before she could see it.

"But just for fun," she said playfully, and his cloud began to form. "let's find out what that other wish has in store for us."

And then he flew them back to the cave to make all her wishes come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuckin' fin.
> 
> I wanna thank everybody who supported this story over the past year. 2020 is no doubt going down as complete shitshow, but writing this has been a fun distraction for me, and I hope it was for you too.
> 
> I'm free, lol! See ya on the next one! Be good to yourself and each other!


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